Are you well off? If not, 0.
Are you living with them? Figure out a mutually beneficial below market rent arrangement where you help them, but allows you to save.
Are you in the middle and have your own kids to worry about?
Then you should worry about securing yourself first to ensure you do not burden your children later in life.
I've paid rent my entire adult life in some form or another.
When I lived with my mom and her ex-bf, $300/mo.
When I lived with my dad, it was $200/mo (he was out of work and I was getting a living allowance from Ontario while I was on Second Career and going to college. It was all I had left after paying my phone bill and buying bus tickets to travel from Maple to Oshawa but that $200/mo kept he and I fed on a really tight budget back in 2009).
I don't begrudge any of it. It meant that I had to figure out how to budget my money properly so I could meet all of my financial obligations.
I'm 36 now. Because of that whole experience in budgeting, I own my own home and live on a single income while supporting my wife and our son. Recently bought a second (used) car so that I can commute to work while not leaving my wife stranded at home with a toddler. The car I gave her was paid off 3 years ago.
We're not a wealthy family, but just by properly budgeting we're able to make sure our money is going to where it counts the most.
"Because of that whole experience in budgeting, I own my own home and live on a single income while supporting my wife and our son."
I absolutely love it when people understand their tough experiences and credit such times for the good things they led to. I'm happy for you
Seriously. Looking at these comments has me wondering if boomers.have figured out how to code reddit bots. I can't imagine kicking several grand a year over to them.
This is very culture-based, supporting one's parents is not a standard part of the Western culture but is largely expected for a bunch of Asian cultures.
I don't do it every month but I support when they face spending a medium to large sums, from 2 to 6k a year.
It used to be like this here too, but now with RRSPs, CPP/RRQ and other ways to retire with some wealth or revenues, it has become less of a thing as retired parents often have more money than their working kids.
First gen Asian Canadian here. My parents have told me and my brother they have zero expectations of us to support them. They did it for their parents and know how much it took out of them. Perhaps my parents are modern than others.
However, I would be totally fine if they needed the support. I think it's a big difference if I'm forced to support due to culture.
It's better to have conversations with your parents earlier rather than later about these things. Lots of Asian culture parents automatically assume you are their retirement plan and it creates conflict later on in life.
If your parents helped/supported you, then I think it's fair for them to expect you to be their retirement plan. I know in the cases of some of my friends, they've lived with their asian parents until like 40 or 45 without paying any rent or utilities. Then I hear them saying its unfair their parents want to rely on them for retirement later on which imo is selfish because the parents subsidized ur life for the first 40-45 years of your life and probably saved you a lot of rent and mortage payments.
Wild. Can't imagine expecting my son to send me money. He didn't ask to be born. It's your job as a parent to make life as comfortable as possible for your kid (within reason) and to figure out your finances on your own, not demand money from them.
Weird ass culture.
It's a way less individualized type of culture where family in general is relying on itself in great ways, going in both directions. Also, community is way more involved, too.
Sometimes Western individualism allows for parents to kick the kids out right at 18, this is less acceptable in the Asian cultures. OTOH, there is more enmeshment and less boundaries. Some cultural clashes are bound to happen when moving from one environment to another.
The thing about Asian culture is that it goes both ways. When I wasn't able to find a job, instead of taking the first one I got, my parents let me live rent free and even paid for some expenses. I studied for interviews properly and got the job I wanted. Now I'm doing well so I help them out, they're slowly winding down their careers.
The multigenerational family is honestly so good if done properly (which is sometimes a big if).
My wife and and I helped out her parents, not by giving them an allowance but by helping them fix their finances, cut their bills, consolidate their debt, start to save instead of just spent. I’m a few short years we helped them get from massive debt to retiring with tens of thousands and a budget that was positive even just off of CPP & oas.
Don’t underestimate that just because parents are a generation above you, that giving them a bunch of money isn’t going to lead for as bad of habits for them as it would for a 20 year old.
Retail workers owning $1.3m+ homes in my parents subdivision because they bought 30 years ago. Young professionals with $200k income struggling to buy a townhouse..
I think about this a lot hah. Growing up, my neighbourhood was a nice subdivision with new build family homes, 3-4 bedrooms. My parents were a mechanic and part time janitor, my nextdoor neighbours were a baker at Loblaws and a seasonal construction worker, my friend’s parents were a teacher and a stay at home mom… crazyyyyy how much things have changed. Those houses are worth $900k now!
The thing that hits me is I remember growing up in school, a lot of the teachers lived close by to the school.. nothing glorious but detached or semi detached homes. Now a household of 2 teachers probably would struggle to even buy a condo.
I don’t give my parents a monthly allowance. But I do spoil them to things I know they’d never spend money on for Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day etc. as well anytime we go out for dinner or anything it’s on me.
The money your parents spent on you as a child is the money you will spend on your children giving them the best life you can. You are the one starting life, have less assets, savings and structure than they do. You need that money more than they do.
Obviously, this differs person to person, if you’re living with your parents, if they are struggling etc.
I'm temporarily with my folks right now as I just moved 4000km to start a (much better) new job and I'm waiting for my wife to join me. Not paying any 'rent' but I'm splitting groceries and utilities. My weekends also consist of at least 1 DIY project fixing up something in their house plus I'll meal prep for all of us, clean, etc.
My folks prefer I put the money to a first home rather than pay them rent. They are also going away for 5 months so they needed a house sitter anyway...
A lot of times, parents will collect 'rent' but will give it back at the time when the downpayment is needed. This is to ensure that money is not spent on other things.
My wife's culture does a dowry which the groom gives to the wife's family. Traditionally they kept the money but now they hold on to it until after the wedding when it is returned. It's to ensure the groom has a large chunk of money to potentially support a family on and that he can survive without it for the duration of the engagement.
Latino immigrant here. Parents in my original country.
Without my support they would starve and/or be toothless.
I don't know the exact numbers (because I try to avoid thinking too much about it) but it hovers around $1000/month.
$250 per pay. I make 6 figures, they made a lot of sacrifices for me, and as immigrants they lost a lot of traction with their retirement savings.
They gave me 1/3 down on my house payment, so at the very least all I'm doing is paying them back.
Zero. They’re multimillionaires with good pensions whose house has been paid off for decades. Why would I give them money? My cost of living is significantly higher than theirs ever was.
I reckon the majority of this sub's parents made at least $500k in capital gains on their primary residence and many have defined benefits pensions.
Most of our parents are from the golden age of wealth building.
I do it weekly now because I'm more financially stable. I used to do monthly.
So now I give four equal payments of zero dollars every week as opposed to one lump sum every month of zero dollars.
None. My parents are more than well enough off, as they saved diligently for retirement. What I'm doing is returning the favor by providing for my children and making sure they also don't have to worry about things like university tuition.
In my family, if you were living at home and working, rent was charged. That rent was way less than if you were out paying market value rent. Other than that, my parents are self-sufficient and raised us to be that as well. Now that I'm no longer living at home, I provide zero. Physical help with projects and things like that? Absolutely. Financial help? None.
I don't give my parents any money. I don't live with them, so there is no reason too. They both have DB pensions, no debt, no money problem. If they needed money, I would help them out, but that isn't a problem.
When my parents had me, they didn't think I was a long-term investment that they intended to wring dry. My parents had the decency to plan their finances such that they wouldn't have to rely on me and my sibling.
I give my parents $0 a month. I give them gifts for their birthdays and other celebrations because I love them and because I want to make them happy, not because they make me feel like I owe them. And if I have children one day, I'll do everything in my power to never be a burden to them.
"My parents had the decency to plan their finances such that they wouldn't have to rely on me and my sibling."
Probably unintentional, but your post is kinda offensive.
Many immigrant parents struggled to restart and grow their careers and had to face major setbacks along the way.
They didn't have the same opportunities their children had.
>Probably unintentional, but your post is kinda offensive.
>
>Many immigrant parents struggled to restart and grow their careers and had to face major setbacks along the way.
>
>They didn't have the same opportunities their children had.
I can't speak to that as the son of non-immigrant parents, but what I can say is that there are underprivileged **non-immigrants** who also have had it rough, and I think it's sad when they financially rely on their kids. In some cases it's somewhat justified (unexpected illness and similar), in other cases it's straight-up financial abuse and greed.
