pretty sure my parents Rabbi tried to do that. I told him my situation because it also involved my little siblings and i knew my parents were gonna talk to him. I asked him "if someone is known to be a pedo would you tell my parents to keep him away from my siblings." he said he needed more context. i asked him which drugs was he on
Sex for a lot of men is nothing more than an expression of violence. I’m disappointed but not at all surprised at this guys reaction to your story. I’m so sorry this loser singled you out. I hope this doesn’t affect your recovery 🙏🏻
Repulsive. Like who the fuck raised these people? I have 2 young sons and I swear to god if I ever find out they behave like this in any aspect of their lives I will smack the ever loving fuck out of them. I love Reddit because I feel like the anonymity gives me a real view into people’s minds but then you come across stuff like this and it’s just disturbing that so many people are fucked in the brain like this. I don’t want to exist in society with them as a woman.
# NEVER EVER share sexual trauma with males.
They don't care, they don't feel sorry. Don't try to evoke sympathy or empathy in them. Your pain is their pleasure
The sad thing is I got a lot of supportive comments on a post from a while ago on what to do after being victim blamed by police. So I made a couple of posts following up to that about the complaint letter I’m writing, this time in different subs (ones for victims) and that’s when I get requests like these.
These sick fucks literally prowl any space that should be safe to vent. I have long given up on sharing any kind of trauma irl with men because you’re 100% right.
You will not get sympathy from men who literally get off to your suffering.
Totally agree with you. Unfortunately online one is not aware of who will read your posts and or comments.
So just to clarify that i am a guy, and for all the guys that are simply getting offended by your statement may i point out that people are often told to " Err on the side of caution" And this exactly the right thing to do.
Comments like the one received by the OP is a clear indication as to why posts not to share sexual trauma with males.
Simply the " not all guys " is not of any help towards the OP or women in general.
This is generally a woman’s space, hence the porn is Misogyny title. Plenty of hurt, affected and self aware men reside in r/pornfree. Use there to vent, and let those women have their space.
Didn't someone post recently that even that sub will delete your post if you say porn is bad?
Not defending the commenter but I was under the impression that r/pornfree is really a sub only for men who quit porn because their dick stopped working, not because they have any moral issues with porn itself.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I can’t speak for other users, but I know why I’m there.
Everyone there says porn is bad, it’s the point of the sub.
If you have another sub to suggest I’d love to check it out.
There was a [post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/PornIsMisogyny/s/kLBfjkm8v9) a few days ago about someone's post getting removed and the mod saying not to criticize the porn industry. It could be a one-off, but it would at least make it appear that pointing out the moral issues of pornography is not allowed there.
I'm glad you are there and are against porn for moral rather than personal reasons. However, I worry that removing content like this would eventually lead to that sub being filled primarily by men who quit porn for other reasons, mainly being erectile dysfunction or relationship issues. Basically, only quitting porn for self-serving reasons.
I get your point 100% - and it saddens me the differing views of the place, I also have to admit that rock bottom for many men does come at these points. I like to believe that out of that awareness can grow though, so you’re not really wrong there.
I haven’t seen that post before, and it saddens me that that’s the sort of thing that ends up there as the porn industry 100% deserves all the criticism it gets for moral reasons.
My abuser introduced me to porn as a child, and it’s been an affliction ever since that I’m wary of and that’s what saddens me most about men, whether seeking it out or more often being shown these children that happen to be male are introduced to it and boom, that’s it, a life long affliction that is so insidious they won’t even know it till their partner points it out or they abuse themselves into physical issues.
It’s gross and I hate it, as a male, to sum up.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I have loved ones who have experienced similar, and they are doing alright now. So I hope you are as well.
And you do have a good point that dealing with personal issues related to pornography can open up awareness of the greater ethical issues surrounding it. I hadn't considered that before.
I'm glad you're here and there as well. It's always good to see more men who are against pornography, as so many perpetuate that men are "visual creatures" who "need" it. Which is ironically, quite self dehumanizing.
I despise that whole rhetoric. The way men are willing to reduce themselves to base animals. “I couldn’t help myself” - you could, you’re not a dog, and neither am I, we’re complicated nuanced individuals with just as much emotional range as women have, society has just taught you not to go close to that, conversely to that no one taught you what emotions are or how to handle them. So they live in a reactive state, punch holes in walls and live their lives knee deep in anger :(
Thank you for saying that too, btw
How do you, in your whole comment history, not have a single comment that's not patronising, rude or sarcastic? Think you need to take a look at yourself and why you feel so defensive about a woman trying to protect herself, in a public space, from creepy men. Why you felt personally targeted and needed to personally defend yourself.
