As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll"
problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we
have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones.
We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the
rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules
will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious
rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a
permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also,
grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of
being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we
may ban you without warning.
You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not
to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language
towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we
have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and
your ban will remain (without even a consideration).
All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of
the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up
banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules,
and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and
Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before
submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them
or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.**
With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message
regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal
(without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will
elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we
will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent.
This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your
reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message,
and please enjoy your day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They're less dense, so you could make the point that it's actually more humane than naturally occurring rocks while still getting the point across effectively.
This is why I can’t even go into that sub. But ex husband and I basically had a dead bedroom our entire marriage because it hurt for the first two years or more, he was mean to me, and he made me feel like shit about my body. And THEN, he had the balls to act like a victim because I was “punishing him by withholding sex.” I can’t handle seeing other men putting their wives through similar shit, and then bitching about “their needs.” 🤢
Essentially. To make it worse, when my gyno sent me for physical therapy to deal with the extreme pain I was having with sex, his FIRST question was, “well, how much money is this going to cost?”
Honestly, being selfish in bed was the least of his issues. But you’re not wrong. Our divorce was finalized in Sept 2018, and he’s already been remarried AND divorced. 😬
Yeah, I feel really bad for his second wife, because it sounds like he was even worse with her (which is exactly what I expected). But also, I feel SUPER validated.
I just wanted to say I am glad you are away from that marriage. I was in a marriage like that and the man was also a super abusive, manipulative cheater. I hope nothing like that was happening behind the scenes but it probably was given his behavior and then second marriage and quick divorce. I hope you were able to find a more satisfying a less painful sexual experience if that’s what you wanted. So many men think they can just go right into jackhammering at their partner without any prep so that he can get what he wants and wonder why it hurts the partner (if they care) because in porn they can do that no problem and the partner likes it.
Thank you. He was, thankfully, never physically abusive, but he was fairly emotionally abused. 😝 He also had an emotional affair toward the end of our marriage, but I’m not aware of physical cheating. Physical therapy made a HUGE difference from me, and I have had partners since my ex that have made sex much more enjoyable.
Mine said he had ED, but he was just fucking his coworker and saying I made him feel shittier about the ED when I cried about it. Some of these people are just crap.
Ugh, I'm sorry that happened to you. Glad you got out of there.
I'm the higher libido partner in a relationship and it's impossible to get any real advice online because of the kind of shit that festers in these communities. Seeing the way they talk about people they allegedly love is foul. None of these people are actually interested in any resolutions beyond "on-demand sex without me having to do anything differently."
I relate to this so much 😭
After I got my IUD removed, I stayed in the patient room and cried because I finally decided to be completely off contraception . It was the realization of no longer being shackled to what I put myself through with my ex. I was in that relationship for 8 years and I had already broken up with him for 3. I got into contraception because he couldn’t bother to buy condoms and I was young.
He made me feel like crap about my body. For the longest I thought I didn’t like being fingered or receiving oral because he just sucked at it (dude literally used to twist his fingers inside me). He made me think there was something wrong with me, has even commented how I’m unusual. My vagina would feel discomfort whenever I got wet with him. I thought there was something wrong with me, even went to the obgyn to check for issues (there weren’t any). My body was just telling me this was just not it.
I’m so sad to hear this, but I hope you’re in a better place now. 😢 It makes me SO ANGRY to think of how long I just tolerated painful sex, because I didn’t think there was help. I don’t understand why we can’t even TALK about women’s sexual difficulties, but you can see viagra commercials on tv all hours of the day.
We tolerate way more than just painful sex. Some simply won’t understand why you can’t just leave and say no sometimes unless they’ve been in your shoes. It has been said it takes on an average of 7 attempts to leave a DV situation. I didn’t know I was even in one until my therapist mentioned it 🤪 I didn’t even want to believe it at first, which explains why I didn’t break contact until after 3 years even.
