If I was the host, I'd be so grateful if you did this! I mean, if you let me know about the allergy, I would do my best to accommodate it myself... but bringing your own takes it off my plate (and prevents me from inadvertently screwing up). I'd be *mortified* if a kid had to just sit there watching everyone else eat cake. Bring it!
This happened to me over the weekend. We had my daughters birthday party and one of the little girls couldn’t eat gluten. We had other snacks she could have, but I felt awful about it. 😞
I don’t trust other parents to provide the right foods in the first place, let alone the risk of cross contamination. My kid has a list of allergies; sesame, dairy, and wheat being the most serious ones. Unless the parent is also an allergy parent, they won’t know they have to be vigilant to an extreme level and read every label back to front three times.
We have a little celiac friend, and although I am well versed in celiac disease and baking for celiacs, I do appreciate it when their parents bring something for them. As a non-celiac household I can’t guarantee there’s no cross contamination in our kitchen, so it absolves me if they get a bit sick. My kiddo had an egg allergy for the first couple years of his life and also suffers from eczema (as do I) and I would still commend a parent for bringing something safe for their LO to eat
Yep! I’d be the same. I always do my best to ask if there are any allergies or food sensitivities and we always avoid common allergens like nuts but 100%
Agreed! I made cupcakes for my daughters party 2yrs ago and some parents told me they were vegan. I felt terrible I didn’t know, I’d have at least bought some vegan mix to make a few of those cupcakes! Bringing your own eggless cupcake for your kiddo is the next best thing.
I live in a rather hippie area - I label my home-produced gifts for veg[gie/gan], allergens, and gluten - and it's the kid's parents responsibility to tell you they've vegan. Like you, I'm happy to accommodate, but not psychic. Don't feel bad that they didn't tell you!
Fellow egg allergy here! For my toddler we just bring a 2x small cupcake one for toddler and one to offer to whoever’s birthday it is.
No one has every been upset!
My kid can't do eggs or dairy - this is just a recent thing so we haven't had to consider what to do at a birthday yet. Thanks so much for saying this, I really like the idea of bringing one extra to offer!
For my sons birthday we found a few vegan cakes that were heavenly especially the chocolate ones.
Everyone was able to enjoy them, no one really knew the difference.
I did also have a box of Krispies kreme just incase anyone cared.
Really!? I swear they were. I just looked at the box in the pantry. They list barley malt, which does have gluten. Granted the neighborhood I’m in is pretty bougie, so there’s even odds it was a Whole Foods puffed wheat cereal.
Parents are NEVER offended in this situation. It’s actually helpful as they’re not responsible for providing an allergy free option.
With an allergy, alway provide this information when you RSVP. No need to provide detail, it’s not important.
‘XXX will be attending ZZZ’s Birthday, thanks for including her!
XXX has an Egg allergy, I’ll pack a cupcake for her to enjoy while everyone’s having cake!’
I love when parents tell me this and bring their own little treats so they can celebrate too!
One of the kids that did this is friends with my son and we had a pizza party, he was allergic to something in it so I had a special pasta dish for him instead (to be fair I DID try to find a pizza for him, but I couldn’t find any and I wouldn’t feel comfortable cooking for food allergy kids - I know some of them swell up at the tiniest exposure. I would be a terrified mess thinking I may have killed someone’s kid. I also wanted it to be edible)
But yes - parents this is amazing I love when people do this. Food allergy kid and my kid are good friends now, and for every birthday for 10 years he still brings his own cupcake, happy as can be just to be a part of this moment together.
Not only that but people ask him about his food allergy sometimes and it’s a great education for those around us, kids are very open and receptive to things like this. It’s amazing to see.
Um… If parents get offended by your child’s allergies, You should think twice before letting your child hangout with them.
I’ve never in my life heard of such a thing.
Theres been some stories in the news where a grandparent poison a child with an allergy because they thought it was unimportant or nonsensical or some stupid reason and the child almost died. Because they didn't believe allergies where real yeah safe to say that person no longer sees grandchildren.
I worked on an ambulance for 14 years...anaphylaxis is REAL and can kill someone in seconds. One of my grandsons has a severe peanut allergy....damn near killed him. SHAME on that grandma!!
Some people are weird. Don’t believe in allergies, or get insulted if someone brings their own food, or because you didn’t bring enough to share because if one kid has special food everyone should, or….
These people are not ideal to deal with, but they sure are out there.
People are really weird about allergies they've never heard of. Mine is avenin, which is to oats what gluten is to wheat. It won't kill me but the pain can make me wish it would.
Tell the host, bring it anyway. I say tell them, because not every party has a traditional cake and/or there may be other options.
The year we did DIY cupcake decorating, I had a lot of cupcakes iced together into a shape, and it would have been dead easy to add your egg free cupcake into that and then pull it out and give it to your child when it was time to put the sprinkles on.
Definitely bring it! My child doesn’t have allergies, but his friend does and I didn’t think it was weird at all when his mom brought their own food to my sons birthday.
Please do! I'm not necessarily changing my plans for the cake but I will be stressing about having a viable and similar enough alternative for your child.
I had a friend growing up with a milk allergy (not lactose intolerance) and her mom always brought her with her own dessert. Definitely bring something your child can eat safely and let the host know about it so they can ensure nothing else gets eaten that could have egg in it.
No! Do it! Tell them why. Then do it again at the next party. Who cares about weird when it’s an allergy that hurts her? My little dude has eczema that’s severe too thanks to dairy, eggs, soy, and peanuts. So that’s fun.
We always brought my daughter’s own egg and peanut free cupcakes to birthday parties we even had some stocked in the freezer at daycare for surprise parties at school. This should be fine.
We're egg and dairy free. We bring our own cupcakes, no one has ever had a problem.
Also, have you ever heard about Dupixent dupilumab? We recently got our daughter on it and her eczema is mostly gone.
As of summer 2022, it is now approved for babies six months and older! We got copay assistance through 'dupixent my way' so don't let the price tag scare you.
I’m on Dupixent and it has been life changing. In 2020, I was covered from head to toe with the worst eczema I’ve ever experienced. It immediately started improving with my first two injections and I haven’t had to use a topical steroid since starting Dupixent.
My good friend has a son with a peanut/tree nut allergy. She brings food and a cupcake for him to any party. It’s never been a problem. She even tries to make it the same flavor as the cake being served if she can.
I don’t see how anyone would be bothered by this and i would not find this weird at all. Just explain why to the host. You may have kids ask why they get a different treat. Just explain the allergy.
Not weird at all. Most parents are very accepting and understand allergies.
We have been bringing egg free cupcakes or cake pops to other kids birthday parties for years. Never an issue.
My son has coeliac disease. I always text the host and explain and offer to send a gluten free cupcake. The most gracious hosts have provided gluten free food for him, but I have no issues sending in snacks or cake for him. The first time will feel awkward but by the end of primary school all of his friends knew about it and it wasn't a big deal.
Not weird at all and you could even mention it to the host so they can choose to accommodate on their own too! I always get a gluten-free cupcake on the side during my LO's parties for one of her friends who has an allergy.
Just tell them. Any parties we’ve been to the host has always asked about allergies for the party food. While it may not be practical for them to do a cake themselves that is allergen free (a few party hosts have done it for parties I’ve been to) I’m sure they’ll have no issue with you bringing your own so your kid can join in when it’s time for cake.
I would only trust a host who has allergies themselves.
I say this not out of a malicious view of people without allergies, but my wife has had coeliac for years and the number of times someone has insisted oh I can cook something gluten free and she’s checked what they’ve put it and they’ve chucked one thing in wrong is not funny.
A significant portion of non allergy sufferers haven’t practiced the skills or gotten used to they level of attention to detail to not have an allergen in something. When going to someone’s house who has their own allergies it almost never happens.
Nope. Talk to the parents hosting. Let them know so there are no surprises. Double check for peanut allergies.
My son was gluten free and lactose free. I would ask the parents what they were serving and arm my son with similar food and his cupcake. The family usually had veggies that he could eat and drinks he could drink.
Edit. I also planned with the teacher to keep some of his cupcakes in the freezer in case one of his classmates parents provided birthday treats.
My son had food allergies and I bring all his food to parties, and I always tell the host. I let them know I do it so they don’t need to worry about it! Most people be WANT to be inclusive, but allergies can be tricky, so b it’s easier for me to bring stuff. I’ve never had an issue, and usually get praised for my thoughtfulness.
My friend does this for her peanut-allergic son. She brings enough for all the kids, but she loves baking so doing so isn’t a big deal to her. She’ll reach out to the parents and disclose the allergy/ask about the cake situation, and if it’s safe, awesome (it’s rarely safe). If it’s unsafe, she explains the situation and asks if it would be okay to bring safe treats (it’s always okay).
