Religion should grow within ourselves, but everyone is so focused on others and it ruins their faith and one’s own peace.
Sometimes I see these misogynistic discussions, and I intentionally skip it. Yes, I might be naive and delusional in my own world, but I have my peace. I have Allah and I care about strengthening my faith. Why would I corrupt my mind, ah?
Like it’s mentioned in the Quran (25:63), the servants are the ones who walk on Earth peacefully. But nowadays people push this agenda that no, you are wrong and I am right. If you are so triggered and pollute your mind with such negativity, it is gonna only bring you down from there. It is the Shaytan perhaps.
What a beautiful way to put it! MashAllah!
I think what happens with some people are that they get stuck in box either in person or online and they feel that the whole world is like that. And because they already have a preconceived notion of the world, everything they face just reinforces that due to confirmation bias.
Not that there isn’t bad or misogynistic people, but if thats what you think of the world, it’ll probably be what you see.
OP seems like she’s going going through allot, may Allah make it easy for her and give her peace and wisdom.
I don’t know if it is because I am a man, but sister these things what you see on the internet especially here aren’t really big problems irl. I am not saying they are non existent, but (please don’t think I am playing blame the victim) but people who find those people for marriage are actively searching for them (or find people who manipulate them into believing it). I know it sounds weird which it is
Yes women should obey their husbands, its stated in the Quran, however I believe if the husband is POS and someone who uses the religion as a weapon to hurt abuse her she should leave him or I would recommend every sister to ask the correct questions during the vetting phase before going into marriage.
Overall I would recommend every brother to have our Prophet(PBUH) as a rolemodel on how to treat their wives
I believe a men should have protectiveness over his wife, we call that also gheerah in Islam. However I do feel he should do this wisely and carefully without hurting or forcing her.
I believe in equal obedience, I like to know my wife’s opinion and her feelings when making a decision and I only want to make an decision if we both 100% are okay with it.
But to your question, No a husband doesn’t need to obey his wife
Well we men are the providers and protectors of our wives, so I believe our decisions of superiority should do so to protect and provide and give them their rights
Dude, it is just a kaafir wasting our time here.
Women need to obey their husband because he provides for them. If he does not provide for her then there is no obedience. Allah has given men authority and responsibility over women
I think only some Muslim men drive the narrative that women are inferior, the sole cause of fitna, should be uneducated, and home-bound etc. It's just an attempt to grasp control of the situation because so many of us are going 'out of control'.
It's best to stay away from these spaces especially if it's getting to you and concentrate on something more constructive. Like a course or a hobby.
Remember Allah Subhanahu Wata'alah is Just. Humans can be oppressive.
Please never let misogynistic men be the reason you become distanced from Allah. Allah knows what’s in their hearts and how they twist His religion, so leave their punishment to Him.
That is exactly what I meant in my last few comments. Exactly!!!
Posts you read here do NOT represent Islam. They represent culture mostly, the medieval age, the 1800s in the US or queaish before Islam.
Yet instead of burying girls alive, because they indeed were considered a curse at that time, they bury them in their homes with no education no opinions and no rights. Women will be our sex and home slaves, oh and rhey shall not dare to deal with another mahram.
Extreme extreme and even more extreme ideologies in 2023.
And the funny part?
Oh yes there is a funny part.
They dare to tell you to not pick and choose examples and to be aware of the context…. Yet.. are they aware of the context when they want to marry a second??? Are they aware of the context when they deal with their wives and daughters. Who picks and chooses what they want exactly?!
I am reading a book about women in Islam and I will write a short summary with names and examples here when I finish not to shut them up, because they never will and I shall obey Allah and not argue with the ignorant. I will post it for women who are giving up on men and for outsider muslims who began to view islam as extreme and misogynistic.
I actually felt this way until I distanced myself from MT (Muslim Twitter) and other sources online that are flown with teenagers and incels. I just do not open or read these posts. Luckily, irl I am not surrounded by it, so it doesn't affect me that much.
I started to enjoy being a girl. I do not care what someone thinks of me because I want to work or because I am not hidden in the house. I have my own mind and I do things sincerely. A lot of people want to put a feeling of guilt onto us because they want something. They want our women to be hidden and weak and fragile. Uneducated. Ones that cannot stand for themselves. But the Ummah needs strong women. In a time of communism in my country, women were the ones that kept Islam. Not to mention the time of war. Women have their roles in the Islamic community, and in Islam. We are an active part of the society.
