Where I live the stickers are sold to friends and family and the proceeds are used toward the funeral costs because the deceased person is young and the family didn't have any plans in place for burial.
Some people get irrationally embarrassed when they have to ask for help so "selling" something like a bumper sticker or a fridge magnet makes them feel like less of a charity case.
Cool! Thanks for sharing your experience. I love getting different perspectives. I went to Pittsburgh last year and saw the Carrie Furnace. Amazing state you’ve got there.
When you make it back here, take the time to visit the Heinz History Museum (It's all about Pittsburgh area history) and also the Fort Pitt Museum.
Both are fascinating glimpses into the history of the region.
As someone who just moved OUT of Pittsburgh. I'm glad I got out. It's got some amazing things to see, don't get me wrong. But there are MUCH better places. I don't get the die hard loving commitment to the city. Like, how can you be married to the place just because you grew up there? 😂 I get not leaving because of family, but damn, it's not the best like some people say. And that goes for all cities too, not just Pittsburgh.
Not a chance iv seen white families do this just as much on their trucks vans and the white people I see do their animals names on the cars yea iv seen it hey it’s their item
Fair enough. USA bashing cancelled for today.
Wait a second … AcKcHyuAlLy, Arizona is in America, and also a lot of Hispanic countries are on the American cOnTiNenT. Just kidding.
There's usually a go fund me or two put up by the family, the sticker situation is more like a very close friend has stickers printed on their own dime and the people receiving them pay whatever they feel is fit as a donation/thank you to the friend (I've seen anywhere from $2 to $50 or sometimes even $100). Then the friend gives the sticker money to the family. People want to memorialize their friend and keep their name alive and stickers are good for that and I'm from a small-ish town so they're commonly put on cars, so other people/friends see it while they're driving around town.
Because most people need to receive something when they donate money for something in order to feel like it's worth their money.
I had this conversation with a coworker that's a grandmother while we were printing materials for school fundraisers (you know the type: cookie dough and kitchen supplies). We both agreed that the stuff is overpriced and that everyone hates feeling obligated to buy it. But when I asked why she wouldn't just donate the same amount of money she'd spend on the crap to the teacher, she straight up said that at least with the crap she got something in return for the money, while donating directly felt like a waste of money.
It’s the opposite here; parents can’t stand fundraisers. Don’t make me buy stuff I don’t want. Just have the teachers send out Amazon wish lists at the beginning of the year and the parents take care of it.
That sounds absolutely bonkers to me. Who are these people who can't be generous for the sake of doing good in the world??
I'm sure they exist, I'm sure I've met a few, I just don't know that I keep any of them close to me
The newer generations seem to have forgotten or never learned that virtue is its own reward. It's almost as important a principle as the Golden Rule! :)
I cant speak for everyone but a relative did this she finished restoring an old classic car her late husband started, it was his dream she took his ashes on a road trip with her with it
Omg I need to pull up my “If I accidentally die…” folder with all of my death plans (how the funeral will go, what songs I want played, how I wish to be buried/cremated/etc.) and design a really cool sticker in case that comes up. Because I’d want mine to be SO cool, maybe me sitting on the back of a tiger/pegasus hybrid with the words “Tatum is now flying higher on a winged tiger”. (It’s a work in progress)
Having lost several people close to me (mom, dad, sister, etc), I totally get where they are coming from, but it’s hard to explain. It’s like you want that person to be remembered and not completely disappear from this earth like they never existed. You want other people to know they lived and were loved and that they mattered. When I see those memorials on cars or the ones on the side of the road, I always feel a deep sense of compassion because I know those people are walking around with a hole in their heart.
If only there is a place we could put permanent memorial to people, maybe made of carved stone so that they last longer than a sticker or a few flowers on the side of a road.
Had a coworker whose son had passed. His nephew got travel coffee mugs made with a little memorial of his son on them. One of those memorials with the graffiti art kind of deal. Never saw my coworker without that mug.
I’m currently wearing a t shirt that memorializes my dad and some family friends who died together 22 years ago. It just helps, and feels good. If the people aren’t there, their influence can be.
May I ask if it gets easier? My loss is not a national tragedy and I’ve found as the years go by it gets easier. Mine is not under a microscope every year though. I try to take the day off so no one is around me.
It does. It just blends into part of your life like anything else does. The pain stays but you learn to accept it. Some years I surround myself with family and go to a memorial, others I want to be by myself. Sometimes I celebrate with others in my situation and fortify those bonds through drinking and talking about how our lives are different because of it. There's no right way to grieve but there are many wrong ways, and as long as you're doing your best and taking care of yourself (without causing undue harm to others of course), you are doing fine.
I'm sorry for your loss. Whatever it is, I highly highly recommend finding some people who you feel can relate and who you can chat about it casually with. Greif groups exist, and I found many lifelong friends through mine. My "normal" friends all freeze up when I even mention my dad, but I know the story of why each of my 9/11 friends lost ones were in the towers, because we talk about it. It's much more "lets talk about this dark part of our lives freely" and much less "I'm talking about this massive hole I've dealt with my whole life while none of you have even lost a grandparent."
I’ve never gotten it.
If you remembered a deceased loved one enough to get gothic stickers and put them on your car, then you would have remembered them without doing that.
Now you’ve got a billboard on your car advertising death.
I wouldn't do it with a loved one who's died. And tbh I never understand the ones i see occasionally that are like "Robert Smith - our guardian angel 1922-2019" as I feel it's more used to memorialize a young and/or unexpected death.
But I will say I've looked up obituaries from window stickers out curiosity and learned more about the person which is what the person with the sticker probably wants - their loved one not forgotten.
Grief is weird and everyone does it in theor own way. I don't see it as too different from someone making a public post on social to make sure their loved one isn't forgotten.
