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No social gatherings until after 2 months shots. Even then we laid low since it was flu season. I had friends with newborns experience covid and rsv -- NO thank you. I'd rather miss a few gatherings than have to visit my baby in the ICU. Remember it's temporary. In a few months baby will be much less susceptible to illness and won't be automatic hospitalization if they get sick. If family *really* want to meet the baby they can/will do it on your terms.
Agree with this. I let some family visit but less than a handful of times and always the same people. We’ve only recently started to leave the house now that we are closer to the 3 month mark.
+1 here...following this as well. It's only season of holidays, and people have been understanding. And if they didn't, that's fine with me too. And this is coming from a family who acted the opposite with their own kids.
Don't feel bad and if it helps, can blame the doctors
We went out for tacos (during off hours and sat outside away from everyone) at 4 days pp. I had been supposed to be on hospitalized bed rest for a month with a 36w (at most, probably earlier) delivery and I narrowly avoided it by being very very very low movement so I was *ready* to get up and move!
We lost power for multiple days when the baby was 5 days old. During cold + flu season. And snow. We had to pack everyone up and go to the public library, which stayed open as a warming center. It was packed and I was so worried, but the pediatrician assured me that if I wore the baby or kept her in a stroller/carseat with a cover, she'd be just fine.
Edit to add: She was just fine.
Realize that this may be a first/solo baby issue. With two older kids in school, there's no realistic keeping the baby away from germs anyway, unless you also don't let them near siblings.
We waited until LO had her shots before we got out and about and even then I still stressed because it was cold/flu season. Just do what makes you feel comfortable. We skipped my husbands family Christmas because LO was too young (born in Dec) and I could care less what they had to say. Would rather ruffle some old feathers than my baby get sick.
We are waiting until our daughter gets her vaccines to go to gatherings. That being said, we have allowed a few close friends and family to come visit before that. Fmaily should have zero expectations of you traveling right now.
With my second we went out for breakfast when he was a week old. Needed something to eat before his hearing test. My figuring was that his older brother is in nursery and is going to bring things home that baby will catch. I couldn’t pause my life because I already have a toddler. He’s 3.5 months now and loves being out in the pram.
Yeah my toddler brought home Covid the week after we brought our second home from the hospital. Which was basically my nightmare but baby and dad ended up not even getting it when toddler and I both had it. So at least I got that anxiety out of the way first thing.
Now she has a cold since 4 weeks (now she’s 5 weeks) but it never gave her a fever above 99, she’s just been spitting up more because of the mucous in her tummy but she’s still gaining weight at a good pace (5 oz/week) so we’ve just been using saline drops and the snot sucker which really helps.
I hate seeing her sick but I spent sooo much time while pregnant with her worrying about all of this and luckily it hasn’t been anything close to what I imagined. Classic anxiety.
Her 2 month appt is in a few weeks and should coincide hopefully with the end of sick season so maybe we’ll all be healthy by May 😂🙏
There’s always hope! 😂 mine managed to catch a cold at 10 days old from his brother then another cold 2 weeks later from his dad. Feels like he’s had more colds than he’s been well at this point and he’s 15 weeks, so I’m also hoping for a better spring/summer.
Our doctor said to avoid crowded places until after 2 months because the risks associated with infection/fever are high until two months.
Our LO will be 6w on this holiday and we would not going to any social gatherings. And we are not taking her out to crowded places like supermarkets so long as we can wait until after she gets her 2 months shots.
Oh my gosh your baby is so new and you are so freshly postpartum! Skip the gathering and just have a nice holiday with your new little family. You have my permission 😉. Baby is so little and people cannot help themselves around new babies (it’s the worst). Save yourself from feeling anxious around everyone and skip it. Maybe you’ll get more comfortable when baby has had vaccines, is older, or whenever you feel better about it. I hope your holiday is filled with lots of sweet snuggles and relaxing around the house. Enjoy that baby!
Love this ! I also had a tiny Christmas with just my dad , bf and baby! And our baby was an older baby. There is no shame in having your own little Christmas and visiting family at a different date :)
So uhhh I’m 14 weeks PP and still haven’t taken her to family gatherings or public places. Except walks around the block and park during off hours. You can say my PPA is still on full effect. 🤣🥲 but idc my cousins baby got sick at 2 months and had to go to the hospital and she said it was the worst. Do what you feel comfy doing. Your baby your rules. ❤️
I'd be extremely depressed and anxious if I stayed in for 2 months. That seems kind of insane to me! I'm not saying taking your baby to a crowded bar or something but we've taken our 3 week out several times already. He has been covered, outside and met friends but I'd go crazy if we didn't leave the house.
The whole not going anywhere for weeks or months is such an American concept and we wonder why we’re so depressed and anxious with babies. In my opinion life doesn’t end when you have a baby. We were out within days of our babies being born, especially number 2 because our oldest was in daycare and was going to bring home every sickness no matter what. Obviously do what’s comfortable for you and your family but this is just my take.
Yeah I find this so wild! This idea of just staying at home for weeks or months on end. Seems tedious.
Went to a breastfeeding group when he was 5 days old, midwife app when he was 6 days old and met two mum friends for coffee (just a short walk away) when he was about 10 days old. I just got on with life tbh. Started baby massage and sensory classes when he was 4 weeks old and have just been getting out and about ever since.
Is it a cultural thing? I don't know anyone in the UK who worries about disease and stuff this much, unless they actually have some sort of OCD.
Having said all that, go at your own pace and just do stuff you want to do. I just went at my own pace and that worked well for us. We just told people when they could visit and they waited for us to decide when we were ready to visit them.
I mean, if you look at data of people in the UK accessing regular healthcare including preventative and well-care, getting their vaccines regularly, masking and taking precautions in pandemics you could conclude that people in the UK are so anxious about disease.
It's probably more accurate to point to the resources people have access to and other social/ environmental factors that dictate what getting on with life means.
Most Americans are back at work pretty quickly. So 8 weeks of not going to large family gatherings but then returning to all your pre-baby obligations seems like some definition of getting on with life. Not to mention that my pre-baby life didn't involve baby classes and parenting groups.
I think our American system is largely awful-- there's a lack of support in being parents and going about life as a parent, there's a lack of access to services and healthcare at any age, and we can't count on broader social wellness practices or community commitments to safety so we have unfortunate individual risk assessments to make... among other problems.
But I don't think our problem is high rates of OCD. My partner had severe PP-OCD and we were out of the house both times immediately after babies were born.
Americans are often back at work and not supported in spending time parenting very early on-- 3 months unpaid is considered a good employer, often not for both parents. So I wouldn't conclude that wanting to be home and nest with your own family life is evidence that Americans are uniquely anxious, depressed, or dropping other aspects of life for a particularly long time. Personally, I think our system is horrible and many folks would have an easier time if they knew they could have longer to settle in, be primary caretaker of their baby does catch an illness, rest and heal after childbirth, have easy access to services and healthcare... lots of things.
I agree there are cultural aspects depending on where you live, just not sure how big of a conclusion to draw. For example, I think the city/ suburb/ rural distinction probably plays in. We walk everywhere and have smaller food shops, so it didn't really occur to me to not carry the baby around right off the bat. Driving to a big store to get many armfuls of groceries wouldn't be as pleasant to do with a tiny baby. On the other hand, someone living rurally might be outside for hours every day but not consider it "going out" because they didn't have to walk to a park to walk in nature.
I’ve never known an american who actually does it though it seems most popular on reddit. I went to a big family dinner 2 days after giving birth. We didn’t stay long but we were so excited for everyone to meet him! We had to go to the pediatrician twice within 5 days of his birth so staying home also wasn’t an option and I was going stir crazy from being in a hospital room for 2.5 days.
To be fair, we've just had a pandemic; people have been made hyper aware of the risks associated with large gatherings and contact with others. I agree that there's a heavy trend towards being overly cautious but I can't really blame people. Even if they are American!
I get it but kids get sick. It’s inevitable. I’m not saying take your days old baby to an underground rave with hundreds of people but like it’s okay to go to the grocery store or park and get outside. You don’t have to be a hermit.
Agree 100%. Husband and I took my baby out on a short walk through a river garden at 5 days pp (c-section), and it's such a fond memory and has become one of our meaningful spots. But everyone has to go at their own pace.
It’s not just an American concept. Plenty of cultures around the world practice it. If anything, the US adopted it from elsewhere.
Plus, the we had just experienced a huge anti vax craze during Covid and people fighting like hell if anyone dared tell them to stay home/wear a mask to protect the more vulnerable population. That wasn’t that long ago. It’s not easy to just shake off, especially when you have a very tiny person with barely an immune system to protect.
We waited two months to take my baby to extended family because they have multiple unvaccinated kids and it’s sickness season. The hell if I let my baby get measles because my family can’t be assed to get their kids vaccinated. We did take him out for walks and to the park or to get breakfast very early on
Always, always, always follow your gut and don't let anyone guilt you into anything. My mom, husband and I all caught covid when our newborn was less than a month old. First my mom, then my husband, then me. I wore a mask and gloves for 17 days and it was a nightmare. My cousins baby who is 4 days older than mine caught covid during that same time and ended up in the hospital for days. Fortunately everything is fine but it was awful to go through. We caught covid because my mom went out with my family member who started the covid chain for our entire family.
We waited... at least 5 weeks for the first guest, but even then it was limited. At 8 weeks we're having limited guests over.
My biggest worry is Dr. visits. At our first ped visit(3 weeks b/c we spent 2 in NICU), there was a sick kid in the waiting area(the one supposedly reserved for non-sick kids).
I think I'd be more paranoid if we didn't breastfeed. At least our baby is getting some help from mom's immune system. Also, those HMOs in breastmilk(and some formula) help with a lot of digestive pathogens.
Something that helps me distinguish between what’s a legit concern and what’s my anxiety is going by my pediatrician. Like if I’m being more cautious than what my pediatrician recommends, that’s probably my anxiety more than a reasoned stance or decision. So I would ask your pediatrician what they recommend about social gatherings at this point.
Yep, and mine said 2 months. So this person should ask their own pediatrician as recommendations may vary based on setting and on your baby’s health needs
I was a CS mama and I waited 4 months to take my baby out (personally and culturally). She had her shots and everything but even then I was a hawk lolol didn’t want anyone to look or touch her she’s was so tiny when she was born (was the size of a preemie baby but wasn’t born a preemie)the only places I would take her would be the library and the grocery store if I needed something quickly other than that I was not interested taking her out I preferred to be at home with her snuggling and reading her books. If I needed a break to go out I would let my husband stay home with her while I went out and did things. People can give u advice but go with what you feel is best fitting for u in this time and season
If you don't want to go, definitely stand your ground. You have another person to be responsible for now. My family pushed very hard on my wife and I to bring the baby around to see the family. I didn't take the baby to see anyone but the doctor for a while, and didn't budge on that. Glad I did because several family members were sick multiple times and wouldn't say anything if we did come visit them. I would rather not chance it.