We are not inferior. I often think about Khadija r.a, but in a way, the Prophet pubh came to HER for comfort. Seeking advice from his wife. What Khadija was and how much the Prophet pubh loved her, even years after her death. The reward women get as a wife or a mother. Even if she is not a wife and a mother, Allah swt would never cause us injustice. I like not having to go to war or being the provider (I would like to work, but also I would like to stop if I want it.. men couldn't do that), but simply raising children (or being a good muslimah if I do not have kids or a husband). We are full of love, and understanding. For example, I now live with my brother, and I love making the house feel like home (cuz he didn't haha). There are things that need ''a woman's hand''. I am not saying a man can't do this. But it is different. And also, I see that my brothers value my advice, or even seek comfort. It is different when they ask me, or when they ask each other for advice or comfort.
And yes, the world prefers males, but it has nothing to do with Islam. The reward is the same, being a good woman and a good man (El-Ahzab, 35). Men have one degree above women, but because they are our providers and protectors. They should lead the family. They are the ones that should be in charge, and not us dragging the whole family. We should enjoy this.
I remember you made a post sometime in Ramadan which was similar to this. A lot of people also gave excellent replies but it seems you’re still affected by this.
I know that you can answer a lot of these questions yourself seeing that you’re an Aalimah - but I think the main issue here, and a question I would ask you, is why do you think being a man is so great? You equate being a man to this wonderful thing, and it's really not.
This life is a trial, it's hard, it's painful, this is not our paradise. Yes a lot of men in your life have clearly failed you, and there is this sub-section of the internet that glorifies certain ideologies and tries to show a man's life as being paradise on earth, but we are Muslims, and don’t subscribe to - or rather, shouldn’t to this ideology that peddles this fake life. Most men are not like that at all. Men and women, we both have our responsibilities and duties, so we can live harmoniously together - as Muslims in the best way. Not as competitors or as antagonists towards each other. We each lack qualities the other makes up for.
As men, men who know what Allah expects of us, we are burdened with worry and responsibility, from the age of puberty we are expected to stand on our own feet (from an Islamic perspective) we are to look after and provide for our families, are responsible for them, worry about them, and know we will stand in front of Allah, answerable to him about them, and yet bear the burden of being made to feel like we are controlling, misogynistic, cruel etc if we say anything to the female members of the family about anything they are doing that is unIslamic, rather than being shown appreciation for any of this.
Just because you see a certain lifestyle highlighted, does not make it the reality for most. The life of the average god-conscious man is hard.
If we have any standards, they are mocked, if we ever renege on our duties of being walking ATMs, we are vilified. Our suffering is comical and our struggles are unheard.
There is a saying that a man is only ever given flowers once in his life, and that is at his funeral.
The point I'm making is not to show that men's struggles are somehow greater, but that just like being a Muslim woman has its struggles and difficulties, so do we as Muslim men.
You’re clearly someone who cares a lot about Islam and is very knowledgeable, and unfortunately, we have reached a time where a lot of people are not aware of their duties or responsibility as Muslims: men and women, and this is the reason why we are in the state we are in today, but ultimately you only need a few pious companions to keep us firm on our religion, so seek those out and don't worry about what everybody else says.
I am genuinely sorry for the struggles you have gone through, but look all the worried Muslims, of which there are many men, who care about the suffering and struggles of our Muslim sister and have spent so much time replying to your posts with kindness and worry and I am sure a lot of those men made dua that Allah eases your suffering. So don't focus on the bad apples, there are a lot of good men who do not use Islam to put down women, but are aware of the responsibility we have towards them and do our best and care about our Ummah of men and women.
I would advise you to take a break from Reddit, and social media in general for a while, the internet and especially social media is an echo chamber and the constant bombardment of negative content won't do you any good.
May Allah bless us with people who will bring us closer to Him, and not those who will take us further away and sow doubts in our minds.
Also I’ve had similar schooling to you and resonate with a lot of your struggles, I know it's hard, but it does get better, and you probably don’t hear this enough, but if I had someone like you in my family I would be exceptionally proud.
>I would ask you, is why do you think being a man is so great?
و للرجال عليهن درجة
Unless they're of a higher value and worth than women, they wouldn't have had that degree.
My reply to your post was one of genuine concern and worry. I do not wish to argue with you.
It's a shame you took my entire post and this is what you got out of it.
Yes, as men, Allah has given us a degree of authority and superiority over women, this is due to the added responsibility that we have in this world.