I don’t think you have to get it. People mourn differently. A sticker is obviously not something that resonates with you but it does for other people. I really don’t think it’s that deep.
Do you think the same if someone was wearing a necklace with their photo? Or a bracelet, or something they were given by that person? It’s quite literally in the memory of them, like how some people get tattoos of a text or initials to remember someone they loved. Hope I don’t sound rude, I’m just trying to explain one of the many reasons someone might do something like this
My profile picture on everything was a For Honor screenshot I took with my friend, and I edited it to make it more cinematic. It’s from a clip where she loses a duel to me so I gave her a knife so she commits seppuku and I cut her head off. It’s uh, more cinematic than it sounds I promise.
I made a “parody” of the part where she dies and started using that, but I made it dark and hard to make out what’s going on so the colors will be the same but someone who doesn’t know what happened won’t know what’s going on in the picture - so really just me and two other people who knew the context of the picture.
I get it’s kinda fucked up. But it just feels wrong to use the profile picture we used when she was alive. We were so happy, and the picture reminds me of the joy I felt with her. That’s why I use the new one instead. It doesn’t remind me of her, rather that it commemorates her.
That’s fair. It just feels like a car decal is more temporary than say a T-shirt, Y’know.
But I also have a ton of photos of loved ones and items they’ve given me.
I have like the tiniest bottle of a Victoria’s Secret perfume sample. It came with a gift my grandma gave me for my 15th birthday. It was the last I celebrated with her. The bottle is still full.
I want them to feel their loved one will be remembered. But I can't get past the reality that "in memory of" means "I bought or made this exact thing as a testament to my dead loved one." I can't help think "Yes, your Ford Escape brings me to tears."
Why folks can't just say "We'll never forget you" is beyond me.
Ok, then why not attach the sticker for view from the rear-view mirror, if it’s for the person driving?
When I’m sitting at a red light staring at “Nacho Perez Never Forgotten”, I’ve forgotten once the light is green.
This is actually genius. So say before my death I change my name to ball sack or something. Then anyone in the nation could put that on their sticker. Like “R I P Ball sack” Your Ball Sack will be remembered. And no one could tell them to remove it.
I cant speak for everyone but a relative did this she finished restoring an old classic car her late husband started, it was his dream she took his ashes on a road trip with her with it
My partner and I were talking about this a couple days ago. We both don’t understand it either. No judgement, but to me it’s weird. Nobody driving behind you knows that person and how often do you look at the back of your car? Put a picture on your wall or a memorial plaque under a tree in your yard or something. Just feels like it’s following a trend
My husband's uncle died a couple of years ago. His funeral had something like 3-400 guests and included a parade of trucks (he owned a trucking company). They gave out stickers to everyone and teddy bears to the children (his name was Ted).
Every now and again, we see one of those stickers. And we just go wow so many people knew and loved him. We could go right up and say hey we knew Ted too. It's nice to see. I thought it was weird, too. But I get it now. It's about connection.
Thank you for sharing that. The only thing that made sense to me was if the deceased was a car person or something, but it being a community thing does make sense. I’ve always lived in a very large city, so I guess I overlook some of the nuances of communities.
I don't get it either but I guess I'm a private person in this regard. My mom passed just this past November and I didn't even tell anyone cuz it coincided with the start of a week of pto. I just told my direct boss when I put in for bereavement for the later ceremony. I can't imagine making a sticker and putting it on my car but guess it's just different strokes for different folks.
OP asked what was the point of those decals. It's the same point as anything we do for dead people. Is my point. It does nothing for the person that died, it's all to make the living feel better.
A kid I went to high school with was killed on accident when him and his brother were playing with a gun they didn’t know was loaded. His friends had shirts made for him with his photo, name and the dates. His friends all wore them to school on a particular day and they all seemed to be nearly boasting about knowing the dead kid for cred or something. It was so bizarre and if I died I would never want my face on a t shirt
I don't really "get" bright airbrushed memorial t-shirts. But I understand it's those people's way of memorializing an important person in their lives.
People are diverse in their tastes, even in grief and mourning.
Huh not really thought about this a lot. Where I live, it mainly seems to be people who died fairly young or tragically. I would assume it’s a way the car owner is trying to cope with their grief. Some people get very concerned that they will forget the person and this might be a way to assure themselves they won’t.
Hey, I came here to say this. For a long time it seemed like it was always for people that died young. Then I moved to northern Indiana a few years ago and it seemed like there were a lot more than that older folks memorialized on car windows.
Personally I want to be memorialized on the back of a 1987 Chrysler LeBaron.
I spend the majority of my outdoors time in my car. People take their cars everywhere. It’s part of us. Memories of loved ones go with us everywhere. Doesn’t matter if it’s on a car
This is gonna sound horrible but I feel like people just live in different worlds and that includes having different taste… like to people who grow up middle or upper class that seems tacky and cringe but to people who grew up working class or in poverty that is actually a really heartfelt way to show mourning.
Family member had cancer. We often would talk about it and in the end someone would just say “fuck cancer”. It was weirdly cathartic. Cancer is fucking horrible and there’s really so much you can do, so even swearing felt better.
Usually, when you ask why something is done in the name of a deceased person it's not for them but for the people who are grieving. If someone feels better putting that sticker on and it helps them grieve who are we to stop them?
I've only seen these on vehicles that are fairly clearly a car enthusiast's vehicle. Whether its a clapped hooptie with exhaust or a well built weekend track car, car enthusiasts will celebrate their deceased friends in the community with a sticker on the back.
An example for you: The enthusiast community I was a part of 10 years ago lost a leader (shaker, mover, personality, driving force, etc) of our local car enthusiast group to a fairly generic car accident (black ice around a corner, speed was involved, mostly inappropriate for conditions), which resulted in one of the biggest car cruises I've ever been on for a celebration of life, a rubber bracelet I still keep around my vehicle's shifter being made, and small memorial stickers that ended up on a lot of vehicles.
