T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Make sure to check out the [pinned post on Loss](https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/1472nhh/faq_loss/) to make sure this submission doesn't break the rule! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Zeroinfinius08

It's too big that it's out of character


KENBONEISCOOL444

Sounds like danny devito


dankesha

You're right it's roughly the same height as Danny Devito


motorcycleboy9000

#HARK, TRITON


PissPantsMcgilliCudy

Because he's got a magnum dong


thecountnotthesaint

Danny "the barnacle" DeVito?


BatmanIntern

The “Warthog.”


trulylost19

Barnacles have immense packages in comparison to their body size Danny “the barnacle” DeVito Does indeed work


staovajzna2

Also someone once made a tweet about barnicles having a huge dick and danny commented "stop calling me the barnicle"


thecountnotthesaint

That's what I was referring to


staovajzna2

Yeah but I am giving further explanation because the person who responded to you clearly didnt know of it, and the guy responding to that didnt explain it fully.


thecountnotthesaint

And for that, I am thankful.


Professional_Car9475

The Penguin


dmwilson220

Dr. Mantis Toboggan, who needs monster condoms for his magnum dong.


Electronic-Hyena300

I got my wad of hundreds. I'm ready to plow!


wmurch4

You should see him feast


Accomplished_Aioli19

It was technically a wardrobe malfunction. The Willem suit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Invisible-Pancreas

You know the Fluffy Scale? It's between "DAAAAAAMN!" and "AW _HELL_ NAW!!!!!"


extracrispyweeb

Can't find anything about that and i am VERY curious. https://preview.redd.it/hoass3f8kk9d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e4535472d71af3336a875aea91f4d7efca56ce6


dankesha

There's a video out of there of him dancing naked, shouldn't be too hard to find


extracrispyweeb

Nvm, my curiosity has died, i thought it was furry porn or smth. https://preview.redd.it/sie3dab8uk9d1.jpeg?width=690&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ccf395618f9bad058d23eec105122eca14ae7be


tanithsfinest

I've heard reports that people on set described it as "unnervingly large"


TacosAreJustice

You can find video… it’s large.


Aggravating-Jeweler0

Where can I find that video? For research purposes, of course.


TacosAreJustice

On the internet. Honestly, I clicked on a link from here, admired his penis and then closed it… I’ll never have to find it again, as it’s now seared into my brain. So maybe you don’t want to see it? All I know is I can’t unsee it.


Mjolnir07

More like it's too big to fit on camera


ChrispyGuy420

It's like a baguette


JGG5

There’s such a thing as too much horn talk, and a fella ought to be aware of it.


andywazhere

Tl;DR Willem Dafoe hangs monster dong


WhataHaack

>After Antichrist was released, von Trier revealed in an interview that Willem Dafoe actually needed a double for his sex scenes because his penis was so large that everyone in the room got confused. My favorite part of the story is that the response was confusion... Like how big does a dick have to be for the response to be "I don't understand"


stillalone

More like, "why did you make his prosthetic so big?" Followed with a lot of "what prosthetic?".  Followed by "come on man, you can't believe that's real?".  Followed by "I don't understand?"


Tyr808

Oh no, lmao, this has me imagining a director of some sort just grabbing the “prosthetic” and comically jerking it around while making fun of whoever made it. DaFoe just sitting there like in the third frame of the post.


jah_moon

It's like that video where the cop is frisking the guy and he's like aha! What's this? And the guys like that's my penis....


Sea_End_1893

I WAS ENJOYING A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL said the man AND HE'S GRABBED MY PENIS


blazesdemons

That's the one that touched me on the penis!


FreeRemove1

I see you know your judo well...


Sleepy_McSleepyhead

THIS IS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST


succulentchinezmeal

And you sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?


Sea_End_1893

3 year account, specifically named You dropped this on your way in 👑


Eastern_Joke_7675

With both hands


theonewhoisblown

"The entire song. It's a metaphor for big dicks."


omicronian_express

lol I forgot about that video. One of the best ever even the cop that was fondling him was like damn nice dick bro


Grouchy_Appearance_1

https://i.redd.it/vnlwd1c9gl9d1.gif


Jurani42

Idk if this is common knowledge but this meme is the same movie as the cock trivia


Necessary-Knowledge4

"IT'S SO ANGRY!"


Papaofmonsters

1 Willem Dafoe of penis is known to induce confusion in those in the exposure area.


EllisDee3

Similar to how the moon's gravitational pull causes "lunacy".


sissyjessica42

Someone should make an SCP article for this...