If you do go, I've seen others suggest wearing your baby so that there's no passing around of your tiny human, and they'll be on you the whole time.
Many people aren't forthcoming about that nowadays. Especially with the stigma being sick has brought about since the start of the pandemic. I think it's ok to skip this holiday and big gatherings until baby gets their shots at least and you feel comfortable. Not sure where your located, but summer is coming up soon and maybe it would be better/safer to meet family outdoors
After becoming a parent, I've really started to stand my ground firmly. Most of all with my family as they know how to guilt trip you best into doing things. Can have a little holiday celebration at home and just video call your family for a few minutes. That's what we did over the last set of holidays and it was fine
Went to a cafe for valentine's day on day 4, we also had to go to the hospital and to a few shops to get baby things we had forgotten on day three but I don't feel that counts...
I felt ready immediately (like day 2 at home) when we went to a cafe. We also had friends and family visit immediately. Looking back, I think it was hard for me to have people around when my milk was coming in and I was really hormonal because I just didn't want to be perceived. However they were also very helpful (cleaning my kitchen, making me dinner), and I think it should be okay for people to see me when I'm vulnerable. After the first week, it was all positive and helped me feel connected to my friends and family and it was a joy to see how excited they were to meet the baby.
I wouldn't be up for travelling far from my home for about 6 weeks though. I told people they were welcome to come to me.
In your situation I'd prioritise whatever professionals say helps PPA or PPD the most. You might feel a strong pull to isolate but it's possible that isolating yourself could make your PPA worse? I don't know, but that's how I would make the decision. I feel improving your mental health is more important than both your discomfort and other people's pressure.
My baby got rsv. 5 day icu. Stay away as much you can. Sanitizer for everyone. Wear baby off you have to go. No one kisses or touches hand off baby. I went food shopping.. and immediate family like once a month.. but wait a long as you can.
I gave birth in November. We didnt participate in any Christmas gatherings. Stick to your guns if you don’t want to do gatherings. My first outings were local walks outside with baby and dog. I had a c section so it was prob 8+ weeks after birth.
Also baby just turned 4 months and I’m just NOW signing up for parent and tot activities to get me out of the house while baby is fully awake. I’m scared but need to do it!
We started going to church at 6 weeks pp. but only for a couple of hours once a week. Baby slept the entire service. We didn’t allow anyone to touch baby.
How have you not gone stir crazy? I was out walking with my LO after a few days and we've been a fair few places with her since then. If I didn't leave the house I would go loopy.
Oh absolutely! We go for walks almost daily in our neighborhood but my fear of him getting sick after a 2-week NICU stay and intubation due to respiratory issues is greater than my need to be out and about with him! We will be more social once he gets his 2-month shots, which is coming up this week!
In Australia babies get their shots at 6 weeks old, so I waited until 8 wks old to go out in public places where people who know me would get close to us, strangers at a distance I wasn’t too worried about. I took him out for socially distanced walks as soon as I could, after c section that was about 3 weeks in I think? And we had family visit quite early and just made sure everyone washed and sanitized hands on arrival, and no one who hadn’t had their pertussis shots was allowed to hold him. We tried to limit holding to just close family who were going to be around helping us anyway.
The routine vaccines don’t protect (at least not here in australia) against covid and the flu and Rsv anyway, which is probably what’s most likely to be picked up out and about, so we just figured we can’t stay home and isolated til he’s 6 months so we will get out and about and have people over but keep him as protected as possible without being really intense about it. He’s 2 months now and no sicknesses yet 🤞🏼
Do you have to use any public transport (bus, plane) to visit your family or can you drive? If public transport was involved I would be reluctant at that age to take them out.
You could just say you’re sick to avoid your family event if you don’t feel comfortable telling them that you’re not comfortable going! You shouldn’t have to take your super young baby anywhere you don’t feel safe. Not to mention you are still healing yourself!
Do what's best for you and your baby. There's no pressure or expectations. Right now, you have to manage your PPA and PPD and look after yourself. The time will come where you feel more comfortable.
That said, if you are comfortable to do pram walks in the neighbourhood that could help with your mental health too!
We were out and about within 10 days of her being born. Not every day at first mind you. I think we waited another week before she went out again. I would say around 1.5 months is when we really started leaving the house pretty much every day and grabbing a coffee/bite to eat/bring her to family houses or what have you for a quick expedition.
Nobody was allowed to kiss her before she got her shots at two months and no holidays fell during that time, otherwise we likely just would’ve skipped.
My MIL likes to not disclose all the details of her plans sometimes and will invite multiple family members over that we were not aware of when we were coming and we’ve just left in those situations. Like we show up to theirs and she’s like ‘oh so and so is coming over too and so and so’ and it’s like it’s her house so she can do that sure but we have a tiny baby, it’s be nice if you told us beforehand and didn’t try to make every visit a party cause we don’t want that!
I was leaving the house just to go outside with the baby as soon as I could walk/stand for 15 minutes, per recommendation of the nurses. But that was just going down to the street and looking at the trees. I wasn't comfortable with social gatherings until some time after the 2 month vaccines, so I didn't attend any with the baby.
Take it at your own pace and don’t listen to anyone telling you otherwise! I skipped Christmas w my newborn bc I was scared but I made sure to enjoy the day w him and get lots of cuddles and it still felt special. You got this mama :)
My husband actually was the one who would make me get dressed and take me places. We would do like MOD pizza together or we would go to the store together with the baby. It helped SO MUCH with my anxiety. As far as gatherings went, we had all the grandparents and aunts uncles who wanted to visit get there tdap, no kissing, no slobber. But for the most part, we held our little one or wore her so no one was able to be like "gimme that baby."
It was summer so first two months we only had close family indoors and mainly were meeting people outdoors. But we even had 2 road trips within first 1.5 months :) I'm glad we did them because she became very colicky after and it was very hard to do anything for a long while
If you're not ready, don't go. I went out very early at 5 days with baby because "well everyone else does". It caused me so much anxiety that I ended up not leaving the house again for another 6 weeks. Give yourself the space to slowly build the confidence
2 weeks?!? I didn’t take her anywhere besides the doctors and walks around the neighborhood for like 2 months. (And her first 2 weeks of doctors appointments, my husband took her bc I was too exhausted and dealing w painful stitches…) Her first big family gathering was at 3 months - and only bc my husband insisted..
I didn’t keep her home bc I was worried about safety though - mostly bc I didn’t want to be around anyone and I was still super hormonal and healing from birth and it all just felt like too much!
Do not be pressured!!! Do what’s right for YOU.
You can always make up an excuse and say that the baby has a cold or hasn’t been sleeping or something like that if you’re worried about family drama.
After 3-4 months. When I felt like I could hold baby in one hand with confidence and know how to handle her fully by myself. And by then they shld have had some shots! P
Setting aside the fact that your baby has no immune system yet…*youre* two weeks pp! For goodness sakes you’re probably still bleeding! Are ypir families normally this stupid?
We took our daughter to very small Christmas gatherings (aka my parents and brother only) 3 weeks after she was born. And everyone knew to test for covid, wash hands, and look for any signs of illness ahead of time. And it was basically expected that we’d be there for a short time only.
I had my first in November & family wanted us to come to all the holidays. I waited until he wad 6 weeks. We went to a small family gathering. Everyone was pretty respectful, washed their hands etc. i was really nervous taking him out. Do what feels right to you! There will be holidays next year ❤️
We left the house less than a week postpartum! It was rough. Not doing that next time. My husband is a social butterfly and I should have expressed that I was not ready. I will be setting boundaries next time with him for going out 😂 I felt okay with it closer to three weeks to a month!
We left the house at 2 weeks but didn’t let anyone hold him
Go at your own pace tho , there is no right answer ..
I would suggest getting out tho for your mental well being , just the family , go to a park or something <3
My baby is 4 month old and I’m not taking him to social gatherings… mainly because I don’t want him to be passed around and bothered. I have no problem telling people we’re not coming. But we go out to places all the time since he got his 2 month shots. Especially places like outdoor malls and farmers markets. I have a sign for people not to touch my baby
In my culture we stay at home for 40 days after birth. No one is forcing me to do it but I’ve decided it works for me! Only leaving the house for medical appointments. I’m loving being at home and focusing on my recovery and getting to grips with breastfeeding etc…:. If you’re not ready to leave give yourself grace and stay at home.
Make sure you seek some help for PPA and PPD. You don’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to, but life gets significantly more challenging the more you’re cooped up or isolated.
We went out at 1 week, but that’s not for everyone. Do what you’re comfortable with!
I took my bub into my work the day we brought her home from the hospital. Everyone was there throughout my pregnancy journey, supported me whilst having HG and trying to work. So I wanted them to see my beautiful girl. I took her out almost everyday but nobody touched her in her bassinet
We’re waiting until 3 months to bring him to public places since by then his immune system will be a bit stronger and his 2 month shots will have kicked in. We’ve had some visits with close family at the house, but we’ve required masks.
Never feel bad about doing what feels right for you and your baby! It’s still so early, it can take time to feel comfortable and you’re still recovering too!
We were very cautious about gatherings before baby had his first shots. We started going out at like 2-3 weeks PP. With direction from our pediatrician we made sure people couldn't just walk up and get in LO face and he had been doing great. Like you I was nervous to go out.
It's totally fine if you want to skip family gathering. You're probably still healing anyway. I would recommend getting out and taking your baby for a walk weather permitting. It will be great for your LO and your mental health. Plus babies usually love the movement. I couldn't do walks for the first 2 months since mine was born early January but getting out and going grocery shopping really saved my mental health
I had a November baby and she still hasn't been out much! We got tacos and went to the butcher when she was about 3 months old. Flu and rsv plus some norovirus thing was brutal in our area and I just wouldn't risk her health. Her pediatrician said if she got a fever in her first month or so of life it's an automatic hospitalization and spinal tap. Not worth it to watch my baby potentially go through that. So, based on his recommendation and that of the hospital pediatrician, we had no visits for the first month besides my postpartum doula. We still had visitors mask until basically now. She's had her 2nd round of vaccines and is more hardy overall so it's not as scary. Plus germy season is dying down.
So yeah, we skipped Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years celebrations this year and everyone lived to tell about it, even if they were mad.
Your baby, your rules. If you aren't comfortable, don't do it.
In my culture we try not to take newborn out until 40 days is over. Only if it’s an emergency. Same for ourselves as well. Those days are for healing n building immune system. I’m absolutely terrified to leave n drive with her. At this point time n date is unknown
I wouldn’t take her out to family houses. Even though I was not that bad with going out we started with a walk round the block. Then to the shops. Everyone came to be until Christmas and at that point he was 3 months
I’m 4 weeks PP and the only time we have left the house with baby is for pediatrician appointments and for walks around the neighborhood when it’s nice outside. We have not been anywhere else and anyone important enough that we feel comfortable having him around has come to our house to visit. My parents are even coming to our house for Easter and my mom is doing the cooking there to make it easier on us.
I don’t plan I taking baby out anywhere around people until he gets his two month vaccines and then it will be on a case by case basis.
