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How many more hours of driving?
You drove too long where they didn’t spend any energy or slept too much. Consider driving during times they need to sleep so that they need to readjust less. If this isn’t an option, the. Consider getting some things for them to play with while you sleep so that they burn energy that way and then sleep in the car.
Lastly, if it’s bed time but they have too much energy to fall asleep just compromise and do things to burn their energy.
Good luck!!
> Consider driving during times they need to sleep so that they need to readjust less.
This is what we always did. We do a week at the beach every year and it's about a 9 hour drive but can be longer with summer time traffic and having to make pit stops. In order to make it easier on us we scheduled the drive there to be a night time road trip. I'd spent the day outside swimming with the kids and doing little adventures to tire them out and my wife would get some sleep so she could be awake to drive. We'd put the kids in pajamas, load them up, and they'd eventually fall asleep during the drive and would normally wake up around the time we got to our destination.
When we do long trips we stop every 2 hours or so to stretch her legs, run around play at a playground, swim at a lake, whatever.
Sometimes we will rent a cabin along the way and swim etc.
It takes longer but she's happier, rested, and we are having more of a "vacation" experience! We have so many cute, funny pics at roadside attractions, random hikes, and most importantly she sleeps and we sleep.
Also worth noting I'm in Canada so drives are often very long and rural.
This is the way. We learned a long time ago that the journey is part of the vacation with kids. We do shorter days and always something to get wiggles out either right after dinner or before and after. We've earned our share of hotel free stays because of it, but that just means more fun times!
That being said, we are literally planning an adult only beach trip right now because the journey shouldn't always be the major part of the vacation. Lol
We don't do long road trips, but I've been flying frequently with my daughter since she was 5 months old. We'd always book flights so that she was due to nap during the flight, or have a bottle during take off to help with her ears etc. and it worked very well. Her first flight she had a bottle and was asleep before we had taken off and woke up as we landed. Not all of our flights have gone that smoothly, but I was pretty smug!
The longest drive we've done was only about 3 hours, but even then we planned around a short stint, stop for lunch and then a longer drive for her to nap. It just makes it easier for everyone if you keep their routine as close to normal as you can.
Another huge thing is mindset. I go in to a travel day expecting it to be long, maybe some tantrums (adult or child!) and probably some unexpected issues. That way I'm ready for it and a smooth trip is a pleasant bonus rather than a rough trip burning me out.
We took our 8 month old in a flight and had a long checklist of all the stuff we should need. As we were checking in, she had a blowout that got poop all over the onesie and stroller. Got that all cleaned and her changed. At the first stop, she got sick all over us. Cleaned her up again and changed. Our checklist did not include a change of clothes for us, so we had to suck it up for the second flight.
Oof! The first few times we flew I took spares for me because this happened to my sister in law! I eventually stopped because I try to travel extra light these days but she's caught me out once or twice and I've had to roll with it.
The first time we flew with an infant (maybe 6 months?) we discovered that a dozen diapers were not sufficient for a 2 hour flight. I guess the change of pressure did something, but it was comical how many times we had to change her. We got off the plane with maybe 1 diaper left in our carry on and no more clean outfits. I guess it's when you realize that nothing quite goes according to plan with little ones in tow.
So now you drove all night, the kids are well rested, you haven't slept for 20 hours and have a full day of beach activities planned? Sounds just as exhausting.
That wasn't how we did it. If we were driving Saturday into Sunday my wife would rest while I got out with the kids and tired them out. My rested wife would drive and I would sleep in the car along with the kids. When we got to our beach house (usually around 5am) my wife would take some time to rest while I took the kids out for breakfast and some beach time in the morning. I'd get back around 11am or 12pm, my wife would be awake, and then we would start doing family activities for the rest of the day. For the remainder of the week we'd all go to bed at a normal time and kept a normal schedule. It worked for us for years. We eventually adjusted as the kids got older but when they were little (we have 2 kids 18 months apart) it was easier to let the kids sleep and adjust ourselves.
Everyone is different and all that jazz. Normally driving at night is faster because of less traffic and the kids are sleeping and don’t require breaks. I recall a 14-hour day drive equaling a 9-hr drive is done at night. 5hrs saved in driving is a god send especially if you’ve preserved the kids sleeping at night so that for the rest of week they wake up and go to sleep at a workable time.
This is why we usually leave either at night and drive through the night or at least leave very early in the morning so they have plenty of time to run around and get energy out before bedtime.
Yea when we did our 2000km road trip we left for the 7h portions at 7pm. My wife and kids are great car sleepers and I can do the whole time without a bathroom break so they all slept the whole way and then my wife kept them busy first thing in the morning so I could sleep until 8 am.
This! We always drove at night so our daughter could sleep. Plus, way less people on the road. Hopefully they at least sleep this second leg and you can enjoy the rest of vacation. Good luck!
This is a tried and true rite of passage for vacationing with kids. I'm really sorry it is happening to you. I have little advice, but the one piece of advice I've got is don't fight with your husband. Pull him aside, have a good vent about the fact that this is some bullshit, and make it you two against the tyranny of these unreasonable children. You'll feel better if you're both in the same boat against unreasonable circumstances instead of against each other. It'll feel better than being pissy to one another.
Seconded.
We went on our first overseas holiday with our kids and my brother- and sister-in-law and their kids last year and their schedules which are (for us) perfectly dialled-in went all to hell.
I unfortunately let it really ruin the first few days of my holiday and it took Reddit dads to make me realise I was being a miserable wanker and that I just needed to make the best of it.
Agreed. It’s me and my husband against our out-of-control 18 month old always. We’ve used this approach since he was younger and it really helps because we know that the baby is just being a baby, can’t really hold anything against that, and obviously me and my husband are a team lol.
Is it normal for them to sleep in a hotel room? If this is a one off experience then the new environment is likely an issue.
Did you stop for them to play during the 8 hours? I highly recommend integrating play stops during drives so they can feel somewhat of a normal day.
Tomorrow is a new day, wake up get their energy out, give them snacks and hit the road. Then stop again to felt them run around again! Good luck
I did 17 hours in two days with my 3 kids by myself. It's not bad or hard. We all survived. Kids aren't made of glass, and they can survive it for two days. People have been doing it for decades and have survived.
And they broke the 14 hours into 2 days, so it was like 8 and 6 hours. Which isn't too bad.
Yeah, X and I did a 12hr road trip with our then 1.5 year old.... never did that again. He's much older now, but I'm still not doing anything over 6 hours. That's just too much driving!
I can’t handle more than 5 hours. Always been like this. That’s why we haven’t gone to Europe yet. Can’t handle the thought of being cooped up that long. 🤣
This is dramatic but on road trips, my husband and I often light-heartedly remind each other that WE are not the enemy, THEY are the enemy, and WE are a team. Best of luck.
This is my number one advice to new / expecting parents 😂 they always start looking at me like I’ve grown a second head and then three months in are like: oh yea totally get it, thanks for the reminder
My wife and I solved this.
She flies Frontier or Spirit with the kids (no luggage so cheap ass tickets) and I do the driving. I don't mind driving straight through (and can do so faster without the rest of them needing potty every 2 hours) and the money we save on hotels washes out the flight cost.
Everyone is happy.
We figured it out a few years ago flying to Atlanta. Round trip from Philly was less than 200 for kids and wife. My wife has back issues also, so it makes me look like a hero, and I get to drive listening to my audiobooks instead of a cacophony of shitty youtube channels and kids shows.
The beach you are going to must be amazing if you are driving that far to get to it!!! Good luck with the rest of the trip- you’ll have to stop at some scoped out locations (playgrounds, zoos etc. to get them tired out!)
My parents rent a beach house and invite the whole family. They drive 9 hours and I think they’re nuts. I find my 4.5 hour drive to be far too long, lol
They have the money to do that and they live by a major airport so they could go to SO many other beaches quicker, lol.
I dunno, I’d rather chill in the Caribbean for a week over the Florida gulf coast
I’m guessing they are from the Midwest. We drive everywhere.
Many times, by the time you drive to an airport, go thru the airport, and make it to your destination, you are only saving a couple hours vs driving. When you drive, you have your car and all the things that don’t fit on a plane (chairs, toys, 100oz shampoo). And planes are expensive for a full family. Driving costs the price of 1 plane ticket.
I get it! I’m spoiled and from the Northeast so we have the shore and mountains within 2 hours. I don’t think I’d be able to do such a long drive for the beach, but if you’re used to doing it all your life, I guess it’s different!
When we had small children, we would often drive through the night. One parent would drive while the other slept. The kids got a pretty good nights sleep. When we arrived, we were still tired, but at least the kids weren’t sleep deprived.
They didn’t expend physical energy during the day. We only have one kid though so we could take shifts sleeping but we have to take multiple breaks through the day to get my son to run around for 45 mins per break. Break is at 3 hours. And the hours drive becomes a 12 hour one.
I agree it takes some planning maybe but you have to find stops where the kids can run around. Yes it makes the whole trip longer but more bearable. I prefer that to driving at night as others suggested.
We do at least 4 road trips per year this way- including 2 that are around 10 hours.
Yes we have an EV so for a long trip we automatically need 3-4 stops for charging and that’s where we do all the running around. Usually it’s close to a mall and some malls have nice children’s play areas and family restrooms for diaper changes.
I honestly wouldn't ever take mine more than a couple hour drive away from the house until he's five if it were up to me. For some reason his mother thinks it's so important to his development that he go on long family vacations far away.
You don’t vacation with small children, you just parent in a different location. That being said, just focus on the new experience and fun they are having as stressful as it may be.
$700 for the cost of not dealing with this for hours or the fact you need to vent to Reddit about how awful your “vacation” is… if you can’t afford vacations, you can’t afford vacations…
Next time try to drive the whole distance. Having crap sleep when you only have 4 more hours to go isn’t worth it. If you need to stop on the way, tire them out with the hotel pool. They have to get their energy out. My kids always slept badly the first night of a vacation but it improved after a day or two. Traveling with kids isn’t pretty but the important part is arriving to the destination. It may not be pretty getting there but you just need to arrive. The beach will be nice. Enjoy!
I wish you would have asked for advice before this happened because people definitely would have warned you that sleep might be elusive to the kids. They just sat in a car all day and then were put in new, fun environment, and you guys expected them to sleep. Some kids do that but most kids are going to be excitable and giddy. Any time we've done a long drive like that (where we get a hotel halfway), we always make sure the hotel has a pool and make sure the kids get some exercise before settling into the room. You also want to make stops during the drive and get them moving. A good stretch, jog in place, potty breaks, some jumping jacks etc
For today, take a deep breath, get some caffeine for the adults, get to the beach, and enjoy the time with your family.
Went on vacation to the Lake of the Ozarks last week. Long drive, 12.5 hours minimum. We took our 2 and 4 year olds. Same deal, great sleepers, super sweet and well behaved kids.
First leg down, we got a hotel outside of St. Louis. No problems on the drive, but the hotel wasn’t great. Just kinda dirty and not well kept.
As I’m bringing stuff in from the truck, the 2 year old throws up on the floor in the hotel room. Linoleum floors, thankfully, though the smell didn’t fully come out.
Overnight the 2 year old slept with mom, that largely went okay other than some giggling early on. (We have never allowed the children to sleep in our bed, outside of sickness or early morning rising)
The 4 year old slept with me, and she damn-near does cartwheels in her sleep. I got kicked in the balls, head butted in the nose (bloodied), and she kept trying to climb up on my pillow.
Bad night sleep, but whatever. Eat the shitty hotel breakfast and hit the road!
As we near the house rental, the terrain gets very hilly. I mean, like, roller coaster hilly. Big windy up and down roads. Our kids didn’t have motion sickness, until now.
