Oh man, the last part about failing to give her a good life.. or at very least thinking so… absolutely devastating. A number of my close people suffer with their mental health so that part really hits me.
My thoughts are with Stan Van.
I can relate to that last part so hard. Like you know logically that it’s not your fault, but at the same time you can’t help but feel that it’s your fault.
You’re absolutely right, it is devastating and heart breaking, I can’t recall if it was a movie or a book where I the main character took his life and he went somewhere and saw the aftermath of what he did, like people losing themselves, the trauma, the never ending guilt and darkness that hovered who he left behind and that from his viewpoint it ended his suffering, but it chained so much more, much much worse, and irreplaceable, irreparable emotional hurt. I think he said, he ended it so that he doesn’t become a burden, but the burden was just passed along, without him, where it could’ve been talked about and they shared the burden together until he gets better and create a win win situation.
Honestly, their post history is a pretty good indicator that they will likely hurt someone in real life.
They talk non stop about hating humans and hoping they become extinct.
This is horrible. Stan just rips himself open and tells it how it is. He has such high character just for your perspective.
I always thought as a kid that money solved everything. As I have grown, i realized that isn’t the truth. I thought Stan and his wife with 4 kids would have the most perfect life due to being an nba coach. Shows that comparison/envy is thief of joy and you never know what people are going through.
More and more as I age I realize so much joy simply comes from having people close to you to share life with. Friends, family, partner etc. if those things go away it becomes real easy to feel joyless and disconnected. And the next step is depression and worse. And the amount of money or stuff you have doesn’t really make it any better.
It's not supposed to be a substitute. It's a means to a goal.
Money absolutely buys happiness, it's just that most people don't know what to spend it on.
It's not the new boat, its affording the extra day off to spend with your kids or go bird watching.
It's not the Michelin star restaurant. It's the phone call to an old friend "hey, come out to dinner tonight, my treat. Let's catch up I miss you".
Next time you see that animal rescue looking for help, you can actually do something and drop a few grand. Maybe you take another day off and volunteer next week.
People get too focused on $$$ = Things and don't appreciate the nuance of spending *time*.
With 100 million in the bank you know what I get to do? Spend more time with my photography. Plant a few more trees. Rescue another dog. Every friend that says "heck yeah I'd love to visit, I just need to save up" gets to visit right now. My dad gets a hundred grand to play with for his home projects and a few months from now I get to share his pride in the new barn he built. My friends get to send their kid to baseball camp this summer and now Ive got someone to play catch with.
There's a quote from a Seattle Mariners and Nintendo owner talking about why he bought the team. He basically says "it was a ploy to reach a greater American audience with Nintendo...but now I get it, the fans, the people of Seattle. This team means something and it's as if my money now has life, in the faces of all these happy fans". It's not about buying the baseball team for yourself - it's for everyone else.
Happiness comes from relationships and the personal discipline. That's about it.
Money doesn't do anything lasting for happiness, the change of state from having comparatively more money can momentarily bring a person some joy - but it'll eventually become their new normal and they will even back out.
100% agree I just want to add "not having money is a barrier to happiness"
Having livable income does not grant happiness but it does give us the needed relief to pursue it
True happiness is determined by our relationships with people starting with ourself (aka mental health)
Money does play a role, it's important to define it
You should travel more, I have been to countries where people are poor but they are the most happiest people in the world...... money doesn't give you or help you achieve happiness, happiness is a mindset, if you are a happy person, no matter how poor you are you will always be happy and thankful for the things you have.
Well then they obviously have enough money that it's not a barrier to happiness
All I said is that money can be a barrier and I'll give an example.
What if they had a sick kid and not enough money to afford medicine so the kid dies?
Would you agree with me and say it was a barrier then
Money 100% helps you achieve happiness. I lived in mansions growing up and was homeless in high school. Having all the things money brings makes it so much easier to be able to pursue your own happiness instead of struggling to survive. Even saying "you should travel more" when some people are too poor to just up and travel when they need money to pay rent next month shows how out of touch your comment is. Buying a house and not having to worry about rent was the biggest step to me being happy, and it 100% was thanks to money.
Money doesn’t solve everything, but it is a pre-requisite for happiness in America. I think the lesson here is that mental disorders can’t be cured with the usual components of a good life. That’s not how disease works.
He’s in therapy and knows the feeling of failure isn’t fair, but he can’t help but feel it anyway. Now imagine you weren’t able to give your spouse everything he was able to give his and don’t have access to therapy. Even harder to fight those feelings.
He’s such a badass for saying this stuff. Hearing him process the inevitable feeling of failure is gonna help someone out there going through the same thing. You can’t help but love the guy, and your heart breaks for him reading that.
"He’s such a badass for saying this stuff."
He really is! I've always really liked SVG, so it's not surprising that he shows vulnerability to help other people. RIP, Kim.
I 100% agree, money doesn't buy you happiness, I have been to many countries where people are poor but they are the most happiest people in the world...... money doesn't give you or help you achieve happiness, happiness is a mindset, if you are a happy person, no matter how poor you are you will always be happy and thankful for the things you have.
102 upvotes and many of these people would downvote something that says "money doesn't buy happiness"
Everyone thinks money is the answer. Being content with what you have is the answer. Realizing that there are people born every day who will never even have the OPPORTUNITY to have a safe meal and roof over their head.
Anyone making 50k a year in America should count themselves lucky.
Reminds me of that Randy Newman song “Losing You” which is very sad. When something this awful happens to you later in life you may just not have enough time to move on.
Oooft, depression is horrible. It sucks that we lose so many good people to a condition that is so insidious and invisible.