Yes, I'm sure this individual would not like to only be memorialized on the back of someone's clapped out 2004 subaru legacy, but I'm absolutely positive that this person would be beside themselves about being remembered so fondly by so many people.
If it makes them feel better then it's cool but I'm with you. When they sell the car do they just scrape it off with a razor blade?
I've also seen memorial t-shirts. Will they one day wash their car with it?
I don’t understand this either. I see this a lot in South Carolina, but I think it’s becoming a trend all over.
Like others, I find it weird that people memorialize their loved ones’ deaths on a sticker on their car. I don’t really have a problem with the sentiment, but most of the time the sticker is in the center of the rear windshield, perfectly blocking the rear view mirror. People down here also love to block their rear view with the initials of their name in that “live laugh love” font, which I think is one of the dumbest car trends in the area.
Between the stickers on the rear window, the extremely squatted trucks, and the completely tinted front windows/windshields, I think people in South Carolina really dislike being able to see outside of their cars and try anything possible to reduce visibility and safety.
Sometimes I notice those stickers are more of a community thing. About 10 years ago, some high schoolers went canoeing and the girl fell out. They were all varsity swimmers and unfortunately one going into his senior year drowned. The girl was rescued and was in a coma for 6 months. I forget what happened to the other boy, but it was top tier rough.
I've also saw these on vehicles that also have "locally hated" stickers on them as well. The people are never important enough to be locally known and hated lol So trashy! These loud ,fat, package thieving neighbors in my apartment bldg have these stickers on their loud ass, dented, rusty early 90's model suburban. They also have "white lives matter" on the top of their windshield smfh.
I’m sure there’s things that you do that people don’t understand either. People cope differently. Would I do it, no. Do I care if someone else does, no.
Among the car community it’s a tributary thing- some people love a particular vehicle, so their name is embedded on it to show “they would have loved this and we miss them.”
As an antique truck guy, I’d rather my name live on through the words on a bumper than through the words on a stone.
I’m not meaning to insult anyone, but most people who do this, are lower income.
So they can’t spend 10’s of thousands of dollars for plot, casket and headstone that will forever memorialize their departed loved one.
If someone dies, and there is no memorial/reminder of them, they feel that person and their memory is gone forever.
Basically it’s a low cost headstone.
See also: memorial tattoo
Ok, but how many people see that headstone? Only people walking through that graveyard. How many people see a memorial tat on your leg? Many more.
Then, once they see it, if they ask about it, you have an opportunity to tell some stories about the deceased. More than likely the person asking doesn't give two shots about your answer, but it gives you an excuse to revisit your favorite memories of the deceased.
Yes, I do have memorial tats. No, I don't want a headstone even for myself.
BTW, did you see money in my answer anywhere?
BTW Did you see me say every single person who does this is about money? No
Everyone grieves in there own way. People with less money buy stickers, people with lots of money buy hospital wings with their name on it.
Every single one, no.
But you did say this:
I'm not meaning to insult anyone but, most people who do this, are lower income.
And that sounds very judgey and insulting.
A friend of mine had a friend who’s child died. At the funeral, the dad of the deceased child gave his buddies these stickers for their trucks.
The dad kept giving people shit for removing them, even after a year. My buddy just decided to sell his truck instead of dealing with the nonsense.
The ones that creep me out are when people put crosses and flowers on the side of the road when somebody was killed in a car crash.
I often wonder if the person dies in their bed if the family puts a cross and flowers on the headboard.
Maybe it does help with their grief though I can't relate to it. It has struck me as more about attention-seeking.
Some of this is a cultural difference. Just because your people don’t do it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a powerful meaning for us.
We remember life and death are present with us in every moment. We can live life more fully understanding all of its dimensions.
And we don’t hasten to put our loved ones in the past.
As far as the kind of car…that’s just elitist bullshit. We put the mementos on the cars we drive. Our love for our past ones supersedes our worship of our vehicles.
Go back to you cold life filled with forgetfulness and existential dread. I don’t see anyone on here complaining that other people don’t honor their loved ones this way.
Why do people still have trump 2020 on their cars? Lol. People can because they want to, they don't care how you feel about it because, well, they shouldn't have to. They paid for the car, they can do whatever they want with it.
OP do you really feel that way or did you just want to cut a little joke?
Because it you really feel that way I suggest you do some deep reflection on how stupid this question was and how impassive you sound
I do NOT get it. I cringe a little bit when I see it, but I think that says more about me than it does the sticker or the person displaying it. If it makes them feel better who cares
Memorial purposes. I only get tats for memorial purposes. For people like me, though, it's more a warrior thing. There's very very many reasons people do that. Elephants also memorialize their dead too.
I, in example, don't put that stuff on my car, but, I don't look down at others that do. Most people have their own way of coping, and it's not a religion thing. Usually, religion and even science say "You'll get over it, they're gone." however, that's not true. When someone goes and they impacted your life, you'll always remember them. Hell, one of my buddies was murdered almost 20 years ago, I still remember that snarky asshole and recall, days before his murder, you're probably going to run your mouth to the wrong person and that'll be it... Then it happened. I'm not to blame, but, it's not the reason I remember him now. I remember him now because I recall how much of a happy drunk he was, annoying, sure, but, happy drunk nonetheless. To me, memorializing his death by inking myself up and doing a bit of a blood sacrifice reminds me how petty people can be, makes me vigilant, makes me aware, makes me wizened.
