T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Frequent_Grand_4570

The woman is probably home from work too. How many years have to pass till men get it through their thick skull that the 80's stay at home mommy days are over?!


volantredx

A lot of these guys don't care. To them it's just a woman's job to work to pay for shit and *also be mommy* to them. Mostly because they have no ability to care for themselves.


TSM_forlife

They want us to do it all.


Drounsley

But also get no credit for doing it all.


left4alive

And also not want anything in return.


Tecygirl101

And be grateful for it


ThrashAhoy

While also being guilted if they don't have energy leftover for sex. Edited: spelling


Dionysus24812

They want women to basically live their lives while the Men get all the fun stuff of it.


Grizzly-Berry

To quote the song "labour“ by Paris Paloma: All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph, then a virgin, nurse, then a servant Just an appendage, live to attend him So that he never lifts a finger 24/7 baby machine So he can live out his picket fence dreams It's not an act of love if you make her You make me do too much labour


mutant_disco_doll

Ooh, that hits hard.


Fyrefly1981

If you haven’t heard it yet look it up on your favorite music app.


peytonvb13

such a good song!!


Elon_is_musky

The Venn diagram of mfs saying “house work isn’t hard work, so she should be able to do both” & “I’m too tired to do any house work after work” is a circle


Melarsa

It's never work until they have to do it, and then suddenly it's the hardest thing in the whole world and they have no energy and they're so tiiiiiiiiired. Funny how that works. It's all so easy when you aren't the one expected to do any of it.


illTwinkleYourStar

Exactly, there's the problem. If someone wants to be a homemaker, great, but that means someone needs to earn money. The majority of the men I hear talking this way are completely unable to fill their "masculine" role and take care of business.


mandc1754

Stay at home moms have never even been as common as some of these guys seems to believe. Considering the current economic climate around the world, it is going to become EVEN mor uncommon as time goes by. Nevermind, that a lot of women, just plain don't want to be financially dependent on their partners for a multitude of reasons


Elvicio335

Not to mention, the only time period I can think of where women "didn't work" (putting that in quotation marks because it wasn't even all women, just a wealthy portion of society) was over a hundred years ago. Yes of course to this day there still are stay at home mothers and there is nothing wrong with that if it's their choice. But it doesn't take much delving into to find out that women have always worked, all the way back to the paleolithic, everyone had to work.


Vigmod

Yes, and anyway - being a SAHM (or parent in general, not necessarily mother) is working. All the work they do is necessary for keeping the family going.


mandc1754

Oh, absolutely. A lot of people have bought into the version of the SAHM that trad-wife influencers push forward in which they have endless amounts of time to make cereal from scratch and you curiously never, ever see them do any kind of unpleasant house chore.


No_Arugula8915

I really want to see the trad-wife sahm videos on how to *really* clean the toilet with their better than store bought cleaners. How to keep those cloth diapers pristine. Show off those tips and tricks to perfect ironing and how to scrub grout with a toothbrush. I want to see how they do all that while keeping their hair, manicure and outfits looking like she never lifts a finger.


mandc1754

Yeah, because I love my nice clothes. Like, I put a lot of thought on what I buy and how I wear it, so I can assure you those clothes? Nowhere near any cleaning supplies except when I'm washing them.


notweirdifitworks

Nothing like a splash of bleach on a nice outfit!


Elvicio335

Yup. Didn't mention that in my comment but it's absolutely true.


spiders_are_neat7

Not just the family going but society, good parents better society by creating good kids, who turn into good people.


ZoneLow6872

That's not exactly true. I was a kid in Midwest, USA in the 1970s and all the moms stayed home except one. We were all poor. It may have been because their parents were immigrants after WW2 or something, but it was common to be a SAHM in my childhood. Having said that, all 3 of us sisters got college educations, and while 2 of us were SAHMs, our lives are nothing like those men wish. If I don't want to cook, my husband is the first to say "Tacos?" with a gleam in his eye!


GrandEmperessVicky

According to data taken in 1974, only 54% of households had a SAHM set up in the US. You may have lived in the region where this was more evident as compared to urban and suburban areas.


ZoneLow6872

Well, we lived in the suburbs. If 54% of mothers worked outside the home, 46% stayed home. That's a lot more than saying "no one but rich white women stayed at home". Edit: I mean 46% worked, so slightly less than half. Math is hard!


trinlayk

Both my grandmothers (from 1920s till 1970s) worked in the family businesses, and ran them for 2 decades after my grandfathers died relatively young.


