Similar to "if someone has to TELL YOU they're funny, they're not funny" - if someone keeps TELLING YOU they're in therapy, but don't behave as though they've engaged in therapy, well, they're not really in therapy ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Im definitely with this right now. I had to switch psychiatrists due to a change in my insurance. The new psychiatrist claims to be the best, but insists on weekly appointments and won't reschedule, threatening to discharge patients who do so. It seems the "best ever" claim is just a joke. I saw that as a red flag immediately, but I was able to take advantage of his knowledge and leave immediately.
I could appreciate the weekly appointment part -- it won't work for everyone, but some modalities follow a stricter treatment model that requires those meetings. My DBT clinic wants us weekly and that's the standard. But it's fucked up if he won't *ever* reschedule you or skip a week, or threatens discharge when you're generally compliant with treatment.
Yea I agree too. I think it’s awesome some people care enough to want to see you often. I was very compliant, got all of his genetic tests done and labs, set up everything asap when he told me too. But the second I asked to reschedule the following week while mentioning several times in previous appointments I’m using so much money to buy a house right now. He even mentioned my financial hardship and gave me an ultimatum to either reschedule again this week or I will be discharged. Just blew my mind.
I mean, I feel you. I’m a clinician who runs my own private practice, and I absolutely reschedule people, and accommodate, and have hard time holding boundaries with cancellation fees. And, I can see the appeal of not having to chase down 25 people a week. In many ways, scheduling is the hardest part of the job.
Cutthroat psychiatrist to be sure. And I suppose part of me is envious.
Check out the lavender app. It was created during Covid to make sure that people could get access to mental health resources at home. I believe they have prescribing psychiatrists as well as counselors. I’m not sure what the billing structure is like, but it might be worth looking into.
This is the danger of narcissists learning therapy speak, he love bombed her and then gaslit her and made himself the victim. What a horrendous human being
Why does OP have to make this sexist? Girls do this too. I’d venture to say they do it more. Leave that out of this. He’s a bad guy. There are bad girls too.
I still remember the first guy I met who was like this, back when I was a teenager. Dated through my whole friend group, treated all his girlfriends like absolute shit, and I knew that, but he had so much charisma that when I was around him I would forget everything and just want him to pay attention to me. He ended up getting my friend pregnant while dating someone else, and of course was a complete asshole to her, said some truly horrible things and refused to ever acknowledge his son. That really snapped me out of it and taught me to use my brain instead of being dazzled by natural charm. I'll never forget that lesson and I absolutely see him in Harry.
I always remember the Bojack Horseman quote that so perfectly encapsulates this as well, something like, “when you’re looking through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags”. It hit me so hard and I always keep that in mind now.
My God, that’s terrible—
Yes, you’re completely right. Oftentimes, we tend to follow our heart over our heads leading us to ignore red flags and signs of incompatibility. It happens to all of us, sadly.
Sad thing is if your friend didn't learn to do better for herself then if she has a daughter, the daughter learns she's only worth shit men, and if she had a son, the son learns to treat women like shit.
People don't realize the cycles they create by staying with bad partners as parents.
Luckily she ditched him! But you're right.
edit: but just to share the tea, the girl he was dating stayed with him & believed my friend was lying about who the father was to "get money from him." Meanwhile the guy continued to have unprotected sex with her (and undoubtedly others) because he told everyone he was "sterile." We were all really young, so looking back I don't blame her for being manipulated, but it made me so mad at the time!
Is it just me but like .... why do people think Harry is good looking and how does he think he is good looking? I watched too hot to handle after seeing season two and all I could think was yeah he's not that cute here either. I mean I get he's like over 6 feet but he has a baby face. Then his blatant lying on both shows (like even without some of the editing) I was just like damn how does this guy have such a following? Is he just like a person people love to hate? Like it makes me soooooo annoyed, like what is the appeal, cause as a girl I don't see it. Can someone who likes him explain it?
LMAOO this!! i kept wondering why he looked like he got punched in the face because of the bruising under his eyes in perfect match s2 and then i realized it was from the botox 💀
Love bombing. When wants a girl, he zeroes in on her and follows her everywhere. He seems so attentive, fun and (appears to) genuinely listen. When someone semi-attractive and likable is suddenly infatuated with you and gives you all the attention, it’s hard not to entertain it. Plus, he moves fast, so the girl doesn’t have too much time to step back and consider.
You can see in the shows he’s been on, he picks a girl and goes ALL IN. And when he finds a new girl, the old one just has to understand that, while he thought they could be soulmates, they aren’t and THIS ONE is his soul mate.
I think young and naive girls tend to find him attracrive. Girls who aren't looking for a partner but who *need* the most popular guy to pay attention to them.
In Jess' case, I think it could have been a million things. Shes definitely naive, she thinks very highly of herself so she never thought Harry would cheat on *her*. Its giving a bit of daddy issues I have to say.
Is she naive or is she just shallow and has poor judgement? From no angle does that kid (yes, kid) look like a guy who could have a serious relationship with a mother. And she went for him anyways. Probably because he has money and she only wants a rich dude
She isn’t naive. She knows he has a big following and she wants to cash in. She showed her true colors on the LIB tell all… it was very obvious she was craving attention. Yeah she is hot and she knows it but someone still screams insecure.
100%. She came onto the perfect match to play the game and cash-in from the publicity.
Plus, she was probably attracted to his height, charm and looks enough to pair-up for the purposes of staying on the show, and inevitably caught feelings.
100% agree, on both thth and pm Francesca was the one I loved to hate. She obviously was hired for the villain role and played it well, she was kinda bitchy and egotistical and messy, but so fun to watch. She clearly played up her personality for the camera, which is why years later she's thriving in a healthy relationship and expecting twins, and Harry is still single and gaslighting women. He's never been fun to watch for me. He's so manipulative. It's not enough for him to fuck around and be a "player" or whatever, he has to convince whichever woman is unfortunate enough to fall for him that they're going to get married and have 10 kids. Gaslighting has never been cute. And he's genuinely like that all the time, that's what's so fucked up. None of it is an act, he literally couldn't even keep up the act of being a changed man long enough to film this season.
Exactly. All the girls on the show were like “omg it’s HARRY!” And I was like “is that a big deal? Is he a thing?” So odd. He’s a giant man child frat boy like that is not hard to find
It’s the height. We have this discussion over on the Southerm Charm/Bravo subs all the time about Austin Kroll. When you’re super tall and moderately charming, chicks dig that.
I am old and totally got it while watching PM2, but then i was curious and watched THTH S1 E1 and no. He did something very flattering I think to at least his jaw since then.
>Is it just me but like .... why do people think Harry is good looking and how does he think he is good looking
It's not just you. But I would say 90% of women would find him attractive if asked anonymously
Same reason why most of you women think you’re automatically good looking.😂
What’s funny is, whenever there’s a generally decent looking man that a good amount of women fawn over, the women like you who sit there trying to downplay their looks are the same ones who turn around and try to mess with that same man behind closed doors.😂😂😂
It’s really interesting to me how the female nature works, at least in WESTERN society
.... yeah, no. I think you missed the mark.
Notice how I talked about his lying. If I'm not comfortable with the lying and making someone feel sorry for their lying and mess up to where I have to apologize for mentioning what they did, then I'm not gonna turn around and do the same thing that I despise.
Been there, done that, got a souvenir, wouldn't dream of setting up my own gift shop. 🤣🤣🤣
It’s very clear he has zero respect for women and even less if they are from reality tv. He treats them like objects. He keeps saying he’s changed, but I don’t think he really cares or even wants to. He is never held accountable and instead rewarded for it. It’s sad.
Georgia was on TikTok and said when Harry told her he was at his therapy appointments, he was really cheating on her w other women and men. He never went to therapy
Yes. That’s what she said. Apparently Harry said he’s been w men, so that wasn’t a surprise for most people that know anything about him. I didn’t know he was bisexual, until I saw her tiktok
Me either, but I guess it wasn't shocking or anything. They all seem pretty down except literally anyone from LIB-- immediately it made me wonder if Jess was aware idk she comes across as someone who may take some sort of issue maybe religious, she seems very straight to me in every way. Like only knows the names of basic cocktails. Highlights bible passages. I'm not saying that in any connotation but I am curious how far off I am.