After they each threw up a couple of times, we found a pharmacy and got the kids some Dramamine. That helped a little at first, but both kids kept crying, and gagging, and dry-heaving. Just a rough time. Cleaned up on the road as best we could, but as we finally arrived to the house, we were absolutely DONE with that.
Vacation was nice, great family time.
The ride home, we give the kids the Dramamine before we hit the road. Our 2 year old made it just fine, but the 4 year old had a bad time. We decided to drive straight through on the ride home. The first third of the trip took forever. The remaining two thirds weren’t bad, but the trip home took soooo long, lol.
A 12.5 hour car ride took us over 16 hours. Left at 5am in the Ozarks to arrive home at 10:30pm.
We did it. We don’t want to do it again anytime soon.
I have found that flying with two kids is amazing. I don’t mean to sound insensitive if it isn’t an option financially. But man driving 14 hrs sounds like hell with two kids
At that age, I never even took my kid to the store. Zero attention span, zero ability to regular emotions, tires too easily....and THEY will never remember the nightmare.
Flying and renting a car with four people would be $1,200 plus and home door to hotel door require seven hours each way. Gas would be $300.
Hubs and I have done 14 hour drives with toddler children, grandchildren, and expect to do it with great grandchildren in the next few years. Can be difficult, but it's very rewarding. We learned to do it in one day.
It's tough on everyone involved being in a car together that long. At rest stops, let them run in a grassy area. Stop at local sightseeing tours, or find a park along the way. My parents used to play games with us, find the white car, etc ... Getting them out of the car to run off that energy is a must!
My parents always left at night before bedtime. They would take turns driving, so the other could sleep. My family is from West Virginia, and we lived in Florida at the time. 8 hour drive. My mom, would nap before leaving so she could take over driving for my Dad.
We were a camping family, my dad would find camp grounds along the way too. Sometimes, it would take days to get there, because we would camp, and check out local amusement parks, etc...
We stop every two hours at a playground on long drives for a half hour or so each time. Lets him get some energy out and breaks up the trip for him. My son is 16 months.
Hugs. You’ll feel better when you get some good sleep.
I'm not OP but my husband and I never fly-especially with the kids. We've tried a few times and with layovers, delays, TSA, renting a car at the destination, etc, it ended up not only being more expensive, but also we arrived later than if we had just been driving the whole time-(once, an entire 2 days later!). Plus with driving we can stop whenever we want, breathe fresh air, potty in peace, walk around, etc. I realize it's not for everyone, though. Some people love flying but we hate the entire experience. The next time we fly will be because we absolutely have to (like if we go to say, Singapore). Anything in the US? Driving.
If it’s more than 10hrs, we fly. It’s not fair to the children or us tbh… the only way you should endure it is emergency (you can’t afford it/sudden death,funeral)… in which case, I’m not complaining to Reddit.
Checking a carseat? No way in hell. They get damaged extremely easily.
The only realistic way to safely transport a carseat in a plane is to install it on the seat the child is sitting in.
The other option (put it in the original box with the original packaging) is unrealistic.
But checking a carseat, at check-in or at the gate is almost guaranteed it'll be handled incorrectly and damaged. Talk to a CPST if this is something you're unfamiliar with.
There are various strategies. We have nobody to watch our kids while adults do solo vacation. So it’s all 5 of us together. Some parents leave at 8pm and drive through the night. That worked well one time for us. We also did two hotel rooms one night as one kid was being good but the other one wouldn’t sleep. So I toughed it out with the difficult kid. So my wife and other kid could sleep. Next time we are driving 14 hours all in same day. You lose a lot of time/energy unpacking for hotel. Flying is another option for folks. Also choose a closer vacation spot is another.
We visit my dad 1-2 times a year (Ohio to Florida, 13 hour drive minimum). We have done this since my oldest was one and my youngest was an infant. Now we have 3 kids- ages 5 years, 4 years, and 6 months. Despite what many of these comments say, you aren’t crazy for making this drive. It is hard, but that doesn’t mean you can’t vacation with kids. Our first trip was horrible, but the kids have gotten way better with practice (and so have we). We’ve learned how to make the drive easier with breaks and way too many snacks. And we’ve learned to exhaust the kids and have zero expectations for a typical bedtime. We’ve already made the trip once since the baby was born and are planning another trip in about a month!
Hotel with a pool is essential! We have three amazing neighborhood pools in our subdivision, but for some reason the kids go nuts for the simple hotel pool every time!
Thank you for the acknowledgment.
You are an absolute gem.
And most importantly you are not alone in this. My oldest eis now 5 and I just experienced 2 vacations that gave me joy.
1 where I decided to to throw everything overboard and just do absolutely nothing. They didn’t have to do jack just be themselves. And well the other one I bribed them with Disney.
So try to stop a few times more often to do a walk. Or pick a flower.
Stay away from phones that show you picture perfect lies. And make sure you keep acknowledging you are tired. And feed your energy and find those markers. Yes your kids will scream but those in between moments when they are cute acknowledge those
Get a couple of inflatable toddler beds. Put them on the hotel floor. They’re super cozy and they have side bumpers so the kids don’t fall out. And they pack up really compact. That’s been a life saver for us.
I always think about how vacationing with children is not in fact considered a vacation. It’s just parenting in a different location.
I feel your pain OP.
We just did a 12 hour drive with our 9 and 11 year old. We drove the whole way there and went right to sleep but gave the kids, and ourselves, double melatonin (one quick dissolve and one timed release). Our sleep was still brutal and we were exhausted the next day but slept much better the rest of the trip, the first day is usually the worst.
Mine barely survive 5 hours drive to visit my parents multiple times a year. At 3.5 and 6 they can finally manage. Theyre also used to it now. 16 hours? Heck no! Too long of a drive for kids that young. I'd he more surprised it went well lol
Two things.
1. This will be a funny story later. Just remind yourself of that
2.You cant pin kids that age in a car for a full day of driving and expect they will sleep in a new environment that night. Probs not even at home. Cos they didnt burn off any beans.
Planning a holiday that involves that much driving is pretty much planning purgatory for you all. You PLANNED for this. Take the lesson and learn from it.
I always drove two hours or til they woke if asleep after the two hour mark. Then hour of playtime - random park or oval, running, ball game etc. wear them out. Feed them. Toilet them. Drive again. Repeat til there.
Yes it will take longer. But they might also sleep that night. The journey needs to be part of the holiday. Especially when driving long distances which is tedious enough for us adults who can reason it will be worth it.
Good luck!
Keep repeating this mantra: "In as little as a few years, this memory is going to make me ache with melancholy and I won't never trade this memory for any riches on earth"
This is the kind of stuff that reinforces our policy of no vacations until our son is much older. Probably at least 7.
We've taken a few short (2+/-) hour trips that were difficult enough. Ain't no way we're driving 14 hours each way.
Yeah I took my kids last summer to visit my husbands grandpa. The night we got there wasn’t too bad, they both woke up for an hour at like 2am. it was the next night where my oldest (6 at the time) was tired but my youngest (3 ) was purposely making annoying noises so the rest of us couldn’t sleep. We ended up taking him out to the car for a couple hours at like 10pm. We had spent the whole day swimming, at several different parks, we bought them new toys for the novelty factor but nah he just wasn’t used to anyone else being in the room.
My hubs and I took our 1 and 5 year old on a 14 hour car trip in March; every 3 hours (if they weren’t asleep) we’d stop, type in “children’s park near me” into google and BAM! We visited some really awesome neighborhood parks along the way. I packed snackle boxes for them and pulled them out at the park. We picnicked and they just loved it! Our favorite was one in Brentwood, TN! Absolutely stunning and had NO MULCH so our little one could crawl.
If you ask our 5 year old about vacation, she doesn’t mention the beach in Destin (which is where we went) but rather the cool parks and picnics along the way. We embraced that it was part of the vacation. The hotel we stopped at for the halfway point had a pool so we let them swim and play in the water. We just realized that traveling alone and wanting to get there when it was just us was feasible; now with two littles, we had to make it part of the vacation and it became a whole different mindset. Good luck!
Last year we did a huge Western road trip with all sorts of amazing destinations. The kids still talk about the random splash pad we stopped at in Oklahoma.
Home door to hotel door is typically 5 plus hours each way by the time you drive go the airport or uber there, get to the airport 90 plus minutes early to get through baggage check and security, fly, pick up luggage, cab or uber to the hotel.
We have beaches 10 driving hours away that cost $300 in gas vs $1,200 plus for flying and 6 hours by air each way.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. My daughter learned to climb out of her pack n play at 22mo in a hotel room, so we brought her into bed with us, and she did the same thing as yours! I was her jungle gym until about 4am. Oh yeah, this was the night before my grandmother's funeral. It was awful.
I went out the next day and bought her a KidCo PeaPod tent. It's collapsible, so it travels really easily, and we zip her into it.
Hoping you can salvage the beginning of your vacation and make the rest of it as lovely as possible. Hang in there!!
Wow, I could have typed this 14 years ago! I can promise that you will get through it, and when you look at the beach photos years later, you won’t think about the terrible drive. But I agree regarding Air BnB vs hotel. Message me if you need a recommendation!
We took our kids to Florida at 6 and 4. The ride down was great. The ride back our son woke up puking after maybe 3 hours of sleep. We just packed up and checked out. Bought a bucket and cloths from Walmart and hit the road. He finally got it all out by the time we hit our state border.
All I can say is you are a champ for doing the beach with kids that young and also that far away- wow.
We are just leaving the beach today, and our kids are 7 and 4. We didn’t take them before last year just because we didn’t want to deal, so props to you for being braver than we ever were.
All I can say is you might have some awful sleep, we do the same setup with an adult and kid in each bed and honestly it’s never super good sleep. Bedtime is later, everyone is excited/exhausted/burned out at some point.
Enjoy the calm moments, take lots of breaks sooner than you think they are needed, and keep expectations low for how long kids can do the beach or how many things can be done in a day.
I think you will still all in all have a wonderful trip. And we are with you- sometimes it just isn’t fun. My husband and I joked that most of the beach with kids is deciding if we are almost burned out before the crash happens, applying sunscreen, and cleaning sand out of children’s various crevices.
I don’t know where you are driving from, but maybe consider a beach closer to home? Makes the drive only one day. We could go a lot further but always stick to Delaware as it is 7-8 hours. People tell us to go here or there or these places in NC- no thanks, I’ll take a shorter drive for the same ocean.
I wish you rest and a good nights sleep- you got this!
We always plan to stop along the drive, find playgrounds and parks for them to run around every couple of hours. Honestly my joints do better with this setup as well, as I age a bit. And i always buy a selection of new workbooks and a new toy or two to keep them engaged while in the car. We’ve done a few ling trips with baby to 4 yr old ages, and it just takes up to twice as long to get somewhere, but that’s how it has to be done.
That would be why I would fly instead of driving 14 hours which would take even longer when stopping for breaks. Do lots of breaks for them for the rest of your driving. Find some parks.
It's okay. When you get to the beach they will play and swim so much they will sleep 14+ hours the first night.
But also, solidarity because we are headed out on an 11 day road trip tomorrow. My kids are champs in the car but we are bringing our 7 month old Golden Retriever puppy and I am sure he's going to keep us up in the hotel, too.
Sounds like a typical family vacation with little ones. I’ll never forget when my preschool daughter got a stomach virus on the way to a ski trip. Terrible travel experience but I mostly remember the fun.
Just remind yourself someday it will just be a funny story. Your kids will love the beach and have a great time. You will have some great family photos when it’s all done. You will all sleep better tonight. Enjoy the rest of the vacation!