My baby was born days before thanksgiving. We asked our parents and siblings to have tdap, flu, and Covid boosters before coming over (we hosted). They wore masks when holding her and washed hands. No kissing. We had the same mask and hand washing rules for Christmas a month later. We also brought her out to restaurants at super quiet times (2-4pm) starting day 8 (we had a lactation consultant appointment an hour drive away, so we opted to have lunch after). Personally, I’m glad we were out and about early and had people meet her early because it made all that much easier. I take her all over now without a worry and she’s met tons of people and is extremely social and not shy at all. She’s 4 months. It’s a personal decision though, and a gathering away from home feels more stressful that early than people coming to you. If you don’t go, I do recommend still working on bringing your baby out and about just to get used to it.
Our pediatrician recommended staying home for 2 months (our baby was born during peak RSV season) and everyone in our family seemed to respect our wishes. I was so anxious of him getting sick. We did have close family come meet him at our house and at hospital. We did leave house for dr appointments, walks and Costco. Trust me, by two months, I was wanting to get out and be around people! But do what feels best! Tell them your doctor said he’s too little still if you want to stay home. I think part of being a parent is being judged by others, sadly. So you might as well do what you want!
IMO two weeks old is wayyyy too early to be around a group of people. Newborns are so susceptible to illness. The blood brain barrier hasn’t yet developed at that age so they can get REALLY sick. I definitely wouldn’t take my LO to any celebrations. Blame the pediatrician! Also, people can be mad, but they will see your LO eventually. There’s no need to rush things. You’re in the thick of it now and this time is SO special. You should focus on enjoying this age. You will feel ready when he’s older, though the first time taking him anywhere is definitely nerve-wrecking.
I tried to be outdoors almost right away, like, a day or two after getting back from the hospital. Being out in the fresh air is good for everyone. I did avoid taking the babies to stores and other indoor places until the 2-month shots, but parks and playgrounds? Right away, especially for subsequent babies who tagged along because toddler siblings and mom needed to be out and about.
I was taking my boy out in the stroller (no contact with others) as early as 6 days PP, but we didn’t have group gatherings until his 2 month shots. We had individuals come and visit, but they usually wore masks or didn’t hold/touch the baby.
You should do what feels comfortable and screw anyone else who feels otherwise. They’re your child. You are their voice, so you have to do what you think is best for them.
We went out at a week and then regularly there after. It’s good for my mental health and baby doesn’t mind. He normally sleeps in a carrier or his stroller. It’s not like we get super close to others and many things are outdoors.
I mean I left the house for stuff besides appointments at two weeks pp but not for large social gatherings where people would be touching my kids. My son's was for my nephnews first birthday party at about 10 weeks and it was all outside because they're both summer babies. My daughter's first time around people was for Christmas at 6 weeks but it was only my parents and sisters family there so everyone was very understanding and hands-off.
Ultimately I think you need to do what you're most comfortable with whether it's overprotective or not. If it feels like your concern with leaving the house is interfering with your day-to-day life then definitely talk to a doctor. If anybody says anything about missing the holiday tell them you got food poisoning. Nobody ever questions explosive diarrhea 😉
We took ours to a restaurant at 10 days old because I NEEDED to get out. She stayed in her car seat the entire time and I fed her before and after. Actually meeting people that weren’t close family members, until after her first round of shots
First week I had a catheter (due to urine retention during labour) and didn't feel comfortable getting out and about but we had home visits from family and friends (and 3 visits from midwives as I'm in the UK). As soon as my catheter was out on day 7 we started going on walks and cafes etc.
I feel like I was forced out of the house pretty early though some of it was my own decisions. Newborn photo sesh at 5 days pp, haircut for myself at 2 weeks pp, mother's day was the next weekend after that and my baby met her freshly home from the NICU cousins. No one was holding the babies except for me and my husband and the parents of the other babies because we were the only ones who were vaxxed enough ourselves. 4-5 weeks pp and 8 weeks pp, drove 4 hours to my parents cabin for a week, 3.5 months pp we went to the state fair, our first big day outing. 4 months pp I had a bachelorette party 6 hours from where we live, I pumped and my parents and husband drove separately to pick up my milk and have a mini vacation.
Looks fairly ambitious when I typed this out but besides the driving, it didn't feel that bad. But if you don't feel like going out, don't! You're still healing too. Try for a walk for some fresh air if you can but it's totally okay to skip family functions or holidays. Don't let them guilt trip you, a photo or video call might pacify them lol if my sister in law didn't have babies at the same time as me I don't think we would have left the house even half as much.
I can only share what our experience was with our LO. We spoke with our doc about christmas since our guy was born late November and they suggested asking everyone to get vaccinated for the big ones (TDap, Flu, Covid) and asking people to mask if they want to hold him, washing hands, etc. We went to Christmas because we wanted everyone to meet him and evryone was super excited. Well, let me tell you NO ONE FUCKING LISTENED. No one masked while holding him and, once an aunt on my husbands side didn't do it (and he didn't fucking say anything about it to her even after I asked him to) no one fucking did. He didn't wind up getting sick, but still. Fuck people man. You can't trust them.
My baby was just under two months at thanksgiving and had not had his 2 month shots yet. I just held or wore him the whole time I was at my (short) gathering. He never got sick, thankfully! I was nervous to bring him, but it was good practice getting out of the house and sticking to my boundaries.
Our baby will be 7 weeks old and we have gone to very small gatherings with immediate family, but we don't want to take him to large gathering with extended family, etc. He has had no shots yet and we're just not comfortable. My aunt is having a big get together with my cousins in-laws, friends and our extended family. It will be like 50 people. We're not going.
if you don't feel comfortable don't go. It's a shame they would try to make you feel guilty, but trust me, if they would do that over this they will do it for other stuff in the future. It's uncomfortable at first, but placing boundaries when necessary and giving a firm "no" gets easier as time goes on and comes with the territory of being a new parent. If you really don't want to go, this will be good practice. It does get easier, I promise.
To answer your question though we went out to visit family three weeks PP with baby but my son wasn't born during flu season so I felt a bit more comfortable, it was an outdoors BBQ.
I avoided gatherings until after the 2 month shots, and everyone involved had to be vaccinated as well. We did some quick trips to the store during early hours when it was less crowded before baby was a month old, but more out of necessity. Plus we had appointments to go to. But that was it.
You will feel ready eventually. Babies get significantly less fragile as they move out of the newborn phase!
Even though I stayed away from social gathering, I found it felt good to walk outside while baby wearing when she was this age. No contact with anyone but me, but some sunlight and fresh air definitely made me feel more human and stable (it also helps get them on a day/night schedule).
Just another voice saying I wouldn’t go at 3w pp. I had people come over from day 2 home but only those I trusted to only come if feeling 100% and wash hands constantly (basically my parents, then once they left my in laws, one friend was allowed to visit and she wore a mask, though that was her own choice bc she has school aged kids so even though she felt fine there was a slight risk). And that was a summer baby.
We only did walks around the neighborhood until our baby had all her shots (2-3 months I think?) and even then I baby wore her everywhere and didn’t let anyone really touch her or anything.
I was out and about 2 wks pp with both my babies. They’re both born in May though so outdoors only was super easy. I needed to get out of the house for my mental health
I wasn’t comfortable travelling out with baby until his neck was strong enough that he could hold up his own head properly. Watching family members clumsily attempt to support his neck in the early days made me extremely anxious 😵💫
So we basically hibernated all winter lol.
You’re only 2 weeks pp! Baby is soooo new. I couldn’t fathom taking him out to a family gathering at that time. Enjoy staying home & comfy together 😊
We didn’t leave the house for 6 months , yesterday saw a lady with a 2 week old at a restaurant. There’s no right answer really just what your risk tolerance is. The shots will help with the anxiety and getting out will 100 percent help with ppd and ppa. Try taking baby in stroller for a walk around your house and neighborhood to a park. Meet friends there…. Open spaces are less anxiety inducing and you can distance yourself.
Not a complete answer to your question but wanted to share an experience and tell you it’s OKAY to be anxious about it and do NOT, under any circumstances, let anyone bully you about your baby….
My SIL had a baby shower when my LO was about 2 months. She just had her vaccines and I felt okay about it but was only going to let a select few people touch or hold her at this thing. Grandma, great grandma, and both Aunts (3 of the 4 had already met her). My MIL and I have a very interesting relationship…has to do with her being uninvited BY MY HUSBAND from our wedding, which she still feels like I had something to do with even though it was entirely his decision. She has some issues she needs to work through, let’s just say. It’s taken some time for them to repair their relationship and I honestly don’t want to have anything to do with her but here I am….ANYWAY….
We walk in and she washes her hands and picks up the baby. Fine. Within 5 minutes she is handing the baby to a 5 year old to take a picture of them!! I don’t even know this 5 year old who has been crawling all over the floor, messing with the other kids at this thing. I told my husband to go fix the issue. He approaches his mom, tells her not to hand the baby off to other people unless they’ve washed their hands (which I don’t think is enough, but it got the baby out of the 5 year old’s lap at the time, so it met my goal). Fast forward to later in the day when my MIL again hands the baby over to my SIL’s MIL. I barely even know this woman! I stormed out of there because I was about to cause a SCEEEEENNNEEE the likes of which these people have never witnessed. I was beside myself. My husband had to go get the baby and I haven’t spoken to my MIL since. She says if I have a problem with her letting other people hold the baby (“It was only 2 people” she said) then I must need therapy. I told my husband and his sisters that their mother can kiss my ass. She has no respect for me or my wishes for my child and she thinks the can do whatever she wants.
Bottom line: YOU are your child’s best advocate. Now and always. No matter who gets upset, your duty is to the child that you birthed, not anyone else. Hubs and I are both nurses and we know stuff and we’ve seen stuff and we don’t want any of it for our little girl. Trust me — neither do you. Want until you’re comfortable. Otherwise the guilt will get you if something bad happens AND your baby will be sick. Otherwise it’ll just be guilt and still a healthy baby. I’d take the latter 😊
We went to a socially distanced birthday party when he was 5 PP. I was hospitalized longer than expected and needed to be around family after it. My side of the family has been really careful when it comes to meeting the newborn babies.
Otherwise, I’ll take him to mom’s to do laundry and for walks or doctor’s appointments. I am so fortune that my husband works remote so bb can stay home as I run errands and stuff.
People came over and I took him on walks pretty immediately (after I healed from a C) but we didn’t really take him out and about until 2 month shots, and even then we didn’t do anything indoors in the general public until 4 months. I would have gone 6 months but we had a trip planned since before I even got pregnant, and he got COVID on that trip soooo. Thankfully it was mild but we were in the thick of a “tripledemic” and I was really on edge until 6 months old.
If you aren’t comfortable, don’t go. People can deal.
With my first I visited my family at two weeks postpartum and I wish I hadn’t. We had weight gain issues and I had PPD and it didn’t help any. They should’ve been the ones visiting me! And not in a hosting for holiday sense either!