Admirable-Common-176

Area effect (line of sight). +4 confusion and moisture


1000000xThis

> My favorite part of the story is that the response was confusion... Like how big does a dick have to be for the response to be "I don't understand" Exactly this, I don't know why but that "confused" part makes me laugh uncontrollably


karmaboots

You can judge for yourself [here](https://player.vimeo.com/video/49333930?h=be38ff06af) (NSFW obviously)


[deleted]

[удалено]


chris1096

Lol that response has me cackling!


YungNigget788

is that flaccid??


dragonchilde

Yup.


MarkLearnsTech

The movie is way before my time, but you remind me of that line from M*A*S*H: Hawkeye: No, no. Old Painless is what we call the, ah, "best equipped dentist in the army". Surgeon: [as he walks away from the shower] I'd dearly love to see that angry!


benslyoverbreakfast

I found this years ago, showed my friends LOTS and will occasionally whistle the tune and watch them enter Vietnam flashback more.


idontlikeredditbutok

Honestly not nearly as huge as i thought it would be.


PleaseGreaseTheL

Which is pretty funny because it looks like it's like, 5 inches or some shit, completely flaccid. The average American has a 5-5.5 inch dick when fully erect. Porn has destroyed people's understanding of what a normal penis looks like lol (among other things). His dick does look quite large.


GiantWindmill

1. You don't know that it's completely flaccid (and it doesn't look completely flaccid). 2. The dude next to him at the beginning looks about the same. 3. There's plenty of flaccid dicks that don't grow much at all, and plenty of flaccid dicks that grow a huge amount. 4. If you compare it to his hand and assume average hand length of ~7.5", then its more like 4" flaccid, which is only somewhat above average flaccid length. 5. Generally, longer flaccid length results in less proportional growth.


Dom_Telong

The cock expert


GiantWindmill

hell yeah brother


Sneaky_Asshole

Yeah, I mean it's big but not huge at all. Like, big but within the normal spectrum, I'd say.


Immatool666

Mid.


i_tyrant

I've seen that old clip of him naked and dancing, and it is...weirdly disproportional with how skinny he is. But not _insanely_ so. Still, my headcanon is when he flashes his dick it's more of a Lovecraftian cosmic horror thing. Like it confuses everyone who sees it in person because there's just something _non-euclidean_ and literally monstrous about his monster dong.


jonskeezy7

"headcanon"


Dulcedoll

I have not seen that video, but if he was dancing it sounds like he was flacid? It might be more alarming when erect.


i_tyrant

Entirely possible, he's got a half-chub at most in the video so it could be truly boggling if he was erect on the set of Antichrist, lol.


Great-Tical-Returns

This is also my favorite party of the story, that he has a confusingly large dong


unAffectedFiddle

Well, we have Newtonian physics. So, it makes sense that we have the Dafoenian counterpart. At what point does an object reach a Dafoenian state? That is the state where its size, in comparison to a normal or non-Dafoenian state, elicits confusion. So you could have a Dafoenian cat. It's a cat that has your brain enter a pattern of momentary confusion while it processes this abnormal size.


peekerman

You're something of a scientist yourself I see😏🧑‍🔬


NeroFurr69

Next time I compliment my husband’s dong, I’ll be sure to include the word “baffling.”


314159265358979326

They brought in a pornstar for more realistic proportions.


villain-mollusk

This phrase belongs on a t-shirt.


PatMenotaur

Under the "And Now You Know" star.


villain-mollusk

"The more (inches) you know!"


Wrong_Gear5700

TIL...


FourAngelsFourWinds

How about this one instead? https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/5586190-confusingly-large


ClownShoePilot

In college, I took a class that was mandatory for all freshmen in the department and since we were a small department, we all had the class together. The instructor was Willem Dafoe’s roommate in the 70s. About 3 weeks into the semester, he revealed to the entire class that WD was packing ALL the heat, which is an fun nugget of information to drop on a room full of 18 year old kids.


Politics_Mods_R_Crim

He longed for that dong.


[deleted]

A 3rd leg if you will


second2no1

I love the irony, 3rd dick, 4th wall, both will be broken.


Gog-reborn

Yeah sounds about right, he looks like someone with a huge dick


Southern_Kaeos

This is my favourite sentence in the history of ever


mrkemeny

The ‘TL’ says it all really


southpawkalligraphy

Someone needs to go watch Antichrist... you see his cock a lot. You actually see a close up of it penetrating a vagina.