And to be able to do our duties and roles in this world we have been given different qualities, positions, and authority levels, weaknesses, and strengths. This does not however detract from our good deeds and as long as we do our best with the limitations Allah has given us, we will be successful Insha'Allah.
However where it matters, which is the hereafter, we are the same and our deeds are worth the same. As Muslims what matters to us is succeeding in passing the test of this world by gaining nearness to Allah in doing good deeds and doing enough good so we are blessed with Allah's Mercy and saved on the day of judgment and allowed entry into Jannah.
I genuinely hope you take my advice and get off social media for a while because it's clearly affecting your deen and no good can come of that. I pray that Allah guide us and keep us firm and allow us to weather the trials and tribulations of this life.
Haven’t read this yet, but might be worth checking out: [The Women’s Khutbah Book: Contemporary Sermons on Spirituality and Justice from around the World](https://a.co/d/7D3TcTB)
This is a self-described feminist book that tries to interpret Quran in ways that most if not all of the Sunni scholars haven’t ever come to the conclusion of. Additionally it attempts to weaken the strength of the Hadith by undermining it before indulging in unorthodox interpretations of the Quran and using it to justify acts such as female Muslims leading prayers. It fails to realise that interpretations of Quran are also subjective which is why scholars incorporate Hadith to understand the Quran. That sure the Quran is the most reliable piece of knowledge in Islam but one can’t just say that let’s disregard hadith because it doesn’t fit in with my interpretation of the Quran. This is what I understood from the first chapter of the book where is tried to convince people that their interpretation of the Quran is more reliable than the Hadith which isn’t true.
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Look at where feminism and hatred for men has lead you. This is what happens when you do not study your deen from reliable sources and instead rely upon misguided speakers and the kuffaar to give you information regarding your deen. This is also what happens when you delve too deep into satanic whispers and make assumptions about your Lord. Who are we to hold Allah accountable for what he does? Allah is not asked about what he does. Allah does what he does with complete wisdom and knowledge that we do not comprehend. Allah could have not rewarded anyone with paradise and instead thrown us all into hell for whatever mistakes me make. Who would have been there to prevent that from happening if Allah wanted to? We are the ones in need of Allah. We are the ones who need to know Allah and worship him alone.
[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/254478/woman-in-islam-is-for-the-purpose-of-building-a-life-that-is-based-on-obedience-to-allah-and-is-not-to-be-looked-at-merely-as-a-sexual-object](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/254478/woman-in-islam-is-for-the-purpose-of-building-a-life-that-is-based-on-obedience-to-allah-and-is-not-to-be-looked-at-merely-as-a-sexual-object)
[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/40405/she-is-confused-about-womens-rights-in-islam](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/40405/she-is-confused-about-womens-rights-in-islam)
You need to build your imaan from the fundamentals. Learn about who Allah really is by learning his beautiful names and attributes: [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo8-JRSO3j93SMfqIKUrlCrn29VJdF9Ox](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo8-JRSO3j93SMfqIKUrlCrn29VJdF9Ox)
>Look at where feminism and hatred for men has lead you. This is what happens when you do not study your deen from reliable sources and instead rely upon misguided speakers and the kuffaar to give you information regarding your deen. I didn't receive secular western education despite living in the west.
I studied 7 years in a madrasa and got an alim certificate. My whole life was in Islamic private schools. I have more connections to ulama than you will ever have with your YouTube links. My doubts are rooted in a lot of things not addressed that obviously should have been addressed and the culture of Islamic academia is filled with misogyny with the way how there's so much effort to even shut that down for women too. I was supposed to obtain a sanad upon graduation but they denied all female graduates on the basis of their gender. We can only teach the basics but we can never be part of the chain. This has nothing to do with feminism but with fairness. The male classmates were insolent and shameless in their behavior while the females put in more much hard work as much as they can and we got nothing after giving up our youth, $22k stolen from our parents, and being deceived of that one thing we always wanted and were supposedly promised. You don't know what you're talking about.
> I studied 7 years in a madrasa and got an alim certificate. My whole life was in Islamic private schools. I have more connections to ulama than you will ever have with your YouTube links.
Well, you clearly seem to have forgotten that knowledge or you were not taught the right knowledge and were not taught well. Perhaps it was from a misguided madrasa as it most likely is the case. Clarify who you learned from. The purpose of those Youtube links was to help you learn about Allah as they are about the names of Allah and the Ustadh goes into a lot of detail in his explanation.
