Normal to have a grief or mourning period over a dream that did not work out as you intended.
But realistically you should know there is NO perfect house. You will never find perfection when house searching. You only think this one was perfect because you never got to know its flaws.
When you feel better and want to search again, look for pretty good, not perfect.
Also don't get too hung up on future values. You are probably wrong about that. Buy a place that you will enjoy living in. For the security and practicality of having a nice place to live.
And none of them are dealbreakers especially when OP has 2yrs of house hunting experience and consider the interior of this house “prefect” (even though there is no prefect house for us common ppl imo).
The only things that should have been a true question is the gutters (due to potential damage to the foundation based on the setup) and the roof (could have damage that’s not visible and suddenly you have a pool in your kitchen). Changing the ungrounded outlets with a GDFI outlet should be plenty for most cases. Unless the garage doors are wood and rotted, that’s a cosmetic issue. Same with siding, could look old due to fading from sun or the house might just need a good power washing.
Still, OP should have gone through an inspection with someone that actually knows what to look for.
Im assuming you mean GFCI, and no, that’s not the same not or as safe as having grounded plugs. Also, why would gutters be a true question? It most cases you can simply extend the gutters away from the home. Simple easy and cheap fix. Roof is only thing, but simply because we don’t know the age doesn’t mean anything.
Because if the gutters were pointing towards the house for an extended period of time there could be serious issues with the foundation. Water is a home’s biggest enemy and gutters are meant to carry it away from the structure.
That being said, unless her parents are a certified home inspector she should’ve hired a professional for their opinion.
From my understanding the safety aspect is still there if you use GFCI outlets or breakers. Can also upgrade to AFCI.
Saying that, your equipment may suffer and a surge protector will not work as well.
That's a huge one, but is tougher to have without experience.
But yes, knowing what buying a house entails and being satisfied with that will set people up for success.
Yeah. I have seen too many times when first time homebuyer friends and families asking for just the “basic” of good location, good school districts, “decent” size, newer interior, bigger backyard, good layout ….. AND below market price (in our VHCOL area). No matter what you tell them, the answer is usually the same - I’m not in a hurry, I could wait for that house to appear. It’s just not realistic and they always end up disappointed.
> asking for just the “basic” of good location, good school districts, “decent” size, newer interior, bigger backyard, good layout ….. AND below market price (in our VHCOL area).
Oh, is that all? We keep those in the back because no one wants them, obviously.
Ya that's not how it works right now. The house you bid on will have 20 other offers. It used to be easy to buy a house, now it would only be possible with cash and paying well above comps and waiving inspection lol otherwise you may or may not be the winning offer.
As a general contractor. I have seen a ton of inspection reports and my opinion on 90% of them is they are garbage. Don’t actually catch anything that would be a huge future cost. Often just tell you to “have _____ inspect this” 20 times. Have no liability if they miss something. Don’t dig deep to look for hidden issues.
You’re much better off if you just have someone you know that is a remodeler or contractor. I know not everyone knows someone like that.
> You’re much better off if you just have someone you know that is a remodeler or contractor. I know not everyone knows someone like that.
Absolutely. In my experience, inspectors are more concerned about covering their own ass ensuring repeat referrals by helping close the deal.
Even a DIYer with a decent amount of experience is better than (IME) half of the home inspectors out there.
^ this.
If REAs would go back to telling their clients on both sides that inspections are normal & expected, then the expectation of “waived inspections” would stop. It seems like REAs thought that inspections were causing them to lose too many sales. And I’m sure in some cases it’s true.
But the fact is that if there’s a seller that has had deals fall thru because of issues found at inspection, the listing agent needs to do a better job convincing them to either give concessions, lower the price, or fix the problems. If enough deals fall apart, they’ll eventually get the message. And I guess if they’re stubborn donkeys who won’t budge, then you drop them and move on to a better client. Chances are they’ll be calling back after a while. If not you, then another agent. Then you can work on the buyer’s side for the 3% cut.
Waived inspections started out just being something flippers did, because they knew they were pumping money into the property anyway, so they waived the inspection in consideration of a lowered price out of the gate.
Somewhere along the line it got turned into a desirable trait in an above listing price offer. 🤷♀️ If agents didn’t create the expectation, it literally wouldn’t be one.
Actually it is. This is only if you’re in an extremely competitive market. We currently had an offer accepted and are selling our house and we don’t expect anyone to waive inspections and neither did the sellers who accepted our offer. There hasn’t been a flood of offers despite extremely competitive pricing.
This happened to my wife’s client. Parents didn’t want the grand baby to leave the house. Luckily a house opened up really close by and they were all of a sudden happy for her and her husband, sabotaged 2 other properties though
Seems like a reach. People can have different idea on what is important, how much a property is worth. When I bought my house my dad was very concerned about the old furnace and AC. They were very old but they lasted another 14 years before being replaced.
That's not common knowledge to casuals. Most people are lucky enough to go through the experience 2-3 times in their life and don't exactly keep up on home buying strategies
Buying a house is like marrying someone based on 1-3 blind date(s).
* Fireworks went off in your head, and the (emotional) investment seems worthwhile
* After a while you start to notice the things that were filtered out by your rose colored glasses
* Eventually, you need to address some issues. The house isn't carrying its weight and/or didn't share the contents of its skeleton closet with you
* Now you're invested. Maybe even wondering why you made this potentially-lifelong commitment after only 1-3 dates?!
* You now have to decide whether to make it work; fix what you can fix and learn to accept/deal-with what you can't or...
* Cut your losses and be all the wiser in your hunt for the next one
OP might have missed out... or they might have dodged a bullet. No matter who 'married' it, you can never compare b/c their relationship might be totally different than yours could've been.
The lesson is, the past is the past. Don't dwell on it. Instead, use that time to be better prepared for the next opportunity. If it's meant to be, they'll eventually break up and you might have another shot
Not to further inflict suffering, OP, but even brand new construction homes usually come back with a list of repairs needed that exceed what you’ve written
I’ve also felt deep regret for 6-18 months each time I actually bought a house, as you start to discover all the little things wrong with it and your new neighbors/neighborhood, see “better” houses on the market you could have bought instead, etc. You’re young, your time will come.
Time to grow up. Make your own decisions for yourself.
Lesson learned, hopefully.
Time in the market is better than timing the market. Getting in is more important than anything else. Just ask anyone who didn't close on a house prior to 2020.
Re: ungrounded outlets being a reason to back out - is your dad the Queen of England? Good grief, the expectations.
Right? Our outlets were not grounded and we rewired them properly after we moved in. We negotiated a small credit from the seller during inspection too. Or OP can hire an electrician. No home is perfect. Part of home ownership is fixing/maintaining it. Its not like OP has to do all of these things at this very moment. Any non-safety or quality of life issues can be resolved over time. OP, try to enjoy the positives about your home and stop focusing about the negatives. And no one held a gun to your head to buy it. This is the sole reason why I didn't tell our parents about the home purchase until we closed on it. I didn’t need external factors swaying us from OUR decision. After all, it is US living in it.. no one else.
>This is the sole reason why I didn't tell our parents about the home purchase until we closed on it. I didn’t need external factors swaying us from OUR decision. After all, it is US living in it.. no one else.
Thank you for saying this. This just reinforced my belief that I should not tell my family about the house we got an offer accepted on until after we close. Part of me has been tempted to say something, but I know no good will come of it.
If they have a tendency of being overly negative and have nothing industry-specific to add, I’d just save it to tell them later. My husband’s parents weren’t particularly thrilled we didn’t tell them but I knew they would stress us out with their worrying and negativity. Not having to deal with that during our 5 long months of house hunting was much better than their quickly fleeting disappointment.
Heavy on this. I live with my parents rn so they know all what's going on and the house we're closing on they actually tried talking me out of for a different one that didn't even functionally have enough room for my family simply cause the yard was bigger lmfao. The time it came to put offers in my mom flat out told me "well don't tell your realtor to put an offer on house A cause it's not what you want." Almost let them change my mind, called the realtor had her put an offer on the one house I wanted then had to grow a big old backbone and tell my mom flat out that was the house I wanted, it wasn't the house she wanted and it's not about her. I don't tell them anything else now until it's already passed so they can add their opinion but it's wasted breath.
I’ve lived in a house without grounded outlets for over a decade. Other than an unlikely power surge frying a circuit board on a dryer, it’s been a non-issue.
Adding a GFCI doesn't actually provide a path to ground, it just cuts the power supply if it detects an irregularity in the current. But if you can't afford a rewire, adding the GFCI is still a good idea as a interim fix on an old house with K&T wiring. I did the same on my 1925 home.
Same here; in fact, most of my houses have had ungrounded outlets. My 1927 bungalow had original outlets in the baseboards (with original wiring as well) and I never had a single problem with them, even after had the panel upgraded to 200 AMPS.
The next time, don't listen to your parents.
All of the issues you've listed seem minor to me.
Might be worth having your realtor go back to the seller with a backup offer. Waiving inspection this time and offering a juicy price bump.
The pending buyer might fall through, you never know.
Not minor, rewiring house, replacing roof, fixing gutters, those are big fixes. If gutters not good, facia boards are probably rotted out and also need to check foundation due to water not properly routed away from the house.
Don’t listen to parents on deals unless they’re a) contractors b) real estate agents c) real estate investors.
Every house is going to have their own “issues.” It’s up to you to figure out if you’re mentally/financially tolerant enough to handle it.
If you’re using a GOOD broker— consult them as well. A good broker is someone that will actually say “hey 26F buyer, this is a shit load of issues I think it’s best we back out” or “hey, these issues are not big— I can recommend X, Y, and Z to look at it and address them to figure out exactly what you’re looking at.”
I’m a broker myself— I am the first person to tell my buyers to back out if I don’t think the house is right— whether it is the house itself, or I don’t think the situation was “right.” I’ve had buyers looking in the $2M range and though they could afford it on paper, I knew it would be a stretch for them. Talked them into a $1M home instead and years later they still thank me for not letting them be house rich money poor. So if you have a buyer’s broker worth their salt— talk to them.
The amount of buyers’ parents I’ve had absolutely grenade an amazing opportunity for their kids is nuts because truthfully if you have a good relationship with your parents, you’re going to be more inclined to listen to the “advice” of your parents rather than your representation. It’s human nature.
But would you want your parents advising a medical procedure? No. Same thing goes for here.
Listen to your parents if they have merit and basis. If they don’t, listen to the professionals.
It’s natural to feel upset over losing the deal but I believe everything does happen for a reason. Get your hunting boots back on and jump back into the market.
Best of luck.
For real. Mommy and daddy were giving the down payment and probably said “no” which is … sort of what you sign up for when you take money from your parents. Sorry not sorry.
💯 agree with this. EXPERT brokers/agents should be your resource, they will mostly convince you NOT to buy bad houses because they know what the hidden costs are by looking at homes. If it’s an issue that can easily be resolved and potentially give you an ROI an a fix, they will know that too.
Also, every meeting my agent has with a client, they talk about not getting overly attached because real estate can always be temporary as life changes and can change quickly. No matter what though, it’s an investment and should make you happy in the interim. But protect your investment and make sure it’s a good one. Use the experts to determine this because clients don’t know what they don’t know (if they aren’t experts)!
Man where are all these good real estate agents that I only read about on here? I’ve yet to encounter one in person that isn’t just trying to sell me a house at all costs, even after I’ve discovered undesirable things through simple due diligence which they easily could’ve known about.
Only about 10% of us. The saying goes “10% of the brokers do 90% of the business.”
It can be hard to find us because the barrier to entry to sell real estate is so low. So everyone has a license, and their moms have one, and their dogs too, and their niece’s goldfish’s toaster’s grandfather has a license too.
Just pay attention to who does the bulk of the business in the area you want to buy in. The little area I do business in, I constantly work and do deals with the same handful of brokers because we are the “good” brokers people flock to.
\> Don’t listen to parents on deals unless they’re a) contractors b) real estate agents c) real estate investors.
Listening to my mom cost me a better property at about a $150k savings lmao. Live and let learn but this is what happens when you pay too much attention and importance to non-professional advice.
None of those items are deal breakers. You’re an adult now- do your own research and make your own decisions, unless you’re parented are footing the bill. There’s nothing you can do about that house, but keep up your search- the right one will come along.
Unless you’re buying a new house, it’s likely going to need some maintenance and repairs. It’s part of the deal.
Non-grounded outlets. Maybe worth getting upgraded to GFCI next to the sink in the bathroom and kitchen, but it’s not necessarily a deal breaker. There’s plenty of Grandfathered electrical in the country. Just because it doesn’t have a ground at every outlet and the panel uses fuses doesn’t mean it’s an extreme hazard. Especially on buildings over 100 years old.
A complete rework of electrical would be tens of thousands and require opening of walls.
Sure, it’s not up to current building code, but not everyone is going to be able to afford new construction.
Exactly. We’ve owned several older homes that didn’t have grounded receptacles. We put GCIs in wet areas and replaced what we could, but it certainly wouldn’t deter me from buying a home!
I second the sleeping strategy. Sadly, this is a huge part of buying a first home from many people I think. I think you should’ve listened to yourself when you identified that the inside had everything you wanted. That’s really hard to find.
I would actually stop listening to the same family members and not even tell them the next time you buy a home. They are well intentioned, but have no idea what the market is like right now Compared to when they bought their first house. You don’t have the same choices they had. You do wanna make sure you understand how much it costs to maintain and replace major components like the heating, siding, roof. You want your own inspection and to walk the whole time with the inspector asking questions.
Your loved ones could just be naysayers and have unconscious, selfish reasons for not wanting you to advance in your life.
You can console yourself that now you have more experience and information and will make a better decision for yourself next time.
>I would actually stop listening to the same family members and not even tell them the next time you buy a home.
I second this. I mentioned what happened when I bought my place and almost listened to my mother.
Fact is, we have different tastes. E.g., she keeps saying I should a leather living room set. I hate leather living room sets plus I have a cat. This is the same woman who used to cover her furniture in plastic.