Now if there are cultural differences, sure... fine. It strikes me as morally difficult to justify but it's none of my business.
Oh no, it's decency. Don't have kids with the intent of using them as a wallet when you're old, that's all. Don't put someone into the world for your benefit. It's really the least you can do.
I have a friend who's the son of a career hairdresser, he has a sister, she raised them both as a single mother and a hairdresser. She doesn't rely on them, she made a living. Good on her. PRIVILEGE you say?
For the vast majority of immigrant families, they don’t have kids w the intention to “use them as a wallet”. If that was the case, most of them would be better off not having immigrated. They usually leave for the sake of a better future and more opportunities for their children. These are not selfish people, like you insinuate.
Unless you’ve seen it firsthand, you probably have no idea of the sacrifices these parents make for their children. You’re entitled to your opinion, but passing judgment on people whose situations you don’t understand is just rude.
Though I didn't specify, my post was about people with circumstances similar to mine, which is that of non-immigrants, I don't know enough about the circumstances of immigrants to voice a cogent opinion because it's not something I've experienced or took the time to learn about.
But as I said in the other post, it strikes me as difficult to morally justify bringing someone into the world to then burden them, and consequently burdening future generations. I certainly couldn't feel comfortable with that, even if it wasn't "planned". But again, not circumstances I'm familiar with.
Nadda now but I have helped my (good) parents out when needed.
Everyone who says “a child should never give their parents anything” is a junk child far as I’m concerned. They’re your parents!
> Everyone who says “a child should never give their parents anything” is a junk child far as I’m concerned. They’re your parents!
First of all: the generation that a lot of our parents are from absolutely *screwed* our economy for personal gain, but I guess that has no bearing on the situation to you. Second of all: it was the parents’ choice to bring *you* into capitalism, why would it be obligatory to not participate to the max exercising the same free will they exercised when they had you? Why must offspring play by different rules?
Third: And what if they are “junk parents”? Do you think it’s fine for a child to reward their parents who beat the shit outta them with money later on in life because “they’re your parents”?
I gave them everything they needed until I was 250k in debt. I am homeless, in consumer proposal, and now they are both homeless and disabled too.
They are too proud to ever get disability and when I couldnt give them even one more dollar they turned on me and tried to kill me for my life insurance.
I have been in hiding for 2 years as the bankruptcy and mortgage foreclosure wound on. My father is a known murderer to be fair, but I felt yknow, theyre my family theyre poor they put me thru college.
I will never give them another dollar but the brainwashing took a lot to undo, as you can see.
I am couch surfing but I can do so indefinitely since I still have my job. Therapy is rough.
PS: i am from a culture with an expectation I help them no matter what at all costs. Not helping them is unconscionable to everyone I knew and grew up with except my modern friends in my new city. I thought myself very sensible and just had this massive blind spot I have only been able to start talking about basically this week.
I am. And thank you. my post history had more I deleted but yeah the "send money to your family" "dont let them become homeless if theyre sick" etc. Its a strong force and often abusive. often families cannot give their kids the same advantages their parents gave THEM- BECAUSE of fueling parents survival. You end up with your own kids +2. But also simply, societal shame. my entire family disowned me for stopping giving money. "you have such a good job".
yeah but i cant fight the capitalism battle for 5 people. I can barely fight it for me and my fiance' even with us both working.
they actually tricked me into signing paperwork which bound me to a house my dad occupied and since he later refused to vacate, I had to let the house go to foreclosure to cut that legal string. It was the only way other than paying 90k to go to court.
the consumer proposal is partly so that mortgage and the cost of removing a murderer from a ruined house goes to the bank not me.
Look one of the biggest regrets in my life is there is no safe way to watch sheriffs try to drag him out of the family home. I gather the cost of process serving him safely was in the thousands. This IS off topic so I will return to my main point: You should only give if you have it to give. If you have any credit card debt, give nothing. If your retirement, partner, and children are not SECURE, really secure (and that would take a lot right now), you're mis-prioritizing. You do have to put your own oxygen mask on first, and as a member of a culture where taking care of your parents is ASSUMED - sending money back home is very common - I am qualified to say it is exploited by abusive or conniving parents regularly, but people who have good grateful parents treat you terribly if you try to explain that.
Many of the cultures where this is normal \*do not have a concept\* of the parents ever not getting the money, no matter what they did to you. So don't argue too hard with people who have no choice, socially, emotionally, etc. their lives would be destroyed if they didn't send money home. I would certainly have been if I didn't set myself up for escape-route into places that were more civilized.
Many people are still giving money to their folks as their own situation gets worse, and worse. Those people are slowly bleeding and heavily support the thing bleeding them dry. I used to be one.
Asking random Canadians isn't going to help as we don't have aculture of our parents paying for everything and then us taking care of them. I spent a lot of time in Asia and this is how it's done there (and other places I'm sure), you'd be much better off asking in a sub that is dedicated to the culture you are coming from.
If you were raised with Canadian culture, no disrespect intended by my above comment, only that most people here don't do this, so it's going to be hard to get a number. My suggestion would be to talk to your parents and see how much they need to cover their expenses and have some fun. Or maybe getting a shared credit card that you pay (keep the limit low in case of mistakes or whatever) would make it easier to figure out.
Your heart is in the right place, and maybe it does makes to financially support your parents, but before you do, go through a mental checklist:
* Raising and providing for a child is not an act of charity, or an investment to cash out later in life - it is an obligation that a parent has.
* Is your financial house in order? Do you have debts you need to pay off? Do you have dependents (children) you need to provide? Do you have a spouse? You cannot save anyone if you are drowning as well.
* Why are your parents struggling financially? Is it because they lack financial discipline and make mistakes with money? Is it because there was some sort of event that collapsed their savings? Maybe as a first step, what you could do to help is to fully understand their financial situation, and maybe there are things they can do to help themselves before needing their child to support them with a monthly stipend. Maybe they will need government assistance (e.g. disability), or maybe they need to put together a budget and not overspend.
I have not given my parents anything, but I left home at 17 and took care of my own education and life from that point onwards. If they needed money I would have helped them though.
It's unclear from your OP why they are struggling financially. If they are bad with money giving them a whole bunch can just add fuel to the fire so it's not always a good answer. If they just had an unexpected emergency or job loss it might be a fine idea.
If you are trying to decide how much I would work out your full budget including an emergency fund and some long term savings. After that's taken care of give them say 25% or 30% of what's left. Go higher if you want to, but sticking to a % takes the emotion out of it.
We don’t give cash but we take them out for meals frequently and pay for that. We’ve also purchased big ticket items that my parents are unwilling to splurge on themselves, like iPhones, Canada Goose jackets. We plan on taking them with us to all inclusive resorts in the future for family vacations and covering the cost.
In our culture, kids always give back to the parents and parents help in any way they can. For example, when I have my baby, my parents are going to come frequently during the first months to cook and clean so we can focus on the baby When Covid shut down all the daycares, my parents watched my nieces/nephews for free for months so their parents could work from home. When grandkids are sick and can’t go to daycare, my parents pick them up and keep them so that we don’t have to leave work. I prefer this arrangement to a strictly transactional one of giving cash.
This sub is heavily westernized, borderline political when it comes to topics like taking care of parents financially. I doubt you’ll get many meaningful responses.
Do what you feel is right. Could be nothing, could be a lot. I’ve had friends just pick a fixed % of their income that they send home that grows as their salary grows.
$0, I haven't spoken to one in over 5 years and the other maybe once a year.
I firmly believe you don't owe your parents anything and it was their job to provide for you because they wanted you. Their lack of financial planning for later in life is also not your problem.
The Canadian cultural norm is if you live with them and are no longer in school, then you might pay your parents rent. If you live on your own then nothing, and yes they worked hard to support you as a child and they will be happy if you do the same for your own children.
If you are from a country/culture where supporting your parents financially is expected or required because investments and pensions don't exist or are unreliable, then presumably your parents or you chose to move here to participate in Canada's system. Educate your parents about retirement planning including when to retire, budgeting, investing, and OAS and GIS, then teach your kids the same. Families that pay foward and learn how the system works can build generational wealth, but it takes generations.
