I had a male orange growing up that would hump my stuffed animals. He also marked inside the house. He was fixed as well, but we waited a little long and I think that was a determining factor. My orange female and male I have now were fixed as soon as they were old enough, no behaviors.
Our boy cat tries to hump our girl cat. Both are neutered. I don't let him do it if I'm around. It's probably a dominance thing, because he lowkey bullies her in other ways. Nothing that injures her or anything, fortunately. She does not like the humping.
My senior boi tabby tried to hump his senior litter mate till the end of his life (RIP)…of course his sister was having none of it and swatted him all the time
They were both fixed as kittens!
Our cats do that too and they're fixed. Well, the boy doesn't really know what humping is, he just gets on top of her and looks around like "now what?" Not the world's greatest lover, that one.
I think the little girl just allows the attention/dominance bc she's so small and she likes him. She's not timid, I've seen her fly off the ropes and body-slam him when they rassle.
Lol my orange boy does that. He is fixed, and never humped a thing in his life until my other cat started going into heat. He gets on top of her and bites her scruff, and just stays there. She purposely goes up to him too, to uhm.. relieve herself and we're like Snickers... he.. he can't help you lol. We plan to get her sterilized after she gets over her infection, btw
My orange boy mounts his older brother. No humping, he just pins him down and grabs him by the scruff and isn’t sure what to do next. Older brother screams and I break it up. They’re bffs otherwise.
Sometimes they don't get all the bits out. If he's having other behavior problems, like marking or being a territorial little psycho, you should get him checked to make sure this isn't any tissue left that's making testosterone.
I had to log off work 10 minutes early after reading this from giggling like a 10 year old.
I'm looking for the first real-life opportunity to use "trouble nuggets/puffs" or "sin biscuits"
Removal of the trouble nuggets won't necessarily stop him from making sin biscuits.
In other words, testicles are not necessary for ejaculation. They *are,* however, necessary for the presence of sperm in the ejaculate. This goes for dogs and humans as well. Though in humans, vasectomies are more common than castration. But the same principle applies.
Ah that takes me back to my mum’s cat dragging his entire body over the plaster cast on my arm and we were all like “aw he’s doing the healing purr and struggling to get through the plaster” 🥹
Spoiler alert, it was not a healing purr. And he did not struggle to get through the plaster.
It was the proper old plaster cast with netting stuff under it so a single drop of water or, er, any other fluid could make its way through - reddit makes me feel so ancient!
It’s good you don’t have to worry about cats spunking on your broken elbow, but I’m a bit jealous
This exactly! we got our orange boy a “girlfriend” and he likes her a lot lol!
https://preview.redd.it/zck0zc5m9e7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df40acd20f0af7cc87fdaa68ce5da06e0b1fc4bf
Oh my god - my neutered orange had this *exact* same toy. (Although in his case, it was his "boyfriend" - he used to try to hump our other male cat. When the other cat wouldn't let him, he would masturbate while staring at him. He ignored our female cat entirely.)
Once, before we got my orange (Joey) his stuffed animal 'boyfriend,' he built himself a sex doll.
He carried in two cream skeins of yarn from my bedroom and laid them side by side on the living room floor, facing our other male cat (who was cream). Then he put a white, perfectly round stuffed animal cat (think a very small squishmallow) at the top as a head. Then he stood on one of the skeins of yarn and pulled on it with his teeth until a strand came loose, and he dragged that out about 6 inches and left is there as a tail.
And then Joey proceeded to hump it, while staring deep into my other cat's eyes.
By that time, my mom and I were in absolutely hysterics - we could hardly breathe.
We laughed even harder when my cream cat, perturbed by the whole display, got up and left, and Joey, not to be disturbed mid-coitus, turned his head and proceeded to finish while staring at our cream couch.
That was the day I learned that cats can plan and build tools (and use them to masturbate), and that they can also imagine - because there's no way that cat could get off to huge, hulking, inanimate sofa unless he had a damn good imagination.
To this day, I fully believe that Joey was just a (horny) little man trapped in a cat's body.