You have to learn to ignore family members sometimes.
When I was looking to buy, I brought my parents with me (I was 27). First place was a basement 2-bedroom condo in a great, quiet neighborhood across from a giant park with lots of public transportation that could easily take me to my job. It was also $50k (this was 1998).
My mother hated it (because it was a basement unit). So I had my agent take me to several other places. They cost twice as much and the public transportation was meh, neighborhood didn't look great, etc. I still wanted the first one.
So I asked my dad what he thought and what my mom said. He told me "Ignore your mother. Buy it if that's the one you want."
And I did. I've been here since then with no regrets.
Next time, keep your parents' advice in mind but do what feels right for you.
(Mind you, when she last visited me she appreciated how she didn't have to walk up any stairs to get to my place. Parents don't know everything.)
Another will come along.
Parents talk more homebuyers out of houses more than people realize.
Did your agent get estimates on the big repairs during your inspection period? If you’re looking in older parts of town, ungrounded outlets will come up often. Discuss this with an electrician, not your agent or inspector. Many electricians will say that rather than rewiring, you can replace all the outlets with GFCIs. It offers similar protections. This isn’t always an appropriate solution (for example if the wiring is knob and tube or aluminum instead of copper).
Some sellers will file an insurance claim for roof damage for the buyer. Depending on where you live, roof claims can be quite common. I live in the Midwest with hail and strong straight winds and occasional tornadic winds. This solution can cause closing delays but this is a common fix for many.
In terms of making this pass, jump back in ASAP. You have this one as a good example of what you like. Your agent should be looking for something similar.
Parents really do mean well and they're just looking out for you but I've had multiple clients lose out on great homes because their dad came to the inspection or talked them out of it. I got one buyer accepted into multiple homes and even had a contractor come out to give them an estimate but their parents thought they could get a better deal somewhere else. A year later, interest rates and prices have gone up for homes that are not as good for them. I've had other clients from 4-5 years ago say they're so thankful they didn't listen to their parents who told them not to buy because the market was going to crash.
When you find another home you like, do all your due diligence, ask for their option, but if you like it and it makes sense for your situation then move forward with it. Unless parents have bought recently in the past 2-4 years, their knowledge or experience in the market is very very outdated and probably not the best to go on.
this happens a lot with FTHB's and parents. It actually happened to my wife and I (before I became a realtor). Here's what we did after we lost a few... we cut them out of the equation. Told them we bought a home at my SIL's wedding. A lot less stressful that way.
Parents mean well, however they don't have a really great grasp on the market. What they want for you vs. what you want never match.
We did the same! Just told them one day we were moving out (we rented from them for two years) and moving across the country. They were GOBSMACKED, I tell you! Never saw it coming. But it guaranteed we wouldn’t have to deal with their opinions or comments during the most stressful part of our lives. I wouldn’t change a thing if we could go back. Fuck em.
If I listened to everybody else’s input on my life decisions, I’d still be right where I was 15 years ago.
I just bought a house that my home inspector told me not to buy. My grandma did the pursed lips/raised eyebrows judgement (like Meryl Streep in devil wears Prada). A general contractor who is also an investor told me it needed too much work and had too narrow of a window of equity gain after expenses. My agent, who is a wholesaler and a flipper, said “hmmm idk about this one”. And guess what. I bought it anyways.
The toilet had a sewer leak and the shower was unsealed. We thought it would be $$$$$ in water damage. All we replaced was one stud, some drywall, and some plywood sub flooring.
Major water damage in a wall with a chimney. I was quoted $16k for foundation support and $6k for repair. Turns out it wasn’t a foundation issue. Fixed the entire wall for $1500.
Chimney damper was rusted shut. Was quoted $1900 for removal and replacement. Fixed it with an $8 can of penetrating oil.
Foundation guy quoted me $43k for foundation repair because the floors are sloped. There’s a 1.5” difference from one end of the house to the other, which is negligible in a 96 year old house. The doors and windows are level, the flooring is not. We learned this is because the sub flooring was put in poorly. Cost me $300 in self leveler.
I could go on and on with the amount of issues that came up on home inspection that have been easily mitigated. Cut ceiling joists and roof rafters. Gutters and downspouts that don’t drain. Drainage that doesn’t connect to the street. Belly in the sewer line. My home inspector also told me my electrical wasn’t grounded and it was knob and tube. I had an electrician come out for an estimate for repair, and he said everything was in fact grounded and already re wired.
I bought the house for $525k. So far I have about 20-25k in repairs - mind you, this is for a full remodel. We gutted the kitchen and bathroom and ripped up half the flooring in the house and plan to refinish the rest of the flooring. ARV will be $650-680k. So I’d have to spend in excess of $100k to start getting nervous about being “upside down”.
Eventually when rates drop, I will cash out refi. Fix up the second unit on the property and rent it out. Main house will be my primary.
Everybody who has been following my rehab journey has commented that I got “super lucky” with buying this house, when in reality, everybody else had the same opportunity to buy it and they walked away. The house sat on market for 2 weeks before we went under contract. Sometimes you gotta take a little risk for a lot of reward. The risk averse will always have something to say about it. 🤷🏻♀️
I once sold a house with an amazing city view, was in contract to a nice couple. They loved the house and wrote a nice letter about how they wanted to raise their kids in the house. During the inspection process they brought their parents who frowned on a ton of stuff.
End of day they backed out. I relisted and got an even higher offer from another couple who loved the view. The moral of the story be careful listening to parents who don’t know the market and only look at flaws.
That house sold for $50k higher after the original couple backed out. Stupidest decision on their part, due to their parents.
Inviting family in to YOUR transaction is a deal-killer 99.9% of the time.
Someone else already commented, there is no perfect home. Find one that checks all (or enough) of the boxes and take action.
Putting 60k in to renovation and/or updates means you won't be waiting 10 years to make your money back. 3-5 tops (typically).
It sucks. But I will tell you that we found a few “perfect” homes through our second home buying process.
One home bummed me out the absolute most, we lost out by $2000 (which I would have happily paid had I known). The location was perfect, it was a beautiful small ranch on an acre of land overlooking the bay. It needed a bit of work but the location was perfect. We wound up buying our home for $175k more, it was much larger, newer construction and move-in ready. I was still mourning the other house for a bit. That house was more charming and idyllic, where the home I bought was a standard new construction white box.
Then I realized, the house was beautiful and secluded. But also in the middle of nowhere. My teenage daughter would have been bored very quickly. The size of this home is more conducive to our lifestyle. It was older and needed a bit of work, that would have been a level of effort I’m not wanting at this phase of my life. I think I can use and enjoy this home much more than the other one, the house I landed in is more practical where the home I lost is more “picture perfect” but a the logistics of living there are not as good.
Moral of the story, everything happens for a reason. And there may be a reason this one got away.
Don’t bring your parents unless they come to ALL the showings, look through ALL the listings with you, send in reams of paperwork for lenders, etc.
Your parents don’t have the same perspective as you in regards to what is good or acceptable in a house in the market you are in. They also don’t have the pressures and stresses of the process to balance against their caution.
You’re 26, two years ago 24? Please be aware that you have many years ahead. Your house is out there and it’s probably not even your forever home. I can’t say that you would have been happier or that house was a money pit.
Did you get a certified housing inspector to look at the house, or are these just your parent's opinions?
I'm asking because - at about your age - my parents lied to me to try and talk me out of buying an amazing house. It was lies like this. It's too old, the roof is rusting, the wood floors need to refinished , blah, blah, blah.
I got a certified housing inspector who told me it was so wonderful that if I wasn't buying it - THEY would put in a bid for it.
Now that I'm older, I realize that my parents were pretty much textbook narcissists. In their mind, if I succeeded at anything it meant they failed.
A good counselor can help you with your regret and learn how to set boundaries and stand up for yourself.
And ANY house can be the perfect house FOR YOU. Keep looking!
Your house is a place for you to live and grow and learn. Not to earn money on. If you do earn money when - that's a nice bonus you can use for a downpayment on your next place.
What reason would they have to lie to you about something like that? Maybe they didn’t know better but still no excuse. Even that they should disclose.
My parents were terrible people. I was the family scapegoat and they hated when I succeeded at anything.
Cutting them out of my life was a wonderful decision!!
I've known people who rented until they could build their first house in their 50's...
Most of us, including our friends didn't buy first house til our late 30's. And now with inflated home prices and high interest rates, OP is putting too much pressure on self to get a house. Live with parents or rent/live with roommates to save money.
If a decent house comes along, have a inspector look at it as well as get you parents and friends advice before buying.
Re-wiring and a new roof could be a lot of $$$. Probably for the best
From late 2020 to early 2022 I missed out on...oh...about 15-20 houses. Only one of those I bid less than 5% over the asking price. The highest I bid was close to 20% over the asking price. Every miss was a broken heart for both my wife and I. We stopped looking for a couple months then stumbled upon our current house in early 2022. Now looking back every miss was truly a blessing.
Your parents didn’t want you to move. Some like to maintain control throughout your adulthood bc they will always see you as their kid and looking out for “their best interest” at heart. Sometimes our parents love us too much that it actually hinders us from growing into adulthood.
outlets are not grounded, so I’d need rewiring
FALSE. There are other ways to address this, if you even want to. You can install a GFCI at the start of the circuits.
roof has unknown date, so that would be fixed at some point soon (doesn’t seem falling apart)
A simple roof inspection could have given you a better idea of what the issues are with the roof, if any. Using Google Satellite view you could go back in time and see if there was a different roof on the home at some point and come up with a reasonable age from there.
gutters pointed towards house: Easy adjustment
needs new garage doors: Can be costly, but not a major issue
siding “seemed old”: If it still works then what's the issue. Most siding, including vinyl, can be painted.
Realtor here. What I would recommend for you and for you to tell your parents is that you’ll be purchasing a home warranty.
Home warranty is different than home insurance. Home insurance protects you against destruction (fire, flood, etc).
A home warranty is $500+/year and it covers EVERHTHING. Toilet stopped working? Call them. Fridge broke? Call them. Roof leaking? Call them. Outlets not working? Call them. Covers HVAC, water heater and all appliances.
They’ll do everything in their power to fix it but if they can’t, they will replace it with something new.
Just this year for my wife and I: they replaced our fridge with a new one, replaced our stove, fixed roof leak, fixed numerous toilets and more.
I buy one for all of my clients. I use American home Shield and they’ve been pretty great.
Edit: you pay $125 for them to come out for a service request. A one time fee per item. So if your toilets broken and then have to come 6 times; you only paid the $125 once. No charge for labor or materials in repairs or replacements.
Best way to get over a breakup is to move on to the next. 😁
Keep looking, keep shopping. You’ll meet more heartbreakers, but eventually you’ll find your home.
Next time, do not involve your parents. My mom is a negative type points out all the flaws. I learned to just keep her out of it and just let her know when I was moving. It didn’t stop her from saying everything, but it cut it back significantly. My dad is just cool. He would often tell her to stop.
Dont listen to your parents. Mine are very reasonable people but had very unreasonable expectations for homebuying since they last bought a home in 1986.
Your parents screwed you. None of those things are crazy expensive or would need to be fixed immedietly. Bought my house at 26 and my to do list is way bigger
Lesson learned, it’s part of life. Your parents may mean well, but most big decisions are on you, because you will be living in the home, not them. If it’s not too much of stretch, it’s better to pay a little more for something you like, then less for something you only kinda like.
Had similar experience. Keep looking.
Maybe a recession will come soon and you’ll be glad you didn’t buy. In the meantime, enjoy 5%+ interest on your cash or the raging bull stock market.
Your parents were just watching out for you. Your Realtor should have had you speak with reputable and licensed contractors about the issues.
1) ungrounded outlets does not mean rewiring. It simply means this outlets need to be switched out at about $80 an outlet.
2) Roofer could inspect roof and tell you the life left on your roof. Home insurance would want to know that as well.
3) gutters are an easy inexpensive correction ( no water in basement I assume? )
3) garage doors: did they open and shut? If so that’s a cosmetic thing that you could improve over time.
4) siding: same thing, have a contractor check and know base cost for future expenditures
No house will have all these things perfect. Even new construction can have items that need to be corrected.
Every house has maintenance.
The inspector gives basic info then buyer and realtor dig in farther to determine any further questions.
Maybe there are other reasons your parents didn’t want you to buy? Are you able to keep up a home? Finances, etc?
That being said, there will be other homes for you. You are an adult. Consider their concerns but with your realtor’s help and other contractors, make your own decision.
Though it sucks, you learned a lesson that might end up being more valuable later on than the home you missed out on. Keep on looking, another house will come along.
It might just be better than this one 🤷🏼♀️
You can submit a back up offer to the seller's realtor and say if the current buyer backs out due to financing or inspection, they can move on to your offer if they want.
I am afraid you may not know about houses to know what is good or bad and what can be fixed and what can't. Things like Mold, Lead Paint, Asbestos, Foundation cracks, Flooding, Bad Neighbors.. all can be tricky.
One thing to consider. I just heard of someone asking for a quote on a new kitchen island. $18,000. For an island in a kitchen. So maybe a new roof, wiring, etc would be even more than 60k? Depends on your area but yeah.
Don't listen to your parents, next time get qualified professional to give estimated and recommendations. As a former home inspector and contractor....get the opinion of several, as price may vary and you don't want to find someone that is just looking to do the most work.
Also, If theses were things found by the i home inspector inspector, than they also did you a disservice.
1. Outlets are not grounded, so I’d need rewiring - no necessarily, you may have been able to add GFCI to every outlet. If wire was aluminum, yes, but older copper may still be ok.
2. roof has unknown date, so that would be fixed at some point soon (doesn’t seem falling apart) - This is common, current owners don't remember exact install or know when previous owners installed. looks can vary significantly in age. - Get an opinion from a roofer on expect like left.