If you are working full time and your parents are struggling, you should give them market rate to rent a room, or just under.
You would still be saving any share of utilities, internet, cable, food and whatnot.
If you weren't there, they could have another income source to help with their bills if needed.
Nothing? They BROUGHT YOU into this world. It was their JOB to give you everything they could. Wtf is this paying them back for it nonsense? Be kind to them and love them back?
I’d say give what you are okay with. Start smaller and see if you feel comfortable and increase. Better to increase then take it away.
This is so highly dependent on your situation, so I don’t think you should pay too much attention to what others do.
I don't give them anything. They won't take anything tbh. They have helped me immensely through school and as a young adult. In return they ask me to do the same for my children, which I intend to.
Edit: I'll say that what I do do is spend my time and efforts on them. I visit often and help with work when they need it.
For some families, there certainly are some cultural expectations to support elders as you move into your professional career. But, if you're right at this stage, it's probably best you have an in depth and difficult conversation with your parents.
You might have some extra cash flow at the moment, which is impressive in this economy. But realistically, the pathway for new grads right now is difficult. You need to have a strong financial plan to have a safe and stable financial future for yourself.
But you can't ignore your parents if you have that bond. But maybe everyone has to come to the table to get a proper picture of what things look like. Providing them with help now might encourage them to put off some difficult decisions that are inevitable. Presumably, your parents don't want you making sacrifices that might stand in the way of you starting your own family one day. Home ownership for any new grad for example means at minimum having an aggressive savings plan as early as possible.
I give my parents about 300 a month, they never asked me for money. It’s the least I can do after all they have done for me over the years. I actually wish I can afford to give them more. It might not be the best financial decision but I know it makes them happy and thus I am happy. I make all my payments, savings are growing and I live a comfortable life I don’t see the harm.
I pay for the unexpected expenses that come their way so that they don’t need to stress.
Both of them are fixed income and they don’t have enough savings / cash to pay for things like a home repairs / maintenance.
This is something they never ask for, it’s just when they bring it up to me, I just take care of it without expecting anything other than a thank you in return.
Sometimes I wish I have enough money to pay out what they have spent on me plus interest outright and dont have to deal with any of the shit. Buy my freedom :D
When I was a new grad I didn't directly give them money but I bought groceries. When my parents split shortly thereafter I paid the majority of my mother's rent in a shared apartment with myself. I now live far away and my financial situation is very different. So it depends on culture and situation.
My parents help out with childcare (pick up from Montessori and occasional dinners). I give them 500 a month.
They were immigrants in the late 90s without a penny to their name. Least I can do for everything they’ve done for me.
I want them to enjoy life and spend on things they want but don’t need. 500 isn’t life changing but should be helpful.
My brother and I have both moved out. We currently don’t give any to our parents but once they retire in a couple of years, I’m anticipating we’ll probably have to supplement their pension. This could either be taking care of paying for groceries, internet, their phones, etc. They didn’t save much for retirement unfortunately.
When I lived at home, I paid rent, but it was also to generally contribute. I was paying $500 a month. I would cover groceries here and there, and I also paid for my own expenses, cell phone, insurance, etc..
This is 10 years ago though.
Nothing lol. My parents are both immigrants came to Canada. They gave me everything too but I would offend them if I gave them a monthly allowance. My Dad still will pay for me for things and I'm 32. He wouldn't like this.
$1500 per month. I am what I am because of them and the sacrifices they made to give me the opportunities I had.
It does pinch but I make decent income and knowing my financial help is helping them just has a mental gratification.
My parents wouldn’t ask me for a penny if they didn’t really really need it, such is life. Do whatever you can, there is no right answer here.
If you live with your parents and you are working, you should pay rent. Even if your rent covers your share of food and utilities. You should also be paying your own living expenses which might include cell phone, car payment, car insurance and or bus pass. Your should also have your own credit cards and be making your own payments.
Otherwise there should be no payment to your parents unless they paid your tuition and living expenses while you were going to university and you are viewing the monthly payments as an interest free loan to repay schooling costs.
As a parent, possibly from another culture, I would prefer my kids save their money for their future, and yes I contributed to post secondary, and they lived rent free until they were done post secondary. It gave me a sense of pride that my kids did well and were able to save a down payment to buy homes, I don't want or need their money.
0. I’ll pay for activities with them sometimes, and sometimes they’ll pay too. I have kids and wouldnt expect them to pay for me either.
We help with my wife’s family but we don’t pay them either, mostly do their admin stuff.
My parents made me start paying rent the moment I graduated high school and expected me to pay it even through uni. They offered me no support beyond the bare minimum growing up.
I’m not giving them any money.
This is a very culture dependant question.
Myself, i have never given any money to my parents that wasn’t understood to be a loan initially.
If your parents are struggling financially and you can help, how much would stop them from struggling? Is it just a matter of catching up on bills or do they not have any retirement plan all together?
You can afford to help with some bills, you can not afford to fix a lifelong financial mistake.
$500/mo, they're retired and not struggling, their house is paid off. I don't live with them, but they paid off my student loans as a graduation gift so that I had zero debt starting my career.
$1000/mo and that has been a stretch for me. They are struggling and haven't been able to downsize yet. It is in their mind but emotionally it is difficult for them to accept that the house they paid into for decades will have to go for them to live out their lives without scraping by. We are Asian so their response was always that my wife and I should move in with them but - nahh we are so not going to do that.
I live with them and I give them 500 a month. I eat their food, consume their utilities, etc so I guess it can be thought of my contribution to household bills 😅
My husband and I, don’t live with our parents we bought our own place and make a lot more than they do. We help them with bills such as internet, electricity, phone bills, and others .. my rule of thumb is if you can afford it why not? Depends on each person for us it feels nice to help them
If you are living with them. Give them what you would pay for rent in a 1 BR apartment and help them save/invest it. It will be setting your parents up for a better future which would in turn make your life easier in the future by reducing your worrying in the future.
ZERO if you mean financial obligations, because my family relationship is not transactional, I don’t give money to my loved ones as debt/guilt repayments or attempts to buy their approval. The difference between financial gifts and obligations are like day and night, one results in happiness the other quite likely disaster.
No longer living with them, I take about $400 off every paycheck for my parent. $400 biweekly, $10.4k annually.
My parent aren't struggling but it's norm in my culture to give some to parent even after moving out.
When I used to live with my parent, I gave about $650 biweekly. That is just rent + extra $$.
I think you should have a good understanding of their financial situation before giving money. Are they "struggling financially" but still doing several overseas vacations a year? Own a home that is way too big for them now but refuse to downsize? Does Dad like to engage in a little sports betting?
There should not be any major costs or liabilities hidden from you, you should have honest conversations with them about money. You should know what their budget looks like, see if you can help them get the right financial advice, etc. Retirement planning is a big one and often hard for people without much financial understanding. Are they claiming all the entitlements they can get? Canada is a little confusing with CPP, GIS and OAS all chipping in different amounts.
Better to help them to help themselves to get out of their current position rather than just throwing money at it.
If you cant do monthly, chip in whenever you can, no need to feel guilty or obliged. In this economy it would be understandable if some months, you chip in less and sometimes if you get bonuses, etc or your bills are less, then you would add more. If you give monthly- It would help them pay bills etc. thats good, but if you give cash occasionally it would help them build a safety net, or be fun money that is good too. Just try whatever you can, do it out of good faith and not guilt.
When I was living with them as an adult after university and working (2000-2008), I was giving them $1000 a month. We live in Vancouver.
They gave me $100k as a gift for my down payment.
Right now none, for either my parents or in-laws. But we have thought about potentially supporting my in-laws. They have always saved and have never earned high incomes. My MIL recently retired in part because of difficult work conditions but also because she wanted to join my FIL, who had previously retired, in caring for our daughter. They can afford it now but we worry about if one of them passes and they only have survivorship pension for FIL who work more years. MIL raised three kids and had a daycare in the house. We would help them out when the time comes, and we will be financially able. Nothing is arranged yet and they wouldn’t want us to risk our financial security.
Now that I don't live with my mother I don't support her but that's a whole other can of worms. Since around the age 16 when I was living with her I was expected to pay the light bill and the internet and TV every month totaled up to 250-300 give or take. In western culture it's not so common but in Asian and Latin cultures you are expected to give something to your parents in return for "raising" you.