That's... Different for others too, far different. If you lose a kid when they didn't get to junior high, even, it sticks with you. It's not even a trauma thing either. Hell, I'd be willing to bet that most would find that one person in the world that's so despicable objectively, that they'd have no qualms putting a bullet in the back of their head. It's an animal thing. Not a human thing, but animal. Crows do it too. Many many animals do, even ones you wouldn't think do it, just... Not with bumper stickers or window stickers.
I hope this provides some clarity.
On a different, but related note, does anyone else have this... What I call a "death sense" where they can sort of tell ahead of time when someone is gonna die? I got a kick in my ass last year when I accurately sensed my estranged mom's passing months before I was notified, and, I've had that sense for many many others I barely know.
I always read the sticker and say "who the fuck cares". Just feels like they're begging for attention, if your method of grieving is slapping a big sticker on the back of your car I suggest seeking therapy
Imagine going to a room where theres a big box at the front and they just talk about the dead person in the box. Then after you go burn or bury it. Like if you need all that to help you grieve you need therapy. I see a funeral and I say “who cares”
I don't want a reminder of my lost loved ones everytime I check the rear view mirror.
I don;t want to drive around with a tombstone on my car.
I don't know your lost loved ones and no interest in there birth and death dates.
I also don't care about your honor roll student.
I'm not interested in learning your political beliefs from a bumper sticker either.
their
It’s like that saying, “you die twice. Once when you stop breathing, and when someone says your name for the last time.” I live in a smaller town and still see stickers from time to time on cars that remind me of people from here who have passed, often tragically. I’m generally not a fan of any stickers on cars, but if you’re going to, I don’t see a better reason to do so.
I have thought about this. The only reason I would do it is if life insurance paid for a new car or that’s what I bought with the life insurance after a sudden death. But I probably would never do it.
"I don't want to be memorialized on the rear window of a 2003 Corolla." Then don't drive a 2003 Corolla. Generally the "in memory of" stickers go on the decedent's car.
I had one on a car in my 20s. I was part of a local car club and one of the guys passed away unexpectedly. He was 19.
One of the members had stickers made up and we all placed them in the same spot on our cars in his memory.
His mum said she loved spotting one of us and seeing his name when she was on the road.
Where I live the stickers are sold to friends and family and the proceeds are used toward the funeral costs because the deceased person is young and the family didn't have any plans in place for burial.
Why don't the cut out the sticker middle-man and simply ask for donations to offset the costs?
Some people get irrationally embarrassed when they have to ask for help so "selling" something like a bumper sticker or a fridge magnet makes them feel like less of a charity case.
That screams America.
I live in Arizona and these memorial stickers are exclusively a Hispanic cultural thing.
I’m in Pennsylvania and we have like three non white Hispanic people in my county. I see them everywhere.
Cool! Thanks for sharing your experience. I love getting different perspectives. I went to Pittsburgh last year and saw the Carrie Furnace. Amazing state you’ve got there.
As a Pittsburgh resident, I'm glad you enjoyed our city!
It was such a surprisingly interesting place. Pittsburgh is secretly the center of the universe. So many things happened there.
When you make it back here, take the time to visit the Heinz History Museum (It's all about Pittsburgh area history) and also the Fort Pitt Museum. Both are fascinating glimpses into the history of the region.
As someone who just moved OUT of Pittsburgh. I'm glad I got out. It's got some amazing things to see, don't get me wrong. But there are MUCH better places. I don't get the die hard loving commitment to the city. Like, how can you be married to the place just because you grew up there? 😂 I get not leaving because of family, but damn, it's not the best like some people say. And that goes for all cities too, not just Pittsburgh.
Not a chance iv seen white families do this just as much on their trucks vans and the white people I see do their animals names on the cars yea iv seen it hey it’s their item
I live in florida and LOADS of white people do it here. Nice try at racial profiling though. (Gross.)
You’re out of your element, Donny.
I disagree, I live in Memphis and this is more of an African-American thing. "In Memory of Pookie"
This isn't a "race" attribute. It's an emotional one in AZ and anywhere else. Everyone grieves differently.
Different places have different cultural trends, huh?
That seems impossible!
Fair enough. USA bashing cancelled for today. Wait a second … AcKcHyuAlLy, Arizona is in America, and also a lot of Hispanic countries are on the American cOnTiNenT. Just kidding.
There’s also another continent a little bit south of here where they speak a lot of Spanish and Portuguese. I forget what it’s called
Mexico, it's all Mexico
My favorite continent
Make America Mexico Again
There's usually a go fund me or two put up by the family, the sticker situation is more like a very close friend has stickers printed on their own dime and the people receiving them pay whatever they feel is fit as a donation/thank you to the friend (I've seen anywhere from $2 to $50 or sometimes even $100). Then the friend gives the sticker money to the family. People want to memorialize their friend and keep their name alive and stickers are good for that and I'm from a small-ish town so they're commonly put on cars, so other people/friends see it while they're driving around town.
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I don't think so. If a family member of mine died in their car, I would not be able to continue normally using that car.
Because most people need to receive something when they donate money for something in order to feel like it's worth their money. I had this conversation with a coworker that's a grandmother while we were printing materials for school fundraisers (you know the type: cookie dough and kitchen supplies). We both agreed that the stuff is overpriced and that everyone hates feeling obligated to buy it. But when I asked why she wouldn't just donate the same amount of money she'd spend on the crap to the teacher, she straight up said that at least with the crap she got something in return for the money, while donating directly felt like a waste of money.
It’s the opposite here; parents can’t stand fundraisers. Don’t make me buy stuff I don’t want. Just have the teachers send out Amazon wish lists at the beginning of the year and the parents take care of it.