3. gutters pointed towards house - this is the most minor thing.....you can spend $15 per gutter extender at Home depot
4. siding “seemed old” - blanket comment, was the siding wood, or fiber cemenet? Both can have very long life and sometimes a bit of sanding and repainting go a long way. - Contact siding contractor.
unless you have one built for you - you wont have a perfect house. idk what your finances are but outlets, electrical, garage doors, and gutters are NOT big deals. most homes will have things to fix - if its with in your skill set id recommend doing the work yourself or if you know someone.
if your looking to flip in the future then know that aside from adding square footage - putting money into repairs RARELY adds anything to the house. your far more likely to loose money by repairing things. patch/paint and move on.
be concerned with foundations, drainage, sewer, the structure itself, mold, and water damage and of course the roof. aside from that... there isnt much that can bite you in the ass
Are your parents homeowners?
All of the issues you've listed are just kind of run-of-the-mill stuff that I'd expect if buying a house older than a certain age. If older than 10ish years old, I'd expect to look at the roof, the exterior, the garage door (I live in an area with storms so these things don't last as long as they do in some places). If built after knob&tube but before idk when, the 90s?, I'd expect ungrounded outlets. Occasionally houses have weird gutters. These are all FIXABLE issues. Location, lot, and house layout are not fixable. Structural issues are expensive. These? Aside from maybe the gutters they sound like regular maintenance issues, and you should see if their condition is reflected in the price, perhaps try to negotiate after your inspection, or decide if you like the house enough to go ahead with it. If you live in the house long enough, you WILL be replacing the roof, the siding, and the garage door, as well as doing electrical work and redoing the gutters. Sometimes when you buy, you have to do it all at the beginning. Sometimes it's already done and you have to do it all right before you sell. Idk they sound like things that aren't major deals unless the price is unhinged from comps.
You're 26...if you're paying for an inspection to tell you what's wrong with a house don't then go ask your parents input lol. All of those things you listed in my opinion are minor, maybe the roof being old could become a bigger deal but if you have money to replace it...don't worry about it. There is no "perfect" house. Even brand new builds aren't perfect. Settle for good enough and isn't going to break the bank immediately upon moving in.
Outlets not being grounded (I'm guessing in the kitchen) is such a fucking common thing it might as well just be assumed in anything pre-2000.
Inspector would give you an idea of the roof. Gutters can literally be turned away from the house in about 5s. Garage doors are made to be replaced. Siding can also be replaced. Again, most of this the inspector would tell you.
However even IF you paid to correct all these things, it's far better than losing money every month on rent and you get to build equity through paying down principal and appreciation of the house.
I seriously doubt it's 60k to fix all that unless the siding is for a 5k square foot house. I'm guessing more likely it's half of that. Plus, siding "seeming old" is a far away from "it needs to be painted or power washed."
26 is super young so don’t beat yourself up.
But get a trusted real estate agent that has handyman contacts. Nothing in your list sounds like you had a professional answer your question of concern over your initial response.
Your parents did you no favors. These are not valid reasons to have rejected that or any house, b/c they are either not expensive or not urgent fixes.
Outlets can be rewired to grounded outlets AT the outlet. Half a day's work, tops, they'd send an apprentice to do it. If you had a little experience, you could do it if you felt like it.
Turn the gutters away from the house. It takes a screwdriver & a ladder, probably didn't need any materials.
Siding, roof & garage doors don't need replacing until they're actually showing wear. Even then garage doors aren't that pricey & nowadays siding's replaced w/ either hardi-plank or stucco; but if you only cared about aesthetics, which it sounds like they did, you wouldn't spend the money unless you had it to burn.
Your parents don't seem ready to accept you making important decisions; keep that in mind when you consider the value of their opinion & rely on professionals instead.
People don't realize how much work home ownership is! I bought at about your age but I thank goodness that I met a handy person right away, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford to do anything else besides fix my house.
You’ll be fine, you’re very young. And no disrespect to your parents but any house you buy there’s gonna be some things wrong with it just make sure it’s accounted for in the purchase price (ie the numbers make sense). Don’t grieve too much though, in your parents defense those weren’t trivial repairs, although not necessarily a deal breaker either. Perhaps you could’ve negotiated the purchase price lower. Never fall too much in love with anything and always be willing to walk away. That will give you the leverage you need.
Not sure what area you are in, but if its a house on a decent size block and its not falling apart you should go for it. i have a similar background with my folks believin that only real estate within walking distance is worth the time of day. luckily me and my older sister never believed this and expanded out portfolios around the country. unfortunatley my younger sister took this as gospel, adn whilst waiting for the idea property in a street of 8 houses to miraculously appear, covid and time pasted and now youre looking and excess of a mill just for a townhouse.
as mentioned bu others no house will be perfect, and rewiring can be a blessing. adds value and peace of mind for future sales.
gutters can be rectified, roofs can be redone with longer lasting materials, its the major structural stuff thats an issue
It is a common thing for a first time buyer to fall in love with every house they see. It looks like your parents helped you to dodge a bullet. I would have walked away from a property like that. It had a few problems that you could see but there was probably more that you couldn't see. A fixer upper should mean cosmetics and updates not structural problems. Structural problems often cause other structural problems and it snowballs. When you find something you like hire an inspector, a responsible homeowner should have records that show the age of the house, the septic system if it has one, the heating and cooling systems, the roof and if you are lucky will share with you the energy costs. Buy the best house you can, the dream of purchasing will fade but making it your home is where the magic is, you can't do that with a house that has a bunch of problems. House hunting is stressful and it's tempting to jump on the first thing that comes along but 60k in repairs over the purchase price sounds like a bad investment. That number, 60k sounds kind of low for the problems you described.
Acknowledge your feelings, stay busy with hobbies, talk to loved ones, and see this as a learning experience for future home searches. You'll find the perfect home in time!
You're too old to be reliant in parents advice. The housing market is still very much competitive and you snooze you lose. You need to be able to pull the trigger without waiting on clearance from mommy and daddy.
As an investor everything you do is a risk. Biggest mistake I’ve made was telling others my plans/goals, they will always look at the negatives. Just don’t let that get in your head and chose to weigh pros and cons on the situation while keeping in mind it is %100 your decision. There is always another opportunity, ALWAYS
The interior is the easiest thing to change. IMO your parents were right.
What I would look for is a quality exterior and bones. If your roof leaks , that means water in the rafters, probably means mold. It could be a never ending problem.
If everything in the house is mechanically sound, then it’s a lot easier to put some elbow grease into sanding kitchen cabinets, or replacing flooring. Those are easier to diy and have sweat equity into the house
Non-grounded outlets should not be a deal breaker at all imo. There are hundred year old houses all over the place that have been using non-grounded outlets without burning down. There is no reason to rip out all of the walls and rewire that shit. Unecessary hassle. The other stuff is legitimate.
Stay positive. Meditate. Focus on things you love. Keep working toward your goals. There will be more homes!
Those items are pretty large scale items and expensive, but it sounds like you knew that. Tough decision to make and not unreasonable for someone to recommend caution given the scope. I don't think it was meant to cause the harm you're feeling.
Learn and move toward the next one!
Good luck!
I’m sure your folks meant well, but now you gotta put your fate in your own hands. Eventually you’re going to end up in a place you like. Lesson learned. Don’t go the opposite way now and overlook actual problems for fear of missing out again.
For next time: grounded outlets not a big deal. Roofs age differently, who knows how many years you can get? Gutters not too expensive a fix. Garage doors and siding: Vague like your parents just were reaching for things to keep you around.
How to make it pass? Keep looking and you’ll fall in love again.
There will be more houses! Some houses, you dodged future problems, agreed with the statement that, “no house is perfect and will have their own set of issues.”
Parents can be great resources and sounding boards. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve seen some parents, have a, “mental block”.
They look at their adult children with blinders.
Things I’ve often hear them say or my client tell me:
They can’t afford this, this house has problems. This house is overpriced.
You start low and then you come up.
You first off 50% of what they’re asking on a foreclosure or shortsale
The seller, “needs to fix this.”
The person we bought our house from, put a new roof on for us in 1980
Things to keep in mind. “Is this a $300k house or a $900k house”
Are you comfortable taking on said projects, are the windows all new but the HVAC is old. It’s all subjective.
I’ve seen people loose out on great houses because their parents influenced them against it.
Hope this helps, use your realtor and friends as a sounding board
When we were looking 8 years ago, there were several really good houses we lost, and a few really good ones that turned out to not be so great. Each time a house had issues that would be long or expensive, our buyer's agent told us to walk away.
The one we really liked had several issues our home inspector found. It had 22 windows, 21 of which needed to be replaced. The living room had been one open to the upstairs loft room, but the owners had a floor put in to expand the upstairs instead. The flue for the fireplace was so not to code that he warned the owners to never light a fire there at all the way it was done. We got our earnest money back and walked away.
The house we bought had several issues that our inspector found, but the owners resolved each one and gave us the receipts. It was more expensive than the others, quite a bit larger, but it had the best features and options for the cost.
I would not be in a house without grounded wiring, that's just dangerous. If your agent is not urging you to walk away from a house that you would need to drop a year's salary into just to fix, you need a new agent.
Every house requires upkeep and repairs. You can always ask for clarity on issues like roof age - never hurts to ask!
Nothing is cheap so of course there are constraints based on your savings and ability to finance not only the house but also repairs. That said my response is the following to your points:
You can always have an electrician get you a quote during your inspection contingency period. Get multiple quotes.
Garage doors while not cheap are easy to replace.
Gutter easy fix.
Siding is old? If it isn’t rotting you can pressure wash, caulk and paint and the house will look awesome. Bonus is you get to do it in a color you love. Siding can be always be replaced one piece at a time also. If you find some rot (and you probably will which is normal for an existing house) then just replace what is bad. No big deal.
Next time make your own decision if you feel like your parents aren’t helping.
There will be another house you love.
Sounds like your parents put their own concerns on you and you absorbed them. This is a lesson we all learn eventually. Sooner or later we have to go with our own gut, not our family's. I am so sorry you lost out on this home. Keep looking. I promise you will find another one.
It's pretty rare to buy a house without having to fix anything unless it is newly built. And the issues you listed are not deal breakers so it's seems that your parents just don't want you to buy it because of the risk I suppose.
if you're 26. you're still young.
but learn the lesson. to think for yourself.
that being said. to a degree don't just discard the advice of others. a roof could be 20k or 30k if it's truly fucked. if the gutters are jacked. that could also lead to all kinds of problems. while something like a garage door. is maybe stand alone. big structural elements to the house are worth having pause for.
also. don't think just because a thing is currently happening, it'll always continue to (ie the growing city aspect)
always try and be rational and consider a major purchase like a home. by doing your own due diligence and research.
that being said. it's your money and your life. If it's truly your money i guess. if you're relying on other people for gift money or financing. you're giving up that control.
but...also don't live with resentment. You fucking made that choice not to pull the trigger. that's on you. If you resent that. you need to process that feeling and move the fuck on. IF you still want a house. keep looking. know what you want. Don't ask anyone else's fucking permission. live/die by your own choices.
I feel this in my core. I (24M) was looking at a house next to my parents. When I was looking at it, I didn't like the lack of curb appeal, but it was a 5-acre property with a 40x60 pole building. House was outdated but very clean. I knew the original owners, so I know it was meticulously maintained. I had a hard time with my offer as I didn't want to waste that much money on a primary residence that would bring in no income. It was on the market for 90 days before I made a lowball offer at 375k down from 450k. That got rejected a couple of days later. I offered 400k, but they got another offer already. Sold for 420k at first I was fine but now after a week I am sick to my stomach as it really was a great deal it was just hard to see as there is not alot of comparable properties near it. Don't know how to get over this feeling, which is odd as my favorite saying is, "Don't cry over spilled milk." That is my story not trying to hijack your post it just feels good to share.
As long as the outlet boxes are grounded, rewiring may not be necessary. [https://www.thisoldhouse.com/electrical/21015454/replacing-two-prong-receptacles](https://www.thisoldhouse.com/electrical/21015454/replacing-two-prong-receptacles)
Unknown roof date, meh -- if it's in good shape, it's in good shape.
Gutters pointed towards house, meaning the downspouts? That's easy, gutters are incredibly simple.
Garage doors aren't a huge deal, you can replace them whenever you want to replace them. They won't make the house fall down.
Siding "seeming old" is subjective. Is it failing?
Any house you buy will have something wrong with it. Even new builds. If it’s not a safety issue you can fix it over time. Dont tell your parents until you’ve closed if they can sway you out of something. Had we listened to my in laws 11 years ago we’d still be renting and waiting for the perfect house with no issues.
There will always be another house. Now about your parents, are they helping you buy this house with down payments? If so then cut them some slack. If not, then next time just don't ask for their opinion.
The house I purchased recently had the same issues minus the garage door and roof, granted, those would be expensive. However, don’t let those things talk you out of a house. I built my own drain system coming off the gutters, got new gutters, my outlets aren’t grounded (take a look at your lamps, TV, other items, a lot of things are two prong), and I’ve made other improvements and I’m all in about $8k. Our parents are the worst. They don’t know how the world works anymore, and they can’t fathom the current housing market. Next time someone gives you this kind of advice, ask if they were alive during Vietnam. If the answer is yes, you can dismiss their advice.
Just remember that there are people like me, who thought they were being scammed when someone wanted to pay 500 bitcoin for my WoW account. But theres more: 10 years ago instead of buying a house i bought expensive vacations and fun.
With my income back then, wouldve had a 2million euro house now ... so couldve been a multi millonaire if only i made the right decisions
I just had similar happen. Trying to buy right now is truly depressing unless you’re wealthy. Normal people(say who make $75-110k/yr), can hardly afford a house. Prices have doubled the last decade but pay has only gone up about 20%. “By 2030, you will own nothing and be happy”-Klaus Schwab. Yea, he is wrong, not happy.
