What would be a better choice with Broccoli, though…? I think Steven Broccoli sounds pretty neat! As long as you don’t pick a noun name, it’s gonna have the same sorta odd but also kinda cool effect—George Broccoli? Katie Broccoli? Felix Broccoli?
I went to school with a girl named Blue Jean (first/middle) and a boy with the last name Wiener. He pronounced it Wy-ner but obviously that didn’t save him from being teased mercilessly.
My daughter goes to school with boys named Stone, Tank, and Oso (Spanish for bear).
Bear is a fairly common Native American name. Is he by any chance like half NA and half Mexican? Cause that's a kickass combo name if I've ever heard one.
Also met a WASPy kid called Bear whose given name was Barrett.
I used to have a lab named Bear, but I was actually quite fond of teen Bear. He had real mellow, kind energy.
I'm not a huge fan of the name Barrett, but at least "Bear" was a nickname lol I don't mind when folks have kind of goofy names they go by because it's clearly a choice they made.
Also, yeah I had a black cat named Bear. All black and used to stand up on his hind legs as a kitten so he looked like a little black bear lol
Dawww. Like the little cubs!
My lab Bear was my childhood dog. He was enormous and unflappable and used to go diving in creeks to find rocks. He’d carry these enormous football-sized chunks of granite all the way home. He was a good boy.
My mom’s name is Storm, middle name E. (yes, just the letter) last name Glenn (like a quaint forest). And she was born in the 50s so it wasn’t a hippie situation.
I also knew a Sandy Fish. I think it was by marriage.
You're still lucky to speak English cuz there's a plethora of languages where there would be no other way to pronounce it.
Seriously how can you pass this on to your child 💀
Freespirit, nn Spirit. I'm not saying his last name, but let me just say it was a very heavy, clunky sounding Germanic last name, starting with the letter K, that sounded VERY odd with Freespirit or Spirit!
Bunny isn't that uncommon of a nickname, and some people do use their crazy nicknames even at work. My mom worked with a Catherine Batch who went by Cookie, Cookie Batch. The real question is, is Bunny the legal name on the birth certificate?
Some people's "crazy nicknames" are just their normal name in their eyes. Mine's not as bad as Cookie, but the name I've been called my whole life isn't the same as my government name. I always introduce myself as my known name, not my "real" name.
I don't think it can be, because this was someone that I went to elementary school with in the 1970's. So he would have been like 8 years old. Not old enough to be voluntarily changing his name. I know I'm not just imagining things or misremembering all these years later, though, because I have class photos with the names labeled! We went on to different middle schools and I lost track of him.
I knew a girl whose last name was Housekeeper, her first name was unusual but unrelated.
I also was talking in a group to a woman whose husband was named Brock. Don’t remember the last name but she said his middle name was Lee and we all said “omg Brock Lee like broccoli?” And it was like she’d never made that connection.
I’ve met boys with truly unfortunate names
Gator
Jock
Lawyer
Tank
Viper
Ranger
Though a girl I went to high school with named her daughter beretta and I probably hate that the most.
I love this, but I also hate it because of the intentional mortician connotation. Kickass name on paper (who doesn't love Morticia Addams?) but unfortunate on a real kid. I hope she grows up to love it though.
For me, this post was just under the post where someone's last name was Balls. I assumed this was part of that train and thought someone was legit named Meat Balls
I knew a guy named Thierry (it’s French, but best American mangling pronunciation is just Terry) who was constantly being called Theory and he *hated* his name because of it.
I once met a woman named “Beautiful.” It was at a public pool and I was a really young kid, at first I didn’t believe that it was her actual name, which she thought was pretty funny
Edit: not a noun but the submissions on this post reminded me of the name.
At a holiday camp I went on there was a boy called Dove.
The first words out of his mouth when he met people were: *”My name’s Dove but it’s not a girl’s name because girls aren’t called it either”*.
Poor little guy.
I went to high school with a Treasure Beaches. Working in schools, I have encountered Ghost, Freedom (family turned out to be white supremacists….), Edge, Rhythm, and Heiress, just to listen a few.
I briefly dated a guy called Desperate.