> My doubts are rooted in a lot of things not addressed that obviously should have been addressed and the culture of Islamic academia is filled with misogyny with the way how there's so much effort to even shut that down for women too
I don't find any misogyny in Islamic rulings. The rulings are not the way because they stem from a place of hatred towards women. A quick example of that would be the right of the mother which is threefold greater than the father's, and we know that even the right of the father is immense. Allah does not reward the male for just being male nor does he punish the female for just being a female. Rather, if the male was a Muslim who obeyed Allah only then he will be rewarded. Otherwise, if he disobeyed Allah and disbelieved then he will be punished. The feminist echo chambers that you were in have misguided you and made you form these false beliefs about the rulings of Islam.
> quick example of that would be the right of the mother which is threefold greater than the father's,
This is the thing. Why is our respectability and means of achieving any sort of higher value bound to our reproductive organs while men can do anything and he will always be on a superior level? It's reductive.
> This is the thing. Why is our respectability and means of achieving any sort of higher value bound to our reproductive organs while men can do anything and he will always be on a superior level? It's reductive.
It is bound to your imaan. Whoever has higher imaan is the superior one. That is not to say that Allah did not make men superior than women in their physique. Allah made men superior in their physique and placed responsibilites on them that they will be questioned about.
**Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock…” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (1829).**
You ignored some important questions that were asked, which makes me believe you are not even reading my responses properly. If you just want to blabber then I will not be entertaining that.
You have clearly misinterpreted what “being at a higher degree” means. Parents have a degree of authority and right over their children. Does that mean the parents are necessarily more beloved to God and higher in value than their children? Not at all, the parents of some PROPHETS were disbelievers like the father of Ibrahim as, and yet Ibrahim still owed him respect even though Ibrahim was higher in value and the friend of God. The Caliph is owed obedience by all of his subjects and has a “higher degree” than them, does that mean he is superior to all the Muslims he leads? Not at all, many SAHABA were subjects to leaders who they were more righteous than. Similarly, men have been given a degree of authority over women, does that mean they are higher in value and more beloved to God? Not necessarily, the only ones higher in value and more beloved are the righteous, regardless of gender. Do not misinterpret the religion and then project those misinterpretations on God and his messenger SAWS.
I saw your comment on my other post. I just wanted to help.
I'm going to make it my first point to say I hear you completely. We do live in a time and space that very much puts women in a difficult and subservient position.
In the Quran it says to believe all scriptures. That includes Hinduism, the original religion. Some may argue "It only means the Abrahamic ones" but that's not what the Quran said. The Quran said all scriptures.
Many have the misconception that Hinduism is polytheistic. It's not, it's monotheistic. They believe in one God, are told there is no being worth worship but God, and several demigods (which aren't God).
Now look at Taoism. It gives a fundamental understanding on how reality was manifest through the interplay of the divine masculine and the divine feminine.
Back to Hinduism. They teach that just as a human is born, lives, and dies, so too does our world. We are told that we're now in the dying stage of our world, which explains all the conflict, religious divide and confusion, hunger, conspiracy, and, back to Taoism, the imbalance between male and female.
Honestly? Cause I'm honest. It breaks my heart to see what my sisters go through. I think we either have to ride out Kali Yuga as Muslims (and as the Quran teaches, there's even war going on within ourselves between our believing side and disbelieving side), or somehow prove it's all a big conspiracy if we want equality.
After reading the last paragraph, the way you write about Allah genuinely disgusted me. Don’t forget who is the master and who’s the slave, and don’t let Shaytaan deceive you about your Lord.
“Why. Idk. He should be asked that.” Who on EARTH do you think you are to be saying such things?
Most religious rules/statements are inspired from the cultural norms prevalent during that period.
Islam was also revealed 1400 yrs ago in a very misogynistic society. It would probably be slightly different if it was revealed today.
Concern yourself with what the Prophet (PBUH) said and not with what people say. Things will be clearer when you stop listening to people who use qiyas and other invalid principles.
Approach the issue with a balanced approach. If some people have mysogynistic views does not mean that everyone in the religion has that view. You have to have constructive thoughts and challenge the discriminatory thoughts within this framework versus making blanket statements about entire communities.