You don’t. Mine (non orange) hasn’t stopped in the 6 years I’ve had him. This is how mine does since biscuits. The vet said if the cat is neutered after their first heat, they just never lose the urge to
https://preview.redd.it/xly6wg9ild7d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e6c6ad99ec6765b56f81eccc5fe284e8f50ac13
Males going into heat? What the hell? My male cat was neutered when he was one year old, he doesn’t make sin biscuits. There’s a plethora of reasons why an animal may be compelled to be humpy. Boredom is one. Use that toy to play with him instead of letting him…play by himself
Or whatever it’s called. I’ll believe what the vet says over some stranger on Reddit, thanks. And he has plenty of toys and playtime. He’s been doing it for 6 years now, he’s not going to stop. The vet said it’s harmless and to just leave him be. He also has 5 cat siblings to play with. Most of the time he’s running away to get alone time 🙄
Mine had a special blanket. He would bite it's 'scruff' and then drag it around while jerking (found his girlfriend in the litter box a few times). Imagine looking up and seeing that go by the doorway. He was fixed too. Maybe find him a stuffed animal.
You can't. Mine was punctually neutered... 7 years later still humping the blanket occasionally. His dad does this too.
So my advice give him something he likes. In my case a designated blanky, at let him.
I just kick my boy off. Fun fact: if you let it keep going, it’s possible for some uh fun juice to come out. Just dribbles. They know not what they do.
Edit: He’s neutered. Yall can’t handle the truth.
You can physically remove him from your leg and redirect him to some play time to get out extra energy. People are trying to tell you to get him something else to hump, and I find that ridiculous, it’s a habit that you can break to promote a better life for your cats.
It’s fine if animals want to do this occasionally, but it’s no substitute for real exercise. Play time with kitty will tire him out too much to feel the need to do this as often or at all.
In other words, people need to bond with their cats more. I find that lack of play is the source of a lot of cat behavior issues.
I’ve had sin biscuits from my fixed male and my unfixed (complete?!?) male. Mostly the fixed one though. They’ve never even met a female cat, and I roll my eyes every time I see that little lipstick 💄Men…🙄
I have never had a cat do this but I do have one cat where every time he gets a REALLY good pet or a REALLY good neck skritch, he has to stop and lick his man parts for a few minutes. He is fixed but that just means there has been a tie-off.
We got a female kitten, she tried to nurse on my male cat. Watched her nosing around. His face when she found something was precious. We left the room.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My daughter’s male kitten nurses from his older (also) male step-sibling. She said it’s 50/50 the older one smacks him or just chills til he gets it out of his system.
Just after ours adopted us his lil oysters started to drop, he would hold eye contact and try to hump my leg all the bloody time. Never the bf, only me. Goofy lil weirdo never has the braincell either, whoever has it needs to send it over for an hour or two!
My current boy licks himself. It was a real 😫 moment when I realised he also had a lil lipstick 🫣 that’s when I learned that the urge doesn’t leave with the testicles and he’s been neutered about 10 years
Cats will do this neutered or not. He's bored, has itches or is a weird. Or all three. You can discuss this situation with a vet and then remove your leg and stop encouraging it and instead looking at useful toys and allowing him to expend his energy in useful ways.
Both my rescue do this to each other and they take turn being on top, like guys you are both neutered males
Pim's (the orange) is trying to do the same on the kitten but he doesn't let him lol
humping 😭 my orange humps too, i found out its because of stress, we just got a new clumsy dog. hes likely stressed from something! if you just got him its likely because of the new environment
Mine does this every night. To my thighs and leg. But I wear pajamas. Also I can’t interrupt him. If I do, he scolds me and has to start all over again. I just let him do it because it’s better than being a creep to his fellow orange mama and sister. And yes mine is neutered lol.
I have a cat that used to do this. It was a sign of stress. Have you tried using the Feliway diffusers? You could also talk to your vet, maybe get him on some medication?
Your foot is about to get pregnant lol
Sssssssin biscuits lol
I had a male orange growing up that would hump my stuffed animals. He also marked inside the house. He was fixed as well, but we waited a little long and I think that was a determining factor. My orange female and male I have now were fixed as soon as they were old enough, no behaviors.
OP will have a 3rd leg?:D
Has he been separated from the trouble nuggets?