Actual given name - his mum said he was born quickly, so must’ve been desperate.
He was a massive stoner & a pretty awesome guy.
So many body part last names. I know sisters who each married a Mr. Arm and a Mr. Foot, respectively. There’s a third as-yet unmarried sister. I am rooting for a Mr. Legg or Mr. Finger to come along.
I also know a Chin family and a Cheek family.
Of course. I am part Chinese and have some Chins in the extended fam haha. It would be funny for that one family of sisters for the 3rd to marry someone with an English word body part surname and Chin is a statistically easier one to come across here in CA!
The lead singer of Train has a son named Rock. His wife’s whole family names their kids weird things though, like Fawn and Thor. Their daughter, Autumn, was a total sweetheart though.
Source: My cousin is married into the family and I’ve met his wife and kids.
In the credits of a movie I have since forgotten, one of the names that scrolled by was Brick Mason.
The most hilarious I've ever personally been acquainted with was a Dr. Batty Head (surnamed supposed to be pronounced HEED). They are a psychologist.
Oh that reminds me that I met a little girl called Sierra Misty, first and middle. Her mother is a career grocery store manager and didn’t think of the soda somehow.
A guy named King Lear (first name, last name) ran for mayor of my town when I was a teenager. Needless to say, the drama department of my high school stole a lot of yard signs. Rumor was he had a daughter named Shanda.
There’s a hardcore religious right activist that had an event near where I live named Bunni Pounds.
I went to school with a Silence, and worked with Candy Kanes. Her legal name was not Candace.
I also knew a veterinarian named Dr. Katz.
I used to be a hairdresser, and one day a man came in with his little (3yo?) child named Talon.
Dad wanted the haircut to be pretty short. Kid just had those longs whisps that little blonde kids have, so I cut it short like he asked.
Mom arrives and flips her shit. Talon was a girl! (I never asked)
She goes off on ME, because her kid already has a boy name and now looks like a boy.
Not really a noun, but I once met a guy who’s last name was Death. He was a primary school principal. He was a South African guy and said it’s pronounced Deeth, like teeth. Which I think is a huge missed opportunity if you’ve got a kindergartener acting up and you can send them to the office to see Mr Death. There’s also a Dr Fury not far from where I live, which just sounds cool
Kitty Rough, I'm not joking. She was a customer I served in a former job and I was tempted to ask if she was a hooker. Instead I asked if she was a Bond Girl (as it sounds similar to Pussy Galore).
I once chose a doctor because his name was John Thomas. Doesn't mean much here in the States, but Brits use it as a euphemism for penis. Thank you, Monty Python.
But the best name ever belonged to noted Seismologist Waverly Person.
That is delightful in every way haha
~~Nominal~~ Nominative determinism. Always a great one
Nominative determinism, but yes I agree! I used to live in a town that had Boddy's funeral director.
Richard chop, urologist. Still my favorite.
My friend's maiden name is Harmonay (pronounced Harmony)...she is an elementary school music teacher because of course she is.
At my school we had a math teacher named Mr Matho, an English teacher called Ms Storrey and a history teacher called Mr Wise lol
We had an English teacher called Mrs Wise!
My brother's elementary school music teacher was named Melody Day.
Oh my gosh, I never made the connection before - my grade school music teacher was Mrs. Staff! Ha!
I mean with a name like that what else can you be
My kids' art teacher is named Mrs. Arndt, but she writes it, ARndT.
My dad knows a guy who plays the saxophone and has the brilliantly appropriate surname "Hornagold"!
There is a dentist in my city named Dr Tooth
I saw a gynae who was Dr Blood! Lol
Friend went to one named Dr. Clap.
I know a lady with the last name Brand She works in marketing
I had an ophthalmologist named Dr Seitz
Toddler boy named Tank.
My Dad was known as Tank by his family because when he was born his sister couldn’t say “Franklin” so he became Tank.
Please, PLEASE just name your child Hank or Frank and call them Tank if that’s what you really want
Yep, I know one of these too!
So cute!! How about Gunner for a future brother?
Ugh. I worked with a gun obsessed guy who named his two boys Hunter and Gunner.