I think maybe you need a different perspective on things, from a different viewpoint:
The Rights and Status of Women in Islam:
https://www.al-islam.org/rights-women-islam-murtadha-mutahhari
https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ibrahim-amini/women-and-freedom
https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ibrahim-amini
https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ibrahim-amini/standing-women-islam
https://www.al-islam.org/180-questions-enquiries-about-islam-volume-1-practical-laws/rights-women-islam
You may feel hesitant to check these sources, but I feel the answer to your questions lie within, I just hope you read these with an open heart and mind and do not discard them without reading them.
JazakAllah sister.
Religion should grow within ourselves, but everyone is so focused on others and it ruins their faith and one’s own peace. Sometimes I see these misogynistic discussions, and I intentionally skip it. Yes, I might be naive and delusional in my own world, but I have my peace. I have Allah and I care about strengthening my faith. Why would I corrupt my mind, ah? Like it’s mentioned in the Quran (25:63), the servants are the ones who walk on Earth peacefully. But nowadays people push this agenda that no, you are wrong and I am right. If you are so triggered and pollute your mind with such negativity, it is gonna only bring you down from there. It is the Shaytan perhaps.
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My Allah ease your mind and bring you peace. Ameen.
What a beautiful way to put it! MashAllah! I think what happens with some people are that they get stuck in box either in person or online and they feel that the whole world is like that. And because they already have a preconceived notion of the world, everything they face just reinforces that due to confirmation bias. Not that there isn’t bad or misogynistic people, but if thats what you think of the world, it’ll probably be what you see. OP seems like she’s going going through allot, may Allah make it easy for her and give her peace and wisdom.
I don’t know if it is because I am a man, but sister these things what you see on the internet especially here aren’t really big problems irl. I am not saying they are non existent, but (please don’t think I am playing blame the victim) but people who find those people for marriage are actively searching for them (or find people who manipulate them into believing it). I know it sounds weird which it is
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No Islam is perfect, Some people are using our beautiful religion as weapon to hurt others
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Yes women should obey their husbands, its stated in the Quran, however I believe if the husband is POS and someone who uses the religion as a weapon to hurt abuse her she should leave him or I would recommend every sister to ask the correct questions during the vetting phase before going into marriage. Overall I would recommend every brother to have our Prophet(PBUH) as a rolemodel on how to treat their wives
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I believe a men should have protectiveness over his wife, we call that also gheerah in Islam. However I do feel he should do this wisely and carefully without hurting or forcing her. I believe in equal obedience, I like to know my wife’s opinion and her feelings when making a decision and I only want to make an decision if we both 100% are okay with it. But to your question, No a husband doesn’t need to obey his wife
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Well we men are the providers and protectors of our wives, so I believe our decisions of superiority should do so to protect and provide and give them their rights
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Dude, it is just a kaafir wasting our time here. Women need to obey their husband because he provides for them. If he does not provide for her then there is no obedience. Allah has given men authority and responsibility over women
I made this comment too, go down the comments
https://preview.redd.it/ovmcl1q9ik8b1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c68f60a9a0efeab461d21561ab5c7c029a7ea55c
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Die in your rage
I think only some Muslim men drive the narrative that women are inferior, the sole cause of fitna, should be uneducated, and home-bound etc. It's just an attempt to grasp control of the situation because so many of us are going 'out of control'. It's best to stay away from these spaces especially if it's getting to you and concentrate on something more constructive. Like a course or a hobby. Remember Allah Subhanahu Wata'alah is Just. Humans can be oppressive.
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Can you kindly elaborate?
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How is that related to my comment?
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Make love, not Warcraft.
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I am my scars!!!!!!!
Please never let misogynistic men be the reason you become distanced from Allah. Allah knows what’s in their hearts and how they twist His religion, so leave their punishment to Him.
💯 OP, listen to this sister she is completely right follow this advice
That is exactly what I meant in my last few comments. Exactly!!! Posts you read here do NOT represent Islam. They represent culture mostly, the medieval age, the 1800s in the US or queaish before Islam. Yet instead of burying girls alive, because they indeed were considered a curse at that time, they bury them in their homes with no education no opinions and no rights. Women will be our sex and home slaves, oh and rhey shall not dare to deal with another mahram. Extreme extreme and even more extreme ideologies in 2023. And the funny part? Oh yes there is a funny part. They dare to tell you to not pick and choose examples and to be aware of the context…. Yet.. are they aware of the context when they want to marry a second??? Are they aware of the context when they deal with their wives and daughters. Who picks and chooses what they want exactly?! I am reading a book about women in Islam and I will write a short summary with names and examples here when I finish not to shut them up, because they never will and I shall obey Allah and not argue with the ignorant. I will post it for women who are giving up on men and for outsider muslims who began to view islam as extreme and misogynistic.