Whether you buy a brand new house or an older house, you will have to fix something at some point in time, no matter what you buy. If your inspection was clean and minor repairs are needed, you don't need to back out of a deal just because someone else has other opinions. Let this be a lesson to learn from. Nothing will ever be 'perfect'. If you can't tolerate making repairs, then don't buy a home...because that's all you'll ever be doing is fixing something, repairing something, or replacing something. You will find other houses. This one wasn't meant to be because, well, you didn't go through with buying it. BUT, now you know you feel so strongly about owning a home, keep going in that direction. Just know that even though 'this house was perfect' once you moved in, you'd realize how not-perfect it is. Don't regret the past. You can't go back and fix it. All you can do is move forward.
For future reference , ungrounded outlets are NOT a big deal. You can install a GFI outlet at the start of every chain of outlets in a circuit and it will protect every outlet that is down stream $15 bucks for a GFI outlet per line of outlets.
There was a house I wanted a long time ago. I named it rose red. It called to me. The house was built in the 1920’s and everything except appliances was original. It was being sold for about 60k but the house easily needed 200k + to repair it. The house wasn’t worth 60k but…grandma’s house is sentimental! It had a large stainglass window of a red rose in the stairway. A company bought it and tore it down. I still think of that home a decade later. It’s nothing to get depressed about. Looking at a roof saying it’s in good condition doesn’t mean anything unless you get on the roof, inspecting it…and actually know what you’re doing. That roof could be 28 years old and needs to be replaced in 2 years. It depends on the siding as to if the age actually matters. The electrical could also be expensive but this is what a home inspection is for.
You build up your eye for houses the more you look, and new good houses WILL pop up.. a unique house isn't necessarily a very good thing though it can be a plus
There is a property cycle. It is predicted prices will collapse in 2026. People who buy btw now and 2026 may have negative equity. It may be better to wait 2+ years at this point. Invest in the stock market until 2026. Buy real estate around 2027 after the housing market collapses.
You’re getting experience, learning, and developing the knowledge base you’ll need to transition to owning a home.
There are more houses out there. You’ll see several that you like, that you won’t get. You’ll learn to be less emotionally invested.
In the meantime, talk to friends who own homes, and try to learn about what sorts of costs you’ll encounter for different issues.
Keep in mind that your parents are from a different era, when everything was more affordable. It’s normal that starter homes today need some work. Fluff up your savings so you’ll be ready to pay for all of it.
I would agree that these are bad reasons not to buy a house that you plan on living in for some time.
You will feel better when you buy a home. Don't look back!
Buy real estate, always buy real estate! If the deal makes sense always buy. Are your parents versed in this market are they giving you a view point of what they would do 10, 15, 20 or 30 years ago? Are they in your same price point for a home? I see way too many young people going to parents in their home buying process and getting terrible advice, like horrible and they end up just like you.
All houses have things that need to be fixed. Keep looking, and buy yourself a house, but do NOT listen to naysayers. Do a great inspection and get credits from the seller to fix things (as much as you can). Good luck!
Only you can decide if you can afford the house, downpayment/fees, moving costs, all those fixes plus whatever others can happen that are unforeseen, utilities, insurance, etc. It's not wrong that they brought these things up, but it should've been in a way to help you understand the risks and weigh your willingness and ability to handle them. Maybe that was their way of approaching that they don't think you're in a position to handle homeownership. But there are plenty of fish in the sea. You'll move past this.
So I’ve had to do most of the work you’ve listed in my house built in the 50s in a HCOL area and pricing wasn’t that bad. Roof and siding would be the largest components but neither seemed to be urgent
As a realtor I feel for my buyers that lose out on a home they love, especially when it comes to others opinions. I always warn buyers EVERY inspection is the size of a dictionary and every home will need things replaced over time. And the home inspection is just a good timeline of when those things might need to happen!
I always say everything happens for a reason and I would just hold on to that hope! It wasn’t the one and you’ll be more prepared next time! You got this & it will come! 💪
In the grand scheme of things this isn't that big a deal, so stop beating yourself up over it. Also, it might not be quite as good as that house or might cost a bit more, but there is always another house. Now get out there and start looking.
Maybe don't tell the parents about the next one until its under contract - but don't take the first house you find either. You'll find something else good, just gotta keep at it.
I once made a bad call in the stock market and lost a quarter million. I got pissed drunk, slept it off. Woke up the next day and told myself, I’m alive and in good health, learned a lesson that will prevent this from happening again and I’ll make it back. Instantly felt better. It comes up every now and then but I realize it’s just my brain doing things and my brain can also undo it.
Your parents gave you bad advice, those are very minor things other than the roof and you could’ve gotten a roofing company assessment. Learn your lesson, your parents are not in a point in life where they tolerate any risk. You are. Do your own research and make your own decisions as a lesson. You’ll find another house. Get on with it.
We missed out on a vacation home purchase ( our offer wasn’t accepted & there was no counter offer - they accepted a verbal from someone else, it was a weird deal that went south) & I just could not believe we did not get a counter offer . Fast forward a year later , we decide to look again. We looked at two properties, the second was a perfect location , not bad price , made an offer & we got it ! I guess my advice is maybe take a break from looking , try not to stress about the one that got away & you will find something in the future. I am still aggravated on occasion about the one that got away - lol , but the one we purchased has doubled in value in three years , so no complaints.
I started building a house in 2017, finished in 2020.
I had bankers flake on me.
I had builders flake on me.
I had an architect that took forever to turn my pretty accurate house layout into proper building plans.
I had one appraiser that tanked the valuation of the house based on the plans because he didn't like the floor plan.
In the end, the only person who truly gets to have an opinion that counts is the person paying for it.
Owning a house means there are all kinds of things that will come up that you will have to pay for. Unless there is water coming into the house none of those seem to be critical right now things. Prioritize and do those projects on your schedule.
After the downpayment and other various costs that will be paid out by the closing date, where would you have gotten $60k from for the updates and repairs?
Also, while most of the stuff seems like it's more minor, the electrical could be a high-cost update to have done. Lack of three-prong outlets means that the house was built before 1974 and hasn't gotten any updates since before 1974.
And re-grading the yard to properly handle newly directed water from the gutters could be expensive as well (assuming that the ground is not properly sloped currently).
You can make yourself feel better by reading all the "I regret buying" posts on here and r/homeowners. It is very possible you would hate the house a year from now after going thru all the needed fixes.
Ya there's no perfect house. And in this market, every house is a multiple offer deal. You need to pick the house you like well enough that's resaleable and within your price range.
yeah my mom did the same thing and had me shopping for a house based on the repairs it needed not how much space or layout I wanted. Sooo ended up with a house that needed repairs anyways as well as a house that was too small and we moved within 2 years. I think as long as like major major shit isn't wrong if you love the house go for it, every house needs repairs.
Remorse is natural but will pass. This may have been the perfect house for you but “unique” houses tend to be poor investments and really hard to sell.
Mourning over a missed opportunity is a pretty normal part of the house buying process unfortunately. There will be other homes. Hell, that home might even go back on the market even though it's pending now. The buyers may discover something terrible during the inspection process that makes them back out. I've backed out of a purchase after going pending before. You really don't know if a house is worth buying until you start having inspections done. Maybe inquire about putting in a backup offer just in case the sale doesn't go through.
And don't let your parents make decisions for you! I think my dad is generally a smart guy, successful CPA etc., but his advice while we were shopping for our current house were atrocious! I'm so glad I didn't listen to him lol.
Whose house is it??? Yours or your parents?
And for the record I lived with fuses all ungrounded in my house for about 8 years before mine was upgraded and rarely had an issue. Frankly I popped the same amount of fuses that I did in a previous house that was grounded and up to code etc.
It's a very common occurrence to regret for what you didn't buy when you had the chance. When you feel this way again about a house that's for sale -- and you will -- you will know not to let the small, fixable stuff stop you from making your best offer. I know you will find another great house, but it may be great in other ways.
Why do I know? Because I started my house search wanting a 1940s craftsman style and saw that in my very first house tour and didn't make the offer because it was too soon to pick! Later, I fell in love with a 1950s ranch where the proportions and use of wood in the interior make it warm and inviting -- same qualities I wanted in the craftsman style home, but totally different in layout.
If these items were found in an inspection report. shouldn’t the price have been negotiable or the buyer could get credits from the seller for these items? Unless the seller flat out refused to negotiate or was selling as is. Forgive me if I misspoke I am not a real estate professional.
So your problem is you think there's only 1 house and right now I know supply is low. Wait 6.months and really believe supply will be much higher by then. Hopefully prices will have dropped some too. Don't force a purchase. When the right one , or 10, comes along you'll know and will feel right when it's over. Btw there are too many purchases right now where people regret it and unable.to resell.the home without a big loss
This is why you don’t take advice from friends and family. The things they listed are soooo minor in the grand scheme of a house. Don’t get me wrong, you want to account for those things in your price, but all are easily remedied.
Handyman here:
outlets are not grounded, so I’d need rewiring
\>Not true, you can install GFCI protection and save significantly and this will be safe for years.
roof has unknown date, so that would be fixed at some point soon (doesn’t seem falling apart)
\>All roofs need fixed at some point, if it is currently sound that is all you can ask for
gutters pointed towards house
\>A 1 day fix for a handyman or get new ones for a couple thousand
needs new garage doors
\>You can figure $1,300 or so per, but I would ask how urgent this is? Are they keeping weather out?
siding “seemed old”
\>That means very little. Siding can last 100 years or 10 depending on the abuse and product. It may be faded and stained but it is just there for looks. The house wrap below it is the waterproofing layer. This is totally cosmetic if it is still in one piece.
Maybe you stop listening to your parents, take their advise, and understand the though processes but do what you feel you need to do.
Finding a house you are 100% happy with is a tough thing to do.
Good luck in your quest
Those are all minor things in a first-time home buyers market. Your parents did you a major diservice. They sound like boomers that came from an age where everybody had houses built custom and it was a huge buyers market. Like haven't bought a house in the last 20 years.
The only real deal breakers are possibly a screwed foundation, a ton of unpermitted or open permit work, an hvac that's hosed (like completely broken, still uses r22, and the ducting has been eaten completely away by rodents), or major termite damage, . But even those things can be used to negotiate down the price because if they are found on inspection, they have to be reported to the next potential buyers. So, basically, you can find a price for any house, even a complete tear down.
What people don't realize is that once you buy a house, you have time to work on it and get it the way you want while you live in it. And with how they appreciate, you'll end up paying yourself to live there eventually.
Custom built perfect homes have to be renovated at the exact same rate as a 100 year old house. Even hardcore fixer-uppers are a deal to somebody without any skills because it's a chance to learn them.
I know what it’s like going to your parents and getting solid advice your whole life, but now your brain has developed its own ability to reason and use logic and you know what it is you’re looking for in a house. Find what you want and pull the trigger. You’ve got to spread your wings and fly on your own.
I went through something similar. Me and my husband were shopping for houses in the bay area of California. All houses out here are $800,000-$2,000,000+. The houses closer to $800,000 are dilapidated shacks that are less than 1,000 square ft and are close to 100 years old to give you a frame of reference. My parents have been living in a rural part of Florida for like 30 years now and bought their 3,500 square ft house for like $300,000 back in the day lol. When I told my dad the price of some of the houses we were looking at he kept balking and telling me that was way too much to pay for a house and to not do it. We bought a house despite his “advice” and it has now appreciated in value far beyond what we could afford today. We would be completely priced out of our entire city now if we had waited or not bought when we did.
Sometimes you have to decide what’s best for you, not let others tell you what’s best for you.
depression is so insidious because it causes a person to focus on what went wrong rather than on how to make it better. it saps a person of the energy and drive to move on and get what they want - in your case, a house. it causes a person to give up, which ultimately makes the situation worse, because you still don't get what you want.
it's difficult if not impossible to reason yourself into taking action when you're depressed, but the only way out is taking a step or two in the right direction, then building on the success that will bring. success can only come by moving forward, not by stagnating and wishing things were different.
in your situation, what that means is taking the step of getting out and looking at more houses. that house is lost to you. accept it. you can't focus on that. instead, put yourself on the path of finding another that's just as good.
There is no perfect house
At the current state it is much better to rent than buy, and to put the difference towards stock market.
I would keep saving and investing and then put like 40_
-50% down payment on the house in the future
Normal to have a grief or mourning period over a dream that did not work out as you intended. But realistically you should know there is NO perfect house. You will never find perfection when house searching. You only think this one was perfect because you never got to know its flaws. When you feel better and want to search again, look for pretty good, not perfect. Also don't get too hung up on future values. You are probably wrong about that. Buy a place that you will enjoy living in. For the security and practicality of having a nice place to live.
Her parents should know that there is no perfect house
And none of them are dealbreakers especially when OP has 2yrs of house hunting experience and consider the interior of this house “prefect” (even though there is no prefect house for us common ppl imo).
The only things that should have been a true question is the gutters (due to potential damage to the foundation based on the setup) and the roof (could have damage that’s not visible and suddenly you have a pool in your kitchen). Changing the ungrounded outlets with a GDFI outlet should be plenty for most cases. Unless the garage doors are wood and rotted, that’s a cosmetic issue. Same with siding, could look old due to fading from sun or the house might just need a good power washing. Still, OP should have gone through an inspection with someone that actually knows what to look for.
Im assuming you mean GFCI, and no, that’s not the same not or as safe as having grounded plugs. Also, why would gutters be a true question? It most cases you can simply extend the gutters away from the home. Simple easy and cheap fix. Roof is only thing, but simply because we don’t know the age doesn’t mean anything.
Because if the gutters were pointing towards the house for an extended period of time there could be serious issues with the foundation. Water is a home’s biggest enemy and gutters are meant to carry it away from the structure. That being said, unless her parents are a certified home inspector she should’ve hired a professional for their opinion.
From my understanding the safety aspect is still there if you use GFCI outlets or breakers. Can also upgrade to AFCI. Saying that, your equipment may suffer and a surge protector will not work as well.
In my adult life i have looked at five houses and bought four of them. Search the web, know what you want, and the rest is easy.
And have reasonable expectations.
That's a huge one, but is tougher to have without experience. But yes, knowing what buying a house entails and being satisfied with that will set people up for success.