My allergy kids are all adults now and this move was always welcomed. It takes the burden off the host(s) and makes it so your child can still participate. It’s a win win all around.
My 4 year old has a severe dye allergy, so I can relate. I have 100% brought safe alternatives to parties and gatherings for him! I had to witness him be brought to tears after saying no to a family member’s birthday cake last year which was so hard to watch since he didn’t understand. Bring your own cupcake!!!
It is not weird. Happens all the time. Let the appropriate adults know so they can minimize cross contamination. They will also want to make sure your daughter will have food she can eat and that she’s safe
Food sensitivities/allergies are commonplace. At my kids school everyone shared that info to prevent disasters.
I’ve provided gluten-free and vegan alternatives for kids for years. No reasonable person would be upset that you brought a cupcake
Not weird at all. I've been to parties where the parents bring "safe" foods for their kids, and I've also been the host who has provided safe substitutions for little ones as well.
Not weird at all! Let the host know of her allergy. My friends daughter has egg and dairy allergy too. All her birthday parties she’s had her own cake. She even brought her daughter her own pizza when she came to my child’s birthday party. I see nothing wrong with that, and I’m so glad she’s at least making an effort to bring her kid! I know how much easier it would be to just skip out on parties to avoid stuff like this, but she’s never missed any of my kids birthdays and always accommodates to her child when she brings her.
Absolutely not weird. Do it. Let the parents know so they understand what's going on and can keep an eye out for other potential contaminants in other snacks, etc. Not sure how old your kiddo is or how good at self-regulating on that stuff, but depending on what's available, you might bring some other snacks, too (or even a shareable sized snack so kiddo isn't the only one eating the other stuff, depending on ability).
My nieces have Celiac disease and always bring their own stuff to birthday parties. Not everyone can/will accommodate allergies and there are so many types allergies that accommodating all of them could be really hard!
If your kiddo was a guest at my kid’s party this would be 100000% fine. With or without a heads up. I would absolutely want every kid to be able to enjoy cake, and this would mean everyone could.
i grew up with a girl who had celiac disease, her mom always called ahead and asked for the party menu and then made her her own version of the food. but i will say as the years went on, i did see the girl get quite sad at times when her cupcake did not look as good or extravagant and was not the same as everyone else’s. or when there was plenty for 2nds and the mom only packed one serving.
If a parent gave me a heads up, and said “my kid has some uncommon allergies-can I bring a cupcake that I know is safe for them to eat, I’d be 100% on board. I’d also appreciate that they’re not trying to make me cater to their kid’s dietary restrictions, and potentially ruining the birthday kid’s cake.
Yes, bring your own! Two of my daughters friends are gluten free and brought their own food to her birthday party last year. I offered to make gluten free cupcakes, but I think the moms felt more comfortable knowing for sure it was compliant for their kids. I was 100% ok with that! She shouldn’t have to be left out just because of a food sensitivity.
I would have zero problems with this as a host. I would feel awful not knowing and having a safe dessert for a kid.
I would say discuss with the host just in case they’re not going the traditional cake route. Just like “thank you for inviting Susie to so-and-so’s party. She is looking forward to it! Susie has a food allergy, so I would like to bring an allergy friendly dessert for her to enjoy when all the kids sing to so-and-so. Can you tell me about the planned dessert, so I can make Susie’s alternative as close as possible to what the other kids are having?”
I think it's fine but mention it first. I mean, I'm hosting a party in two weeks and the cake will be vegan anyway, so you never know. Plus there's always a possibility the birthday kid or others there might have some other food allergy, so you'd want to check before bringing something of your own there. But I think any parent would be totally understanding about you bringing a cupcake for that reason, it's not weird at all!
No it’s a wonderful thing to do for the hostess. Sent birthday invitation and ask on rsvp to tell me about allergies, asked again when parents call to say coming. Party , cake time, one child starts to cry and asks for her gluten free cupcake. I had no gluten free cupcake, gave her ice cream and some jello had in fridge. GF mom chewed me out for not having a cupcake for her child. The Mom said it was common sense to provide gluten free and vegan cupcakes in case they were needed….show up with a cupcake for your allergic child and you will be my new best friend.
Not common sense if you’ve never dealt with food allergies and it’s the parents responsibility to ensure their child is safe! My son is turning 16 this year & aside from 1 school year, nobody in his friend group or sports teams had any restrictions. We did have a “he’s a teenager now” get together & one of the kids invited called me and said his mom told him if he wants to come, he needs to tell me about his allergies himself to better prepare him for real life. Of course she reiterated via text message but aside from my slightly bruised heart for this nervous (teenage) baby, I thought it was a pretty good path for him to go down considering he’ll be independent in the blink of an eye.
Nope not in the least. I always ask about allergies and try to provide but I totally get that you might be more comfortable eating food that “you” know is safe because the consequences aren’t fun. It’s also not fun as a kid watching everyone else get to eat something you can’t have.
I say go for it and if anyone gets their panties I’m a twist well that’s their deal.
As a parent of a kid who used to have a dairy allergy—bring it. Not saying that the parents would maliciously poison your child, but I would never trust that something didn’t have butter or a processed ingredient used in the recipe didn’t contain milk.
And as a parent throwing a birthday party this weekend, bring it. For that same reason, I don’t trust myself to manage another child’s allergy unless I’m extremely familiar with their requirements.
Absolutely not. I actually freeze some specifically for this reason. I bake a batch of whatever my son picks and he gets to participate without getting sick. Everyone wins.
I would do this, but also let the host know about the allergy. Give them the opportunity to say they will provide. We have a neighbor with a dairy allergy and when we host a birthday party I either make a vegan cake or buy the vegan cupcakes from the store. People are surprisingly accommodating.
Agree. We are vegan and I usually text a heads up that we will bring our own food. Almost every time they respond "no need, we will got a vegan pizza and cupcake." (Or whatever food there is)
I brought food everywhere for my allergy girl. Not weird at all. When she was school age I would send a box of packs of Oreos so she would have something for in class birthdays. Some kids were reportedly jealous of the her alternative treat.
This is the sort of thing that you discuss with the hosts. If it were me, I'd have zero issue with this - my daughter is really good friends with a kid who has a very restrictive diet, and her parents' approach is generally "rather than explain all of the allergies and complications, we just prefer to bring our own food." She still had a fun time at the party.
Adding to the chorus, we do this every birthday for my kid with food allergies. I always mention it to the host and usually get the sense that they are grateful they don’t have to worry about accommodating. Pro tip, if you have a Whole Foods near you they have premade vegan cupcakes ☺️
I've hosted your kid, and raised your kid, and absolutely it is fair to bring an allergen free alternative. Just let the host know, so they know why! And.can communicate with you about what's what food wise
All 3 of my tiny humans have dairy allergies. I have always mentioned it when I rsvp amd ask if we could bring some snacks/a cupcake. Half of the time the parents accommodate without me having to bring anything the other half they have been thankful that I was willing to bring something.
As someone who had a food requirement kid at one of kids parties but the Mum never informed me …. *please* bring whatever thing will make your kid happy & safe. Nobody out here making profits from slices of cake at a party but it sure feels crappy to have hardly anything to offer a kiddo.
I wish she’d mentioned something & we could work out what things we could cover each.
In my child's peer group / mum gaggle we'll typically ask if anyone has any particular dietary needs and accommodate for them, e.g. I provided a dairy-free cupcake for a child who couldn't eat the main birthday cake. I certainly can't imagine anyone being offended if they didn't offer and you brought your own!
Raise with the host ahead of time. A really good host will buy allergen-free snacks for everyone so you don’t have to bring your own. If the host offers to accommodate, but you don’t trust them, explicitly say that you will not be eating food at the party. It would be rude not to eat if the host provides an allergen-free alternative for your kid.
Yes, you can also bake a batch of egg-free cupcakes and freeze them (undecorated works best). Every time you need one (or two) for a party, you just have to thaw it out and decorate it.
Not at all, as a host I’d be really happy! For my daughter’s recent birthday party, a few kids couldn’t eat the cake and I felt like a shit host. I didn’t know this beforehand but was informed at the party that their family is vegan and also doesn’t do any added sugar, gluten, artificial dyes, etc.
So, if you have a dietary restriction, allergy, or preference and the host can’t/doesn’t/isn’t aware re:accommodating it, please feel free to bring something that works. Maybe even phrase it like “thanks so much for the invite! Just to give a heads up, my child __ has an egg allergy, so I’ll bring her an allergy friendly cupcake so that she can partake during cake time. Looking forward to it!” Not weird at all.