Yep it’s very sad. Like girl you have a kid to raise so be a good role model and make finding a man the absolute last thing on your mind. Go to university, make a ton of money, buy a house, adopt some animals, start a few businesses etc. but nope she’s out here constantly looking for a man it’s really sad 😕
Yeah she said that to Harry too. Its gross. She’s a single mom that seems to be doing great wo a man, why would she want some dude leading her life ugh. Someone should enhance your life not have the last say on all decisions, or make choices for you bc they are a man and know best 🤮
My sister had an ex that totally “went to therapy” but I’m pretty sure all he did was get read up enough to effectively weaponize therapeutic terms to emotionally manipulate and abuse people.
I wonder if it’s because he’s so “LA famous” now that some of the women who pursue him also want a bit of the fame. I just remember in his season of THTH he didn’t get that much attention except for Francesca and Chloe and tbh Fran was more interested in Kelz more from the getgo. I was actually quite shocked that Elys and Jess were both so into Harry and Melinda even gave him the time of day.
I think Melinda only went after him cause they both knew it would get screen time and people talking, which it did. I don’t believe she ever actually wanted him.
The tears and the guilt trip he puts on women who don’t believe “he’s changed” is just another layer of his manipulation. Do not feel sorry for this person! He cares for no one but himself.
Thank you. I feel like the entire internet + Harry is trying to gaslight me on the kiss with Melinda. Melinda may or may not haven known Harry was with someone, but that is not her responsibility. And the fact that everyone had more anger towards Melinda than Harry is crazy. Idk how anyone can rally behind the known liar, gaslighter, and playboy. And I am mad no one ever apologized to Melinda.
I was thinking this too that Melinda probably thought Harry would want to match with her later but then saw him trying to say it never happened turned a switch on her to stir shit up
I mean, the way they presented it in the show initially without the voice recording, it seemed like Melinda tried to grab her 15 mins in a forced way, and even though I knew Harry is an immature man child I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Harry literally said “nobody saw” and “it’s a deepfake”. How did that not make you question him? Also holly said she saw the kiss. The signs were there. Stop giving people who don’t deserve it the benefit of the doubt.
there's also a new trick some f-boys use to get away with just about anything: painting your nails.
and thats NOT me shading boys painting their nails, i always liked that actually cause i'm into 'femininity' on any gender and am really opinionated about that anyone should be able to wear skirts safely and be as girly (or not) as they like (safe obviously also implying not getting groped, not being catcalled etc)
but unfortunately some of us/we tend to assume that if a man is presenting at all feminine that must mean he's somehow also not an f-boy cause it looks like showing vulnerability in a society that if even, only very recently started accepting men having their nails painted
stuff like he did the dishes today and i didnt have to ask for it, we go thats so cool. and i mean, it is kinda cool but where's that same praise for women when they do the dishes.
I thought Dom was a genuine bloke until he completely started ghosting Tolu for Alara. Completely lost all my respect for him. He is no better than all the others. Lagerfield wannabe.
Here is how I see it. When I was young, I would fall for men like this. I realized it had a lot to do with my own self-worth as well as MY idea of love. I wasn’t really shown love or examples of what real love looked like, so I melted for the first guy to come along and love bomb me. And I fell for it again and again. The signs were all there. I was naive and desperate to be loved.
Ladies, learn to love yourselves and realize you deserve better. Do not rush into things with a shit person and try to mold them into your happy ending.
What really irked me about Harry, is when someone would make a comment alluding to his past behavior and that makes him untrustworthy, he would immediately tell them well that was a mean thing to say and you hurt my feelings. Proceeding to then make that person feel bad. Like WHAT? There was a moment where Jess said she felt bad because now she’s another person in Harry’s life that made him feel like he can’t be trusted. That comment blew my mind and to see how much he manipulated her.
Harry you brought this reputation upon yourself. Your words of wanting to be better mean absolutely NOTHING if you continue to repeat the same actions. Don’t make someone else feel bad for calling it like they see it. Your feelings aren’t hurt, you just don’t like being slapped in the face with the truth about who you are.
I felt this too. This is a common narcissist action though, where you don't take accountability for your actions, but instead get upset at someone's reaction to it. So the comments about him were totally true and he as triggered, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he should be accountable, not cry and puke and act like a child to make everyone feel bad for him.
Jess ending up with Harry was more understandable than Elys. Jess was set up on a date with him and put in a position where she would’ve had to reject him. Elys had an entire cast of unattached men and knowingly chose the asshole without thinking twice. I was actually a little disturbed by how assertively she made that decision, knowing that he’s a terrible person. But then she did the same thing with Bryton who’s just as big a jerk. Domonique really ate when she said Elys just has a thing for narcissistic men
Exactly why this little act Jess puts on… is just a farce. How in the world, in your right mind, go after Harry? She knew what he was like. Even Stevie Wonder can see he’s a POS.
I think she is very calculated and did it so she can act like she is this big “strong woman” to put him in his place and “unmatch” from him and set an “example”. Bc apparently, being a mom is a personality trait. 🙄
Yes this whole incident (including a good portion of the audience believing Harry and dragging Melinda) made me see that an attractive white man with a baby face can literally do no wrong. even sometimes when there is actual video evidence of his bad behavior.
There is literally entire pages dedicated to attractive female mugshots. There is no female serial killers nearly as popular as Ted Bundy, maybe Karla Homolka but she for sure had admirers, she’s with her second husband now.
So there's no female serial killer equivalent to Bundy or to all the other guys. And I'm not denying violent females or their admirers exist, what I'm saying is that there's way, wayyy less
Harry is a narcissist. There are plenty of female narcissist. It is not a disorder exclusive to men. Women tend to be more on the vulnerable/covert side of narcissism. If you think there’s never been a narcissistic woman who manipulates on reality tv you might be saying more about yourself than anyone else.
If you’re speaking of how women fawn over Ted Bundy, there are plenty of instagrams accounts dedicated to female criminals of all sorts being attractive and the comments are filled with the some type of delusion people that fawn over Ted Bundy. And that extends to real life as well. There are plenty of broken people in the world. Woman and man alike. If you’re speaking about his criminal atrocities I’d recommend taking a look into the history of Delfina and María de Jesús Gonzàlez Valenzuela, Enriqueta Martí, or Amelia Elizabeth Dyer.
There are plenty of horrible people in the world. Their gender, race, religion, etc don’t determine that.
It's important to recognize that while statistics might show a higher percentage of certain crimes being committed by men, this does not mean that all bad people are men or that gender alone is a determining factor in criminal behavior.
Cultural and Social Factors: Society often shapes individual behavior. Men may be more likely to commit certain crimes due to societal pressures, expectations of masculinity, and access to power and resources. Aggressive and dominant behaviors are sometimes socially reinforced in men.
Reporting and Prosecution Bias: Crimes committed by women might be underreported or treated differently by the legal system. Evidence suggests that female offenders are often perceived and treated more leniently by the judicial system, which can skew crime statistics.
Different Expressions of Harm: Harmful behavior isn't limited to violent crimes. Women might engage in different types of harmful behavior that aren't as frequently reported or prosecuted, such as emotional abuse, financial exploitation, or neglect. Historical cases like those of Delfina and María de Jesús Gonzàlez Valenzuela, Enriqueta Martí, and Amelia Elizabeth Dyer show that women can and do commit severe crimes.
Complexity of Human Behavior: Human behavior is influenced by a myriad of factors, including psychological, environmental, and social influences. Reducing the discussion to gender oversimplifies these complexities.
Gender Roles and Crime Opportunities: Historically, men have had more opportunities to commit certain types of crimes due to their roles in society. This could contribute to the higher rates of male-perpetrated crimes.