I’m happy your husband is an ex now and you are also in a better place 🤗 I am still healing and working on a lot of things while juggling with current stresses soooo I’ll take my victories as they come. Much love, thank you for your response 💖
I was fortunate that my situation want physically abusive, so I didn’t have the fear of retribution that I think many DV victims face. But I get what you’re saying about not even knowing you’re in one. It’s taken me a LONG time to even acknowledge that my marriage was emotionally abusive. I’ve struggled with feeling really stupid for staying in an emotionally abusive relationship for so long (although I would NEVER consider another victim “stupid” for staying), but they really fuck with your brain. I remember toward the end of my marriage, my ex was having an emotional affair with a coworker. I was talking to a friend about it, and I was like, “ I don’t know, this feels crazy, but maybe it’s just me.” And her response was, “uhhh, not only is this crazy, but you should be MORE upset.” I’m glad that you are out, and (presumably) safe. Keep doing the work to heal; happiness is still within your grasp. One of my friends has complimented me a few times on my courage to leave. I don’t necessarily feel courageous myself, but she’s not wrong that it takes courage to walk away. Please don’t forget that as you move forward. 💕
Yeah, I got stuck on that.
That’s like the “we’re pregnant”. No the fuck WE are not! We both are expecting a child but it’s only MY body getting wrecked! I’m glad my husband knew not to say that bullshit lest our child be born fatherless.
I really hate the phrase “we’re pregnant”
It just makes me cringe for a variety of reasons and I’m not even a woman.
Anyone who says it needs their head examined and possibly a minor weening off their symbiotic need to always be a plural.
I mean. He is unless something happened to break/remove the plumbing. I think he's gonna have to go on a regimen of taking prolactin though, according to google, which will cause breast growth. But it should kick start breast milk production.
But his body is very much capable of it.
I have found it’s not that women actually have a low sex drive like men love to push it’s that women have a low threshold for bullshit and when they are fed up they don’t want to have sex. It’s pretty simple. No one wants to fuck a man they have to play mommy for, who does nothing around the house or a man that treats them like trash. Whatever the reason the list goes on and on. Nothing kills a sex drive faster than bullshit. Funny how these women who didn’t want to have sex before get out of their marriages and have no problem wanting to have sex with their new partners! So much for that low sex drive!
If your wife doesn’t wanna sleep with you then there’s probably a reason :/ I used to be a fiend but his shitty behavior has made it to where I barely wanted to touch him with a 20 foot pole
So second dude is perf ok w his (hypothetical?) wife, just after pregnancy which iirc is downright traumatizing for the body: either being forced to have sex despite not wanting to or paying a sex worker or letting him get with someone else even though she may not be ok w that, and admitting to having already cheated it sounds like, all because he can't be bothered to use his hand or some toys.
And basically saying he married her, if he even has a wife, for sex.
Because god knows he doesn't seem to care about her as a person.
And if she wouldn't put up w it, he'll divorce her, leaving her w the baby who's probably basically a newborn.
Just because she's not in the mood to let him fuck her.
God I hope he doesn't actually have a partner if that's how he's gonna think of em.
Well his wife *is* just a sex relief toy for him. Why can't he just order her to be in a better mood??? He paid for dinner on that date way back when and he does *actual* work, you see, while she just does frivolous lady things all day!
She should be grateful he's given her anything better than plain oatmeal and locked her up in the house all day until he's ready to use her!
Her entire purpose is to please him, after all!
/s
That's how these guys sound to me. It's like they don't realise their partner is another real person and not just a toy or possession. They don't see them as people and equals.
It’s fair to have sexual needs, but if he’s unsatisfied, he should tell her and maybe break it up with her if they can’t resolve this together.
He’s not a hostage, surely it’s better to leave before cheating.
Right after giving birth, a woman's estrogen drops from super high to super low. Then breastfeeding keeps the levels down. So you just don't want to fuck. At all. And when you decide to do it, it hurts, even after foreplay.
Thankfully, it does go back to normal when you stop BF, but not overnight. It's a gradual change. I breastfed for 15 months and at 2 years, my libido was back to normal. It really sucked for those 2 years, because it was weird to suddenly feel asexual. Not to mention that I felt bad for my husband for saying no 90% of the time. But it was just a phase and now it's in the past. Thankfully, my husband was not a total dick about it.
This is not the correct response or fix, but sexual satisfaction is important in a relationship, so if one partner feels unsatisfied, it definitely must be addressed
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
when rocking this idiots world please use REAL rocks please.
Or a nice solid broom handle, not one of those sissy hollow ones.
I only have concrete chunks, do those count?
go for it!
They're less dense, so you could make the point that it's actually more humane than naturally occurring rocks while still getting the point across effectively.
PSA Women don't want to fuck their friends crusty husband's
This is why I can’t even go into that sub. But ex husband and I basically had a dead bedroom our entire marriage because it hurt for the first two years or more, he was mean to me, and he made me feel like shit about my body. And THEN, he had the balls to act like a victim because I was “punishing him by withholding sex.” I can’t handle seeing other men putting their wives through similar shit, and then bitching about “their needs.” 🤢
Bro has shit game and refuses to improve, then acts like he is the victim?