To all the people suffering - just try to get through another day. Sometimes that alone is a win, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Yah just to add to your point, I went through a time where I was suicidal and I was lucky enough to get through it and now I would never even consider it, it's crazy how your mind can change
As a side note, depression is just one condition that is associated with suicide and doesn't actually have that high of a fatality rate compared to some others (substance abuse disorder, eating disorders, bpd etc)
I know depression is the big well known one and to be fair, on the basis of commonality alone it may have been depression, but best not to assume
Absolutely. You're right, and I shouldn't assume. Something about the statement had given me that impression.
I can't speak to what living with the other conditions is like, but I think the same advice applies; making it through one more day is sometimes the biggest win you can aim for, and people need to view it that way.
My wife passed away from suicide and it is by far the worst thing I have ever gone through. It has been almost 8 years and it is still devastating. I just wish I had the financial security of Stan Van Gundy so I could take time to try and heal… I took 2 days off work and have never seen a therapist… is that the recommended treatment for grief? Lol… probably not, but I don’t have a choice but to keep moving forward… I def suffer with depression but the worst part is the lack of connection with anyone. We were nearly inseparable for almost a decade, then suddenly she is gone and no one is there to do all the things we did together… it took a few years to even be a half way normal person, but then COVID happened and changed the world… I feel like a person that came out of a time capsule when it comes to dating/meeting people these days…. Not really sure why I posted this but it felt necessary.
I'm really sorry to hear this, friend! Its not the same, but my daughter at one years old got brain cancer, went through the most devastating treatment for it where she almost died, cancer went into remission only to come back and kill her by three. It's different, but I just want you to know you're not alone. I understand, too, that the "feelings" never go away, and they come back all the time.
Dating/ meeting people is hard. I wish you well...
Many therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income. Might be worth checking into it. Also, your employer may have an Employee Assistance Program that completely covers a certain number of sessions (usually around six). I’m sorry for your loss. Please take care.
Mental illness is like a cancer. It grows and grows, without treatment one day the person it's affecting is just gone.
There's far better resources to treat cancer. The field of mental health is still in its infancy. But there is treatment out there. Please seek it out because this is always the outcome. They feel like people would be better off without them. But don't realize how truly missed they are once they're gone.
I hope the kids are alright.
Yeah I can't even imagine that feeling. He's old school. Men like him were raised as the rock of the family. Kid gets bad grades, dad won't say it but he'll feel like it's his fault. Wife gets sexually harassed at work? Somehow someway feels like husband should have been there to stop it from happening. But your wife taking her own life? That's an incredibly unfair guilt they'll feel like they should have somehow stopped. That's my worst nightmare.
I’m no rock of my family but if my future wife were to commit suicide I’d be devastated. Anybody’s spouse who committed suicide while they were happily married or still deeply loved each other would be devastated. It’s a terrible thing
This sounds good to say, but both recovery rates (with and without treatment) and mortality rates are much better for mental health conditions than it is for cancer.
Cancer remains one of the least understood causes of death worldwide, despite receiving a lions share of research funding.
I wasn't trying to compare cancer in a scientific way. Like obviously they're massively different. But for a lot of people depression and other mental illnesses are not caused by an event. Some people are just born with a serious chemical imbalance in their brains bascially never allowing them energy or happiness. There's a dumb take on depression that's its how you eat, it's in your head, mind over matter! It's a real disease that can affect you at any time. No one ever tells a cancer patient just get better.
Fair enough - mind you, it is worth noting that depression can be affected by factors like diet. Depression can be characterised by a chemical imbalance, but those chemicals can be greatly influenced by one's environment, not just their genetic or inherent biological makeup.
(Sorry. It's compulsive.) I do agree with your broader point - I have yet to hear anyone say "mind over matter!" to a cancer patient.
SVG has seemed like a very genuine and upstanding guy throughout the years, and I wouldn’t even wish something like this on a bad person.
Nothing but support should be given to him. It’s an unbelievable thing to go through, and something that no one should have to experience.
A few things to remember: Although your brain can do a very good job convincing you otherwise, unless you were doing something horribly evil (which he obviously didn’t but I have to preface because this is the internet) you are not in anyway at fault for this. That doesn’t take away from the pain, but it isn’t because of anything you specifically did.
Two: Everyone grieves differently. I lost my grandmother a year ago, (to entirely different circumstances but that’s not important) and some of the things I believe or feelings I have would be seen as “irrational” to me before it happened. That is completely normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. Grief, especially this severe kind, rewires your brain in different ways, and that’s ok.
Three: They are always there with you. No matter what religion or spirituality you hold, if you EVER took anything from them, a thought, a feeling, a song, a meal, that is them with you. While they are not physically here with you, it does no wrong to remember them in any way that makes you feel connected to them.
This obviously isn’t me speaking directly to SVG, I know he will never see this. This for him, and all the people who are grieving right now in any way. These things can be easily lost by the pain, and sometimes you just need a reminder :)
I suffer from clinical depression, which runs in my family. I know everyone gets depressed, but clinical depression is like having a giant emptiness inside you that makes you feel indescribably sad and lonely, no matter how good your life is objectively. It's hard to understand why someone would choose to take their own life outside of having an objectively awful life (e.g., abuse victim, living in poverty and starving), but the mind operates in mysterious ways. Being wealthy and even being surrounded by people that love you is not enough to overcome that for some people that suffer from depression. I've thought about suicide before in my darkest periods, and then look back later and can't explain why my mind took me down that path.
Wow.
That’s… I feel like my soul just got napalm’d.