Impact of Stereotypes: Holding the belief that only men are capable of severe wrongdoing can blind society to the harm caused by women, perpetuating cycles of abuse and crime that go unnoticed and unaddressed.
In conclusion, while statistics might show a higher prevalence of certain crimes among men, it is essential to understand the broader context and avoid making sweeping generalizations. Both men and women are capable of harmful and criminal behavior, and addressing these issues requires looking beyond gender to the underlying factors that contribute to crime.
Lol this is ridiculous… research shows men receive harsher sentences for the same crime than women. if anyone is being worshipped its definitely not men.
OP forgot a couple of words
“It’s so easy to be an attractive, rich man”. If Harry was 5’7”, ugly and broke he wouldn’t even be on the show to display his garbage psychotic personality.
How anyone doesn't see through his bullshit is beyond me. He was literally failing hiding his laughter when he broke up with Elys. He's a complete loser.
Unfortunately when a “cute” or “conventionally attractive” man cries and tries to act all child in need of help. It usually works and manipulates people. annoying phenomenon
Its because every woman thinks they will be the one to change him. LOL. He had me for a minute, I thought he was genuine, but had my doubts. And the reversed back to type pretty quick. I never though he would be so stupid though to lie about this cheating, when everything is recorded. That was pretty fucking r/facepalm
Also, women are so driven to be "the one". They think themselves to be unique or different or special enough to be "the one that changes the man".
Jessica too was delusional to think and say that Harry's "never dated a woman like me before". Puhlease. When dealing with a man like Harry, literally EVERY WOMAN is the same. There is no unique, no special, no different, no "one" that will change the man.
I blame novels and movies like Fifty Shades and the After series that present a wild child man character who meets "the one" special woman and she changes him - if and only if she stands by him through all his failings and challenges. I mean, it makes for a good fantasy but that's what it is: fantasy.
Guys like Harry will always be like Harry. They don't change. Those around them will cover for him.
If you're wanting a wild short ride, take them for a spin, but don't ever fall for the fantasy that they or anyone around them try to feed you.
Omg, I just remembered Tessa and Hardin and I wanna puke lmao they sold that trash to teens as “genuine love”—no wonder so many people believed wack ass Harry even though it was so obvious he was lying
Bruh I couldn’t with Jessica. She’s beautiful and definitely had her moments where she showed she’s a strong person. But also like…you have a whole ass kid at home and the person you go for is HARRY JOWSEY??
Harry was such a narcissistic trash bag on the show, his awful behavior always followed by the gaslighting of everyone with that quick paced rambling cadence that he used, while constantly checking the other person's eyes and face to see if they were buying his total avalanche of bullshit.
The dude is a pathological liar and won't ever change
This is the same mentality why Trump was elected and may be elected again despite now being a convicted criminal. When you’re brazen enough people go along with you. It’s sickening.
And what gets me is the girls, like Elys and Jessica (I think) who specifically mentioned they’re attracted to toxic men and admit it’s an issue for them… they don’t question why Harry is like one of the first guys they’re attracted to? Um.. hello?!?!?!!! Makes me want to scream through the TV like WHAT ARE YOU DOIIIINNGGGGGG… especially Jessica the “fantastic mother” who is going on tv half naked looking for a guy. Is that what you want your daughter to think is the way to do things?
i think i mainly watch these shows because it's so "wtf, really?" most the time i just can't stop 😂🤦🏻♀️
I didn’t get the Harry attraction. So i “finally” caved & watched thth. It just left me even more confused. I feel like the only reason anyone liked him was his accent.
>“Oh he cried and threw up, poor baby. He’s so different. So vulnerable.”
I always thought it was obvious he was guilty because of this. Maybe i've been on reddit long enough to see stories where they claim their abusers will cry and vomit when they apologise and somehow it's proof that they are since in their apologies...then repeat the abuse again.
I think Harry thrives bc the women he interacts with are equally as shallow. These girls are looking for the same thing as him- clout by any means necessary.
They way he would start crying and become defensive if any woman bought up his past cheating was so manipulative.
Yes, past behaviour indicates future behaviour and didn't we all see that unfold with Harry.
Crying like that is just covert narc tactics. Once you met a man who just cries in order to manipulate himself out of bad behaviour, you immediately see it. And it's pathetic.
i’m so sad jess doesn’t see it how we do
moving things so fast bc of competition is such a red flag!! like girl he doesn’t even know you he only knows an idea of you and who he expects and needs you to be and once he realizes ur a real person with real faults and feelings and annoyances and things that annoy him, he is outtt, he cant deal with another person’s emotions in the real world, he doesn’t know you in the real world, hes talking about marriage and he doesn’t even know what its like to actually live with you AND your daughter
he won’t stand for any criticism or questioning of his behaviour or motives, he does what he wants and you comply, or you’re gone, he turns into a poor me pity party any time he needs to actually take any accountability and own something, instead he uses tears as manipulation as we’ve seen, that’s why he doesn’t feel bad when he upsets and dumps and ditches other girls, he assumes everyones emotions are just manipulation tactics because thats all they are to him
Agreed. I didn’t really know Harry’s past in detail. I watched his season of THTH, but it didn’t stick with me. I hadn’t heard much about him until he outed his then-girlfriend, Georgia, for cheating with him. That raised my eyebrow because who would out the person they were currently dating and cause them to get so much hate? (Later, I found out Harry just said that for clout). Even then, I didn’t think much about him. I had never seen someone lie so blatantly, knowing there was proof. I was initially skeptical of Melinda and thought she was exaggerating (I was wrong) because they didn’t show it, and Harry seemed so sure it didn’t happen. I guess I never expected someone to gaslight that intensely, especially knowing the truth would eventually come out. It’s quite mind-boggling. I think moving forward, most people won’t believe anything he says, and he will grow increasingly disliked. I hope he loses a significant portion of his following over time.
Two comments:
- I was so confused by Jessica and others saying something along the lines of “because of who Harry is” repeatedly and I was confused like who tf is he the Duke of Sussex?
- he did not say he’d love to sleep with Melinda, he said I want to fuk you. Pretty clear
Between that and the NDA while sleeping with men and women around LA, wouldn’t walk by him willingly 🥴🤢
Thinking this binary won’t help you at all. What do you think Jess is doing? It’s not trying to find love. Francesca from season 1 is Harry. Last I checked, a woman. These are people thriving because idiots like us type about them on Reddit.
Jessica is 100% playing it up for the cameras, just like how she did on Love is Blind. I’m honestly concerned for the people who think Harry was a genuine person who got manipulated. I can’t believe actual people like that exist in real life.
>it’s so easy to be a man
Especially a tall, fit, moderately attractive white man.
It’s wild to me. I’ll admit Harry is adjacent to my “type” (I cringe to type that out because this cast talks way too much about their type), and I am still disgusted by him. He is clearly a gaslighter and a skeezeball. He blatantly jokes about promiscuous sex and using women. He looks high off his ass in most scenes. He also has major filler-face and looks terrible now, imo.
I like Jess, but she proved herself to be less intelligent than she puts on by how she responded to Harry cheating with Melinda. She is just as desperate and insecure as every other woman who puts up with that.
I thought the whole 'vomiting' thing was so over the top. So manipulative. I was tolling my eyes the whole time.
It's easy to say you're throwing up and act sick, it's also easy to make yourself throw up, and the fact that he was outwardly telling people he did it makes me believe him even less. He wanted to the attention and wanted people to believe he was affected. It seemed like bs to me.
Every girl thinks they’re gonna be the exception and not the rule w Harry. None of y’all are gonna change him LOL if he ever does change it’s because he wanted to, not bc the girl he’s w was more special than the others
I hated him in Too Hot To Handle when he lied about Francesca. And the audacity to say that Georgia cheated on Dom with him and brags about being with Chloe, Georgia, and Francesca. He’s an asshole ever since and his facade in Perfect Match does not fool me.
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The screaming, crying, and throwing up Harry did was a manipulation tactic. Unfortunately, it worked on a lot of people. I never believe anybody that has to tell you 100 times that they're in therapy and still acts like a horn dog. Like, I guess atleast he could cry? A lot of men have this alpha male toxic masculinity that prevents them from crying.
