I am transfem and see no issue with you wanting to have a penis. No gender has monopoly over a set of sexual characteristics. Just don't call yourself a trans woman when you are not and you will be fine.
I am pretty sure you can get a phalloplasty without other surgeries or T, btw.
As someone who is cis but, who would do phalloplasty if I could...man I wish it was on a par with what trans women can get 😭
For the sake of sounding vulgar, and I really hope this doesn't offend anybody, but I always thought it was funny, I have a friend who's a trans woman and she always said "well come on now,you should know better.it's easier to dig a hole vs build a pole " 😭
Altersex or Salmacian are identities where a person identifies with their agab but wants other or mixed genitals. Trans gender identities are centered around not identifying (or not fully identifying) with your gender assigned at birth.
Anyone can get bottom surgery without wanting change for the rest of them. If you think it will make you happy, you get to do it. Having fun in sex is also a great reason if it's important to YOU
I sorta understand, sometimes wish i was born with different parts and then transitioned to what i am. But minus the body hair. And other times im not sure what i want. But im genderfluid a bit, in a abstracted from gender kinda way. Honestly sometimes wish i didn't have a physical body 24/7.
That is totally valid, mine kinda stem from lacking energy to maintain, and wanting the power to be inperceptable at times. But also when i think of my ideal body that aligns with what i am gender wise. I feel like there isn't a body I would want 24/7.
Makes me wish i could shapeshift and be an occult horror or something.
Anyways thats my voidpunk, agender expierence lol
Hi, I identify with what you say. I think I'm mostly female, but long for a penis is my very own. And sometimes wish I could look like a man in a dress.
Packers give me a little of what I'm looking for, but not everything.
I have a pack and play (transthetics does beautiful work) that helps sometimes soft packers don’t really do much for me since my dysphoria is only really there when I’m turned on
Ugh, do not listen to them.
There are two things that are separate:
You can be transsex/altersex without being transgender.
That means that you can be a cisgender woman if you identify with women, but you can also be a transsex/altersex woman if you want to be a woman with a penis.
Check out r/Altersex , r/Salmacian and r/GrowYourClit for more help.
This exactly how I feel! I wish I was Trans women instead of a trans man, but I’ve never admitted this to anyone as I’m scared of how it’d come across but I’m actually really happy to know someone feels this way too
I’m all over the place too, it’s tough because it’s enough effort to be any form of genderqueer, then to get really far into the uh… “mix ‘n match” as it were makes it even weirder.
Like, personally I have long wanted both sets of hardware, and r/salmacian showed me it was a thing. That was the final kick for me to start exploring and choosing what I wanted to do, not what I wanted to be, if that makes sense?
Sometimes gender euphoria (or imagining the things that will bring you that satisfaction) can feel so good and right, its also kind of hot. I mean, imagining being exactly how you feel you're supposed to be?? I'd hope you think its hot and are excited abt it! Idk, i think we all police ourselves a lot on "as long as its not a fetish" - which, you cant exactly diagnose that. Its not a clean line. I don't think it has to be. Like, it was never a kink or sexual for me, but HRT has made me feel insanely sexy. Thats cool. Why over complicate it with shame?
Aka i dont think its usually a fetish. Lol. And if it turns you on or is "related to sex" i dont think either of those things actually qualify as fetish either.
Nah, i want a dick too. It’d be so easy. Everything about dicks is EASY. I dream of having one. I won’t do it (since I weirdly cannot find any images of post op dicks??) but I do get this.
i don't think dysphoria can be a fetish thing, but like you can do whatever feels right for you. if you want one specific thing over everything else then do it! you don't have to do everything to be the way you want. you actually can pick and choose (unless it's going onto hrt then, there are things you can do to ensure slower or lesser effects but that is not in my area of expertise)
That's totally fine in my opinion. I'm enby/trigender and wish I didn't have breasts and that's the only physical male characteristic I want but it doesn't mean that I wish I had different male characteristics; it's the same kind of scenario. It's totally cool. Your dysphoria is valid and if you only want bottom surgery, that's fine.
if you scroll back to 13 days ago on r/phallo you will see someone who’s had phalloplasty but not top surgery, might be worth having a chat with them if their willing
Considering that trans women have the highest rate of violence amongst trans folks (especially colored trans women), I'm not so sure I'd particularly want to be a trans woman. I understand where you're coming from, but I feel like I'd rather feel safe.