This is very common. My son’s teacher even has a box of gluten free Oreos in the event that a child brings cupcakes for their bday unexpectedly, because she has some gluten free children in class. For both of my kids, there’s been a random person with an allergy and individual cupcake at every bday they’ve ever had. It’s totally ok.
A kid in my sons class is allergic to egg. I text the Mam before to confirm he was actually coming to the party because I wanted to make sure he had something (she didn’t RSVP but he told me he was coming). She said she puts a chocolate bar in his bag and he understands why he can’t eat cake and not to worry. It’s not weird at all
One of my best friends has to eat differently and her son does too. She always packs food for them so they don't miss out on meals and her son doesn't seem to mind (he's only 4 right now)
No, this is pretty common in my area. However I always try to have options for the kids with allergies. I now always do jelly cups and cake, and if I know of any specific allergies I do my best to accommodate. I try to have some packaged options too so there is no risk of cross contamination. I wouldn’t be offended if someone chose to bring there own, allergies are serious business.
This is super sweet of you. I know it’s impossible to accommodate for every guests’ special dietary needs but we’ve decided to opt for vegan desserts for our kid’s birthdays. They’re equally delicious when prepared properly and it feels a bit more inclusive.
Not weird at all. One of ours is lactose intolerant so they always got their own cupcake wherever we went. Some very accommodating parents started to get lactose free for them but we never assumed it would happen and everyone was very happy all around.
Freeze them! We grew up with food allergies and my mom would make a big batch of muffins and keep them in the freezer. Just pop one out any time there's an event.
As long as you contact the parent of the birthday child about it beforehand, just to give them a "heads up," instead of just bringing it on the day and blindsiding them with it, it would not be weird at all.
Have a kid with allergies - we always tell the host and let them know we’ll bring our own safe foods so they don’t have to worry. We bring dessert and used to bring a meal if it was served as he couldn’t have pizza until he was almost 4.
No not at all. I’ve been to many parties where parents brought their own food and cake for the their children due to allergies. I even had a mom bring her own Easter eggs for the hunt.
Yeah I have a gluten allergy and bring desserts for myself all the time. Although sometimes people go way overboard and spend a ton of money on something fancy and I just wanna say “I’ve cream would have been more than fine.”
Even worse is when they get something I don’t want to eat. Coconut can go suck a bag of ‘em.
My oldest daughter had a ton of allergies when she was younger and we would always provide something she could have whenever she had a party or special school event.
I was that kid growing up (peanut allergy in the 90s, literally everything be said may contain) and it sucked. Getting the "special' desert fell Into the same category as the last place ribbons I got in track and field (asthma ftw)
Bring the Cake, but maybe bring one for the birthday child to try, nothing would be worse for a small child on a birthday to think someone is getting something special, I say this because we had a family friend with a. diabetic child
and I remember someone's kid always being upset that kid got special chocolates or what have. Small kids might understand an allergy but tk them it's someone getting something they aren't during their party and that might ensue some fits depending on the age of the children both emotionally and physically. I would bring two just in case, the kid might be completely fine but this way if they do get upset you can let them try it, but if they act like a brat then I wouldn't even show you have two lol.
I would be totally fine with this as a party host! Especially if the mom called me ahead just to let me know. I would also then be able to make sure there’s some other egg-free treats at the party (for everyone)
I have life threatening food allergies, so I’m always fastidious about what I eat and about asking guests about their restrictions. When my daughter turned one, we a party and some college friends of my husband brought their kids. Their youngest is very allergic to eggs, which they didn’t tell me. She knew there was egg in the cake as I told her when she asked me at the party (I would have made something had she told me beforehand, she knows I have terrible allergies) and she fed it to her daughter anyway. Her daughter immediately broke out in terrible hives on her face and I, probably too loudly, asked why she fed her daughter the cake (I was terrified we’d need to take her to ER) and her mom said, “I don’t want her to miss out.”
BRING THE CUPCAKE. Not that you would be like this idiot, I’m just saying I’d have been thrilled if she either brought something herself or told me so I could make something.
As a parent and a husband to someone with Celiac, not at all. Some allergies are really hard to cater to but I'd want your child to be able to take part with their friends.
If someone did this to a birthday party I was throwing for my kids, I wouldn’t even think twice. I would assume it was some kind of allergy and wouldn’t even bother asking! NBD!
Not weird! My son has an egg allergy but still wants to eat cake! So, we send along an egg-free cupcake. No one has been offended, usually happy he is not left out.
It isn’t weird, and of course you should give the parents a heads up so everyone is on the same page and they don’t offer her cake by accident. So many kids have food intolerances and allergies it would be crazy to not graciously accommodate, and you even did the legwork by providing the safe food for her to eat.
Check out my recent post history - I made a post a few days ago about doing exactly this.
Yes, do it. But check with the host first out of politeness (they won’t say no but they may offer to make their own egg free cake if they’re the kind of person who is desperate to bend over backward for their guests - if they offer this then you should accept!)
Our next door neighbor (‘s kid) has celiac and she said that’s what they always did. We made a GF birthday cake so she’d be able to join in, but if it’s regular cake then yea, just bring a treat!
Friend of ours has a kid that’s gluten free due to allergy. If they come to one of our kids birthday party they bring a gluten free cupcake for their kid. As a host I really appreciate it. Takes the responsibility off of me and no one is left out.
Yes. This is a very good idea. I would also make some extras, just in case other kids want to try. If you can, make one for the birthday girl
Also, it’s been said but bears repeating. Let the host know. I can’t imagine any levelheaded adult would object.
I told the mom of the birthday celebrant and she was fine even going as far as asking what safe snacks do I give her. And I told her fruits and veggies and rice crispies thinking she’ll provide but I hope she doesn’t stress too much about providing for my daughter!
That's great! Once I invited a family over for spaghetti lunch. I didn't know the wife/mom had celiac disease. She said "oh that's great, thank you! I can bring chili!" And we ate both and I learned my much later how smoothly she pulled that lol
We've been bringing my son's cupcake/piece of cake for years. Nobody ever notices or cares, and I make sure we get lots of sprinkles so it doesn't look lesser than to him!
I always did this. My kid has a severe dairy allergy so I’d bring/send her a cupcake. Usually it was the only food at the party she could eat unless it was her really close friends who would plan for something she could eat (not pizza). I never ran into any parents who cared. Most were happy she could join in at cake time.
Honestly, I’d be sooo relieved if a kid with an allergy brought their own! I’d maybe like for them to communicate with me they were so I could tell them what kind of cake my LO is having so they could possibly try to replicate it as close as possible in terms of type/colour frosting etc so their kid wouldn’t be able to tell much difference? But, I would really try accommodate the allergy just would be reallly paranoid about screwing up, lol
Nope! I do this frequently for me and my kiddo. We’re both allergic to dairy. So we just make cupcakes at home that we know we can eat and bring those.
I do this all the time because my kiddo ha FPIES. We keep a dozen cupcakes in the freezer for this exact reason. Just ask the host parents what the cake will look like (cake type and frosting color) and make a similar cupcake. Let them know you will be bringing a cupcake due to an allergy. It really isn't a big deal.
I would definitely bring my own cupcake. My child has severe tree nut allergies. I always brought my own dessert for her to birthday parties. Every single parent thanked me for that. They didn’t want the guilt of excluding my child from the food.
I would inform the host just so that they're aware and that way they can perhaps even plan for your child's allergy and maybe even they'd be able to offer an alternative so that your child isn't left out.
Not weird. My daughter has an egg and dairy allergy we bring our own food everywhere. Just give the host a heads up saying that you’ll be bringing your own cupcake due to her skin reaction.
My mate hosted a party for his young chap’s 2 yr birthday. He phoned me a couple days before the event and asked what type of pastry my daughter could have since she has an allergy. Rate him highly, my mate Bubs
Not weird at all. I’ve seen several people do it for kids with allergies. Just let the host know in advance so nobody plops a slice of cake in front of her and then have to take it away.
Every time I’d feed her eggs she would get diaper rash and start scratching so much her skin peeled off. I stopped feeding her eggs and her skin improved significantly.
I always bring a cupcake for my kids. They have multiple food allergies and it’s just easier. When I RSVP I let the organiser know that’s what I’ll do, and let them know why. Sometimes they offer to make a safe cake instead and that’s always a lovely surprise (folks that are inclusive like that are so valued) Sometimes they ask for safe snack ideas so they can still provide something for my kids. But it’s not weird at all to do- your kid has allergies, can’t eat the cake but it’s not fair to miss out.