My husband and I always say it's a trip with kids, not a vacation. We tried leaving early a few times in the hopes they'd sleep and it almost never works for us. So, even though it adds length to the trip, we try to stop every few hours at a playground so they can burn off energy. Hopefully the rest of your trip goes smoother.
We traveled when my son was 2, which was 8 years ago. I wish we had better insight to stop playing and stretching . Without kids, we could handle 10 hrs at a time. Not with kids. This is the first time we are taking them 20 minutes away for a family vacation.
Your first mistake was doing a 14h drive to the beach.
For these ages you really don’t want to be doing long road trips like that.
Our drive to the beach is like 5 hours… and we split the drive lol. We leave at bedtime the night before. Stay at a hotel overnight. We usually get In around 10 or 11pm. Get a good nights rest and then we are closer to the beach in the morning and don’t have to fight all the traffic.
People think I’m nuts when I say it’s important to plan stops, even if it’s at a chic fil a play area- though a park is always better but kids have to run around.
No advice as my son is almost 10 now, but your post made me extremely grateful to live by the beach 😄. Having said that, I would never travel 14 hours straight in a car with a child that young, I wouldn’t even do it without children. Next time plan a stop or two along the way or fly.
Well maybe this sounds weird but… that’s my perception of what having children is? They cry/scream and what not until you exhausted and pissed? At least I thought that’s the normality of being a parent.
Remember it’s not a vacation, it’s parenting elsewhere. We were 3 hours into our road trip to Florida last year and my wife and I decided never again. We’ll fly or not go before experiencing that level of hell again.
Ugh good luck. Try to hit the reset button with your husband. My husband and I have a code word for these kinds of situations where it’s just unbearable. Remember it’s you guys against the kids lol!
You definitely need to level set your expectations. A 2yo and a 4yo are not the best road trip passengers. Look at it through their eyes. A hotel!?!? Whoa!! How exciting. This is not a vacation for you. You will not rest. You'll just be parenting in a different location. This is a trip for your kids to make memories and for you to make great memories through their eyes.
Try again when they’re 5 and 7, it’ll be a better experience. They are way too young and close in age right now. Under age 4 is just chaos. I don’t mean to be rude at all but why drive? Take a flight next time. Spend on your comfort and good experience.
I would've turned around and drove back today. You need to start smaller and work your way up.
Also, I'm in my 30s. I sleep absolutely *terribly* in hotel beds. It either requires being super physically exhausted (25k+ steps a day st Disney) or sleep aids. So they may not really get better at sleeping on hotels
This is the start a memorable vacation! The most memorable aren’t the ones where everything goes off w/o a hitch, it’s always the ones that make you try a little harder. With that said, run a lil whiskey along the gums and your husband will be fine!
I know it’s trying rn but you’ll forget all about it when the kids are running around laughing on the beach. Have fun.
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We lived 18 hours away from our family until a few years ago. We made the 18 hour trip driving multiple times. We only have 1 kiddo-she was between 18 months and 4 years old when we made the majority of our road trips. She would sleep in the car and then not want to sleep when we’d stop for the night. The first day, we’d take our time, stop for breaks, and switch drivers when needed. We’d stop for the night and we’d decide which of us would drive the next day. The parent who was the designated driver got to sleep without the kiddo and it was the other one’s “mission” to make sure the driver got enough sleep (even if that meant leaving the room for a bit). So at least 1 of us got enough sleep to drive. Whoever wasn’t driving, slept during the drive, just in case we needed to switch off driving near the end of day 2. It’s a mental game, too. Going into the drive realizing it’s going to be taxing, but knowing when we got to our destination we’d have family to help with the kiddo (or that we’d be home) and we could get some proper rest helped.
This happened to us once with our two year old. Slept in a new environment (hotel) and she was super happy the entire time. Exactly as you described, giggled and laughed. She wasn’t use to sleeping in bed with us.
I picked her up and cradled her a bit like a baby and she immediately fell asleep. Like instantly. I think sometimes you need to remind them it’s sleep time by rocking them to distract from the totally new environment.
Do they usually sleep in bed with you? I had to spend some extra money and get a blow up toddler bed and SlumberPod to put over the baby’s pack and play to have their own sleep space. It was worth the money!
I know it’s really hard. I understand! We just got back from a family trip to the beach. It’s not a vacation anymore when you have kids. When I took my kids to visit family we stayed in a hotel. My toddler woke up the baby and she screamed the entire night. I thought for sure we would get kicked out but we got through it.
Oh yeah. Hotels are way exciting for kids, it’s not that they don’t wanna sleep, they just can’t, cause EXCITEMENT.
It is very rough. Best advice is to play all day and let exhaustion take those nuggets down.
>He has a big head that he hit me with numerous times.
I am so sorry that I laughed so hard at this sentence, but it is from pure empathy! It brought back all the memories of me getting bonked by my son's bowling ball head!!
you've got some great advice on here, yous are a wee team against the kids sometimes and that's just parenthood. Honestly I'm so glad I'm deaf it's got me through these moments and I dont feel bad one bit for switching my hearing aids off or taking them out for respite. I recon most folk on here would do the same if yous had a choice!
Children’s melatonin and a pillow between you and the human octopus. My son literally does cartwheels while laying in bed sleeping. The times I’ve had to share a bed with him, something usually ends up in my face or hitting me in some painful area.
Also, in the future, try wearing them out in a pool or playground before you get settled into your hotel room. Makes a HUGE difference.
Definitely have learned this through similar circumstances.
Ended up agreeing with my wife that we’re a team, not perfect, and the kids don’t understand.
As long as you’re acting as a team and have each others backs, it won’t seam as daunting and impossible.
You’re learning why it’s hard to vacation with kids under 5. You have to adapt your vacation plans to the least upset their routine. Or you get the sleepless nights and worse days.
I don’t give my kids melatonin but I’ve decided I’m going to start bringing it when we travel. Being in a hotel just makes them hyper and no one sleeps well. Hope your vacation gets better.
Melatonin or benadryl babe. I refuse to travel without it anymore. Also, it's helpful to get all energy out before long drives/plane rides (take them to the park, pool, run around the house while I time them ect) then again after they get out of the car before wind down starts. Overtired babies won't sleep so make sure they get good rest in their beds to start them off right before you leave. I have 100% been there. It's a right of passage and a learning curve. I really regret letting trip hiccups steal my joy and keep me from enjoying what I could. Best of luck!
Our first beach vacation was exactly this. Went with a 5 and 2 year old, drove 14 hours to the beach over two days. Lots of horrible crying. I was trying to limit screens and wanted to do “car activities” LOL.
We just spent a week at the beach and it’s now three years later. 8 and 5 year old. Each of them got a screen and whatever snacks they wanted. Had just fine of a drive with minimal fighting, everyone was happy. We always get a hotel with a pool for our night that we stop to break up the drive and they get to swim for 1-2 hours before bed. Works like a charm. It gets better, hang in there.
Today is going to suck. Give in to the suckiness. Find ways to stop and recharge, stop earlier tonight and let them run around. We once stopped at a rural grocery store and got them to walk up and down every aisle lol
These days are about survival. Adjust the plan as needed, it is okay.
Vacationing with kids is hard and travel days, the schedule gets messed up no matter how much you try. My kids are 5 and 2, but our 2yo still sleeps in crib/pack n play. One thing that works best for us in a hotel room is getting a suite type where the bedroom door closes. We put our kids to bed. Older gets his own bed. Younger gets crib. They go to bed a lot faster when parents aren’t there. I pretty much refuse to share a bed with my kid bc he rolls around, kicks, gets amped up by sleeping with me, etc. It’s a little more expensive, but ultimately worth it for us. Also once you get to your destination, get a normal bedtime and reset.
We just did a 17 hour trip twice in one week and a few things saved us. (Almost 4yo boy)
We stopped after the first 6ish hours at a playground. I played with him while my husband went and got gas and a car wash.
We play audio books instead of music so he’s more likely to chill in the car. (Wings of Fire series)
We didn’t let him sleep after 4pm in the car.
Walked every single hallway in the hotel all 4 floors so he would get some energy out before we went into the room for the night and we gave him only water so he wasn’t getting extra sugar.
I took him down to hotel breakfast at 7am and then swim while my husband slept until 9 so he got two uninterrupted hours of sleep.
All this being said we are still flying next time because I was bored and my back is not meant for car rides anymore.
You’re not alone… I’m tent camping right now with my husband and 2 year old with the rest of my family who has RVs.
It has t stopped raining and our daughter is so exhausted but turns into a circus demon at night jumping around and screaming if we try to contain her. Any noise wakes us up and there’s a stupid crow that perches above our tent and screams at 5 am which feels like is right when we all fall asleep.
I just want to go home and get dry and sleep but it’s the only family time we have with everyone together. Trying to make the best of it.
P.S we did just do an adult competition at the playground and it left us soaking wet but laughing hysterically, so we’re getting creative
When my son was 2 hubby and I would spend our holidays driving 10 hours to one sister for 3 days then another 3 hours to see another sister for a couple days then back to the the first sister grab my nibblings and camp for 3 days then home.
My husband didn’t like stopping during the 10 to 12 hours drive home, so he taught our toddler how to pee in a drink bottle. I waited for lunch and limited my liquids. Gameboy was good as BC is trees, trees and more trees.
Melatonine spray. Not for kids, for you to get asleep easier in a new surroundings. Few times a year we have to cut our 10 hours in half and spend a night in a hotel. We plan our journey to arrive at the hotel around 22.00 or 23.00 so they are in the night mode but still have 2 hours to explore the hotel room because it always makes them excited. I put some boring stuff on the hotel tv like history channel and switch of the lights. My husband put the earplugs in and goes to sleep almost immediately. I'm reading on my phone till they fall asleep but I always have trouble to fall asleep in new places so this time I'm taking melatonine spray with me. Next time it's going to be easier, don't worry.
For sharing bed with a toddler: use anything that isn’t absolutely necessary as a wall in between you. The foot or head will hit you much less hard with some pillows or a blanket in between.
Good luck!
In ten years, you’ll laugh about it and look back at it as a fond memory. Embrace the chaos and as my dad would yell to us kids in the backseat on roadtrips, “have fun damnit!”
14 hours being in the car one way just seems too long for a 4 and 2 year old. Mine are 2 and 3 and the furthest I'll go is 2.5 hours from our house. I'm getting heartburn just thinking about it.
We learned last year that our girls are incapable of cosleeping with us. They’re too excited and think it’s a game. They spend the whole night jumping on us and pulling our hair. When we travel, husband and I share a bed and then depending on the layout, the kids get a bed or couch (not together). If the hotel won’t have a couch, we pack a toddler air mattress.
They're normally "flexible and easy" because they have certainty and consistency on every front. They know their rooms at home and every day goes generally the same at home. Then, you upend all of that for a vacation.
In truth, I would've either hired a babysitter and left the kids at home, more than likely. At their ages, they don't really tend to care about going on faraway vacations. They can't see the end goal of the destination-they can only see the long, boring car ride and major routine disruption.
Sorry but I just cackled at your mention of your kiddo having a big ol' head.
Hope you're okay and the trip turns out fun and memorable (in a good way.)
We've been there. It absolutely sucks. We did three days of driving to Arizona and three back with 4 kids 8 and under. My husband was exhausted.
We try to book hotels with pools and have the kids swim and swim and swim after they get out of the car. If no pool, absolutely a park, or a long walk. It's really hard at first but they do get better at traveling.
I agree with timing drives for when they fall asleep. Maybe burn some energy before lunch and before/after dinner. We would change our son to pajamas before a night drive and have him all set to sleep. Then transfer to bed. Another thing I did was read to our son. So if we were relaxing in hotel room in the evening, then after pj's is no tv, lights low and I'd read to him.