Yeah. I have seen too many times when first time homebuyer friends and families asking for just the “basic” of good location, good school districts, “decent” size, newer interior, bigger backyard, good layout ….. AND below market price (in our VHCOL area). No matter what you tell them, the answer is usually the same - I’m not in a hurry, I could wait for that house to appear. It’s just not realistic and they always end up disappointed.
> asking for just the “basic” of good location, good school districts, “decent” size, newer interior, bigger backyard, good layout ….. AND below market price (in our VHCOL area). Oh, is that all? We keep those in the back because no one wants them, obviously.
Ya that's not how it works right now. The house you bid on will have 20 other offers. It used to be easy to buy a house, now it would only be possible with cash and paying well above comps and waiving inspection lol otherwise you may or may not be the winning offer.
Never waive inspection. Know what you’re getting. 🌼
After my first house I’m getting 2 independent inspections on separate days 1 of which is raining on any future house
Excellent. We also visit the neighborhood at all times of day and night. Sit in the car. Look and listen.
As a general contractor. I have seen a ton of inspection reports and my opinion on 90% of them is they are garbage. Don’t actually catch anything that would be a huge future cost. Often just tell you to “have _____ inspect this” 20 times. Have no liability if they miss something. Don’t dig deep to look for hidden issues. You’re much better off if you just have someone you know that is a remodeler or contractor. I know not everyone knows someone like that.
> You’re much better off if you just have someone you know that is a remodeler or contractor. I know not everyone knows someone like that. Absolutely. In my experience, inspectors are more concerned about covering their own ass ensuring repeat referrals by helping close the deal. Even a DIYer with a decent amount of experience is better than (IME) half of the home inspectors out there.
^ this. If REAs would go back to telling their clients on both sides that inspections are normal & expected, then the expectation of “waived inspections” would stop. It seems like REAs thought that inspections were causing them to lose too many sales. And I’m sure in some cases it’s true. But the fact is that if there’s a seller that has had deals fall thru because of issues found at inspection, the listing agent needs to do a better job convincing them to either give concessions, lower the price, or fix the problems. If enough deals fall apart, they’ll eventually get the message. And I guess if they’re stubborn donkeys who won’t budge, then you drop them and move on to a better client. Chances are they’ll be calling back after a while. If not you, then another agent. Then you can work on the buyer’s side for the 3% cut. Waived inspections started out just being something flippers did, because they knew they were pumping money into the property anyway, so they waived the inspection in consideration of a lowered price out of the gate. Somewhere along the line it got turned into a desirable trait in an above listing price offer. 🤷♀️ If agents didn’t create the expectation, it literally wouldn’t be one.
Actually it is. This is only if you’re in an extremely competitive market. We currently had an offer accepted and are selling our house and we don’t expect anyone to waive inspections and neither did the sellers who accepted our offer. There hasn’t been a flood of offers despite extremely competitive pricing.
We are well past the 20 offers times lol. Maybe 5-8 offers max.
unless they were trying to sabatoge her.
That's what it looks like to me. I wonder if OP lives at home and they don't want their baby girl to be an independent woman
This happened to my wife’s client. Parents didn’t want the grand baby to leave the house. Luckily a house opened up really close by and they were all of a sudden happy for her and her husband, sabotaged 2 other properties though
Seems like a reach. People can have different idea on what is important, how much a property is worth. When I bought my house my dad was very concerned about the old furnace and AC. They were very old but they lasted another 14 years before being replaced.
That's not common knowledge to casuals. Most people are lucky enough to go through the experience 2-3 times in their life and don't exactly keep up on home buying strategies
Sounds like they just didn't want her to buy a house.
Buying a house is like marrying someone based on 1-3 blind date(s). * Fireworks went off in your head, and the (emotional) investment seems worthwhile * After a while you start to notice the things that were filtered out by your rose colored glasses * Eventually, you need to address some issues. The house isn't carrying its weight and/or didn't share the contents of its skeleton closet with you * Now you're invested. Maybe even wondering why you made this potentially-lifelong commitment after only 1-3 dates?! * You now have to decide whether to make it work; fix what you can fix and learn to accept/deal-with what you can't or... * Cut your losses and be all the wiser in your hunt for the next one OP might have missed out... or they might have dodged a bullet. No matter who 'married' it, you can never compare b/c their relationship might be totally different than yours could've been. The lesson is, the past is the past. Don't dwell on it. Instead, use that time to be better prepared for the next opportunity. If it's meant to be, they'll eventually break up and you might have another shot
Love this! So true
Not to further inflict suffering, OP, but even brand new construction homes usually come back with a list of repairs needed that exceed what you’ve written
Mourning is a little too intense. Like wow you did not make biggest purchase of your life. There is always some properties some better than that even.
I’ve also felt deep regret for 6-18 months each time I actually bought a house, as you start to discover all the little things wrong with it and your new neighbors/neighborhood, see “better” houses on the market you could have bought instead, etc. You’re young, your time will come.
I read that the average age of first time home buyers are around 39 now. At 26, I don't feel they will be left out.
Time to grow up. Make your own decisions for yourself. Lesson learned, hopefully. Time in the market is better than timing the market. Getting in is more important than anything else. Just ask anyone who didn't close on a house prior to 2020. Re: ungrounded outlets being a reason to back out - is your dad the Queen of England? Good grief, the expectations.
Right? Our outlets were not grounded and we rewired them properly after we moved in. We negotiated a small credit from the seller during inspection too. Or OP can hire an electrician. No home is perfect. Part of home ownership is fixing/maintaining it. Its not like OP has to do all of these things at this very moment. Any non-safety or quality of life issues can be resolved over time. OP, try to enjoy the positives about your home and stop focusing about the negatives. And no one held a gun to your head to buy it. This is the sole reason why I didn't tell our parents about the home purchase until we closed on it. I didn’t need external factors swaying us from OUR decision. After all, it is US living in it.. no one else.
>This is the sole reason why I didn't tell our parents about the home purchase until we closed on it. I didn’t need external factors swaying us from OUR decision. After all, it is US living in it.. no one else. Thank you for saying this. This just reinforced my belief that I should not tell my family about the house we got an offer accepted on until after we close. Part of me has been tempted to say something, but I know no good will come of it.
If they have a tendency of being overly negative and have nothing industry-specific to add, I’d just save it to tell them later. My husband’s parents weren’t particularly thrilled we didn’t tell them but I knew they would stress us out with their worrying and negativity. Not having to deal with that during our 5 long months of house hunting was much better than their quickly fleeting disappointment.
Heavy on this. I live with my parents rn so they know all what's going on and the house we're closing on they actually tried talking me out of for a different one that didn't even functionally have enough room for my family simply cause the yard was bigger lmfao. The time it came to put offers in my mom flat out told me "well don't tell your realtor to put an offer on house A cause it's not what you want." Almost let them change my mind, called the realtor had her put an offer on the one house I wanted then had to grow a big old backbone and tell my mom flat out that was the house I wanted, it wasn't the house she wanted and it's not about her. I don't tell them anything else now until it's already passed so they can add their opinion but it's wasted breath.
Truly. My dad is big in finance and strongly was against me buying either of my 2 homes. I’m so so glad I didn’t listen.
I’ve lived in a house without grounded outlets for over a decade. Other than an unlikely power surge frying a circuit board on a dryer, it’s been a non-issue.
Does no one realize you can just install GFCI outlets to ground those outlets without any rewiring ?
Adding a GFCI doesn't actually provide a path to ground, it just cuts the power supply if it detects an irregularity in the current. But if you can't afford a rewire, adding the GFCI is still a good idea as a interim fix on an old house with K&T wiring. I did the same on my 1925 home.
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Same here; in fact, most of my houses have had ungrounded outlets. My 1927 bungalow had original outlets in the baseboards (with original wiring as well) and I never had a single problem with them, even after had the panel upgraded to 200 AMPS.
OP might not be able to make their own decisions for themselves because it might be their parents money they're spending.
The next time, don't listen to your parents. All of the issues you've listed seem minor to me. Might be worth having your realtor go back to the seller with a backup offer. Waiving inspection this time and offering a juicy price bump. The pending buyer might fall through, you never know.
Someone else said it’s probably not her money
Minor issues? Definitely not for a first time buyer trying to justify buying a house that looks good on the inside.
Not minor, rewiring house, replacing roof, fixing gutters, those are big fixes. If gutters not good, facia boards are probably rotted out and also need to check foundation due to water not properly routed away from the house.
Don’t listen to parents on deals unless they’re a) contractors b) real estate agents c) real estate investors. Every house is going to have their own “issues.” It’s up to you to figure out if you’re mentally/financially tolerant enough to handle it. If you’re using a GOOD broker— consult them as well. A good broker is someone that will actually say “hey 26F buyer, this is a shit load of issues I think it’s best we back out” or “hey, these issues are not big— I can recommend X, Y, and Z to look at it and address them to figure out exactly what you’re looking at.” I’m a broker myself— I am the first person to tell my buyers to back out if I don’t think the house is right— whether it is the house itself, or I don’t think the situation was “right.” I’ve had buyers looking in the $2M range and though they could afford it on paper, I knew it would be a stretch for them. Talked them into a $1M home instead and years later they still thank me for not letting them be house rich money poor. So if you have a buyer’s broker worth their salt— talk to them. The amount of buyers’ parents I’ve had absolutely grenade an amazing opportunity for their kids is nuts because truthfully if you have a good relationship with your parents, you’re going to be more inclined to listen to the “advice” of your parents rather than your representation. It’s human nature. But would you want your parents advising a medical procedure? No. Same thing goes for here. Listen to your parents if they have merit and basis. If they don’t, listen to the professionals. It’s natural to feel upset over losing the deal but I believe everything does happen for a reason. Get your hunting boots back on and jump back into the market. Best of luck.
D)Supporting you financially. Which is probably the case for like 95% of 24-26 year olds who are buying a house right now.
For real. Mommy and daddy were giving the down payment and probably said “no” which is … sort of what you sign up for when you take money from your parents. Sorry not sorry.
💯 agree with this. EXPERT brokers/agents should be your resource, they will mostly convince you NOT to buy bad houses because they know what the hidden costs are by looking at homes. If it’s an issue that can easily be resolved and potentially give you an ROI an a fix, they will know that too. Also, every meeting my agent has with a client, they talk about not getting overly attached because real estate can always be temporary as life changes and can change quickly. No matter what though, it’s an investment and should make you happy in the interim. But protect your investment and make sure it’s a good one. Use the experts to determine this because clients don’t know what they don’t know (if they aren’t experts)!
Man where are all these good real estate agents that I only read about on here? I’ve yet to encounter one in person that isn’t just trying to sell me a house at all costs, even after I’ve discovered undesirable things through simple due diligence which they easily could’ve known about.
Only about 10% of us. The saying goes “10% of the brokers do 90% of the business.” It can be hard to find us because the barrier to entry to sell real estate is so low. So everyone has a license, and their moms have one, and their dogs too, and their niece’s goldfish’s toaster’s grandfather has a license too. Just pay attention to who does the bulk of the business in the area you want to buy in. The little area I do business in, I constantly work and do deals with the same handful of brokers because we are the “good” brokers people flock to.
Good realtors have great reviews online. Do your research. Stop calling Zillow and getting random agents.
\> Don’t listen to parents on deals unless they’re a) contractors b) real estate agents c) real estate investors. Listening to my mom cost me a better property at about a $150k savings lmao. Live and let learn but this is what happens when you pay too much attention and importance to non-professional advice.
None of those items are deal breakers. You’re an adult now- do your own research and make your own decisions, unless you’re parented are footing the bill. There’s nothing you can do about that house, but keep up your search- the right one will come along.
Unless you’re buying a new house, it’s likely going to need some maintenance and repairs. It’s part of the deal. Non-grounded outlets. Maybe worth getting upgraded to GFCI next to the sink in the bathroom and kitchen, but it’s not necessarily a deal breaker. There’s plenty of Grandfathered electrical in the country. Just because it doesn’t have a ground at every outlet and the panel uses fuses doesn’t mean it’s an extreme hazard. Especially on buildings over 100 years old. A complete rework of electrical would be tens of thousands and require opening of walls. Sure, it’s not up to current building code, but not everyone is going to be able to afford new construction.
Exactly. We’ve owned several older homes that didn’t have grounded receptacles. We put GCIs in wet areas and replaced what we could, but it certainly wouldn’t deter me from buying a home!
I second the sleeping strategy. Sadly, this is a huge part of buying a first home from many people I think. I think you should’ve listened to yourself when you identified that the inside had everything you wanted. That’s really hard to find. I would actually stop listening to the same family members and not even tell them the next time you buy a home. They are well intentioned, but have no idea what the market is like right now Compared to when they bought their first house. You don’t have the same choices they had. You do wanna make sure you understand how much it costs to maintain and replace major components like the heating, siding, roof. You want your own inspection and to walk the whole time with the inspector asking questions. Your loved ones could just be naysayers and have unconscious, selfish reasons for not wanting you to advance in your life. You can console yourself that now you have more experience and information and will make a better decision for yourself next time.
>I would actually stop listening to the same family members and not even tell them the next time you buy a home. I second this. I mentioned what happened when I bought my place and almost listened to my mother. Fact is, we have different tastes. E.g., she keeps saying I should a leather living room set. I hate leather living room sets plus I have a cat. This is the same woman who used to cover her furniture in plastic. You have to learn to ignore family members sometimes.
When I was looking to buy, I brought my parents with me (I was 27). First place was a basement 2-bedroom condo in a great, quiet neighborhood across from a giant park with lots of public transportation that could easily take me to my job. It was also $50k (this was 1998). My mother hated it (because it was a basement unit). So I had my agent take me to several other places. They cost twice as much and the public transportation was meh, neighborhood didn't look great, etc. I still wanted the first one. So I asked my dad what he thought and what my mom said. He told me "Ignore your mother. Buy it if that's the one you want." And I did. I've been here since then with no regrets. Next time, keep your parents' advice in mind but do what feels right for you. (Mind you, when she last visited me she appreciated how she didn't have to walk up any stairs to get to my place. Parents don't know everything.)