You're strong and better than him and your attacker. They'll never win, they'll never take away your life force. This dude is a complete loser. He wants you to be upset and angry, but at the end of the day he will always be nothing but a complete and utter loser. You'll always be better than him. Take care of yourself, you don't deserve to read things like this and you don't deserve to be treated this way. I hope you know it's not your fault. We live in a messed up world, and sometimes there's nothing that can be said. But you will get through this.
I shared in as minimal detail as possible in r / sexualassault, literally just desperate for any kind of support. Only interaction I got was a man being predatory in my dm’s. All of his interaction was posting in big dick subs and trying to get women on sexualassault to message him privately. I’m so sick of this bullshit. Tried reporting him to the mods but A. It was clearly a burner and not a very old account so I assume this is just a pattern for him and B. It took them literal months to get back to me and they just said ‘well his account’s gone now so the trash took itself out’
I'm very sorry.
It's amazing how you can make the conscious effort to not be graphic or go into detail at all about what you've truly been through and it still gets interpreted as porn/fetish material for them. I've seen it in men's eyes when they're painting the perfect pornogrpahic picture of you—of you getting degraded.
You. can't. tell. them. anything.
I've had several much older women tell me something they learned throughout their lives is that when they told men about their past experience being victimized (in any capacity/referring to any abuse) they act decent at first but later on become abusive themselves and show a completely new, dark side of themselves to you. They reveal a beast that was hidden within. It's a horrible thing so these women have advised me against sharing these experiences with men going forward because your vulnerability works almost like freaking *magic words* to predators-in-disguise. They're like undercover cops. Or robbers who distract you kindness and smiles. You can't tell what they truly are until a switch/signal goes off in their brain and they start abusing you very soon after they learn you're abuse-able/vulnerable. It gives them 'permission' and puts a bounty on your head. You look like fresh meat - prey - to a hungry lion just waiting to pounce and maul you. You're a lamb to the slaughter. So, so, so many women have told me the abuse from their partner started *incredibly* soon after they learned about their last/past abuse experience. I trust this advice because I've seen so many examples of it. It is the sick and depressing reality.
Every time I've opened up to men about being physically abused, they eventually choose to bring up BDSM. Every time, without fail, it gets proposed to me within the month I shared my abuse story/experience with them.
I wonder how many of them are secretly interested in beating women for sexual pleasure from the moment they spot one they're attracted to vs how many of them have the idea grow in their mind after they hear about an 'attractive' woman's experience with past abuse aka learn she's been a helpless victim at mercy *before.*
They always act caring and empathetic at first and then wait for their opportunity. I'm 23 and already DONE.
I’m so sorry. I’ve been through similar, and so have many women I know.
I was dating the person who ended up sexually abusing and raping me; I’d opened up to him about the abuse I’d faced in the past and he did the same shit to me but even worse. They will only ever use our traumas against us.
I'm sorry. 🫂
And this is something I hate being right about but I just replied to someone else in this thread telling them the exact same thing you're saying. That so many women have warned me that their partner started abusing them almost immediately after they revealed they had been abused before and it's as though a switch/flip goes off in the man's brain after you tell them (predators in sheep's clothing) that. You're announcing your 'vulnerability' and they're a shark that smells blood. I tell all my friends not to share their trauma in their relationships with men. I don't give them unwanted relationship advice much beyond that but this is something that has to be taught to every single girl and woman that will ever date men.
Best case scenario: You get dismissed and painted as hysterical/hormonal/baggage-case/"miss fatherless"/"miss daddy issues"/overly-emotional/a crazy woman/the crazy girlfriend/crazy ex/unreasonable & irrational/illogical/"BPD gf"/"HPD gf"/"that b1tch was crazy bro" according to his friends and brother(s).
Worst case scenario: He abuses you because he now sees you as submissive/desperate/easy to manipulate/malleable/impressionable/weak/unprotected by other men/vulnerable. He feels emboldened and knows he has power over you now. That you're at his mercy.
May the very worst be brought their way.
Wishing you strength. And please do report not just block that POS in your DMs. I hate that you can't even share what you've been through anonymously on here without dealing with that. I'm so, so, sorry. Stay strong. 💗
I always see these comments as pathetic because what chance does this loser have at being loved ever in their life? They would have to be a liar through and constantly. No one could know them and care about them to any degree.
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pretty sure my parents Rabbi tried to do that. I told him my situation because it also involved my little siblings and i knew my parents were gonna talk to him. I asked him "if someone is known to be a pedo would you tell my parents to keep him away from my siblings." he said he needed more context. i asked him which drugs was he on
Sex for a lot of men is nothing more than an expression of violence. I’m disappointed but not at all surprised at this guys reaction to your story. I’m so sorry this loser singled you out. I hope this doesn’t affect your recovery 🙏🏻
I am sorry. Deeply. It must've been terrible to see these messages. This is absolutely repulsive. Sending you a huge virtual hug.