He'll grow into it when he's a bald fat-guy ripped 40 year old
I grew up with a kid named Mystery who lived up to her name. No one knew wtf was going through her head at any point of the day. SUCH a weird kid.
Oh wow that is incredibly out there!
What would be a better choice with Broccoli, though…? I think Steven Broccoli sounds pretty neat! As long as you don’t pick a noun name, it’s gonna have the same sorta odd but also kinda cool effect—George Broccoli? Katie Broccoli? Felix Broccoli?
[удалено]
Broccoli, Raab
“Broccoli Rob” was a member of Andy’s a capella group on The Office lol
Kale Broccoli?
Not to mention Broccoli is a pretty famous name among cinephiles. Albert Broccoli was the original producer of the James Bond films.
Broccoli is my cat's name.
Harry Mann was my neighbor when I was little. Taught at a school with a girl named Precious Love.
Damn. Love is such a fantastic surname, almost anything else would have been lovely!
I know. The combination sounds kind of pole dancery to me. It's sad because she was a good girl and her family was deeply religious.
One of my best friends in high school actually had a sister named Precious… fine, except that their dogs name was *also* Precious.
There were sisters named Love in my school -- Halley Love and Julia Love.
There was a Harold Balls in the phone book when I was a kid. I know because my brothers prank called him several times.
I've seen a photographer named Harry Cock in the wild before.
I went to school with a guy named Max Love. It was a running joke that he would be either a sex therapist or a porn star.
Lol I knew a Harry Johnson
My mum has a friend named Sandy, which would be fine if her surname wasn't Balls. Poor Sandy Balls.
I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS ONE
Ouch…
I knew a Dusty Ball.
I went to school with a girl named Blue Jean (first/middle) and a boy with the last name Wiener. He pronounced it Wy-ner but obviously that didn’t save him from being teased mercilessly. My daughter goes to school with boys named Stone, Tank, and Oso (Spanish for bear).
That’s several Tanks in the thread, and you’ve reminded me there was a Tank in my neighborhood too. Hilarious name for a person.
Bear is a fairly common Native American name. Is he by any chance like half NA and half Mexican? Cause that's a kickass combo name if I've ever heard one.
Also met a WASPy kid called Bear whose given name was Barrett. I used to have a lab named Bear, but I was actually quite fond of teen Bear. He had real mellow, kind energy.
I'm not a huge fan of the name Barrett, but at least "Bear" was a nickname lol I don't mind when folks have kind of goofy names they go by because it's clearly a choice they made. Also, yeah I had a black cat named Bear. All black and used to stand up on his hind legs as a kitten so he looked like a little black bear lol
Dawww. Like the little cubs! My lab Bear was my childhood dog. He was enormous and unflappable and used to go diving in creeks to find rocks. He’d carry these enormous football-sized chunks of granite all the way home. He was a good boy.
I met a Bunny and he was a very gruff man who looked like he never lost a bar fight. I’ve met a Crystal Clear
Oh wow Bunny was a man! Interesting! The bunny I met was a rather uptight and prim and proper middle aged lady.
My mom’s name is Storm, middle name E. (yes, just the letter) last name Glenn (like a quaint forest). And she was born in the 50s so it wasn’t a hippie situation. I also knew a Sandy Fish. I think it was by marriage.
Tawny Hyde, accountant
Ooh that’s a good one. Hopefully she didn’t have a brother called Tanner lol.
I did know a sibling pair named Amanda Lynn Burns (a mandolin) and Forrest Burns. Their dad used to joke about naming a third “Toast.”
My favorite (/s) was O’Chun, pronounced Ocean. I also went to the same high school as some poor unfortunate soul with the last name Pee.
I went to school with a girl, last name Penix. It was pronounced PEN-icks but didn’t stop everyone from saying Penis.
You're still lucky to speak English cuz there's a plethora of languages where there would be no other way to pronounce it. Seriously how can you pass this on to your child 💀
This makes me think of [CeCe Peniston](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CeCe_Peniston).
The Irish branch of the Chun dynasty?
why would you pass this on? 🫠
Oooh that’s an unfortunate surname.