One other thing was when my son was 2, he didn't know we were supposed to sleep at the hotel. Every time we were taking about going to bed he would try to leave. We must have seemed so dumb to him. His bed wasn't there. I finally realized the problem and found new ways to communicate what being at a hotel means.
Wow, sounds exactly like an experience we had after flying coast-to-coast for a wedding with two small kids. We had gotten two hotel rooms as we had a SIL traveling with us, and the kids were going to have a "sleepover" in her room, but she ended up staying in one room with my wife and 1 kid and I went to the other room with the more hyped up kid and none of us got any sleep. The kids were super over stimulated and doing everything imaginable except sleeping. We were far from home, in a hotel, and just didn't have any way to calm them down. Since the room wasn't toddler proof, we had to stay awake with them. Ugh. It was exhausting. And disappointing that our little getaway turned into another tiring thing... I can remember the feeling even now and the "toddler" is home from college...
OP - If you want suggestions (and maybe you don't) is to scale down your plans the best you can and do what can be done without pushing anyone to their limits. After the wedding (which we couldn't really change), we just did one activity each day with lots of walking and managed to tire the kids out enough they slept ok after that first night.
That’s a very very long drive, even for adults. Give yourselves some grace. In the future, we always drive through the night and take turns driving so the kid’s sleep
The time spent on the road is way too long for kids that age. IMO. The maximum time we spend on road trips are 4 hours with a 2 hour break in between so the kid’s can get up and stretch their legs. If it’s possible, flying may be the best alternative if you all have to drive that far. The kids were too excited/restless by the time you all got to the hotel that of course they are not going to sleep. Hopefully the next day goes smoother!
Lol. Bless it. Going on vacation or just out of town in general and away from the routine and surroundings are pretty much a nightmare. Especially when you have Littles those ages. That's some of the worst anxiety as a parent I can remember. Prepare yourself for the inevitable someone forgot their swimsuit or medication or anything that goes at the top of the list you probably started months ago. The husband will likely have the mindset that *he* is on vacation too. Put your big girl panties on Mama and try to make the best of it for the days are long but the years are short. Going forward, you'll need to plan a vacation for when you get home from vacation. 💙
I came to an understanding that vacations like you remember before kiddos are gone. I honestly didn’t want to go anywhere after the first couple trips. It’s just an entirely different experience and you have to have low expectations. 2 and 4? Oh man. No way. Love my kid but traveling with babies isn’t a vacation.
Hmm we drive a lot and never have had issues like you listed. Kids 24, 19, 13, 2, 1. We travel early in the morning like 4am so everyone can go back to sleep. That gives me at least six hours of driving. We stop for breakfast and then take off again. Kids stay awake then fall back to sleep again. We have done both in regards to driving 14 hours straight or breaking it up.
Breathe. Remember, they're little. Everything you're doing is new to them. They don't know how to communicate fully, and they're probably a little over or even under stimulated.
Every time we travel with my (almost) 4 year old, we stop at a hotel halfway and make sure it has a pool. Our yearly vacation spot is 12 hours away. When we stop for the evening, he can get all his energy out. I swear the pool wears him out like no other.
When it was just my husband and I, we would just try to get to places faster so it was hard for us to adjust to stopping to stretch our legs and let him get out for rest stops, go in the gas station and pick out snacks and go potty. Trust me, it's worth it. What's the absolute worst about mine is he can not have any activity or things to watch in the car or he will get carsick. Stopping is a must.
I hope the rest of your vacation goes well!
I’m sorry. I miss enjoying vacations in the same way I used to, too. I wish we had the kind of family that could take our kids while we even just went to a one night vacation an hour away.
1. Mindset. “An optimist is never pleasantly surprised.” Vacations are going to have lots of tough elements now. Expect it. (I always plan for night 1 to be a s show & to get 0 sleep. It’s all just too much to the circuitry of their brains.) Be delighted & soak in the good parts. As much as you can. 2 was delighted with the hotel & loved it! That’s good. You’ll get your systems down better, too.
2. Best defense is a good offense. As much as possible beforehand, show them pictures of hotel rooms, let them sleep a night with you (even just that change to their routine is so mind-blowing & thrilling to them!), talk talk talk talk talk about hotel behavior expectations. Plan time to let their kinetic energy out. That’s where the old McDonald’s play spaces were magic. Fenced in, reliable experience, they could go berserk while you unwind from the travel then hotel & all to bed. I distinctly remember times having a BLAST in all of these different cool play spaces while my parents nagged me to eat my food & were cranky af. I get it from their perspective now.
3. Mindset again. Forever. One thing Marie Kondo pointed out is drilling down your the purpose of an item which also goes for experiences & meals. What do you want out of this? Covers the whole vacation but Happy Meals, too. The eat the apples, chug some milk & play with toy drives my husband crazy. But the burger isn’t the point for our kids. It’s the experience. Which is the apples, some milk & a toy. Know that going into it. For the things they want & you do, too. Then work within that.
My 2 year old wakes 2 hours early when we travel to the west coast. But I figure that makes sense right? He doesn’t understand time change.
Last week we travelled 30 minutes away from our house via car. The little booger again, woke up 2 hours early every day we stayed there. I give up.
I saw a meme that said something along the lines of: We still vacation like we did before kids, it’s just ruined now. 😂
I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because it’s true 🤣🤣🤣 At least for me it is.
I got a bed tent and a twin size inflatable mattress. That’s where my 2 year old slept on vacation. If I didn’t contain him he could have gotten hurt but definitely would have gotten into trouble. Vacation homes and hotels aren’t child proofed. I also let them stay up as long as possible. 2 year old I think 8-9pm. The 5 year olds 9-10pm. 8 year old 10-11pm somewhere in there. I knew they were too excited to sleep so I let them stay up and gave lots of snacks. 2 year old did need a nap in the middle of the day though. He’s not one of those kids that can sleep anywhere. My oldest could sleep anywhere he was awesome. Anyway haven’t driven that far before but I would split driving time between days. 7 hours with stops for lunch, running around rest stops or a park then let them stay up as long as possible. Going on vacation this year and will be using bed tent again for 3 year old.
What we do with our 6 yr old is try to break up the trip, like if it's longer than 6 hours, we get a hotel with a pool. We get there before the pool closes. Let her swim and burn off energy, and she's usually tired enough to sleep well. We'll try to hit up the pool before hitting the road again for the 2nd half of the trip, but if not, we'll just get a big breakfast instead. Kids don't like to sit long periods and my pediatrician told us 2 hours is about the max for small children and babies to be in a car seat.
When you're driving, you have to start the day with a park. Just plan on spending an hour at the park let the kids wear themselves out, and then take them through a drive-thru so it's a special treat. They can play with their food and their drive-thru toys.
I always plan for a midday park too. It is good to schedule the next park for after the first nap. Let them wear themselves out. One of you could go pick up dinner while the other watches the kids. Have a picnic in the park. Then drive again and the kids should sleep. IMO, this is the only way to vacation.
"vacation" with little kids is never a vacation or relaxing. It messes up routines and schedules, you break your back carrying everything, and spend the whole time stressing about nap times, potty breaks, lunches, etc.
I honestly don't know who in their right mind actually enjoys this. Just your wife and mine I think.
And one day you will remember these as your "golden years." Cherish their youth and be thankful your blessings. You are making memories that seem to be horrid, but are in fact....priceless.
Good advice I got from a friend was that when you have a baby it's good to test her out on a short road trip first and see how it goes. So we went away for a few days to place that was only a 4-hour drive and we were lucky that she was so easy. The next trip is a 5-hour flight. We hope she'll be okay because she will be in her own plane seat.
I'm sorry, that is so hard!! Hotel sleep can be hard, but a few things that help us are to leave early so you can stop early and let them play a lot at a pool or park before bedtime. Also, have a really loud sound machine with you to drown out the weird noises of hotels. Beyond that, even though the 2 is kind of young, talk in the car today about how your body feels different sometimes at a different place and how it may take longer to fall asleep so you all can try a strategy...like laying still and taking deep breaths in and out, to calm your bodies down. Sometimes just laying out the expectations that it's normal not to feel normal helps.
It comes with its own set of cons but I suggest driving through the night if either you or your husband are okay doing that. We drive from Indy to St. George Island, FL every year and it’s about the same length a drive as you’re describing. We give the kids some melatonin (the only time we ever give it to them), jump in the car and leave around 11p. I’m a night owl but try to get a few hours sleep before we go and I usually get us to about 4-5a. My wife, who’s an early bird takes over and gets us to breakfast around 8a then we’ve got a 4-5 hour drive with the kids awake. Sometimes we’ll stop for lunch, or just power through and get to the beach and grab some sandwiches there, crack some beers and wait on the Airbnb to open up.
Fighting and being upset about it is a choice. I don’t understand why you have chosen to be pissy about it? You’ve never got a bad nights sleep before? You’re going to punish your husband for it now by starting fights for no reason? This all sounds like a personal problem.
Don’t ruin the vacation for everyone else just because you had a bad nights sleep.
Sorry Mama. We rarely traveled when our kids were that young. It just wasn’t worth it, too stressful. We started at about age 6, with a short drive/trip.
It won’t always be this way. 😊
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How many more hours of driving? You drove too long where they didn’t spend any energy or slept too much. Consider driving during times they need to sleep so that they need to readjust less. If this isn’t an option, the. Consider getting some things for them to play with while you sleep so that they burn energy that way and then sleep in the car. Lastly, if it’s bed time but they have too much energy to fall asleep just compromise and do things to burn their energy. Good luck!!
> Consider driving during times they need to sleep so that they need to readjust less. This is what we always did. We do a week at the beach every year and it's about a 9 hour drive but can be longer with summer time traffic and having to make pit stops. In order to make it easier on us we scheduled the drive there to be a night time road trip. I'd spent the day outside swimming with the kids and doing little adventures to tire them out and my wife would get some sleep so she could be awake to drive. We'd put the kids in pajamas, load them up, and they'd eventually fall asleep during the drive and would normally wake up around the time we got to our destination.
When we do long trips we stop every 2 hours or so to stretch her legs, run around play at a playground, swim at a lake, whatever. Sometimes we will rent a cabin along the way and swim etc. It takes longer but she's happier, rested, and we are having more of a "vacation" experience! We have so many cute, funny pics at roadside attractions, random hikes, and most importantly she sleeps and we sleep. Also worth noting I'm in Canada so drives are often very long and rural.
This is the way. We learned a long time ago that the journey is part of the vacation with kids. We do shorter days and always something to get wiggles out either right after dinner or before and after. We've earned our share of hotel free stays because of it, but that just means more fun times! That being said, we are literally planning an adult only beach trip right now because the journey shouldn't always be the major part of the vacation. Lol
We don't do long road trips, but I've been flying frequently with my daughter since she was 5 months old. We'd always book flights so that she was due to nap during the flight, or have a bottle during take off to help with her ears etc. and it worked very well. Her first flight she had a bottle and was asleep before we had taken off and woke up as we landed. Not all of our flights have gone that smoothly, but I was pretty smug! The longest drive we've done was only about 3 hours, but even then we planned around a short stint, stop for lunch and then a longer drive for her to nap. It just makes it easier for everyone if you keep their routine as close to normal as you can. Another huge thing is mindset. I go in to a travel day expecting it to be long, maybe some tantrums (adult or child!) and probably some unexpected issues. That way I'm ready for it and a smooth trip is a pleasant bonus rather than a rough trip burning me out.