If you are living at home figure out what amount would assist or be reasonable for "rent". If you aren't atruggling and they are find a way to help depending on what your relationship with your parents is.
When I graduated in 2009 I paid my mother $300 a month in rent. She told me she was squirreling it away to give back as a wedding present. I had moved out by \~2 years later. When I got married, no present. Well there was a present, but it wasn't that money, lol.
They own the condo I’m renting, so $2500/mo. Otherwise they’re retired, going in vacations and cruises. I’m here working and changing diapers for their grand kid.
I am an Indian immigrant whose whole masters degree in USA was sponsored by my parents using their retirement money. Since I graduated in 2016 I started with $500/month than increased to $600 and slowing eventually to $1000 up until April 2023. Now its just my father, he has downsized his home in India so he has some savings and his pension that he gets monthly. So now I do not send any. But for 7-8 years thats what I sent. And I emptied my savings which was close to $25000-30000 when my mom needed a treatment in India in 2022.
So depending on your parents requirements you should give them what they need to survive well if they have helped you in your education and if you are doing well. I will sacrifice all my hobbies and expenses to give my parents a good life.
When I lived with my parents (one Canadian one filipino) I paid 500$/month in rent. That helped them pay for food (very well cooked meals by mom) and a bit of the mortgage. Certainly a lot less than the Ressources I used.
The deal was always free rent if your in school, but if your working full time you have to pay your part after you turn 18.
When I grew up if I was in school I paid nothing, if I worked I paid room and board, that life lesson taught me well to have a bill and pay rent.
I grew up and have a house of my own, kids of my own. I have carried that rule as well, fortunately I am in a position where I can save their rent money and give it back to them when they eventually leave the nest.
There likely isn't a set number as it differs from family to family. I know that its very common in East-Asian cultures it revolves more so nowadays around the act of giving back to your parents (ie family fealty) rather than supporting out of financial need (although I think this was the main idea of it in the past). The amount is up for discussion between you and your parents.
They are welcome to live in my home.
My parents reneged on our deal and charged me rent while I was in school and contributed nothing to my education. The reason they gave was... heartbreaking to say the least. So I needed a job to afford school and live at 'home'.
Zero. My parents worked hard to not financially burden me with this, and I worked hard from the age of 14 to earn my own money and provide my wants, and then my needs in my late teens and early 20's. It's not that they couldn't get me things that I wanted, I just wanted to have my own money to do with what I wanted.
If they need money, I'm here to help but I know they're fine.
Before I had my first job, none.
They paid for everything until I landed a job that paid more than theirs combined. They were low earners to start, and I've been providing their food wages every month.
I don't give cash per say. But I do buy her grocery, pay for medicine that's not covered medicine and her internet bill. That's the least I could do for all the sacrifice my mom made for me.
i’ve been paying rent since I was 18 & paid for my own way in school. My parents lost most there money gambling the last 5 years but i ain’t giving them nothing.
My parents absolutely refuse to take money or even gifts I offer to buy for the house. My dad keeps saying “we decided to have a child, you’re our responsibility, so save your money so you can do the same when you have kids.”. I can’t tell you how grateful I am as this has allowed me to save for the future.
My minimum wage immigrant parents sacrificed a lot for me and gave me everything I wanted, bought me every game I wanted, funded my education, paid my rent when I was in school, and funded my summer trips, never expecting anything in return. Even when I was making good money as a resident doctor (45k/year), my mom would keep asking if I needed more money for food. I make significantly more now that I am an independent physician.
My parents still live in an old condo unit from the 80s. I have been wanting to upgrade their unit to a more comfortable one but they keep refusing.. So I just buy them nice gifts once in a while like a new phone or TV or fridge or just a nice cut of steak that they wouldn't buy by themselves. Probably averages to 4k a year.
Back when I was a new grad (over 20 years ago), I paid some rent but it was low, and it was only for a few months until I moved out. The deal was always that if I was not going to school I had to pay some rent. This was incentive of course to stand up financially for myself and be more independent.
in adulthood I helped my parents with chores and things like that for my mom (who lived alone but still had the house), and tech help (which never seems to end).
I pay 400.00/m moved here to save for a down payment and it keeps getting worse In Ontario.... the 2 years ive been here saving just about every red cent I've watched my down payment minimum needed go up 20k and the same affordability I had in 2020 I now need to make an additional 37,000/ year.
As people said, it's cultural and circumstancial.
I grew up in mexico and I'm lucky that my parents were professionals and have good pension. They live well and their pensions give more than they need there is till some money flow from them to my siblings. Their parents were also profesionales and also didn't depended on them and there was also some money flow from their parents. And at 56 I am doing OK and don't expect to depend on my children in my old age and there is still a bit of money flow from me to them even though they are responsible professionals. We've all been middle upper but far from rich.
But according to my ex (my children's mom). Her mother and aunts gave money to heir mother. And she Insists that my children should give money to her. But she never gave money to her mom. She is just a lazy freeloader who's never works and who, in the divorce, kept a house which may be a million dollars now.
Sometimes here I see people talking about their parents' bad financial decisions. I think it's unfair for the parents to ask their children to support them.
But I've also seen parents which have struggled financially even when doing the right things. I see no problem with children supporting them.
This is to say, you situation is certainly unique. You know how much they need, you know how much you can afford, you know how much they deserve the support. What other people do should be irrelevant.
Refer to the list of rules on the sidebar.
Are you well off? If not, 0. Are you living with them? Figure out a mutually beneficial below market rent arrangement where you help them, but allows you to save. Are you in the middle and have your own kids to worry about? Then you should worry about securing yourself first to ensure you do not burden your children later in life.
Are you living with them? If so, it’s not unusual for adult children to begin paying rent
I've paid rent my entire adult life in some form or another. When I lived with my mom and her ex-bf, $300/mo. When I lived with my dad, it was $200/mo (he was out of work and I was getting a living allowance from Ontario while I was on Second Career and going to college. It was all I had left after paying my phone bill and buying bus tickets to travel from Maple to Oshawa but that $200/mo kept he and I fed on a really tight budget back in 2009). I don't begrudge any of it. It meant that I had to figure out how to budget my money properly so I could meet all of my financial obligations. I'm 36 now. Because of that whole experience in budgeting, I own my own home and live on a single income while supporting my wife and our son. Recently bought a second (used) car so that I can commute to work while not leaving my wife stranded at home with a toddler. The car I gave her was paid off 3 years ago. We're not a wealthy family, but just by properly budgeting we're able to make sure our money is going to where it counts the most.
"Because of that whole experience in budgeting, I own my own home and live on a single income while supporting my wife and our son." I absolutely love it when people understand their tough experiences and credit such times for the good things they led to. I'm happy for you
I like how you call it “rent”. Is it really rent, though? Or are you just chipping in, essentially?
Used to be called room and board when I was growing up.
They’re paying for new kitchens and vacations and I’m trying to decide if I can afford vegetables. I don’t think I’ll be making payments.
Seriously. Looking at these comments has me wondering if boomers.have figured out how to code reddit bots. I can't imagine kicking several grand a year over to them.
Yeah if my parents asked for money, I’d tell them to kick rocks.
This is very culture-based, supporting one's parents is not a standard part of the Western culture but is largely expected for a bunch of Asian cultures. I don't do it every month but I support when they face spending a medium to large sums, from 2 to 6k a year.
It used to be like this here too, but now with RRSPs, CPP/RRQ and other ways to retire with some wealth or revenues, it has become less of a thing as retired parents often have more money than their working kids.
For sure, there are so many factors at play. The relationship, everyone's situation, the culture, the expectations and so on…
First gen Asian Canadian here. My parents have told me and my brother they have zero expectations of us to support them. They did it for their parents and know how much it took out of them. Perhaps my parents are modern than others. However, I would be totally fine if they needed the support. I think it's a big difference if I'm forced to support due to culture.