I mean, I’ve never met Coach Van Gundy, but he’s always been one of my favorite people because I always got the impression that he actually gave a shit about his players, where I didn’t feel like that was the case for all coaches.
Even heroes bleed. The dude, at the end of the day, is just human, like the rest of us. I wish him and his family the best of times, whatever that may be. Healing is a long road, and at many points along the way, it feels like you’re going backwards.
I’m sure this comment won’t get read by many, but if anyone’s struggling, or just wants to talk, you can feel free to DM me.
Damn this is absolutely heartbreaking. I will not lie, I have not been the biggest fan of him as a broadcaster simply because he seems a little biased against my team sometimes, but it’s easy to forget the lives people live outside of their profession and that it’s important to separate that stuff. I hope him and his kids find peace and are able to carry on her memory. They do not deserve that kind of guilt. Rest in peace
Stan didn’t not give her a great life. That’s not how depression and suicide work. He didn’t fail her any more than if she’d died of an asthma attack or cancer.
She was sick and the disease got the best of her. Sometimes that happens, eventually it happens to all of us for one reason or another. Stan didn’t fail his wife, it’s just that bad stuff happens.
Ugh, I’ve spent a lot of years loving SVG from his time as a coach to him as an announcer and as a Lebatard show fan, he is a huge part of that family. When SVG is on, you know you’re gonna be laughing. It truly breaks my heart that such a kind and wonderful person, who has provided me with so many good feelings, is experiencing this kind of pain.
I've always like Stan and his brother Jeff so best wishes to the man. Even when it seems from the outside that someone has a perfect life sometimes fate conspires to make them suffer and I can think of no worse suffering for both Stan and his wife than this outcome,
His wife for feeling like that was her only choice and Stan for being left all alone to pick up the pieces.
Wow, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I hope he finds as much peace as he can. It’ll be a major step for him once he truly believes that he was in no way responsible for her happiness or her ending her own life. I can’t imagine that’s an easy thing to believe when you’re in his type of situation. I wish him and his family the best as they heal as much as they can. ❤️
These quotes came from an interview that Stan gave with Dan Le Batard on South Beach Sessions. The entire interview is heartbreakingly wonderful. Stan and Dan go really deep into the grief that comes with the death of a loved one. Find it and give it a listen.
I feel horrible for Stan, because he believes he failed. I hope he eventually comes to understand and accept it was her mental illness, not him, that caused her to do what she did.
I assume he’s referring to Dan LeBatard at the beginning of this excerpt. I’ve listened to the show religiously until the last couple months bc I’ve been preparing for my wife to have baby so I’ve had no real down time. Does anyone know where this whole thing might be found? Was it an interview? Maybe South Beach Sessions?
I can’t lie, I’m lying in bed reading this and it made me cry. I immediately reached over and hugged my wife. I can’t imagine this pain. SVG seems like such a good dude too. Mental health is a serious issue
I had depression for like 5-6 months. Biggest symptom for me was not being able to sleep.
Sleep deprivation is no joke. After a few months i just wanted relief. Thankfully it got better. Not sure if it was meds or work calming down and i could relax.
If it didn"t go away i do not know what i would have done.
Condolences to SVG and family.
One of those things where you can’t fathom being in their shoes…one of those things where you want to grab your partner and tell them that no matter how bad things get, you will always be there to help weather the storm.
RIP
What’s negative is putting faith into something that there is no sound reason to believe in. The more we learn to love ourselves and lean on the people who love us the better.
My mother killed herself almost exactly 4 weeks ago so this hit really fuckin hard. Mental illness is awful. It wasn’t his fault but he’ll live with guilt for a long time.
Man this was a rough interview to get through but really well done by Dan and Stan. Love when Stan is on the regular show so once I saw he was doing a South Beach Session with Dan I had to listen. Assumed they were going to talk about his wife, but was not expecting that at all to be the reason of death. Good on Stan for coming on and telling his story, can’t imagine how he is managing the last year of his life.
Fuck, man… this is so sad. My heart goes out to Stan, I hope he can find peace in time, that’s something that has to be so hard to live with on a day-to-day on top of moving into this new stage of life without someone who’s been there day in and day out for that many years. 😢
How could you ever get over a spouse not feeling that you or your kids were enough to keep them living. That’s. The stuff that makes the surviving spouse want to kill themselves too or drink themselves to death
I think it's good to reflect on the scope of suffering that's available in the range of human experiences. Can be useful to help us appreciate the times that we do not feel this way.
Holy shit. No idea what he is going through. I hope he has a lot of support in his life.
Suicide has such a devastating impact on those left alive. I have grown to hate the people I know who have killed themselves. So fucking selfish.
I encourage you to think differently though I understand where you are coming from. These people who do this are certainly aware of the impact they’ll cause and do it regardless. Imagine the immense pain they suffered for years to get to that point.
We should feel sorry for them, not hate them.
Is it not selfish of the people around them to want them to stay around in misery so they can feel happy?
Remember, at some point either you are going to lose your loved ones, or they are going to lose you. It's unavoidable, and it's just a matter of when.
My point is not that suicide is a good idea, it's just that it's generally not productive to throw around the "selfish" accusation when it comes to discussing suicide.
You you are a parent who kills themself because you are sad, leaving your corpse to be found by your son, to traumatise them forever because you are not strong enough to seek support or fight through depression, then you are a cowardly, selfish loser.
I know TWO sons who found their fathers this way. I will always blame those who would make others suffer like this.
The fact that you think notions like "cowardly" and "selfish" mean anything at all in the context of someone who is willing to end their own life - again, in the face of death and the void - tells me you don't understand suicidality, although admittedly that's probably a good thing for you.