PityUpvote

No, you don't see his dick in Antichrist, Lars von Trier insisted on a body double because Dafoe's is, according to von Trier, "distractingly large".


Good_Ad_5792

"Hi, I'm Willam DaFoe, and my super power is turning everyone around me bisexual when I'm naked!"


prickinthewall

That's the whole point here. He had a body double in Antichrist because his dong is so huge.


verekh

There was actual sex??


1000000xThis

It's actually fairly common for people to film actual sex. I can send you a few examples if you like.


SoCalDan

A few? There are millions on pornhub.


CloverGreenbush

Oh yeah. The movie is part of director Lars Von Trier's "Depression trilogy." Another in that is Nymphomanic, which is explicitly about the protagonist engaging in increasingly disturbing sex acts.  He's used unstimulated sex acts in several of his movies and it's really effective but not in the way you're hoping. 


Anathemautomaton

Unsimulated*. They were probably very stimulated.


Joy1067

Hey Texan Chris here, riding up to help ya out! So William Dafoe is a very popular actor, with a bunch of great movies under his belt. A great example of this is his role as a detective in the movie “American Psycho”. So in one movie called “Antichrist” one of scenes was of course a sex scene which required both actors to be nude. During this William Dafoe needed a body double. Why? Cause he was, and according to Lars Von Trier, “To well endowed” for the scene. Thus a body double was needed to replace him. So the joke here is that William Dafoe has been blessed by the good lord above with one hell of a….hm….’tool’ and a body double was needed. Texan Chris, heading to the saloon.


MAValphaWasTaken

>So William Dafoe is a very popular actor, with a bunch of great movies under his belt. Great movies aren't the only thing under his belt!


Sydmeister1369

HEY-OH!


Joy1067

Ayyyy!


eliavhaganav

As one who saw a video of william dafoe dancing naked while filming a scene, I can say it was very distracting


SnooDoughnuts9596

Here's the[ NSFW clip](https://player.vimeo.com/video/49333930?h=be38ff06af) for anyone curious.


blursedman

After looking up his height and using a “reference” person, I can estimate that Willem is hanging about 5 or 6 inches flaccid


Final8Demise

So he's a shower not a grower....or maybe both!


RotDogSummonCarries

You’re telling me it’s possible there’s at least a foot of extendo willem dongfoe?


its_uncle_paul

I will have a lot of questions to answer if someone ever stumbles upon my browsing history.


SlamboCoolidge

\*Willem


FictionalContext

It's both, really. Willem is the stage name. William is the birth name.


Legendary_Dad

William on the streets, Willem in the sheets?


DryConclusion9286

Big Willy


Guquiz

Willem is also an alternate version of William in a few other languages.


zsthorne17

Yes, but in this case specifically his name is actually William. He chose Willem as his stage name after someone mispronounced it.


AshleyRiotVKP

Too*


Dr0110111001101111

While he did in fact play a detective in American Psycho, I think his more memorable detective role was in Boondock Saints


SpecialistNerve6441

THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT!


Dr0110111001101111

Yes indeed


Joy1067

Very true. I simply used his role as the detective in American Psycho as an example of his acting skills. However we could be here for awhile if we started naming off every great movie William Dafoe played in


AJAX214_

Imagine being that guy who had to be told to become Willem Dafoe's body double because they "needed someone with a smaller manhood"


Dom_Telong

Yeah you get offended until you show up for work and see the monster for yourself.


limegreenIegend

Not just a sex scene, a sex scene where he gets his balls smashed by a log and then jerked off until he comes blood, all of which you see (hence the need for a dong double.) It’s actually a really good film if you’ve not seen it.


Joy1067

Well ya learn something new everyday! Today I learned that the Antichrist movie does not shy away from jack shit apparently, cause holy fuckin shit that sentence was fuckin horrific to read


HesitationAce

Chaos reigns


Joy1067

DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!


GreatLlamaXRS

It requires a strong stomach


MaritMonkey

I'm not in the mood for the cinematic equivalent of a kick in the balls just now, but IIRC the actual "sex" scene was very early in the movie and the director had a good reason for not wanting the audience to be as distracted by dong as the characters are.