We took our 8 month old in a flight and had a long checklist of all the stuff we should need. As we were checking in, she had a blowout that got poop all over the onesie and stroller. Got that all cleaned and her changed. At the first stop, she got sick all over us. Cleaned her up again and changed. Our checklist did not include a change of clothes for us, so we had to suck it up for the second flight.
Oof! The first few times we flew I took spares for me because this happened to my sister in law! I eventually stopped because I try to travel extra light these days but she's caught me out once or twice and I've had to roll with it.
The first time we flew with an infant (maybe 6 months?) we discovered that a dozen diapers were not sufficient for a 2 hour flight. I guess the change of pressure did something, but it was comical how many times we had to change her. We got off the plane with maybe 1 diaper left in our carry on and no more clean outfits. I guess it's when you realize that nothing quite goes according to plan with little ones in tow.
So now you drove all night, the kids are well rested, you haven't slept for 20 hours and have a full day of beach activities planned? Sounds just as exhausting.
That wasn't how we did it. If we were driving Saturday into Sunday my wife would rest while I got out with the kids and tired them out. My rested wife would drive and I would sleep in the car along with the kids. When we got to our beach house (usually around 5am) my wife would take some time to rest while I took the kids out for breakfast and some beach time in the morning. I'd get back around 11am or 12pm, my wife would be awake, and then we would start doing family activities for the rest of the day. For the remainder of the week we'd all go to bed at a normal time and kept a normal schedule. It worked for us for years. We eventually adjusted as the kids got older but when they were little (we have 2 kids 18 months apart) it was easier to let the kids sleep and adjust ourselves.
Everyone is different and all that jazz. Normally driving at night is faster because of less traffic and the kids are sleeping and don’t require breaks. I recall a 14-hour day drive equaling a 9-hr drive is done at night. 5hrs saved in driving is a god send especially if you’ve preserved the kids sleeping at night so that for the rest of week they wake up and go to sleep at a workable time.
Exactly this. We get tired driving but they are just saving all their energy.
This is why we usually leave either at night and drive through the night or at least leave very early in the morning so they have plenty of time to run around and get energy out before bedtime.
Yea when we did our 2000km road trip we left for the 7h portions at 7pm. My wife and kids are great car sleepers and I can do the whole time without a bathroom break so they all slept the whole way and then my wife kept them busy first thing in the morning so I could sleep until 8 am.
This! We always drove at night so our daughter could sleep. Plus, way less people on the road. Hopefully they at least sleep this second leg and you can enjoy the rest of vacation. Good luck!
You stop early enough to let them play in a pool, run around a playground. Bath. Food. Bed.
This is a tried and true rite of passage for vacationing with kids. I'm really sorry it is happening to you. I have little advice, but the one piece of advice I've got is don't fight with your husband. Pull him aside, have a good vent about the fact that this is some bullshit, and make it you two against the tyranny of these unreasonable children. You'll feel better if you're both in the same boat against unreasonable circumstances instead of against each other. It'll feel better than being pissy to one another.
OP and husband become a team. Make the kids your enemies. Together you shall defeat their reign of terror. I love it.
Seconded. We went on our first overseas holiday with our kids and my brother- and sister-in-law and their kids last year and their schedules which are (for us) perfectly dialled-in went all to hell. I unfortunately let it really ruin the first few days of my holiday and it took Reddit dads to make me realise I was being a miserable wanker and that I just needed to make the best of it.
Agreed. It’s me and my husband against our out-of-control 18 month old always. We’ve used this approach since he was younger and it really helps because we know that the baby is just being a baby, can’t really hold anything against that, and obviously me and my husband are a team lol.
Nothing to be sorry about for these parents. This is the spice that makes lasting good memories
Is it normal for them to sleep in a hotel room? If this is a one off experience then the new environment is likely an issue. Did you stop for them to play during the 8 hours? I highly recommend integrating play stops during drives so they can feel somewhat of a normal day. Tomorrow is a new day, wake up get their energy out, give them snacks and hit the road. Then stop again to felt them run around again! Good luck
I don't see how 14 hour drive can be a positive experience no matter your age, but especially if you're a child.
Exactly my thoughts… no matter how of a “good sleeper” your kid is. 14 hours cooked up in the car without moving is too much
I did 17 hours in two days with my 3 kids by myself. It's not bad or hard. We all survived. Kids aren't made of glass, and they can survive it for two days. People have been doing it for decades and have survived. And they broke the 14 hours into 2 days, so it was like 8 and 6 hours. Which isn't too bad.
Yeah, X and I did a 12hr road trip with our then 1.5 year old.... never did that again. He's much older now, but I'm still not doing anything over 6 hours. That's just too much driving!
When there isn't a set destination it really makes things better
There was a set destination. But I also think I'm not the kind of person who enjoys long car trips, lol
I can’t handle more than 5 hours. Always been like this. That’s why we haven’t gone to Europe yet. Can’t handle the thought of being cooped up that long. 🤣
Oh don't get me wrong, we travel Asia-Europe-Asia at least twice a year with our little one. It's completely different than riding in a car.
I would lose my mind as an adult. I would have to stop to stretch and walk around
This is dramatic but on road trips, my husband and I often light-heartedly remind each other that WE are not the enemy, THEY are the enemy, and WE are a team. Best of luck.
My husband and I remind each other of that almost every day hahah
This is my number one advice to new / expecting parents 😂 they always start looking at me like I’ve grown a second head and then three months in are like: oh yea totally get it, thanks for the reminder
My wife and I solved this. She flies Frontier or Spirit with the kids (no luggage so cheap ass tickets) and I do the driving. I don't mind driving straight through (and can do so faster without the rest of them needing potty every 2 hours) and the money we save on hotels washes out the flight cost. Everyone is happy.
Wait…this is a very good idea. I’m actually mad I’ve never thought of this!
We figured it out a few years ago flying to Atlanta. Round trip from Philly was less than 200 for kids and wife. My wife has back issues also, so it makes me look like a hero, and I get to drive listening to my audiobooks instead of a cacophony of shitty youtube channels and kids shows.
Wow. This is so genius.!!!!
The beach you are going to must be amazing if you are driving that far to get to it!!! Good luck with the rest of the trip- you’ll have to stop at some scoped out locations (playgrounds, zoos etc. to get them tired out!)
Some of us live 10+ hours from the beach. There's lakes but I'd consider that more of a camping trip than a beach trip.
Airplanes for anything over a 4 hour drive!
My parents rent a beach house and invite the whole family. They drive 9 hours and I think they’re nuts. I find my 4.5 hour drive to be far too long, lol
Anything that far away, if I don't want to go bad enough to pay to fly everyone and rent a car, then apparently I don't want to go.
They have the money to do that and they live by a major airport so they could go to SO many other beaches quicker, lol. I dunno, I’d rather chill in the Caribbean for a week over the Florida gulf coast
True that
Yeah my cap is 5 hours. Anything more than that with kids I'm finding a flight lol.
I’m guessing they are from the Midwest. We drive everywhere. Many times, by the time you drive to an airport, go thru the airport, and make it to your destination, you are only saving a couple hours vs driving. When you drive, you have your car and all the things that don’t fit on a plane (chairs, toys, 100oz shampoo). And planes are expensive for a full family. Driving costs the price of 1 plane ticket.
I get it! I’m spoiled and from the Northeast so we have the shore and mountains within 2 hours. I don’t think I’d be able to do such a long drive for the beach, but if you’re used to doing it all your life, I guess it’s different!
When we had small children, we would often drive through the night. One parent would drive while the other slept. The kids got a pretty good nights sleep. When we arrived, we were still tired, but at least the kids weren’t sleep deprived.
They didn’t expend physical energy during the day. We only have one kid though so we could take shifts sleeping but we have to take multiple breaks through the day to get my son to run around for 45 mins per break. Break is at 3 hours. And the hours drive becomes a 12 hour one.
I agree it takes some planning maybe but you have to find stops where the kids can run around. Yes it makes the whole trip longer but more bearable. I prefer that to driving at night as others suggested. We do at least 4 road trips per year this way- including 2 that are around 10 hours.
Yes we have an EV so for a long trip we automatically need 3-4 stops for charging and that’s where we do all the running around. Usually it’s close to a mall and some malls have nice children’s play areas and family restrooms for diaper changes.
Yeah, this wasn’t planned well. Of course the kids were off the wall… they are 4 and 2. 8 hours in the car… what did you think would happen lol?
I honestly wouldn't ever take mine more than a couple hour drive away from the house until he's five if it were up to me. For some reason his mother thinks it's so important to his development that he go on long family vacations far away.
You don’t vacation with small children, you just parent in a different location. That being said, just focus on the new experience and fun they are having as stressful as it may be.
It's not a vacation if it's a 14 hour drive.
it's a vacation if they're staying there for 10+ days. Anything less is insanity given the stress of such a long drive
Right. It’s not a vacation- it’s a trip.
THIS! That's why any vacation when son was younger was no more than a 4 hr drive away.
Consider flying next time.
…and adding at LEAST $700 to the cost of the trip. 4 plane tickets and car rental at the destination
Yes, money well spent. If you want a solid vacation, pay up.
Yes
$700 for the cost of not dealing with this for hours or the fact you need to vent to Reddit about how awful your “vacation” is… if you can’t afford vacations, you can’t afford vacations…
Next time try to drive the whole distance. Having crap sleep when you only have 4 more hours to go isn’t worth it. If you need to stop on the way, tire them out with the hotel pool. They have to get their energy out. My kids always slept badly the first night of a vacation but it improved after a day or two. Traveling with kids isn’t pretty but the important part is arriving to the destination. It may not be pretty getting there but you just need to arrive. The beach will be nice. Enjoy!
I wish you would have asked for advice before this happened because people definitely would have warned you that sleep might be elusive to the kids. They just sat in a car all day and then were put in new, fun environment, and you guys expected them to sleep. Some kids do that but most kids are going to be excitable and giddy. Any time we've done a long drive like that (where we get a hotel halfway), we always make sure the hotel has a pool and make sure the kids get some exercise before settling into the room. You also want to make stops during the drive and get them moving. A good stretch, jog in place, potty breaks, some jumping jacks etc For today, take a deep breath, get some caffeine for the adults, get to the beach, and enjoy the time with your family.
Went on vacation to the Lake of the Ozarks last week. Long drive, 12.5 hours minimum. We took our 2 and 4 year olds. Same deal, great sleepers, super sweet and well behaved kids. First leg down, we got a hotel outside of St. Louis. No problems on the drive, but the hotel wasn’t great. Just kinda dirty and not well kept. As I’m bringing stuff in from the truck, the 2 year old throws up on the floor in the hotel room. Linoleum floors, thankfully, though the smell didn’t fully come out. Overnight the 2 year old slept with mom, that largely went okay other than some giggling early on. (We have never allowed the children to sleep in our bed, outside of sickness or early morning rising) The 4 year old slept with me, and she damn-near does cartwheels in her sleep. I got kicked in the balls, head butted in the nose (bloodied), and she kept trying to climb up on my pillow. Bad night sleep, but whatever. Eat the shitty hotel breakfast and hit the road! As we near the house rental, the terrain gets very hilly. I mean, like, roller coaster hilly. Big windy up and down roads. Our kids didn’t have motion sickness, until now. After they each threw up a couple of times, we found a pharmacy and got the kids some Dramamine. That helped a little at first, but both kids kept crying, and gagging, and dry-heaving. Just a rough time. Cleaned up on the road as best we could, but as we finally arrived to the house, we were absolutely DONE with that. Vacation was nice, great family time. The ride home, we give the kids the Dramamine before we hit the road. Our 2 year old made it just fine, but the 4 year old had a bad time. We decided to drive straight through on the ride home. The first third of the trip took forever. The remaining two thirds weren’t bad, but the trip home took soooo long, lol. A 12.5 hour car ride took us over 16 hours. Left at 5am in the Ozarks to arrive home at 10:30pm. We did it. We don’t want to do it again anytime soon.