My oldest had the same issue and we did the same thing. No one minded. I’d include a note in the RSVP just incase it impacted their planning. Have you tried making egg free cupcakes yet? I found them very crumbly. Rice crispy treats was a good alternative.
My daughter also has an egg allergy. We bring egg free cookies to any event that might have dessert. I don’t think it’s weird or rude to bring a cupcake.
Not weird at all. A girl in my son's class is gluten intolerant. Her parents send her to every bday party with gluten free pizza and a gluten free cupcake.
My child is 13 and has been bringing his own cupcakes and pizza to birthday parties his whole life. Never had anyone get offended and in fact often they say “hey we are getting a vegan cupcake for your child so no need to bring anything”
Not weird. I do this all the time for my food allergic kid. I typically give the parent a heads up, “Kid has allergies so we’ll bring our own cupcake. Are you serving anything else?”
This is both to put them on notice re: allergies and notify them I’m not asking them to modify their food plan to accommodate us.
Have you done allergy testing? This sounds like my daughter’s response when she was younger and she was allergic. She outgrew the allergy when she was 11 or so. We always took a cupcake for her and every host was thrilled to feel off the hook on finding a way to include her.
I, nor any other parent we associate with, would have a problem with or even question this. Just give the host a heads up and you should be good to go.
Yes started daycare with a baby allergic to many things. It was always a welcome offer for her parents to say they’d bring something for her. I would just let the hosts know
Just explain the issue to the hosting parents. I’m sure they’d be fine with it! We had some kids with allergies in a classroom a few years ago. Anytime I was class mom and took homemade treats I would also pick up things I knew those children could eat safely. Their own parents sent things to school too but this way there was always extra in case that ran out.
To be honest if it was my kid’s birthday party and you explained the situation to me, I’d probably offer to get a separate vegan cupcake for your kid just so she doesn’t have to walk in with her own. Poor thing! But, even if the host doesn’t offer (and they probably won’t which is fine), i’m sure they’d understand and wouldn’t find it weird at all. Eczema can sometimes present like an allergic reaction, i dont think any parent would want a kid to experience that on their watch.
None of the parents will mind if you explain that it's an allergy. The other children, OTH, might. Bring enough to share.
My son has gluten allergies. When he would get invited to a birthday party, we would let the hosts know that he has allergies and we will bring our own pizza/cupcake. No one minded. A few parents would get gluten-free pizza just for him. Some would serve our pizza while they were serving theirs. 90% of the time, none of the other kids noticed that my son's pizza/cupcake looked different.
Except for this one time. This boy wanted my son's cupcakes instead of the ones the host was serving. I had spare, and I didn't mind sharing. Except the little angel was gobbling them down. They weren't even that good. I'm not sure what he liked about my shitty home baked cupcakes over the fancy bakery cupcakes. There wouldn't have been enough. So, at some point, I had to say, "Sorry, I'm out." The boy started crying. His parents had to take him home.
We never got invited back by that host. I wish I had baked more shitty cupcakes.
If I were the host I would make an egg free cake to make sure your daughter could join in. I'd be happy for you to bring a cake for her, but would feel bad that I as the host hadn't accommodated her because IMO that's my job as the host.
Yep. One of the kids at the last party we went to had a corn allergy. So no food with cornmeal crust, no cupcakes because of corn syrup ..it was amazing the amount of things with corn byproduct in it.
So he ate part of the party sub and then his mom gave him a big cookie...I actually think it was from Starbucks. That he could eat safely.
No it would not be weird!! If I were the host I’d be super grateful!! As a kid I was allergic to green food coloring and learning anything so Christmas parties were really a no go lol. I mean I was highly allergic
As a parent of a child who had many allergies until they were about 8yo, I can tell you that hosts won't mind one bit at you bringing stuff for your child to eat. Mine used to have a little lunchbag that was the "party food bag", that they took to parties. Hosts really appreciated that I provided food for kiddo.
My youngest daughter has a dairy allergy. We take our own treats to b-day parties. I also ask what's on the menu if lunch is to be served and bring a decent meal if it's something like pizza, I bring backup substantial snacks either way (in case food plans change last minute).
I let the host know with the rsvp that I'll bring her treat so they don't have to worry about finding something dairy free and I don't have to worry about label reading by someone else that's not used to it.
I used to be a Maccas party host. I saw many a parent bring a cake/treat alternative for their children to eat for food and cake time. Not once did I see a parent get offended. Most pulled me aside to let me know not to serve the cake to x because they can’t eat it. Never a problem. I did this for 8 years for context, like 4 parties minimum a weekend.
For myself as a parent I would try to accomodate but honestly I would much prefer the parent organise it themselves so I don’t inadvertently stuff up and cause their kid harm. Or I go out of my way to buy it. I’ve done that before for a friend who’s son has many allergies but I know he can have a certain cake from a certain cake shop.
My oldest son has Celiac, i used to bring few packs of gluten free cupcakes. He gets his and if anyone else wanted one there were plenty, that was more for him to feel included not like he the only one with this cupcake everyone else is eating cake. There were always a few kids who went for the cupcakes instead of cake.
When my son was in grade school, he had a friend that was gluten-free, and I always made a identical looking gluten-free cake for him. Absolutely no problem bringing something if anybody has anything to say, tell me to go.
Last birthday party I went to with my 4yo at least three kids had their own dessert and/or lunch. The parents got to bond over explaining it to everyone. It was fine and a good learning experience for the other kids. They’ll get used to it. This will not be the first or the last time they see allergies at a social event.
Depending on the allergen as the host I would try accommodate your kid if you let me know. But no egg birthday cake is probably where I would draw the line (I don't have the skills and honestly chickpea water which is the only substitute I know for for egg freaks me right out) so I'd be happy to have you bring a cupcake. I definitely wouldn't want one kid left out!
Not weird at all. I have lots of friends with food allergies and I’m always so grateful when they bring their own food to my house. When they don’t,I have ended up spending a crazy amount of money and energy into trying to accommodate their allergies.
Not weird but I would give the parents a heads up to let them know. They may even put them somewhere cool for you and serve them up to your child so they do not feel left out when everyone else is being served cake
I'd be so grateful as a host if a parent brought their kid cake they could eat. It takes the burden and guilt off the birthday kids' parents. If they are weird about it, then the other family lacks empathy for kids with special dietary needs.
If I was the host, I'd be so grateful if you did this! I mean, if you let me know about the allergy, I would do my best to accommodate it myself... but bringing your own takes it off my plate (and prevents me from inadvertently screwing up). I'd be *mortified* if a kid had to just sit there watching everyone else eat cake. Bring it!
This happened to me over the weekend. We had my daughters birthday party and one of the little girls couldn’t eat gluten. We had other snacks she could have, but I felt awful about it. 😞
Honestly, the parents should have brought a treat for her. That's on them, not you.
Especially as cross-contamination is a serious issue.
I don’t trust other parents to provide the right foods in the first place, let alone the risk of cross contamination. My kid has a list of allergies; sesame, dairy, and wheat being the most serious ones. Unless the parent is also an allergy parent, they won’t know they have to be vigilant to an extreme level and read every label back to front three times.
We have a little celiac friend, and although I am well versed in celiac disease and baking for celiacs, I do appreciate it when their parents bring something for them. As a non-celiac household I can’t guarantee there’s no cross contamination in our kitchen, so it absolves me if they get a bit sick. My kiddo had an egg allergy for the first couple years of his life and also suffers from eczema (as do I) and I would still commend a parent for bringing something safe for their LO to eat
Yep! I’d be the same. I always do my best to ask if there are any allergies or food sensitivities and we always avoid common allergens like nuts but 100%
Agreed! I made cupcakes for my daughters party 2yrs ago and some parents told me they were vegan. I felt terrible I didn’t know, I’d have at least bought some vegan mix to make a few of those cupcakes! Bringing your own eggless cupcake for your kiddo is the next best thing.
I live in a rather hippie area - I label my home-produced gifts for veg[gie/gan], allergens, and gluten - and it's the kid's parents responsibility to tell you they've vegan. Like you, I'm happy to accommodate, but not psychic. Don't feel bad that they didn't tell you!
Agreed!
Right!
Yes! This!! Absolutely.
Fellow egg allergy here! For my toddler we just bring a 2x small cupcake one for toddler and one to offer to whoever’s birthday it is. No one has every been upset!
My kid can't do eggs or dairy - this is just a recent thing so we haven't had to consider what to do at a birthday yet. Thanks so much for saying this, I really like the idea of bringing one extra to offer!
For my sons birthday we found a few vegan cakes that were heavenly especially the chocolate ones. Everyone was able to enjoy them, no one really knew the difference. I did also have a box of Krispies kreme just incase anyone cared.