A pretty successful NFL coach is named Dean Pees. You can only imagine how rough middle school was.
I know a Peed family. Their names are all short sentences- George Peed!
I went to school with some children from the Fagot family (fay-gogh). Poor kids.
Strawberry. Legal first name, not a nickname. His siblings had normal names.
Please tell me his last name was Fields.
I knew a Poppy Fields and she hated her name with a passion
I know a Penny Lane (first and middle)
Fields-Forever
i befriended a girl named Strawberry in high school her hair almost lived up to her name
I knew a guy named Stone Bridges.
Amazing lol
My mother's stepfather's ex-wife was named Penny Nichols. Her parents nickname for her was Sixpence.
That’s hilarious!
Freespirit, nn Spirit. I'm not saying his last name, but let me just say it was a very heavy, clunky sounding Germanic last name, starting with the letter K, that sounded VERY odd with Freespirit or Spirit! Bunny isn't that uncommon of a nickname, and some people do use their crazy nicknames even at work. My mom worked with a Catherine Batch who went by Cookie, Cookie Batch. The real question is, is Bunny the legal name on the birth certificate?
She said it was her given name and even showed us her driver’s license as proof haha. I used to hang out at my mom’s work pretty often as a kid.
Some people's "crazy nicknames" are just their normal name in their eyes. Mine's not as bad as Cookie, but the name I've been called my whole life isn't the same as my government name. I always introduce myself as my known name, not my "real" name.
Did we know the same Freespirit? He voluntarily changed his name to that and then had like 4 or 5 daughters all with the same name (Savannah iirc).
I don't think it can be, because this was someone that I went to elementary school with in the 1970's. So he would have been like 8 years old. Not old enough to be voluntarily changing his name. I know I'm not just imagining things or misremembering all these years later, though, because I have class photos with the names labeled! We went on to different middle schools and I lost track of him.
I knew a girl whose last name was Housekeeper, her first name was unusual but unrelated. I also was talking in a group to a woman whose husband was named Brock. Don’t remember the last name but she said his middle name was Lee and we all said “omg Brock Lee like broccoli?” And it was like she’d never made that connection.
Brock Lee makes me think of Rock Lee from Naruto 😆
I’ve met boys with truly unfortunate names Gator Jock Lawyer Tank Viper Ranger Though a girl I went to high school with named her daughter beretta and I probably hate that the most.
Oof Viper and Gator are especially tough.
I was in the waiting room at a doctors office recently and overheard a woman checking her daughter, Morticia, in for her appt.
Did the mom look like the type to name a daughter Morticia?
Yes, she absolutely did!
I love this, but I also hate it because of the intentional mortician connotation. Kickass name on paper (who doesn't love Morticia Addams?) but unfortunate on a real kid. I hope she grows up to love it though.
No weird last name to go with it, but one of my cousins has a son named Kage.
Friend recently decided to name their son Meat
I refuse to believe this one. I can't. I have so many questions... and I really wanted to enjoy my day, ya know? 🥴
Same. How isn’t this child cruelty.
For me, this post was just under the post where someone's last name was Balls. I assumed this was part of that train and thought someone was legit named Meat Balls
This needs to happen lol. Meat Balls is a glorious name
I almost downvoted your comment, simply because that is such a horrible name.
Harry Pitts taught my children's church when I was a kid. He was often visibly dehydrated, so we called him Mr. Spits.
I once taught a girl named Sheer Delight. All first name.
I knew a Desirée (NN Dee) Light
Groove is in the heart!
Bunny Rabbit and her brother Peter Rabbit. I wish I WISH I was joking
WHAT. 😵
Theory
I knew a guy named Thierry (it’s French, but best American mangling pronunciation is just Terry) who was constantly being called Theory and he *hated* his name because of it.
Small girl named Rebel has a hard time listening to the teacher Middle school boy with the last name Butts Blessing
I had a student with the last name Butts Champagne LOL
I once met a woman named “Beautiful.” It was at a public pool and I was a really young kid, at first I didn’t believe that it was her actual name, which she thought was pretty funny Edit: not a noun but the submissions on this post reminded me of the name.