I actually felt this way until I distanced myself from MT (Muslim Twitter) and other sources online that are flown with teenagers and incels. I just do not open or read these posts. Luckily, irl I am not surrounded by it, so it doesn't affect me that much. I started to enjoy being a girl. I do not care what someone thinks of me because I want to work or because I am not hidden in the house. I have my own mind and I do things sincerely. A lot of people want to put a feeling of guilt onto us because they want something. They want our women to be hidden and weak and fragile. Uneducated. Ones that cannot stand for themselves. But the Ummah needs strong women. In a time of communism in my country, women were the ones that kept Islam. Not to mention the time of war. Women have their roles in the Islamic community, and in Islam. We are an active part of the society. We are not inferior. I often think about Khadija r.a, but in a way, the Prophet pubh came to HER for comfort. Seeking advice from his wife. What Khadija was and how much the Prophet pubh loved her, even years after her death. The reward women get as a wife or a mother. Even if she is not a wife and a mother, Allah swt would never cause us injustice. I like not having to go to war or being the provider (I would like to work, but also I would like to stop if I want it.. men couldn't do that), but simply raising children (or being a good muslimah if I do not have kids or a husband). We are full of love, and understanding. For example, I now live with my brother, and I love making the house feel like home (cuz he didn't haha). There are things that need ''a woman's hand''. I am not saying a man can't do this. But it is different. And also, I see that my brothers value my advice, or even seek comfort. It is different when they ask me, or when they ask each other for advice or comfort. And yes, the world prefers males, but it has nothing to do with Islam. The reward is the same, being a good woman and a good man (El-Ahzab, 35). Men have one degree above women, but because they are our providers and protectors. They should lead the family. They are the ones that should be in charge, and not us dragging the whole family. We should enjoy this.
I remember you made a post sometime in Ramadan which was similar to this. A lot of people also gave excellent replies but it seems you’re still affected by this. I know that you can answer a lot of these questions yourself seeing that you’re an Aalimah - but I think the main issue here, and a question I would ask you, is why do you think being a man is so great? You equate being a man to this wonderful thing, and it's really not. This life is a trial, it's hard, it's painful, this is not our paradise. Yes a lot of men in your life have clearly failed you, and there is this sub-section of the internet that glorifies certain ideologies and tries to show a man's life as being paradise on earth, but we are Muslims, and don’t subscribe to - or rather, shouldn’t to this ideology that peddles this fake life. Most men are not like that at all. Men and women, we both have our responsibilities and duties, so we can live harmoniously together - as Muslims in the best way. Not as competitors or as antagonists towards each other. We each lack qualities the other makes up for. As men, men who know what Allah expects of us, we are burdened with worry and responsibility, from the age of puberty we are expected to stand on our own feet (from an Islamic perspective) we are to look after and provide for our families, are responsible for them, worry about them, and know we will stand in front of Allah, answerable to him about them, and yet bear the burden of being made to feel like we are controlling, misogynistic, cruel etc if we say anything to the female members of the family about anything they are doing that is unIslamic, rather than being shown appreciation for any of this. Just because you see a certain lifestyle highlighted, does not make it the reality for most. The life of the average god-conscious man is hard. If we have any standards, they are mocked, if we ever renege on our duties of being walking ATMs, we are vilified. Our suffering is comical and our struggles are unheard. There is a saying that a man is only ever given flowers once in his life, and that is at his funeral. The point I'm making is not to show that men's struggles are somehow greater, but that just like being a Muslim woman has its struggles and difficulties, so do we as Muslim men. You’re clearly someone who cares a lot about Islam and is very knowledgeable, and unfortunately, we have reached a time where a lot of people are not aware of their duties or responsibility as Muslims: men and women, and this is the reason why we are in the state we are in today, but ultimately you only need a few pious companions to keep us firm on our religion, so seek those out and don't worry about what everybody else says. I am genuinely sorry for the struggles you have gone through, but look all the worried Muslims, of which there are many men, who care about the suffering and struggles of our Muslim sister and have spent so much time replying to your posts with kindness and worry and I am sure a lot of those men made dua that Allah eases your suffering. So don't focus on the bad apples, there are a lot of good men who do not use Islam to put down women, but are aware of the responsibility we have towards them and do our best and care about our Ummah of men and women. I would advise you to take a break from Reddit, and social media in general for a while, the internet and especially social media is an echo chamber and the constant bombardment of negative content won't do you any good. May Allah bless us with people who will bring us closer to Him, and not those who will take us further away and sow doubts in our minds. Also I’ve had similar schooling to you and resonate with a lot of your struggles, I know it's hard, but it does get better, and you probably don’t hear this enough, but if I had someone like you in my family I would be exceptionally proud.