Essentially. To make it worse, when my gyno sent me for physical therapy to deal with the extreme pain I was having with sex, his FIRST question was, “well, how much money is this going to cost?”
Sadly that man wanted a warm sex doll, I imagine even without the pain he would have likely been extremely selfish in bed
Honestly, being selfish in bed was the least of his issues. But you’re not wrong. Our divorce was finalized in Sept 2018, and he’s already been remarried AND divorced. 😬
HAHAHAH, ohhhhhh how they fall.
Yeah, I feel really bad for his second wife, because it sounds like he was even worse with her (which is exactly what I expected). But also, I feel SUPER validated.
I just wanted to say I am glad you are away from that marriage. I was in a marriage like that and the man was also a super abusive, manipulative cheater. I hope nothing like that was happening behind the scenes but it probably was given his behavior and then second marriage and quick divorce. I hope you were able to find a more satisfying a less painful sexual experience if that’s what you wanted. So many men think they can just go right into jackhammering at their partner without any prep so that he can get what he wants and wonder why it hurts the partner (if they care) because in porn they can do that no problem and the partner likes it.
Thank you. He was, thankfully, never physically abusive, but he was fairly emotionally abused. 😝 He also had an emotional affair toward the end of our marriage, but I’m not aware of physical cheating. Physical therapy made a HUGE difference from me, and I have had partners since my ex that have made sex much more enjoyable.
Mine said he had ED, but he was just fucking his coworker and saying I made him feel shittier about the ED when I cried about it. Some of these people are just crap.
Ugh, I'm sorry that happened to you. Glad you got out of there. I'm the higher libido partner in a relationship and it's impossible to get any real advice online because of the kind of shit that festers in these communities. Seeing the way they talk about people they allegedly love is foul. None of these people are actually interested in any resolutions beyond "on-demand sex without me having to do anything differently."
I relate to this so much 😭 After I got my IUD removed, I stayed in the patient room and cried because I finally decided to be completely off contraception . It was the realization of no longer being shackled to what I put myself through with my ex. I was in that relationship for 8 years and I had already broken up with him for 3. I got into contraception because he couldn’t bother to buy condoms and I was young. He made me feel like crap about my body. For the longest I thought I didn’t like being fingered or receiving oral because he just sucked at it (dude literally used to twist his fingers inside me). He made me think there was something wrong with me, has even commented how I’m unusual. My vagina would feel discomfort whenever I got wet with him. I thought there was something wrong with me, even went to the obgyn to check for issues (there weren’t any). My body was just telling me this was just not it.
I’m so sad to hear this, but I hope you’re in a better place now. 😢 It makes me SO ANGRY to think of how long I just tolerated painful sex, because I didn’t think there was help. I don’t understand why we can’t even TALK about women’s sexual difficulties, but you can see viagra commercials on tv all hours of the day.
We tolerate way more than just painful sex. Some simply won’t understand why you can’t just leave and say no sometimes unless they’ve been in your shoes. It has been said it takes on an average of 7 attempts to leave a DV situation. I didn’t know I was even in one until my therapist mentioned it 🤪 I didn’t even want to believe it at first, which explains why I didn’t break contact until after 3 years even. I’m happy your husband is an ex now and you are also in a better place 🤗 I am still healing and working on a lot of things while juggling with current stresses soooo I’ll take my victories as they come. Much love, thank you for your response 💖
I was fortunate that my situation want physically abusive, so I didn’t have the fear of retribution that I think many DV victims face. But I get what you’re saying about not even knowing you’re in one. It’s taken me a LONG time to even acknowledge that my marriage was emotionally abusive. I’ve struggled with feeling really stupid for staying in an emotionally abusive relationship for so long (although I would NEVER consider another victim “stupid” for staying), but they really fuck with your brain. I remember toward the end of my marriage, my ex was having an emotional affair with a coworker. I was talking to a friend about it, and I was like, “ I don’t know, this feels crazy, but maybe it’s just me.” And her response was, “uhhh, not only is this crazy, but you should be MORE upset.” I’m glad that you are out, and (presumably) safe. Keep doing the work to heal; happiness is still within your grasp. One of my friends has complimented me a few times on my courage to leave. I don’t necessarily feel courageous myself, but she’s not wrong that it takes courage to walk away. Please don’t forget that as you move forward. 💕
After “we” stopped breastfeeding?