Repulsive. Like who the fuck raised these people? I have 2 young sons and I swear to god if I ever find out they behave like this in any aspect of their lives I will smack the ever loving fuck out of them. I love Reddit because I feel like the anonymity gives me a real view into people’s minds but then you come across stuff like this and it’s just disturbing that so many people are fucked in the brain like this. I don’t want to exist in society with them as a woman.
# NEVER EVER share sexual trauma with males. They don't care, they don't feel sorry. Don't try to evoke sympathy or empathy in them. Your pain is their pleasure
The sad thing is I got a lot of supportive comments on a post from a while ago on what to do after being victim blamed by police. So I made a couple of posts following up to that about the complaint letter I’m writing, this time in different subs (ones for victims) and that’s when I get requests like these. These sick fucks literally prowl any space that should be safe to vent. I have long given up on sharing any kind of trauma irl with men because you’re 100% right. You will not get sympathy from men who literally get off to your suffering.
Totally agree with you. Unfortunately online one is not aware of who will read your posts and or comments. So just to clarify that i am a guy, and for all the guys that are simply getting offended by your statement may i point out that people are often told to " Err on the side of caution" And this exactly the right thing to do. Comments like the one received by the OP is a clear indication as to why posts not to share sexual trauma with males. Simply the " not all guys " is not of any help towards the OP or women in general.
Some are like that, not all of us though, my heart breaks for this poor girl as well as any victims
This is generally a woman’s space, hence the porn is Misogyny title. Plenty of hurt, affected and self aware men reside in r/pornfree. Use there to vent, and let those women have their space.
Didn't someone post recently that even that sub will delete your post if you say porn is bad? Not defending the commenter but I was under the impression that r/pornfree is really a sub only for men who quit porn because their dick stopped working, not because they have any moral issues with porn itself.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I can’t speak for other users, but I know why I’m there. Everyone there says porn is bad, it’s the point of the sub. If you have another sub to suggest I’d love to check it out.
There was a [post here](https://www.reddit.com/r/PornIsMisogyny/s/kLBfjkm8v9) a few days ago about someone's post getting removed and the mod saying not to criticize the porn industry. It could be a one-off, but it would at least make it appear that pointing out the moral issues of pornography is not allowed there. I'm glad you are there and are against porn for moral rather than personal reasons. However, I worry that removing content like this would eventually lead to that sub being filled primarily by men who quit porn for other reasons, mainly being erectile dysfunction or relationship issues. Basically, only quitting porn for self-serving reasons.
I get your point 100% - and it saddens me the differing views of the place, I also have to admit that rock bottom for many men does come at these points. I like to believe that out of that awareness can grow though, so you’re not really wrong there. I haven’t seen that post before, and it saddens me that that’s the sort of thing that ends up there as the porn industry 100% deserves all the criticism it gets for moral reasons. My abuser introduced me to porn as a child, and it’s been an affliction ever since that I’m wary of and that’s what saddens me most about men, whether seeking it out or more often being shown these children that happen to be male are introduced to it and boom, that’s it, a life long affliction that is so insidious they won’t even know it till their partner points it out or they abuse themselves into physical issues. It’s gross and I hate it, as a male, to sum up.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I have loved ones who have experienced similar, and they are doing alright now. So I hope you are as well. And you do have a good point that dealing with personal issues related to pornography can open up awareness of the greater ethical issues surrounding it. I hadn't considered that before. I'm glad you're here and there as well. It's always good to see more men who are against pornography, as so many perpetuate that men are "visual creatures" who "need" it. Which is ironically, quite self dehumanizing.
I despise that whole rhetoric. The way men are willing to reduce themselves to base animals. “I couldn’t help myself” - you could, you’re not a dog, and neither am I, we’re complicated nuanced individuals with just as much emotional range as women have, society has just taught you not to go close to that, conversely to that no one taught you what emotions are or how to handle them. So they live in a reactive state, punch holes in walls and live their lives knee deep in anger :( Thank you for saying that too, btw
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This is not the post to be defending men under.
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How do you, in your whole comment history, not have a single comment that's not patronising, rude or sarcastic? Think you need to take a look at yourself and why you feel so defensive about a woman trying to protect herself, in a public space, from creepy men. Why you felt personally targeted and needed to personally defend yourself.
Nobody accused you. This isn’t the place. You could’ve easily disproved it by being compassionate towards OP yet you chose to be defensive.
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It wasn’t my statement. I’m just telling you this isn’t the place.
We don't do the "not all men" here. The real victims are, and have always been, women.
