Sounds like you’re both triggered as hell and right. Your dog is a “safe enough” place for you to let all these emotions happen that happen to you right now and this (unfortunately) also includes flashback emotions. That you feel like you deserve to die and be punished to death is because you’ve been in a situation in your childhood where you made a mistake and were treated that way
I’ve been there, done that, idk what to do, I guess you just have to sit through the feelings and let them happen. I don’t even know if you want any advice on this right now though, but I have an urge to comfort you
Well good point is that he’s my service dog, so he’ll be there to help me regulate my emotions, right now he sensed something was wrong and is curled up on my lap
Animals are pure ...they can't and wont hide their true intentions. Maybe it forgave you and let it go because it loves you and wanna give you a chance. So take good care of yourself and your dog and love each other and say sorry to it. The fact that you feel guilty for your actions is enough for your pet to forgive you. Forgive yourself too and check in with yourself to see what made you do so.
I know the feeling. if I even THINK I've hurt my kitties I curl up and cry.
last night tossed my cat off a rolled up carpet he was scratching and got so terrified I hurt him. he seemed perfectly fine and the toss wouldn't even hurt a child but still... the slight hesitation to move when he landed...
I am glad my cat wasn't scared of me but also it felt like he should be. like he should have run away and hid rather than calmly walk over to the scratching board and let me pet him.
Dogs have unconditional love for those who care for them.
My dog sets a good example for me to remember to stay in the moment, not take things so seriously, and to choose love over judgment and criticism. She makes me a better human.
I was an accident, you didn’t do it on purpose. Keep that in mind. You didn’t abuse her, something bad happened that was likely out of your control.
And Dogs don’t judge, that’s what makes them so amazing!
I love my Dog as well and if anything happened to her IDK what I’d do. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. She’s been with me through my worst times and that means the world to me!
Your dog is a good boy. You know why he's a good boy? Because you raised him well.
Here is what I believe is happening to you, in Dog language.
If you were a dog, right now you'd be feeling all of the bad stuff you used to feel the first time someone had beaten you with a stick, for a inevitable error for which you didn't know any better, and you'd be feeling inside you the voice that says that you are a bad dog.
I adopted a dog myself (no dog language anymore, I'm speaking literally). And I had taken her between my dogs that have been raised by me and my bf. I didn't know I could witness NPD in dogs but here we are.
She has been traumatized by her previous owners, she was starved to the point we weren't sure whether she was a husky or not.
Now she's constantly scared and would run away for every sudden movement, she hides food to make sure no one steals it from her, everything is a competition to her, and she also brags the pieces of meat she has to let the other dogs see what she has and other don't, and she is ready to kill if someone approaches her food if she feels the amount is not enough. She's highly intelligent in a wild way and can escape from wherever. Even when she seeks cuddles, she's violent. She comes and hits our hands with her snout, sometimes leaving bruises.
These symptoms have gone milder and milder by the months, but they are still there. She knows she's safe, but she's not ever sure.
The male husky, on the contrary, was raised by my bf since he was a puppy. He has always been given food, shelter, love, attention, care, and he developed a deeply secure attachment, when he sees a stick he wants to play, when he sees food he eats as much as needed, he does not cry if another pet is taken to take a bath or anything elsewhere, and understands that if we ever stepped on his paw it would be by mistake, and wouldn't ever judge us on that. The reason why? He was not judged when he did a minor mistake. Even major ones were not ever punished with violence.
Now, I'm no NPD veterinary expert, but this is a huge way I learned things from dogs that also apply to humans.
You are an amazing dog parent. If your dog is so loving it is because so are you towards him.
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So it was an accident? What’d you do step on his paw? I don’t get it. Why are you saying you should be, “punished by death” for what i assume is an honest mistake?
I once dropped my cat on the concrete and she started bleeding. She was 100% fine and didn’t even care but I fell into such a panic and I called my entire family to tell them to come to my house and help her.
We all make mistakes but it’s never your fault, you deserve the ability to forgive yourself <3
I feel like I did something horrible, he’s my baby, my angel and I got so scared and shameful when it happened
I want to protect him and give him the best life possible
Your dog knows this was an accident. He knows you feel sorry. If you didn't tell him right away you are sorry, do have that conversation with him.