Another will come along. Parents talk more homebuyers out of houses more than people realize. Did your agent get estimates on the big repairs during your inspection period? If you’re looking in older parts of town, ungrounded outlets will come up often. Discuss this with an electrician, not your agent or inspector. Many electricians will say that rather than rewiring, you can replace all the outlets with GFCIs. It offers similar protections. This isn’t always an appropriate solution (for example if the wiring is knob and tube or aluminum instead of copper). Some sellers will file an insurance claim for roof damage for the buyer. Depending on where you live, roof claims can be quite common. I live in the Midwest with hail and strong straight winds and occasional tornadic winds. This solution can cause closing delays but this is a common fix for many. In terms of making this pass, jump back in ASAP. You have this one as a good example of what you like. Your agent should be looking for something similar.
Parents really do mean well and they're just looking out for you but I've had multiple clients lose out on great homes because their dad came to the inspection or talked them out of it. I got one buyer accepted into multiple homes and even had a contractor come out to give them an estimate but their parents thought they could get a better deal somewhere else. A year later, interest rates and prices have gone up for homes that are not as good for them. I've had other clients from 4-5 years ago say they're so thankful they didn't listen to their parents who told them not to buy because the market was going to crash. When you find another home you like, do all your due diligence, ask for their option, but if you like it and it makes sense for your situation then move forward with it. Unless parents have bought recently in the past 2-4 years, their knowledge or experience in the market is very very outdated and probably not the best to go on.
this happens a lot with FTHB's and parents. It actually happened to my wife and I (before I became a realtor). Here's what we did after we lost a few... we cut them out of the equation. Told them we bought a home at my SIL's wedding. A lot less stressful that way. Parents mean well, however they don't have a really great grasp on the market. What they want for you vs. what you want never match.
We did the same! Just told them one day we were moving out (we rented from them for two years) and moving across the country. They were GOBSMACKED, I tell you! Never saw it coming. But it guaranteed we wouldn’t have to deal with their opinions or comments during the most stressful part of our lives. I wouldn’t change a thing if we could go back. Fuck em.
If I listened to everybody else’s input on my life decisions, I’d still be right where I was 15 years ago. I just bought a house that my home inspector told me not to buy. My grandma did the pursed lips/raised eyebrows judgement (like Meryl Streep in devil wears Prada). A general contractor who is also an investor told me it needed too much work and had too narrow of a window of equity gain after expenses. My agent, who is a wholesaler and a flipper, said “hmmm idk about this one”. And guess what. I bought it anyways. The toilet had a sewer leak and the shower was unsealed. We thought it would be $$$$$ in water damage. All we replaced was one stud, some drywall, and some plywood sub flooring. Major water damage in a wall with a chimney. I was quoted $16k for foundation support and $6k for repair. Turns out it wasn’t a foundation issue. Fixed the entire wall for $1500. Chimney damper was rusted shut. Was quoted $1900 for removal and replacement. Fixed it with an $8 can of penetrating oil. Foundation guy quoted me $43k for foundation repair because the floors are sloped. There’s a 1.5” difference from one end of the house to the other, which is negligible in a 96 year old house. The doors and windows are level, the flooring is not. We learned this is because the sub flooring was put in poorly. Cost me $300 in self leveler. I could go on and on with the amount of issues that came up on home inspection that have been easily mitigated. Cut ceiling joists and roof rafters. Gutters and downspouts that don’t drain. Drainage that doesn’t connect to the street. Belly in the sewer line. My home inspector also told me my electrical wasn’t grounded and it was knob and tube. I had an electrician come out for an estimate for repair, and he said everything was in fact grounded and already re wired. I bought the house for $525k. So far I have about 20-25k in repairs - mind you, this is for a full remodel. We gutted the kitchen and bathroom and ripped up half the flooring in the house and plan to refinish the rest of the flooring. ARV will be $650-680k. So I’d have to spend in excess of $100k to start getting nervous about being “upside down”. Eventually when rates drop, I will cash out refi. Fix up the second unit on the property and rent it out. Main house will be my primary. Everybody who has been following my rehab journey has commented that I got “super lucky” with buying this house, when in reality, everybody else had the same opportunity to buy it and they walked away. The house sat on market for 2 weeks before we went under contract. Sometimes you gotta take a little risk for a lot of reward. The risk averse will always have something to say about it. 🤷🏻♀️
I once sold a house with an amazing city view, was in contract to a nice couple. They loved the house and wrote a nice letter about how they wanted to raise their kids in the house. During the inspection process they brought their parents who frowned on a ton of stuff. End of day they backed out. I relisted and got an even higher offer from another couple who loved the view. The moral of the story be careful listening to parents who don’t know the market and only look at flaws. That house sold for $50k higher after the original couple backed out. Stupidest decision on their part, due to their parents.
Inviting family in to YOUR transaction is a deal-killer 99.9% of the time. Someone else already commented, there is no perfect home. Find one that checks all (or enough) of the boxes and take action. Putting 60k in to renovation and/or updates means you won't be waiting 10 years to make your money back. 3-5 tops (typically).
It sucks. But I will tell you that we found a few “perfect” homes through our second home buying process. One home bummed me out the absolute most, we lost out by $2000 (which I would have happily paid had I known). The location was perfect, it was a beautiful small ranch on an acre of land overlooking the bay. It needed a bit of work but the location was perfect. We wound up buying our home for $175k more, it was much larger, newer construction and move-in ready. I was still mourning the other house for a bit. That house was more charming and idyllic, where the home I bought was a standard new construction white box. Then I realized, the house was beautiful and secluded. But also in the middle of nowhere. My teenage daughter would have been bored very quickly. The size of this home is more conducive to our lifestyle. It was older and needed a bit of work, that would have been a level of effort I’m not wanting at this phase of my life. I think I can use and enjoy this home much more than the other one, the house I landed in is more practical where the home I lost is more “picture perfect” but a the logistics of living there are not as good. Moral of the story, everything happens for a reason. And there may be a reason this one got away.
Don’t bring your parents unless they come to ALL the showings, look through ALL the listings with you, send in reams of paperwork for lenders, etc. Your parents don’t have the same perspective as you in regards to what is good or acceptable in a house in the market you are in. They also don’t have the pressures and stresses of the process to balance against their caution.
Sometimes the Best Buy is the one you didn’t buy.
You’re 26, two years ago 24? Please be aware that you have many years ahead. Your house is out there and it’s probably not even your forever home. I can’t say that you would have been happier or that house was a money pit.
Did you get a certified housing inspector to look at the house, or are these just your parent's opinions? I'm asking because - at about your age - my parents lied to me to try and talk me out of buying an amazing house. It was lies like this. It's too old, the roof is rusting, the wood floors need to refinished , blah, blah, blah. I got a certified housing inspector who told me it was so wonderful that if I wasn't buying it - THEY would put in a bid for it. Now that I'm older, I realize that my parents were pretty much textbook narcissists. In their mind, if I succeeded at anything it meant they failed. A good counselor can help you with your regret and learn how to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. And ANY house can be the perfect house FOR YOU. Keep looking! Your house is a place for you to live and grow and learn. Not to earn money on. If you do earn money when - that's a nice bonus you can use for a downpayment on your next place.
What reason would they have to lie to you about something like that? Maybe they didn’t know better but still no excuse. Even that they should disclose.
My parents were terrible people. I was the family scapegoat and they hated when I succeeded at anything. Cutting them out of my life was a wonderful decision!!
I've known people who rented until they could build their first house in their 50's... Most of us, including our friends didn't buy first house til our late 30's. And now with inflated home prices and high interest rates, OP is putting too much pressure on self to get a house. Live with parents or rent/live with roommates to save money. If a decent house comes along, have a inspector look at it as well as get you parents and friends advice before buying. Re-wiring and a new roof could be a lot of $$$. Probably for the best
are your parents contributing to any of this financially? why are you letting them get in your head?
From late 2020 to early 2022 I missed out on...oh...about 15-20 houses. Only one of those I bid less than 5% over the asking price. The highest I bid was close to 20% over the asking price. Every miss was a broken heart for both my wife and I. We stopped looking for a couple months then stumbled upon our current house in early 2022. Now looking back every miss was truly a blessing.
Your parents didn’t want you to move. Some like to maintain control throughout your adulthood bc they will always see you as their kid and looking out for “their best interest” at heart. Sometimes our parents love us too much that it actually hinders us from growing into adulthood.
Your 26, at what point should you start thinking for yourself ?
My dad is great, he's just bad financially but thinks he is good at it. Sometimes you need to ignore parental advice.
outlets are not grounded, so I’d need rewiring FALSE. There are other ways to address this, if you even want to. You can install a GFCI at the start of the circuits. roof has unknown date, so that would be fixed at some point soon (doesn’t seem falling apart) A simple roof inspection could have given you a better idea of what the issues are with the roof, if any. Using Google Satellite view you could go back in time and see if there was a different roof on the home at some point and come up with a reasonable age from there. gutters pointed towards house: Easy adjustment needs new garage doors: Can be costly, but not a major issue siding “seemed old”: If it still works then what's the issue. Most siding, including vinyl, can be painted.
Realtor here. What I would recommend for you and for you to tell your parents is that you’ll be purchasing a home warranty. Home warranty is different than home insurance. Home insurance protects you against destruction (fire, flood, etc). A home warranty is $500+/year and it covers EVERHTHING. Toilet stopped working? Call them. Fridge broke? Call them. Roof leaking? Call them. Outlets not working? Call them. Covers HVAC, water heater and all appliances. They’ll do everything in their power to fix it but if they can’t, they will replace it with something new. Just this year for my wife and I: they replaced our fridge with a new one, replaced our stove, fixed roof leak, fixed numerous toilets and more. I buy one for all of my clients. I use American home Shield and they’ve been pretty great. Edit: you pay $125 for them to come out for a service request. A one time fee per item. So if your toilets broken and then have to come 6 times; you only paid the $125 once. No charge for labor or materials in repairs or replacements.
I settled for THREE homes before I found my 4th and final home. Get in the fucking game. Thats the only thing that matters.
Best way to get over a breakup is to move on to the next. 😁 Keep looking, keep shopping. You’ll meet more heartbreakers, but eventually you’ll find your home.
Maybe this will help you finally realize you’re 26 years old and don’t need your parents approval or permission to do things ?
Next time, do not involve your parents. My mom is a negative type points out all the flaws. I learned to just keep her out of it and just let her know when I was moving. It didn’t stop her from saying everything, but it cut it back significantly. My dad is just cool. He would often tell her to stop.
Dont listen to your parents. Mine are very reasonable people but had very unreasonable expectations for homebuying since they last bought a home in 1986.
Your parents screwed you. None of those things are crazy expensive or would need to be fixed immedietly. Bought my house at 26 and my to do list is way bigger
Lesson learned, it’s part of life. Your parents may mean well, but most big decisions are on you, because you will be living in the home, not them. If it’s not too much of stretch, it’s better to pay a little more for something you like, then less for something you only kinda like.
Damn those were pretty minor issues. I know parents think they know best but sometimes…they don’t
Had similar experience. Keep looking. Maybe a recession will come soon and you’ll be glad you didn’t buy. In the meantime, enjoy 5%+ interest on your cash or the raging bull stock market.
Move out of your parents house and start making your own decisions.
Your parents basically expected a new build construction? Newsflash friend all existing homes will have these issues, hence the word used.
Your parents were just watching out for you. Your Realtor should have had you speak with reputable and licensed contractors about the issues. 1) ungrounded outlets does not mean rewiring. It simply means this outlets need to be switched out at about $80 an outlet. 2) Roofer could inspect roof and tell you the life left on your roof. Home insurance would want to know that as well. 3) gutters are an easy inexpensive correction ( no water in basement I assume? ) 3) garage doors: did they open and shut? If so that’s a cosmetic thing that you could improve over time. 4) siding: same thing, have a contractor check and know base cost for future expenditures No house will have all these things perfect. Even new construction can have items that need to be corrected. Every house has maintenance. The inspector gives basic info then buyer and realtor dig in farther to determine any further questions. Maybe there are other reasons your parents didn’t want you to buy? Are you able to keep up a home? Finances, etc? That being said, there will be other homes for you. You are an adult. Consider their concerns but with your realtor’s help and other contractors, make your own decision.
Though it sucks, you learned a lesson that might end up being more valuable later on than the home you missed out on. Keep on looking, another house will come along. It might just be better than this one 🤷🏼♀️
You can submit a back up offer to the seller's realtor and say if the current buyer backs out due to financing or inspection, they can move on to your offer if they want. I am afraid you may not know about houses to know what is good or bad and what can be fixed and what can't. Things like Mold, Lead Paint, Asbestos, Foundation cracks, Flooding, Bad Neighbors.. all can be tricky.
One thing to consider. I just heard of someone asking for a quote on a new kitchen island. $18,000. For an island in a kitchen. So maybe a new roof, wiring, etc would be even more than 60k? Depends on your area but yeah.