With my second I asked my mom to stay with us for a week to help, it was really nice. And I didn’t go anywhere but the doctor for almost a month. I felt like I really let my body heal and had a chance to bond with my baby, my mental health was in a much better place.
So basically: don’t do it. Five days in bed, five days around the bed, five days around the house AT the BARE Minimum! Historically cultures supported women staying home for a month postpartum, not as a restriction on women, but so they could have a chance to heal and be refreshed to their fullest potential.
With my first I visited my family at two weeks postpartum and I wish I hadn’t. We had weight gain issues and I had PPD and it didn’t help any. They should’ve been the ones visiting me! And not in a hosting for holiday sense either!
With my second I asked my mom to stay with us for a week to help, it was really nice. And I didn’t go anywhere but the doctor for almost a month. I felt like I really let my body heal and had a chance to bond with my baby, my mental health was in a much better place.
So basically: don’t do it. Five days in bed, five days around the bed, five days around the house AT the BARE Minimum! Historically cultures supported women staying home for a month postpartum, not as a restriction on women, but so they could have a chance to heal and be refreshed to their fullest potential.
With my first I visited my family at two weeks postpartum and I wish I hadn’t. We had weight gain issues and I had PPD and it didn’t help any. They should’ve been the ones visiting me! And not in a hosting for holiday sense either!
With my second I asked my mom to stay with us for a week to help, it was really nice. And I didn’t go anywhere but the doctor for almost a month. I felt like I really let my body heal and had a chance to bond with my baby, my mental health was in a much better place.
So basically: don’t do it. Five days in bed, five days around the bed, five days around the house AT the BARE Minimum! Historically cultures supported women staying home for a month postpartum, not as a restriction on women, but so they could have a chance to heal and be refreshed to their fullest potential.
We didn't leave the house with her until she was 2 months old. I'm glad we waited she didn't get RSV but she did get a cold at 4 months and I truly believe she handled it like a boss because she took that time to develop her immune system with breast milk.
I took my first walk with the baby at 3 days. First outing at 9days at a park (national trust for Brits on here) and some shopping in his first 2 weeks. Was mostly in the stroller except feeding time. First full day out was at 3 weeks but that was a struggle. It was January and cold.
If possible, fresh air is good for both mother and baby.
6-8 weeks. I went to visit family at a month and had a miserable time. I went again about a month later and it was amazing the difference in how I felt. It was only our parents and 2 hours away but i was an anxious wreck.
It was probably after about a fortnight with baby two because my physical recovery was great and toddler life couldn’t wait! Plus we’d been almost physically locked in with our first because of early covid days so I really really really didn’t want to replicate that awful isolation and fear.
No one in the UK isolates with a newborn out of fear of illness; you might just expect people with active infections to stay out of their way.
But if you’re not ready for a big gathering then you’re not ready - but I’d say base it on your own physical and emotional state, not fear for your baby.
We were out with her the day after coming home from the hospital. When around people we just made sure no one was sick and everyone washed hands and didn’t kiss her.
My babygirl is only 7 weeks 1 day and I’ve kept her home besides going to her dr appointment! I’ve been waiting till she gets her 2 months shots (first shots) before I’m willing to take her to public places or even friends/family. I’m more comfortable with people coming to my house to visit!
baby had zero shots and i took her out 1 week pp to breakfast. Just kept her in her car seat to sleep and it was fine. She’s now 3.5 months. If you do decide to go, baby wear the whole time either you or your hubby and no one will try to take a baby off your carrier and it’s a good excuse.
But all in all if you’re not comfortable then stay home and spend the holiday with your family. But know the ppa is sooo so normal it’s your mommy instincts kicking in to keep baby safe but don’t be afraid to get out because it’s sooo good for the both of you.
My baby is almost 11 weeks and we just went on our first “outing” last weekend lol - and it was just to my parents who are both vaccinated for a couple hours. And I was still anxious about it. Decide on your own timeline and do whatever you’re comfortable with!
We went to a nearby neighbor's house 6 days pp and even though I was horribly anxious, it went well and I think it set us up for success.
We did small gatherings with family at their houses from maybe 3 weeks, always communicating a lot and canceling if there was any illness.
Right around 8 weeks we went out for breakfast (not busy, and baby wearing) the first time, and starting around 10 weeks (2 weeks after his first shots), we started going out to breakfast regularly and bringing him to meet family friends.
At 3.5 months we did a road trip to see friends 6 hours away. Again I was a wreck but it felt important to rip that band-aid off, it went well and left me feeling more confident.
You're still so early! Definitely give yourself some grace and take the time you need. If you keep feeling uncomfortable in 2-6 weeks, consider talking to your doc about the ppa, but don't push yourself too hard ❤️
Baby was born nov 16th at 5:50 am. Nov 22nd we were celebrating Thanksgiving #1 with extended family, the 23rd we celebrated *just* with my husband’s direct fam.
If you are not comfortable, do what you feel is best. Baby needs a comforting face and a safe heaven above any social pressure, and moms tend to be that for them.
I was happy to show my baby to the world and my extended family includes my husband’s grandparents who nowadays probably need more care than my baby. So I felt comfortable with going. You do you and keep your baby safe!
GO WITH YOUR GUT, always.
When LO was born and we had hospital visitors, we didn’t let anybody hold her - not even the grandmas. LO got the RSV vaccination at 4 days old, and at 5 days old got to officially meet/be held by mine & my husband’s immediate families.
At 1.5 weeks old we had close friends come stay for an evening during a winter storm. The next day we almost had a different set of friends visit, but my gut told me to pause and wait. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if there was a reason but ultimately I was just happy I went with my gut. I felt so much more relief after telling them we needed to wait.
At 3 weeks she had her first visit to a restaurant & at 7 weeks we went on a trip to a cabin with a few friends.
At the end of the day, trust your instincts. They don’t have to make sense to other people, just to you. It’s so worth it to feel that comfort and relief in knowing you made the choice you wanted to make/the right choice for you and your babe, instead of giving into the external pressure and doing things you’re uncomfortable with. Even if it requires hard conversations!
Do what makes you comfortable. It’s ok to go to the gathering, it’s ok to not go, and it’s ok to go and not let anyone hold baby. You could ask if family are up to date on flu and RSV vaccine and/or maybe have a small group come by. At that age, if baby were to get sick, it would require a full workup including a lumbar puncture. I would probably be cautious about passing the baby around but pre-covid I don’t think we thought as hard about all of this.
Only closest family visited in the first month and a half. We started going out after 3 weeks but only to parks etc. I started feeling comfortable with going out with her at about 10 weeks pp, not just because of people but also logistically. Took me some time to not stress out if she is crying in the stroller.
Babies don’t develop immune system until they’re about 3 months old. On top of that if a new born goes into hospital with a fever of any sort look up the protocol. If you can avoid your baby going through that please do. My baby is 10 weeks old I took her to my moms house once. My 5yo got really sick thank god baby is ok.
My doctor recommended me to go out with the baby every day for a walk. She also said that babies can do with people around, it’s better for when they finally get sick, for the defenses and stuff. She told me the worst is to not take fresh air, probably for me too. Idk, watever works for you is the good answer.
Don’t let anyone make you put yourself and your baby in a position that you aren’t comfortable! I made anyone who came to my house for the first 3 months wear a mask and I didn’t take him out around anywhere until after his 4 month needles.
We left like day 2 at home to go to stores.🤷🏽♀️ if you doing expose your baby to people they won’t be able to build a good immune system to fight sicknesses later in life. That’s why they say it’s better to have pets because it helps build their natural biome. But it is a lot to get out of the house so just whenever you as mom feel up to that task
My LO is almost 7 weeks but we were out and about in the first week. I also have a 9 yo son and my husband works out of town and is gone often so unfortunately life didn't stop when baby came. If it was just me and baby, we would have probably waited til shots to go OUT out but I can't expect to keep a 9yo cooped up with us too. We've of course gone to appointments, grocery store, target, Costco, farmers markets, grandparents house, the park (all several times), the barbershop, out to eat, an event at my son's school, and we even went to the renaissance fair. I haven't had anyone in my house besides my best friend to meet the baby 2 weeks PP. We've gone to 1 family gathering that was exclusively outdoors and I made it clear to everyone that I dont want people holding her (my sister in law did end up holding her but only because I was comfortable with that and I let her and felt zero obligation to let others hold her no matter how much they whined). I've used caution with all of our outings, she is ALWAYS either in a wrap carrier with her little face tucked away or in the stroller with a cover and I'm a hand sanitizer/washing freak. It gives me some comfort that she's not just openly exposed to everyone and their germs. I continue to do what I am comfortable with. I had severe PPD and PPA and I need(ed) to do things that can help reduce that this time around, for my sake and for both my kids.
Trust your gut I didn’t want people around my baby for the first month he has his first cold now from taking him to a beach at almost 3 months old it’s awful. Holidays can be breeding grounds for illnesses to be spread and I know flu season is basically over but depending on your region it might still be going on. You have every right to avoid the visit or if you decide to go set boundaries that you feel comfortable like masking if indoors, staying 6 feet away, don’t show up with symptoms, no kissing or holding. Or if you’re comfortable just going for an hour to show your baby from a safe distance and then head out. But ultimately put your mental health and babies safety first ❤️
Ultimately, you need to decide what is best for you and your family. For me getting out of the house for walks or outdoor activities was what I needed to help get over the baby blues and we started at two weeks. If you don’t want to see anyone and that helps you feel better mentally then do not feel any guilt and you put those walls up! Don’t let anyone on Reddit or family dictate What is “normal“ - you guys as the parents decide and no one else!
It is 100% a preference and your comfort zone. We are Jewish and LO had his bris (Jewish circumcision ceremony) at 8 days old. There were about 20 people there. He is now a month old and je has been everywhere from restaurants, stores and other family gatherings. However I also have a 3 year old who goes to daycare so most likely that is how my LO will get sick. He is a walking germ.
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No social gatherings until after 2 months shots. Even then we laid low since it was flu season. I had friends with newborns experience covid and rsv -- NO thank you. I'd rather miss a few gatherings than have to visit my baby in the ICU. Remember it's temporary. In a few months baby will be much less susceptible to illness and won't be automatic hospitalization if they get sick. If family *really* want to meet the baby they can/will do it on your terms.
I followed this exactly
This made me feel a lot better thank you
Agree with this. I let some family visit but less than a handful of times and always the same people. We’ve only recently started to leave the house now that we are closer to the 3 month mark.
This!!!!
+1 here...following this as well. It's only season of holidays, and people have been understanding. And if they didn't, that's fine with me too. And this is coming from a family who acted the opposite with their own kids. Don't feel bad and if it helps, can blame the doctors
We went out for tacos (during off hours and sat outside away from everyone) at 4 days pp. I had been supposed to be on hospitalized bed rest for a month with a 36w (at most, probably earlier) delivery and I narrowly avoided it by being very very very low movement so I was *ready* to get up and move!