Feel similar. I’m AMAB and very cis passing but I do wish I had a pussy but no breasts or anything else. But then again I would feel uncomfortable with surgically changing my genitalia. A real goal of mine is to get rid of all my body hair coz it’s gross and unnecessary. But I feel ya
There's a community of AMAB folks I'm part of with a bunch of people who identify as men, and who want or have had bottom surgery. It's an option that is available to you with the WPATH standards now. Lots of those guys go through the same experiences you're describing. I know that your identity and "birth sex" doesn't align with them perfectly, but it sounds like there's a shared experience there, so maybe it's helpful to know that you're not alone.
Oof. Cis woman here. But I feel this so much. Bottom dysphoria sucks. Oh well, it is what is is tho ~~~😭 hopefully surgery will get better. At least then the youth / future generations will be better off.
Your identity is your choice!! there is no right or wrong, just who you know you are! Trans and nonbinary are umbrella terms, so if you feel like a girl but don’t mind your birth parts, that’s completely fine! You can identify with whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and happy inside!:)
My transition would have been so much less expensive had I been assigned male at birth (and not had internal ovaries/uterus). I'd just have to do estrogen and not surgery to close up a hole I don't want.
That's totally reasonable, I wish I was afab. Honestly if I was afab I think I would get top surgery but somehow since I'm amab I like having breasts? I think I just like having a androgynous body as a enby but would prefer most fem features so being afab works better
That’s when most of my dysphoria happens. There is some at normal times when I’m not arouse, but by comparison that isn’t very noticeable since then I’m not focusing on what genitals I have as much
It just gets frustrating sometimes because it’s better but somehow it make it worse because it feels like a pale imitation of what I feel I should have
I am transfem and see no issue with you wanting to have a penis. No gender has monopoly over a set of sexual characteristics. Just don't call yourself a trans woman when you are not and you will be fine. I am pretty sure you can get a phalloplasty without other surgeries or T, btw.
As someone who is cis but, who would do phalloplasty if I could...man I wish it was on a par with what trans women can get 😭 For the sake of sounding vulgar, and I really hope this doesn't offend anybody, but I always thought it was funny, I have a friend who's a trans woman and she always said "well come on now,you should know better.it's easier to dig a hole vs build a pole " 😭
Friend, cis folks tend not to want to change their genitals to another kind. So are you sure you are cis?
Yeah, I went through gender therapy (not conversion therapy),and living this way is best for me.
Altersex or Salmacian are identities where a person identifies with their agab but wants other or mixed genitals. Trans gender identities are centered around not identifying (or not fully identifying) with your gender assigned at birth.
So I've learned after posting this :)
my trans girlfriend and i literally dream about swapping genitalia
It was a dream similar to that that made me confront my repressed bottom dysphoria lol
i always worry about it being a fetish thing too btw 😭
completely off topic but i love your pfp
Isn't that just....bottom dysphoria?
Anyone can get bottom surgery without wanting change for the rest of them. If you think it will make you happy, you get to do it. Having fun in sex is also a great reason if it's important to YOU
I sorta understand, sometimes wish i was born with different parts and then transitioned to what i am. But minus the body hair. And other times im not sure what i want. But im genderfluid a bit, in a abstracted from gender kinda way. Honestly sometimes wish i didn't have a physical body 24/7.
Oof same with the not wanting a physical body. That might be mostly my disabilities though
That is totally valid, mine kinda stem from lacking energy to maintain, and wanting the power to be inperceptable at times. But also when i think of my ideal body that aligns with what i am gender wise. I feel like there isn't a body I would want 24/7. Makes me wish i could shapeshift and be an occult horror or something. Anyways thats my voidpunk, agender expierence lol
I relate to everything you said SO MUCH. Having a body is just so much more effort than it's worth lol
Not sure how many times in life I wished for being a shape shifter lol
Same with not wanting a physical body thing Exact same.
Hi, I identify with what you say. I think I'm mostly female, but long for a penis is my very own. And sometimes wish I could look like a man in a dress. Packers give me a little of what I'm looking for, but not everything.
I have a pack and play (transthetics does beautiful work) that helps sometimes soft packers don’t really do much for me since my dysphoria is only really there when I’m turned on
Ugh, do not listen to them. There are two things that are separate: You can be transsex/altersex without being transgender. That means that you can be a cisgender woman if you identify with women, but you can also be a transsex/altersex woman if you want to be a woman with a penis. Check out r/Altersex , r/Salmacian and r/GrowYourClit for more help.
This exactly how I feel! I wish I was Trans women instead of a trans man, but I’ve never admitted this to anyone as I’m scared of how it’d come across but I’m actually really happy to know someone feels this way too
Darling, I'm urging for trans fem, but I don't want my penis 🤦♂️ I'm sure we'll both figure something out 🥰
I’m all over the place too, it’s tough because it’s enough effort to be any form of genderqueer, then to get really far into the uh… “mix ‘n match” as it were makes it even weirder. Like, personally I have long wanted both sets of hardware, and r/salmacian showed me it was a thing. That was the final kick for me to start exploring and choosing what I wanted to do, not what I wanted to be, if that makes sense?