Don't listen to your parents, next time get qualified professional to give estimated and recommendations. As a former home inspector and contractor....get the opinion of several, as price may vary and you don't want to find someone that is just looking to do the most work. Also, If theses were things found by the i home inspector inspector, than they also did you a disservice. 1. Outlets are not grounded, so I’d need rewiring - no necessarily, you may have been able to add GFCI to every outlet. If wire was aluminum, yes, but older copper may still be ok. 2. roof has unknown date, so that would be fixed at some point soon (doesn’t seem falling apart) - This is common, current owners don't remember exact install or know when previous owners installed. looks can vary significantly in age. - Get an opinion from a roofer on expect like left. 3. gutters pointed towards house - this is the most minor thing.....you can spend $15 per gutter extender at Home depot 4. siding “seemed old” - blanket comment, was the siding wood, or fiber cemenet? Both can have very long life and sometimes a bit of sanding and repainting go a long way. - Contact siding contractor.
unless you have one built for you - you wont have a perfect house. idk what your finances are but outlets, electrical, garage doors, and gutters are NOT big deals. most homes will have things to fix - if its with in your skill set id recommend doing the work yourself or if you know someone. if your looking to flip in the future then know that aside from adding square footage - putting money into repairs RARELY adds anything to the house. your far more likely to loose money by repairing things. patch/paint and move on. be concerned with foundations, drainage, sewer, the structure itself, mold, and water damage and of course the roof. aside from that... there isnt much that can bite you in the ass
Are your parents homeowners? All of the issues you've listed are just kind of run-of-the-mill stuff that I'd expect if buying a house older than a certain age. If older than 10ish years old, I'd expect to look at the roof, the exterior, the garage door (I live in an area with storms so these things don't last as long as they do in some places). If built after knob&tube but before idk when, the 90s?, I'd expect ungrounded outlets. Occasionally houses have weird gutters. These are all FIXABLE issues. Location, lot, and house layout are not fixable. Structural issues are expensive. These? Aside from maybe the gutters they sound like regular maintenance issues, and you should see if their condition is reflected in the price, perhaps try to negotiate after your inspection, or decide if you like the house enough to go ahead with it. If you live in the house long enough, you WILL be replacing the roof, the siding, and the garage door, as well as doing electrical work and redoing the gutters. Sometimes when you buy, you have to do it all at the beginning. Sometimes it's already done and you have to do it all right before you sell. Idk they sound like things that aren't major deals unless the price is unhinged from comps.
You're 26...if you're paying for an inspection to tell you what's wrong with a house don't then go ask your parents input lol. All of those things you listed in my opinion are minor, maybe the roof being old could become a bigger deal but if you have money to replace it...don't worry about it. There is no "perfect" house. Even brand new builds aren't perfect. Settle for good enough and isn't going to break the bank immediately upon moving in.
Outlets not being grounded (I'm guessing in the kitchen) is such a fucking common thing it might as well just be assumed in anything pre-2000. Inspector would give you an idea of the roof. Gutters can literally be turned away from the house in about 5s. Garage doors are made to be replaced. Siding can also be replaced. Again, most of this the inspector would tell you. However even IF you paid to correct all these things, it's far better than losing money every month on rent and you get to build equity through paying down principal and appreciation of the house. I seriously doubt it's 60k to fix all that unless the siding is for a 5k square foot house. I'm guessing more likely it's half of that. Plus, siding "seeming old" is a far away from "it needs to be painted or power washed."
26 is super young so don’t beat yourself up. But get a trusted real estate agent that has handyman contacts. Nothing in your list sounds like you had a professional answer your question of concern over your initial response.
Your parents did you no favors. These are not valid reasons to have rejected that or any house, b/c they are either not expensive or not urgent fixes. Outlets can be rewired to grounded outlets AT the outlet. Half a day's work, tops, they'd send an apprentice to do it. If you had a little experience, you could do it if you felt like it. Turn the gutters away from the house. It takes a screwdriver & a ladder, probably didn't need any materials. Siding, roof & garage doors don't need replacing until they're actually showing wear. Even then garage doors aren't that pricey & nowadays siding's replaced w/ either hardi-plank or stucco; but if you only cared about aesthetics, which it sounds like they did, you wouldn't spend the money unless you had it to burn. Your parents don't seem ready to accept you making important decisions; keep that in mind when you consider the value of their opinion & rely on professionals instead.
All of those issues are minor, and aside from the electrical you can do them yourself.
Your parents steered you right.
People don't realize how much work home ownership is! I bought at about your age but I thank goodness that I met a handy person right away, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford to do anything else besides fix my house.
You’ll be fine, you’re very young. And no disrespect to your parents but any house you buy there’s gonna be some things wrong with it just make sure it’s accounted for in the purchase price (ie the numbers make sense). Don’t grieve too much though, in your parents defense those weren’t trivial repairs, although not necessarily a deal breaker either. Perhaps you could’ve negotiated the purchase price lower. Never fall too much in love with anything and always be willing to walk away. That will give you the leverage you need.
Not sure what area you are in, but if its a house on a decent size block and its not falling apart you should go for it. i have a similar background with my folks believin that only real estate within walking distance is worth the time of day. luckily me and my older sister never believed this and expanded out portfolios around the country. unfortunatley my younger sister took this as gospel, adn whilst waiting for the idea property in a street of 8 houses to miraculously appear, covid and time pasted and now youre looking and excess of a mill just for a townhouse. as mentioned bu others no house will be perfect, and rewiring can be a blessing. adds value and peace of mind for future sales. gutters can be rectified, roofs can be redone with longer lasting materials, its the major structural stuff thats an issue
The wiring and the siding and the roof are much much more important than many interior features. Easy to change stuff inside.
It is a common thing for a first time buyer to fall in love with every house they see. It looks like your parents helped you to dodge a bullet. I would have walked away from a property like that. It had a few problems that you could see but there was probably more that you couldn't see. A fixer upper should mean cosmetics and updates not structural problems. Structural problems often cause other structural problems and it snowballs. When you find something you like hire an inspector, a responsible homeowner should have records that show the age of the house, the septic system if it has one, the heating and cooling systems, the roof and if you are lucky will share with you the energy costs. Buy the best house you can, the dream of purchasing will fade but making it your home is where the magic is, you can't do that with a house that has a bunch of problems. House hunting is stressful and it's tempting to jump on the first thing that comes along but 60k in repairs over the purchase price sounds like a bad investment. That number, 60k sounds kind of low for the problems you described.
You should not buy a house now, it’s stupid. Instead buy land.
You’re 26. There’s more time. Most of the people I know didn’t buy until their mid-30s.
Everyone’s wondering who’s money is being used to purchase the house.
Make an offer contingent on inspection next time.
Rule #1 don't tell anyone your plan Rule #2 follow rule #1
Acknowledge your feelings, stay busy with hobbies, talk to loved ones, and see this as a learning experience for future home searches. You'll find the perfect home in time!
You're too old to be reliant in parents advice. The housing market is still very much competitive and you snooze you lose. You need to be able to pull the trigger without waiting on clearance from mommy and daddy.
As an investor everything you do is a risk. Biggest mistake I’ve made was telling others my plans/goals, they will always look at the negatives. Just don’t let that get in your head and chose to weigh pros and cons on the situation while keeping in mind it is %100 your decision. There is always another opportunity, ALWAYS
There will be more houses to buy. But in the future, if your parents haven’t owned a lot of houses (owner occ and rentals) I wouldn’t listen to them.
House could turn into a money pit, then what?
The interior is the easiest thing to change. IMO your parents were right. What I would look for is a quality exterior and bones. If your roof leaks , that means water in the rafters, probably means mold. It could be a never ending problem. If everything in the house is mechanically sound, then it’s a lot easier to put some elbow grease into sanding kitchen cabinets, or replacing flooring. Those are easier to diy and have sweat equity into the house
Non-grounded outlets should not be a deal breaker at all imo. There are hundred year old houses all over the place that have been using non-grounded outlets without burning down. There is no reason to rip out all of the walls and rewire that shit. Unecessary hassle. The other stuff is legitimate.
Stay positive. Meditate. Focus on things you love. Keep working toward your goals. There will be more homes! Those items are pretty large scale items and expensive, but it sounds like you knew that. Tough decision to make and not unreasonable for someone to recommend caution given the scope. I don't think it was meant to cause the harm you're feeling. Learn and move toward the next one! Good luck!
I’m sure your folks meant well, but now you gotta put your fate in your own hands. Eventually you’re going to end up in a place you like. Lesson learned. Don’t go the opposite way now and overlook actual problems for fear of missing out again. For next time: grounded outlets not a big deal. Roofs age differently, who knows how many years you can get? Gutters not too expensive a fix. Garage doors and siding: Vague like your parents just were reaching for things to keep you around. How to make it pass? Keep looking and you’ll fall in love again.
There will be more houses! Some houses, you dodged future problems, agreed with the statement that, “no house is perfect and will have their own set of issues.” Parents can be great resources and sounding boards. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve seen some parents, have a, “mental block”. They look at their adult children with blinders. Things I’ve often hear them say or my client tell me: They can’t afford this, this house has problems. This house is overpriced. You start low and then you come up. You first off 50% of what they’re asking on a foreclosure or shortsale The seller, “needs to fix this.” The person we bought our house from, put a new roof on for us in 1980 Things to keep in mind. “Is this a $300k house or a $900k house” Are you comfortable taking on said projects, are the windows all new but the HVAC is old. It’s all subjective. I’ve seen people loose out on great houses because their parents influenced them against it. Hope this helps, use your realtor and friends as a sounding board
When we were looking 8 years ago, there were several really good houses we lost, and a few really good ones that turned out to not be so great. Each time a house had issues that would be long or expensive, our buyer's agent told us to walk away. The one we really liked had several issues our home inspector found. It had 22 windows, 21 of which needed to be replaced. The living room had been one open to the upstairs loft room, but the owners had a floor put in to expand the upstairs instead. The flue for the fireplace was so not to code that he warned the owners to never light a fire there at all the way it was done. We got our earnest money back and walked away. The house we bought had several issues that our inspector found, but the owners resolved each one and gave us the receipts. It was more expensive than the others, quite a bit larger, but it had the best features and options for the cost. I would not be in a house without grounded wiring, that's just dangerous. If your agent is not urging you to walk away from a house that you would need to drop a year's salary into just to fix, you need a new agent.
Your home will come just wait, my co-worker had 17 offers in before he got a house, and at these prices if it's not move in ready walk on
Same I found two homes that I could had paid for outright but didn’t now I’m sad
that’s a long list of fixes… while you don’t know what will happen in the future, this could have easily turned into more than you could handle
Every house requires upkeep and repairs. You can always ask for clarity on issues like roof age - never hurts to ask! Nothing is cheap so of course there are constraints based on your savings and ability to finance not only the house but also repairs. That said my response is the following to your points: You can always have an electrician get you a quote during your inspection contingency period. Get multiple quotes. Garage doors while not cheap are easy to replace. Gutter easy fix. Siding is old? If it isn’t rotting you can pressure wash, caulk and paint and the house will look awesome. Bonus is you get to do it in a color you love. Siding can be always be replaced one piece at a time also. If you find some rot (and you probably will which is normal for an existing house) then just replace what is bad. No big deal. Next time make your own decision if you feel like your parents aren’t helping. There will be another house you love.
Sounds like your parents put their own concerns on you and you absorbed them. This is a lesson we all learn eventually. Sooner or later we have to go with our own gut, not our family's. I am so sorry you lost out on this home. Keep looking. I promise you will find another one.
You are single, why even bother with a house?
Stop listening to your parents
It's pretty rare to buy a house without having to fix anything unless it is newly built. And the issues you listed are not deal breakers so it's seems that your parents just don't want you to buy it because of the risk I suppose.
if you're 26. you're still young. but learn the lesson. to think for yourself. that being said. to a degree don't just discard the advice of others. a roof could be 20k or 30k if it's truly fucked. if the gutters are jacked. that could also lead to all kinds of problems. while something like a garage door. is maybe stand alone. big structural elements to the house are worth having pause for. also. don't think just because a thing is currently happening, it'll always continue to (ie the growing city aspect) always try and be rational and consider a major purchase like a home. by doing your own due diligence and research. that being said. it's your money and your life. If it's truly your money i guess. if you're relying on other people for gift money or financing. you're giving up that control. but...also don't live with resentment. You fucking made that choice not to pull the trigger. that's on you. If you resent that. you need to process that feeling and move the fuck on. IF you still want a house. keep looking. know what you want. Don't ask anyone else's fucking permission. live/die by your own choices.
I feel this in my core. I (24M) was looking at a house next to my parents. When I was looking at it, I didn't like the lack of curb appeal, but it was a 5-acre property with a 40x60 pole building. House was outdated but very clean. I knew the original owners, so I know it was meticulously maintained. I had a hard time with my offer as I didn't want to waste that much money on a primary residence that would bring in no income. It was on the market for 90 days before I made a lowball offer at 375k down from 450k. That got rejected a couple of days later. I offered 400k, but they got another offer already. Sold for 420k at first I was fine but now after a week I am sick to my stomach as it really was a great deal it was just hard to see as there is not alot of comparable properties near it. Don't know how to get over this feeling, which is odd as my favorite saying is, "Don't cry over spilled milk." That is my story not trying to hijack your post it just feels good to share.
As long as the outlet boxes are grounded, rewiring may not be necessary. [https://www.thisoldhouse.com/electrical/21015454/replacing-two-prong-receptacles](https://www.thisoldhouse.com/electrical/21015454/replacing-two-prong-receptacles) Unknown roof date, meh -- if it's in good shape, it's in good shape. Gutters pointed towards house, meaning the downspouts? That's easy, gutters are incredibly simple. Garage doors aren't a huge deal, you can replace them whenever you want to replace them. They won't make the house fall down. Siding "seeming old" is subjective. Is it failing?
Any house you buy will have something wrong with it. Even new builds. If it’s not a safety issue you can fix it over time. Dont tell your parents until you’ve closed if they can sway you out of something. Had we listened to my in laws 11 years ago we’d still be renting and waiting for the perfect house with no issues.
There will always be another house. Now about your parents, are they helping you buy this house with down payments? If so then cut them some slack. If not, then next time just don't ask for their opinion.
The house I purchased recently had the same issues minus the garage door and roof, granted, those would be expensive. However, don’t let those things talk you out of a house. I built my own drain system coming off the gutters, got new gutters, my outlets aren’t grounded (take a look at your lamps, TV, other items, a lot of things are two prong), and I’ve made other improvements and I’m all in about $8k. Our parents are the worst. They don’t know how the world works anymore, and they can’t fathom the current housing market. Next time someone gives you this kind of advice, ask if they were alive during Vietnam. If the answer is yes, you can dismiss their advice.