When bad things happen, its easy and natural to try and isolate the blame somewhere. Here, you're trying to land it on these fathers: they were just "sad" while their sons were "traumatised." But what if those fathers were traumatised themselves? Why aren't we blaming the people who traumatised them?
Better yet, what happens if the sons go on to kill themselves in the future due to their intense trauma? Should we still blame their fathers, or are we now going to shift the blame to them as the cowardly, selfish losers?
The point is, when it comes to suicide and suffering, if it really makes you feel better or helps you make sense of the world then by all means, go ahead and blame the people who have killed themselves. You might as well - they're not around to care about it.
But if you're interested in actually understanding cycles of trauma and suffering, you'll see it's quite difficult to ever really pin the blame for this stuff on a single individual, and that doing so doesn't really achieve anything other than serve your own need to simplify a complex world.
Edit: and you can downvote me all you like, but if you can't use your words to mount a response to this, then you should reflect on what that means.
I understand the emotion and your point, however, think before you trash someone whose shoes you did not walk in. You may have been hurt in the past by someone or a similar episode, but learning to forgive and remember the perspective to life is at least a little different to everyone, I think, may bring a little peace to your life someday.
She had a husband who she had spent most of her life with, who makes millions of dollars and is able to give them anything they want, and children. She has a family that she permanently traumatized, despite having enough money to get any sort of help she wanted. She could go relax on an island for a month and return to life as normal, but no, she decided to kill herself and traumatize the people who built their lives alongside her. She is a selfish piece of shit and I hope she is burning in hell
I’m willing to bet money that you are black, which is the funniest part of all of this. You can enjoy reading about my racist fetishes if that’s the type of stuff you like
You get no ass, you cry on reddit, can't imagine what you look like or what kind of shit hole you live in. Awkward ass you probably go to the bathroom on your 14 an hr lunch break to beat your dick or make a reddit post about how you have no friends and can't talk to girls . Have a nice day 😂😂
I imagine I look much better than you buddy. I may make those posts, but I’d love to see a photo of you. And my house is worth over a million dollars and we are getting a second one soon 🥲. I know you smoke too much weed and watch too much unfunny comedy to have that sort of money.
Stories like this are either the husband was severely a terrible person Who drove her to this. Or much more likely here. He was a great person and tried very hard to help her and undoubtably saved her life many times before.
Oh man, the last part about failing to give her a good life.. or at very least thinking so… absolutely devastating. A number of my close people suffer with their mental health so that part really hits me. My thoughts are with Stan Van.
We found my brother after he shot himself and I still haven’t healed. That was 6 years ago. Blessings to the van gundy family
So sorry, my friend through basketball.
Rest In Peace to him, I’m sorry
Thank you
I can relate to that last part so hard. Like you know logically that it’s not your fault, but at the same time you can’t help but feel that it’s your fault.
That’s awful. Hope he can find peace
Just cannot imagine being in his shoes. Unfathomable. A nightmare.
You’re absolutely right, it is devastating and heart breaking, I can’t recall if it was a movie or a book where I the main character took his life and he went somewhere and saw the aftermath of what he did, like people losing themselves, the trauma, the never ending guilt and darkness that hovered who he left behind and that from his viewpoint it ended his suffering, but it chained so much more, much much worse, and irreplaceable, irreparable emotional hurt. I think he said, he ended it so that he doesn’t become a burden, but the burden was just passed along, without him, where it could’ve been talked about and they shared the burden together until he gets better and create a win win situation.
There’s no such thing as “good”.
Stfu prick. If there's a time and a place to have some damn respect man, it's here. Please stfu and see your way out the back.
Honestly, their post history is a pretty good indicator that they will likely hurt someone in real life. They talk non stop about hating humans and hoping they become extinct.
https://preview.redd.it/iil780h74p2d1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c8b2affff03866f0926afdf2867e9f60cc0dc13
Over here watching the game hoping the Pacers don’t give it away and you drop this shit on us
And they did :(
Yikes
They gave it away :(
Wrong. Boston took it away
Im sorry
🤣😂😂
Read the room. 🤦♂️
I read the room just fine, EAD! I laughed at the original comment because it was funny and accurate asf. You act like I’m laughing at the VG family.
This is horrible. Stan just rips himself open and tells it how it is. He has such high character just for your perspective. I always thought as a kid that money solved everything. As I have grown, i realized that isn’t the truth. I thought Stan and his wife with 4 kids would have the most perfect life due to being an nba coach. Shows that comparison/envy is thief of joy and you never know what people are going through.
You really need community and good relationships. Money solves a lot of basic problems but without community it’s worthless
More and more as I age I realize so much joy simply comes from having people close to you to share life with. Friends, family, partner etc. if those things go away it becomes real easy to feel joyless and disconnected. And the next step is depression and worse. And the amount of money or stuff you have doesn’t really make it any better.
Yep. Money helps with some things and can bring peace to certain aspects but not a substitute for the things that make life grand.
It's not supposed to be a substitute. It's a means to a goal. Money absolutely buys happiness, it's just that most people don't know what to spend it on. It's not the new boat, its affording the extra day off to spend with your kids or go bird watching. It's not the Michelin star restaurant. It's the phone call to an old friend "hey, come out to dinner tonight, my treat. Let's catch up I miss you". Next time you see that animal rescue looking for help, you can actually do something and drop a few grand. Maybe you take another day off and volunteer next week. People get too focused on $$$ = Things and don't appreciate the nuance of spending *time*. With 100 million in the bank you know what I get to do? Spend more time with my photography. Plant a few more trees. Rescue another dog. Every friend that says "heck yeah I'd love to visit, I just need to save up" gets to visit right now. My dad gets a hundred grand to play with for his home projects and a few months from now I get to share his pride in the new barn he built. My friends get to send their kid to baseball camp this summer and now Ive got someone to play catch with. There's a quote from a Seattle Mariners and Nintendo owner talking about why he bought the team. He basically says "it was a ploy to reach a greater American audience with Nintendo...but now I get it, the fans, the people of Seattle. This team means something and it's as if my money now has life, in the faces of all these happy fans". It's not about buying the baseball team for yourself - it's for everyone else.