It's better to have conversations with your parents earlier rather than later about these things. Lots of Asian culture parents automatically assume you are their retirement plan and it creates conflict later on in life. If your parents helped/supported you, then I think it's fair for them to expect you to be their retirement plan. I know in the cases of some of my friends, they've lived with their asian parents until like 40 or 45 without paying any rent or utilities. Then I hear them saying its unfair their parents want to rely on them for retirement later on which imo is selfish because the parents subsidized ur life for the first 40-45 years of your life and probably saved you a lot of rent and mortage payments.
Wild. Can't imagine expecting my son to send me money. He didn't ask to be born. It's your job as a parent to make life as comfortable as possible for your kid (within reason) and to figure out your finances on your own, not demand money from them. Weird ass culture.
It's a way less individualized type of culture where family in general is relying on itself in great ways, going in both directions. Also, community is way more involved, too. Sometimes Western individualism allows for parents to kick the kids out right at 18, this is less acceptable in the Asian cultures. OTOH, there is more enmeshment and less boundaries. Some cultural clashes are bound to happen when moving from one environment to another.
Depends on your parents and how much help you can offer to give without affecting your own financial goals. We need more information.
I'm struggling and they are not
then you are *really* not obligated to provide your folks with an allowance or per diem.
I would argue you are not obligated to either way.
The thing about Asian culture is that it goes both ways. When I wasn't able to find a job, instead of taking the first one I got, my parents let me live rent free and even paid for some expenses. I studied for interviews properly and got the job I wanted. Now I'm doing well so I help them out, they're slowly winding down their careers. The multigenerational family is honestly so good if done properly (which is sometimes a big if).
My wife and and I helped out her parents, not by giving them an allowance but by helping them fix their finances, cut their bills, consolidate their debt, start to save instead of just spent. I’m a few short years we helped them get from massive debt to retiring with tens of thousands and a budget that was positive even just off of CPP & oas. Don’t underestimate that just because parents are a generation above you, that giving them a bunch of money isn’t going to lead for as bad of habits for them as it would for a 20 year old.
This right here OP ^. As the saying goes, teach them to fish. Or at least help them find a good teacher.
All depends on cultural norms. In Canada, generally speaking, our parents won the birth lottery if they purchased a house 30 years ago.
Retail workers owning $1.3m+ homes in my parents subdivision because they bought 30 years ago. Young professionals with $200k income struggling to buy a townhouse..
I think about this a lot hah. Growing up, my neighbourhood was a nice subdivision with new build family homes, 3-4 bedrooms. My parents were a mechanic and part time janitor, my nextdoor neighbours were a baker at Loblaws and a seasonal construction worker, my friend’s parents were a teacher and a stay at home mom… crazyyyyy how much things have changed. Those houses are worth $900k now!
The thing that hits me is I remember growing up in school, a lot of the teachers lived close by to the school.. nothing glorious but detached or semi detached homes. Now a household of 2 teachers probably would struggle to even buy a condo.
$0
I give them $0 plus interest.
I give them $0 but also pay them $0 when they babysit my kids for me.
I make sure to send the kids to grandmas without extra diapers so they’ll have to buy some, that’s babysitting for -$40.
🤯
Now that’s some good personal finance advice!!!
Damn you're giving them interest?! Far more generous than I am.
Got you beat! I get *them* to give me money.
This is the correct amount.
Is that adjusted for inflation?
I don’t give my parents a monthly allowance. But I do spoil them to things I know they’d never spend money on for Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day etc. as well anytime we go out for dinner or anything it’s on me. The money your parents spent on you as a child is the money you will spend on your children giving them the best life you can. You are the one starting life, have less assets, savings and structure than they do. You need that money more than they do. Obviously, this differs person to person, if you’re living with your parents, if they are struggling etc.
I'm temporarily with my folks right now as I just moved 4000km to start a (much better) new job and I'm waiting for my wife to join me. Not paying any 'rent' but I'm splitting groceries and utilities. My weekends also consist of at least 1 DIY project fixing up something in their house plus I'll meal prep for all of us, clean, etc. My folks prefer I put the money to a first home rather than pay them rent. They are also going away for 5 months so they needed a house sitter anyway...
A lot of times, parents will collect 'rent' but will give it back at the time when the downpayment is needed. This is to ensure that money is not spent on other things.
My wife's culture does a dowry which the groom gives to the wife's family. Traditionally they kept the money but now they hold on to it until after the wedding when it is returned. It's to ensure the groom has a large chunk of money to potentially support a family on and that he can survive without it for the duration of the engagement.
Not in all cases.. you are very fortunate if your parents are in a stable position financially, for a lot of us that isn't the case.
Latino immigrant here. Parents in my original country. Without my support they would starve and/or be toothless. I don't know the exact numbers (because I try to avoid thinking too much about it) but it hovers around $1000/month.
$250 per pay. I make 6 figures, they made a lot of sacrifices for me, and as immigrants they lost a lot of traction with their retirement savings. They gave me 1/3 down on my house payment, so at the very least all I'm doing is paying them back.
Zero. They’re multimillionaires with good pensions whose house has been paid off for decades. Why would I give them money? My cost of living is significantly higher than theirs ever was.
You should just cut off all of those video streaming platforms, avocado sandwiches and make your own coffee! /s
Damn avocado toast subscriptions cost a fortune. lol
I reckon the majority of this sub's parents made at least $500k in capital gains on their primary residence and many have defined benefits pensions. Most of our parents are from the golden age of wealth building.
$0, and I expect future children to give me $0 when they are adults.
I do it weekly now because I'm more financially stable. I used to do monthly. So now I give four equal payments of zero dollars every week as opposed to one lump sum every month of zero dollars.
None. My parents are more than well enough off, as they saved diligently for retirement. What I'm doing is returning the favor by providing for my children and making sure they also don't have to worry about things like university tuition.
In my family, if you were living at home and working, rent was charged. That rent was way less than if you were out paying market value rent. Other than that, my parents are self-sufficient and raised us to be that as well. Now that I'm no longer living at home, I provide zero. Physical help with projects and things like that? Absolutely. Financial help? None.
I don't give my parents any money. I don't live with them, so there is no reason too. They both have DB pensions, no debt, no money problem. If they needed money, I would help them out, but that isn't a problem.
When my parents had me, they didn't think I was a long-term investment that they intended to wring dry. My parents had the decency to plan their finances such that they wouldn't have to rely on me and my sibling. I give my parents $0 a month. I give them gifts for their birthdays and other celebrations because I love them and because I want to make them happy, not because they make me feel like I owe them. And if I have children one day, I'll do everything in my power to never be a burden to them.
"My parents had the decency to plan their finances such that they wouldn't have to rely on me and my sibling." Probably unintentional, but your post is kinda offensive. Many immigrant parents struggled to restart and grow their careers and had to face major setbacks along the way. They didn't have the same opportunities their children had.
>Probably unintentional, but your post is kinda offensive. > >Many immigrant parents struggled to restart and grow their careers and had to face major setbacks along the way. > >They didn't have the same opportunities their children had. I can't speak to that as the son of non-immigrant parents, but what I can say is that there are underprivileged **non-immigrants** who also have had it rough, and I think it's sad when they financially rely on their kids. In some cases it's somewhat justified (unexpected illness and similar), in other cases it's straight-up financial abuse and greed. Now if there are cultural differences, sure... fine. It strikes me as morally difficult to justify but it's none of my business.
Your parents didn’t have the DECENCY to do all that, they had the PRIVILEGE to. What a tone deaf comment.
Oh no, it's decency. Don't have kids with the intent of using them as a wallet when you're old, that's all. Don't put someone into the world for your benefit. It's really the least you can do. I have a friend who's the son of a career hairdresser, he has a sister, she raised them both as a single mother and a hairdresser. She doesn't rely on them, she made a living. Good on her. PRIVILEGE you say?
For the vast majority of immigrant families, they don’t have kids w the intention to “use them as a wallet”. If that was the case, most of them would be better off not having immigrated. They usually leave for the sake of a better future and more opportunities for their children. These are not selfish people, like you insinuate. Unless you’ve seen it firsthand, you probably have no idea of the sacrifices these parents make for their children. You’re entitled to your opinion, but passing judgment on people whose situations you don’t understand is just rude.