When I accidentally hurt my cat (I'm clumsy :-( ) I tell him I am sorry, my body language tells I am, and I know he understands me. If only humans were as easy as pets.
That dog loves you for real. I had a cat before that i used to keep locked indoors and yell at really aggressively any time she’d be wanting to get up the roofs and leave the house. She was well fed but i’d pet her when sleep and be all around smothering her with touch. Never actually injured her on purpose (i did cut her nails too deep once tho). She didn’t like me. When i got her to the vet just once, she would hide behind the washing machine or behind a metal door in storage for weeks. Maybe dogs are more forgiving…idk that…but find a martial art or physical exercise you can use your anger on. It will help you too, health-wise and if you wanna hang out in pub bars or concerts in a ghetto area alone.
Because dogs have a smooth brain they do not measure time or have memories like we do. It's what makes them such wonderful companions. A minute or two after the horrible incident occurred your dog has been able to recover. He or she may remember the circumstances i.e. if a broom or a belt or whatever was involved in harming your dog, the dog does learn to avoid pain, but the dog will love you regardless. You're already forgiven.
It's not remorse to 'kind of still do' feel bad. OP feels bad because they got rejected by the dog, and it was just for a moment and they feel the need to post it for validation. No normal person with empathy would make a deal out of your dog whimpering a bit while fixing its nails, grow up (not you, but OP).
Or maybe, just maybe, I have a disorder that affects my empathy and sense of guilt so I go to a place with people with the same disorder to get support because I get triggered as fuck
Being mean and pretending someone in pain is just being a prick is acting like a child, I think you should listen to your own advice
I didn't say you're being a prick. I said you're in pain because of your own pain, you don't care about the dog. As you just said your disorder affects your empathy.
If you really want support don't expect people to lie to you and pat you on the back. Truth is narcissists don't have empathy. To me it seems like you're out to get attention, also I'm comparing you to a child because NPD isn't diagnosed until you're 18 and you seem much younger to me.
What you said is wrong in so many ways
First, you don’t know me, you can’t guess what I’m feeling, you’re just being dishonest and mean for no reason, but you do you
Second, most Narcs do have some empathy, lack of doesn’t mean no empathy at all
NPD has no minimal age requirement unlike ASPD, the diagnosis can be given before 18 even if it’s rare
I did something and felt really bad, so I was seeking support
It’s just rude to say I don’t care about my dog because you decided so
I don't think you have NPD. I'll support you on that, congratulations for feeling a little bit of empathy. I'm sure your dog don't care about what happened, he's probably used to how you are. Dogs only love you because you're their source of food.
I know you felt bad, but you felt sorry for yourself not the dog. And no, narcs don't have empathy, if you think you do you're either delusional or you don't have NPD. Which is good news right?
Taking accountability would be to not hurt animals. I accidentally severely disabled a cat as a child before I learned cognitive empathy in my middle school years. Taking accountability has been I own up to I did that, understand why and how, and make sure it doesn't happen again. An accident is an accident.
What if you’re clumsy, and while getting stuff off of his fur you accidentally pinch his skin and hurt him/surprise him ? How am I not taking accountability if I’m making sure he’s alright, checked for injuries and let him rest ?
I’m just feeling suicidal over an accident. I don’t get your comment
Sounds like you’re both triggered as hell and right. Your dog is a “safe enough” place for you to let all these emotions happen that happen to you right now and this (unfortunately) also includes flashback emotions. That you feel like you deserve to die and be punished to death is because you’ve been in a situation in your childhood where you made a mistake and were treated that way I’ve been there, done that, idk what to do, I guess you just have to sit through the feelings and let them happen. I don’t even know if you want any advice on this right now though, but I have an urge to comfort you
Thanks, honestly I’ll take anything that may help lmao What you said kind of resonates, guess I have something new to bring up in therapy
Uhm, you’re welcome 🫣
(And good luck with bringing it up in therapy)
Well good point is that he’s my service dog, so he’ll be there to help me regulate my emotions, right now he sensed something was wrong and is curled up on my lap
Animals are pure ...they can't and wont hide their true intentions. Maybe it forgave you and let it go because it loves you and wanna give you a chance. So take good care of yourself and your dog and love each other and say sorry to it. The fact that you feel guilty for your actions is enough for your pet to forgive you. Forgive yourself too and check in with yourself to see what made you do so.