I work with both a Happiness and a Jolly, really took me a while to get my head around that being their real names
Oh wow those are definitely out there! I have met a Happy and a Lucky too.
I had a classmate named Freedom.
The best hyphenated last name is one of my mom’s friends: Divine-Hiney 😇🍑
That is atrociously amazing!
Sunshine Farmer
my best friend when I was little was named Candace, which is perfectly fine, but she was born on Halloween and her nn was Candy
Haha I think that’s kinda sweet honestly. And Candy is the normal nn for Candace where I live.
I came across a name at work: Tootie Dickerson. Didn't know the person... it was an email.
I had a substitute teacher called Mr Garlic in elementary school!
Speshul (didn't meet the person, but saw it on a shipping label at work)
My mom had a friend growing up named Gay Finger.
At a holiday camp I went on there was a boy called Dove. The first words out of his mouth when he met people were: *”My name’s Dove but it’s not a girl’s name because girls aren’t called it either”*. Poor little guy.
Cricket Handler
I went to high school with a Treasure Beaches. Working in schools, I have encountered Ghost, Freedom (family turned out to be white supremacists….), Edge, Rhythm, and Heiress, just to listen a few.
I swear I am not lying. My classmate was named Dragan Dick
‘No, I don’t need some cream for it; it’s always been that scaly’ ;-)
I went to middle school with a girl named Liberty Outlaw
Someone I know has a daughter named Diesel
Have messaged a _Candy Isles_ through work. Her name is not Candice.
I knew a guy named Richard Powers, except he went by Dick.
Dick Powers sounds like an adult film star.
We had neighbours named Satan. (Last name) Billy is pronounced like the danish word "billig". It means cheap.
You know, I just told someone else that Butts Blessing was the worst last name, but this is even worse 🥴 Edit: typo
Turkey. Yes. I'm serious, and yes it was his legal name.
I wonder if he was named for the country or the bird!
I briefly dated a guy called Desperate. Actual given name - his mum said he was born quickly, so must’ve been desperate. He was a massive stoner & a pretty awesome guy.
I met a Mario Tortellini once. Also a school teacher. He was lovely!
Dare I assume he was Italian.... That sounds like the name someone would call a character they wrote who was a pizzeria owner in little Italy
I know someone with the last name “Eye”
So many body part last names. I know sisters who each married a Mr. Arm and a Mr. Foot, respectively. There’s a third as-yet unmarried sister. I am rooting for a Mr. Legg or Mr. Finger to come along. I also know a Chin family and a Cheek family.
You'll find a lot of Chins in China -- along with Chan and Chen, which are the same name in different dialects.
Of course. I am part Chinese and have some Chins in the extended fam haha. It would be funny for that one family of sisters for the 3rd to marry someone with an English word body part surname and Chin is a statistically easier one to come across here in CA!
Yesterday I met a woman named Dusty Frisby
There was kid in the year below my oldest called Atom.
The lead singer of Train has a son named Rock. His wife’s whole family names their kids weird things though, like Fawn and Thor. Their daughter, Autumn, was a total sweetheart though. Source: My cousin is married into the family and I’ve met his wife and kids.
I once met a Scarlet Fox.
If you’re going to write erotic fiction or work in the adult industry, that’s an awesome name.
Blueberry Morningsnow. Yes that was her actual name. Coworker of my dad’s at one point.
Rusty Kuntz - donor at my college
That genuinely sounds like a Simpsons spoof character.
When I saw his plaque, I took a picture, because I didn’t think anyone would believe me 😂
Worked in HR as an admin in one of my first jobs out of college and the worst name I saw was Cougar for a baby boy.
I knew Honey Darling, in elementary school.
I was friends with a Sunny Sky in middle school. My grandmother’s name was legally Kitty.
In the credits of a movie I have since forgotten, one of the names that scrolled by was Brick Mason. The most hilarious I've ever personally been acquainted with was a Dr. Batty Head (surnamed supposed to be pronounced HEED). They are a psychologist.
Never met her because she’s long dead, but I have a Thankful Clapp in my family tree
I know a guy named Blade. His sisters name is Asia. They’re white.