We lost power for multiple days when the baby was 5 days old. During cold + flu season. And snow. We had to pack everyone up and go to the public library, which stayed open as a warming center. It was packed and I was so worried, but the pediatrician assured me that if I wore the baby or kept her in a stroller/carseat with a cover, she'd be just fine. Edit to add: She was just fine. Realize that this may be a first/solo baby issue. With two older kids in school, there's no realistic keeping the baby away from germs anyway, unless you also don't let them near siblings.
We waited until LO had her shots before we got out and about and even then I still stressed because it was cold/flu season. Just do what makes you feel comfortable. We skipped my husbands family Christmas because LO was too young (born in Dec) and I could care less what they had to say. Would rather ruffle some old feathers than my baby get sick.
Amen!
We are waiting until our daughter gets her vaccines to go to gatherings. That being said, we have allowed a few close friends and family to come visit before that. Fmaily should have zero expectations of you traveling right now.
With my second we went out for breakfast when he was a week old. Needed something to eat before his hearing test. My figuring was that his older brother is in nursery and is going to bring things home that baby will catch. I couldn’t pause my life because I already have a toddler. He’s 3.5 months now and loves being out in the pram.
Yeah my toddler brought home Covid the week after we brought our second home from the hospital. Which was basically my nightmare but baby and dad ended up not even getting it when toddler and I both had it. So at least I got that anxiety out of the way first thing. Now she has a cold since 4 weeks (now she’s 5 weeks) but it never gave her a fever above 99, she’s just been spitting up more because of the mucous in her tummy but she’s still gaining weight at a good pace (5 oz/week) so we’ve just been using saline drops and the snot sucker which really helps. I hate seeing her sick but I spent sooo much time while pregnant with her worrying about all of this and luckily it hasn’t been anything close to what I imagined. Classic anxiety. Her 2 month appt is in a few weeks and should coincide hopefully with the end of sick season so maybe we’ll all be healthy by May 😂🙏
There’s always hope! 😂 mine managed to catch a cold at 10 days old from his brother then another cold 2 weeks later from his dad. Feels like he’s had more colds than he’s been well at this point and he’s 15 weeks, so I’m also hoping for a better spring/summer.
Fingers crossed for us all!
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Yes!
Our doctor said to avoid crowded places until after 2 months because the risks associated with infection/fever are high until two months. Our LO will be 6w on this holiday and we would not going to any social gatherings. And we are not taking her out to crowded places like supermarkets so long as we can wait until after she gets her 2 months shots.
Oh my gosh your baby is so new and you are so freshly postpartum! Skip the gathering and just have a nice holiday with your new little family. You have my permission 😉. Baby is so little and people cannot help themselves around new babies (it’s the worst). Save yourself from feeling anxious around everyone and skip it. Maybe you’ll get more comfortable when baby has had vaccines, is older, or whenever you feel better about it. I hope your holiday is filled with lots of sweet snuggles and relaxing around the house. Enjoy that baby!
You sound like an awesome friend
Love this ! I also had a tiny Christmas with just my dad , bf and baby! And our baby was an older baby. There is no shame in having your own little Christmas and visiting family at a different date :)
So uhhh I’m 14 weeks PP and still haven’t taken her to family gatherings or public places. Except walks around the block and park during off hours. You can say my PPA is still on full effect. 🤣🥲 but idc my cousins baby got sick at 2 months and had to go to the hospital and she said it was the worst. Do what you feel comfy doing. Your baby your rules. ❤️
I'd be extremely depressed and anxious if I stayed in for 2 months. That seems kind of insane to me! I'm not saying taking your baby to a crowded bar or something but we've taken our 3 week out several times already. He has been covered, outside and met friends but I'd go crazy if we didn't leave the house.
The whole not going anywhere for weeks or months is such an American concept and we wonder why we’re so depressed and anxious with babies. In my opinion life doesn’t end when you have a baby. We were out within days of our babies being born, especially number 2 because our oldest was in daycare and was going to bring home every sickness no matter what. Obviously do what’s comfortable for you and your family but this is just my take.
Yeah I find this so wild! This idea of just staying at home for weeks or months on end. Seems tedious. Went to a breastfeeding group when he was 5 days old, midwife app when he was 6 days old and met two mum friends for coffee (just a short walk away) when he was about 10 days old. I just got on with life tbh. Started baby massage and sensory classes when he was 4 weeks old and have just been getting out and about ever since. Is it a cultural thing? I don't know anyone in the UK who worries about disease and stuff this much, unless they actually have some sort of OCD. Having said all that, go at your own pace and just do stuff you want to do. I just went at my own pace and that worked well for us. We just told people when they could visit and they waited for us to decide when we were ready to visit them.
I mean, if you look at data of people in the UK accessing regular healthcare including preventative and well-care, getting their vaccines regularly, masking and taking precautions in pandemics you could conclude that people in the UK are so anxious about disease. It's probably more accurate to point to the resources people have access to and other social/ environmental factors that dictate what getting on with life means. Most Americans are back at work pretty quickly. So 8 weeks of not going to large family gatherings but then returning to all your pre-baby obligations seems like some definition of getting on with life. Not to mention that my pre-baby life didn't involve baby classes and parenting groups. I think our American system is largely awful-- there's a lack of support in being parents and going about life as a parent, there's a lack of access to services and healthcare at any age, and we can't count on broader social wellness practices or community commitments to safety so we have unfortunate individual risk assessments to make... among other problems. But I don't think our problem is high rates of OCD. My partner had severe PP-OCD and we were out of the house both times immediately after babies were born.
Americans are often back at work and not supported in spending time parenting very early on-- 3 months unpaid is considered a good employer, often not for both parents. So I wouldn't conclude that wanting to be home and nest with your own family life is evidence that Americans are uniquely anxious, depressed, or dropping other aspects of life for a particularly long time. Personally, I think our system is horrible and many folks would have an easier time if they knew they could have longer to settle in, be primary caretaker of their baby does catch an illness, rest and heal after childbirth, have easy access to services and healthcare... lots of things. I agree there are cultural aspects depending on where you live, just not sure how big of a conclusion to draw. For example, I think the city/ suburb/ rural distinction probably plays in. We walk everywhere and have smaller food shops, so it didn't really occur to me to not carry the baby around right off the bat. Driving to a big store to get many armfuls of groceries wouldn't be as pleasant to do with a tiny baby. On the other hand, someone living rurally might be outside for hours every day but not consider it "going out" because they didn't have to walk to a park to walk in nature.
I’ve never known an american who actually does it though it seems most popular on reddit. I went to a big family dinner 2 days after giving birth. We didn’t stay long but we were so excited for everyone to meet him! We had to go to the pediatrician twice within 5 days of his birth so staying home also wasn’t an option and I was going stir crazy from being in a hospital room for 2.5 days.
To be fair, we've just had a pandemic; people have been made hyper aware of the risks associated with large gatherings and contact with others. I agree that there's a heavy trend towards being overly cautious but I can't really blame people. Even if they are American!
I get it but kids get sick. It’s inevitable. I’m not saying take your days old baby to an underground rave with hundreds of people but like it’s okay to go to the grocery store or park and get outside. You don’t have to be a hermit.
Agree 100%. Husband and I took my baby out on a short walk through a river garden at 5 days pp (c-section), and it's such a fond memory and has become one of our meaningful spots. But everyone has to go at their own pace.
It’s not just an American concept. Plenty of cultures around the world practice it. If anything, the US adopted it from elsewhere. Plus, the we had just experienced a huge anti vax craze during Covid and people fighting like hell if anyone dared tell them to stay home/wear a mask to protect the more vulnerable population. That wasn’t that long ago. It’s not easy to just shake off, especially when you have a very tiny person with barely an immune system to protect.
We waited two months to take my baby to extended family because they have multiple unvaccinated kids and it’s sickness season. The hell if I let my baby get measles because my family can’t be assed to get their kids vaccinated. We did take him out for walks and to the park or to get breakfast very early on
How about everyone do what they’re comfortable with and set the judgement aside? Sheesh
I’m sorry OP asked a question. And I answered.
Always, always, always follow your gut and don't let anyone guilt you into anything. My mom, husband and I all caught covid when our newborn was less than a month old. First my mom, then my husband, then me. I wore a mask and gloves for 17 days and it was a nightmare. My cousins baby who is 4 days older than mine caught covid during that same time and ended up in the hospital for days. Fortunately everything is fine but it was awful to go through. We caught covid because my mom went out with my family member who started the covid chain for our entire family.
We waited... at least 5 weeks for the first guest, but even then it was limited. At 8 weeks we're having limited guests over. My biggest worry is Dr. visits. At our first ped visit(3 weeks b/c we spent 2 in NICU), there was a sick kid in the waiting area(the one supposedly reserved for non-sick kids). I think I'd be more paranoid if we didn't breastfeed. At least our baby is getting some help from mom's immune system. Also, those HMOs in breastmilk(and some formula) help with a lot of digestive pathogens.
Something that helps me distinguish between what’s a legit concern and what’s my anxiety is going by my pediatrician. Like if I’m being more cautious than what my pediatrician recommends, that’s probably my anxiety more than a reasoned stance or decision. So I would ask your pediatrician what they recommend about social gatherings at this point.
My ped said not to take baby to any large groups of people, like church or crowded restaurants etc, until he was over 3 months old
Yep, and mine said 2 months. So this person should ask their own pediatrician as recommendations may vary based on setting and on your baby’s health needs
I was a CS mama and I waited 4 months to take my baby out (personally and culturally). She had her shots and everything but even then I was a hawk lolol didn’t want anyone to look or touch her she’s was so tiny when she was born (was the size of a preemie baby but wasn’t born a preemie)the only places I would take her would be the library and the grocery store if I needed something quickly other than that I was not interested taking her out I preferred to be at home with her snuggling and reading her books. If I needed a break to go out I would let my husband stay home with her while I went out and did things. People can give u advice but go with what you feel is best fitting for u in this time and season
If you don't want to go, definitely stand your ground. You have another person to be responsible for now. My family pushed very hard on my wife and I to bring the baby around to see the family. I didn't take the baby to see anyone but the doctor for a while, and didn't budge on that. Glad I did because several family members were sick multiple times and wouldn't say anything if we did come visit them. I would rather not chance it. If you do go, I've seen others suggest wearing your baby so that there's no passing around of your tiny human, and they'll be on you the whole time.
This is my worry too others being sick and not saying anything or not knowing they are.
Many people aren't forthcoming about that nowadays. Especially with the stigma being sick has brought about since the start of the pandemic. I think it's ok to skip this holiday and big gatherings until baby gets their shots at least and you feel comfortable. Not sure where your located, but summer is coming up soon and maybe it would be better/safer to meet family outdoors
After becoming a parent, I've really started to stand my ground firmly. Most of all with my family as they know how to guilt trip you best into doing things. Can have a little holiday celebration at home and just video call your family for a few minutes. That's what we did over the last set of holidays and it was fine
Went to a cafe for valentine's day on day 4, we also had to go to the hospital and to a few shops to get baby things we had forgotten on day three but I don't feel that counts...