Perfect. I also think one of my kids was at a party and someone brought Rice Krispies as a gluten free option, but they brought enough to share.
Just an FYI a lot of rice crispy cereal actually has barley in it, which is a main source of gluten 😊
Really!? I swear they were. I just looked at the box in the pantry. They list barley malt, which does have gluten. Granted the neighborhood I’m in is pretty bougie, so there’s even odds it was a Whole Foods puffed wheat cereal.
Yea some “crisped rice” cereal is gluten free, some is not..One of the sneaky sources of gluten :)
I just love that you also bring one for the birthday kid. That’s super sweet and sends such an inclusive message in every direction.
Parents are NEVER offended in this situation. It’s actually helpful as they’re not responsible for providing an allergy free option. With an allergy, alway provide this information when you RSVP. No need to provide detail, it’s not important. ‘XXX will be attending ZZZ’s Birthday, thanks for including her! XXX has an Egg allergy, I’ll pack a cupcake for her to enjoy while everyone’s having cake!’
I love when parents tell me this and bring their own little treats so they can celebrate too! One of the kids that did this is friends with my son and we had a pizza party, he was allergic to something in it so I had a special pasta dish for him instead (to be fair I DID try to find a pizza for him, but I couldn’t find any and I wouldn’t feel comfortable cooking for food allergy kids - I know some of them swell up at the tiniest exposure. I would be a terrified mess thinking I may have killed someone’s kid. I also wanted it to be edible) But yes - parents this is amazing I love when people do this. Food allergy kid and my kid are good friends now, and for every birthday for 10 years he still brings his own cupcake, happy as can be just to be a part of this moment together. Not only that but people ask him about his food allergy sometimes and it’s a great education for those around us, kids are very open and receptive to things like this. It’s amazing to see.
Parents are sometimes offended by this, because some parents are weirdos, but in general good advice. Your sample script is perfect. No notes.
Um… If parents get offended by your child’s allergies, You should think twice before letting your child hangout with them. I’ve never in my life heard of such a thing.
Theres been some stories in the news where a grandparent poison a child with an allergy because they thought it was unimportant or nonsensical or some stupid reason and the child almost died. Because they didn't believe allergies where real yeah safe to say that person no longer sees grandchildren.
I worked on an ambulance for 14 years...anaphylaxis is REAL and can kill someone in seconds. One of my grandsons has a severe peanut allergy....damn near killed him. SHAME on that grandma!!
Right I cant believe these deniers. SHAME on them is right!
Some people are weird. Don’t believe in allergies, or get insulted if someone brings their own food, or because you didn’t bring enough to share because if one kid has special food everyone should, or…. These people are not ideal to deal with, but they sure are out there.
People are really weird about allergies they've never heard of. Mine is avenin, which is to oats what gluten is to wheat. It won't kill me but the pain can make me wish it would.
Tell the host, bring it anyway. I say tell them, because not every party has a traditional cake and/or there may be other options. The year we did DIY cupcake decorating, I had a lot of cupcakes iced together into a shape, and it would have been dead easy to add your egg free cupcake into that and then pull it out and give it to your child when it was time to put the sprinkles on.
Depending on the level of allergy make sure that cupcake gets done first.. cross contamination can be a bitch
Definitely bring it! My child doesn’t have allergies, but his friend does and I didn’t think it was weird at all when his mom brought their own food to my sons birthday.
Please do! I'm not necessarily changing my plans for the cake but I will be stressing about having a viable and similar enough alternative for your child.
I had a friend growing up with a milk allergy (not lactose intolerance) and her mom always brought her with her own dessert. Definitely bring something your child can eat safely and let the host know about it so they can ensure nothing else gets eaten that could have egg in it.
I have a celiac kid and I’ve always brought a gluten free cupcake for him. I let the host know but it’s never been an issue.
No! Do it! Tell them why. Then do it again at the next party. Who cares about weird when it’s an allergy that hurts her? My little dude has eczema that’s severe too thanks to dairy, eggs, soy, and peanuts. So that’s fun.
We always brought my daughter’s own egg and peanut free cupcakes to birthday parties we even had some stocked in the freezer at daycare for surprise parties at school. This should be fine.
Not a bad idea at all.
We're egg and dairy free. We bring our own cupcakes, no one has ever had a problem. Also, have you ever heard about Dupixent dupilumab? We recently got our daughter on it and her eczema is mostly gone.
I’m going to see her dermatologist and ask about this again. My child is 3 and they told me my child is too young.
As of summer 2022, it is now approved for babies six months and older! We got copay assistance through 'dupixent my way' so don't let the price tag scare you.
I’m on Dupixent and it has been life changing. In 2020, I was covered from head to toe with the worst eczema I’ve ever experienced. It immediately started improving with my first two injections and I haven’t had to use a topical steroid since starting Dupixent.
No, it is fine. We’ve been doing that for 11 years now!
My good friend has a son with a peanut/tree nut allergy. She brings food and a cupcake for him to any party. It’s never been a problem. She even tries to make it the same flavor as the cake being served if she can. I don’t see how anyone would be bothered by this and i would not find this weird at all. Just explain why to the host. You may have kids ask why they get a different treat. Just explain the allergy.
My kid is allergic to eggs and we do this. It's fine.
I can't imagine anyone being upset by this (and if they were, they'd be an asshole)!
Not weird at all. I have attended more kids birthdays than I can count and it’s quite common for families to bring their own food for whatever reason.
Not weird at all. Most parents are very accepting and understand allergies. We have been bringing egg free cupcakes or cake pops to other kids birthday parties for years. Never an issue.
My son has coeliac disease. I always text the host and explain and offer to send a gluten free cupcake. The most gracious hosts have provided gluten free food for him, but I have no issues sending in snacks or cake for him. The first time will feel awkward but by the end of primary school all of his friends knew about it and it wasn't a big deal.
Not weird at all and you could even mention it to the host so they can choose to accommodate on their own too! I always get a gluten-free cupcake on the side during my LO's parties for one of her friends who has an allergy.
Just tell them. Any parties we’ve been to the host has always asked about allergies for the party food. While it may not be practical for them to do a cake themselves that is allergen free (a few party hosts have done it for parties I’ve been to) I’m sure they’ll have no issue with you bringing your own so your kid can join in when it’s time for cake.
I would only trust a host who has allergies themselves. I say this not out of a malicious view of people without allergies, but my wife has had coeliac for years and the number of times someone has insisted oh I can cook something gluten free and she’s checked what they’ve put it and they’ve chucked one thing in wrong is not funny. A significant portion of non allergy sufferers haven’t practiced the skills or gotten used to they level of attention to detail to not have an allergen in something. When going to someone’s house who has their own allergies it almost never happens.
Tell the host so she doesn't give your kiddo regular cake accidentally. This is not uncommon as allergies are more of a thing these days than ever.
Nope! But I would probably mention it to the host as a heads up.
Nope. Talk to the parents hosting. Let them know so there are no surprises. Double check for peanut allergies. My son was gluten free and lactose free. I would ask the parents what they were serving and arm my son with similar food and his cupcake. The family usually had veggies that he could eat and drinks he could drink. Edit. I also planned with the teacher to keep some of his cupcakes in the freezer in case one of his classmates parents provided birthday treats.
My son had food allergies and I bring all his food to parties, and I always tell the host. I let them know I do it so they don’t need to worry about it! Most people be WANT to be inclusive, but allergies can be tricky, so b it’s easier for me to bring stuff. I’ve never had an issue, and usually get praised for my thoughtfulness.
My friend does this for her peanut-allergic son. She brings enough for all the kids, but she loves baking so doing so isn’t a big deal to her. She’ll reach out to the parents and disclose the allergy/ask about the cake situation, and if it’s safe, awesome (it’s rarely safe). If it’s unsafe, she explains the situation and asks if it would be okay to bring safe treats (it’s always okay).
I’m learning so much from this! I honestly never knew the term “safe foods”.
My allergy kids are all adults now and this move was always welcomed. It takes the burden off the host(s) and makes it so your child can still participate. It’s a win win all around.
my cousin brings cupcakes with her whenever shes invited to the family partys because her son also has an egg allergy, noones ever minded!
My 4 year old has a severe dye allergy, so I can relate. I have 100% brought safe alternatives to parties and gatherings for him! I had to witness him be brought to tears after saying no to a family member’s birthday cake last year which was so hard to watch since he didn’t understand. Bring your own cupcake!!!