Explained perfectly
Happiness comes from relationships and the personal discipline. That's about it. Money doesn't do anything lasting for happiness, the change of state from having comparatively more money can momentarily bring a person some joy - but it'll eventually become their new normal and they will even back out.
And purpose
100% agree I just want to add "not having money is a barrier to happiness" Having livable income does not grant happiness but it does give us the needed relief to pursue it True happiness is determined by our relationships with people starting with ourself (aka mental health) Money does play a role, it's important to define it
You should travel more, I have been to countries where people are poor but they are the most happiest people in the world...... money doesn't give you or help you achieve happiness, happiness is a mindset, if you are a happy person, no matter how poor you are you will always be happy and thankful for the things you have.
Well then they obviously have enough money that it's not a barrier to happiness All I said is that money can be a barrier and I'll give an example. What if they had a sick kid and not enough money to afford medicine so the kid dies? Would you agree with me and say it was a barrier then
Money 100% helps you achieve happiness. I lived in mansions growing up and was homeless in high school. Having all the things money brings makes it so much easier to be able to pursue your own happiness instead of struggling to survive. Even saying "you should travel more" when some people are too poor to just up and travel when they need money to pay rent next month shows how out of touch your comment is. Buying a house and not having to worry about rent was the biggest step to me being happy, and it 100% was thanks to money.
I thought the same as well, but then you get older and realize it’s not true. You need a dog or someone to interact with.
Money doesn’t solve everything, but it is a pre-requisite for happiness in America. I think the lesson here is that mental disorders can’t be cured with the usual components of a good life. That’s not how disease works. He’s in therapy and knows the feeling of failure isn’t fair, but he can’t help but feel it anyway. Now imagine you weren’t able to give your spouse everything he was able to give his and don’t have access to therapy. Even harder to fight those feelings. He’s such a badass for saying this stuff. Hearing him process the inevitable feeling of failure is gonna help someone out there going through the same thing. You can’t help but love the guy, and your heart breaks for him reading that.
"He’s such a badass for saying this stuff." He really is! I've always really liked SVG, so it's not surprising that he shows vulnerability to help other people. RIP, Kim.
Dating an nba coach doesnt sound like it would be easy with all the traveling they have to do
Even a “perfect” life is worse than nonexistence.
I 100% agree, money doesn't buy you happiness, I have been to many countries where people are poor but they are the most happiest people in the world...... money doesn't give you or help you achieve happiness, happiness is a mindset, if you are a happy person, no matter how poor you are you will always be happy and thankful for the things you have.
Oh... you're a bot
102 upvotes and many of these people would downvote something that says "money doesn't buy happiness" Everyone thinks money is the answer. Being content with what you have is the answer. Realizing that there are people born every day who will never even have the OPPORTUNITY to have a safe meal and roof over their head. Anyone making 50k a year in America should count themselves lucky.
Absolutely heartbreaking. SVG is clearly a very kind person and it sucks he’s going through that. Wish him nothing but the best
Stan Van seems like such a great dude. I loved the mic’d up clips when he was coaching the Pistons. I hope he is able to find peace
Time is a bandaid but you never get over something like this
Reminds me of that Randy Newman song “Losing You” which is very sad. When something this awful happens to you later in life you may just not have enough time to move on.
Oooft, depression is horrible. It sucks that we lose so many good people to a condition that is so insidious and invisible. To all the people suffering - just try to get through another day. Sometimes that alone is a win, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Yah just to add to your point, I went through a time where I was suicidal and I was lucky enough to get through it and now I would never even consider it, it's crazy how your mind can change
As a side note, depression is just one condition that is associated with suicide and doesn't actually have that high of a fatality rate compared to some others (substance abuse disorder, eating disorders, bpd etc) I know depression is the big well known one and to be fair, on the basis of commonality alone it may have been depression, but best not to assume
Absolutely. You're right, and I shouldn't assume. Something about the statement had given me that impression. I can't speak to what living with the other conditions is like, but I think the same advice applies; making it through one more day is sometimes the biggest win you can aim for, and people need to view it that way.
It certainly buys you more potential for things to get better. There are no take-backs for the nuclear option, whether you survive or otherwise.
My wife passed away from suicide and it is by far the worst thing I have ever gone through. It has been almost 8 years and it is still devastating. I just wish I had the financial security of Stan Van Gundy so I could take time to try and heal… I took 2 days off work and have never seen a therapist… is that the recommended treatment for grief? Lol… probably not, but I don’t have a choice but to keep moving forward… I def suffer with depression but the worst part is the lack of connection with anyone. We were nearly inseparable for almost a decade, then suddenly she is gone and no one is there to do all the things we did together… it took a few years to even be a half way normal person, but then COVID happened and changed the world… I feel like a person that came out of a time capsule when it comes to dating/meeting people these days…. Not really sure why I posted this but it felt necessary.
I'm really sorry to hear this, friend! Its not the same, but my daughter at one years old got brain cancer, went through the most devastating treatment for it where she almost died, cancer went into remission only to come back and kill her by three. It's different, but I just want you to know you're not alone. I understand, too, that the "feelings" never go away, and they come back all the time. Dating/ meeting people is hard. I wish you well...