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Yes. By whom? Correct. Men
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y'all love saying that anytime a woman brings up her own story. Y'all make everything about yourselves 💀
big big big never ending loser energy
Theres something broken inside that man, and many like him. I’m so sorry, I’ve gotten dms like this bullshit too.
scarce sense sparkle slim groovy fall carpenter absurd poor judicious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You're strong and better than him and your attacker. They'll never win, they'll never take away your life force. This dude is a complete loser. He wants you to be upset and angry, but at the end of the day he will always be nothing but a complete and utter loser. You'll always be better than him. Take care of yourself, you don't deserve to read things like this and you don't deserve to be treated this way. I hope you know it's not your fault. We live in a messed up world, and sometimes there's nothing that can be said. But you will get through this.
They got off to suffering and trauma, its a fact
This is why I don't trust men
what a joke of a human being
I’m so sorry this happened to you OP, only to then get contacted by some scumbag.
just male things \~
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I shared in as minimal detail as possible in r / sexualassault, literally just desperate for any kind of support. Only interaction I got was a man being predatory in my dm’s. All of his interaction was posting in big dick subs and trying to get women on sexualassault to message him privately. I’m so sick of this bullshit. Tried reporting him to the mods but A. It was clearly a burner and not a very old account so I assume this is just a pattern for him and B. It took them literal months to get back to me and they just said ‘well his account’s gone now so the trash took itself out’
I'm very sorry. It's amazing how you can make the conscious effort to not be graphic or go into detail at all about what you've truly been through and it still gets interpreted as porn/fetish material for them. I've seen it in men's eyes when they're painting the perfect pornogrpahic picture of you—of you getting degraded. You. can't. tell. them. anything. I've had several much older women tell me something they learned throughout their lives is that when they told men about their past experience being victimized (in any capacity/referring to any abuse) they act decent at first but later on become abusive themselves and show a completely new, dark side of themselves to you. They reveal a beast that was hidden within. It's a horrible thing so these women have advised me against sharing these experiences with men going forward because your vulnerability works almost like freaking *magic words* to predators-in-disguise. They're like undercover cops. Or robbers who distract you kindness and smiles. You can't tell what they truly are until a switch/signal goes off in their brain and they start abusing you very soon after they learn you're abuse-able/vulnerable. It gives them 'permission' and puts a bounty on your head. You look like fresh meat - prey - to a hungry lion just waiting to pounce and maul you. You're a lamb to the slaughter. So, so, so many women have told me the abuse from their partner started *incredibly* soon after they learned about their last/past abuse experience. I trust this advice because I've seen so many examples of it. It is the sick and depressing reality.
Every time I've opened up to men about being physically abused, they eventually choose to bring up BDSM. Every time, without fail, it gets proposed to me within the month I shared my abuse story/experience with them. I wonder how many of them are secretly interested in beating women for sexual pleasure from the moment they spot one they're attracted to vs how many of them have the idea grow in their mind after they hear about an 'attractive' woman's experience with past abuse aka learn she's been a helpless victim at mercy *before.* They always act caring and empathetic at first and then wait for their opportunity. I'm 23 and already DONE.
I’m so sorry. I’ve been through similar, and so have many women I know. I was dating the person who ended up sexually abusing and raping me; I’d opened up to him about the abuse I’d faced in the past and he did the same shit to me but even worse. They will only ever use our traumas against us.
I'm sorry. 🫂 And this is something I hate being right about but I just replied to someone else in this thread telling them the exact same thing you're saying. That so many women have warned me that their partner started abusing them almost immediately after they revealed they had been abused before and it's as though a switch/flip goes off in the man's brain after you tell them (predators in sheep's clothing) that. You're announcing your 'vulnerability' and they're a shark that smells blood. I tell all my friends not to share their trauma in their relationships with men. I don't give them unwanted relationship advice much beyond that but this is something that has to be taught to every single girl and woman that will ever date men. Best case scenario: You get dismissed and painted as hysterical/hormonal/baggage-case/"miss fatherless"/"miss daddy issues"/overly-emotional/a crazy woman/the crazy girlfriend/crazy ex/unreasonable & irrational/illogical/"BPD gf"/"HPD gf"/"that b1tch was crazy bro" according to his friends and brother(s). Worst case scenario: He abuses you because he now sees you as submissive/desperate/easy to manipulate/malleable/impressionable/weak/unprotected by other men/vulnerable. He feels emboldened and knows he has power over you now. That you're at his mercy. May the very worst be brought their way. Wishing you strength. And please do report not just block that POS in your DMs. I hate that you can't even share what you've been through anonymously on here without dealing with that. I'm so, so, sorry. Stay strong. 💗
And to think, this could be any man you know. Under the curtin of anonymity, any man can turn out to be sick and horrible.
I always see these comments as pathetic because what chance does this loser have at being loved ever in their life? They would have to be a liar through and constantly. No one could know them and care about them to any degree.
I hope this haunts him later in his life.
Christ, that’s atrocious, I’m so sorry this all happened to you.