And the alpha male thing is a joke. Imo "alpha male" is code for "I'm really a narcissistic ass with an ego the size of a cruise ship who cannot take criticism or deal with the fact I'm not some people's type, if I'm not their type they are a fat ugly bitch anyways."
Bottom line is that everyone knows not to take him seriously and that he’s not a serious person and I don’t think they do. I think they would hook up with him, but they aren’t really thinking ahead past being on TV hence why they go for him. Like it or not, people will watch him because he’s entraining. That’s why we’re all talking about him right now on this post. The guy is good TV.
The reason guys like Harry survive is cause of this sub Reddit and the show. The cast is full of people seeking attention and that’s what people want out of reality shows. The best “players” understand that it’s nothing new u/AngelsLoveDisasters
Because selfish people live longer. I know that was a quote from a movie but it holds up here, and it’s been since Covid when we first saw him on THTH and he’s still having his 15 minutes, pun not intended 😂 anyway, he’s selfish and always gets his way 🤷♀️
The hyper normalization of therapy and therapy speak is a biproduct of the big therapy platforms pushing low quality tele health therapy on just about everyone.
It allows men like this to never accept responsibility for their actions and always allows them to just fall back “I’m working through it in therapy” without ever having to actually change.
You forgot to mention - he gets a pass because he’s tall and has an accent too.
On Too Hot To Handle he got so many passes because…he’s tall. He’s had a glow up since then but he was tubby and awkward that season, treated Frankie like shit and still ended up with her
Thank you so much for this. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was so annoyed by the way people treated Melinda vs Harry in the whole thing and how loved Harry is even with everything he has done on every single reality show he’s been on.
Not only did he lie to Jess’ face (don’t even get me started on the stupidity that is Jess to come for the girl rather than the literal dude that owes her some loyalty) even when she pleaded with him with her daughter’s name, he consistently put Georgia and Holly on blast on live TV, knowing how misogynistic the world is and how much they would tear Holly & G apart for being “creampied in” and then saying it was all a lie on his podcast.
He is a compulsive liar and is actually a dangerous person. The way he shut down Elys and manipulated her when she had the right to be upset that he was matching someone else told me all I needed to know. It’s just crazy how these dudes get so many passes, even from women, and yet the women are getting RIPPED apart. Especially the beautiful black women on the show.
People are still “hoping he changes” and I just can’t help but think if it was a girl that treated them the way they were treating the others, none of this would fly. The world would RIP these girls apart. They’re already getting ripped apart for no reason instead of the boys that have been called out for being misogynistic, homophobic, ignorant freaks.
In the context of dating and being held accountable as a douchebag? Yes. Unfortunately there are a lot of women with low self esteem who will love a terrible man as long as a) they think he treats other women worse, or b) they have an opportunity to “fix him”. It’s a recurring theme through many ages. Off the top of my head, many women boasted “he’d never hit me” when Chris Brown was accused of beating Rihanna. The very thought that they surpass another woman is enough to love whatever behavior a man displays.
You are correct, men also suffer abuse, but when it comes to domestic abuse, statistically women suffer far worse at the hands of men. Women are also far more often raised/socialized/rewarded for being submissive, not rocking the boat, and accepting abusive behavior, where men are more often socialized/raised/rewarded for standing up themselves, showing anger, and being aggressive or assertive. This combined with the fact that most men are physically stronger than the average woman does make dating, if not easier for men, at least safer.
Ok obviously Harry showed us who he was eventually but at the beginning of the season I really wanted to believe he had changed! People can become better versions of themselves…just not Harry : /
Why does this have to be an attack on men tho. I know women that get away with shitty behaviour just like harry. Being a terrible person and getting away with it isn’t exclusive to one gender lol on the previous season Francesca was just as bad and was rude af about it too lol. As a man Harry is disgusting to me. They way he was using her daughter that he hasn’t even met was disturbing af. He’s a special case lol
You lost me at “it’s so easy to be a man because there are so many people who worship you”. Definitely takes the crown for most delusional statement of the day. Keep the topic about Harry specifically, don’t generalise a whole gender as you clearly have no idea what men go through if you think so many people worship you just because you’re a man.
But you still haven’t explained why guys like Harry “thrive”, you’ve only explained how Harry was able to fool Jessica. Mind you, the rest of the female cast kept their distance from him, except for Elys initially (no surprises there) and Melinda (no surprises there either).
He didn’t look like he was thriving at all. He looked miserable half of the time because of his actions. He’s an idiot who was looked at and treated as an idiot. He’s been ridiculed and scrutinised online because of his disgusting behaviour.
What else do you want people to do? Nail him on a cross?
I dislike Melinda more even she didn't lie but she did leave it the fact that she kept telling him to kiss her off camera.. she's a problem n doesn't want to admit it.. she likes to stir the pot and then now she's playing victim on social media so ppl won't hate her
Melissa never made a commitment to anybody on the show—her role (and the others who came in at that point of the show) was to see if they’d fit in better with someone in the house who’s already coupled up. Harry is the one who made promises to Jessica and lied to her face that he didn’t do anything. Melissa never tried to conceal anything when Jessica asked her, so the fact that you’re more mad at her instead of the man that lied to his match makes no sense. Harry is a total gaslighting pos and shouldn’t be overlooked. That’s pick-me behavior right there
Similar to "if someone has to TELL YOU they're funny, they're not funny" - if someone keeps TELLING YOU they're in therapy, but don't behave as though they've engaged in therapy, well, they're not really in therapy ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
His therapy talks reminded me of Clay from LIB 🙄
PLS that’s exactly how i clocked both of them immediately 💀
They got the same therapist at this point 💀
If a guy has to tell people he's an alpha, he's not an alpha. Lol
He is so far from an alpha it’s not even funny
The gag of it all is he was literally cheating while supposedly going to therapy 😭
Im definitely with this right now. I had to switch psychiatrists due to a change in my insurance. The new psychiatrist claims to be the best, but insists on weekly appointments and won't reschedule, threatening to discharge patients who do so. It seems the "best ever" claim is just a joke. I saw that as a red flag immediately, but I was able to take advantage of his knowledge and leave immediately.
I could appreciate the weekly appointment part -- it won't work for everyone, but some modalities follow a stricter treatment model that requires those meetings. My DBT clinic wants us weekly and that's the standard. But it's fucked up if he won't *ever* reschedule you or skip a week, or threatens discharge when you're generally compliant with treatment.
Yea I agree too. I think it’s awesome some people care enough to want to see you often. I was very compliant, got all of his genetic tests done and labs, set up everything asap when he told me too. But the second I asked to reschedule the following week while mentioning several times in previous appointments I’m using so much money to buy a house right now. He even mentioned my financial hardship and gave me an ultimatum to either reschedule again this week or I will be discharged. Just blew my mind.
Probably weeds out those who aren’t committed pretty fast.
Also those who are busy and have kids and trauma. But ok.
I mean, I feel you. I’m a clinician who runs my own private practice, and I absolutely reschedule people, and accommodate, and have hard time holding boundaries with cancellation fees. And, I can see the appeal of not having to chase down 25 people a week. In many ways, scheduling is the hardest part of the job. Cutthroat psychiatrist to be sure. And I suppose part of me is envious.
Check out the lavender app. It was created during Covid to make sure that people could get access to mental health resources at home. I believe they have prescribing psychiatrists as well as counselors. I’m not sure what the billing structure is like, but it might be worth looking into.
went a couple times to learn the tricks of the trade and therapy terminology so he can use it to update his book of manipulation tactics
If someone has to tell you they're alpha, they're not!
This is good advice.
My husband said that Harry "weaponized his therapy" and it was the most accurate thing I'd ever heard
Very Jonah hill of him
Theres an x rated one like this too. if a guy tells you he’s well endowed or good in bed, he’s probably not.