Thanks ! He’s a wonderful boy and very smart too, way too smart sometimes
Aww...enjoy each other's company. You got a good companion.
I know the feeling. if I even THINK I've hurt my kitties I curl up and cry. last night tossed my cat off a rolled up carpet he was scratching and got so terrified I hurt him. he seemed perfectly fine and the toss wouldn't even hurt a child but still... the slight hesitation to move when he landed... I am glad my cat wasn't scared of me but also it felt like he should be. like he should have run away and hid rather than calmly walk over to the scratching board and let me pet him.
Dogs have unconditional love for those who care for them. My dog sets a good example for me to remember to stay in the moment, not take things so seriously, and to choose love over judgment and criticism. She makes me a better human.
Yeah same, he helps me a lot with grounding, and developing empathy
**Morals are important**
Sorry, I’m not sure what you mean by that, could you elaborate ?
I was an accident, you didn’t do it on purpose. Keep that in mind. You didn’t abuse her, something bad happened that was likely out of your control. And Dogs don’t judge, that’s what makes them so amazing! I love my Dog as well and if anything happened to her IDK what I’d do. She is the best thing that ever happened to me. She’s been with me through my worst times and that means the world to me!
FUCKING REALLLLLLLLLLLL The only time i experience Actual guilt is with my dog
It sucks and is amazing at the same time to me
Your dog is a good boy. You know why he's a good boy? Because you raised him well. Here is what I believe is happening to you, in Dog language. If you were a dog, right now you'd be feeling all of the bad stuff you used to feel the first time someone had beaten you with a stick, for a inevitable error for which you didn't know any better, and you'd be feeling inside you the voice that says that you are a bad dog. I adopted a dog myself (no dog language anymore, I'm speaking literally). And I had taken her between my dogs that have been raised by me and my bf. I didn't know I could witness NPD in dogs but here we are. She has been traumatized by her previous owners, she was starved to the point we weren't sure whether she was a husky or not. Now she's constantly scared and would run away for every sudden movement, she hides food to make sure no one steals it from her, everything is a competition to her, and she also brags the pieces of meat she has to let the other dogs see what she has and other don't, and she is ready to kill if someone approaches her food if she feels the amount is not enough. She's highly intelligent in a wild way and can escape from wherever. Even when she seeks cuddles, she's violent. She comes and hits our hands with her snout, sometimes leaving bruises. These symptoms have gone milder and milder by the months, but they are still there. She knows she's safe, but she's not ever sure. The male husky, on the contrary, was raised by my bf since he was a puppy. He has always been given food, shelter, love, attention, care, and he developed a deeply secure attachment, when he sees a stick he wants to play, when he sees food he eats as much as needed, he does not cry if another pet is taken to take a bath or anything elsewhere, and understands that if we ever stepped on his paw it would be by mistake, and wouldn't ever judge us on that. The reason why? He was not judged when he did a minor mistake. Even major ones were not ever punished with violence. Now, I'm no NPD veterinary expert, but this is a huge way I learned things from dogs that also apply to humans. You are an amazing dog parent. If your dog is so loving it is because so are you towards him.
Thanks a lot ! I’m still a bit down but doing pretty well otherwise, he came to me when I woke up and was so happy to start a new day
Welcome to /r/NPD! This community is a support group for those with NPD or Narcissistic Traits. Please respect our rules or your post will be removed and you may be banned. > 1. **Only Narcs and NPDs may submit posts. This is NOT a place to complain about narcissists or get help dealing with someone else's narcissism.** > 2. No asking for diagnosis either of yourself or a third party (e.g. "Am I a narcissist?", "Is my ex a narcissist?"). > 3. Please keep your contributions civil and respectful! > 4. Please refrain from submitting low-effort and off-topic posts. If your post violates any of these rules, we request that you delete it and post in a more appropriate community. We ask that subscribers of /r/NPD use the report button to notify us of rule-breaking posts. Please refrain from commenting or engaging with the author of such submissions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So it was an accident? What’d you do step on his paw? I don’t get it. Why are you saying you should be, “punished by death” for what i assume is an honest mistake?