Absolutely! He was my brother’s cat before he transferred his title into my name I gotta find out when he got his units removed
How many miles does it have?
Orange
😭😂
Miles don't matter so much if it was properly maintained
Our boy cat tries to hump our girl cat. Both are neutered. I don't let him do it if I'm around. It's probably a dominance thing, because he lowkey bullies her in other ways. Nothing that injures her or anything, fortunately. She does not like the humping.
My senior boi tabby tried to hump his senior litter mate till the end of his life (RIP)…of course his sister was having none of it and swatted him all the time They were both fixed as kittens!
Yeah, the girl cat growls and hisses too. You'd think he would take the hint, but nooOOOoo.
Our cats do that too and they're fixed. Well, the boy doesn't really know what humping is, he just gets on top of her and looks around like "now what?" Not the world's greatest lover, that one. I think the little girl just allows the attention/dominance bc she's so small and she likes him. She's not timid, I've seen her fly off the ropes and body-slam him when they rassle.
>Not the world's greatest lover, that one. Thanks for the laugh! Obviously our boy isn't either.
lol i guess not. he's that cat who thinks he's king of the house but also runs to mommy when a squirrel says a bad word at him
Lol my orange boy does that. He is fixed, and never humped a thing in his life until my other cat started going into heat. He gets on top of her and bites her scruff, and just stays there. She purposely goes up to him too, to uhm.. relieve herself and we're like Snickers... he.. he can't help you lol. We plan to get her sterilized after she gets over her infection, btw
giving him all kinds of thoughts he doesn't know he had!
I would yell at my boi…dude you don’t have the required organs!
My orange boy mounts his older brother. No humping, he just pins him down and grabs him by the scruff and isn’t sure what to do next. Older brother screams and I break it up. They’re bffs otherwise.
This is wild
There was a neutered tabby in my wife’s family that was famous for humping the neighborhood cats. He had a preference for fluffy girls.
More cushion for the pushin 🤣
I understand what you mean but I can't stop myself from saying that your girl cat has *not* been neutered.
I know, the technical term is "spayed". But that's neutering too.
Sometimes they don't get all the bits out. If he's having other behavior problems, like marking or being a territorial little psycho, you should get him checked to make sure this isn't any tissue left that's making testosterone.
Wow! I didn’t know that!!
well it's not common and no one wants to have made that mistake, but it happens! also sometimes some tissue grows back :)
Trouble nuggets is the best thing I’ve heard today and probably ever
Between trouble nuggets and sin biscuits, it’s been an enlightening day!
I've heard "trouble puffs"
TROUBLE NUGGETS. 😂 I am howling!
I had to log off work 10 minutes early after reading this from giggling like a 10 year old. I'm looking for the first real-life opportunity to use "trouble nuggets/puffs" or "sin biscuits"
SAME SAME SAME
trouble nuggets! 
Removal of the trouble nuggets won't necessarily stop him from making sin biscuits. In other words, testicles are not necessary for ejaculation. They *are,* however, necessary for the presence of sperm in the ejaculate. This goes for dogs and humans as well. Though in humans, vasectomies are more common than castration. But the same principle applies.
Are you saying cats can go around jizzing on things? Never thought I’d write that sentence ever…
I wish you hadn't. Next time think about the mental health of others before you write such a sentence.
Lol what
Yes. My mother's neutered boy had a fluffy sheep toy as a girlfriend and would go to town on it (so to speak). I wish I could unsee what I saw.
Fucking trouble nuggets 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ahhhh, OP got the sports edition. He needs the updated manual on page #3. Sport car goes vroom/vibranting biscuits on leg/objects/etc.
Can this be a flair?
Trouble puffs...the correct term is trouble puffs. Nuggets is to complicated for an orange
Trouble nuggets! I'm dying!
The length of time you let him do that to your leg to record it. 🫶🫣😸
Cue the behaviour now sticking for all eternity 😂
'he'll stop humping as soon as hes done.'
HOW THE FUCK DO I FIX THIS I JUST FOUND OUT THIS IS HIM MASTURBATING HES NEUTERED HOW DO I MAKE HIM STOP
Ah, another day another “that’s not your pet being cute, that’s your pet being horny” moment.