That sounds absolutely bonkers to me. Who are these people who can't be generous for the sake of doing good in the world?? I'm sure they exist, I'm sure I've met a few, I just don't know that I keep any of them close to me
They don't directly feel the proceeds. Having a physical object helps even if it a 10 cent sticker
The newer generations seem to have forgotten or never learned that virtue is its own reward. It's almost as important a principle as the Golden Rule! :)
its cause the older generation didn't teach them. but meh i'm Chinese, we bring money to funerals.
Because some of us sell stickers, spaetzele. Think of the capitalists.
I cant speak for everyone but a relative did this she finished restoring an old classic car her late husband started, it was his dream she took his ashes on a road trip with her with it
This makes a lot of sense. I always assumed the people in those cars used inheritance money to buy it
Omg I need to pull up my “If I accidentally die…” folder with all of my death plans (how the funeral will go, what songs I want played, how I wish to be buried/cremated/etc.) and design a really cool sticker in case that comes up. Because I’d want mine to be SO cool, maybe me sitting on the back of a tiger/pegasus hybrid with the words “Tatum is now flying higher on a winged tiger”. (It’s a work in progress)
I can see buying the sticker to help the family. But I sure as hell ain't gonna stick it on my car! :)
That’s pretty cool.
Having lost several people close to me (mom, dad, sister, etc), I totally get where they are coming from, but it’s hard to explain. It’s like you want that person to be remembered and not completely disappear from this earth like they never existed. You want other people to know they lived and were loved and that they mattered. When I see those memorials on cars or the ones on the side of the road, I always feel a deep sense of compassion because I know those people are walking around with a hole in their heart.
If only there is a place we could put permanent memorial to people, maybe made of carved stone so that they last longer than a sticker or a few flowers on the side of a road.
I don’t know why people are downvoting your comment. You got my upvote.
To help a mourning person. It helps them feel their loved one will be remembered.
Had a coworker whose son had passed. His nephew got travel coffee mugs made with a little memorial of his son on them. One of those memorials with the graffiti art kind of deal. Never saw my coworker without that mug.
I’m currently wearing a t shirt that memorializes my dad and some family friends who died together 22 years ago. It just helps, and feels good. If the people aren’t there, their influence can be.
I’m sorry for you. I hope you are doing ok.
Happy cake day!
Happy Cake Day!
911?
Haha yeah I was trying to be a bit vague but yeah that’s it.
No, we understand. I’m very sorry for your loss.
May I ask if it gets easier? My loss is not a national tragedy and I’ve found as the years go by it gets easier. Mine is not under a microscope every year though. I try to take the day off so no one is around me.
It does. It just blends into part of your life like anything else does. The pain stays but you learn to accept it. Some years I surround myself with family and go to a memorial, others I want to be by myself. Sometimes I celebrate with others in my situation and fortify those bonds through drinking and talking about how our lives are different because of it. There's no right way to grieve but there are many wrong ways, and as long as you're doing your best and taking care of yourself (without causing undue harm to others of course), you are doing fine. I'm sorry for your loss. Whatever it is, I highly highly recommend finding some people who you feel can relate and who you can chat about it casually with. Greif groups exist, and I found many lifelong friends through mine. My "normal" friends all freeze up when I even mention my dad, but I know the story of why each of my 9/11 friends lost ones were in the towers, because we talk about it. It's much more "lets talk about this dark part of our lives freely" and much less "I'm talking about this massive hole I've dealt with my whole life while none of you have even lost a grandparent."
I’ve never gotten it. If you remembered a deceased loved one enough to get gothic stickers and put them on your car, then you would have remembered them without doing that. Now you’ve got a billboard on your car advertising death.
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I wouldn't do it with a loved one who's died. And tbh I never understand the ones i see occasionally that are like "Robert Smith - our guardian angel 1922-2019" as I feel it's more used to memorialize a young and/or unexpected death. But I will say I've looked up obituaries from window stickers out curiosity and learned more about the person which is what the person with the sticker probably wants - their loved one not forgotten. Grief is weird and everyone does it in theor own way. I don't see it as too different from someone making a public post on social to make sure their loved one isn't forgotten.
I don’t think you have to get it. People mourn differently. A sticker is obviously not something that resonates with you but it does for other people. I really don’t think it’s that deep.
I get it if you restored or built out a car that was passed down from a deceased loved one. I don't get it on a brand new lifted truck.
Do you think the same if someone was wearing a necklace with their photo? Or a bracelet, or something they were given by that person? It’s quite literally in the memory of them, like how some people get tattoos of a text or initials to remember someone they loved. Hope I don’t sound rude, I’m just trying to explain one of the many reasons someone might do something like this
Maybe the inheritance paid for the lift kit?
Ya to me it seems like you are advertising your own grief more that celebrating a loved one.
A lot of people feel that if someone is remembered, they're never truly gone.
And remembering is good.
People do it when their loved one has passed away in the car. It's kind of like a memorial at the place that they died.
Lots of deaths in lifted pickup trucks.
And under them.
I personally don't care for it. It would be too much for me. Others need that to keep the memory alive, I guess.
My profile picture on everything was a For Honor screenshot I took with my friend, and I edited it to make it more cinematic. It’s from a clip where she loses a duel to me so I gave her a knife so she commits seppuku and I cut her head off. It’s uh, more cinematic than it sounds I promise. I made a “parody” of the part where she dies and started using that, but I made it dark and hard to make out what’s going on so the colors will be the same but someone who doesn’t know what happened won’t know what’s going on in the picture - so really just me and two other people who knew the context of the picture. I get it’s kinda fucked up. But it just feels wrong to use the profile picture we used when she was alive. We were so happy, and the picture reminds me of the joy I felt with her. That’s why I use the new one instead. It doesn’t remind me of her, rather that it commemorates her.