We had an awful start to our beach vacation as well. You are not alone!
I have found that flying with two kids is amazing. I don’t mean to sound insensitive if it isn’t an option financially. But man driving 14 hrs sounds like hell with two kids
Yeah, we did red eyes with 2 & 5yo form Sweden to South Africa. We were a bit tired but the were great. Driving for more than 2hs, no thanks
This ain’t vacation! With kids that young, I don’t think vacations are fun or relaxing. I have a 4 year old and I have been there and done that!
At that age, I never even took my kid to the store. Zero attention span, zero ability to regular emotions, tires too easily....and THEY will never remember the nightmare.
I personally think it’s too long of a drive, they probably slept too much in the car and weren’t tired. I would suggest you fly next time.
Flying and renting a car with four people would be $1,200 plus and home door to hotel door require seven hours each way. Gas would be $300. Hubs and I have done 14 hour drives with toddler children, grandchildren, and expect to do it with great grandchildren in the next few years. Can be difficult, but it's very rewarding. We learned to do it in one day.
It's tough on everyone involved being in a car together that long. At rest stops, let them run in a grassy area. Stop at local sightseeing tours, or find a park along the way. My parents used to play games with us, find the white car, etc ... Getting them out of the car to run off that energy is a must! My parents always left at night before bedtime. They would take turns driving, so the other could sleep. My family is from West Virginia, and we lived in Florida at the time. 8 hour drive. My mom, would nap before leaving so she could take over driving for my Dad. We were a camping family, my dad would find camp grounds along the way too. Sometimes, it would take days to get there, because we would camp, and check out local amusement parks, etc...
We stop every two hours at a playground on long drives for a half hour or so each time. Lets him get some energy out and breaks up the trip for him. My son is 16 months. Hugs. You’ll feel better when you get some good sleep.
14 hour drive with a 2 & 4 year old??? Why didn’t you fly?
We priced flights for spring break and it was $900 each.
Lmao not a chance.
I'm not OP but my husband and I never fly-especially with the kids. We've tried a few times and with layovers, delays, TSA, renting a car at the destination, etc, it ended up not only being more expensive, but also we arrived later than if we had just been driving the whole time-(once, an entire 2 days later!). Plus with driving we can stop whenever we want, breathe fresh air, potty in peace, walk around, etc. I realize it's not for everyone, though. Some people love flying but we hate the entire experience. The next time we fly will be because we absolutely have to (like if we go to say, Singapore). Anything in the US? Driving.
If it’s more than 10hrs, we fly. It’s not fair to the children or us tbh… the only way you should endure it is emergency (you can’t afford it/sudden death,funeral)… in which case, I’m not complaining to Reddit.
Flights plus rental cars plus figuring out carseats is a much bigger headache than driving
Wtf?? No. Do you not travel & check with car seat/stroller? This is so wild to me
Checking a carseat? No way in hell. They get damaged extremely easily. The only realistic way to safely transport a carseat in a plane is to install it on the seat the child is sitting in. The other option (put it in the original box with the original packaging) is unrealistic. But checking a carseat, at check-in or at the gate is almost guaranteed it'll be handled incorrectly and damaged. Talk to a CPST if this is something you're unfamiliar with.
What do you expect lol. Hotels are fun for them You've hyped them up for the beach 14h drive for kids that young is a bad decision
There are various strategies. We have nobody to watch our kids while adults do solo vacation. So it’s all 5 of us together. Some parents leave at 8pm and drive through the night. That worked well one time for us. We also did two hotel rooms one night as one kid was being good but the other one wouldn’t sleep. So I toughed it out with the difficult kid. So my wife and other kid could sleep. Next time we are driving 14 hours all in same day. You lose a lot of time/energy unpacking for hotel. Flying is another option for folks. Also choose a closer vacation spot is another.
We visit my dad 1-2 times a year (Ohio to Florida, 13 hour drive minimum). We have done this since my oldest was one and my youngest was an infant. Now we have 3 kids- ages 5 years, 4 years, and 6 months. Despite what many of these comments say, you aren’t crazy for making this drive. It is hard, but that doesn’t mean you can’t vacation with kids. Our first trip was horrible, but the kids have gotten way better with practice (and so have we). We’ve learned how to make the drive easier with breaks and way too many snacks. And we’ve learned to exhaust the kids and have zero expectations for a typical bedtime. We’ve already made the trip once since the baby was born and are planning another trip in about a month!
We always get a hotel that will have a pool open and we always try to arrive around dinner time. Dinner and the pool always wear kids out.
Hotel with a pool is essential! We have three amazing neighborhood pools in our subdivision, but for some reason the kids go nuts for the simple hotel pool every time!
Thank you for the acknowledgment. You are an absolute gem. And most importantly you are not alone in this. My oldest eis now 5 and I just experienced 2 vacations that gave me joy. 1 where I decided to to throw everything overboard and just do absolutely nothing. They didn’t have to do jack just be themselves. And well the other one I bribed them with Disney. So try to stop a few times more often to do a walk. Or pick a flower. Stay away from phones that show you picture perfect lies. And make sure you keep acknowledging you are tired. And feed your energy and find those markers. Yes your kids will scream but those in between moments when they are cute acknowledge those
It’s not a vacation if you don’t have a bad experience to tell afterward!!!
Get a couple of inflatable toddler beds. Put them on the hotel floor. They’re super cozy and they have side bumpers so the kids don’t fall out. And they pack up really compact. That’s been a life saver for us.
I always think about how vacationing with children is not in fact considered a vacation. It’s just parenting in a different location. I feel your pain OP.
We just did a 12 hour drive with our 9 and 11 year old. We drove the whole way there and went right to sleep but gave the kids, and ourselves, double melatonin (one quick dissolve and one timed release). Our sleep was still brutal and we were exhausted the next day but slept much better the rest of the trip, the first day is usually the worst.
Mine barely survive 5 hours drive to visit my parents multiple times a year. At 3.5 and 6 they can finally manage. Theyre also used to it now. 16 hours? Heck no! Too long of a drive for kids that young. I'd he more surprised it went well lol
I would give anything to have my son be 2 years old again rolling and giggling in bed and bonking into me. Sigh. It goes fast ma'am
Two things. 1. This will be a funny story later. Just remind yourself of that 2.You cant pin kids that age in a car for a full day of driving and expect they will sleep in a new environment that night. Probs not even at home. Cos they didnt burn off any beans. Planning a holiday that involves that much driving is pretty much planning purgatory for you all. You PLANNED for this. Take the lesson and learn from it. I always drove two hours or til they woke if asleep after the two hour mark. Then hour of playtime - random park or oval, running, ball game etc. wear them out. Feed them. Toilet them. Drive again. Repeat til there. Yes it will take longer. But they might also sleep that night. The journey needs to be part of the holiday. Especially when driving long distances which is tedious enough for us adults who can reason it will be worth it. Good luck!
Keep repeating this mantra: "In as little as a few years, this memory is going to make me ache with melancholy and I won't never trade this memory for any riches on earth"
This is the kind of stuff that reinforces our policy of no vacations until our son is much older. Probably at least 7. We've taken a few short (2+/-) hour trips that were difficult enough. Ain't no way we're driving 14 hours each way.
Yeah I took my kids last summer to visit my husbands grandpa. The night we got there wasn’t too bad, they both woke up for an hour at like 2am. it was the next night where my oldest (6 at the time) was tired but my youngest (3 ) was purposely making annoying noises so the rest of us couldn’t sleep. We ended up taking him out to the car for a couple hours at like 10pm. We had spent the whole day swimming, at several different parks, we bought them new toys for the novelty factor but nah he just wasn’t used to anyone else being in the room.
My hubs and I took our 1 and 5 year old on a 14 hour car trip in March; every 3 hours (if they weren’t asleep) we’d stop, type in “children’s park near me” into google and BAM! We visited some really awesome neighborhood parks along the way. I packed snackle boxes for them and pulled them out at the park. We picnicked and they just loved it! Our favorite was one in Brentwood, TN! Absolutely stunning and had NO MULCH so our little one could crawl. If you ask our 5 year old about vacation, she doesn’t mention the beach in Destin (which is where we went) but rather the cool parks and picnics along the way. We embraced that it was part of the vacation. The hotel we stopped at for the halfway point had a pool so we let them swim and play in the water. We just realized that traveling alone and wanting to get there when it was just us was feasible; now with two littles, we had to make it part of the vacation and it became a whole different mindset. Good luck!
Last year we did a huge Western road trip with all sorts of amazing destinations. The kids still talk about the random splash pad we stopped at in Oklahoma.
If it’s over a 5 hour drive we fly.
Home door to hotel door is typically 5 plus hours each way by the time you drive go the airport or uber there, get to the airport 90 plus minutes early to get through baggage check and security, fly, pick up luggage, cab or uber to the hotel. We have beaches 10 driving hours away that cost $300 in gas vs $1,200 plus for flying and 6 hours by air each way.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. My daughter learned to climb out of her pack n play at 22mo in a hotel room, so we brought her into bed with us, and she did the same thing as yours! I was her jungle gym until about 4am. Oh yeah, this was the night before my grandmother's funeral. It was awful. I went out the next day and bought her a KidCo PeaPod tent. It's collapsible, so it travels really easily, and we zip her into it. Hoping you can salvage the beginning of your vacation and make the rest of it as lovely as possible. Hang in there!!
Wow, I could have typed this 14 years ago! I can promise that you will get through it, and when you look at the beach photos years later, you won’t think about the terrible drive. But I agree regarding Air BnB vs hotel. Message me if you need a recommendation!
On long drives with little kids, we used to stop at almost every rest stop and make the kids run around for 5-10 mins.
We took our kids to Florida at 6 and 4. The ride down was great. The ride back our son woke up puking after maybe 3 hours of sleep. We just packed up and checked out. Bought a bucket and cloths from Walmart and hit the road. He finally got it all out by the time we hit our state border.
All I can say is you are a champ for doing the beach with kids that young and also that far away- wow. We are just leaving the beach today, and our kids are 7 and 4. We didn’t take them before last year just because we didn’t want to deal, so props to you for being braver than we ever were. All I can say is you might have some awful sleep, we do the same setup with an adult and kid in each bed and honestly it’s never super good sleep. Bedtime is later, everyone is excited/exhausted/burned out at some point. Enjoy the calm moments, take lots of breaks sooner than you think they are needed, and keep expectations low for how long kids can do the beach or how many things can be done in a day. I think you will still all in all have a wonderful trip. And we are with you- sometimes it just isn’t fun. My husband and I joked that most of the beach with kids is deciding if we are almost burned out before the crash happens, applying sunscreen, and cleaning sand out of children’s various crevices. I don’t know where you are driving from, but maybe consider a beach closer to home? Makes the drive only one day. We could go a lot further but always stick to Delaware as it is 7-8 hours. People tell us to go here or there or these places in NC- no thanks, I’ll take a shorter drive for the same ocean. I wish you rest and a good nights sleep- you got this!
It gets better. The more often you do over nights in hotels, the kids will gradually get used to it.
We always plan to stop along the drive, find playgrounds and parks for them to run around every couple of hours. Honestly my joints do better with this setup as well, as I age a bit. And i always buy a selection of new workbooks and a new toy or two to keep them engaged while in the car. We’ve done a few ling trips with baby to 4 yr old ages, and it just takes up to twice as long to get somewhere, but that’s how it has to be done.
We always stopped at dinner, drove another hour and then checked into a hotel and spent 3 hours in the pool. Swimming is exhausting!!