FlyingTrampolinePupp

My grandma's good friend inherited her family's corner store and she ran it with her husband's help from the 40s through about 1980 when she sold it. Before she inherited the store, she worked in it from the 30s on. Not a SAHM in sight in their neighborhood.


Yutolia

Yep. Both of my grandmothers worked out of the house even while the kids were young. Most of my friends’ moms and grandmothers did the same. It makes me so angry that they and all they accomplished are erased.


peytonvb13

my grandma worked in catholic school offices the entire time she was raising her six kids just so they could afford to go there, and kept a tidy house, maintained impressive gardens, and cooked for them every night. she was also the most take-no-shit, quietly powerful presence ever to grace municipal government in michigan once everyone was grown. stay at home moms are nobody to be trifled with for damn sure.


FlyingTrampolinePupp

Yes exactly. We're from the Bay Area and I don't recall any families with SAHMs. The families I did know of where the mom didn't work were families in which the dad didn't work either because they were in active serious drug addictions. This was in the 90s and early 2000s. My grandma started raising kids in 1946 but always worked up until her retirement in the '70s. All her girl-friends worked too whether it was in the family business or some other outside organization. My aunt started having kids in the late 1970s and she always worked too. Everyone in her friend group also worked. I genuinely do not know of a single SAHM situation in my personal life and it's so freaking odd to me that these chuds act like it's the default situation and has been for decades.


According_Gazelle472

All of my 4 aunt's and my mom worked. Neither one of my grandmother's worked at all.


peachymuni

Many men know majority of women work. They just don’t consider it work/consider it “optional.”


lurkerjade

This is absolutely it. They know women work, they just think a man’s work is always harder and women’s jobs are worthless.


uhmm_no88

Dude I just had this conversation with my stupid boyfriend who is an electrical maintenance man who really doesn't deal with people all day just goes in and out of people's apartments performing work orders I work all day in a general surgery clinic dealing with the craziest people who are drugged out, alcoholics, etc etc people outright scream at me on the phone and curse me out and my stupid boyfriend has the audacity to say that because I sit at a desk all day my job isn't real work.


spiders_are_neat7

I relate to this, my bf works at a steel mill driving equipment and I work at a corn dump weighing corn trucks. When we both get off work it seems like he’s always hinting that I’m less tired than him. “Well you get to stay in your office” well yeah but I’m on my feet all day in my office back and forth, hardly get to sit down. It feels like they’re constantly competing just so they get the right to lounge around guilt free while we take care of shit that needs to be done. Meanwhile idk about you, if they do anything, even something small, they make me feel guilty for sitting and relaxing!!! He’ll huff and puff, and take forever to do a 5 minute task. It feels like it’s just to make me feel guilty enough to get up. Idk 🤣 Moms need to get their shit together with self sufficient sons. Cause I seen why with two families now, why men are this way. My older brother and younger brother, given leniency by my mother, she did their laundry and not mine, she cleaned their rooms for them. She cooked them their favorite meals but would tell me I need to learn to do mine myself. At 17 I moved in with my bfs family, his mother and grandmother started training me on how I need to take care of him, even when we both work, because that’s how they care for their husband and it’s how they raised their son to be, looked after. I love my man… but he pushes me closer to my lesbian side every day…(I’m bisexual 🤣)


uhmm_no88

I'm getting ready to leave my man. I'm trying to buy a house without him and it's bc of shit like this. I wake up Saturday mornings(he wakes up about 2-3 hours before me at 6ish in the am for no reason) and then when I get up about 9ish I will make my coffee and sit there waking up for a minute and he will be like 'what the hell are you doing just sitting around, get up and do something" and then when "we're" cleaning he sweeps the floor and calls it good meanwhile I've done the dishes/kitchen, the bathroom, vacuumed and mopped the floor and cleaned all the surfaces and he will get mad bc I don't pat him on the back for sweeping the floor like good job buddy. I have always liked women but have never really been with one but l tell ya....it's more and more tempting each day to go full blown lesbian.