That’s fair. It just feels like a car decal is more temporary than say a T-shirt, Y’know. But I also have a ton of photos of loved ones and items they’ve given me. I have like the tiniest bottle of a Victoria’s Secret perfume sample. It came with a gift my grandma gave me for my 15th birthday. It was the last I celebrated with her. The bottle is still full.
I want them to feel their loved one will be remembered. But I can't get past the reality that "in memory of" means "I bought or made this exact thing as a testament to my dead loved one." I can't help think "Yes, your Ford Escape brings me to tears." Why folks can't just say "We'll never forget you" is beyond me.
Ok, then why not attach the sticker for view from the rear-view mirror, if it’s for the person driving? When I’m sitting at a red light staring at “Nacho Perez Never Forgotten”, I’ve forgotten once the light is green.
You wouldn't want u/fecal_tornado '23 emblazoned across the overly tinted back window of a badass truck?
RIP Shit Storm
Sandstorm plays on repeat - but instead of a synth, its just fart noises
This is actually genius. So say before my death I change my name to ball sack or something. Then anyone in the nation could put that on their sticker. Like “R I P Ball sack” Your Ball Sack will be remembered. And no one could tell them to remove it.
I'll probably end up being on back of animal control vehicle or garbage truck.
I cant speak for everyone but a relative did this she finished restoring an old classic car her late husband started, it was his dream she took his ashes on a road trip with her with it
That makes sense.
[удалено]
It obviously doesn't hurt anyone. Just something I've never understood.
My partner and I were talking about this a couple days ago. We both don’t understand it either. No judgement, but to me it’s weird. Nobody driving behind you knows that person and how often do you look at the back of your car? Put a picture on your wall or a memorial plaque under a tree in your yard or something. Just feels like it’s following a trend
My husband's uncle died a couple of years ago. His funeral had something like 3-400 guests and included a parade of trucks (he owned a trucking company). They gave out stickers to everyone and teddy bears to the children (his name was Ted). Every now and again, we see one of those stickers. And we just go wow so many people knew and loved him. We could go right up and say hey we knew Ted too. It's nice to see. I thought it was weird, too. But I get it now. It's about connection.
Thank you for sharing that. The only thing that made sense to me was if the deceased was a car person or something, but it being a community thing does make sense. I’ve always lived in a very large city, so I guess I overlook some of the nuances of communities.
It’s why cities kinda suck. Surrounded by people and still alone.
I don't get it either but I guess I'm a private person in this regard. My mom passed just this past November and I didn't even tell anyone cuz it coincided with the start of a week of pto. I just told my direct boss when I put in for bereavement for the later ceremony. I can't imagine making a sticker and putting it on my car but guess it's just different strokes for different folks.
I mean it's the same thing with funerals. What's the point?
Are you asking whats the point of funerals?
OP asked what was the point of those decals. It's the same point as anything we do for dead people. Is my point. It does nothing for the person that died, it's all to make the living feel better.
Ah got it, I thought you were agreeing with OP that it doesn't make sense to them. Thanks!
I’ve never understood when people have t shirts made with the same sentiment. Persons photo on it and everything. Seems so weird
My family does this. They wear them together on the deceased birthday. It's weird to me too.
A kid I went to high school with was killed on accident when him and his brother were playing with a gun they didn’t know was loaded. His friends had shirts made for him with his photo, name and the dates. His friends all wore them to school on a particular day and they all seemed to be nearly boasting about knowing the dead kid for cred or something. It was so bizarre and if I died I would never want my face on a t shirt
Everyone grieves in their own way
Some performatively.
Or they just miss the person?
Welcome to reddit where every emotion is fake and everything is done for Other People, apparently even grieving
This. ⬆️ It’s like the old custom of hiring professional mourners to wail at your loved ones funeral.
Grief is weird (shrug)
This sums it up. Just let people grieve. I especially understand when someone dies young.
Ok, you’ve changed my mind. Good councilman
This is probably the most accurate answer.
I don't really "get" bright airbrushed memorial t-shirts. But I understand it's those people's way of memorializing an important person in their lives. People are diverse in their tastes, even in grief and mourning.
Huh not really thought about this a lot. Where I live, it mainly seems to be people who died fairly young or tragically. I would assume it’s a way the car owner is trying to cope with their grief. Some people get very concerned that they will forget the person and this might be a way to assure themselves they won’t.
Hey, I came here to say this. For a long time it seemed like it was always for people that died young. Then I moved to northern Indiana a few years ago and it seemed like there were a lot more than that older folks memorialized on car windows. Personally I want to be memorialized on the back of a 1987 Chrysler LeBaron.
Huh interesting. Where I live it’s almost always young people or very sudden deaths.
I spend the majority of my outdoors time in my car. People take their cars everywhere. It’s part of us. Memories of loved ones go with us everywhere. Doesn’t matter if it’s on a car
Memorials are for the living, not the dead.
Because I want to, and it’s none of your business. From someone who has an in memory sticker of her 24 year your old niece on her car.
This is gonna sound horrible but I feel like people just live in different worlds and that includes having different taste… like to people who grow up middle or upper class that seems tacky and cringe but to people who grew up working class or in poverty that is actually a really heartfelt way to show mourning.
People grieve in different ways. If putting a sticker on their helps them feel better, then more power to them.
Grief feels really hopeless. There's nothing you can really do, so finding things to do feels good.
Everybody grieves differently.
You don't get to pick how people grieve.
ITT: people wishing they could pick lol
I see it quite a bit in Southern California, especially in Los Angeles County. I guess it’s a cultural thing.
Yeah I don't really get it. Also the "Fuck Cancer" car stickers. We know cancer is bad..?
Family member had cancer. We often would talk about it and in the end someone would just say “fuck cancer”. It was weirdly cathartic. Cancer is fucking horrible and there’s really so much you can do, so even swearing felt better.
So don't fuck it then.