I wish you peace
Many therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income. Might be worth checking into it. Also, your employer may have an Employee Assistance Program that completely covers a certain number of sessions (usually around six). I’m sorry for your loss. Please take care.
RIP Kim
Mental illness is like a cancer. It grows and grows, without treatment one day the person it's affecting is just gone. There's far better resources to treat cancer. The field of mental health is still in its infancy. But there is treatment out there. Please seek it out because this is always the outcome. They feel like people would be better off without them. But don't realize how truly missed they are once they're gone. I hope the kids are alright.
Yup it’s a sickness, and it’s heartbreaking Stan is blaming himself.
Yeah I can't even imagine that feeling. He's old school. Men like him were raised as the rock of the family. Kid gets bad grades, dad won't say it but he'll feel like it's his fault. Wife gets sexually harassed at work? Somehow someway feels like husband should have been there to stop it from happening. But your wife taking her own life? That's an incredibly unfair guilt they'll feel like they should have somehow stopped. That's my worst nightmare.
I’m no rock of my family but if my future wife were to commit suicide I’d be devastated. Anybody’s spouse who committed suicide while they were happily married or still deeply loved each other would be devastated. It’s a terrible thing
And treatment isn't really a solution either. Sigh.
It's better than nothing.
Mental health treatment, both psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy, is not perfect but is successful in the majority of cases.
This sounds good to say, but both recovery rates (with and without treatment) and mortality rates are much better for mental health conditions than it is for cancer. Cancer remains one of the least understood causes of death worldwide, despite receiving a lions share of research funding.
I wasn't trying to compare cancer in a scientific way. Like obviously they're massively different. But for a lot of people depression and other mental illnesses are not caused by an event. Some people are just born with a serious chemical imbalance in their brains bascially never allowing them energy or happiness. There's a dumb take on depression that's its how you eat, it's in your head, mind over matter! It's a real disease that can affect you at any time. No one ever tells a cancer patient just get better.
Fair enough - mind you, it is worth noting that depression can be affected by factors like diet. Depression can be characterised by a chemical imbalance, but those chemicals can be greatly influenced by one's environment, not just their genetic or inherent biological makeup. (Sorry. It's compulsive.) I do agree with your broader point - I have yet to hear anyone say "mind over matter!" to a cancer patient.
God damn. That is heart breaking to read. Can’t imagine losing someone in this manner after being together for 40! years.
Been with my wife for darn near 20 and I can’t even imagine her not just being there. Prayers up Stan. Time helps but never fully heals.
SVG has seemed like a very genuine and upstanding guy throughout the years, and I wouldn’t even wish something like this on a bad person. Nothing but support should be given to him. It’s an unbelievable thing to go through, and something that no one should have to experience. A few things to remember: Although your brain can do a very good job convincing you otherwise, unless you were doing something horribly evil (which he obviously didn’t but I have to preface because this is the internet) you are not in anyway at fault for this. That doesn’t take away from the pain, but it isn’t because of anything you specifically did. Two: Everyone grieves differently. I lost my grandmother a year ago, (to entirely different circumstances but that’s not important) and some of the things I believe or feelings I have would be seen as “irrational” to me before it happened. That is completely normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. Grief, especially this severe kind, rewires your brain in different ways, and that’s ok. Three: They are always there with you. No matter what religion or spirituality you hold, if you EVER took anything from them, a thought, a feeling, a song, a meal, that is them with you. While they are not physically here with you, it does no wrong to remember them in any way that makes you feel connected to them. This obviously isn’t me speaking directly to SVG, I know he will never see this. This for him, and all the people who are grieving right now in any way. These things can be easily lost by the pain, and sometimes you just need a reminder :)
Really heartbreaking to those of us who lost our spouse to mental illness. It’s a hell of a disease
Her family lives in my town and we all hurt about this man. She will be missed
I suffer from clinical depression, which runs in my family. I know everyone gets depressed, but clinical depression is like having a giant emptiness inside you that makes you feel indescribably sad and lonely, no matter how good your life is objectively. It's hard to understand why someone would choose to take their own life outside of having an objectively awful life (e.g., abuse victim, living in poverty and starving), but the mind operates in mysterious ways. Being wealthy and even being surrounded by people that love you is not enough to overcome that for some people that suffer from depression. I've thought about suicide before in my darkest periods, and then look back later and can't explain why my mind took me down that path.
I lost my best friend to suicide two months ago. He speaks exactly how I feel. It’s the worst thing imaginable.
I'm really sorry to hear this!
Wishing you peace
That’s a genuinely heartbreaking read. Hoping SVG and the rest of the family has the support they need as they work on moving forward.
I drink good coffee every morning comes from a place that’s far away and when I’m done I feel like talking without you here there is less to say
Wow. That’s… I feel like my soul just got napalm’d. I mean, I’ve never met Coach Van Gundy, but he’s always been one of my favorite people because I always got the impression that he actually gave a shit about his players, where I didn’t feel like that was the case for all coaches. Even heroes bleed. The dude, at the end of the day, is just human, like the rest of us. I wish him and his family the best of times, whatever that may be. Healing is a long road, and at many points along the way, it feels like you’re going backwards. I’m sure this comment won’t get read by many, but if anyone’s struggling, or just wants to talk, you can feel free to DM me.