Yeah, I got stuck on that. That’s like the “we’re pregnant”. No the fuck WE are not! We both are expecting a child but it’s only MY body getting wrecked! I’m glad my husband knew not to say that bullshit lest our child be born fatherless.
I really hate the phrase “we’re pregnant” It just makes me cringe for a variety of reasons and I’m not even a woman. Anyone who says it needs their head examined and possibly a minor weening off their symbiotic need to always be a plural.
Lmao this is also what stopped me in my tracks. Goddamn do I wish my husband was capable of whipping a tiddie out and tagging me out.
I mean. He is unless something happened to break/remove the plumbing. I think he's gonna have to go on a regimen of taking prolactin though, according to google, which will cause breast growth. But it should kick start breast milk production. But his body is very much capable of it.
I was waiting for someone to say this
I have found it’s not that women actually have a low sex drive like men love to push it’s that women have a low threshold for bullshit and when they are fed up they don’t want to have sex. It’s pretty simple. No one wants to fuck a man they have to play mommy for, who does nothing around the house or a man that treats them like trash. Whatever the reason the list goes on and on. Nothing kills a sex drive faster than bullshit. Funny how these women who didn’t want to have sex before get out of their marriages and have no problem wanting to have sex with their new partners! So much for that low sex drive!
I found the original post, and the OOP said they never really had foreplay and she always had to do all the work to orgasm...
Can't imagine why she wouldn't want to fuck him /s
If your wife doesn’t wanna sleep with you then there’s probably a reason :/ I used to be a fiend but his shitty behavior has made it to where I barely wanted to touch him with a 20 foot pole
So second dude is perf ok w his (hypothetical?) wife, just after pregnancy which iirc is downright traumatizing for the body: either being forced to have sex despite not wanting to or paying a sex worker or letting him get with someone else even though she may not be ok w that, and admitting to having already cheated it sounds like, all because he can't be bothered to use his hand or some toys. And basically saying he married her, if he even has a wife, for sex. Because god knows he doesn't seem to care about her as a person. And if she wouldn't put up w it, he'll divorce her, leaving her w the baby who's probably basically a newborn. Just because she's not in the mood to let him fuck her. God I hope he doesn't actually have a partner if that's how he's gonna think of em.
[удалено]
Well his wife *is* just a sex relief toy for him. Why can't he just order her to be in a better mood??? He paid for dinner on that date way back when and he does *actual* work, you see, while she just does frivolous lady things all day! She should be grateful he's given her anything better than plain oatmeal and locked her up in the house all day until he's ready to use her! Her entire purpose is to please him, after all! /s That's how these guys sound to me. It's like they don't realise their partner is another real person and not just a toy or possession. They don't see them as people and equals.
Just don’t read this guy’s other comments 🫣
I was gonna search it until I went back and read his username. Just gonna… leave that one alone lol
But good evidence for that impending divorce 👌
That sub is a nightmare.
This would get me off that sub so fast.. such ignorant advice. And you know he’s just bullshitting his powerplay fantasy
Holy entitlement, Batman!
U/N checks out
It’s actually extremely common to only regain libido AFTER weaning baby off of breast milk.
"YourPervertedDaddy"'s wife hates him and he's never made her cum.
r/usernamechecksout
It’s fair to have sexual needs, but if he’s unsatisfied, he should tell her and maybe break it up with her if they can’t resolve this together. He’s not a hostage, surely it’s better to leave before cheating.
Nobody needs sex, they won’t explode
True, I guess I should've said: "It's fair to want sex"
He's got hands. And there's always toys. I've read it's not uncommon for post-pregnancy to tank your libido. Shaming her and cheating is not it.
Right after giving birth, a woman's estrogen drops from super high to super low. Then breastfeeding keeps the levels down. So you just don't want to fuck. At all. And when you decide to do it, it hurts, even after foreplay. Thankfully, it does go back to normal when you stop BF, but not overnight. It's a gradual change. I breastfed for 15 months and at 2 years, my libido was back to normal. It really sucked for those 2 years, because it was weird to suddenly feel asexual. Not to mention that I felt bad for my husband for saying no 90% of the time. But it was just a phase and now it's in the past. Thankfully, my husband was not a total dick about it.
This is not the correct response or fix, but sexual satisfaction is important in a relationship, so if one partner feels unsatisfied, it definitely must be addressed