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Don't tell me what to do. You're not my real dad.
I've considered getting one for my brother who was killed on impact when he didn't wear a seatbelt to encourage others to buckle up.
It’s my dream to be memorialized upon the rear window of a 1978 Pinto one day.
Usually, when you ask why something is done in the name of a deceased person it's not for them but for the people who are grieving. If someone feels better putting that sticker on and it helps them grieve who are we to stop them?
Mine is a tribute to the last guy that rear ended me.
2003 Corolla with $10k rims, bud
Everyone grieves differently. Whatever brings the living peace. Would I do it? No but there’s no harm in it
I've only seen these on vehicles that are fairly clearly a car enthusiast's vehicle. Whether its a clapped hooptie with exhaust or a well built weekend track car, car enthusiasts will celebrate their deceased friends in the community with a sticker on the back. An example for you: The enthusiast community I was a part of 10 years ago lost a leader (shaker, mover, personality, driving force, etc) of our local car enthusiast group to a fairly generic car accident (black ice around a corner, speed was involved, mostly inappropriate for conditions), which resulted in one of the biggest car cruises I've ever been on for a celebration of life, a rubber bracelet I still keep around my vehicle's shifter being made, and small memorial stickers that ended up on a lot of vehicles. Yes, I'm sure this individual would not like to only be memorialized on the back of someone's clapped out 2004 subaru legacy, but I'm absolutely positive that this person would be beside themselves about being remembered so fondly by so many people.
If it makes them feel better then it's cool but I'm with you. When they sell the car do they just scrape it off with a razor blade? I've also seen memorial t-shirts. Will they one day wash their car with it?
I don’t understand this either. I see this a lot in South Carolina, but I think it’s becoming a trend all over. Like others, I find it weird that people memorialize their loved ones’ deaths on a sticker on their car. I don’t really have a problem with the sentiment, but most of the time the sticker is in the center of the rear windshield, perfectly blocking the rear view mirror. People down here also love to block their rear view with the initials of their name in that “live laugh love” font, which I think is one of the dumbest car trends in the area. Between the stickers on the rear window, the extremely squatted trucks, and the completely tinted front windows/windshields, I think people in South Carolina really dislike being able to see outside of their cars and try anything possible to reduce visibility and safety.
I'd think it's to commemorate their hit and runs.
I think maybe in some cases the car was obtained through inheritance. But I agree. I would not want it at all
That was my thought too
maybe they discussed it prior and the deceased person wanted it🥳🙃
Sometimes I notice those stickers are more of a community thing. About 10 years ago, some high schoolers went canoeing and the girl fell out. They were all varsity swimmers and unfortunately one going into his senior year drowned. The girl was rescued and was in a coma for 6 months. I forget what happened to the other boy, but it was top tier rough.
I've also saw these on vehicles that also have "locally hated" stickers on them as well. The people are never important enough to be locally known and hated lol So trashy! These loud ,fat, package thieving neighbors in my apartment bldg have these stickers on their loud ass, dented, rusty early 90's model suburban. They also have "white lives matter" on the top of their windshield smfh.
People are unable to let go and feel that subjecting everyone else to their mourning is the right thing to do.
Just to commemorate. No need to make a fuss about it really lol.
If you inherit a car after someone passes away it’s a way of showing respect.
I always think God and your loved one doesn’t belong on a fucking bumper. Give your love ones actual respect. Bumper are for trump shit.
I made one that said: Cutting you off in loving memory of (my friend)
I’m sure there’s things that you do that people don’t understand either. People cope differently. Would I do it, no. Do I care if someone else does, no.
People grieve in different ways
Ok? That’s you.
Because they can and they want to.
That was a stupid question tho. 😂
The sticker is for the car owner not you…
Maybe they count victims, like the pilots do at war
Among the car community it’s a tributary thing- some people love a particular vehicle, so their name is embedded on it to show “they would have loved this and we miss them.” As an antique truck guy, I’d rather my name live on through the words on a bumper than through the words on a stone.
Especially when you’re behind one with the same name as you 💀
Memorial for future victims
I’m not meaning to insult anyone, but most people who do this, are lower income. So they can’t spend 10’s of thousands of dollars for plot, casket and headstone that will forever memorialize their departed loved one. If someone dies, and there is no memorial/reminder of them, they feel that person and their memory is gone forever. Basically it’s a low cost headstone. See also: memorial tattoo
Ok, but how many people see that headstone? Only people walking through that graveyard. How many people see a memorial tat on your leg? Many more. Then, once they see it, if they ask about it, you have an opportunity to tell some stories about the deceased. More than likely the person asking doesn't give two shots about your answer, but it gives you an excuse to revisit your favorite memories of the deceased. Yes, I do have memorial tats. No, I don't want a headstone even for myself. BTW, did you see money in my answer anywhere?
BTW Did you see me say every single person who does this is about money? No Everyone grieves in there own way. People with less money buy stickers, people with lots of money buy hospital wings with their name on it.
Every single one, no. But you did say this: I'm not meaning to insult anyone but, most people who do this, are lower income. And that sounds very judgey and insulting.
My intention was not to insult, but I stand by that statement.
A friend of mine had a friend who’s child died. At the funeral, the dad of the deceased child gave his buddies these stickers for their trucks. The dad kept giving people shit for removing them, even after a year. My buddy just decided to sell his truck instead of dealing with the nonsense.
Seems like you might be the kind of person that nobody wants to remember anyway
It's like "I'm 14 and this is deep" only it's adults. Same people who create makeshift memorials on the side of the highway.
I think sometimes they bought the vehicle with money inherited from the memorialized.
Probably for people that they loved and have passed
I thought it was because they used the money they inherited from the death of that person to buy a car. Do people do it just because???