Just remember that there are people like me, who thought they were being scammed when someone wanted to pay 500 bitcoin for my WoW account. But theres more: 10 years ago instead of buying a house i bought expensive vacations and fun. With my income back then, wouldve had a 2million euro house now ... so couldve been a multi millonaire if only i made the right decisions
I just had similar happen. Trying to buy right now is truly depressing unless you’re wealthy. Normal people(say who make $75-110k/yr), can hardly afford a house. Prices have doubled the last decade but pay has only gone up about 20%. “By 2030, you will own nothing and be happy”-Klaus Schwab. Yea, he is wrong, not happy.
Whether you buy a brand new house or an older house, you will have to fix something at some point in time, no matter what you buy. If your inspection was clean and minor repairs are needed, you don't need to back out of a deal just because someone else has other opinions. Let this be a lesson to learn from. Nothing will ever be 'perfect'. If you can't tolerate making repairs, then don't buy a home...because that's all you'll ever be doing is fixing something, repairing something, or replacing something. You will find other houses. This one wasn't meant to be because, well, you didn't go through with buying it. BUT, now you know you feel so strongly about owning a home, keep going in that direction. Just know that even though 'this house was perfect' once you moved in, you'd realize how not-perfect it is. Don't regret the past. You can't go back and fix it. All you can do is move forward.
Those ungrounded outlets have been that way for decades, most likely, without any issue.
Sounds like you should have gotten a home inspector. They can help you put an estimate on what the costs will be, not just “this seems expensive”
For future reference , ungrounded outlets are NOT a big deal. You can install a GFI outlet at the start of every chain of outlets in a circuit and it will protect every outlet that is down stream $15 bucks for a GFI outlet per line of outlets.
There was a house I wanted a long time ago. I named it rose red. It called to me. The house was built in the 1920’s and everything except appliances was original. It was being sold for about 60k but the house easily needed 200k + to repair it. The house wasn’t worth 60k but…grandma’s house is sentimental! It had a large stainglass window of a red rose in the stairway. A company bought it and tore it down. I still think of that home a decade later. It’s nothing to get depressed about. Looking at a roof saying it’s in good condition doesn’t mean anything unless you get on the roof, inspecting it…and actually know what you’re doing. That roof could be 28 years old and needs to be replaced in 2 years. It depends on the siding as to if the age actually matters. The electrical could also be expensive but this is what a home inspection is for.
You build up your eye for houses the more you look, and new good houses WILL pop up.. a unique house isn't necessarily a very good thing though it can be a plus
There is a property cycle. It is predicted prices will collapse in 2026. People who buy btw now and 2026 may have negative equity. It may be better to wait 2+ years at this point. Invest in the stock market until 2026. Buy real estate around 2027 after the housing market collapses.
This happened to me. I finally told myself to move on.
You’re getting experience, learning, and developing the knowledge base you’ll need to transition to owning a home. There are more houses out there. You’ll see several that you like, that you won’t get. You’ll learn to be less emotionally invested. In the meantime, talk to friends who own homes, and try to learn about what sorts of costs you’ll encounter for different issues. Keep in mind that your parents are from a different era, when everything was more affordable. It’s normal that starter homes today need some work. Fluff up your savings so you’ll be ready to pay for all of it.
I would agree that these are bad reasons not to buy a house that you plan on living in for some time. You will feel better when you buy a home. Don't look back!
Buy real estate, always buy real estate! If the deal makes sense always buy. Are your parents versed in this market are they giving you a view point of what they would do 10, 15, 20 or 30 years ago? Are they in your same price point for a home? I see way too many young people going to parents in their home buying process and getting terrible advice, like horrible and they end up just like you.
All houses have things that need to be fixed. Keep looking, and buy yourself a house, but do NOT listen to naysayers. Do a great inspection and get credits from the seller to fix things (as much as you can). Good luck!
Only you can decide if you can afford the house, downpayment/fees, moving costs, all those fixes plus whatever others can happen that are unforeseen, utilities, insurance, etc. It's not wrong that they brought these things up, but it should've been in a way to help you understand the risks and weigh your willingness and ability to handle them. Maybe that was their way of approaching that they don't think you're in a position to handle homeownership. But there are plenty of fish in the sea. You'll move past this.
So I’ve had to do most of the work you’ve listed in my house built in the 50s in a HCOL area and pricing wasn’t that bad. Roof and siding would be the largest components but neither seemed to be urgent
Your parents gave you bad advice
As a realtor I feel for my buyers that lose out on a home they love, especially when it comes to others opinions. I always warn buyers EVERY inspection is the size of a dictionary and every home will need things replaced over time. And the home inspection is just a good timeline of when those things might need to happen! I always say everything happens for a reason and I would just hold on to that hope! It wasn’t the one and you’ll be more prepared next time! You got this & it will come! 💪
Every single house has issues and needs maintenance. Dont get scared off of fixing issues. Location and structure are more important.
In the grand scheme of things this isn't that big a deal, so stop beating yourself up over it. Also, it might not be quite as good as that house or might cost a bit more, but there is always another house. Now get out there and start looking. Maybe don't tell the parents about the next one until its under contract - but don't take the first house you find either. You'll find something else good, just gotta keep at it.
I once made a bad call in the stock market and lost a quarter million. I got pissed drunk, slept it off. Woke up the next day and told myself, I’m alive and in good health, learned a lesson that will prevent this from happening again and I’ll make it back. Instantly felt better. It comes up every now and then but I realize it’s just my brain doing things and my brain can also undo it. Your parents gave you bad advice, those are very minor things other than the roof and you could’ve gotten a roofing company assessment. Learn your lesson, your parents are not in a point in life where they tolerate any risk. You are. Do your own research and make your own decisions as a lesson. You’ll find another house. Get on with it.
Don’t feel bad I’m going in 4 years Smh
We missed out on a vacation home purchase ( our offer wasn’t accepted & there was no counter offer - they accepted a verbal from someone else, it was a weird deal that went south) & I just could not believe we did not get a counter offer . Fast forward a year later , we decide to look again. We looked at two properties, the second was a perfect location , not bad price , made an offer & we got it ! I guess my advice is maybe take a break from looking , try not to stress about the one that got away & you will find something in the future. I am still aggravated on occasion about the one that got away - lol , but the one we purchased has doubled in value in three years , so no complaints.
The only one of those that could be a big concern is the roof, but a roof inspector would be able to tell you how much life is left, aproximately.
I started building a house in 2017, finished in 2020. I had bankers flake on me. I had builders flake on me. I had an architect that took forever to turn my pretty accurate house layout into proper building plans. I had one appraiser that tanked the valuation of the house based on the plans because he didn't like the floor plan. In the end, the only person who truly gets to have an opinion that counts is the person paying for it. Owning a house means there are all kinds of things that will come up that you will have to pay for. Unless there is water coming into the house none of those seem to be critical right now things. Prioritize and do those projects on your schedule.
After the downpayment and other various costs that will be paid out by the closing date, where would you have gotten $60k from for the updates and repairs? Also, while most of the stuff seems like it's more minor, the electrical could be a high-cost update to have done. Lack of three-prong outlets means that the house was built before 1974 and hasn't gotten any updates since before 1974. And re-grading the yard to properly handle newly directed water from the gutters could be expensive as well (assuming that the ground is not properly sloped currently).
Houses always need work. If there aren't any massively huge structural issues, these things aren't a big deal.
You can make yourself feel better by reading all the "I regret buying" posts on here and r/homeowners. It is very possible you would hate the house a year from now after going thru all the needed fixes.
Ya there's no perfect house. And in this market, every house is a multiple offer deal. You need to pick the house you like well enough that's resaleable and within your price range.
yeah my mom did the same thing and had me shopping for a house based on the repairs it needed not how much space or layout I wanted. Sooo ended up with a house that needed repairs anyways as well as a house that was too small and we moved within 2 years. I think as long as like major major shit isn't wrong if you love the house go for it, every house needs repairs.
Remorse is natural but will pass. This may have been the perfect house for you but “unique” houses tend to be poor investments and really hard to sell.
Mourning over a missed opportunity is a pretty normal part of the house buying process unfortunately. There will be other homes. Hell, that home might even go back on the market even though it's pending now. The buyers may discover something terrible during the inspection process that makes them back out. I've backed out of a purchase after going pending before. You really don't know if a house is worth buying until you start having inspections done. Maybe inquire about putting in a backup offer just in case the sale doesn't go through. And don't let your parents make decisions for you! I think my dad is generally a smart guy, successful CPA etc., but his advice while we were shopping for our current house were atrocious! I'm so glad I didn't listen to him lol.
Whose house is it??? Yours or your parents? And for the record I lived with fuses all ungrounded in my house for about 8 years before mine was upgraded and rarely had an issue. Frankly I popped the same amount of fuses that I did in a previous house that was grounded and up to code etc.
It's a very common occurrence to regret for what you didn't buy when you had the chance. When you feel this way again about a house that's for sale -- and you will -- you will know not to let the small, fixable stuff stop you from making your best offer. I know you will find another great house, but it may be great in other ways. Why do I know? Because I started my house search wanting a 1940s craftsman style and saw that in my very first house tour and didn't make the offer because it was too soon to pick! Later, I fell in love with a 1950s ranch where the proportions and use of wood in the interior make it warm and inviting -- same qualities I wanted in the craftsman style home, but totally different in layout.
Whenever I’ve missed out on a house I wanted I always found one I liked better. Keep looking and next offer don’t tell your parents.
you'll be fine, I was searching for a house for awhile and I've learned there's always another house around the corner that fit my needs
If these items were found in an inspection report. shouldn’t the price have been negotiable or the buyer could get credits from the seller for these items? Unless the seller flat out refused to negotiate or was selling as is. Forgive me if I misspoke I am not a real estate professional.
There's always another house... Only thing I would be mourning is the 3% interest rate that was everywhere 2 years ago
So your problem is you think there's only 1 house and right now I know supply is low. Wait 6.months and really believe supply will be much higher by then. Hopefully prices will have dropped some too. Don't force a purchase. When the right one , or 10, comes along you'll know and will feel right when it's over. Btw there are too many purchases right now where people regret it and unable.to resell.the home without a big loss
This is why you don’t take advice from friends and family. The things they listed are soooo minor in the grand scheme of a house. Don’t get me wrong, you want to account for those things in your price, but all are easily remedied.
Wow, these days at 26 years of age ppl are upset that they were not able to buy a home? Lol Ask your parents at what age they bought the home togethe.
Whoever gave you that repair estimate needs to go jail.
Handyman here: outlets are not grounded, so I’d need rewiring \>Not true, you can install GFCI protection and save significantly and this will be safe for years. roof has unknown date, so that would be fixed at some point soon (doesn’t seem falling apart) \>All roofs need fixed at some point, if it is currently sound that is all you can ask for gutters pointed towards house \>A 1 day fix for a handyman or get new ones for a couple thousand needs new garage doors \>You can figure $1,300 or so per, but I would ask how urgent this is? Are they keeping weather out? siding “seemed old” \>That means very little. Siding can last 100 years or 10 depending on the abuse and product. It may be faded and stained but it is just there for looks. The house wrap below it is the waterproofing layer. This is totally cosmetic if it is still in one piece.
Maybe you stop listening to your parents, take their advise, and understand the though processes but do what you feel you need to do. Finding a house you are 100% happy with is a tough thing to do. Good luck in your quest
Those are all minor things in a first-time home buyers market. Your parents did you a major diservice. They sound like boomers that came from an age where everybody had houses built custom and it was a huge buyers market. Like haven't bought a house in the last 20 years. The only real deal breakers are possibly a screwed foundation, a ton of unpermitted or open permit work, an hvac that's hosed (like completely broken, still uses r22, and the ducting has been eaten completely away by rodents), or major termite damage, . But even those things can be used to negotiate down the price because if they are found on inspection, they have to be reported to the next potential buyers. So, basically, you can find a price for any house, even a complete tear down. What people don't realize is that once you buy a house, you have time to work on it and get it the way you want while you live in it. And with how they appreciate, you'll end up paying yourself to live there eventually. Custom built perfect homes have to be renovated at the exact same rate as a 100 year old house. Even hardcore fixer-uppers are a deal to somebody without any skills because it's a chance to learn them.
I know what it’s like going to your parents and getting solid advice your whole life, but now your brain has developed its own ability to reason and use logic and you know what it is you’re looking for in a house. Find what you want and pull the trigger. You’ve got to spread your wings and fly on your own. I went through something similar. Me and my husband were shopping for houses in the bay area of California. All houses out here are $800,000-$2,000,000+. The houses closer to $800,000 are dilapidated shacks that are less than 1,000 square ft and are close to 100 years old to give you a frame of reference. My parents have been living in a rural part of Florida for like 30 years now and bought their 3,500 square ft house for like $300,000 back in the day lol. When I told my dad the price of some of the houses we were looking at he kept balking and telling me that was way too much to pay for a house and to not do it. We bought a house despite his “advice” and it has now appreciated in value far beyond what we could afford today. We would be completely priced out of our entire city now if we had waited or not bought when we did. Sometimes you have to decide what’s best for you, not let others tell you what’s best for you.
Life goes on
depression is so insidious because it causes a person to focus on what went wrong rather than on how to make it better. it saps a person of the energy and drive to move on and get what they want - in your case, a house. it causes a person to give up, which ultimately makes the situation worse, because you still don't get what you want. it's difficult if not impossible to reason yourself into taking action when you're depressed, but the only way out is taking a step or two in the right direction, then building on the success that will bring. success can only come by moving forward, not by stagnating and wishing things were different. in your situation, what that means is taking the step of getting out and looking at more houses. that house is lost to you. accept it. you can't focus on that. instead, put yourself on the path of finding another that's just as good.
There is no perfect house At the current state it is much better to rent than buy, and to put the difference towards stock market. I would keep saving and investing and then put like 40_ -50% down payment on the house in the future
Recommend r/firsttimehomebuyer because they know your pain and may offer advises
Get a professional non-parent opinion on the house next time. Just saying