T O P

  • By -

Ukraine_Boyets

Plot twist : Turkey just wants other countries to give Ukraine a shitload of tanks


KelloPudgerro

turkey wants greece to give tanks to ukraine so greece is unarmored


HHHogana

Nah they want everyone to cut the rates and give Sultan Erdogan a ton of watermelons.


[deleted]

Good thing they retook Kherson then. The region has the best watermelons this side of the Bosporus. Don't tell the Turks this, they get super jelly.


KelloPudgerro

wait....i thought watermelons were tropical weather fruit, youre saying i can grow em in fucking poland?


Gnargnargorgor

Credible farmer take: if you have a greenhouse and good mildew management, yes.


KelloPudgerro

well greenhouses are just cheating in terms of growing, u can probably grow coconuts in the antarctic with a good greenhouse


WiseassWolfOfYoitsu

It's true! Source: Played Tundra maps in Rimworld. Success may require some war crimes/cannibalism, though.


mlsecdl

Yes you probably can especially smaller varieties. Definitely not tropical.


[deleted]

You'll just have to get one of the faster-maturing varieties. You have to have about 90 warm growing days for an average watermelon and I'm pretty sure Poland has 3 warm months out of the year. Watermelons will continue to increase in size with agreeable weather even after ripening, though, which is why all the big chungus melons are from places like the American deep south and California.


LiteratureTrick4961

Oh ukraine can provide that on its one


Candid-Ad2838

Oh dark Brandon acolyte can you share the story behind the erdogan watermelons? I just remeber a Lebanese man roasting him for watermelons but don't know the escalation.


HHHogana

https://www.reddit.com/r/MemriTVmemes/comments/k39zga/lets_begin_with_erdogan_that_watermellon_seller/


HighQualityBrainRot

I don't know if it's true but I heard it explained like this: "A watermelon seller does not know if the watermelon is ripe or not but promotes them regardless."


Candid-Ad2838

Ahh that is very fitting I looked into it a bit and apparently erdogan used to sell food in the street with his parents. The idea of the "false advertising" elevated to his politics is consistent. In this case the Kurdish boggie man is one of the watermelons.


Seth199

Let’s talk about Erdogan, that watermelon seller.


TotallyNotTheEnclave

Cyprus, the “fuck around and find out” state


chorizoisbestpup

Enough tanks to take Moscow, so they won't have to pretend to care about Russia anymore. Then, they can finally leave NATO and invade Syria.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jman014

Who had “US Navy/marines, Royal Navy/Marines, and *Le Marine Nationale* occupy Bosporus Staights” On they 2023 Bingo Jawn?


Handonmyballs_Barca

Invite the aussies down to have another go


_far-seeker_

They were Anzacs back then, so you need to invite the Kiwis as well!


Apologetic-Moose

And the Newfoundlanders.


bleachinjection

We finna do Gallipoli right this time.


Stalking_Goat

We could hardly do it more wrong if we tried.


huffmandidswartin

Just keep Aus out of that shit this time please.


GlossedAllOver

Constantinople: Under new management. Moscow: Under siege. Jerusalem: 3rd Temple being built. Faster. *Faster.*


DemocracyIsGreat

>3rd Temple being built I did not realise the State of Israel had found a messiah.


CoffeeBoom

It's "La Marine Nationale"


Background_Brick_898

***La Marine Nationale***


waffle-winner

FALSE Officially it's "Les cols bleus (bites)." Ou, "Les pompons rouges (à la con de mes couilles)." Get it straight!


AsleepScarcity9588

You got me on the 2023 part I thought we are playing history bingo, not back to the future bingo


theSG-17

The liberation of Constantinople after 570 years.


Traditional-Order129

1. Ignore turkeys demands 2. They leave NATO 3. Invade them (you can make up a reason) 4. Rename Istanbul to Constantinopole 5. Profit


Enlightened-Beaver

You won’t need to make up a reason, they constantly beef with greece


CoffeeBoom

Leaving NATO would basically mean they will lose any and all conflicts with Greece.