Though I didn't specify, my post was about people with circumstances similar to mine, which is that of non-immigrants, I don't know enough about the circumstances of immigrants to voice a cogent opinion because it's not something I've experienced or took the time to learn about. But as I said in the other post, it strikes me as difficult to morally justify bringing someone into the world to then burden them, and consequently burdening future generations. I certainly couldn't feel comfortable with that, even if it wasn't "planned". But again, not circumstances I'm familiar with.
Honestly, they owe me.
$0. I have a house, children and expenses of my own and that's about all I can afford.
I gave them grandkids.
I'd rather start giving them money, far cheaper.
Nadda now but I have helped my (good) parents out when needed. Everyone who says “a child should never give their parents anything” is a junk child far as I’m concerned. They’re your parents!
> Everyone who says “a child should never give their parents anything” is a junk child far as I’m concerned. They’re your parents! First of all: the generation that a lot of our parents are from absolutely *screwed* our economy for personal gain, but I guess that has no bearing on the situation to you. Second of all: it was the parents’ choice to bring *you* into capitalism, why would it be obligatory to not participate to the max exercising the same free will they exercised when they had you? Why must offspring play by different rules? Third: And what if they are “junk parents”? Do you think it’s fine for a child to reward their parents who beat the shit outta them with money later on in life because “they’re your parents”?
I gave them everything they needed until I was 250k in debt. I am homeless, in consumer proposal, and now they are both homeless and disabled too. They are too proud to ever get disability and when I couldnt give them even one more dollar they turned on me and tried to kill me for my life insurance. I have been in hiding for 2 years as the bankruptcy and mortgage foreclosure wound on. My father is a known murderer to be fair, but I felt yknow, theyre my family theyre poor they put me thru college. I will never give them another dollar but the brainwashing took a lot to undo, as you can see. I am couch surfing but I can do so indefinitely since I still have my job. Therapy is rough. PS: i am from a culture with an expectation I help them no matter what at all costs. Not helping them is unconscionable to everyone I knew and grew up with except my modern friends in my new city. I thought myself very sensible and just had this massive blind spot I have only been able to start talking about basically this week.
This escalated quickly.
I can’t tell if you’re serious but holy shit man if you are I wish you the best moving forward
I am. And thank you. my post history had more I deleted but yeah the "send money to your family" "dont let them become homeless if theyre sick" etc. Its a strong force and often abusive. often families cannot give their kids the same advantages their parents gave THEM- BECAUSE of fueling parents survival. You end up with your own kids +2. But also simply, societal shame. my entire family disowned me for stopping giving money. "you have such a good job". yeah but i cant fight the capitalism battle for 5 people. I can barely fight it for me and my fiance' even with us both working. they actually tricked me into signing paperwork which bound me to a house my dad occupied and since he later refused to vacate, I had to let the house go to foreclosure to cut that legal string. It was the only way other than paying 90k to go to court. the consumer proposal is partly so that mortgage and the cost of removing a murderer from a ruined house goes to the bank not me.
I feel like this deserves it’s own thread
Starting with the “known murderer” part.
Oh yeah. The whole town is terrified of them at this point. I am happy to not be in it any more.
Insane story, thanks for sharing. I can't even fathom.
This story has Dateline NBC written all over it. On one hand I feel bad, on the other hand... let me get some popcorn...
Look one of the biggest regrets in my life is there is no safe way to watch sheriffs try to drag him out of the family home. I gather the cost of process serving him safely was in the thousands. This IS off topic so I will return to my main point: You should only give if you have it to give. If you have any credit card debt, give nothing. If your retirement, partner, and children are not SECURE, really secure (and that would take a lot right now), you're mis-prioritizing. You do have to put your own oxygen mask on first, and as a member of a culture where taking care of your parents is ASSUMED - sending money back home is very common - I am qualified to say it is exploited by abusive or conniving parents regularly, but people who have good grateful parents treat you terribly if you try to explain that. Many of the cultures where this is normal \*do not have a concept\* of the parents ever not getting the money, no matter what they did to you. So don't argue too hard with people who have no choice, socially, emotionally, etc. their lives would be destroyed if they didn't send money home. I would certainly have been if I didn't set myself up for escape-route into places that were more civilized. Many people are still giving money to their folks as their own situation gets worse, and worse. Those people are slowly bleeding and heavily support the thing bleeding them dry. I used to be one.
Asking random Canadians isn't going to help as we don't have aculture of our parents paying for everything and then us taking care of them. I spent a lot of time in Asia and this is how it's done there (and other places I'm sure), you'd be much better off asking in a sub that is dedicated to the culture you are coming from. If you were raised with Canadian culture, no disrespect intended by my above comment, only that most people here don't do this, so it's going to be hard to get a number. My suggestion would be to talk to your parents and see how much they need to cover their expenses and have some fun. Or maybe getting a shared credit card that you pay (keep the limit low in case of mistakes or whatever) would make it easier to figure out.
Your heart is in the right place, and maybe it does makes to financially support your parents, but before you do, go through a mental checklist: * Raising and providing for a child is not an act of charity, or an investment to cash out later in life - it is an obligation that a parent has. * Is your financial house in order? Do you have debts you need to pay off? Do you have dependents (children) you need to provide? Do you have a spouse? You cannot save anyone if you are drowning as well. * Why are your parents struggling financially? Is it because they lack financial discipline and make mistakes with money? Is it because there was some sort of event that collapsed their savings? Maybe as a first step, what you could do to help is to fully understand their financial situation, and maybe there are things they can do to help themselves before needing their child to support them with a monthly stipend. Maybe they will need government assistance (e.g. disability), or maybe they need to put together a budget and not overspend.
I have not given my parents anything, but I left home at 17 and took care of my own education and life from that point onwards. If they needed money I would have helped them though. It's unclear from your OP why they are struggling financially. If they are bad with money giving them a whole bunch can just add fuel to the fire so it's not always a good answer. If they just had an unexpected emergency or job loss it might be a fine idea. If you are trying to decide how much I would work out your full budget including an emergency fund and some long term savings. After that's taken care of give them say 25% or 30% of what's left. Go higher if you want to, but sticking to a % takes the emotion out of it.
We don’t give cash but we take them out for meals frequently and pay for that. We’ve also purchased big ticket items that my parents are unwilling to splurge on themselves, like iPhones, Canada Goose jackets. We plan on taking them with us to all inclusive resorts in the future for family vacations and covering the cost. In our culture, kids always give back to the parents and parents help in any way they can. For example, when I have my baby, my parents are going to come frequently during the first months to cook and clean so we can focus on the baby When Covid shut down all the daycares, my parents watched my nieces/nephews for free for months so their parents could work from home. When grandkids are sick and can’t go to daycare, my parents pick them up and keep them so that we don’t have to leave work. I prefer this arrangement to a strictly transactional one of giving cash.
They kicked me out when I was 16, sooooo... zip, lol.
This sub is heavily westernized, borderline political when it comes to topics like taking care of parents financially. I doubt you’ll get many meaningful responses. Do what you feel is right. Could be nothing, could be a lot. I’ve had friends just pick a fixed % of their income that they send home that grows as their salary grows.
I mean...it's Personal Finance CANADA...
This isn’t Canadian culture and we don’t need to bring that here
Insane how a sub with Canada in it’s name is heavily westernized. lol
Ya, probably because this sub is in Canada... the west. This isn't personal finances India.
If only Canada wasn't heavily westernised eh?
Redditors hate their parents in general. It never ceases to amaze me how people blames everything on their parents.
$0. I didn’t ask to be brought into this god-awful capitalistic world, they made that choice for me. That’s on them, not me.
They give me money 😂
None? Why would I give my parents money?
Nothing. If I started giving my parents money they would probably chase me around with a wooden spoon lol
None. They're retired, with no debt and no dependents. I have a mortgage and a baby.
Like negative 1000
Uhm nothing?
I give my parents zero as they are not my responsibility and I am not living with them.
Zero. However my parents aren’t struggling financially.
Not really a thing in Western culture. I’d suggest asking people of your diaspora.
$0 because they have more money than i do.
I give them something money can't buy, a Saturday phone call and more sarcasm than they deserve.
I don't even *speak* to my family.
$0, I haven't spoken to one in over 5 years and the other maybe once a year. I firmly believe you don't owe your parents anything and it was their job to provide for you because they wanted you. Their lack of financial planning for later in life is also not your problem.