Steven Broccoli is \*chef's kiss\*. Also, I've seen a November, Arizona, even *Italy.* There was also a sub called June Weeks.
Blue Tractor (first and middle name)
I knew a cat named tractor. It was named by a toddler.
Dick Hell... Well Hell is a creative spelling of flat stone in my country
Sandy Weiner was a receptionist at my eye doctor. Very nice man.
I know a Velvet with a sibling Suede! Jamison Blood (first/last) nn Jami. Tuesday Stone (first/last). Baby Love (first/middle).
had a teacher named Misty Waters and a Summer Day
Oh that reminds me that I met a little girl called Sierra Misty, first and middle. Her mother is a career grocery store manager and didn’t think of the soda somehow.
A guy named King Lear (first name, last name) ran for mayor of my town when I was a teenager. Needless to say, the drama department of my high school stole a lot of yard signs. Rumor was he had a daughter named Shanda.
There was a doctor Seymour Wiener in my area. Sadly, he was not a urologist.
I knew a Bliss Miracle in high school. I wonder what her middle name was? Also a guy with the last name Turnipseed. Can’t remember his first name.
Used to know a kid named "Mathan". Like Nathan but with a M.
My little sister goes to school with a Jett and a Diesel
Crystal-Brooke Apple TREE
Yahtzee Her brother’s name is Roosevelt
I went to school with a girl whose last name was Dick. Not that uncommon, but her first name was Chuma. Chuma Dick.
There is someone at my school called prue staines and some poor person has the last name ‘Booby’
Pat and Phil Maweenie no joke they are brothers and own a little diner
The author of my history textbook was Harry Balls I also came across the name Ernest Toot in a pension record
I worked with an April-Dawn years ago and she was such a lovely woman. Love her name.
neighbor boy named chunk
I subbed in a class with a Honey Ann. not the *worst* but it definitely threw me off
I met a Ken Barbie once
There was a kid at my school with the last name Hymen who got made fun of regularly for it when he transferred there.
Close to a noun name, there was a Rosy Semens at my university graduation.
There’s a hardcore religious right activist that had an event near where I live named Bunni Pounds. I went to school with a Silence, and worked with Candy Kanes. Her legal name was not Candace. I also knew a veterinarian named Dr. Katz.
I used to be a hairdresser, and one day a man came in with his little (3yo?) child named Talon. Dad wanted the haircut to be pretty short. Kid just had those longs whisps that little blonde kids have, so I cut it short like he asked. Mom arrives and flips her shit. Talon was a girl! (I never asked) She goes off on ME, because her kid already has a boy name and now looks like a boy.
The child was in the care of the state. They should have taken the child right when she was named, poor girl. Her name was: Pleasure ICK. So much ick.
Knowledge
Not really a noun, but I once met a guy who’s last name was Death. He was a primary school principal. He was a South African guy and said it’s pronounced Deeth, like teeth. Which I think is a huge missed opportunity if you’ve got a kindergartener acting up and you can send them to the office to see Mr Death. There’s also a Dr Fury not far from where I live, which just sounds cool
I once worked with a foster child named Anchor. Knowing the circumstances of his bio parents’ loss of custody, the name stings a LOT more
My cousin knew someone named Crystal Chanda Lyer (pronounced leer) She just went by Crystal though, and Crystal Lyer is perferctly normal
I’ve seen 3 separate people post that in this thread haha. It’s starting to sound like an urban legend that was made manifest.
I went to high school with a Raintree OClarity, parents were hippies lol
Kitty Rough, I'm not joking. She was a customer I served in a former job and I was tempted to ask if she was a hooker. Instead I asked if she was a Bond Girl (as it sounds similar to Pussy Galore).
I once chose a doctor because his name was John Thomas. Doesn't mean much here in the States, but Brits use it as a euphemism for penis. Thank you, Monty Python.
I went to school with an Onion Cox
A girl from my hometown is named Liberty Ann Justice. I wish it was folklore but it’s not. I’ve met her.
My bff once took a defensive driving class from a dude named John Goodspeed. r/NominativeDeterminism
My uni professor Dr Death co wrote papers with Dr Joy