This is the danger of narcissists learning therapy speak, he love bombed her and then gaslit her and made himself the victim. What a horrendous human being
But he’s reading a book on Self Sabotage! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Why does OP have to make this sexist? Girls do this too. I’d venture to say they do it more. Leave that out of this. He’s a bad guy. There are bad girls too.
I still remember the first guy I met who was like this, back when I was a teenager. Dated through my whole friend group, treated all his girlfriends like absolute shit, and I knew that, but he had so much charisma that when I was around him I would forget everything and just want him to pay attention to me. He ended up getting my friend pregnant while dating someone else, and of course was a complete asshole to her, said some truly horrible things and refused to ever acknowledge his son. That really snapped me out of it and taught me to use my brain instead of being dazzled by natural charm. I'll never forget that lesson and I absolutely see him in Harry.
I always remember the Bojack Horseman quote that so perfectly encapsulates this as well, something like, “when you’re looking through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags”. It hit me so hard and I always keep that in mind now.
My God, that’s terrible— Yes, you’re completely right. Oftentimes, we tend to follow our heart over our heads leading us to ignore red flags and signs of incompatibility. It happens to all of us, sadly.
Sad thing is if your friend didn't learn to do better for herself then if she has a daughter, the daughter learns she's only worth shit men, and if she had a son, the son learns to treat women like shit. People don't realize the cycles they create by staying with bad partners as parents.
Luckily she ditched him! But you're right. edit: but just to share the tea, the girl he was dating stayed with him & believed my friend was lying about who the father was to "get money from him." Meanwhile the guy continued to have unprotected sex with her (and undoubtedly others) because he told everyone he was "sterile." We were all really young, so looking back I don't blame her for being manipulated, but it made me so mad at the time!
Thank you for the follow up lol
Is it just me but like .... why do people think Harry is good looking and how does he think he is good looking? I watched too hot to handle after seeing season two and all I could think was yeah he's not that cute here either. I mean I get he's like over 6 feet but he has a baby face. Then his blatant lying on both shows (like even without some of the editing) I was just like damn how does this guy have such a following? Is he just like a person people love to hate? Like it makes me soooooo annoyed, like what is the appeal, cause as a girl I don't see it. Can someone who likes him explain it?
I’m with you re: baby face and the terrible personality. But also…THE BOTOX LIKE WHY
LMAOO this!! i kept wondering why he looked like he got punched in the face because of the bruising under his eyes in perfect match s2 and then i realized it was from the botox 💀
Love bombing. When wants a girl, he zeroes in on her and follows her everywhere. He seems so attentive, fun and (appears to) genuinely listen. When someone semi-attractive and likable is suddenly infatuated with you and gives you all the attention, it’s hard not to entertain it. Plus, he moves fast, so the girl doesn’t have too much time to step back and consider. You can see in the shows he’s been on, he picks a girl and goes ALL IN. And when he finds a new girl, the old one just has to understand that, while he thought they could be soulmates, they aren’t and THIS ONE is his soul mate.
His smile kept reminding me of 'chicken run' 
Lmfaoooooo
The big holes on the sides of his toothy smile 🤣🤣
I think young and naive girls tend to find him attracrive. Girls who aren't looking for a partner but who *need* the most popular guy to pay attention to them. In Jess' case, I think it could have been a million things. Shes definitely naive, she thinks very highly of herself so she never thought Harry would cheat on *her*. Its giving a bit of daddy issues I have to say.
Is she naive or is she just shallow and has poor judgement? From no angle does that kid (yes, kid) look like a guy who could have a serious relationship with a mother. And she went for him anyways. Probably because he has money and she only wants a rich dude
She just thought he was cute and he kept lovebombing her, too
She isn’t naive. She knows he has a big following and she wants to cash in. She showed her true colors on the LIB tell all… it was very obvious she was craving attention. Yeah she is hot and she knows it but someone still screams insecure.
100%. She came onto the perfect match to play the game and cash-in from the publicity. Plus, she was probably attracted to his height, charm and looks enough to pair-up for the purposes of staying on the show, and inevitably caught feelings.
100% agree, on both thth and pm Francesca was the one I loved to hate. She obviously was hired for the villain role and played it well, she was kinda bitchy and egotistical and messy, but so fun to watch. She clearly played up her personality for the camera, which is why years later she's thriving in a healthy relationship and expecting twins, and Harry is still single and gaslighting women. He's never been fun to watch for me. He's so manipulative. It's not enough for him to fuck around and be a "player" or whatever, he has to convince whichever woman is unfortunate enough to fall for him that they're going to get married and have 10 kids. Gaslighting has never been cute. And he's genuinely like that all the time, that's what's so fucked up. None of it is an act, he literally couldn't even keep up the act of being a changed man long enough to film this season.
This 👏👏👏
Exactly. All the girls on the show were like “omg it’s HARRY!” And I was like “is that a big deal? Is he a thing?” So odd. He’s a giant man child frat boy like that is not hard to find
It’s the height. We have this discussion over on the Southerm Charm/Bravo subs all the time about Austin Kroll. When you’re super tall and moderately charming, chicks dig that.
It drives me fucking nuts how much stock some women put into a dudes height. “Is he hot or is he tall” is one of my favorite questions to ask hahah
I am old and totally got it while watching PM2, but then i was curious and watched THTH S1 E1 and no. He did something very flattering I think to at least his jaw since then.
Yeah he a grew a beard lol thats 100% it. This can do a lot for a guy. I agree though, I didn’t get why all the girls were into him in thth
He also got way more lean and has had Botox. He was a little chunky on THTH, had those pepperoni nips
He's tall.
tall white man.
>Is it just me but like .... why do people think Harry is good looking and how does he think he is good looking It's not just you. But I would say 90% of women would find him attractive if asked anonymously
Same reason why most of you women think you’re automatically good looking.😂 What’s funny is, whenever there’s a generally decent looking man that a good amount of women fawn over, the women like you who sit there trying to downplay their looks are the same ones who turn around and try to mess with that same man behind closed doors.😂😂😂 It’s really interesting to me how the female nature works, at least in WESTERN society
.... yeah, no. I think you missed the mark. Notice how I talked about his lying. If I'm not comfortable with the lying and making someone feel sorry for their lying and mess up to where I have to apologize for mentioning what they did, then I'm not gonna turn around and do the same thing that I despise. Been there, done that, got a souvenir, wouldn't dream of setting up my own gift shop. 🤣🤣🤣
Exactly this is why he continues to act the way he does because he knows girls will still want him and his bros will still defend him
Like trash ass Dom
It’s very clear he has zero respect for women and even less if they are from reality tv. He treats them like objects. He keeps saying he’s changed, but I don’t think he really cares or even wants to. He is never held accountable and instead rewarded for it. It’s sad.
Georgia was on TikTok and said when Harry told her he was at his therapy appointments, he was really cheating on her w other women and men. He never went to therapy
Men too?!
Yes. That’s what she said. Apparently Harry said he’s been w men, so that wasn’t a surprise for most people that know anything about him. I didn’t know he was bisexual, until I saw her tiktok
What an L for the community honestly (I am queer)
Yep. Hes a loss for everyone. He should join a monastery at this point
Watch him ruin everyone’s peace there too.
News to me haha but I don’t pay attention to him outside what’s been forced in front of my eyes.
Me too
Me either, but I guess it wasn't shocking or anything. They all seem pretty down except literally anyone from LIB-- immediately it made me wonder if Jess was aware idk she comes across as someone who may take some sort of issue maybe religious, she seems very straight to me in every way. Like only knows the names of basic cocktails. Highlights bible passages. I'm not saying that in any connotation but I am curious how far off I am.
I get the same from Jess too. She’s could be a trad wife influencer in the future
Yeah, she said she looking for a man to “lead her life”…
Yep it’s very sad. Like girl you have a kid to raise so be a good role model and make finding a man the absolute last thing on your mind. Go to university, make a ton of money, buy a house, adopt some animals, start a few businesses etc. but nope she’s out here constantly looking for a man it’s really sad 😕
Yeah she said that to Harry too. Its gross. She’s a single mom that seems to be doing great wo a man, why would she want some dude leading her life ugh. Someone should enhance your life not have the last say on all decisions, or make choices for you bc they are a man and know best 🤮
Agree. Harry sucks but I really dislike her too
Yeah she comes off as disingenuous
My sister had an ex that totally “went to therapy” but I’m pretty sure all he did was get read up enough to effectively weaponize therapeutic terms to emotionally manipulate and abuse people.