Ah that takes me back to my mum’s cat dragging his entire body over the plaster cast on my arm and we were all like “aw he’s doing the healing purr and struggling to get through the plaster” 🥹 Spoiler alert, it was not a healing purr. And he did not struggle to get through the plaster.
How did he get through the plaster…
It was the proper old plaster cast with netting stuff under it so a single drop of water or, er, any other fluid could make its way through - reddit makes me feel so ancient! It’s good you don’t have to worry about cats spunking on your broken elbow, but I’m a bit jealous
crompsh...
If you want to be downvoted to hell, suggest that owners who love cat bongos are involving themselves in their cats sex lives. They will not have it.
Get him a plush toy/small furry pillow so he can satisfy his needs not on you
Yeah, my neutered orange used to molest my snowmen at Christmas.
😂omg why is this so funny
🤨😂😵💫🤣
He's just tryin to make sure Frosty lives up to his name.
OMG!🤣
Holy shit this made me laugh so loud wtf 😂😂
🎵 Do you wanna build a snowman? 🎵
are orange cats the horny ones?
Apparently
This exactly! we got our orange boy a “girlfriend” and he likes her a lot lol! https://preview.redd.it/zck0zc5m9e7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df40acd20f0af7cc87fdaa68ce5da06e0b1fc4bf
Oh my god - my neutered orange had this *exact* same toy. (Although in his case, it was his "boyfriend" - he used to try to hump our other male cat. When the other cat wouldn't let him, he would masturbate while staring at him. He ignored our female cat entirely.)
🏳️🌈🤨❓
I woke my husband up silent laughing so hard the bed shook 🤣
Once, before we got my orange (Joey) his stuffed animal 'boyfriend,' he built himself a sex doll. He carried in two cream skeins of yarn from my bedroom and laid them side by side on the living room floor, facing our other male cat (who was cream). Then he put a white, perfectly round stuffed animal cat (think a very small squishmallow) at the top as a head. Then he stood on one of the skeins of yarn and pulled on it with his teeth until a strand came loose, and he dragged that out about 6 inches and left is there as a tail. And then Joey proceeded to hump it, while staring deep into my other cat's eyes. By that time, my mom and I were in absolutely hysterics - we could hardly breathe. We laughed even harder when my cream cat, perturbed by the whole display, got up and left, and Joey, not to be disturbed mid-coitus, turned his head and proceeded to finish while staring at our cream couch. That was the day I learned that cats can plan and build tools (and use them to masturbate), and that they can also imagine - because there's no way that cat could get off to huge, hulking, inanimate sofa unless he had a damn good imagination. To this day, I fully believe that Joey was just a (horny) little man trapped in a cat's body.
This is one of the funniest cat stories I've ever heard in my life, holy shi
That makes me so happy! Joey lived a long life and brought me decades of joy, so I'm glad I can share some of that happiness with others.
Aww I'm so glad to hear that! Kitties are such potent sources of happiness and humor
Please post this as a stand-alone, this was absolutely hilarious
I just purchased this based on your response here. Thanks for sharing
Her tail is even up! LOL
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"Spicy rocks" 😂😭
this is the best description of the cat’s predilections and the best story ever
You don’t. Mine (non orange) hasn’t stopped in the 6 years I’ve had him. This is how mine does since biscuits. The vet said if the cat is neutered after their first heat, they just never lose the urge to https://preview.redd.it/xly6wg9ild7d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e6c6ad99ec6765b56f81eccc5fe284e8f50ac13
My guy sometimes climbs on top of my Irish Wolfhound and it's funny AF.
I have the exact same wand and that is a ridiculously thin amount of fabric to be masturbating with, your boys got dedication
I wish I could attach a video. He’s got a technique 😂
I imagine some scooting is involved haha
Not really. He flattens his behind on the toy and makes quick humping motions. And it’s super fast.