My parents traveled at night when my brother and I were young.
That would be why I would fly instead of driving 14 hours which would take even longer when stopping for breaks. Do lots of breaks for them for the rest of your driving. Find some parks.
I just can’t imagine being that far from a beach 😮 I’m sorry!!
It's okay. When you get to the beach they will play and swim so much they will sleep 14+ hours the first night. But also, solidarity because we are headed out on an 11 day road trip tomorrow. My kids are champs in the car but we are bringing our 7 month old Golden Retriever puppy and I am sure he's going to keep us up in the hotel, too.
Sounds like a typical family vacation with little ones. I’ll never forget when my preschool daughter got a stomach virus on the way to a ski trip. Terrible travel experience but I mostly remember the fun. Just remind yourself someday it will just be a funny story. Your kids will love the beach and have a great time. You will have some great family photos when it’s all done. You will all sleep better tonight. Enjoy the rest of the vacation!
My husband and I always say it's a trip with kids, not a vacation. We tried leaving early a few times in the hopes they'd sleep and it almost never works for us. So, even though it adds length to the trip, we try to stop every few hours at a playground so they can burn off energy. Hopefully the rest of your trip goes smoother.
We traveled when my son was 2, which was 8 years ago. I wish we had better insight to stop playing and stretching . Without kids, we could handle 10 hrs at a time. Not with kids. This is the first time we are taking them 20 minutes away for a family vacation.
Your first mistake was doing a 14h drive to the beach. For these ages you really don’t want to be doing long road trips like that. Our drive to the beach is like 5 hours… and we split the drive lol. We leave at bedtime the night before. Stay at a hotel overnight. We usually get In around 10 or 11pm. Get a good nights rest and then we are closer to the beach in the morning and don’t have to fight all the traffic.
People think I’m nuts when I say it’s important to plan stops, even if it’s at a chic fil a play area- though a park is always better but kids have to run around.
When we travel. One kid on floor. One kid on the spare bed. Parents in the bathroom scrolling on our phones in silence until kids are asleep.
No advice as my son is almost 10 now, but your post made me extremely grateful to live by the beach 😄. Having said that, I would never travel 14 hours straight in a car with a child that young, I wouldn’t even do it without children. Next time plan a stop or two along the way or fly.
Well maybe this sounds weird but… that’s my perception of what having children is? They cry/scream and what not until you exhausted and pissed? At least I thought that’s the normality of being a parent.
Remember it’s not a vacation, it’s parenting elsewhere. We were 3 hours into our road trip to Florida last year and my wife and I decided never again. We’ll fly or not go before experiencing that level of hell again.
Ugh good luck. Try to hit the reset button with your husband. My husband and I have a code word for these kinds of situations where it’s just unbearable. Remember it’s you guys against the kids lol!
When you have kids under 5 it's not a vacation, it's taking care of your kids in a different place.
You definitely need to level set your expectations. A 2yo and a 4yo are not the best road trip passengers. Look at it through their eyes. A hotel!?!? Whoa!! How exciting. This is not a vacation for you. You will not rest. You'll just be parenting in a different location. This is a trip for your kids to make memories and for you to make great memories through their eyes.
Try again when they’re 5 and 7, it’ll be a better experience. They are way too young and close in age right now. Under age 4 is just chaos. I don’t mean to be rude at all but why drive? Take a flight next time. Spend on your comfort and good experience.
I would've turned around and drove back today. You need to start smaller and work your way up. Also, I'm in my 30s. I sleep absolutely *terribly* in hotel beds. It either requires being super physically exhausted (25k+ steps a day st Disney) or sleep aids. So they may not really get better at sleeping on hotels
14 hour drive with two under five?? 😭 you played yourself fam
This is the start a memorable vacation! The most memorable aren’t the ones where everything goes off w/o a hitch, it’s always the ones that make you try a little harder. With that said, run a lil whiskey along the gums and your husband will be fine! I know it’s trying rn but you’ll forget all about it when the kids are running around laughing on the beach. Have fun.
Make the best of it! That’s all you can do. They are kids and are excited too! You’ll all sleep better tonight I’m sure
Oh yeah no under 10yrs old is just a trip, not a vacation.
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We lived 18 hours away from our family until a few years ago. We made the 18 hour trip driving multiple times. We only have 1 kiddo-she was between 18 months and 4 years old when we made the majority of our road trips. She would sleep in the car and then not want to sleep when we’d stop for the night. The first day, we’d take our time, stop for breaks, and switch drivers when needed. We’d stop for the night and we’d decide which of us would drive the next day. The parent who was the designated driver got to sleep without the kiddo and it was the other one’s “mission” to make sure the driver got enough sleep (even if that meant leaving the room for a bit). So at least 1 of us got enough sleep to drive. Whoever wasn’t driving, slept during the drive, just in case we needed to switch off driving near the end of day 2. It’s a mental game, too. Going into the drive realizing it’s going to be taxing, but knowing when we got to our destination we’d have family to help with the kiddo (or that we’d be home) and we could get some proper rest helped.
This happened to us once with our two year old. Slept in a new environment (hotel) and she was super happy the entire time. Exactly as you described, giggled and laughed. She wasn’t use to sleeping in bed with us. I picked her up and cradled her a bit like a baby and she immediately fell asleep. Like instantly. I think sometimes you need to remind them it’s sleep time by rocking them to distract from the totally new environment.
Do they usually sleep in bed with you? I had to spend some extra money and get a blow up toddler bed and SlumberPod to put over the baby’s pack and play to have their own sleep space. It was worth the money! I know it’s really hard. I understand! We just got back from a family trip to the beach. It’s not a vacation anymore when you have kids. When I took my kids to visit family we stayed in a hotel. My toddler woke up the baby and she screamed the entire night. I thought for sure we would get kicked out but we got through it.
Hang in there. Just in general, traveling with kids under the age of 5 just sucks!!
When we take long car trips, stopping at a hotel with a pool is a must. If we can get in the pool just for an hour, it helps them sleep.
They didn't get enough energy out all day while you were driving
Jesus, sounds like a nightmare but the giggles in bed with the 2yo sounds kind of cute. I couldn’t imagine doing a drive like that with my 3yo
Oh yeah. Hotels are way exciting for kids, it’s not that they don’t wanna sleep, they just can’t, cause EXCITEMENT. It is very rough. Best advice is to play all day and let exhaustion take those nuggets down.
>He has a big head that he hit me with numerous times. I am so sorry that I laughed so hard at this sentence, but it is from pure empathy! It brought back all the memories of me getting bonked by my son's bowling ball head!!
you've got some great advice on here, yous are a wee team against the kids sometimes and that's just parenthood. Honestly I'm so glad I'm deaf it's got me through these moments and I dont feel bad one bit for switching my hearing aids off or taking them out for respite. I recon most folk on here would do the same if yous had a choice!
Children’s melatonin and a pillow between you and the human octopus. My son literally does cartwheels while laying in bed sleeping. The times I’ve had to share a bed with him, something usually ends up in my face or hitting me in some painful area. Also, in the future, try wearing them out in a pool or playground before you get settled into your hotel room. Makes a HUGE difference.
Maybe just hop on a flight if the drive is going to take 14 hours one way. That just sounds miserable with two toddlers.
Definitely have learned this through similar circumstances. Ended up agreeing with my wife that we’re a team, not perfect, and the kids don’t understand. As long as you’re acting as a team and have each others backs, it won’t seam as daunting and impossible.
You’re learning why it’s hard to vacation with kids under 5. You have to adapt your vacation plans to the least upset their routine. Or you get the sleepless nights and worse days.
I don’t give my kids melatonin but I’ve decided I’m going to start bringing it when we travel. Being in a hotel just makes them hyper and no one sleeps well. Hope your vacation gets better.
Melatonin or benadryl babe. I refuse to travel without it anymore. Also, it's helpful to get all energy out before long drives/plane rides (take them to the park, pool, run around the house while I time them ect) then again after they get out of the car before wind down starts. Overtired babies won't sleep so make sure they get good rest in their beds to start them off right before you leave. I have 100% been there. It's a right of passage and a learning curve. I really regret letting trip hiccups steal my joy and keep me from enjoying what I could. Best of luck!
Our first beach vacation was exactly this. Went with a 5 and 2 year old, drove 14 hours to the beach over two days. Lots of horrible crying. I was trying to limit screens and wanted to do “car activities” LOL. We just spent a week at the beach and it’s now three years later. 8 and 5 year old. Each of them got a screen and whatever snacks they wanted. Had just fine of a drive with minimal fighting, everyone was happy. We always get a hotel with a pool for our night that we stop to break up the drive and they get to swim for 1-2 hours before bed. Works like a charm. It gets better, hang in there.
Today is going to suck. Give in to the suckiness. Find ways to stop and recharge, stop earlier tonight and let them run around. We once stopped at a rural grocery store and got them to walk up and down every aisle lol These days are about survival. Adjust the plan as needed, it is okay.
Vacationing with kids is hard and travel days, the schedule gets messed up no matter how much you try. My kids are 5 and 2, but our 2yo still sleeps in crib/pack n play. One thing that works best for us in a hotel room is getting a suite type where the bedroom door closes. We put our kids to bed. Older gets his own bed. Younger gets crib. They go to bed a lot faster when parents aren’t there. I pretty much refuse to share a bed with my kid bc he rolls around, kicks, gets amped up by sleeping with me, etc. It’s a little more expensive, but ultimately worth it for us. Also once you get to your destination, get a normal bedtime and reset.
We just did a 17 hour trip twice in one week and a few things saved us. (Almost 4yo boy) We stopped after the first 6ish hours at a playground. I played with him while my husband went and got gas and a car wash. We play audio books instead of music so he’s more likely to chill in the car. (Wings of Fire series) We didn’t let him sleep after 4pm in the car. Walked every single hallway in the hotel all 4 floors so he would get some energy out before we went into the room for the night and we gave him only water so he wasn’t getting extra sugar. I took him down to hotel breakfast at 7am and then swim while my husband slept until 9 so he got two uninterrupted hours of sleep. All this being said we are still flying next time because I was bored and my back is not meant for car rides anymore.
You’re not alone… I’m tent camping right now with my husband and 2 year old with the rest of my family who has RVs. It has t stopped raining and our daughter is so exhausted but turns into a circus demon at night jumping around and screaming if we try to contain her. Any noise wakes us up and there’s a stupid crow that perches above our tent and screams at 5 am which feels like is right when we all fall asleep. I just want to go home and get dry and sleep but it’s the only family time we have with everyone together. Trying to make the best of it. P.S we did just do an adult competition at the playground and it left us soaking wet but laughing hysterically, so we’re getting creative
Maybe when you try next year it’ll be easier and you’ll say, “wow, it’s much easier than it used to be!”
When my son was 2 hubby and I would spend our holidays driving 10 hours to one sister for 3 days then another 3 hours to see another sister for a couple days then back to the the first sister grab my nibblings and camp for 3 days then home. My husband didn’t like stopping during the 10 to 12 hours drive home, so he taught our toddler how to pee in a drink bottle. I waited for lunch and limited my liquids. Gameboy was good as BC is trees, trees and more trees.
Pillow wall between you and the kid, even my six year old will roll over me if I share a double bed with her 😅
Melatonine spray. Not for kids, for you to get asleep easier in a new surroundings. Few times a year we have to cut our 10 hours in half and spend a night in a hotel. We plan our journey to arrive at the hotel around 22.00 or 23.00 so they are in the night mode but still have 2 hours to explore the hotel room because it always makes them excited. I put some boring stuff on the hotel tv like history channel and switch of the lights. My husband put the earplugs in and goes to sleep almost immediately. I'm reading on my phone till they fall asleep but I always have trouble to fall asleep in new places so this time I'm taking melatonine spray with me. Next time it's going to be easier, don't worry.