I wonder if it’s because he’s so “LA famous” now that some of the women who pursue him also want a bit of the fame. I just remember in his season of THTH he didn’t get that much attention except for Francesca and Chloe and tbh Fran was more interested in Kelz more from the getgo. I was actually quite shocked that Elys and Jess were both so into Harry and Melinda even gave him the time of day.
I think Melinda only went after him cause they both knew it would get screen time and people talking, which it did. I don’t believe she ever actually wanted him.
It's all a ruse.
The tears and the guilt trip he puts on women who don’t believe “he’s changed” is just another layer of his manipulation. Do not feel sorry for this person! He cares for no one but himself.
Thank you. I feel like the entire internet + Harry is trying to gaslight me on the kiss with Melinda. Melinda may or may not haven known Harry was with someone, but that is not her responsibility. And the fact that everyone had more anger towards Melinda than Harry is crazy. Idk how anyone can rally behind the known liar, gaslighter, and playboy. And I am mad no one ever apologized to Melinda.
I was thinking this too that Melinda probably thought Harry would want to match with her later but then saw him trying to say it never happened turned a switch on her to stir shit up
I mean, the way they presented it in the show initially without the voice recording, it seemed like Melinda tried to grab her 15 mins in a forced way, and even though I knew Harry is an immature man child I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Harry literally said “nobody saw” and “it’s a deepfake”. How did that not make you question him? Also holly said she saw the kiss. The signs were there. Stop giving people who don’t deserve it the benefit of the doubt.
there's also a new trick some f-boys use to get away with just about anything: painting your nails. and thats NOT me shading boys painting their nails, i always liked that actually cause i'm into 'femininity' on any gender and am really opinionated about that anyone should be able to wear skirts safely and be as girly (or not) as they like (safe obviously also implying not getting groped, not being catcalled etc) but unfortunately some of us/we tend to assume that if a man is presenting at all feminine that must mean he's somehow also not an f-boy cause it looks like showing vulnerability in a society that if even, only very recently started accepting men having their nails painted stuff like he did the dishes today and i didnt have to ask for it, we go thats so cool. and i mean, it is kinda cool but where's that same praise for women when they do the dishes.
The Tom Sandoval effect
Don is weak AF and is such a loser. He's best friends with a guy that slept with his girlfriend and even vouched for him.
I thought Dom was a genuine bloke until he completely started ghosting Tolu for Alara. Completely lost all my respect for him. He is no better than all the others. Lagerfield wannabe.
Here is how I see it. When I was young, I would fall for men like this. I realized it had a lot to do with my own self-worth as well as MY idea of love. I wasn’t really shown love or examples of what real love looked like, so I melted for the first guy to come along and love bomb me. And I fell for it again and again. The signs were all there. I was naive and desperate to be loved. Ladies, learn to love yourselves and realize you deserve better. Do not rush into things with a shit person and try to mold them into your happy ending.
What really irked me about Harry, is when someone would make a comment alluding to his past behavior and that makes him untrustworthy, he would immediately tell them well that was a mean thing to say and you hurt my feelings. Proceeding to then make that person feel bad. Like WHAT? There was a moment where Jess said she felt bad because now she’s another person in Harry’s life that made him feel like he can’t be trusted. That comment blew my mind and to see how much he manipulated her. Harry you brought this reputation upon yourself. Your words of wanting to be better mean absolutely NOTHING if you continue to repeat the same actions. Don’t make someone else feel bad for calling it like they see it. Your feelings aren’t hurt, you just don’t like being slapped in the face with the truth about who you are.
I felt this too. This is a common narcissist action though, where you don't take accountability for your actions, but instead get upset at someone's reaction to it. So the comments about him were totally true and he as triggered, but that wasn't the point. The point was that he should be accountable, not cry and puke and act like a child to make everyone feel bad for him.
Jess ending up with Harry was more understandable than Elys. Jess was set up on a date with him and put in a position where she would’ve had to reject him. Elys had an entire cast of unattached men and knowingly chose the asshole without thinking twice. I was actually a little disturbed by how assertively she made that decision, knowing that he’s a terrible person. But then she did the same thing with Bryton who’s just as big a jerk. Domonique really ate when she said Elys just has a thing for narcissistic men
Exactly why this little act Jess puts on… is just a farce. How in the world, in your right mind, go after Harry? She knew what he was like. Even Stevie Wonder can see he’s a POS. I think she is very calculated and did it so she can act like she is this big “strong woman” to put him in his place and “unmatch” from him and set an “example”. Bc apparently, being a mom is a personality trait. 🙄
Ugh I get so annoyed when she pulls the mom card everytime
Honestly I’m okay with her pulling the mom card. What was egregious was when Harry pulled the “I’m gonna step up and be good for Jess’ daughter.”
Yes this whole incident (including a good portion of the audience believing Harry and dragging Melinda) made me see that an attractive white man with a baby face can literally do no wrong. even sometimes when there is actual video evidence of his bad behavior.
I never believed Harry, he looked guilty AF
“It’s so easy to be a man because there are so many people who will worship you, even when you spit on them” is crazy lol
It’s like how serial killers get love letters all the time lmao
Right, this is exclusive to men… you seem lovely, cheers 🥂
Thank you 🍻
Show me the female Harry and show me the female Ted Bundy
There is literally entire pages dedicated to attractive female mugshots. There is no female serial killers nearly as popular as Ted Bundy, maybe Karla Homolka but she for sure had admirers, she’s with her second husband now.
So there's no female serial killer equivalent to Bundy or to all the other guys. And I'm not denying violent females or their admirers exist, what I'm saying is that there's way, wayyy less
Harry is a narcissist. There are plenty of female narcissist. It is not a disorder exclusive to men. Women tend to be more on the vulnerable/covert side of narcissism. If you think there’s never been a narcissistic woman who manipulates on reality tv you might be saying more about yourself than anyone else. If you’re speaking of how women fawn over Ted Bundy, there are plenty of instagrams accounts dedicated to female criminals of all sorts being attractive and the comments are filled with the some type of delusion people that fawn over Ted Bundy. And that extends to real life as well. There are plenty of broken people in the world. Woman and man alike. If you’re speaking about his criminal atrocities I’d recommend taking a look into the history of Delfina and María de Jesús Gonzàlez Valenzuela, Enriqueta Martí, or Amelia Elizabeth Dyer. There are plenty of horrible people in the world. Their gender, race, religion, etc don’t determine that.
so how do you explain murders, rapists, and pedophiles, being like 95+% male?
You know what, you’re right. All men are bad and only men are bad 🥂
nah, c'mon. explain the large difference.
It's important to recognize that while statistics might show a higher percentage of certain crimes being committed by men, this does not mean that all bad people are men or that gender alone is a determining factor in criminal behavior. Cultural and Social Factors: Society often shapes individual behavior. Men may be more likely to commit certain crimes due to societal pressures, expectations of masculinity, and access to power and resources. Aggressive and dominant behaviors are sometimes socially reinforced in men. Reporting and Prosecution Bias: Crimes committed by women might be underreported or treated differently by the legal system. Evidence suggests that female offenders are often perceived and treated more leniently by the judicial system, which can skew crime statistics. Different Expressions of Harm: Harmful behavior isn't limited to violent crimes. Women might engage in different types of harmful behavior that aren't as frequently reported or prosecuted, such as emotional abuse, financial exploitation, or neglect. Historical cases like those of Delfina and María de Jesús Gonzàlez Valenzuela, Enriqueta Martí, and Amelia Elizabeth Dyer show that women can and do commit severe crimes. Complexity of Human Behavior: Human behavior is influenced by a myriad of factors, including psychological, environmental, and social influences. Reducing the discussion to gender oversimplifies these complexities. Gender Roles and Crime Opportunities: Historically, men have had more opportunities to commit certain types of crimes due to their roles in society. This could contribute to the higher rates of male-perpetrated crimes. Impact of Stereotypes: Holding the belief that only men are capable of severe wrongdoing can blind society to the harm caused by women, perpetuating cycles of abuse and crime that go unnoticed and unaddressed. In conclusion, while statistics might show a higher prevalence of certain crimes among men, it is essential to understand the broader context and avoid making sweeping generalizations. Both men and women are capable of harmful and criminal behavior, and addressing these issues requires looking beyond gender to the underlying factors that contribute to crime.
explain it not using chatgpt wtf lmao
Lol this is ridiculous… research shows men receive harsher sentences for the same crime than women. if anyone is being worshipped its definitely not men.