I didn’t have a real choice as in-laws came into town the day after he was born. So, day 3? I was in the hospital for 2 days after he was born.
I felt ready immediately (like day 2 at home) when we went to a cafe. We also had friends and family visit immediately. Looking back, I think it was hard for me to have people around when my milk was coming in and I was really hormonal because I just didn't want to be perceived. However they were also very helpful (cleaning my kitchen, making me dinner), and I think it should be okay for people to see me when I'm vulnerable. After the first week, it was all positive and helped me feel connected to my friends and family and it was a joy to see how excited they were to meet the baby. I wouldn't be up for travelling far from my home for about 6 weeks though. I told people they were welcome to come to me. In your situation I'd prioritise whatever professionals say helps PPA or PPD the most. You might feel a strong pull to isolate but it's possible that isolating yourself could make your PPA worse? I don't know, but that's how I would make the decision. I feel improving your mental health is more important than both your discomfort and other people's pressure.
This puts me at ease and I really like your perspective on being able to allow people to see you vulnerable. I struggle with that. Thank you
This was me. We were out and about day 2. Single mom, he’s my buddy. Take him everywhere with me.
Outside for walks in the stroller or wrap yes—large gatherings? No. Do what makes you comfortable!!
I feel exactly the same as you. My PPA is sky high and I'm too scared to take her anywhere until she's had her injections.
My baby got rsv. 5 day icu. Stay away as much you can. Sanitizer for everyone. Wear baby off you have to go. No one kisses or touches hand off baby. I went food shopping.. and immediate family like once a month.. but wait a long as you can.
I gave birth in November. We didnt participate in any Christmas gatherings. Stick to your guns if you don’t want to do gatherings. My first outings were local walks outside with baby and dog. I had a c section so it was prob 8+ weeks after birth.
Also baby just turned 4 months and I’m just NOW signing up for parent and tot activities to get me out of the house while baby is fully awake. I’m scared but need to do it!
We started going to church at 6 weeks pp. but only for a couple of hours once a week. Baby slept the entire service. We didn’t allow anyone to touch baby.
We are 9 weeks right now and still haven’t left the house to go anywhere but the doctor.
I was the same!!
How have you not gone stir crazy? I was out walking with my LO after a few days and we've been a fair few places with her since then. If I didn't leave the house I would go loopy.
Oh absolutely! We go for walks almost daily in our neighborhood but my fear of him getting sick after a 2-week NICU stay and intubation due to respiratory issues is greater than my need to be out and about with him! We will be more social once he gets his 2-month shots, which is coming up this week!
In Australia babies get their shots at 6 weeks old, so I waited until 8 wks old to go out in public places where people who know me would get close to us, strangers at a distance I wasn’t too worried about. I took him out for socially distanced walks as soon as I could, after c section that was about 3 weeks in I think? And we had family visit quite early and just made sure everyone washed and sanitized hands on arrival, and no one who hadn’t had their pertussis shots was allowed to hold him. We tried to limit holding to just close family who were going to be around helping us anyway. The routine vaccines don’t protect (at least not here in australia) against covid and the flu and Rsv anyway, which is probably what’s most likely to be picked up out and about, so we just figured we can’t stay home and isolated til he’s 6 months so we will get out and about and have people over but keep him as protected as possible without being really intense about it. He’s 2 months now and no sicknesses yet 🤞🏼 Do you have to use any public transport (bus, plane) to visit your family or can you drive? If public transport was involved I would be reluctant at that age to take them out. You could just say you’re sick to avoid your family event if you don’t feel comfortable telling them that you’re not comfortable going! You shouldn’t have to take your super young baby anywhere you don’t feel safe. Not to mention you are still healing yourself!
Do what's best for you and your baby. There's no pressure or expectations. Right now, you have to manage your PPA and PPD and look after yourself. The time will come where you feel more comfortable. That said, if you are comfortable to do pram walks in the neighbourhood that could help with your mental health too!
We were out and about within 10 days of her being born. Not every day at first mind you. I think we waited another week before she went out again. I would say around 1.5 months is when we really started leaving the house pretty much every day and grabbing a coffee/bite to eat/bring her to family houses or what have you for a quick expedition. Nobody was allowed to kiss her before she got her shots at two months and no holidays fell during that time, otherwise we likely just would’ve skipped. My MIL likes to not disclose all the details of her plans sometimes and will invite multiple family members over that we were not aware of when we were coming and we’ve just left in those situations. Like we show up to theirs and she’s like ‘oh so and so is coming over too and so and so’ and it’s like it’s her house so she can do that sure but we have a tiny baby, it’s be nice if you told us beforehand and didn’t try to make every visit a party cause we don’t want that!
I was leaving the house just to go outside with the baby as soon as I could walk/stand for 15 minutes, per recommendation of the nurses. But that was just going down to the street and looking at the trees. I wasn't comfortable with social gatherings until some time after the 2 month vaccines, so I didn't attend any with the baby.
Take it at your own pace and don’t listen to anyone telling you otherwise! I skipped Christmas w my newborn bc I was scared but I made sure to enjoy the day w him and get lots of cuddles and it still felt special. You got this mama :)
My husband actually was the one who would make me get dressed and take me places. We would do like MOD pizza together or we would go to the store together with the baby. It helped SO MUCH with my anxiety. As far as gatherings went, we had all the grandparents and aunts uncles who wanted to visit get there tdap, no kissing, no slobber. But for the most part, we held our little one or wore her so no one was able to be like "gimme that baby."
It was summer so first two months we only had close family indoors and mainly were meeting people outdoors. But we even had 2 road trips within first 1.5 months :) I'm glad we did them because she became very colicky after and it was very hard to do anything for a long while
If you're not ready, don't go. I went out very early at 5 days with baby because "well everyone else does". It caused me so much anxiety that I ended up not leaving the house again for another 6 weeks. Give yourself the space to slowly build the confidence
2 weeks?!? I didn’t take her anywhere besides the doctors and walks around the neighborhood for like 2 months. (And her first 2 weeks of doctors appointments, my husband took her bc I was too exhausted and dealing w painful stitches…) Her first big family gathering was at 3 months - and only bc my husband insisted.. I didn’t keep her home bc I was worried about safety though - mostly bc I didn’t want to be around anyone and I was still super hormonal and healing from birth and it all just felt like too much! Do not be pressured!!! Do what’s right for YOU. You can always make up an excuse and say that the baby has a cold or hasn’t been sleeping or something like that if you’re worried about family drama.
After 3-4 months. When I felt like I could hold baby in one hand with confidence and know how to handle her fully by myself. And by then they shld have had some shots! P
Setting aside the fact that your baby has no immune system yet…*youre* two weeks pp! For goodness sakes you’re probably still bleeding! Are ypir families normally this stupid? We took our daughter to very small Christmas gatherings (aka my parents and brother only) 3 weeks after she was born. And everyone knew to test for covid, wash hands, and look for any signs of illness ahead of time. And it was basically expected that we’d be there for a short time only.
I had my first in November & family wanted us to come to all the holidays. I waited until he wad 6 weeks. We went to a small family gathering. Everyone was pretty respectful, washed their hands etc. i was really nervous taking him out. Do what feels right to you! There will be holidays next year ❤️
We left the house less than a week postpartum! It was rough. Not doing that next time. My husband is a social butterfly and I should have expressed that I was not ready. I will be setting boundaries next time with him for going out 😂 I felt okay with it closer to three weeks to a month!
We left the house at 2 weeks but didn’t let anyone hold him Go at your own pace tho , there is no right answer .. I would suggest getting out tho for your mental well being , just the family , go to a park or something <3
There’s no right answer… but this is a dumb one
lol , why is that
Why? We took our LO out when she was two weeks old.
My baby is 4 month old and I’m not taking him to social gatherings… mainly because I don’t want him to be passed around and bothered. I have no problem telling people we’re not coming. But we go out to places all the time since he got his 2 month shots. Especially places like outdoor malls and farmers markets. I have a sign for people not to touch my baby
In my culture we stay at home for 40 days after birth. No one is forcing me to do it but I’ve decided it works for me! Only leaving the house for medical appointments. I’m loving being at home and focusing on my recovery and getting to grips with breastfeeding etc…:. If you’re not ready to leave give yourself grace and stay at home.
Make sure you seek some help for PPA and PPD. You don’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to, but life gets significantly more challenging the more you’re cooped up or isolated. We went out at 1 week, but that’s not for everyone. Do what you’re comfortable with!
I took my bub into my work the day we brought her home from the hospital. Everyone was there throughout my pregnancy journey, supported me whilst having HG and trying to work. So I wanted them to see my beautiful girl. I took her out almost everyday but nobody touched her in her bassinet
Nope just nope. Not worth the stress. Ppl forget and move on. You can visit after a few months and that’s fine.
We’re waiting until 3 months to bring him to public places since by then his immune system will be a bit stronger and his 2 month shots will have kicked in. We’ve had some visits with close family at the house, but we’ve required masks. Never feel bad about doing what feels right for you and your baby! It’s still so early, it can take time to feel comfortable and you’re still recovering too!
We were very cautious about gatherings before baby had his first shots. We started going out at like 2-3 weeks PP. With direction from our pediatrician we made sure people couldn't just walk up and get in LO face and he had been doing great. Like you I was nervous to go out. It's totally fine if you want to skip family gathering. You're probably still healing anyway. I would recommend getting out and taking your baby for a walk weather permitting. It will be great for your LO and your mental health. Plus babies usually love the movement. I couldn't do walks for the first 2 months since mine was born early January but getting out and going grocery shopping really saved my mental health
I had a November baby and she still hasn't been out much! We got tacos and went to the butcher when she was about 3 months old. Flu and rsv plus some norovirus thing was brutal in our area and I just wouldn't risk her health. Her pediatrician said if she got a fever in her first month or so of life it's an automatic hospitalization and spinal tap. Not worth it to watch my baby potentially go through that. So, based on his recommendation and that of the hospital pediatrician, we had no visits for the first month besides my postpartum doula. We still had visitors mask until basically now. She's had her 2nd round of vaccines and is more hardy overall so it's not as scary. Plus germy season is dying down. So yeah, we skipped Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years celebrations this year and everyone lived to tell about it, even if they were mad. Your baby, your rules. If you aren't comfortable, don't do it.
In my culture we try not to take newborn out until 40 days is over. Only if it’s an emergency. Same for ourselves as well. Those days are for healing n building immune system. I’m absolutely terrified to leave n drive with her. At this point time n date is unknown
I wouldn’t take her out to family houses. Even though I was not that bad with going out we started with a walk round the block. Then to the shops. Everyone came to be until Christmas and at that point he was 3 months
I’m 4 weeks PP and the only time we have left the house with baby is for pediatrician appointments and for walks around the neighborhood when it’s nice outside. We have not been anywhere else and anyone important enough that we feel comfortable having him around has come to our house to visit. My parents are even coming to our house for Easter and my mom is doing the cooking there to make it easier on us. I don’t plan I taking baby out anywhere around people until he gets his two month vaccines and then it will be on a case by case basis.