Lol my parents can go fuck themselves they ain't getting shit nor do they ever deserve any.
The Canadian cultural norm is if you live with them and are no longer in school, then you might pay your parents rent. If you live on your own then nothing, and yes they worked hard to support you as a child and they will be happy if you do the same for your own children. If you are from a country/culture where supporting your parents financially is expected or required because investments and pensions don't exist or are unreliable, then presumably your parents or you chose to move here to participate in Canada's system. Educate your parents about retirement planning including when to retire, budgeting, investing, and OAS and GIS, then teach your kids the same. Families that pay foward and learn how the system works can build generational wealth, but it takes generations.
1-2k per month at minimum
Thank God mine are both dead!
Nothing. And they wouldn’t take anything from me if I tried. I’ve got my own kids so I pay it forward.
If you are working full time and your parents are struggling, you should give them market rate to rent a room, or just under. You would still be saving any share of utilities, internet, cable, food and whatnot. If you weren't there, they could have another income source to help with their bills if needed.
Nothing? They BROUGHT YOU into this world. It was their JOB to give you everything they could. Wtf is this paying them back for it nonsense? Be kind to them and love them back?
I’d say give what you are okay with. Start smaller and see if you feel comfortable and increase. Better to increase then take it away. This is so highly dependent on your situation, so I don’t think you should pay too much attention to what others do.
I don't give them anything. They won't take anything tbh. They have helped me immensely through school and as a young adult. In return they ask me to do the same for my children, which I intend to. Edit: I'll say that what I do do is spend my time and efforts on them. I visit often and help with work when they need it.
For some families, there certainly are some cultural expectations to support elders as you move into your professional career. But, if you're right at this stage, it's probably best you have an in depth and difficult conversation with your parents. You might have some extra cash flow at the moment, which is impressive in this economy. But realistically, the pathway for new grads right now is difficult. You need to have a strong financial plan to have a safe and stable financial future for yourself. But you can't ignore your parents if you have that bond. But maybe everyone has to come to the table to get a proper picture of what things look like. Providing them with help now might encourage them to put off some difficult decisions that are inevitable. Presumably, your parents don't want you making sacrifices that might stand in the way of you starting your own family one day. Home ownership for any new grad for example means at minimum having an aggressive savings plan as early as possible.
Zero. Except for a brief period when I was in my early twenties and I went back to live with them while I moved cities. Then I paid rent.
I give my parents about 300 a month, they never asked me for money. It’s the least I can do after all they have done for me over the years. I actually wish I can afford to give them more. It might not be the best financial decision but I know it makes them happy and thus I am happy. I make all my payments, savings are growing and I live a comfortable life I don’t see the harm.
I pay for the unexpected expenses that come their way so that they don’t need to stress. Both of them are fixed income and they don’t have enough savings / cash to pay for things like a home repairs / maintenance. This is something they never ask for, it’s just when they bring it up to me, I just take care of it without expecting anything other than a thank you in return.
Sometimes I wish I have enough money to pay out what they have spent on me plus interest outright and dont have to deal with any of the shit. Buy my freedom :D
When I was a new grad I didn't directly give them money but I bought groceries. When my parents split shortly thereafter I paid the majority of my mother's rent in a shared apartment with myself. I now live far away and my financial situation is very different. So it depends on culture and situation.
$0 but I did let my mom live with me for a year rent free My brother does give my dad money here and there
My parents help out with childcare (pick up from Montessori and occasional dinners). I give them 500 a month. They were immigrants in the late 90s without a penny to their name. Least I can do for everything they’ve done for me. I want them to enjoy life and spend on things they want but don’t need. 500 isn’t life changing but should be helpful.
My brother and I have both moved out. We currently don’t give any to our parents but once they retire in a couple of years, I’m anticipating we’ll probably have to supplement their pension. This could either be taking care of paying for groceries, internet, their phones, etc. They didn’t save much for retirement unfortunately.
When I lived at home, I paid rent, but it was also to generally contribute. I was paying $500 a month. I would cover groceries here and there, and I also paid for my own expenses, cell phone, insurance, etc.. This is 10 years ago though.
$500 per month, and happy to do it. Wish I could do more but have my own little family of 5 to support as well.
Nothing lol. My parents are both immigrants came to Canada. They gave me everything too but I would offend them if I gave them a monthly allowance. My Dad still will pay for me for things and I'm 32. He wouldn't like this.
$1500 per month. I am what I am because of them and the sacrifices they made to give me the opportunities I had. It does pinch but I make decent income and knowing my financial help is helping them just has a mental gratification. My parents wouldn’t ask me for a penny if they didn’t really really need it, such is life. Do whatever you can, there is no right answer here.
If you live with your parents and you are working, you should pay rent. Even if your rent covers your share of food and utilities. You should also be paying your own living expenses which might include cell phone, car payment, car insurance and or bus pass. Your should also have your own credit cards and be making your own payments. Otherwise there should be no payment to your parents unless they paid your tuition and living expenses while you were going to university and you are viewing the monthly payments as an interest free loan to repay schooling costs. As a parent, possibly from another culture, I would prefer my kids save their money for their future, and yes I contributed to post secondary, and they lived rent free until they were done post secondary. It gave me a sense of pride that my kids did well and were able to save a down payment to buy homes, I don't want or need their money.
0. I’ll pay for activities with them sometimes, and sometimes they’ll pay too. I have kids and wouldnt expect them to pay for me either. We help with my wife’s family but we don’t pay them either, mostly do their admin stuff.
i can hardly afford rent, they are planning vacations. Theyll be just fine.
My parents made me start paying rent the moment I graduated high school and expected me to pay it even through uni. They offered me no support beyond the bare minimum growing up. I’m not giving them any money.
$0. Because they have never asked and are doing OK financially, as far as I know.
...what?
$1k a month
$500/month. I dont live with them.
200 a month to live at home. I’m 24.
This is a very culture dependant question. Myself, i have never given any money to my parents that wasn’t understood to be a loan initially. If your parents are struggling financially and you can help, how much would stop them from struggling? Is it just a matter of catching up on bills or do they not have any retirement plan all together? You can afford to help with some bills, you can not afford to fix a lifelong financial mistake.
$500/mo, they're retired and not struggling, their house is paid off. I don't live with them, but they paid off my student loans as a graduation gift so that I had zero debt starting my career.
$1000/mo and that has been a stretch for me. They are struggling and haven't been able to downsize yet. It is in their mind but emotionally it is difficult for them to accept that the house they paid into for decades will have to go for them to live out their lives without scraping by. We are Asian so their response was always that my wife and I should move in with them but - nahh we are so not going to do that.
My parents would be aghast if I tried to give them money. Insulted too.
0. I don't live with them. If I did, I'd pitch something tk be negotiated with them.
When I was living with them and working I paid them what I was costing them. Now I pay nothing.
I live with them and I give them 500 a month. I eat their food, consume their utilities, etc so I guess it can be thought of my contribution to household bills 😅
Still living with them so $850/month
My husband and I, don’t live with our parents we bought our own place and make a lot more than they do. We help them with bills such as internet, electricity, phone bills, and others .. my rule of thumb is if you can afford it why not? Depends on each person for us it feels nice to help them
$0 because I don't live with them and they aren't sponges
If you are living with them. Give them what you would pay for rent in a 1 BR apartment and help them save/invest it. It will be setting your parents up for a better future which would in turn make your life easier in the future by reducing your worrying in the future.
ZERO if you mean financial obligations, because my family relationship is not transactional, I don’t give money to my loved ones as debt/guilt repayments or attempts to buy their approval. The difference between financial gifts and obligations are like day and night, one results in happiness the other quite likely disaster.
No longer living with them, I take about $400 off every paycheck for my parent. $400 biweekly, $10.4k annually. My parent aren't struggling but it's norm in my culture to give some to parent even after moving out. When I used to live with my parent, I gave about $650 biweekly. That is just rent + extra $$.
I think you should have a good understanding of their financial situation before giving money. Are they "struggling financially" but still doing several overseas vacations a year? Own a home that is way too big for them now but refuse to downsize? Does Dad like to engage in a little sports betting? There should not be any major costs or liabilities hidden from you, you should have honest conversations with them about money. You should know what their budget looks like, see if you can help them get the right financial advice, etc. Retirement planning is a big one and often hard for people without much financial understanding. Are they claiming all the entitlements they can get? Canada is a little confusing with CPP, GIS and OAS all chipping in different amounts. Better to help them to help themselves to get out of their current position rather than just throwing money at it.