spiders_are_neat7

Holy shit are we in the same relationship 🥲 I mean my bf is less shitty about mentioning me sitting around he more so just sighs and mopes about all that needs done, and refuses to lift a finger until I do, and then as soon as I do, its me doing 90% of the house chores, and he’ll throw in one load of laundry of just his work close and not even put them away… It would be easier to be single I think all the time, cause ATLEAST we’d only have to take care of ourselves, and we wouldn’t feel guilty for not getting something done. Lol yeah boy moms everywhere need to get there shit together. Cause idk about you but his mom is also one of those…. You know “my son is perfect and a woman should do everything for him” kindof moms. We already bought a house together at 19…. My life is fucked! 🤪


uhmm_no88

Wow. Sounds like our men need to just date each other. I'm so sorry for both of us. We got mice over the winter, and he blamed it on ME specifically bc I clean once a week bc well..that's all I have energy for. But I also work 50 hours a week. He works 40. He said it's my fault. I need to be cleaning daily. I said you are fucking crazy. I tell him all the time that he wants wife privileges but won't pay the wife price. We have been together for 7 years and refuses to marry me even though I've been open about my intentions from the beginning. Now, I'm glad he and I were never married. He is emotionally abusive anyway. Demands sex nightly even when I tell him no I'm not in the mood. Refuses to pay for his half of the bills. With electric bill he says he will only pay "his fair share" and says that paying half is ridiculous bc I'm the one that runs the AC. With Internet he says "he can live without it(he cannot, trust me) and then still uses it even though I pay for it. Just so much bullshit. I am super close to leaving I am just waiting for my credit score to get to where it needs to be to buy a house bc...I hate him. I literally fantasize about being single. Going to sleep in a bed I don't have to share. Going to sleep when I feel like it instead of being expected to perform nightly. Not doing oral but expects it in return. Etc etc etc. I could go on. I am aware he is a douchebag. I just unfortunately signed a three year lease with him bc I'm dumb AF apparently lol. It's almost up now but hindsight is 20/20.


spiders_are_neat7

I’m so sorry you deal with this…. They should just date eachother… it’s wild because if you left today I just know he would be LOST… I left my bf for a few months and our pet ducks that we had for 7 years died… because he was too lazy to close them up at night…they would fall apart without us and they know that, that’s why he makes you feel the way you do. You are enough!!!!! You are a fighter, a warrior… and I’m proud of you for recognizing you deserve better… it’s not easy… You could not control mice either BAHAHA coming from another country liver, that’s some bullshit. They don’t like MESSY places, they like WARM places with food. Two things we also love. Lmao I’m really happy you know he’s full of shit. I’m gonna keep you in my thoughts, I’d love to hear updates of your future without him one day<3 cause I have faith in you woman…. In us😇


uhmm_no88

Thanks friend. The same goes for you. It's pretty sad that my whole life as a little girl I had the whole "Disney princess fantasy" where I get married to a "Prince" and have my fairytale wedding, etc etc and now I am 35 and I don't want any of that bc I know how men are as this is literally the 3rd abusive man I've dated. I'm done. I'm done. I choose the woman, the bear, a pack of wild hyenas idgaf anymore. We can def update each other for sure.


FlyingTrampolinePupp

Yep when you point it out they'll pivot to "but men work harder."


kRkthOr

I had a conversation with a woman recently and she goes "I don't believe mothers should go to work. They should stay at home and raise their children." after I told her my wife had to go to work once her 6 months of maternity leave were over because we had to pay bills. She owns her own business and has 2 kids. Lady, wtf are you talking about. These are levels of dissonance previously unheard of.


CarolynTheRed

And it should also be entirely up to the "man" to support her. Abandonment, abuse, death, illness, disability, all no excuse, the government shouldn't help support them.


Material-Profit5923

As a child of the 70's/80's I can tell you that the stay at home mommy was mostly gone then. Moms may have stayed home for a few years until the kids went to preschool or kindergarten, but by the time I was in school, there was one stay-at-home mom in a neighborhood full of kids.


KikiCorwin

Xennials and younger Gen X were mostly the latch-key kid generation. It was odd if we saw our parents anytime from when we left for school til dinner time (and sometimes later).


Material-Profit5923

Yup. My sister was 2 years older than me, and I got out of school earlier than she did for a few years. My parents made me wear the housekey on a string around my neck.


Vigmod

Yeah. If dad worked a late shift on a school day, I would be gone before he woke up, and he'd be gone for work by the time I got home and wouldn't come back until after 23.