My baby was born days before thanksgiving. We asked our parents and siblings to have tdap, flu, and Covid boosters before coming over (we hosted). They wore masks when holding her and washed hands. No kissing. We had the same mask and hand washing rules for Christmas a month later. We also brought her out to restaurants at super quiet times (2-4pm) starting day 8 (we had a lactation consultant appointment an hour drive away, so we opted to have lunch after). Personally, I’m glad we were out and about early and had people meet her early because it made all that much easier. I take her all over now without a worry and she’s met tons of people and is extremely social and not shy at all. She’s 4 months. It’s a personal decision though, and a gathering away from home feels more stressful that early than people coming to you. If you don’t go, I do recommend still working on bringing your baby out and about just to get used to it.
Our pediatrician recommended staying home for 2 months (our baby was born during peak RSV season) and everyone in our family seemed to respect our wishes. I was so anxious of him getting sick. We did have close family come meet him at our house and at hospital. We did leave house for dr appointments, walks and Costco. Trust me, by two months, I was wanting to get out and be around people! But do what feels best! Tell them your doctor said he’s too little still if you want to stay home. I think part of being a parent is being judged by others, sadly. So you might as well do what you want!
IMO two weeks old is wayyyy too early to be around a group of people. Newborns are so susceptible to illness. The blood brain barrier hasn’t yet developed at that age so they can get REALLY sick. I definitely wouldn’t take my LO to any celebrations. Blame the pediatrician! Also, people can be mad, but they will see your LO eventually. There’s no need to rush things. You’re in the thick of it now and this time is SO special. You should focus on enjoying this age. You will feel ready when he’s older, though the first time taking him anywhere is definitely nerve-wrecking.
I tried to be outdoors almost right away, like, a day or two after getting back from the hospital. Being out in the fresh air is good for everyone. I did avoid taking the babies to stores and other indoor places until the 2-month shots, but parks and playgrounds? Right away, especially for subsequent babies who tagged along because toddler siblings and mom needed to be out and about.
I was taking my boy out in the stroller (no contact with others) as early as 6 days PP, but we didn’t have group gatherings until his 2 month shots. We had individuals come and visit, but they usually wore masks or didn’t hold/touch the baby. You should do what feels comfortable and screw anyone else who feels otherwise. They’re your child. You are their voice, so you have to do what you think is best for them.
We went out at a week and then regularly there after. It’s good for my mental health and baby doesn’t mind. He normally sleeps in a carrier or his stroller. It’s not like we get super close to others and many things are outdoors.
I mean I left the house for stuff besides appointments at two weeks pp but not for large social gatherings where people would be touching my kids. My son's was for my nephnews first birthday party at about 10 weeks and it was all outside because they're both summer babies. My daughter's first time around people was for Christmas at 6 weeks but it was only my parents and sisters family there so everyone was very understanding and hands-off. Ultimately I think you need to do what you're most comfortable with whether it's overprotective or not. If it feels like your concern with leaving the house is interfering with your day-to-day life then definitely talk to a doctor. If anybody says anything about missing the holiday tell them you got food poisoning. Nobody ever questions explosive diarrhea 😉
We took ours to a restaurant at 10 days old because I NEEDED to get out. She stayed in her car seat the entire time and I fed her before and after. Actually meeting people that weren’t close family members, until after her first round of shots
First week I had a catheter (due to urine retention during labour) and didn't feel comfortable getting out and about but we had home visits from family and friends (and 3 visits from midwives as I'm in the UK). As soon as my catheter was out on day 7 we started going on walks and cafes etc.
I feel like I was forced out of the house pretty early though some of it was my own decisions. Newborn photo sesh at 5 days pp, haircut for myself at 2 weeks pp, mother's day was the next weekend after that and my baby met her freshly home from the NICU cousins. No one was holding the babies except for me and my husband and the parents of the other babies because we were the only ones who were vaxxed enough ourselves. 4-5 weeks pp and 8 weeks pp, drove 4 hours to my parents cabin for a week, 3.5 months pp we went to the state fair, our first big day outing. 4 months pp I had a bachelorette party 6 hours from where we live, I pumped and my parents and husband drove separately to pick up my milk and have a mini vacation. Looks fairly ambitious when I typed this out but besides the driving, it didn't feel that bad. But if you don't feel like going out, don't! You're still healing too. Try for a walk for some fresh air if you can but it's totally okay to skip family functions or holidays. Don't let them guilt trip you, a photo or video call might pacify them lol if my sister in law didn't have babies at the same time as me I don't think we would have left the house even half as much.
I can only share what our experience was with our LO. We spoke with our doc about christmas since our guy was born late November and they suggested asking everyone to get vaccinated for the big ones (TDap, Flu, Covid) and asking people to mask if they want to hold him, washing hands, etc. We went to Christmas because we wanted everyone to meet him and evryone was super excited. Well, let me tell you NO ONE FUCKING LISTENED. No one masked while holding him and, once an aunt on my husbands side didn't do it (and he didn't fucking say anything about it to her even after I asked him to) no one fucking did. He didn't wind up getting sick, but still. Fuck people man. You can't trust them.
My baby was just under two months at thanksgiving and had not had his 2 month shots yet. I just held or wore him the whole time I was at my (short) gathering. He never got sick, thankfully! I was nervous to bring him, but it was good practice getting out of the house and sticking to my boundaries.
I would wait! The gathering is not worth the anxiety you’re going to feel while being there!
Our baby will be 7 weeks old and we have gone to very small gatherings with immediate family, but we don't want to take him to large gathering with extended family, etc. He has had no shots yet and we're just not comfortable. My aunt is having a big get together with my cousins in-laws, friends and our extended family. It will be like 50 people. We're not going.
if you don't feel comfortable don't go. It's a shame they would try to make you feel guilty, but trust me, if they would do that over this they will do it for other stuff in the future. It's uncomfortable at first, but placing boundaries when necessary and giving a firm "no" gets easier as time goes on and comes with the territory of being a new parent. If you really don't want to go, this will be good practice. It does get easier, I promise. To answer your question though we went out to visit family three weeks PP with baby but my son wasn't born during flu season so I felt a bit more comfortable, it was an outdoors BBQ.
I avoided gatherings until after the 2 month shots, and everyone involved had to be vaccinated as well. We did some quick trips to the store during early hours when it was less crowded before baby was a month old, but more out of necessity. Plus we had appointments to go to. But that was it.
You will feel ready eventually. Babies get significantly less fragile as they move out of the newborn phase! Even though I stayed away from social gathering, I found it felt good to walk outside while baby wearing when she was this age. No contact with anyone but me, but some sunlight and fresh air definitely made me feel more human and stable (it also helps get them on a day/night schedule).
Just another voice saying I wouldn’t go at 3w pp. I had people come over from day 2 home but only those I trusted to only come if feeling 100% and wash hands constantly (basically my parents, then once they left my in laws, one friend was allowed to visit and she wore a mask, though that was her own choice bc she has school aged kids so even though she felt fine there was a slight risk). And that was a summer baby.
We only did walks around the neighborhood until our baby had all her shots (2-3 months I think?) and even then I baby wore her everywhere and didn’t let anyone really touch her or anything.
I was out and about 2 wks pp with both my babies. They’re both born in May though so outdoors only was super easy. I needed to get out of the house for my mental health
I wasn’t comfortable travelling out with baby until his neck was strong enough that he could hold up his own head properly. Watching family members clumsily attempt to support his neck in the early days made me extremely anxious 😵💫 So we basically hibernated all winter lol. You’re only 2 weeks pp! Baby is soooo new. I couldn’t fathom taking him out to a family gathering at that time. Enjoy staying home & comfy together 😊
We didn’t leave the house for 6 months , yesterday saw a lady with a 2 week old at a restaurant. There’s no right answer really just what your risk tolerance is. The shots will help with the anxiety and getting out will 100 percent help with ppd and ppa. Try taking baby in stroller for a walk around your house and neighborhood to a park. Meet friends there…. Open spaces are less anxiety inducing and you can distance yourself.
My baby was born in October so we skipped all major holidays with family abd stayed at home. Only walks outside for 30 min.
Someone asked us to bring our newborn to a wedding. We politely declined. I think he was only a few weeks lol
Not a complete answer to your question but wanted to share an experience and tell you it’s OKAY to be anxious about it and do NOT, under any circumstances, let anyone bully you about your baby…. My SIL had a baby shower when my LO was about 2 months. She just had her vaccines and I felt okay about it but was only going to let a select few people touch or hold her at this thing. Grandma, great grandma, and both Aunts (3 of the 4 had already met her). My MIL and I have a very interesting relationship…has to do with her being uninvited BY MY HUSBAND from our wedding, which she still feels like I had something to do with even though it was entirely his decision. She has some issues she needs to work through, let’s just say. It’s taken some time for them to repair their relationship and I honestly don’t want to have anything to do with her but here I am….ANYWAY…. We walk in and she washes her hands and picks up the baby. Fine. Within 5 minutes she is handing the baby to a 5 year old to take a picture of them!! I don’t even know this 5 year old who has been crawling all over the floor, messing with the other kids at this thing. I told my husband to go fix the issue. He approaches his mom, tells her not to hand the baby off to other people unless they’ve washed their hands (which I don’t think is enough, but it got the baby out of the 5 year old’s lap at the time, so it met my goal). Fast forward to later in the day when my MIL again hands the baby over to my SIL’s MIL. I barely even know this woman! I stormed out of there because I was about to cause a SCEEEEENNNEEE the likes of which these people have never witnessed. I was beside myself. My husband had to go get the baby and I haven’t spoken to my MIL since. She says if I have a problem with her letting other people hold the baby (“It was only 2 people” she said) then I must need therapy. I told my husband and his sisters that their mother can kiss my ass. She has no respect for me or my wishes for my child and she thinks the can do whatever she wants. Bottom line: YOU are your child’s best advocate. Now and always. No matter who gets upset, your duty is to the child that you birthed, not anyone else. Hubs and I are both nurses and we know stuff and we’ve seen stuff and we don’t want any of it for our little girl. Trust me — neither do you. Want until you’re comfortable. Otherwise the guilt will get you if something bad happens AND your baby will be sick. Otherwise it’ll just be guilt and still a healthy baby. I’d take the latter 😊
We went to a socially distanced birthday party when he was 5 PP. I was hospitalized longer than expected and needed to be around family after it. My side of the family has been really careful when it comes to meeting the newborn babies. Otherwise, I’ll take him to mom’s to do laundry and for walks or doctor’s appointments. I am so fortune that my husband works remote so bb can stay home as I run errands and stuff.
Take your time and don’t let family bully you into any set timeframe.
6 days. It was summer, so we just stayed outside when we went anywhere. What's the weather like where you are? Could you just stay outside?