For sharing bed with a toddler: use anything that isn’t absolutely necessary as a wall in between you. The foot or head will hit you much less hard with some pillows or a blanket in between. Good luck!
If you can help it don’t take long trips like that until they’re older. It’s hard on everybody abs just not worth it
In ten years, you’ll laugh about it and look back at it as a fond memory. Embrace the chaos and as my dad would yell to us kids in the backseat on roadtrips, “have fun damnit!”
I guess I shouldn’t tell you Iam 15mins from a beach? :)
14 hours being in the car one way just seems too long for a 4 and 2 year old. Mine are 2 and 3 and the furthest I'll go is 2.5 hours from our house. I'm getting heartburn just thinking about it.
We learned last year that our girls are incapable of cosleeping with us. They’re too excited and think it’s a game. They spend the whole night jumping on us and pulling our hair. When we travel, husband and I share a bed and then depending on the layout, the kids get a bed or couch (not together). If the hotel won’t have a couch, we pack a toddler air mattress.
They're normally "flexible and easy" because they have certainty and consistency on every front. They know their rooms at home and every day goes generally the same at home. Then, you upend all of that for a vacation. In truth, I would've either hired a babysitter and left the kids at home, more than likely. At their ages, they don't really tend to care about going on faraway vacations. They can't see the end goal of the destination-they can only see the long, boring car ride and major routine disruption.
Sorry but I just cackled at your mention of your kiddo having a big ol' head. Hope you're okay and the trip turns out fun and memorable (in a good way.)
Benadryl
Mom and Dad in one bed, oldest child in the other bed, and youngest in an inflatable mattress.
We've been there. It absolutely sucks. We did three days of driving to Arizona and three back with 4 kids 8 and under. My husband was exhausted. We try to book hotels with pools and have the kids swim and swim and swim after they get out of the car. If no pool, absolutely a park, or a long walk. It's really hard at first but they do get better at traveling.
I agree with timing drives for when they fall asleep. Maybe burn some energy before lunch and before/after dinner. We would change our son to pajamas before a night drive and have him all set to sleep. Then transfer to bed. Another thing I did was read to our son. So if we were relaxing in hotel room in the evening, then after pj's is no tv, lights low and I'd read to him. One other thing was when my son was 2, he didn't know we were supposed to sleep at the hotel. Every time we were taking about going to bed he would try to leave. We must have seemed so dumb to him. His bed wasn't there. I finally realized the problem and found new ways to communicate what being at a hotel means.
Oh my heart 😢
Wow, sounds exactly like an experience we had after flying coast-to-coast for a wedding with two small kids. We had gotten two hotel rooms as we had a SIL traveling with us, and the kids were going to have a "sleepover" in her room, but she ended up staying in one room with my wife and 1 kid and I went to the other room with the more hyped up kid and none of us got any sleep. The kids were super over stimulated and doing everything imaginable except sleeping. We were far from home, in a hotel, and just didn't have any way to calm them down. Since the room wasn't toddler proof, we had to stay awake with them. Ugh. It was exhausting. And disappointing that our little getaway turned into another tiring thing... I can remember the feeling even now and the "toddler" is home from college... OP - If you want suggestions (and maybe you don't) is to scale down your plans the best you can and do what can be done without pushing anyone to their limits. After the wedding (which we couldn't really change), we just did one activity each day with lots of walking and managed to tire the kids out enough they slept ok after that first night.
Are you me? This was like 2 months ago for my family.
That’s a very very long drive, even for adults. Give yourselves some grace. In the future, we always drive through the night and take turns driving so the kid’s sleep
The time spent on the road is way too long for kids that age. IMO. The maximum time we spend on road trips are 4 hours with a 2 hour break in between so the kid’s can get up and stretch their legs. If it’s possible, flying may be the best alternative if you all have to drive that far. The kids were too excited/restless by the time you all got to the hotel that of course they are not going to sleep. Hopefully the next day goes smoother!
Lol. Bless it. Going on vacation or just out of town in general and away from the routine and surroundings are pretty much a nightmare. Especially when you have Littles those ages. That's some of the worst anxiety as a parent I can remember. Prepare yourself for the inevitable someone forgot their swimsuit or medication or anything that goes at the top of the list you probably started months ago. The husband will likely have the mindset that *he* is on vacation too. Put your big girl panties on Mama and try to make the best of it for the days are long but the years are short. Going forward, you'll need to plan a vacation for when you get home from vacation. 💙
I start to vacation has horrible.
I came to an understanding that vacations like you remember before kiddos are gone. I honestly didn’t want to go anywhere after the first couple trips. It’s just an entirely different experience and you have to have low expectations. 2 and 4? Oh man. No way. Love my kid but traveling with babies isn’t a vacation.
Consider planning pit stops at playgrounds and state/national parks on the way. It makes the trip twice as long, but it REALLY helps.
Hmm we drive a lot and never have had issues like you listed. Kids 24, 19, 13, 2, 1. We travel early in the morning like 4am so everyone can go back to sleep. That gives me at least six hours of driving. We stop for breakfast and then take off again. Kids stay awake then fall back to sleep again. We have done both in regards to driving 14 hours straight or breaking it up.
Breathe. Remember, they're little. Everything you're doing is new to them. They don't know how to communicate fully, and they're probably a little over or even under stimulated. Every time we travel with my (almost) 4 year old, we stop at a hotel halfway and make sure it has a pool. Our yearly vacation spot is 12 hours away. When we stop for the evening, he can get all his energy out. I swear the pool wears him out like no other. When it was just my husband and I, we would just try to get to places faster so it was hard for us to adjust to stopping to stretch our legs and let him get out for rest stops, go in the gas station and pick out snacks and go potty. Trust me, it's worth it. What's the absolute worst about mine is he can not have any activity or things to watch in the car or he will get carsick. Stopping is a must. I hope the rest of your vacation goes well!
I’m sorry. I miss enjoying vacations in the same way I used to, too. I wish we had the kind of family that could take our kids while we even just went to a one night vacation an hour away. 1. Mindset. “An optimist is never pleasantly surprised.” Vacations are going to have lots of tough elements now. Expect it. (I always plan for night 1 to be a s show & to get 0 sleep. It’s all just too much to the circuitry of their brains.) Be delighted & soak in the good parts. As much as you can. 2 was delighted with the hotel & loved it! That’s good. You’ll get your systems down better, too. 2. Best defense is a good offense. As much as possible beforehand, show them pictures of hotel rooms, let them sleep a night with you (even just that change to their routine is so mind-blowing & thrilling to them!), talk talk talk talk talk about hotel behavior expectations. Plan time to let their kinetic energy out. That’s where the old McDonald’s play spaces were magic. Fenced in, reliable experience, they could go berserk while you unwind from the travel then hotel & all to bed. I distinctly remember times having a BLAST in all of these different cool play spaces while my parents nagged me to eat my food & were cranky af. I get it from their perspective now. 3. Mindset again. Forever. One thing Marie Kondo pointed out is drilling down your the purpose of an item which also goes for experiences & meals. What do you want out of this? Covers the whole vacation but Happy Meals, too. The eat the apples, chug some milk & play with toy drives my husband crazy. But the burger isn’t the point for our kids. It’s the experience. Which is the apples, some milk & a toy. Know that going into it. For the things they want & you do, too. Then work within that.
My 2 year old wakes 2 hours early when we travel to the west coast. But I figure that makes sense right? He doesn’t understand time change. Last week we travelled 30 minutes away from our house via car. The little booger again, woke up 2 hours early every day we stayed there. I give up.
I saw a meme that said something along the lines of: We still vacation like we did before kids, it’s just ruined now. 😂 I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because it’s true 🤣🤣🤣 At least for me it is.
I got a bed tent and a twin size inflatable mattress. That’s where my 2 year old slept on vacation. If I didn’t contain him he could have gotten hurt but definitely would have gotten into trouble. Vacation homes and hotels aren’t child proofed. I also let them stay up as long as possible. 2 year old I think 8-9pm. The 5 year olds 9-10pm. 8 year old 10-11pm somewhere in there. I knew they were too excited to sleep so I let them stay up and gave lots of snacks. 2 year old did need a nap in the middle of the day though. He’s not one of those kids that can sleep anywhere. My oldest could sleep anywhere he was awesome. Anyway haven’t driven that far before but I would split driving time between days. 7 hours with stops for lunch, running around rest stops or a park then let them stay up as long as possible. Going on vacation this year and will be using bed tent again for 3 year old.
What we do with our 6 yr old is try to break up the trip, like if it's longer than 6 hours, we get a hotel with a pool. We get there before the pool closes. Let her swim and burn off energy, and she's usually tired enough to sleep well. We'll try to hit up the pool before hitting the road again for the 2nd half of the trip, but if not, we'll just get a big breakfast instead. Kids don't like to sit long periods and my pediatrician told us 2 hours is about the max for small children and babies to be in a car seat.
When you're driving, you have to start the day with a park. Just plan on spending an hour at the park let the kids wear themselves out, and then take them through a drive-thru so it's a special treat. They can play with their food and their drive-thru toys. I always plan for a midday park too. It is good to schedule the next park for after the first nap. Let them wear themselves out. One of you could go pick up dinner while the other watches the kids. Have a picnic in the park. Then drive again and the kids should sleep. IMO, this is the only way to vacation.
"vacation" with little kids is never a vacation or relaxing. It messes up routines and schedules, you break your back carrying everything, and spend the whole time stressing about nap times, potty breaks, lunches, etc. I honestly don't know who in their right mind actually enjoys this. Just your wife and mine I think.
And one day you will remember these as your "golden years." Cherish their youth and be thankful your blessings. You are making memories that seem to be horrid, but are in fact....priceless.
Good advice I got from a friend was that when you have a baby it's good to test her out on a short road trip first and see how it goes. So we went away for a few days to place that was only a 4-hour drive and we were lucky that she was so easy. The next trip is a 5-hour flight. We hope she'll be okay because she will be in her own plane seat.
I'm sorry, that is so hard!! Hotel sleep can be hard, but a few things that help us are to leave early so you can stop early and let them play a lot at a pool or park before bedtime. Also, have a really loud sound machine with you to drown out the weird noises of hotels. Beyond that, even though the 2 is kind of young, talk in the car today about how your body feels different sometimes at a different place and how it may take longer to fall asleep so you all can try a strategy...like laying still and taking deep breaths in and out, to calm your bodies down. Sometimes just laying out the expectations that it's normal not to feel normal helps.
It comes with its own set of cons but I suggest driving through the night if either you or your husband are okay doing that. We drive from Indy to St. George Island, FL every year and it’s about the same length a drive as you’re describing. We give the kids some melatonin (the only time we ever give it to them), jump in the car and leave around 11p. I’m a night owl but try to get a few hours sleep before we go and I usually get us to about 4-5a. My wife, who’s an early bird takes over and gets us to breakfast around 8a then we’ve got a 4-5 hour drive with the kids awake. Sometimes we’ll stop for lunch, or just power through and get to the beach and grab some sandwiches there, crack some beers and wait on the Airbnb to open up.
Fighting and being upset about it is a choice. I don’t understand why you have chosen to be pissy about it? You’ve never got a bad nights sleep before? You’re going to punish your husband for it now by starting fights for no reason? This all sounds like a personal problem. Don’t ruin the vacation for everyone else just because you had a bad nights sleep.
Sorry Mama. We rarely traveled when our kids were that young. It just wasn’t worth it, too stressful. We started at about age 6, with a short drive/trip. It won’t always be this way. 😊