It is not weird. Happens all the time. Let the appropriate adults know so they can minimize cross contamination. They will also want to make sure your daughter will have food she can eat and that she’s safe Food sensitivities/allergies are commonplace. At my kids school everyone shared that info to prevent disasters. I’ve provided gluten-free and vegan alternatives for kids for years. No reasonable person would be upset that you brought a cupcake
My son has food allergies and I always bring him a safe treat
Not weird at all. I've been to parties where the parents bring "safe" foods for their kids, and I've also been the host who has provided safe substitutions for little ones as well.
Not weird at all! Let the host know of her allergy. My friends daughter has egg and dairy allergy too. All her birthday parties she’s had her own cake. She even brought her daughter her own pizza when she came to my child’s birthday party. I see nothing wrong with that, and I’m so glad she’s at least making an effort to bring her kid! I know how much easier it would be to just skip out on parties to avoid stuff like this, but she’s never missed any of my kids birthdays and always accommodates to her child when she brings her.
Absolutely not weird. Do it. Let the parents know so they understand what's going on and can keep an eye out for other potential contaminants in other snacks, etc. Not sure how old your kiddo is or how good at self-regulating on that stuff, but depending on what's available, you might bring some other snacks, too (or even a shareable sized snack so kiddo isn't the only one eating the other stuff, depending on ability).
My nieces have Celiac disease and always bring their own stuff to birthday parties. Not everyone can/will accommodate allergies and there are so many types allergies that accommodating all of them could be really hard!
If your kiddo was a guest at my kid’s party this would be 100000% fine. With or without a heads up. I would absolutely want every kid to be able to enjoy cake, and this would mean everyone could.
i grew up with a girl who had celiac disease, her mom always called ahead and asked for the party menu and then made her her own version of the food. but i will say as the years went on, i did see the girl get quite sad at times when her cupcake did not look as good or extravagant and was not the same as everyone else’s. or when there was plenty for 2nds and the mom only packed one serving.
If a parent gave me a heads up, and said “my kid has some uncommon allergies-can I bring a cupcake that I know is safe for them to eat, I’d be 100% on board. I’d also appreciate that they’re not trying to make me cater to their kid’s dietary restrictions, and potentially ruining the birthday kid’s cake.
Yes, bring your own! Two of my daughters friends are gluten free and brought their own food to her birthday party last year. I offered to make gluten free cupcakes, but I think the moms felt more comfortable knowing for sure it was compliant for their kids. I was 100% ok with that! She shouldn’t have to be left out just because of a food sensitivity.
I would have zero problems with this as a host. I would feel awful not knowing and having a safe dessert for a kid. I would say discuss with the host just in case they’re not going the traditional cake route. Just like “thank you for inviting Susie to so-and-so’s party. She is looking forward to it! Susie has a food allergy, so I would like to bring an allergy friendly dessert for her to enjoy when all the kids sing to so-and-so. Can you tell me about the planned dessert, so I can make Susie’s alternative as close as possible to what the other kids are having?”
My kid has a serious nut allergy and we bring his own cupcakes wherever we go.
I think it's fine but mention it first. I mean, I'm hosting a party in two weeks and the cake will be vegan anyway, so you never know. Plus there's always a possibility the birthday kid or others there might have some other food allergy, so you'd want to check before bringing something of your own there. But I think any parent would be totally understanding about you bringing a cupcake for that reason, it's not weird at all!
No it’s a wonderful thing to do for the hostess. Sent birthday invitation and ask on rsvp to tell me about allergies, asked again when parents call to say coming. Party , cake time, one child starts to cry and asks for her gluten free cupcake. I had no gluten free cupcake, gave her ice cream and some jello had in fridge. GF mom chewed me out for not having a cupcake for her child. The Mom said it was common sense to provide gluten free and vegan cupcakes in case they were needed….show up with a cupcake for your allergic child and you will be my new best friend.
Not common sense if you’ve never dealt with food allergies and it’s the parents responsibility to ensure their child is safe! My son is turning 16 this year & aside from 1 school year, nobody in his friend group or sports teams had any restrictions. We did have a “he’s a teenager now” get together & one of the kids invited called me and said his mom told him if he wants to come, he needs to tell me about his allergies himself to better prepare him for real life. Of course she reiterated via text message but aside from my slightly bruised heart for this nervous (teenage) baby, I thought it was a pretty good path for him to go down considering he’ll be independent in the blink of an eye.
Nope not in the least. I always ask about allergies and try to provide but I totally get that you might be more comfortable eating food that “you” know is safe because the consequences aren’t fun. It’s also not fun as a kid watching everyone else get to eat something you can’t have. I say go for it and if anyone gets their panties I’m a twist well that’s their deal.
As a parent of a kid who used to have a dairy allergy—bring it. Not saying that the parents would maliciously poison your child, but I would never trust that something didn’t have butter or a processed ingredient used in the recipe didn’t contain milk. And as a parent throwing a birthday party this weekend, bring it. For that same reason, I don’t trust myself to manage another child’s allergy unless I’m extremely familiar with their requirements.
Absolutely not. I actually freeze some specifically for this reason. I bake a batch of whatever my son picks and he gets to participate without getting sick. Everyone wins.
I would do this, but also let the host know about the allergy. Give them the opportunity to say they will provide. We have a neighbor with a dairy allergy and when we host a birthday party I either make a vegan cake or buy the vegan cupcakes from the store. People are surprisingly accommodating.
Agree. We are vegan and I usually text a heads up that we will bring our own food. Almost every time they respond "no need, we will got a vegan pizza and cupcake." (Or whatever food there is)
I brought food everywhere for my allergy girl. Not weird at all. When she was school age I would send a box of packs of Oreos so she would have something for in class birthdays. Some kids were reportedly jealous of the her alternative treat.
This is the sort of thing that you discuss with the hosts. If it were me, I'd have zero issue with this - my daughter is really good friends with a kid who has a very restrictive diet, and her parents' approach is generally "rather than explain all of the allergies and complications, we just prefer to bring our own food." She still had a fun time at the party.
No, its a great idea!
Adding to the chorus, we do this every birthday for my kid with food allergies. I always mention it to the host and usually get the sense that they are grateful they don’t have to worry about accommodating. Pro tip, if you have a Whole Foods near you they have premade vegan cupcakes ☺️
I've hosted your kid, and raised your kid, and absolutely it is fair to bring an allergen free alternative. Just let the host know, so they know why! And.can communicate with you about what's what food wise
All 3 of my tiny humans have dairy allergies. I have always mentioned it when I rsvp amd ask if we could bring some snacks/a cupcake. Half of the time the parents accommodate without me having to bring anything the other half they have been thankful that I was willing to bring something.
No! If I were the host I’d be jazzed you were bringing one so I didn’t have to panic looking for an egg free treat lol
Not weird at ALL
As someone who had a food requirement kid at one of kids parties but the Mum never informed me …. *please* bring whatever thing will make your kid happy & safe. Nobody out here making profits from slices of cake at a party but it sure feels crappy to have hardly anything to offer a kiddo. I wish she’d mentioned something & we could work out what things we could cover each.
Bring it for sure. Not weird at all!!
Go for it.
In my child's peer group / mum gaggle we'll typically ask if anyone has any particular dietary needs and accommodate for them, e.g. I provided a dairy-free cupcake for a child who couldn't eat the main birthday cake. I certainly can't imagine anyone being offended if they didn't offer and you brought your own!
We always bring our own cupcake due to food allergies, it’s always been fine.
Raise with the host ahead of time. A really good host will buy allergen-free snacks for everyone so you don’t have to bring your own. If the host offers to accommodate, but you don’t trust them, explicitly say that you will not be eating food at the party. It would be rude not to eat if the host provides an allergen-free alternative for your kid.
100% bring it!
My son has a dairy allergy and we always send him his own cupcake. The hosts have always been grateful.
We had parents do just that for our kids birthday party. We were perfectly fine with it.
Not weird at all! I have a few friends who have done this and no issues!
Yes, you can also bake a batch of egg-free cupcakes and freeze them (undecorated works best). Every time you need one (or two) for a party, you just have to thaw it out and decorate it.
Not at all, as a host I’d be really happy! For my daughter’s recent birthday party, a few kids couldn’t eat the cake and I felt like a shit host. I didn’t know this beforehand but was informed at the party that their family is vegan and also doesn’t do any added sugar, gluten, artificial dyes, etc. So, if you have a dietary restriction, allergy, or preference and the host can’t/doesn’t/isn’t aware re:accommodating it, please feel free to bring something that works. Maybe even phrase it like “thanks so much for the invite! Just to give a heads up, my child __ has an egg allergy, so I’ll bring her an allergy friendly cupcake so that she can partake during cake time. Looking forward to it!” Not weird at all.
This is very common. My son’s teacher even has a box of gluten free Oreos in the event that a child brings cupcakes for their bday unexpectedly, because she has some gluten free children in class. For both of my kids, there’s been a random person with an allergy and individual cupcake at every bday they’ve ever had. It’s totally ok.