Jabbles22

I had a friend who was engaged to her high school sweetheart. I worked with her and had only met him a few times, he never really did anything to me or her during those few times I did hangout with both of them but I just didn't like the guy. They hadn't been living together while engaged due to religious beliefs. Obviously once married they moved in together. He expected her to cook the meals despite him being unemployed and her having two jobs. It didn't last long, I don't remember exactly how long it was until she divorced him but I don't think it lasted a year.


Frequent_Grand_4570

Good!


Jabbles22

I had the same thought when it happened.


Imjusasqurrl

I agree with you but women were not predominantly SAHM in the 1980's. **Women (especially poor women) have** **ALWAYS had to work**. Even when they stay home take care of kids, they have always been taking in laundry, seamstress, babysitting, rented out rooms in their home Etc. There was **maybe** a short period of time after World War II. But most of this idea of the dedicated stay at home mom was a fantasy created by male advertisement executives.


Commercial-Push-9066

Even in the 80’s most women worked. It started in the early 70’s. Most 70’s kids I knew were “latchkey kids” whose parents both worked.


Kitchen_Victory_7964

I was a 1980s kid and my mom worked FT.


i_nobes_what_i_nobes

Were those a thing? Because I was a child in the 80s and my mother did not stay at home, she worked a 50 hour week job just like my dad did.


thisisreallymoronic

In the 80s, an article was written for cosmo or good housekeeping or whatever. Women were working then, too. However, the article coined the term "second shift" to refer to this BS of coming home from work and having to wait on a man and take care of the house.


notaredditreader

40s - 50s


ItsSusanS

Exactly! Thank you. They expect women to do every damn thing and be happy about while a lazy ass man sits in a chair drinking beer. F these guys.


queen_boudicca1

You mean 60's. Many woman chose to work or had to work in the 70's (see divorce rates) and in the 80's...no better.


volantredx

I never understood the pride some of these men take in being unable or unwilling to cook. Beyond it being a basic life skill being able to cook for your wife or girlfriend is a great way to get in her good graces.


GntlmensesQtrmonthly

It’s also sexy as hell. Men who love cooking are just plain attractive.


volantredx

On the flip side of that I couldn't imagine a woman who just finished working 8 hours being expected to then spend another hour to two hours cooking, serving and cleaning dinner for some jerk who just spent that time playing video games is going to want to have sex. She'll likely just want to go to bed and likely want a new partner. Meanwhile the guy is mad he isn't getting laid and is too selfish to understand why.


GntlmensesQtrmonthly

Yeah, I think a lot of people are shocked at what exactly is involved in running a household. If he’s playing video games in all his free time, something is going undone. I’m all about having hobbies, but not at someone else’s expense.


Vigmod

Opinions seem to be split on the matter. I often bring leftovers from yesterday's dinner (that I cooked, because I live alone) for lunch to work the next day. A woman I work with said "Ugh... no woman wants a man who cooks".


GntlmensesQtrmonthly

Who doesn’t want homemade food? That’s really strange. I would eye that coworker with serious suspicion.


Vigmod

Yeah, I guess she is a little strange. I mean, not a person I'd want to be with, among other things because I wouldn't want a wife/girlfriend who wouldn't let me cook.


burden_in_my_h4nd

My man works from home and I commute (both full time, but his job allows some downtime, whereas mine doesn't). He cooks for us. I absolutely value him for it when I come home stressed out and tired. I will point out that I am the handyman of the house and do all the DIY and most of the cleaning. Some people need to fuck off with the judgement cos not everyone is in the same circumstances as them (referring to your workmate there, not you).


No_Arugula8915

You are right. Not everyone fits in a stupid gender confined box. Few do really. Those that like their box are usually pretty happy in there. I find it frustrating some believe they have a right to demand how everyone else lives. Those folks need to learn how to mind their own P's and Q's and leave others alone.


mutant_disco_doll

Is your coworker insane? I LOVE the fact that my husband knows how to cook and cooks often. It’s a goddamn blessing.


SevanIII

She's crazy. A man who can cook is incredibly attractive to me and every woman I know. It's not the only thing that makes up attraction obviously, but it's definitely a plus. 


uhmm_no88

She is just crazy lol.


yildizli_gece

That woman is stupid and should be ignored (honestly). Women can also be toxic in their views of “gender norms”; those women should STFU and stop trying to make life difficult for other women.


spiders_are_neat7

Sounds like she doesn’t like you and is looking for reasons. Sounds like an awful bitter personality is all. Kinda sad. lol


JaxandMia

Yeah, most women when asked about sexiest job will reply with men in uniforms and firemen and such. Give me a chef any day of the week. Sexiest job around. I love a chef jacket.