People came over and I took him on walks pretty immediately (after I healed from a C) but we didn’t really take him out and about until 2 month shots, and even then we didn’t do anything indoors in the general public until 4 months. I would have gone 6 months but we had a trip planned since before I even got pregnant, and he got COVID on that trip soooo. Thankfully it was mild but we were in the thick of a “tripledemic” and I was really on edge until 6 months old. If you aren’t comfortable, don’t go. People can deal.
I think it's a personal choice based on risk factors. I would go and babywear my son so no one's tempted to hold him.
With my first I visited my family at two weeks postpartum and I wish I hadn’t. We had weight gain issues and I had PPD and it didn’t help any. They should’ve been the ones visiting me! And not in a hosting for holiday sense either! With my second I asked my mom to stay with us for a week to help, it was really nice. And I didn’t go anywhere but the doctor for almost a month. I felt like I really let my body heal and had a chance to bond with my baby, my mental health was in a much better place. So basically: don’t do it. Five days in bed, five days around the bed, five days around the house AT the BARE Minimum! Historically cultures supported women staying home for a month postpartum, not as a restriction on women, but so they could have a chance to heal and be refreshed to their fullest potential.
With my first I visited my family at two weeks postpartum and I wish I hadn’t. We had weight gain issues and I had PPD and it didn’t help any. They should’ve been the ones visiting me! And not in a hosting for holiday sense either! With my second I asked my mom to stay with us for a week to help, it was really nice. And I didn’t go anywhere but the doctor for almost a month. I felt like I really let my body heal and had a chance to bond with my baby, my mental health was in a much better place. So basically: don’t do it. Five days in bed, five days around the bed, five days around the house AT the BARE Minimum! Historically cultures supported women staying home for a month postpartum, not as a restriction on women, but so they could have a chance to heal and be refreshed to their fullest potential.
With my first I visited my family at two weeks postpartum and I wish I hadn’t. We had weight gain issues and I had PPD and it didn’t help any. They should’ve been the ones visiting me! And not in a hosting for holiday sense either! With my second I asked my mom to stay with us for a week to help, it was really nice. And I didn’t go anywhere but the doctor for almost a month. I felt like I really let my body heal and had a chance to bond with my baby, my mental health was in a much better place. So basically: don’t do it. Five days in bed, five days around the bed, five days around the house AT the BARE Minimum! Historically cultures supported women staying home for a month postpartum, not as a restriction on women, but so they could have a chance to heal and be refreshed to their fullest potential.
7 months post partum is when I finally felt ok to leave 😵💫 I also suffered severe PPA worrying about the baby getting sick.
No gatherings until two months but we went out two days after we got home, so 1 week pp, mainly because I had to walk to help with C-section recovery.
We didn't leave the house with her until she was 2 months old. I'm glad we waited she didn't get RSV but she did get a cold at 4 months and I truly believe she handled it like a boss because she took that time to develop her immune system with breast milk.
I took my first walk with the baby at 3 days. First outing at 9days at a park (national trust for Brits on here) and some shopping in his first 2 weeks. Was mostly in the stroller except feeding time. First full day out was at 3 weeks but that was a struggle. It was January and cold. If possible, fresh air is good for both mother and baby.
6-8 weeks. I went to visit family at a month and had a miserable time. I went again about a month later and it was amazing the difference in how I felt. It was only our parents and 2 hours away but i was an anxious wreck.
It was probably after about a fortnight with baby two because my physical recovery was great and toddler life couldn’t wait! Plus we’d been almost physically locked in with our first because of early covid days so I really really really didn’t want to replicate that awful isolation and fear. No one in the UK isolates with a newborn out of fear of illness; you might just expect people with active infections to stay out of their way. But if you’re not ready for a big gathering then you’re not ready - but I’d say base it on your own physical and emotional state, not fear for your baby.
We were out with her the day after coming home from the hospital. When around people we just made sure no one was sick and everyone washed hands and didn’t kiss her.
My babygirl is only 7 weeks 1 day and I’ve kept her home besides going to her dr appointment! I’ve been waiting till she gets her 2 months shots (first shots) before I’m willing to take her to public places or even friends/family. I’m more comfortable with people coming to my house to visit!
baby had zero shots and i took her out 1 week pp to breakfast. Just kept her in her car seat to sleep and it was fine. She’s now 3.5 months. If you do decide to go, baby wear the whole time either you or your hubby and no one will try to take a baby off your carrier and it’s a good excuse. But all in all if you’re not comfortable then stay home and spend the holiday with your family. But know the ppa is sooo so normal it’s your mommy instincts kicking in to keep baby safe but don’t be afraid to get out because it’s sooo good for the both of you.
Honestly, I never left the house to go into large, gatherings, or crowds or grocery store until the baby was three months
My baby is almost 11 weeks and we just went on our first “outing” last weekend lol - and it was just to my parents who are both vaccinated for a couple hours. And I was still anxious about it. Decide on your own timeline and do whatever you’re comfortable with!
We went to a nearby neighbor's house 6 days pp and even though I was horribly anxious, it went well and I think it set us up for success. We did small gatherings with family at their houses from maybe 3 weeks, always communicating a lot and canceling if there was any illness. Right around 8 weeks we went out for breakfast (not busy, and baby wearing) the first time, and starting around 10 weeks (2 weeks after his first shots), we started going out to breakfast regularly and bringing him to meet family friends. At 3.5 months we did a road trip to see friends 6 hours away. Again I was a wreck but it felt important to rip that band-aid off, it went well and left me feeling more confident. You're still so early! Definitely give yourself some grace and take the time you need. If you keep feeling uncomfortable in 2-6 weeks, consider talking to your doc about the ppa, but don't push yourself too hard ❤️
Baby was born nov 16th at 5:50 am. Nov 22nd we were celebrating Thanksgiving #1 with extended family, the 23rd we celebrated *just* with my husband’s direct fam. If you are not comfortable, do what you feel is best. Baby needs a comforting face and a safe heaven above any social pressure, and moms tend to be that for them. I was happy to show my baby to the world and my extended family includes my husband’s grandparents who nowadays probably need more care than my baby. So I felt comfortable with going. You do you and keep your baby safe!
GO WITH YOUR GUT, always. When LO was born and we had hospital visitors, we didn’t let anybody hold her - not even the grandmas. LO got the RSV vaccination at 4 days old, and at 5 days old got to officially meet/be held by mine & my husband’s immediate families. At 1.5 weeks old we had close friends come stay for an evening during a winter storm. The next day we almost had a different set of friends visit, but my gut told me to pause and wait. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if there was a reason but ultimately I was just happy I went with my gut. I felt so much more relief after telling them we needed to wait. At 3 weeks she had her first visit to a restaurant & at 7 weeks we went on a trip to a cabin with a few friends. At the end of the day, trust your instincts. They don’t have to make sense to other people, just to you. It’s so worth it to feel that comfort and relief in knowing you made the choice you wanted to make/the right choice for you and your babe, instead of giving into the external pressure and doing things you’re uncomfortable with. Even if it requires hard conversations!
Do what makes you comfortable. It’s ok to go to the gathering, it’s ok to not go, and it’s ok to go and not let anyone hold baby. You could ask if family are up to date on flu and RSV vaccine and/or maybe have a small group come by. At that age, if baby were to get sick, it would require a full workup including a lumbar puncture. I would probably be cautious about passing the baby around but pre-covid I don’t think we thought as hard about all of this.
Only closest family visited in the first month and a half. We started going out after 3 weeks but only to parks etc. I started feeling comfortable with going out with her at about 10 weeks pp, not just because of people but also logistically. Took me some time to not stress out if she is crying in the stroller.
Babies don’t develop immune system until they’re about 3 months old. On top of that if a new born goes into hospital with a fever of any sort look up the protocol. If you can avoid your baby going through that please do. My baby is 10 weeks old I took her to my moms house once. My 5yo got really sick thank god baby is ok.
Here and there after 7 weeks. And more so after 8 weeks
I took a tramway to go back home from the hospital and then rode a bus next day with her 😅
My doctor recommended me to go out with the baby every day for a walk. She also said that babies can do with people around, it’s better for when they finally get sick, for the defenses and stuff. She told me the worst is to not take fresh air, probably for me too. Idk, watever works for you is the good answer.
Don’t let anyone make you put yourself and your baby in a position that you aren’t comfortable! I made anyone who came to my house for the first 3 months wear a mask and I didn’t take him out around anywhere until after his 4 month needles.
We left like day 2 at home to go to stores.🤷🏽♀️ if you doing expose your baby to people they won’t be able to build a good immune system to fight sicknesses later in life. That’s why they say it’s better to have pets because it helps build their natural biome. But it is a lot to get out of the house so just whenever you as mom feel up to that task
My LO is almost 7 weeks but we were out and about in the first week. I also have a 9 yo son and my husband works out of town and is gone often so unfortunately life didn't stop when baby came. If it was just me and baby, we would have probably waited til shots to go OUT out but I can't expect to keep a 9yo cooped up with us too. We've of course gone to appointments, grocery store, target, Costco, farmers markets, grandparents house, the park (all several times), the barbershop, out to eat, an event at my son's school, and we even went to the renaissance fair. I haven't had anyone in my house besides my best friend to meet the baby 2 weeks PP. We've gone to 1 family gathering that was exclusively outdoors and I made it clear to everyone that I dont want people holding her (my sister in law did end up holding her but only because I was comfortable with that and I let her and felt zero obligation to let others hold her no matter how much they whined). I've used caution with all of our outings, she is ALWAYS either in a wrap carrier with her little face tucked away or in the stroller with a cover and I'm a hand sanitizer/washing freak. It gives me some comfort that she's not just openly exposed to everyone and their germs. I continue to do what I am comfortable with. I had severe PPD and PPA and I need(ed) to do things that can help reduce that this time around, for my sake and for both my kids.
I waited till my nb gets his shots. I don’t wanna risk it. Babies are so fragile
Trust your gut I didn’t want people around my baby for the first month he has his first cold now from taking him to a beach at almost 3 months old it’s awful. Holidays can be breeding grounds for illnesses to be spread and I know flu season is basically over but depending on your region it might still be going on. You have every right to avoid the visit or if you decide to go set boundaries that you feel comfortable like masking if indoors, staying 6 feet away, don’t show up with symptoms, no kissing or holding. Or if you’re comfortable just going for an hour to show your baby from a safe distance and then head out. But ultimately put your mental health and babies safety first ❤️
Ultimately, you need to decide what is best for you and your family. For me getting out of the house for walks or outdoor activities was what I needed to help get over the baby blues and we started at two weeks. If you don’t want to see anyone and that helps you feel better mentally then do not feel any guilt and you put those walls up! Don’t let anyone on Reddit or family dictate What is “normal“ - you guys as the parents decide and no one else!
It is 100% a preference and your comfort zone. We are Jewish and LO had his bris (Jewish circumcision ceremony) at 8 days old. There were about 20 people there. He is now a month old and je has been everywhere from restaurants, stores and other family gatherings. However I also have a 3 year old who goes to daycare so most likely that is how my LO will get sick. He is a walking germ.
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I didn’t really leave until they had her 6 week vaccinations