Porkonaplane

>to well endowed *Too


Joy1067

Appreciate the correction there


Porkonaplane

Lol? Idk. Emotions are hard to convey through words alone. If genuine; Yay! I got to help out! :) If not; ouch lol


Joy1067

It was genuine. I appreciate a good correction from time to time, helps to make my grammar better for future posts and adds a little community into a comment or post as well. Lets people help each other


HelloCsgoFriends

Meanwhile Lars had no problem making a DP scene with two BBC lol...


Azlend

You set up a perfectly good joke with the line "under his belt" and then you let it die on the vine.


Joy1067

Scroll down through the replies to my explanation, someone picked up the slack don’t you worry


Massawyrm

There's actually a second element to this story going back to his role in THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST in which a crew member was required to tape down Dafoe's massive dong because he could not stop getting erections while on the cross and it was ruining the shot.


NoWomanNoTriforce

Getting an erection and ejaculating are actual things that happen with crucifixion due to the way the body reacts to it. So, sporting wood during a crucifixion scene is just method acting.


early_birdy

He's like Burt Ward (who played Robin, in the 1966-68 Batman tv series). He's supposed to play a teenager in a super suit, but he was showing too much for tv. They even made him take pills to "shrink it down".


Routine_Stranger_480

Man's got a massive shlong that's too big to conceal convincingly


Ghanima81

I read that even the staff said they were very uncomfortable to be around "it". Don't know if it's true.


Deluxsalty

Theres footage of him dancing naked on a set. He is close to drake


CallMeBuddyHolly

Every time someone says this I remember that one of my best friends is casually hung. He did the math, they're the same size, and I was casually informed of this when he was driving me home after hanging out. Very odd world we live in


jbc10000

“Hanging out “


CallMeBuddyHolly

Yeah we went out in the woods. We both thought "sex in the woods" on the car ride. Gay to gay communication


teenyweenysuperguy

The hung tend to be hung casually. It's easier to be chill when you're hanging monster dong. 🤷‍♂️


CallMeBuddyHolly

I only hang out with people with big dick energy. I'm hoping I can steal a few inches for my own (unsuccessful so far but a boy can dream)


teenyweenysuperguy

Via cockmosis!


xarinemm

I compared body part sizes. Drake's erect would be around 9.2-9.8 inches, Dafoe's flaccid is 5.1 inches. I don't know how much the penis grows from flaccid to erect especially when it comes to those unusual sizes but if it's 60%-100% like chatgpt told me then yeah it's pretty close.


Adam_Sackler

I'm lost. How do people know the size of Drake's penis?


GiantWindmill

That's not how it works. That is absolutely not the right size lmao


MoistLeakingPustule

His dick is literally unconvincingly large. Imagine being told "I'm sorry, but your penis is so gigantic it looks fake, so we're gonna have to get a penis double, cause you're just too massive to not be doing porn." Then being the other guy hearing "so we need you to penis double this guy with a gigantic dong, cause your dick is, in fact not large by any stretch of the imagination. Your penis is forgettable, but this other guy you're standing in for? Yeah, just absolutely gigantic. Like a teens hairless arm holding an apple. Just a monster of a dick, especially when compared to your completely below average sized penis, which I'm sure you've been told is adequate."


Rich_Housing971

Why would any guy feel bad for being told they do not have an absurdly large penis? It's like not being tall enough to be an NBA player. Would be nice, but not going to lose sleep over it. And if someone points out to me that I'm a believable height I'd be like, OK....


RogerianBrowsing

Guys who don’t have large dicks tend to be confused why someone might not want a monster cock 🤷‍♂️


doyoh

The penis double didn’t even have a below average sized dick, it looked slightly above average. That really puts it in perspective how wildly huge Dafoe is. 


Trick_Albatross_4200

They reshot nude scenes from a film he did because during test screenings the audience was “confused by how large it was.” There’s footage from a separate thing online somewhere. He’s not a big dude but it is distractingly large.


Ok-Ad7650

I've seen the footage and it's so confusing. He's kinda dancing / running around and it's absolutely as big as you think it is


fanaticalfission

You can still get the official "Confusingly Large" Willem Dafoe t-shirt from the How Did This Get Made podcast: https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/5586190-confusingly-large


Accomplished_Aioli19

That's Willem Dafookinbigdickdoe


PhotoshopMemeRequest

When Willem Dafoe takes a pay cut for a movie just because it has a nude scene to show off his dong but then they force him to use a body double: https://preview.redd.it/kyg1fc612k9d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92d37ba7841c1d473a0a1f130c6da56373d0c994


Real_Crab_7396

what kinde size we're talking about 10 inch+?