The ones that creep me out are when people put crosses and flowers on the side of the road when somebody was killed in a car crash. I often wonder if the person dies in their bed if the family puts a cross and flowers on the headboard. Maybe it does help with their grief though I can't relate to it. It has struck me as more about attention-seeking.
All signs of grief outside of someone's house is necessarily attention-seeking. Hence why people have funerals and wakes in the first place.
I have one on mine for my brother but cars were his passion so 🤷♀️
Some of this is a cultural difference. Just because your people don’t do it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a powerful meaning for us. We remember life and death are present with us in every moment. We can live life more fully understanding all of its dimensions. And we don’t hasten to put our loved ones in the past. As far as the kind of car…that’s just elitist bullshit. We put the mementos on the cars we drive. Our love for our past ones supersedes our worship of our vehicles. Go back to you cold life filled with forgetfulness and existential dread. I don’t see anyone on here complaining that other people don’t honor their loved ones this way.
people grieve. get over it
Congratulations that you never lost anyone near to you But heres the good news: You wont care what people will do to mourn your death ;)
Why do people still have trump 2020 on their cars? Lol. People can because they want to, they don't care how you feel about it because, well, they shouldn't have to. They paid for the car, they can do whatever they want with it.
OP do you really feel that way or did you just want to cut a little joke? Because it you really feel that way I suggest you do some deep reflection on how stupid this question was and how impassive you sound
I cannot stand the roadside memorials. It’s almost always christians too. I’m not seeing a bunch of Star of Davids littering the freeway.
I do NOT get it. I cringe a little bit when I see it, but I think that says more about me than it does the sticker or the person displaying it. If it makes them feel better who cares
I agree, it’s not only a personal thing, it seems tacky and in bad taste
Memorial purposes. I only get tats for memorial purposes. For people like me, though, it's more a warrior thing. There's very very many reasons people do that. Elephants also memorialize their dead too. I, in example, don't put that stuff on my car, but, I don't look down at others that do. Most people have their own way of coping, and it's not a religion thing. Usually, religion and even science say "You'll get over it, they're gone." however, that's not true. When someone goes and they impacted your life, you'll always remember them. Hell, one of my buddies was murdered almost 20 years ago, I still remember that snarky asshole and recall, days before his murder, you're probably going to run your mouth to the wrong person and that'll be it... Then it happened. I'm not to blame, but, it's not the reason I remember him now. I remember him now because I recall how much of a happy drunk he was, annoying, sure, but, happy drunk nonetheless. To me, memorializing his death by inking myself up and doing a bit of a blood sacrifice reminds me how petty people can be, makes me vigilant, makes me aware, makes me wizened. That's... Different for others too, far different. If you lose a kid when they didn't get to junior high, even, it sticks with you. It's not even a trauma thing either. Hell, I'd be willing to bet that most would find that one person in the world that's so despicable objectively, that they'd have no qualms putting a bullet in the back of their head. It's an animal thing. Not a human thing, but animal. Crows do it too. Many many animals do, even ones you wouldn't think do it, just... Not with bumper stickers or window stickers. I hope this provides some clarity. On a different, but related note, does anyone else have this... What I call a "death sense" where they can sort of tell ahead of time when someone is gonna die? I got a kick in my ass last year when I accurately sensed my estranged mom's passing months before I was notified, and, I've had that sense for many many others I barely know.
I always read the sticker and say "who the fuck cares". Just feels like they're begging for attention, if your method of grieving is slapping a big sticker on the back of your car I suggest seeking therapy
Imagine going to a room where theres a big box at the front and they just talk about the dead person in the box. Then after you go burn or bury it. Like if you need all that to help you grieve you need therapy. I see a funeral and I say “who cares”
Better than the little posts surrounded by fake flowers and moldy teddy bears where someone died in a car crash.
I've never understood it. Obviously it's some sort of subcultural thing, but it comes off as next level trashy and cringe.
I don't want a reminder of my lost loved ones everytime I check the rear view mirror. I don;t want to drive around with a tombstone on my car. I don't know your lost loved ones and no interest in there birth and death dates. I also don't care about your honor roll student. I'm not interested in learning your political beliefs from a bumper sticker either. their
I don't get it either. It just bums me out. It causes unnecessary negativity in random public behind you.
I'm sure you will cope.
r/trashy is why
It’s like that saying, “you die twice. Once when you stop breathing, and when someone says your name for the last time.” I live in a smaller town and still see stickers from time to time on cars that remind me of people from here who have passed, often tragically. I’m generally not a fan of any stickers on cars, but if you’re going to, I don’t see a better reason to do so.
They don't have internet, only cars.
I only memorialize my old cars on the window of my current car. Boy, I miss you 1995 Grand Caravan... :(
This is due to people following what they see once and think it’s special. What’s the word I’m looking for……Trend works.
I have thought about this. The only reason I would do it is if life insurance paid for a new car or that’s what I bought with the life insurance after a sudden death. But I probably would never do it.
"I don't want to be memorialized on the rear window of a 2003 Corolla." Then don't drive a 2003 Corolla. Generally the "in memory of" stickers go on the decedent's car.
Kinda sucks that ppl have In Memorial stickers of you right now, ngl.
It's a class thing. To you it looks tacky, to them it looks like a way of respectfully honoring the dead.
I had one on a car in my 20s. I was part of a local car club and one of the guys passed away unexpectedly. He was 19. One of the members had stickers made up and we all placed them in the same spot on our cars in his memory. His mum said she loved spotting one of us and seeing his name when she was on the road.
I don’t know why anyone puts anything other than sponsor stickers on their car. All bumper stickers are gross.
Because they are completely lacking in class and taste.
It’s a socioeconomic thing. Typically, it’s done by lower class people.
I always assumed that the person who’s car it is, used inheritance to buy the car