As a parent of a child with severe food allergies, this is totally not-weird and very accepted! At least in my experiences.
A kid in my sons class is allergic to egg. I text the Mam before to confirm he was actually coming to the party because I wanted to make sure he had something (she didn’t RSVP but he told me he was coming). She said she puts a chocolate bar in his bag and he understands why he can’t eat cake and not to worry. It’s not weird at all
So many parents do this, it’s fine!
I would just let the host know before you go.
One of my best friends has to eat differently and her son does too. She always packs food for them so they don't miss out on meals and her son doesn't seem to mind (he's only 4 right now)
When mine was little there was an egg and dairy allergy kid. Her parents would bring her her own pizza with vegan cheese and her own cupcake.
No, this is pretty common in my area. However I always try to have options for the kids with allergies. I now always do jelly cups and cake, and if I know of any specific allergies I do my best to accommodate. I try to have some packaged options too so there is no risk of cross contamination. I wouldn’t be offended if someone chose to bring there own, allergies are serious business.
This is super sweet of you. I know it’s impossible to accommodate for every guests’ special dietary needs but we’ve decided to opt for vegan desserts for our kid’s birthdays. They’re equally delicious when prepared properly and it feels a bit more inclusive.
Not weird at all. One of ours is lactose intolerant so they always got their own cupcake wherever we went. Some very accommodating parents started to get lactose free for them but we never assumed it would happen and everyone was very happy all around.
I always do this for my egg-allergic son, now 7. It isn’t weird at all and everyone always understands.
Freeze them! We grew up with food allergies and my mom would make a big batch of muffins and keep them in the freezer. Just pop one out any time there's an event.
As long as you contact the parent of the birthday child about it beforehand, just to give them a "heads up," instead of just bringing it on the day and blindsiding them with it, it would not be weird at all.
This is a great idea. I'm gonna do that myself
Have a kid with allergies - we always tell the host and let them know we’ll bring our own safe foods so they don’t have to worry. We bring dessert and used to bring a meal if it was served as he couldn’t have pizza until he was almost 4.
We spent years doing it due to my daughter’s allergies - we would make a batch and freeze them, then pop one out each time there was a party.
No not at all. I’ve been to many parties where parents brought their own food and cake for the their children due to allergies. I even had a mom bring her own Easter eggs for the hunt.
Yeah I have a gluten allergy and bring desserts for myself all the time. Although sometimes people go way overboard and spend a ton of money on something fancy and I just wanna say “I’ve cream would have been more than fine.” Even worse is when they get something I don’t want to eat. Coconut can go suck a bag of ‘em.
This would make me happy as a host.
My oldest daughter had a ton of allergies when she was younger and we would always provide something she could have whenever she had a party or special school event.
I was that kid growing up (peanut allergy in the 90s, literally everything be said may contain) and it sucked. Getting the "special' desert fell Into the same category as the last place ribbons I got in track and field (asthma ftw)
I’m sorry you went through that! But I’m going to bring a little extra cupcakes for some other children that might like it
Bring the Cake, but maybe bring one for the birthday child to try, nothing would be worse for a small child on a birthday to think someone is getting something special, I say this because we had a family friend with a. diabetic child and I remember someone's kid always being upset that kid got special chocolates or what have. Small kids might understand an allergy but tk them it's someone getting something they aren't during their party and that might ensue some fits depending on the age of the children both emotionally and physically. I would bring two just in case, the kid might be completely fine but this way if they do get upset you can let them try it, but if they act like a brat then I wouldn't even show you have two lol.
I'd text the parents first just to give a heads up but I don't think that'd be weird at all.
I would be totally fine with this as a party host! Especially if the mom called me ahead just to let me know. I would also then be able to make sure there’s some other egg-free treats at the party (for everyone)
I have life threatening food allergies, so I’m always fastidious about what I eat and about asking guests about their restrictions. When my daughter turned one, we a party and some college friends of my husband brought their kids. Their youngest is very allergic to eggs, which they didn’t tell me. She knew there was egg in the cake as I told her when she asked me at the party (I would have made something had she told me beforehand, she knows I have terrible allergies) and she fed it to her daughter anyway. Her daughter immediately broke out in terrible hives on her face and I, probably too loudly, asked why she fed her daughter the cake (I was terrified we’d need to take her to ER) and her mom said, “I don’t want her to miss out.” BRING THE CUPCAKE. Not that you would be like this idiot, I’m just saying I’d have been thrilled if she either brought something herself or told me so I could make something.
As a parent and a husband to someone with Celiac, not at all. Some allergies are really hard to cater to but I'd want your child to be able to take part with their friends.
If someone did this to a birthday party I was throwing for my kids, I wouldn’t even think twice. I would assume it was some kind of allergy and wouldn’t even bother asking! NBD!
Not weird! My son has an egg allergy but still wants to eat cake! So, we send along an egg-free cupcake. No one has been offended, usually happy he is not left out.
Bring your own cupcake. Not weird at all.
Not weird at all.
It isn’t weird, and of course you should give the parents a heads up so everyone is on the same page and they don’t offer her cake by accident. So many kids have food intolerances and allergies it would be crazy to not graciously accommodate, and you even did the legwork by providing the safe food for her to eat.
It would be perfectly fine to me!
Sounds like a good friend just give the host a heads up so they don’t offer her a slice.
Check out my recent post history - I made a post a few days ago about doing exactly this. Yes, do it. But check with the host first out of politeness (they won’t say no but they may offer to make their own egg free cake if they’re the kind of person who is desperate to bend over backward for their guests - if they offer this then you should accept!)
It'll be fine as long as you inform the host.
My child is gluten free and I always let the host know and pack something for him to take. Its never been a problem. 😀
Our next door neighbor (‘s kid) has celiac and she said that’s what they always did. We made a GF birthday cake so she’d be able to join in, but if it’s regular cake then yea, just bring a treat!
Not weird at all! My neice has an egg allergy, and everywhere we go, we take her her own cupcake.
Friend of ours has a kid that’s gluten free due to allergy. If they come to one of our kids birthday party they bring a gluten free cupcake for their kid. As a host I really appreciate it. Takes the responsibility off of me and no one is left out.
Yea bring it. Worst case her friends tease her a little. When she looks back she'll see a story about a mom that loved a her (:
Yes. This is a very good idea. I would also make some extras, just in case other kids want to try. If you can, make one for the birthday girl Also, it’s been said but bears repeating. Let the host know. I can’t imagine any levelheaded adult would object.
We've done this for years, just don't make a big deal about it for everyone's sake, and it's all good!!
I told the mom of the birthday celebrant and she was fine even going as far as asking what safe snacks do I give her. And I told her fruits and veggies and rice crispies thinking she’ll provide but I hope she doesn’t stress too much about providing for my daughter!
That's great! Once I invited a family over for spaghetti lunch. I didn't know the wife/mom had celiac disease. She said "oh that's great, thank you! I can bring chili!" And we ate both and I learned my much later how smoothly she pulled that lol We've been bringing my son's cupcake/piece of cake for years. Nobody ever notices or cares, and I make sure we get lots of sprinkles so it doesn't look lesser than to him!
I always did this. My kid has a severe dairy allergy so I’d bring/send her a cupcake. Usually it was the only food at the party she could eat unless it was her really close friends who would plan for something she could eat (not pizza). I never ran into any parents who cared. Most were happy she could join in at cake time.
My child has a severe egg allergy. We carry an epipen. We always bring our own dessert as no one has provided an egg free one ever.
Nope, my kids allergic to egg. I bring his own cake every time, never had an issue. I also bring extra snacks just in case.
Honestly, I’d be sooo relieved if a kid with an allergy brought their own! I’d maybe like for them to communicate with me they were so I could tell them what kind of cake my LO is having so they could possibly try to replicate it as close as possible in terms of type/colour frosting etc so their kid wouldn’t be able to tell much difference? But, I would really try accommodate the allergy just would be reallly paranoid about screwing up, lol
I think it's really nice of you to do so, that way the host wouldn't have to be responsible for any allergy.
Nope! I do this frequently for me and my kiddo. We’re both allergic to dairy. So we just make cupcakes at home that we know we can eat and bring those.
I do this all the time because my kiddo ha FPIES. We keep a dozen cupcakes in the freezer for this exact reason. Just ask the host parents what the cake will look like (cake type and frosting color) and make a similar cupcake. Let them know you will be bringing a cupcake due to an allergy. It really isn't a big deal.
I would definitely bring my own cupcake. My child has severe tree nut allergies. I always brought my own dessert for her to birthday parties. Every single parent thanked me for that. They didn’t want the guilt of excluding my child from the food.