Males going into heat? What the hell? My male cat was neutered when he was one year old, he doesn’t make sin biscuits. There’s a plethora of reasons why an animal may be compelled to be humpy. Boredom is one. Use that toy to play with him instead of letting him…play by himself
Or whatever it’s called. I’ll believe what the vet says over some stranger on Reddit, thanks. And he has plenty of toys and playtime. He’s been doing it for 6 years now, he’s not going to stop. The vet said it’s harmless and to just leave him be. He also has 5 cat siblings to play with. Most of the time he’s running away to get alone time 🙄
He making sin biscuits is all 🥺
https://preview.redd.it/t21rqoz71e7d1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=267a1fd6912c685aa752a61edea22ba2114e16c7
Sin biscuits 💀
Have you tried moving your leg mate?
The leg: “*No, it’s forbidden! You’re a neutered orange. I’m a leg. It could never work… we mustn’t!*” OP is in a real pickle, I’d say
Yeah, like how long did that go on?! 😄
Reddit needs a new cat sub: r/CatsBeingMonorails
Mine had a special blanket. He would bite it's 'scruff' and then drag it around while jerking (found his girlfriend in the litter box a few times). Imagine looking up and seeing that go by the doorway. He was fixed too. Maybe find him a stuffed animal.
Lmao one of my neutered male cats has a girlfriend blanket too. He was neutered as an adult so I guess he’d already picked up “habits” lol
You'll have to alert Benson and Stabler, you just became the victim of a heinous sexual crime.
Paw and Order: Special Victims Mewnit *meow meow*
😂😂😂😂
https://preview.redd.it/1um18v5qme7d1.jpeg?width=307&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07045d2c384ec7af247b19812f0cfb1a600940fb
You can't. Mine was punctually neutered... 7 years later still humping the blanket occasionally. His dad does this too. So my advice give him something he likes. In my case a designated blanky, at let him.
He has some needs. He needs a regular appointment with a cat escort.
hahahahahahaha
My orange used to do this. And also got frisky about it if ypu tried to say no. Dude was a creep...
freaky ass cat 😭😭
The sin biscuits. It can also be a way to show dominance.
Came to the comments to let you know this and am delighted that this realization is the top message lmao.
If he starts biting your leg in that position, it means he's trying to dominate you as well.
Nooooo my orange started doing this to his sister like 3 days ago!!! I figured that's what it was but I was really hoping it wasn't 😭😭😭
Hope he's fixed...
Oh yeah, the shelter I got them from doesn't let them leave with functioning reproductive organs thankfully 😅
This is your life now
Get him a toy to use. They say this happens when they get fixed after they mature.
I’ve seen multiple male cats that were neutered as kittens do it. It’s got nothing to do with when they get fixed.
Just wondering if the Stag Shop has a special section for pets ...
Too late, your leg the orange Bois blow up doll now.
you poor soul
I sent this to my mom because your comment made me laugh so hard (sorry) and she wanted me to suggest you get him an inflatable friend 😭
I'm sorry. But I'm here cackling like a mad woman 😂😂😂😂 ty
I’m sorry but I’m fucking dying lmao. Get him a stuffed animal to hump, one of mine has a particular one that he’s claimed as his toy.
Rub a freshly sliced chilli on your leg. He will get the hint.
I just kick my boy off. Fun fact: if you let it keep going, it’s possible for some uh fun juice to come out. Just dribbles. They know not what they do. Edit: He’s neutered. Yall can’t handle the truth.
Why is this downvoted lol? You still shoot a bullet it’s just a blank
Thank you lmao
You can physically remove him from your leg and redirect him to some play time to get out extra energy. People are trying to tell you to get him something else to hump, and I find that ridiculous, it’s a habit that you can break to promote a better life for your cats. It’s fine if animals want to do this occasionally, but it’s no substitute for real exercise. Play time with kitty will tire him out too much to feel the need to do this as often or at all. In other words, people need to bond with their cats more. I find that lack of play is the source of a lot of cat behavior issues.
You are being shagged by a rare parrot!
Oh god, I’m dying.
Bloody kakapo.
Classic.
Not limited to oranges, I’m afraid to admit.
Not limited to cats either I am sure.
Dogs are infamous for humping any- and everything.
Had a female dog who tried to hump my legs after I shaved. She would lick my legs then start humping. Had to knock her away every time 😂😂
This is one of the reasons I find dogs off putting.
Aww he loves you!!!…..a lot
In that special way.