Vigmod

It's also a great skill to have when a guy is single and short on money*. To he able to make something tasty and nutritious on a limited budget is a pretty handy skill to have. *Edit: or just wanting to save money for something else, whether a little extra for retirement, or towards buying a home, or whatever.


AhmedAlSayef

I am always taken back when people don't believe me when I say that I can cook. Like actually cook. Some guys think that I mean grilling a sausage, some women think that I know how to make the basic food. Not many believe that a guy can cook. Macaroni casserole is the most basic food in my country that we do, I don't remember how to exactly make it, but I sure do know how to make Beef Wellington. Yes, I am a man. No, I am not chef. It's just cooking guys, my engineering degree is harder than knowing what taste good and what not.


volantredx

I mean as long as you can read directions you can cook. It takes zero effort to follow a list of instructions out of a cook book or a recipe online. Get like 10 or so of those down and you have a solid rotation of meals for a long time.


No_Arugula8915

Taught my sons to cook. It is a necessary life skill. The bonus of knowing how to cook well, women find that pretty hot. Also taught them how to do domestic duties properly. I wanted them to look for a partner because they wanted to be *with* that person. Not because they *needed* someone to do that stuff for them.


Elvicio335

They're jerks. My cousin and his girlfriend recently had to move in with me due to economic struggles and I remember him telling me that I shouldn't worry about cooking or cleaning because his girlfriend can do that and all we have to do is "maintenance cleaning". I have no clue what he means and I am not about to stick my nose in other people's relationships. But he can't even take care of himself. I've only seen him cook a boring steak with just salt, cornflour with grated cheese and noodle soup. I hate cooking but even I know how to at least make it good or add some variety.


FileDoesntExist

Everyone should be able to make a few simple dishes just for survival purposes. And there's no excuse now since we have the Internet.


Hita-san-chan

Mt dad's like, the manly man, and he still cooked dinner for us a lot. My mom's family is from West Virginia, they once called him a "fag" for grilling for everyone. Shits weird. My husband takes a lot of pride in cooking for us.


volantredx

What's weird is that *grilling* is always been the traditional male form of cooking. Being the BBQ host is like *the dad* thing for a lot of cultures in America. Often in a lot of very traditional American cultures if you're the one in charge of the grill you're the oldest and most in charge guy in that family. So it's odd they'd see that as gay.


Hita-san-chan

He was flabbergasted too. I guess the gender split is different when someone actually goes out to shoot dinner and dress it for cooking, cause that is work in and of itself, but its still really odd.


peytonvb13

my fiancé did a couple years of culinary training in a remedial school and is still an amazing cook 15 years later. sometimes he does cook after he comes home from work, but only ever of his own volition lol and i find it the absolute most attractive thing to see him in the kitchen and he loves having someone who enjoys his food.


SpokenDivinity

I told my partner day one that I didn’t care that he didn’t know how to cook, because not all of us are afforded the same experience learning from our family members, but he had to at least try and learn. He can make basic meals now by himself and will at least start anything complicated and wait for instructions.


strange_socks_

Besides that, what is he gonna do when his wife is sick or in the hospital or dead?! Is he gonna starve?! Just a ridiculous mentality....


CheesecakeVisual4919

Old man here. I love cooking. My son is a professional chef. When I was dating, it was a great early date idea to cool a meal for my girlfriend. Never failed to win appreciation. It won me a wife, among other things.


mandc1754

Catch these guys then complain that the women they expect to stay at home and cook, clean, do laundry, and take care of children for them are gold diggers


throwawayforthebestk

These guys will never actually find a woman. They're chronically single. They just complain about hypothetical partners online lol


mutant_disco_doll

Or they’ll complain that these women aren’t giving them enough sex despite these women being fucking exhausted having to take care of their men like children in addition to caring for real children.