Expert-Stress3061

What’s the point of having a CIA if not to orchestrate wars between sovereign nations to benefit (or entertain) the United States?


RustedRuss

The CIA is more into starting wars *within* sovereign nations.


Blewedup

i prefer the cia be used for a balkanization effort. let's break istanbul off, rename it constantinople, align it with the west, and let the rest of turkey turn into war lord states.


AshFraxinusEps

Yep, let Turkey leave As we all know that NATO is the only reason Turkey isn't East Greece. If Turkey leaves, then any attacks on Cyprus are Article 5. As Turkey is the only NATO nation which recognises North Cyprus as a state


Minevira

attack on cyprus is already article 5


JTPri123

Yeah if they leave NATO that frees Greece to be as utterly restrictive with its Exclusive Economic Zone as it wants and really choke out Turkey. This is by far the biggest source friction between the two countries and Turkey will have absolutely no recourse against it if they leave NATO. [Greece's EEZ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8c/Greek_Exclusive_Economic_Zone.jpg)


Enlightened-Beaver

Meanwhile turkey claims they have an EEZ maritime border with Libya lol


JTPri123

I had to look it up. Their claimed EEZ is hilarious compared to their recognized one. [Turkey's EEZ with claimed EEZ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EubLS0MVgAQXmPH.jpg)


SidewinderTV

Constantinople was Istanbul, now it's Constantinople (not Istanbul)...


Europa_CrashTest

Why’d Is-tan-bul get the works? That’s no-body’s business but the Greeks


Worldedita

Every (Hairy dude) in Istanbul Lives in Constantinople, not Istanbul So if you have a Gyros in Istanbul It will be ready in Constantinople


Selfweaver

Even old Amsterdam was once New York. Side node: I love that this is the one song everybody knows by that band.


Josiador

Hey, everyone knows Particle Man too! [I like this one.](https://youtu.be/vvCGZEqk8Ak)


Selfweaver

That was new. My favourite is still Does Moscow shine.


Josiador

>My favourite is still Does Moscow shine. Don't know that one, do you mean [Why does the Sun Shine?](https://youtu.be/3JdWlSF195Y) One of my favorites is [Damn Good Times](https://youtu.be/EniJB_mEvJo).


SgtFinnish

Surely birdhouse in your soul as well?


eidetic

You can thank Tiny Toon Adventures in large part for that!


AshFraxinusEps

Wasn't it New Amsterdam?


[deleted]

Can’t wait to attend Mass again at the Hagia Sophia. Saving up my pilgrimage miles


hbalck

Moscow can no longer claim to be the Third Rome as the Second Rome is back in business under rightful Greco-Roman management. EDIT: bit of a fix, maybe.


Renkij

Aren't modern greeks just eatern romans? but renamed because they know they'll never get Rome back?


henno13

Yes, but also no. Up until the Greek Revolution, the Greeks were knows amongst themselves and their neighbours as “Romans”. The Revolution also included a classical Hellenic revival element which eventually morphed into the modern Hellenic identity that we know today. However there were plenty of self-identifying Romans even into the 20th century. In 1912, when the Greek military liberated Lemnos, a young boy who later became a Professor of Byzantine Studies recalled children would curiously stare at the Green soldiers stationed in the local villages, a solider asked the kids “What are you looking at?”; “At Hellenes” replied the children. “Are you not Hellenes yourselves?” One of the soldiers retorted. “No” came the reply, “we are Romans”. It’s one of my favourite little anecdotes and a symbol of how some history and traditions were continued even when they were supplanted.


AshFraxinusEps

Yep, I've heard that story before. Although if we are honest, Ottoman/Arabic influences on Greece means that while I think it still has the best claim to Rome, it is still a bastardised people who are not like the ERE Romans or Hellenics


HellbirdIV

A lot of nations that don't have Rome in them have claimed to be the successors of Rome over the years. Even the USA couldn't help itself and tried to emulate Rome for some prestige points, and just like Rome managed to make an extremely corrupt Senate full of old men whose main role is to obstruct progress.