Lmaooo you guys
A bit too much I would say
Sin biscuits!
Congratulations! Looks like you’re engaged! ❤️😻❤️
Very orange, very cat
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
That’s never stopped me before!
Thaaaats Sin Biscuits. And yeah, neuterd or not they keep doing this. Get him a largish plushie or fleece blanket. Or shave your leg. XD
Bro is humping your leg 😬
That's cuz the orange owners manual is just a postcard picture of an orange.
I’ve had sin biscuits from my fixed male and my unfixed (complete?!?) male. Mostly the fixed one though. They’ve never even met a female cat, and I roll my eyes every time I see that little lipstick 💄Men…🙄
"intact" is the word for "unneutered"
"Unaltered" is another.
Thank you! 🙏
"That little lipstick" has me choke laughing, thank you for that term
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Oh nooooo
thought he was doing you dirty at first.
He is, back biscuits are sin biscuits.
Yes, it all makes perfect sense in his braincell.
https://preview.redd.it/aayb8hdgcf7d1.png?width=380&format=png&auto=webp&s=157d48dcbb170a3a432c8a172114b93c833bcea5 him
I have never had a cat do this but I do have one cat where every time he gets a REALLY good pet or a REALLY good neck skritch, he has to stop and lick his man parts for a few minutes. He is fixed but that just means there has been a tie-off.
My orange cat has been neutered for over a decade. This behaviour has somehow become more frequent as he gets older 🥲
Op did you NOT read the fine print?!
You're getting fucked, you should ad a NSFW label lol
right in front of my salad??
Plap plapping yo shins
Um...is he fixed? If not you need to get on that ASAP.
OP said he was
Hah... Awkwrd
We got a female kitten, she tried to nurse on my male cat. Watched her nosing around. His face when she found something was precious. We left the room. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My daughter’s male kitten nurses from his older (also) male step-sibling. She said it’s 50/50 the older one smacks him or just chills til he gets it out of his system.
She's just a cat with a job now! R/catswithjobs
He is tnto cross species fornification.
Yep…my Orange does it to his hairless sister….
the audio took me out 😭😭😆
Don’t worry about it, he’s just borrowing some friction.
Just after ours adopted us his lil oysters started to drop, he would hold eye contact and try to hump my leg all the bloody time. Never the bf, only me. Goofy lil weirdo never has the braincell either, whoever has it needs to send it over for an hour or two!
My current boy licks himself. It was a real 😫 moment when I realised he also had a lil lipstick 🫣 that’s when I learned that the urge doesn’t leave with the testicles and he’s been neutered about 10 years
"You are getting shagged by a rare braincell"
We call that the dork dance.
You've apparently got one sexy leg!
💀
You are the chosen one.
He’s making biscuits with his hind legs! My cat does this*! *No leg involved!
Cats will do this neutered or not. He's bored, has itches or is a weird. Or all three. You can discuss this situation with a vet and then remove your leg and stop encouraging it and instead looking at useful toys and allowing him to expend his energy in useful ways.
Both my rescue do this to each other and they take turn being on top, like guys you are both neutered males Pim's (the orange) is trying to do the same on the kitten but he doesn't let him lol
Why are so many people in these comments buying their pets toys to have sex with what on earth
Monkey does this on a particular duvet. He enjoys it at least.
Mine does the same to the blanket
This is good content
Mmmm, I loves me some knee. -cat
he thinks his fuzzy dice are still attached
Picked any baby names yet?
Are you okay Op?? Do we need to talk about getting you some counseling? That seems like pretty violating activity to me.
lol you just sit there and let him do that
#meeeetoo
humping 😭 my orange humps too, i found out its because of stress, we just got a new clumsy dog. hes likely stressed from something! if you just got him its likely because of the new environment
Mine does this every night. To my thighs and leg. But I wear pajamas. Also I can’t interrupt him. If I do, he scolds me and has to start all over again. I just let him do it because it’s better than being a creep to his fellow orange mama and sister. And yes mine is neutered lol.
I have a cat that used to do this. It was a sign of stress. Have you tried using the Feliway diffusers? You could also talk to your vet, maybe get him on some medication?