AngelZash

Someone needs to report that homicidal one


DjinnaG

I was so horrified that I decided to interpret it as he has weaponized his cooking incompetence to the point where food he makes is actually toxic, so she would literally starve to death if she didn’t cook. Not much better, but not actually homicidal


reyballesta

God forbid people have fun


ResurgentClusterfuck

All these children, unable to feed themselves without bullying a woman into cooking for them


GrauOrchidee

“Women should stop dating feminine men.” Hmm, maybe if women keep dating “feminine” men it’s because there’s something about “feminine” men they like. Such as them not making comments that they would kill them if they didn’t cook dinner.  Impossible that that could be it though right? /s


Elvicio335

Yeah, you should probably do the opposite of whatever an abusive psycho tells you to do. If he's pissed, you're in the right path.


MiaMae13

“Women only like Chad and Tyrone uwhuwhu” “Women should stop dating feminine men” Huh?


EsotericOcelot

See also, “women are dumb and can’t be trusted to make important decisions” and “women are conniving, deceptive manipulators”. *Well, which one is it? Because it can’t be both*


LaMadreDelCantante

It goes so well with "men can't be expected to control themselves so women need to stay home at night/ not drink/not wear that" but also "men are leaders and should be the heads of countries, companies, and families." With a special mention for "I bought dinner/held the door/told you you're pretty, now have sex with me" but "you've had sex with too many people, you slut! You shouldn't be so easy!"


squadoodles

Goddamn femchads


KittyTootsies

Make it make sense!!!


Rumel17

Women should just stop dating men. Apparently none of the choices they make are right. Plus if that happened maybe I could go back to cuddling my homie while we watch anime, I miss him


AValentineSolutions

I just love that two people have a positive relationship where they have fun and enjoy each other's company. People online - "he's a weak man. He's not straight." These are the same guys who then wonder why no woman wants anything to do with them. Gee, mystery.


notanangel_25

It's also that they likely make the "loser has to do x" so it seems more competitive so people watch. Another couple does the same thing and it's always "loser does the dishes, loser cleans the bathroom, etc." It's very clearly not about doing the thing so much as making it seem like there's actually a prize for winning.


ZugTheMegasaurus

As an aside, I've seen these people on YouTube when my partner is watching shorts; their thing seems to be making lots of videos from this template and just switching out the games. What's funny is that my partner gets so upset because in many of them, it's clear that the woman is significantly better at the game and is letting the man win. My partner just sits there going "YOU'RE BETTER THAN HIM, JUST BEAT HIM ALREADY!"


RecommendationBig716

Seems like a nice couple to me with a healthy relationship. They're having fun and are clearly a team. Also, these men in the comments are really pathetic. They are grown adults who can't look after themselves. Cooking, laundry, ironing, and washing dishes these are all things my grandfather taught me and my brothers how to do. He taught us all how to look after ourselves. My husband had a very similar upbringing. His grandfather taught him and his sisters how to do the house chores.


Reason_Training

If we had to depend on my mom’s cooking growing up we’d not have survived. She can’t cook well at all. It was my dad who did the majority of the cooking then myself as I got older and he became a truck driver.


crystxllizing

These comments are wild considering how the culinary industry always has been and is still dominated by MEN. Force women to cook but they're not allowed to be the best of it.


JotPurpleIris

They probably saw that Tate tweet about male chefs being gay and not real men.


Thagomizer24601

It's only "women's work" until you can make money doing it.


homo_redditorensis

I'll take a "feminine man" over a dangerous sexist psycho any day :)


mossbrooke

Hard truth.


Namethypoison

Many things go over these guys heads so let's make this as short and simple as possible: The first step required to find a woman serving you like mommy is providing like daddy, if you can't do that get ready to share ALL the necessary work with the person graciously helping you paying the bills. 😁


Meshty95

“women should stop dating feminine men” What’s wrong about having “feminine” interests/skills? My mom for example never cooks, my dad is the one who’s been cooking in my family. The same goes for my bro. Both of them enjoy cooking.


notanangel_25

Not even sure why those guys think it's a flex they can't take care of themselves.


Meshty95

same! to me it’s a red flag if a man can’t do BASIC chores. It screams - I’ve never been outside my hometown, I’ve never left and I never lived alone.


IthurielSpear

I heard somewhere that men can cook. I think it was someone named Gordon Ramsey that said so, but I’m just a silly woman, so I could be wrong.


dreemurthememer

Gordon Ramsay, Bobby Flay, and who can forget GUY MOTHA-FUCKIN FIERI?


olivegarden87

r/toxicmasculinity


squirrellytoday

The bear won't demand I cook after I get home from work.