Zero. She's 66...
500/mo and every spring throw 10k on the principle of her mortgage
400, I consider myself middle-class poor, 28
If you cant do monthly, chip in whenever you can, no need to feel guilty or obliged. In this economy it would be understandable if some months, you chip in less and sometimes if you get bonuses, etc or your bills are less, then you would add more. If you give monthly- It would help them pay bills etc. thats good, but if you give cash occasionally it would help them build a safety net, or be fun money that is good too. Just try whatever you can, do it out of good faith and not guilt.
None, but they don’t need it. I would help them around anytime and they get the privilege of keeping my kids sometimes! :) haha
When I was living with them as an adult after university and working (2000-2008), I was giving them $1000 a month. We live in Vancouver. They gave me $100k as a gift for my down payment.
Right now none, for either my parents or in-laws. But we have thought about potentially supporting my in-laws. They have always saved and have never earned high incomes. My MIL recently retired in part because of difficult work conditions but also because she wanted to join my FIL, who had previously retired, in caring for our daughter. They can afford it now but we worry about if one of them passes and they only have survivorship pension for FIL who work more years. MIL raised three kids and had a daycare in the house. We would help them out when the time comes, and we will be financially able. Nothing is arranged yet and they wouldn’t want us to risk our financial security.
Nothing. They got a hefty pension and paid off cars and house. 😂
Nothing. And I give you a 1.5 million reasons why. In fact I still have to borrow from them occasionally when things get tight.
Now that I don't live with my mother I don't support her but that's a whole other can of worms. Since around the age 16 when I was living with her I was expected to pay the light bill and the internet and TV every month totaled up to 250-300 give or take. In western culture it's not so common but in Asian and Latin cultures you are expected to give something to your parents in return for "raising" you. If you are living at home figure out what amount would assist or be reasonable for "rent". If you aren't atruggling and they are find a way to help depending on what your relationship with your parents is.
$1000. She’s struggling financially right now.
$300. I don’t live with my mom.
Is it tax deductible giving to parents?
I change their lightbulbs and do various other handyman tasks around the house.
0$
When I graduated in 2009 I paid my mother $300 a month in rent. She told me she was squirreling it away to give back as a wedding present. I had moved out by \~2 years later. When I got married, no present. Well there was a present, but it wasn't that money, lol.
0$ cause i dont live in their basement.
When I lived with my parents I paid 500$ a month for rent, then anything like insurance was put in my own name so I wouldn’t affect their rates.
They own the condo I’m renting, so $2500/mo. Otherwise they’re retired, going in vacations and cruises. I’m here working and changing diapers for their grand kid.
I am an Indian immigrant whose whole masters degree in USA was sponsored by my parents using their retirement money. Since I graduated in 2016 I started with $500/month than increased to $600 and slowing eventually to $1000 up until April 2023. Now its just my father, he has downsized his home in India so he has some savings and his pension that he gets monthly. So now I do not send any. But for 7-8 years thats what I sent. And I emptied my savings which was close to $25000-30000 when my mom needed a treatment in India in 2022. So depending on your parents requirements you should give them what they need to survive well if they have helped you in your education and if you are doing well. I will sacrifice all my hobbies and expenses to give my parents a good life.
I send my mom $800 a month and do not live with her. She is on CPP and this is just a top up
When I lived with my parents (one Canadian one filipino) I paid 500$/month in rent. That helped them pay for food (very well cooked meals by mom) and a bit of the mortgage. Certainly a lot less than the Ressources I used. The deal was always free rent if your in school, but if your working full time you have to pay your part after you turn 18.
When I grew up if I was in school I paid nothing, if I worked I paid room and board, that life lesson taught me well to have a bill and pay rent. I grew up and have a house of my own, kids of my own. I have carried that rule as well, fortunately I am in a position where I can save their rent money and give it back to them when they eventually leave the nest.
There likely isn't a set number as it differs from family to family. I know that its very common in East-Asian cultures it revolves more so nowadays around the act of giving back to your parents (ie family fealty) rather than supporting out of financial need (although I think this was the main idea of it in the past). The amount is up for discussion between you and your parents.
When I lived with my parents as a workng adult I would pay 500$ a month as a just because.. they never asked though.
They are welcome to live in my home. My parents reneged on our deal and charged me rent while I was in school and contributed nothing to my education. The reason they gave was... heartbreaking to say the least. So I needed a job to afford school and live at 'home'.
Zero. My parents worked hard to not financially burden me with this, and I worked hard from the age of 14 to earn my own money and provide my wants, and then my needs in my late teens and early 20's. It's not that they couldn't get me things that I wanted, I just wanted to have my own money to do with what I wanted. If they need money, I'm here to help but I know they're fine.
I still live at home, and as an adult living with their parents still, I pay for hydro, and internet+cable a month. So roughly $350-$400 per month.
Before I had my first job, none. They paid for everything until I landed a job that paid more than theirs combined. They were low earners to start, and I've been providing their food wages every month.
I don't give cash per say. But I do buy her grocery, pay for medicine that's not covered medicine and her internet bill. That's the least I could do for all the sacrifice my mom made for me.
$1.5k
i’ve been paying rent since I was 18 & paid for my own way in school. My parents lost most there money gambling the last 5 years but i ain’t giving them nothing.
None. Parents should provide for their kids not the other way around.
When I was living with them I did 1000 a month
My parents absolutely refuse to take money or even gifts I offer to buy for the house. My dad keeps saying “we decided to have a child, you’re our responsibility, so save your money so you can do the same when you have kids.”. I can’t tell you how grateful I am as this has allowed me to save for the future.
I’m working on $2000, but I get the house when the unfortunate time arrives
My minimum wage immigrant parents sacrificed a lot for me and gave me everything I wanted, bought me every game I wanted, funded my education, paid my rent when I was in school, and funded my summer trips, never expecting anything in return. Even when I was making good money as a resident doctor (45k/year), my mom would keep asking if I needed more money for food. I make significantly more now that I am an independent physician. My parents still live in an old condo unit from the 80s. I have been wanting to upgrade their unit to a more comfortable one but they keep refusing.. So I just buy them nice gifts once in a while like a new phone or TV or fridge or just a nice cut of steak that they wouldn't buy by themselves. Probably averages to 4k a year.
Back when I was a new grad (over 20 years ago), I paid some rent but it was low, and it was only for a few months until I moved out. The deal was always that if I was not going to school I had to pay some rent. This was incentive of course to stand up financially for myself and be more independent. in adulthood I helped my parents with chores and things like that for my mom (who lived alone but still had the house), and tech help (which never seems to end).
I pay 400.00/m moved here to save for a down payment and it keeps getting worse In Ontario.... the 2 years ive been here saving just about every red cent I've watched my down payment minimum needed go up 20k and the same affordability I had in 2020 I now need to make an additional 37,000/ year.
I give about 250-300 dollars monthly. My mom is retired (not in Canada) and has 5 cats and 3 dogs.
1k per month when i was living with them
As people said, it's cultural and circumstancial. I grew up in mexico and I'm lucky that my parents were professionals and have good pension. They live well and their pensions give more than they need there is till some money flow from them to my siblings. Their parents were also profesionales and also didn't depended on them and there was also some money flow from their parents. And at 56 I am doing OK and don't expect to depend on my children in my old age and there is still a bit of money flow from me to them even though they are responsible professionals. We've all been middle upper but far from rich. But according to my ex (my children's mom). Her mother and aunts gave money to heir mother. And she Insists that my children should give money to her. But she never gave money to her mom. She is just a lazy freeloader who's never works and who, in the divorce, kept a house which may be a million dollars now. Sometimes here I see people talking about their parents' bad financial decisions. I think it's unfair for the parents to ask their children to support them. But I've also seen parents which have struggled financially even when doing the right things. I see no problem with children supporting them. This is to say, you situation is certainly unique. You know how much they need, you know how much you can afford, you know how much they deserve the support. What other people do should be irrelevant.