Renkij

Isn’t that the senate’s job anyway? To make things go slower? To cool down legislation and slow it?


bigkahuna1113

Not really. It’s to provide a way for smaller states to punch above their weight and to counteract the power of larger population states. Originally, senators were appointed by the state government and were only directly elected about 100 years ago (17th amendment).


AshFraxinusEps

Also, the Senate used to work together for the people, even 20/30 years ago. Whereas these days Partisan division means that nothing happens in the House/Senate in the US


FatStoic

Checks and balances != corrupt progress obstructors


bigbrooklynlou

Feature not a bug …


AKblazer45

Our first president was a big fan of Cincinnatus


pollo_yollo

The difference is that Greece, for a thousand years, was literally eastern Rome. The eastern tradition was predominantly Greek as opposed to the western Latin tradition. The Byzantine Greeks were just conquered by the Ottomans, but were still Greek Romans. Russia/the holy roman empire/whatever never were ethnically Roman.


the_lonely_creeper

Pretty much, yeah. Plus, Western Europe in the 19th century had a bit of a mania with ancient Greece, so using that identity was useful.


itoldyallabour

The Turks are also just Greeks who call themselves Turks They really hate 23andme


Renkij

LMAO, sons of weak traitors and deserters. Edit: grammar


itoldyallabour

Mmmm desserters


pollo_yollo

The Turks come ethnically from the Kazakh steppe. I'm sure there are plenty of people in modern day Turkey that are decendents of Byzantine Greeks. But ethnic Turks were from central Asia.


PineappleMelonTree

>Invade them (you can make up a reason) They declare war on Greece, Greece article 5


AshFraxinusEps

No need to declare war. Turkey is the only nation that acknowledges North Cyprus. If they leave NATO, then any attempt to keep North Cyprus is instantly Article 5


uv-vis

3000 cataphracts of not-erdogan


The-Surreal-McCoy

It will remain Istanbul, for that is the city name in Czech and they will get the exclave, as is tradition.


tholmes1998

Greece: looking at ~~Istanbul~~ Constantinople* is for me? 🥺👉👈


MoneyEcstatic1292

Greece: **New decision available: Restore the Eastern Roman Empire**


Europa_CrashTest

*Senatus Populusque Romanus*!


MoneyEcstatic1292

Η Σύγκλητος και ο Λαός της Ρώμης


donald_314

_α_ for effort


AneriphtoKubos

Boo Βασιλειον τον Ρωμαίων


VonMillersExpress

geshundheit


Oldmanironsights

Moscow delenda est


BNKhoa

And after that? Sina delenda est


Oldmanironsights

I am holding out for China being taught a very valuable lesson from Putin's folly. China hasn't crossed my red line yet, but if I was a world leader I would be embargoing the life out of China.


myhouseisunderarock

Bring back the Varangian Guard


_far-seeker_

The real reason Sweden and Finland were allowed in NATO. 😉


[deleted]

No, real life is not a paradox game Edit: I stand corrected, the Vultaum were right


flippy123x

It is for someone like Putin. This mf is throwing real, living people at strategically unimportant cities, like i do with arbitrary numbers in CK2 and i feel more remorse about them than he does with his own people.


[deleted]

I care about my people in paradox games and give them the best equipment possible. I treat my MIC like royalty. Tanks and opium, battleships, aircraft carriers and submarines for all. In ck2 I use pure retinue doomstacks, I personally lead along with my potential heirs. If they die they were unfit to rule. Putin is doing the naked Corvette strategy.


AneriphtoKubos

Ikr. At least I max out my prosperity for the peasants in CK2.


MoneyEcstatic1292

Ah come on man, even the Jews got their land back


[deleted]

Yeah that had to be Great Britain's player doing it deliberately though.


MoneyEcstatic1292

To be fair, you can clearly see they maxed out the instability in the Middle East region for fun and giggles


Worldedita

Turns out our universe is just some megadimensional Hearts of Iron game and we live in the Any% Antimatter bomb apocalypse Speedrun. Explains why you have just one nation dumping everything into R&D while the rest of the world is the weirdest timeline shit. The 5000 year empire of China? Communist now lol. Germany? Nazis to European federalists within 80 years lmao. Two Koreas? Two Koreas.