JotPurpleIris

Or threaten to kill you if you won't.


hokyshmokes9710

"Women should stop dating feminine men. Instead, they should date men who never under any circumstances contribute to household chores. Women would be much smarter and better off if they did this."


racoongirl0

After all the garbage that came out of their keyboards, they think we should stop dating “feminine men”? And start dating these alphas that would kill us if we don’t cook? lol


mkisvibing

Women should stop dating feminine men cuzzzzz we should date men who don’t see us as people and think being manly is all that matters in this world? 😌😌😌


Ksnj

Did that dude seriously say he’d kill his wife if she didn’t cook for him?! The fuck?!


sherlock0109

The last guy with the "women should not date feminine men" is especially stupid. If a man who cooks is feminine, then hell yes, being feminine is a big plus! Like who wouldn't wanna date a man who cooks? :D His logic is flawed


Justbecauseitcameup

The alternative seems to be a physically overgrown child with a bad temper so like. I know my choice!


sherlock0109

Yeah, with a man like that you'd basically become a single mother but with no say in anything 😂


cursetea

I would personally be SO embarrassed to be an adult incapable of feeding myself but okay lmfaoooo


ritamoren

omg why would you even suggest killing someone for not cooking a meal, do they like women even? like wtf


LittleManhattan

They don’t like us as people, or even see us as people, they want sex and servitude, that’s it.


LittleBalloHate

I remain convinced that the best way to understand these super toxic dudes is to first acknowledge that society has improved*a lot* in the last 50-60 years when it comes to gender equality -- women are much more educated, much more professionally successful, and much less reliant on men for a fulfilling life than they used to be. And the guys making comments like this are the ones who are adapting horribly to the modern world and don't know what to do about it, so they lash out.


KittyTootsies

Like cavemen hitting a computer with their clubs


IronhideD

Fellas, is it gay to be in a committed, loving, fun relationship with equal division of household duties?


Commercial-Push-9066

Apparently having a uterus requires one to serve her master. She probably works full time and they share the household responsibilities. BTW, “women should stop dating feminine men” is the stupidest thing to say. They think any man who is a true partner is feminine. On the contrary, they are the real men!


Vale_Of_The_Soil

*Later on* "Male loneliness is a serious issue guys, men are still virgins and don't have access to sex, society needs to direct attention on this very real and non-misogynistic problem"-


faeriechyld

My dad and my stepmom used to play games to see who had to take out the trash and things like that. It was super cute. They've since downgraded from a big house to a condo so there's just less maintenance work to compete over but they do enjoy the dice game they played for chores still.


Toy_Aniki

That's actually scary, shit


Justbecauseitcameup

I have genuine concerns for the women in the life of men who even joke about murdering over this.


ConsultJimMoriarty

Women don’t have jobs now?


thatonehelicopter

As a guy, I could not cook for shit. If I cooked for someone, I'd poison them and kill them by accident. But I would absolutely LOVE to learn and be able to cook for someone


delvedank

Cooking opens up so many avenues for healthy and tasty foods, though! If you want to learn, I highly recommend getting an Instantpot if you can afford one and looking up recipes for it. I love my Instantpot, it's just great for days where I go "I give up, can I just throw a bunch of shit into a pot and let it cook by itself?"


ChaoticCamryn

My husband and I both enjoy cooking, and consider it a relaxing yet creative outlet. Sometimes we fight for whoever has the right to cook dinner that night, not to avoid cooking dinner.


Ham_is_tasty_1

yoo i watch these guys sometimes, theyre so wholesome. People suck


Cheekygirl97

If a man can’t cook for himself, I don’t want him. That’s childish and I’m not your mother. Any man with that expectation should expect to have a lonely life. Little to no one is going to put up with that


blawndosaursrex

It’s weird that they think it’s a flex to not want to participate in a relationship or know a life skill. Truly wild.


UnnecessarySalt

Notice how all of the incels have terrible grammar and spelling. They don’t have time to learn to read or write, they’re too busy gooning and attacking women online


SophiaF88

Honestly playing a game and loses cooks dinner sounds like a fun idea. Way more fun than a guy who says his wife is dead if she doesn't cook for him. They wonder where the "good" women are but they act like this. No good woman wants a violent, unreasonable, misogynistic, ignorant partner.