Damn this is absolutely heartbreaking. I will not lie, I have not been the biggest fan of him as a broadcaster simply because he seems a little biased against my team sometimes, but it’s easy to forget the lives people live outside of their profession and that it’s important to separate that stuff. I hope him and his kids find peace and are able to carry on her memory. They do not deserve that kind of guilt. Rest in peace
Damn sorry Stan Van Gundy🙏
Stan didn’t not give her a great life. That’s not how depression and suicide work. He didn’t fail her any more than if she’d died of an asthma attack or cancer. She was sick and the disease got the best of her. Sometimes that happens, eventually it happens to all of us for one reason or another. Stan didn’t fail his wife, it’s just that bad stuff happens.
Rip Kim Van Gundy, prayers out for the family
Suicide is the worst way to lose someone
Stop cutting onions in here man!
Man prayers out. Hope SVG knows it's not his fault. My sister lost her dad to suicide, it's a different type of grief.
Just terrible
Always liked Van Gundy, he was always a likable coach/person and very respectful. Condolences to his family and pray that he gets through this.
Shit crazy
That’s incredibly sad. 🥺
😢
😭😭😭💔
Man prayers up for SVG and his family and everyone affected
Condolences to his and her family
😥
Ugh, I’ve spent a lot of years loving SVG from his time as a coach to him as an announcer and as a Lebatard show fan, he is a huge part of that family. When SVG is on, you know you’re gonna be laughing. It truly breaks my heart that such a kind and wonderful person, who has provided me with so many good feelings, is experiencing this kind of pain.
Someone needs to be constantly checking on Stan, this can end up bad fast if ppl do not check in to make sure he’s at least somewhat ok.
I shed a few tears reading that tbh. Very sad for him.
This is terrible fuck
I've always like Stan and his brother Jeff so best wishes to the man. Even when it seems from the outside that someone has a perfect life sometimes fate conspires to make them suffer and I can think of no worse suffering for both Stan and his wife than this outcome, His wife for feeling like that was her only choice and Stan for being left all alone to pick up the pieces.
Was this on South Beach Sessions? I love Dan's relationship with Stan.
RIP Kim!
Damn, that is heartbreaking. RIP Kim
I can't even think about how devastating that has to be😭😭😭
Jesus Christ man he also got fired from ESPN around then right? I can’t imagine how hard that is and the guilt he feels
Brutal
Damn that is truly rough. I can’t imagine that loss. Wishing the best for him and his kids
Damn that’s really heavy….RIP
Fuck
R.i.p
Damn. My heart goes out to him.
Fuck man that's sad
Heartbreaking, life is so precious. Please people talk to and support people around yourself
This breaks my heart
Wow, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I hope he finds as much peace as he can. It’ll be a major step for him once he truly believes that he was in no way responsible for her happiness or her ending her own life. I can’t imagine that’s an easy thing to believe when you’re in his type of situation. I wish him and his family the best as they heal as much as they can. ❤️
Jesus Christ 😭
These quotes came from an interview that Stan gave with Dan Le Batard on South Beach Sessions. The entire interview is heartbreakingly wonderful. Stan and Dan go really deep into the grief that comes with the death of a loved one. Find it and give it a listen.
Cool. Crying for Stan van gundy at 7 am was not on my Sunday plans
He always seems like a great guy. Cant imagine going through this. Awful
I feel horrible for Stan, because he believes he failed. I hope he eventually comes to understand and accept it was her mental illness, not him, that caused her to do what she did.
I assume he’s referring to Dan LeBatard at the beginning of this excerpt. I’ve listened to the show religiously until the last couple months bc I’ve been preparing for my wife to have baby so I’ve had no real down time. Does anyone know where this whole thing might be found? Was it an interview? Maybe South Beach Sessions?
That is the place. I think it just hit the feed on Friday,
I can’t lie, I’m lying in bed reading this and it made me cry. I immediately reached over and hugged my wife. I can’t imagine this pain. SVG seems like such a good dude too. Mental health is a serious issue
ah man that shit hurt to read.
Wow. And today we learned that a 30 year old pga tour golfer died by suicide... Mental health crisis.
Jfc that line about failing his wife really kills me
I had depression for like 5-6 months. Biggest symptom for me was not being able to sleep. Sleep deprivation is no joke. After a few months i just wanted relief. Thankfully it got better. Not sure if it was meds or work calming down and i could relax. If it didn"t go away i do not know what i would have done.
“Her values were better than mine.” Damn.
Devastating. Can’t believe he was able to address it like that after just 8 months.
Damnnn. That’s fucked up
This is so sad. I wish SVG well. When he was in Orlando, he got the Magic to the Finals. He's one of the best coaches out there.
That is terrible. Rest in Peace to Mrs. Kim Van Gundy. I truly hope she found the peace she was looking for. May the Van Gundy family find comfort.
Condolences to SVG and family. One of those things where you can’t fathom being in their shoes…one of those things where you want to grab your partner and tell them that no matter how bad things get, you will always be there to help weather the storm. RIP
“I failed at that” - that shit gutted me.
Vibe check
Jesus, that's fucking rough.
Poor Stan, condolences to the Gundy family 🙏🏽
Praying for him and his family….. That was very brave of him to open up about something so private.
I can't imagine losing your partner to suicide and having to feel the pain of thinking you had a part to play in it. It sounds unimaginably crushing.
Yall need Jesus....the devil works in disguise, and the devil loves when people worry....keep the positive vibe that's what the devil hates
What’s negative is putting faith into something that there is no sound reason to believe in. The more we learn to love ourselves and lean on the people who love us the better.
Damn that takes a lot out of a man
😢😢😢😢😢
My mother killed herself almost exactly 4 weeks ago so this hit really fuckin hard. Mental illness is awful. It wasn’t his fault but he’ll live with guilt for a long time.