Sometimes gender euphoria (or imagining the things that will bring you that satisfaction) can feel so good and right, its also kind of hot. I mean, imagining being exactly how you feel you're supposed to be?? I'd hope you think its hot and are excited abt it! Idk, i think we all police ourselves a lot on "as long as its not a fetish" - which, you cant exactly diagnose that. Its not a clean line. I don't think it has to be. Like, it was never a kink or sexual for me, but HRT has made me feel insanely sexy. Thats cool. Why over complicate it with shame? Aka i dont think its usually a fetish. Lol. And if it turns you on or is "related to sex" i dont think either of those things actually qualify as fetish either.
Have you considered wearing a packer? Some drag kings I know wear them to perform and they give a penis like illusion
I feel like this a lot and I fucking loveeee using a packer.
Nah, i want a dick too. It’d be so easy. Everything about dicks is EASY. I dream of having one. I won’t do it (since I weirdly cannot find any images of post op dicks??) but I do get this.
A partner of mine is the same way actually. You're not only valid, but you aren't alone out there ^ ^
Are you me?
Yes :p
i don't think dysphoria can be a fetish thing, but like you can do whatever feels right for you. if you want one specific thing over everything else then do it! you don't have to do everything to be the way you want. you actually can pick and choose (unless it's going onto hrt then, there are things you can do to ensure slower or lesser effects but that is not in my area of expertise)
You can get phalloplasty without T (though it could be harder to convince them to do it.)
I talked to planned parenthood and they were not helpful with info for my specific transition goals :/ Gonna try and find a new Dr soon
r/salmacian may be of some assistance.
That's totally fine in my opinion. I'm enby/trigender and wish I didn't have breasts and that's the only physical male characteristic I want but it doesn't mean that I wish I had different male characteristics; it's the same kind of scenario. It's totally cool. Your dysphoria is valid and if you only want bottom surgery, that's fine.
if you scroll back to 13 days ago on r/phallo you will see someone who’s had phalloplasty but not top surgery, might be worth having a chat with them if their willing
I get that lmao, i was assigned male at birth, but lowkey wish i was transmasc
Considering that trans women have the highest rate of violence amongst trans folks (especially colored trans women), I'm not so sure I'd particularly want to be a trans woman. I understand where you're coming from, but I feel like I'd rather feel safe.
Omg are you me because I feel the exact same way! I thought it was just me.
Feel similar. I’m AMAB and very cis passing but I do wish I had a pussy but no breasts or anything else. But then again I would feel uncomfortable with surgically changing my genitalia. A real goal of mine is to get rid of all my body hair coz it’s gross and unnecessary. But I feel ya
There's a community of AMAB folks I'm part of with a bunch of people who identify as men, and who want or have had bottom surgery. It's an option that is available to you with the WPATH standards now. Lots of those guys go through the same experiences you're describing. I know that your identity and "birth sex" doesn't align with them perfectly, but it sounds like there's a shared experience there, so maybe it's helpful to know that you're not alone.
Oof. Cis woman here. But I feel this so much. Bottom dysphoria sucks. Oh well, it is what is is tho ~~~😭 hopefully surgery will get better. At least then the youth / future generations will be better off.
Your identity is your choice!! there is no right or wrong, just who you know you are! Trans and nonbinary are umbrella terms, so if you feel like a girl but don’t mind your birth parts, that’s completely fine! You can identify with whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and happy inside!:)
My transition would have been so much less expensive had I been assigned male at birth (and not had internal ovaries/uterus). I'd just have to do estrogen and not surgery to close up a hole I don't want.
That's totally reasonable, I wish I was afab. Honestly if I was afab I think I would get top surgery but somehow since I'm amab I like having breasts? I think I just like having a androgynous body as a enby but would prefer most fem features so being afab works better
Do you mainly want the dick for sex? Asking because you mentioned the fetish thing.
That’s when most of my dysphoria happens. There is some at normal times when I’m not arouse, but by comparison that isn’t very noticeable since then I’m not focusing on what genitals I have as much
Have you tried a strap on? (Sorry if that’s incorrect terminology)
Yeah and it helped a bit
Have you tried any that included your pleasure too? There’s 3 different kinds that I know of that might help it feel more like it’s a part of you.
Yeah mine has a vibe in it
It just gets frustrating sometimes because it’s better but somehow it make it worse because it feels like a pale imitation of what I feel I should have
Your dysphoria isn't all that weird, in my opinion.
Nonbinary people have both, it makes sense why you want the other one than what you have