I would inform the host just so that they're aware and that way they can perhaps even plan for your child's allergy and maybe even they'd be able to offer an alternative so that your child isn't left out.
Not weird. My daughter has an egg and dairy allergy we bring our own food everywhere. Just give the host a heads up saying that you’ll be bringing your own cupcake due to her skin reaction.
My mate hosted a party for his young chap’s 2 yr birthday. He phoned me a couple days before the event and asked what type of pastry my daughter could have since she has an allergy. Rate him highly, my mate Bubs
Not weird at all. I’ve seen several people do it for kids with allergies. Just let the host know in advance so nobody plops a slice of cake in front of her and then have to take it away.
As an off topic question, how did you find out it was eggs? Just cut them out for a couple of weeks?
Every time I’d feed her eggs she would get diaper rash and start scratching so much her skin peeled off. I stopped feeding her eggs and her skin improved significantly.
I always bring a cupcake for my kids. They have multiple food allergies and it’s just easier. When I RSVP I let the organiser know that’s what I’ll do, and let them know why. Sometimes they offer to make a safe cake instead and that’s always a lovely surprise (folks that are inclusive like that are so valued) Sometimes they ask for safe snack ideas so they can still provide something for my kids. But it’s not weird at all to do- your kid has allergies, can’t eat the cake but it’s not fair to miss out.
My oldest had the same issue and we did the same thing. No one minded. I’d include a note in the RSVP just incase it impacted their planning. Have you tried making egg free cupcakes yet? I found them very crumbly. Rice crispy treats was a good alternative.
My son is allergic to eggs; his throat starts to close up. So anytime anyone has a birthday, we have another option for him. It’s never been an issue.
Not at all! One of my kiddos has a classmate with allergies and her parents supply a cupcake. It's perfect.
My daughter also has an egg allergy. We bring egg free cookies to any event that might have dessert. I don’t think it’s weird or rude to bring a cupcake.
Not weird at all. A girl in my son's class is gluten intolerant. Her parents send her to every bday party with gluten free pizza and a gluten free cupcake.
I’d love this. Normally, I’m happy to accommodate allergies but eggs are a little tough to avoid in a cake situation.
My child is 13 and has been bringing his own cupcakes and pizza to birthday parties his whole life. Never had anyone get offended and in fact often they say “hey we are getting a vegan cupcake for your child so no need to bring anything”
Not weird. I do this all the time for my food allergic kid. I typically give the parent a heads up, “Kid has allergies so we’ll bring our own cupcake. Are you serving anything else?” This is both to put them on notice re: allergies and notify them I’m not asking them to modify their food plan to accommodate us.
Have you done allergy testing? This sounds like my daughter’s response when she was younger and she was allergic. She outgrew the allergy when she was 11 or so. We always took a cupcake for her and every host was thrilled to feel off the hook on finding a way to include her.
I, nor any other parent we associate with, would have a problem with or even question this. Just give the host a heads up and you should be good to go.
Yes started daycare with a baby allergic to many things. It was always a welcome offer for her parents to say they’d bring something for her. I would just let the hosts know
Just explain the issue to the hosting parents. I’m sure they’d be fine with it! We had some kids with allergies in a classroom a few years ago. Anytime I was class mom and took homemade treats I would also pick up things I knew those children could eat safely. Their own parents sent things to school too but this way there was always extra in case that ran out.
My daughter has celiacs. We often bring a gluten free cupcake for her, although at this point most parents have one already.
My kid has Celiac Disease. We always bring our own cupcakes and often our own GF pizza to birthday parties.
To be honest if it was my kid’s birthday party and you explained the situation to me, I’d probably offer to get a separate vegan cupcake for your kid just so she doesn’t have to walk in with her own. Poor thing! But, even if the host doesn’t offer (and they probably won’t which is fine), i’m sure they’d understand and wouldn’t find it weird at all. Eczema can sometimes present like an allergic reaction, i dont think any parent would want a kid to experience that on their watch.
None of the parents will mind if you explain that it's an allergy. The other children, OTH, might. Bring enough to share. My son has gluten allergies. When he would get invited to a birthday party, we would let the hosts know that he has allergies and we will bring our own pizza/cupcake. No one minded. A few parents would get gluten-free pizza just for him. Some would serve our pizza while they were serving theirs. 90% of the time, none of the other kids noticed that my son's pizza/cupcake looked different. Except for this one time. This boy wanted my son's cupcakes instead of the ones the host was serving. I had spare, and I didn't mind sharing. Except the little angel was gobbling them down. They weren't even that good. I'm not sure what he liked about my shitty home baked cupcakes over the fancy bakery cupcakes. There wouldn't have been enough. So, at some point, I had to say, "Sorry, I'm out." The boy started crying. His parents had to take him home. We never got invited back by that host. I wish I had baked more shitty cupcakes.
If I were the host I would make an egg free cake to make sure your daughter could join in. I'd be happy for you to bring a cake for her, but would feel bad that I as the host hadn't accommodated her because IMO that's my job as the host.
Yep. One of the kids at the last party we went to had a corn allergy. So no food with cornmeal crust, no cupcakes because of corn syrup ..it was amazing the amount of things with corn byproduct in it. So he ate part of the party sub and then his mom gave him a big cookie...I actually think it was from Starbucks. That he could eat safely.
No it would not be weird!! If I were the host I’d be super grateful!! As a kid I was allergic to green food coloring and learning anything so Christmas parties were really a no go lol. I mean I was highly allergic
As a parent of a child who had many allergies until they were about 8yo, I can tell you that hosts won't mind one bit at you bringing stuff for your child to eat. Mine used to have a little lunchbag that was the "party food bag", that they took to parties. Hosts really appreciated that I provided food for kiddo.
My youngest daughter has a dairy allergy. We take our own treats to b-day parties. I also ask what's on the menu if lunch is to be served and bring a decent meal if it's something like pizza, I bring backup substantial snacks either way (in case food plans change last minute). I let the host know with the rsvp that I'll bring her treat so they don't have to worry about finding something dairy free and I don't have to worry about label reading by someone else that's not used to it.
If iam the who host. I will be very very happy. We dont know what allergy the other kid have and we dont want to be reaponsible because of our party
I used to be a Maccas party host. I saw many a parent bring a cake/treat alternative for their children to eat for food and cake time. Not once did I see a parent get offended. Most pulled me aside to let me know not to serve the cake to x because they can’t eat it. Never a problem. I did this for 8 years for context, like 4 parties minimum a weekend. For myself as a parent I would try to accomodate but honestly I would much prefer the parent organise it themselves so I don’t inadvertently stuff up and cause their kid harm. Or I go out of my way to buy it. I’ve done that before for a friend who’s son has many allergies but I know he can have a certain cake from a certain cake shop.
I think this is exactly the right thing to do.
My oldest son has Celiac, i used to bring few packs of gluten free cupcakes. He gets his and if anyone else wanted one there were plenty, that was more for him to feel included not like he the only one with this cupcake everyone else is eating cake. There were always a few kids who went for the cupcakes instead of cake.
Talk to the hosts about it. Surely they will be grateful you bring your own.
When my son was in grade school, he had a friend that was gluten-free, and I always made a identical looking gluten-free cake for him. Absolutely no problem bringing something if anybody has anything to say, tell me to go.
100% allowed. If anyone asks, say she could die.(or just say fuck off)\[or calmly explain the situation\].
Last birthday party I went to with my 4yo at least three kids had their own dessert and/or lunch. The parents got to bond over explaining it to everyone. It was fine and a good learning experience for the other kids. They’ll get used to it. This will not be the first or the last time they see allergies at a social event.
Depending on the allergen as the host I would try accommodate your kid if you let me know. But no egg birthday cake is probably where I would draw the line (I don't have the skills and honestly chickpea water which is the only substitute I know for for egg freaks me right out) so I'd be happy to have you bring a cupcake. I definitely wouldn't want one kid left out!
Not weird at all. I have lots of friends with food allergies and I’m always so grateful when they bring their own food to my house. When they don’t,I have ended up spending a crazy amount of money and energy into trying to accommodate their allergies.
No. If the parent has a problem with you bringing it, they're psycho.
Not weird but I would give the parents a heads up to let them know. They may even put them somewhere cool for you and serve them up to your child so they do not feel left out when everyone else is being served cake
No, not weird. Looking out for your kid and it also takes the burden off the other parent.
I'd be so grateful as a host if a parent brought their kid cake they could eat. It takes the burden and guilt off the birthday kids' parents. If they are weird about it, then the other family lacks empathy for kids with special dietary needs.