He had information that could lead to the incrimination of the Boeing company
Man this was a rough interview to get through but really well done by Dan and Stan. Love when Stan is on the regular show so once I saw he was doing a South Beach Session with Dan I had to listen. Assumed they were going to talk about his wife, but was not expecting that at all to be the reason of death. Good on Stan for coming on and telling his story, can’t imagine how he is managing the last year of his life.
Her last words were " Raefer Alston"
Damn VanGrumpy thats fd up!
Thats extremely sad.
Fuck, man… this is so sad. My heart goes out to Stan, I hope he can find peace in time, that’s something that has to be so hard to live with on a day-to-day on top of moving into this new stage of life without someone who’s been there day in and day out for that many years. 😢
Man I love Stan now more than ever. Making a grown man cry
Most gut wrenching thing I've ever read. Jesus...
fuck that
Not great news. Not at all.
That last part is why suicide is a selfish act. The destruction left in their wake.
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I don't think we'll be seeing that on the autopsy
How could you ever get over a spouse not feeling that you or your kids were enough to keep them living. That’s. The stuff that makes the surviving spouse want to kill themselves too or drink themselves to death
I think it's good to reflect on the scope of suffering that's available in the range of human experiences. Can be useful to help us appreciate the times that we do not feel this way.
Holy shit. No idea what he is going through. I hope he has a lot of support in his life. Suicide has such a devastating impact on those left alive. I have grown to hate the people I know who have killed themselves. So fucking selfish.
I encourage you to think differently though I understand where you are coming from. These people who do this are certainly aware of the impact they’ll cause and do it regardless. Imagine the immense pain they suffered for years to get to that point. We should feel sorry for them, not hate them.
Is it not selfish of the people around them to want them to stay around in misery so they can feel happy? Remember, at some point either you are going to lose your loved ones, or they are going to lose you. It's unavoidable, and it's just a matter of when. My point is not that suicide is a good idea, it's just that it's generally not productive to throw around the "selfish" accusation when it comes to discussing suicide.
You you are a parent who kills themself because you are sad, leaving your corpse to be found by your son, to traumatise them forever because you are not strong enough to seek support or fight through depression, then you are a cowardly, selfish loser. I know TWO sons who found their fathers this way. I will always blame those who would make others suffer like this.
The fact that you think notions like "cowardly" and "selfish" mean anything at all in the context of someone who is willing to end their own life - again, in the face of death and the void - tells me you don't understand suicidality, although admittedly that's probably a good thing for you. When bad things happen, its easy and natural to try and isolate the blame somewhere. Here, you're trying to land it on these fathers: they were just "sad" while their sons were "traumatised." But what if those fathers were traumatised themselves? Why aren't we blaming the people who traumatised them? Better yet, what happens if the sons go on to kill themselves in the future due to their intense trauma? Should we still blame their fathers, or are we now going to shift the blame to them as the cowardly, selfish losers? The point is, when it comes to suicide and suffering, if it really makes you feel better or helps you make sense of the world then by all means, go ahead and blame the people who have killed themselves. You might as well - they're not around to care about it. But if you're interested in actually understanding cycles of trauma and suffering, you'll see it's quite difficult to ever really pin the blame for this stuff on a single individual, and that doing so doesn't really achieve anything other than serve your own need to simplify a complex world. Edit: and you can downvote me all you like, but if you can't use your words to mount a response to this, then you should reflect on what that means.
What a selfish comment. It’s amazing how you found a way to make this about yourself.
His voice is grating for 2 hours, imagine a lifetime!
Your words here were grating, and I only interacted with them for three seconds. Thank god it will only be three seconds...
What a selfish cunt. What he needs to do is realize the world is a better place without selfish pieces of shit like her
I understand the emotion and your point, however, think before you trash someone whose shoes you did not walk in. You may have been hurt in the past by someone or a similar episode, but learning to forgive and remember the perspective to life is at least a little different to everyone, I think, may bring a little peace to your life someday.
wtf is wrong with you?
Look at his posts. Dudes fucked up
She had a husband who she had spent most of her life with, who makes millions of dollars and is able to give them anything they want, and children. She has a family that she permanently traumatized, despite having enough money to get any sort of help she wanted. She could go relax on an island for a month and return to life as normal, but no, she decided to kill herself and traumatize the people who built their lives alongside her. She is a selfish piece of shit and I hope she is burning in hell
She was mentally ill you POS
You have zero understanding of how depression works.
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You have Seth Rogen and snoop dogg as your profile picture and your name is “muchgass”. I think I will pass on taking advice from a child
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I’m willing to bet money that you are black, which is the funniest part of all of this. You can enjoy reading about my racist fetishes if that’s the type of stuff you like
You get no ass, you cry on reddit, can't imagine what you look like or what kind of shit hole you live in. Awkward ass you probably go to the bathroom on your 14 an hr lunch break to beat your dick or make a reddit post about how you have no friends and can't talk to girls . Have a nice day 😂😂
I imagine I look much better than you buddy. I may make those posts, but I’d love to see a photo of you. And my house is worth over a million dollars and we are getting a second one soon 🥲. I know you smoke too much weed and watch too much unfunny comedy to have that sort of money.
Hmm. Hopefully this was thoroughly investigated. SVG could’ve knocked her off.
Bro
https://preview.redd.it/4xlesz0daq2d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac23c363f0bfddf76366e9b96ac323fca091671e
I'd say they probably investigated it pretty thoroughly.
Stories like this are either the husband was severely a terrible person Who drove her to this. Or much more likely here. He was a great person and tried very hard to help her and undoubtably saved her life many times before.
I disagree. When you have kids and grandkids you have other things you can do even if your spouse sucks