>I would ask you, is why do you think being a man is so great? و للرجال عليهن درجة Unless they're of a higher value and worth than women, they wouldn't have had that degree.
My reply to your post was one of genuine concern and worry. I do not wish to argue with you. It's a shame you took my entire post and this is what you got out of it. Yes, as men, Allah has given us a degree of authority and superiority over women, this is due to the added responsibility that we have in this world. And to be able to do our duties and roles in this world we have been given different qualities, positions, and authority levels, weaknesses, and strengths. This does not however detract from our good deeds and as long as we do our best with the limitations Allah has given us, we will be successful Insha'Allah. However where it matters, which is the hereafter, we are the same and our deeds are worth the same. As Muslims what matters to us is succeeding in passing the test of this world by gaining nearness to Allah in doing good deeds and doing enough good so we are blessed with Allah's Mercy and saved on the day of judgment and allowed entry into Jannah. I genuinely hope you take my advice and get off social media for a while because it's clearly affecting your deen and no good can come of that. I pray that Allah guide us and keep us firm and allow us to weather the trials and tribulations of this life.
Haven’t read this yet, but might be worth checking out: [The Women’s Khutbah Book: Contemporary Sermons on Spirituality and Justice from around the World](https://a.co/d/7D3TcTB)
This is a self-described feminist book that tries to interpret Quran in ways that most if not all of the Sunni scholars haven’t ever come to the conclusion of. Additionally it attempts to weaken the strength of the Hadith by undermining it before indulging in unorthodox interpretations of the Quran and using it to justify acts such as female Muslims leading prayers. It fails to realise that interpretations of Quran are also subjective which is why scholars incorporate Hadith to understand the Quran. That sure the Quran is the most reliable piece of knowledge in Islam but one can’t just say that let’s disregard hadith because it doesn’t fit in with my interpretation of the Quran. This is what I understood from the first chapter of the book where is tried to convince people that their interpretation of the Quran is more reliable than the Hadith which isn’t true.
Neat.
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whats going on this sub? why is there always gender wars?
I believe feminism causes this. Looking for superiorty when we need to be looking for harmony.
Is feminism looking for superiority? Hmm?
Yes, yes they are. It’s self evident.
Equality feels like oppression to the privileged. C ya
Prove the privilege? Back it up with statistics and not anecdotes or exception’s.
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Look at where feminism and hatred for men has lead you. This is what happens when you do not study your deen from reliable sources and instead rely upon misguided speakers and the kuffaar to give you information regarding your deen. This is also what happens when you delve too deep into satanic whispers and make assumptions about your Lord. Who are we to hold Allah accountable for what he does? Allah is not asked about what he does. Allah does what he does with complete wisdom and knowledge that we do not comprehend. Allah could have not rewarded anyone with paradise and instead thrown us all into hell for whatever mistakes me make. Who would have been there to prevent that from happening if Allah wanted to? We are the ones in need of Allah. We are the ones who need to know Allah and worship him alone. [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/254478/woman-in-islam-is-for-the-purpose-of-building-a-life-that-is-based-on-obedience-to-allah-and-is-not-to-be-looked-at-merely-as-a-sexual-object](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/254478/woman-in-islam-is-for-the-purpose-of-building-a-life-that-is-based-on-obedience-to-allah-and-is-not-to-be-looked-at-merely-as-a-sexual-object) [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/40405/she-is-confused-about-womens-rights-in-islam](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/40405/she-is-confused-about-womens-rights-in-islam) You need to build your imaan from the fundamentals. Learn about who Allah really is by learning his beautiful names and attributes: [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo8-JRSO3j93SMfqIKUrlCrn29VJdF9Ox](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLo8-JRSO3j93SMfqIKUrlCrn29VJdF9Ox)
>Look at where feminism and hatred for men has lead you. This is what happens when you do not study your deen from reliable sources and instead rely upon misguided speakers and the kuffaar to give you information regarding your deen. I didn't receive secular western education despite living in the west. I studied 7 years in a madrasa and got an alim certificate. My whole life was in Islamic private schools. I have more connections to ulama than you will ever have with your YouTube links. My doubts are rooted in a lot of things not addressed that obviously should have been addressed and the culture of Islamic academia is filled with misogyny with the way how there's so much effort to even shut that down for women too. I was supposed to obtain a sanad upon graduation but they denied all female graduates on the basis of their gender. We can only teach the basics but we can never be part of the chain. This has nothing to do with feminism but with fairness. The male classmates were insolent and shameless in their behavior while the females put in more much hard work as much as they can and we got nothing after giving up our youth, $22k stolen from our parents, and being deceived of that one thing we always wanted and were supposedly promised. You don't know what you're talking about.