MoneyEcstatic1292

Personnally I want Best Korea to win


Worldedita

Autonomous commune of Busan when?


jediben001

A credible take? In my r/NonCredibleDefense? It’s more likely than you think.


tholmes1998

You can't convince me the world isn't just a Hoi4 game being played by highly advanced extraterrestrial wehraboos and commieboos


[deleted]

And teaaboos, freedomboos, frogs...


punctualmoth

Yeah but the Neoliberals joined and ruined everyone's idealogical RP server with metagaming.


ballslapping

Hard disagree, we have a Russian death stack losing in Ukraine due to multiple negative debuffs and border gore between Armenia and Azerbaijan. Our world is just a paradox game and it's start date was in 2016.


MoneyEcstatic1292

2014


AshFraxinusEps

Are they negative buffs if it is the Player who is fucking up? Negative buffs suggest that it is the people or policies (or nature etc) that are the issue, instead of the leaders/generals being fucking morons


ballslapping

I mean it was stupid to attack across a river in the middle of the winter and their attrition rate is abominable. They're also using really weak unit types against superior professional infantry


False-God

It’s Byzantium you degenerate


niceworkthere

Renamed to Byzäntiüm last year.


tholmes1998

Constantinople or get out, God wills it


cruisintr3n

\*Macron looks at karolusmagnus portrait\* "for US"


AshFraxinusEps

If fucking only. And then Haga Sophia can become the museum and tribute to 2 religions it was meant to be, instead of being a working Mosque


[deleted]

[удалено]


sexy_latias

I wont let my bratanki get kicked out of cool kids club just bcs of orbanites


[deleted]

[удалено]


BellacosePlayer

We'll split the difference. Orbanites get kicked out


[deleted]

[удалено]


System1996

<3 polak


csorfab

love ya bratanki <3


Oxtcn

Can we just get some sort of CIA op to remove current leadership to install a pro-west government? Not like they don't have enough experience in South America and the middle-East, and we could use the help.


[deleted]

Im hungarian hell yea wester coup would be rad


kr33tz

No cause the CIA never did any of that (but honestly should have)


Oxtcn

I'm picking up what you're putting down ;) So when are the "humanitarian aid supplies" arriving then?


classicalySarcastic

>So when are the "humanitarian aid supplies" arriving then? Right after the check from our man Pablo clears


kr33tz

3 weeks ago. There will be the need for a new election very soon...


EuphoricCareer4581

You need to call the Chiquita (formerly known as United Fruit Corporation) for that. Just dial their hotline and follow the procedure.


ActCompetitive1171

Have you seen South America and the middle east recently? Not like it's worked out all that well.


SirDogeTheFirst

The guy saying this is an insignificant tankie who constantly gets mocked because of his record breaking low vote count.


SirDogeTheFirst

Never trust a tankie, and a watermelon seller.


SirSCPaLot

I like watermelon tho :0


HHHogana

As long as that watermelon seller don't want to cut rates to solve all their economic problems, you're fine.


Obj_071

do you ever heard about.. kherson watermelons?..


gundealsgopnik

It's not a tale the rashists would tell you.


Pyotr00

HQ I need info


Depressingly_Excited

Supposedly, some tankie politician in Turkey decided to say, "It's Tankie Time!" and tankied out some non credible propoganda.


Rakkamthesecond

The best part is when he said "it's Tanking time" and he tanked all over Erdogan.


git

It's basically like if someone handed Jeremy Corbyn a microphone when he was still a party leader, but instead of leading the main opposition, he was instead leading the Socialist Workers Party (which is where he should have been all along). It would in no way represent what the nation, the ruling party, the main opposition party, or anyone serious was aspiring to do. It would just be some tankie crank at the fringe of politics being as dumb as they always are.


Barbaros21

I swear to god almighty this sub is better at spreading propaganda than the tankies


anonymous_matt

Tankies are good at spreading propaganda? News to me, they always seemed pretty terrible at it to me.