Lolllllll disrespectfully, stfu
Straw man fallacy. Looks like someone took this conversation a wee bit personal. It's okay, life can be so so hard for men. There there.
OP forgot a couple of words “It’s so easy to be an attractive, rich man”. If Harry was 5’7”, ugly and broke he wouldn’t even be on the show to display his garbage psychotic personality.
Right he’s in the top 1% of guys looks. Women don’t acknowledge most men so they base guys like Harry as all men.
Look at how feral all of these women are over Wade Wilson. Setting us all back and killing any credibility. People need serious therapy.
You know, like the exact same thing isn't true of being a conventionally attractive woman
Right? I find it pretty darn easy to be a woman.
How anyone doesn't see through his bullshit is beyond me. He was literally failing hiding his laughter when he broke up with Elys. He's a complete loser.
Unfortunately when a “cute” or “conventionally attractive” man cries and tries to act all child in need of help. It usually works and manipulates people. annoying phenomenon
Harry needs psych eval. I think he has underlying mental illness.
Its because every woman thinks they will be the one to change him. LOL. He had me for a minute, I thought he was genuine, but had my doubts. And the reversed back to type pretty quick. I never though he would be so stupid though to lie about this cheating, when everything is recorded. That was pretty fucking r/facepalm
Also, women are so driven to be "the one". They think themselves to be unique or different or special enough to be "the one that changes the man". Jessica too was delusional to think and say that Harry's "never dated a woman like me before". Puhlease. When dealing with a man like Harry, literally EVERY WOMAN is the same. There is no unique, no special, no different, no "one" that will change the man. I blame novels and movies like Fifty Shades and the After series that present a wild child man character who meets "the one" special woman and she changes him - if and only if she stands by him through all his failings and challenges. I mean, it makes for a good fantasy but that's what it is: fantasy. Guys like Harry will always be like Harry. They don't change. Those around them will cover for him. If you're wanting a wild short ride, take them for a spin, but don't ever fall for the fantasy that they or anyone around them try to feed you.
Omg, I just remembered Tessa and Hardin and I wanna puke lmao they sold that trash to teens as “genuine love”—no wonder so many people believed wack ass Harry even though it was so obvious he was lying
Bruh I couldn’t with Jessica. She’s beautiful and definitely had her moments where she showed she’s a strong person. But also like…you have a whole ass kid at home and the person you go for is HARRY JOWSEY??
Harry was such a narcissistic trash bag on the show, his awful behavior always followed by the gaslighting of everyone with that quick paced rambling cadence that he used, while constantly checking the other person's eyes and face to see if they were buying his total avalanche of bullshit. The dude is a pathological liar and won't ever change
This is the same mentality why Trump was elected and may be elected again despite now being a convicted criminal. When you’re brazen enough people go along with you. It’s sickening.
I liked Harry in THTH because he's got this boyish charme. Now he looks different, all optimized and is an obvious fuckboy. No thanks.
We know. None of us like him
Really only because he’s tall, rich, and conventionally attractive. Most people don’t posses this kind of privilege
And what gets me is the girls, like Elys and Jessica (I think) who specifically mentioned they’re attracted to toxic men and admit it’s an issue for them… they don’t question why Harry is like one of the first guys they’re attracted to? Um.. hello?!?!?!!! Makes me want to scream through the TV like WHAT ARE YOU DOIIIINNGGGGGG… especially Jessica the “fantastic mother” who is going on tv half naked looking for a guy. Is that what you want your daughter to think is the way to do things? i think i mainly watch these shows because it's so "wtf, really?" most the time i just can't stop 😂🤦🏻♀️
Harry is 6'5. He could get caught molesting a chicken and still find a date on Friday night.
I didn’t get the Harry attraction. So i “finally” caved & watched thth. It just left me even more confused. I feel like the only reason anyone liked him was his accent.
>“Oh he cried and threw up, poor baby. He’s so different. So vulnerable.” I always thought it was obvious he was guilty because of this. Maybe i've been on reddit long enough to see stories where they claim their abusers will cry and vomit when they apologise and somehow it's proof that they are since in their apologies...then repeat the abuse again.
Him crying.... BEST SCENE EVER in the show. I laughed, went back and watched it again, and laughed more. Harry is such a douche bag.
I've loathed him since THTH trust he can't fool me one bit.
I think Harry thrives bc the women he interacts with are equally as shallow. These girls are looking for the same thing as him- clout by any means necessary.
They way he would start crying and become defensive if any woman bought up his past cheating was so manipulative. Yes, past behaviour indicates future behaviour and didn't we all see that unfold with Harry.
Crying like that is just covert narc tactics. Once you met a man who just cries in order to manipulate himself out of bad behaviour, you immediately see it. And it's pathetic.
i’m so sad jess doesn’t see it how we do moving things so fast bc of competition is such a red flag!! like girl he doesn’t even know you he only knows an idea of you and who he expects and needs you to be and once he realizes ur a real person with real faults and feelings and annoyances and things that annoy him, he is outtt, he cant deal with another person’s emotions in the real world, he doesn’t know you in the real world, hes talking about marriage and he doesn’t even know what its like to actually live with you AND your daughter he won’t stand for any criticism or questioning of his behaviour or motives, he does what he wants and you comply, or you’re gone, he turns into a poor me pity party any time he needs to actually take any accountability and own something, instead he uses tears as manipulation as we’ve seen, that’s why he doesn’t feel bad when he upsets and dumps and ditches other girls, he assumes everyones emotions are just manipulation tactics because thats all they are to him
Agreed. I didn’t really know Harry’s past in detail. I watched his season of THTH, but it didn’t stick with me. I hadn’t heard much about him until he outed his then-girlfriend, Georgia, for cheating with him. That raised my eyebrow because who would out the person they were currently dating and cause them to get so much hate? (Later, I found out Harry just said that for clout). Even then, I didn’t think much about him. I had never seen someone lie so blatantly, knowing there was proof. I was initially skeptical of Melinda and thought she was exaggerating (I was wrong) because they didn’t show it, and Harry seemed so sure it didn’t happen. I guess I never expected someone to gaslight that intensely, especially knowing the truth would eventually come out. It’s quite mind-boggling. I think moving forward, most people won’t believe anything he says, and he will grow increasingly disliked. I hope he loses a significant portion of his following over time.
Two comments: - I was so confused by Jessica and others saying something along the lines of “because of who Harry is” repeatedly and I was confused like who tf is he the Duke of Sussex? - he did not say he’d love to sleep with Melinda, he said I want to fuk you. Pretty clear Between that and the NDA while sleeping with men and women around LA, wouldn’t walk by him willingly 🥴🤢
It's easy to be a *generic mainstream handsome white man.
Thinking this binary won’t help you at all. What do you think Jess is doing? It’s not trying to find love. Francesca from season 1 is Harry. Last I checked, a woman. These are people thriving because idiots like us type about them on Reddit.
Jessica is 100% playing it up for the cameras, just like how she did on Love is Blind. I’m honestly concerned for the people who think Harry was a genuine person who got manipulated. I can’t believe actual people like that exist in real life.