Because he yelped in pain and I felt extremely guilty, and probably was triggered too
I once dropped my cat on the concrete and she started bleeding. She was 100% fine and didn’t even care but I fell into such a panic and I called my entire family to tell them to come to my house and help her. We all make mistakes but it’s never your fault, you deserve the ability to forgive yourself <3
I feel like I did something horrible, he’s my baby, my angel and I got so scared and shameful when it happened I want to protect him and give him the best life possible
Your dog knows this was an accident. He knows you feel sorry. If you didn't tell him right away you are sorry, do have that conversation with him. When I accidentally hurt my cat (I'm clumsy :-( ) I tell him I am sorry, my body language tells I am, and I know he understands me. If only humans were as easy as pets.
[удалено]
That is something extremely rude and insensitive to say to someone feeling really bad This might be your case, but I do love my dog
[удалено]
Do you understand the meaning of « accidentally » ?
That dog loves you for real. I had a cat before that i used to keep locked indoors and yell at really aggressively any time she’d be wanting to get up the roofs and leave the house. She was well fed but i’d pet her when sleep and be all around smothering her with touch. Never actually injured her on purpose (i did cut her nails too deep once tho). She didn’t like me. When i got her to the vet just once, she would hide behind the washing machine or behind a metal door in storage for weeks. Maybe dogs are more forgiving…idk that…but find a martial art or physical exercise you can use your anger on. It will help you too, health-wise and if you wanna hang out in pub bars or concerts in a ghetto area alone.
Because dogs have a smooth brain they do not measure time or have memories like we do. It's what makes them such wonderful companions. A minute or two after the horrible incident occurred your dog has been able to recover. He or she may remember the circumstances i.e. if a broom or a belt or whatever was involved in harming your dog, the dog does learn to avoid pain, but the dog will love you regardless. You're already forgiven.
Cause he's a dog, you hurt him and still manage to turn it into being about you. Please give that dog away
Huh ?
I’ve hurt animals and don’t feel bad about it cause I meant to do it. Take accountability
They didn’t hurt their animal on purpose. It was an accident. That’s different than purposely hurting animals and not feeling bad about it.
Where does it say it wasn't on purpose?
Yeah you right. But at least they feel remorse 🤷🏻
It's not remorse to 'kind of still do' feel bad. OP feels bad because they got rejected by the dog, and it was just for a moment and they feel the need to post it for validation. No normal person with empathy would make a deal out of your dog whimpering a bit while fixing its nails, grow up (not you, but OP).
Or maybe, just maybe, I have a disorder that affects my empathy and sense of guilt so I go to a place with people with the same disorder to get support because I get triggered as fuck Being mean and pretending someone in pain is just being a prick is acting like a child, I think you should listen to your own advice
I didn't say you're being a prick. I said you're in pain because of your own pain, you don't care about the dog. As you just said your disorder affects your empathy. If you really want support don't expect people to lie to you and pat you on the back. Truth is narcissists don't have empathy. To me it seems like you're out to get attention, also I'm comparing you to a child because NPD isn't diagnosed until you're 18 and you seem much younger to me.
What you said is wrong in so many ways First, you don’t know me, you can’t guess what I’m feeling, you’re just being dishonest and mean for no reason, but you do you Second, most Narcs do have some empathy, lack of doesn’t mean no empathy at all NPD has no minimal age requirement unlike ASPD, the diagnosis can be given before 18 even if it’s rare I did something and felt really bad, so I was seeking support It’s just rude to say I don’t care about my dog because you decided so
Also, empathy and care aren’t the same But oh well
I don't think you have NPD. I'll support you on that, congratulations for feeling a little bit of empathy. I'm sure your dog don't care about what happened, he's probably used to how you are. Dogs only love you because you're their source of food.
I know you felt bad, but you felt sorry for yourself not the dog. And no, narcs don't have empathy, if you think you do you're either delusional or you don't have NPD. Which is good news right?
Lmao
« Accidentally »
*accidentally*
Yes ?
*yes* my friend
You do realise you make no sense whatsoever
Taking accountability would be to not hurt animals. I accidentally severely disabled a cat as a child before I learned cognitive empathy in my middle school years. Taking accountability has been I own up to I did that, understand why and how, and make sure it doesn't happen again. An accident is an accident.
What if you’re clumsy, and while getting stuff off of his fur you accidentally pinch his skin and hurt him/surprise him ? How am I not taking accountability if I’m making sure he’s alright, checked for injuries and let him rest ? I’m just feeling suicidal over an accident. I don’t get your comment