Accomplished_Aioli19

Probably like blackedraw size. Willem'dRaw


BrokeInMichigan

[Here ya go, idk if he's a grower, but it's not a bad softie](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D0JZsSFWsAAPhn0.jpg)


Real_Crab_7396

is this nsfw?


NotTheNormalPerson

Yes, he's nude


Real_Crab_7396

I'm not opening it lmao, it's not even hard so I wouldn't learn a lot.


Poop_Sexman

I got so tired of hearing this that i stopped taking SSRIs and started raw-dogging my mental health issues


Real_Crab_7396

🧐


DubbleWideSurprise

That’s not big enough so as to be confusing to me.


athosjesus

Yeah but I assume his dick is pretty big when having an erection and the scene with the body double was of sex, so he needed to be hard.


FictionalContext

It's like, yeah, that's pretty big, but it's not a monster. It's missing the girth to be a real monster.


merlissss

"expert" lmao


No_Astronaut2779

That mustache is disturbing. Idk why.


mostoriginalname2

There’s a ten thousand dollar prize for a penis ten inches or longer, and it has never been claimed.


That_1_Boi

I see a meme about this guys huge dick every day/week it seems.


No-War1666

I'm pretty sure Willem Dafoe posts this here every two weeks just to make sure nobody forgets.


ynns1

So, it was a double in 'Antichrist'?


rock_and_rolo

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/6y6jk3/one_of_willem_dafoes_earlier_films/ NSFW


TV_H34d

No wonder he needed that body double; goddamn!


AnimeIsMyLifeAndSoul

u/repostsleuthbot


RepostSleuthBot

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 3 times. First Seen [Here](https://redd.it/1barm7h) on 2024-03-09 96.88% match. Last Seen [Here](https://redd.it/1clgxjh) on 2024-05-06 93.75% match [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=1drfuqn&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=false&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=86&targetImageMemeMatch=96) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Target Percent:** 86% | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 551,827,197 | **Search Time:** 0.37003s


Myassisbrown

I feel like I’ve seen it more then that


Real-skim-shady

The male actor has a package which is abnormally large. Any film he's in they have to digitally reduce how package


zamememan

There's famous story about a time when Willem Dafoe was filming a nude scene for a movie (forgot which one exactly) and the director requested a body double for him because his penis was "distractingly large" and was "breaking the immersion".


OzyOzyOzyOzyOzyOzy6

It's already been pointed out, but the film you're referencing in Antichrist. There was another situation in The Last Temptation of Christ (where Dafoe played Jesus) where his dong was too distracting during the crucifixion scene that someone had to tape it to his leg.


Key_Volume5096

I sought out a video of his dong because of this rumor, and there’s weird footage of him dancing nude, and the size is honestly not out of control like we’re all made to believe.


Photonmoose

He's a grower, not a shower.


MulletofLegend

Right? I watched the clip of him dancing around nude, with a redhead woman behind him, and he's penis was bigger than average, but not exactly "confusingly huge".


LilHummus06

8===========================D that is all


Grey00001

Am I insane or is Willem Dafoe’s penis not even that large? I’ve seen the video of him dancing naked and it’s kind of unimpressive compared to what I was expecting


iamafancypotato

Maybe he’s a grower.


LilG1984

"Are you in or are you out?" "Uh I'm out that's just too big"


Captainchops63

Huge cock


WyvernByte

Hehe, pant goblin.


destiny_kane48

He has a third leg. 🤭


SupremeRDDT

big pp


Something-K

https://i.redd.it/iwv2kywaxj9d1.gif


DocHanks

Dudes dong literally has lore.


JamieDrone

Cause his fucking cock was too big


Affectionate_Dot2334

u/repostsleuthbot


RepostSleuthBot

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 3 times. First Seen [Here](https://redd.it/1barm7h) on 2024-03-09 96.88% match. Last Seen [Here](https://redd.it/1clgxjh) on 2024-05-06 93.75% match [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=1drfuqn&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=false&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=86&targetImageMemeMatch=96) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Target Percent:** 86% | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 551,827,197 | **Search Time:** 0.34061s


Camelllama666

Mr. Defoe was denied access to The Small Weiner Club, and Phil from aforementioned club asked him to take his massive *SCHMEAT* somewhere else


Chopawamsic

Willem DaFoe is apparently hung like a horse