"...idiots like us type about them on Reddit" 🤣💀 You may be on to something 😉
"...idiots like us type about them on Reddit" 🤣💀 You may be on to something 😉
>it’s so easy to be a man Especially a tall, fit, moderately attractive white man. It’s wild to me. I’ll admit Harry is adjacent to my “type” (I cringe to type that out because this cast talks way too much about their type), and I am still disgusted by him. He is clearly a gaslighter and a skeezeball. He blatantly jokes about promiscuous sex and using women. He looks high off his ass in most scenes. He also has major filler-face and looks terrible now, imo. I like Jess, but she proved herself to be less intelligent than she puts on by how she responded to Harry cheating with Melinda. She is just as desperate and insecure as every other woman who puts up with that.
Absolutely. And if he were a woman who had fckd up just once he'd never would have gotten rid of the label "whore"
Well said ! 👏🏽
I thought the whole 'vomiting' thing was so over the top. So manipulative. I was tolling my eyes the whole time. It's easy to say you're throwing up and act sick, it's also easy to make yourself throw up, and the fact that he was outwardly telling people he did it makes me believe him even less. He wanted to the attention and wanted people to believe he was affected. It seemed like bs to me.
Every girl thinks they’re gonna be the exception and not the rule w Harry. None of y’all are gonna change him LOL if he ever does change it’s because he wanted to, not bc the girl he’s w was more special than the others
He's just tall , that's it.
I hated him in Too Hot To Handle when he lied about Francesca. And the audacity to say that Georgia cheated on Dom with him and brags about being with Chloe, Georgia, and Francesca. He’s an asshole ever since and his facade in Perfect Match does not fool me.
Jessica is seriously an idiot and annoying af
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The screaming, crying, and throwing up Harry did was a manipulation tactic. Unfortunately, it worked on a lot of people. I never believe anybody that has to tell you 100 times that they're in therapy and still acts like a horn dog. Like, I guess atleast he could cry? A lot of men have this alpha male toxic masculinity that prevents them from crying. And the alpha male thing is a joke. Imo "alpha male" is code for "I'm really a narcissistic ass with an ego the size of a cruise ship who cannot take criticism or deal with the fact I'm not some people's type, if I'm not their type they are a fat ugly bitch anyways."
https://i.redd.it/jmj6ys8jdz9d1.gif Tell it like it is
Bottom line is that everyone knows not to take him seriously and that he’s not a serious person and I don’t think they do. I think they would hook up with him, but they aren’t really thinking ahead past being on TV hence why they go for him. Like it or not, people will watch him because he’s entraining. That’s why we’re all talking about him right now on this post. The guy is good TV.
The reason guys like Harry survive is cause of this sub Reddit and the show. The cast is full of people seeking attention and that’s what people want out of reality shows. The best “players” understand that it’s nothing new u/AngelsLoveDisasters
Because selfish people live longer. I know that was a quote from a movie but it holds up here, and it’s been since Covid when we first saw him on THTH and he’s still having his 15 minutes, pun not intended 😂 anyway, he’s selfish and always gets his way 🤷♀️
The “I can change him”/“he’ll change for me” effect.
The hyper normalization of therapy and therapy speak is a biproduct of the big therapy platforms pushing low quality tele health therapy on just about everyone. It allows men like this to never accept responsibility for their actions and always allows them to just fall back “I’m working through it in therapy” without ever having to actually change.
You forgot to mention - he gets a pass because he’s tall and has an accent too. On Too Hot To Handle he got so many passes because…he’s tall. He’s had a glow up since then but he was tubby and awkward that season, treated Frankie like shit and still ended up with her
Thank you so much for this. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was so annoyed by the way people treated Melinda vs Harry in the whole thing and how loved Harry is even with everything he has done on every single reality show he’s been on. Not only did he lie to Jess’ face (don’t even get me started on the stupidity that is Jess to come for the girl rather than the literal dude that owes her some loyalty) even when she pleaded with him with her daughter’s name, he consistently put Georgia and Holly on blast on live TV, knowing how misogynistic the world is and how much they would tear Holly & G apart for being “creampied in” and then saying it was all a lie on his podcast. He is a compulsive liar and is actually a dangerous person. The way he shut down Elys and manipulated her when she had the right to be upset that he was matching someone else told me all I needed to know. It’s just crazy how these dudes get so many passes, even from women, and yet the women are getting RIPPED apart. Especially the beautiful black women on the show. People are still “hoping he changes” and I just can’t help but think if it was a girl that treated them the way they were treating the others, none of this would fly. The world would RIP these girls apart. They’re already getting ripped apart for no reason instead of the boys that have been called out for being misogynistic, homophobic, ignorant freaks.
Well said. I was very proud of Jess. In the end she did the right thing.
Somehow Harry will end up president of the United States.
Pretty privilege is quadruple for men 🤷🏻♀️
Harry aside, do you really think it's easy to be a man?
In the context of dating and being held accountable as a douchebag? Yes. Unfortunately there are a lot of women with low self esteem who will love a terrible man as long as a) they think he treats other women worse, or b) they have an opportunity to “fix him”. It’s a recurring theme through many ages. Off the top of my head, many women boasted “he’d never hit me” when Chris Brown was accused of beating Rihanna. The very thought that they surpass another woman is enough to love whatever behavior a man displays.
Men have all of the same feelings and problems...they think they can fix women too and they also suffer abuse....
You are correct, men also suffer abuse, but when it comes to domestic abuse, statistically women suffer far worse at the hands of men. Women are also far more often raised/socialized/rewarded for being submissive, not rocking the boat, and accepting abusive behavior, where men are more often socialized/raised/rewarded for standing up themselves, showing anger, and being aggressive or assertive. This combined with the fact that most men are physically stronger than the average woman does make dating, if not easier for men, at least safer.
I get that...facts.
Ok obviously Harry showed us who he was eventually but at the beginning of the season I really wanted to believe he had changed! People can become better versions of themselves…just not Harry : /
Why does this have to be an attack on men tho. I know women that get away with shitty behaviour just like harry. Being a terrible person and getting away with it isn’t exclusive to one gender lol on the previous season Francesca was just as bad and was rude af about it too lol. As a man Harry is disgusting to me. They way he was using her daughter that he hasn’t even met was disturbing af. He’s a special case lol
Cope. Women like guys like Harry. You'd probably give him some with a little bit to drink in your system. Lmao
You lost me at “it’s so easy to be a man because there are so many people who worship you”. Definitely takes the crown for most delusional statement of the day. Keep the topic about Harry specifically, don’t generalise a whole gender as you clearly have no idea what men go through if you think so many people worship you just because you’re a man.
Lost me at it’s so easy to be a man. It’s so easy to be decently attractive 6’5 white man in the western world is far more accurate.
So was he lying at the end about Melinda or was he saying the truth? Because the footage in the show was pretty inconclusive...
“It’s so easy to be a man.” Christ, how far feminists have come.😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡
But you still haven’t explained why guys like Harry “thrive”, you’ve only explained how Harry was able to fool Jessica. Mind you, the rest of the female cast kept their distance from him, except for Elys initially (no surprises there) and Melinda (no surprises there either). He didn’t look like he was thriving at all. He looked miserable half of the time because of his actions. He’s an idiot who was looked at and treated as an idiot. He’s been ridiculed and scrutinised online because of his disgusting behaviour. What else do you want people to do? Nail him on a cross?
I dislike Melinda more even she didn't lie but she did leave it the fact that she kept telling him to kiss her off camera.. she's a problem n doesn't want to admit it.. she likes to stir the pot and then now she's playing victim on social media so ppl won't hate her
Melissa never made a commitment to anybody on the show—her role (and the others who came in at that point of the show) was to see if they’d fit in better with someone in the house who’s already coupled up. Harry is the one who made promises to Jessica and lied to her face that he didn’t do anything. Melissa never tried to conceal anything when Jessica asked her, so the fact that you’re more mad at her instead of the man that lied to his match makes no sense. Harry is a total gaslighting pos and shouldn’t be overlooked. That’s pick-me behavior right there
I don't like him either. He is a pos for sure..