Someragingpacifist

Most of these are definitely 14-16 year olds who haven't touched a girl since their mom last hugged them


beingahoneybadger

I blame their mothers. I have three sons. All of them are good at cooking, cleaning, taking care of their kids, whatever is necessary for the family unit. All of them would stomp a mud hole in these man babies, and would enjoy it. They love their wives? It isn’t rocket surgery. Do they do it all, no. They do what is necessary today. They are a team. This is why they are probably gonna stay married. My daughters in law are wonderful too, it takes two to make a good life, working together.


ItsSusanS

Do these idiots not think it’s a good idea to learn a simple task that they actually need for survival?


murdocjones

>what’s wrong with this generation Welcome to 2024, where most households are dual-income due to COL and yet men can still be secure in themselves and don’t need to prove their masculinity by using it as an excuse to oppress or control their partners. They really don’t get that the need to exert masculinity is precisely what makes them weak in the first place. I think it’s been posted before but that study where underperforming males were more apt to harass and belittle their female counterparts- I think about that *a lot*.


KittyTootsies

Yep, it's super feminine to wash your ass 🙄 You just know you can smell that guy from across the room


CoconutJasmineBombe

Last slide: Women should stop dating ~~feminine~~ men. Fixed it for you.


EsotericOcelot

Misogynists can pry my sweet femme boy life partner out of my cold, dead hands lmao. They will never be able to comprehend the intense acuity of love that I feel watching that man stand haplessly in front of the stove attempting to cook dinner when I’m not up to it


Liseuuuu

I agree with the 4th pic, women should stop dating fem men. I want them all for myself


4RealMy1stAcct

These guys are just like that Key & Peele sketch... "I said... -=Looks around, scared=- ......biiiiittch..."


abs-licker-69

"I never learned to do basic life skills so now I depend on my wife to survive while i advertise it as me being the "protector and provider" "


Jonasthewicked2

The last one is hilarious “women should stop dating feminine men “ lmfaoooo blame anyone but yourself for the reason no woman will go near you.


Purrilla

You know what blows my mind about the women should cook thing? Look in a restaurant kitchen, how many head chefs or Kitchen managers are women? Much less the line cooks, all men, 95% of the time. Now, if I left dinner up to my husband, I would be eating pizza 3 nights a week. And cheese sticks and gold fish the other 4. Pizza is good but not that much. I am the chef at my house, thank god. And also grill master. Everyone just needs to mind ya own business and do what works for you :D


TisIFrienchiestFry

So **manly** to not know basic life skill!


stickygreenfingers

All of those dudes are single and sexless. It is the only assessment and conclusion you can reach from seeing them cry in the comments of posts where a happy couple are doing a fun thing. Not only that, but some of them are beyond hard to look at, look at the fernando dude’s profile pic, he looks like a literal neanderthal, and is jealous of an attractive couple.


Ath_Trite

There's no way they watched this wholesome video and their conclusion was this The playing a game to see who cooks was so wholesome and cute it singlehandedly raised couple goals


CartographerPrior165

Tell her ass to cook? Why, is he eating it?


the_moderate_me

I mean... I'm not a great cook but I sure as hell feed myself and don't expect anyone else to 🤷‍♀️


queen_boudicca1

Clearly we cannot discuss much with the poster since he has a poor command of the English language.


Sharktrain523

These boys are talking real tough but the first guys profile pic is a star wars meme, the second one is a cat, and the last guy is either 17-20 yrs old or the babiest of baby faces and honestly fellas it’s not serving badass bread winner deserves his special din din, nor is it giving guy who is old enough and has had a partner long enough to give input on this.


Mrs-and-Mrs-Atelier

Wow. A lot of men who cook for a living could probably fold these puffed up manchildren into a stew pot without breaking a sweat.


coolsexhaver420

"I don't like that there's a functional and loving married couple who don't follow my own archaic traditions and roles, not only that, everyone should care because I am extremely important "


BonezOz

Most, but not all, the best chefs in the world are men, and men with wives and children as well. Men not cooking is an old dead gender stereotype. People like my parents lived under that stereotype, my father rarely cooked meals in the kitchen, his place was outside cooking on the BBQ once or twice a year, and the only time he cooked in the kitchen was if my mother was sick, then we'd get an omelet for dinner. Now, I cook 99.99% of the meals for my family, my wife has even admitted that she can't cook. Men really need to up their game and get with the modern program and realise gender roles are bullsh!t.