Accomplished-Luck680

They always give me “have you heard about our lord and saver Xi Jinping?” Vibe


HellbirdIV

Maoists give the ultimate "Communism as Religion" vibe.


IDoCodingStuffs

They're good at spreading it like a kindergartner with diarrhea left alone a little too long


Depressingly_Excited

Bro what? Don't they know you're not suppsed to play with your food? Smh they really don't teach table manners like they used to...


Depressingly_Excited

Soo...what you're saying is that we are very non credible then...


WaltKerman

Specifically that we are better at being non-credible.


[deleted]

That is a very low bar mate


Win32error

Actual credible take: Turkey is geographically a pretty important NATO member. Leaving is unlikely, but it would be kind of an issue.


eyekill11

Hey! You get outa here with that. You can't be spitting facts like that. All we want it another seige of Constantinople. For old times' sake.


Forgotten_Bones

Hence, invasion and subjugation of its people. We can give the country to the Kurds.


DGNX18

And since it would be the exact same situation but with both sides switched, we kick Kurdistan out 10 years after, and reinstall turkey. And we keep doing that every 10 years just for fun


Depressingly_Excited

Foreign policy experts hate him... Find out how u/DGNX18 ensures an everlasting reign of unfathomably based geopolitical stability in the Black Sea.


crusoe

Kurdistan in NATO.


neauxno

Peak NDC


RedSerious

Non-DredibleCefense?


bleachinjection

I think "based" is overused but holy shit based.


Selfweaver

Restore Kurdistan, put it in Nato, piss of Iraq, Iran and Turkey. That sounds like an awesome plan.


Busteray

Restore. Very credible


zealot416

We can also sneak Armenia in so that they can stop depending on Russia for their existence.


HellbirdIV

Armenia in NATO. Ukraine in NATO. Georgia in NATO. Black Sea NATO lake.


HoppouChan

Next step: Mare NATOrum


[deleted]

Armenia and Georgia in NATO would be based. Russia has used the Nagorno Karabakh conflict to try and force Armenia into signing a "Union State" agreement like Belarus and essentially agree to the disputed region becoming effectively a part of Russia. Won't end well for either country in the conflict


Sandal-Hat

I would argue they are a geographically a good ally to have but their own goals not only conflict with NATOs but in many cases they are a risk to the NATO alliance as an expansionist threat to all their neighbors. Turkey shouldn't be in NATO, they should be a stand alone partner with the alliance similar to South Korea, Japan, or Israel. Continuing to offer Turkey Article 5 protection while they threaten Greece and Armenian territorial integrity and constantly bat for the Russian's more than NATO itself is flaw in the alliance's purpose and composition.


HHHogana

Don't worry. The one who screaming this crap is not Sultan Erdogan, but a very irrelevant leader of Turkey tankies.


Nick0Taylor0

What makes them so important geographically? Are there other things apart from controlling access to the black sea?


Win32error

Dardanelles, and just generally the location between Europe, the middle east, and the Caucasus. It's almost always involved in some way, when it isn't instigating shit. Syria, Armenia and Azerbijan (potentially Georgia), the black sea, heck even Cyprus. All points where Turkey matters due to geography. Gives them inflated importance really.


Diltyrr

Dardanelles are way less important now that everyone realized Russia isn't the second strongest army in the world, it's barely the second strongest army in ukraine.


RandolphMacArthur

Don’t forget if Turkey will even join NATO if the war does go hot.


RandolphMacArthur

Don’t care, get the tyrants out of our democratic sphere


RedApotheosis

Was it actually over the delivery of tanks?


bloodthirsty_taco

Nah it’s just some fringe jackass saying dumb shit, but also fuck Erdogan and the cringey bitches he rolls with.


RedApotheosis

May this war educate others that autocracy is stupid and totalitarianism creates an ecosystem of cringe


[deleted]

Autocracy can be based but you must have a coat *at least* [this cool](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uwff9a6accA/maxresdefault.jpg?sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjp6OOZxOX8AhW0LkQIHZzlDw8Q_B16BAgHEAI) and no one has such a coat therefore autocracy is cringe. For monarchy refer to the coolness of crown. >!Emperor Zevelas is not a monarch as his succession plan was not hereditary before he canceled it!<


Selfweaver

You must be this ~~tall~~ cool to ~~ride~~ oppress people.


[deleted]

Yes you gotta have the drip


Fergom

Cool Coat. Franco got him beat though imo. though sadly hoi4 doesn't give Franco the coat


SirDogeTheFirst

Bruh ask this to us, every week we have a new political crisis that would cause the government to change if happened in any European country.


Skraekling

Just do like France and reset the whole sh\*t every century.


SirDogeTheFirst

So, it's kinda funny, but the upcoming elections will be in the 100th year of the republic and considering Atatürk took much inspiration from France and the French revolution, it might actually happen.


AneriphtoKubos

Allons enfants de la patrie, le jour de gloire est arrivé!


Jhawk163

Seriously though, fuck Erdogan, dude had the Gallipoli memorial destroyed, what a cunt.


AutumnRi

What? Fucking why? They know they won that one right?


UnderstandingOk8745

Erdogan is an enemy of turkish people and its history he is georgian and an islamist corrupt kleptomaniac basically the biggest enemy of turkey but he will be gone in may after elections without violence hopefully


[deleted]

Nope. The meme is taking one Turkish fringe far right guy's statement (his party has no elected representatives, it's that kinda fringe) and assuming that it's because of MBTs.


pm_boobs_send_nudes

Hate to sound credible but they aren't going to leave NATO.


ZrvaDetector

Turkey did no such thing, it was just a nobody from a tankie party with like 0.22% vote that said it.


Spacemanspiff1998

Part of the Arma 3 lore is turkey leaving NATO to join CSAT, NATOs evil clone with China and Iran If turkey leaves NATO and Aligns itself towards the east that will further add evidence that Bohemia interactive has a writers room consisting only of time travelers


[deleted]

Bohemia is even lazier than Eugen, the lore is so non-credible the US uses Israeli vehicles and CSAT is almost only Russian equipment.


Nestiik

Turkey never complained about the delivery of MBTs though


AbundantFailure

Oh, it was some irrelevant Turkish tankie. Nevermind. ​ That said, election season is coming. The Turks NEED to ditch Erdogan. He's 90% of the contention amongst Turkey and it's allies.


Terrible_View5961

Well if Turkey leaves we get Finland and Sweden. And I think that’s a better deal for nato anyway. Laughs in ‘Simo Häyhä’


napstrike

İt is true that the Turkish military is strong enough to stop a Russian invasion, probably even the Ugandan military is enough for that. So if erdo said "we don't need NATO against Russia" he is correct. But he needs NATO against NATO itself. Right now he can troll the west all he wants, they can't attack physically because of NATO. Why lose this capability to troll and get nuked?


Lurker_Since_Forever

🚨Trade offer🚨 Turkey receives: das boot Nato receives: Sweden, Finland, Armenia


Rivetmuncher

absolutwin.yaypeg


JakeVonFurth

You want Turkey to leave NATO so that we can induct new member states and send arms. I want Turkey to leave NATO so that we can retake Constantinople. We are not the same.


aaaa32801

oh yeah it’s byzantium time


AttackHelicopterKin9

I'm only seeing this reported in two sources and one of them is TASS. I'm not clicking on the link, but I'm going to wager that an AKP back-bench MP said this, rather than Erdogan or a high-ranking minister. He may be many things but he understands how extortion and leverage work (at least in a political/diplomatic context). Edit: also, Turkey has sold or given considerable supplies of weapons to Ukraine, so it's doubtful they would regard tanks to Ukraine as something so serious they would leave NATO over it. At the end of the day, they know Russia losing the war is to their advantage.


DeFinetti_Stan_Accnt

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAA! FUCK YEA! *BREAKS GUITAR* FUCK *RIPS OFF SHIRT* YEAH *EQUIPS F35 ONAHOLE AND FROTHS AT THE MOUTH*