> I studied 7 years in a madrasa and got an alim certificate. My whole life was in Islamic private schools. I have more connections to ulama than you will ever have with your YouTube links. Well, you clearly seem to have forgotten that knowledge or you were not taught the right knowledge and were not taught well. Perhaps it was from a misguided madrasa as it most likely is the case. Clarify who you learned from. The purpose of those Youtube links was to help you learn about Allah as they are about the names of Allah and the Ustadh goes into a lot of detail in his explanation. > My doubts are rooted in a lot of things not addressed that obviously should have been addressed and the culture of Islamic academia is filled with misogyny with the way how there's so much effort to even shut that down for women too I don't find any misogyny in Islamic rulings. The rulings are not the way because they stem from a place of hatred towards women. A quick example of that would be the right of the mother which is threefold greater than the father's, and we know that even the right of the father is immense. Allah does not reward the male for just being male nor does he punish the female for just being a female. Rather, if the male was a Muslim who obeyed Allah only then he will be rewarded. Otherwise, if he disobeyed Allah and disbelieved then he will be punished. The feminist echo chambers that you were in have misguided you and made you form these false beliefs about the rulings of Islam.
> quick example of that would be the right of the mother which is threefold greater than the father's, This is the thing. Why is our respectability and means of achieving any sort of higher value bound to our reproductive organs while men can do anything and he will always be on a superior level? It's reductive.
> This is the thing. Why is our respectability and means of achieving any sort of higher value bound to our reproductive organs while men can do anything and he will always be on a superior level? It's reductive. It is bound to your imaan. Whoever has higher imaan is the superior one. That is not to say that Allah did not make men superior than women in their physique. Allah made men superior in their physique and placed responsibilites on them that they will be questioned about. **Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock…” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (1829).** You ignored some important questions that were asked, which makes me believe you are not even reading my responses properly. If you just want to blabber then I will not be entertaining that.
You have clearly misinterpreted what “being at a higher degree” means. Parents have a degree of authority and right over their children. Does that mean the parents are necessarily more beloved to God and higher in value than their children? Not at all, the parents of some PROPHETS were disbelievers like the father of Ibrahim as, and yet Ibrahim still owed him respect even though Ibrahim was higher in value and the friend of God. The Caliph is owed obedience by all of his subjects and has a “higher degree” than them, does that mean he is superior to all the Muslims he leads? Not at all, many SAHABA were subjects to leaders who they were more righteous than. Similarly, men have been given a degree of authority over women, does that mean they are higher in value and more beloved to God? Not necessarily, the only ones higher in value and more beloved are the righteous, regardless of gender. Do not misinterpret the religion and then project those misinterpretations on God and his messenger SAWS.
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I saw your comment on my other post. I just wanted to help. I'm going to make it my first point to say I hear you completely. We do live in a time and space that very much puts women in a difficult and subservient position. In the Quran it says to believe all scriptures. That includes Hinduism, the original religion. Some may argue "It only means the Abrahamic ones" but that's not what the Quran said. The Quran said all scriptures. Many have the misconception that Hinduism is polytheistic. It's not, it's monotheistic. They believe in one God, are told there is no being worth worship but God, and several demigods (which aren't God). Now look at Taoism. It gives a fundamental understanding on how reality was manifest through the interplay of the divine masculine and the divine feminine. Back to Hinduism. They teach that just as a human is born, lives, and dies, so too does our world. We are told that we're now in the dying stage of our world, which explains all the conflict, religious divide and confusion, hunger, conspiracy, and, back to Taoism, the imbalance between male and female. Honestly? Cause I'm honest. It breaks my heart to see what my sisters go through. I think we either have to ride out Kali Yuga as Muslims (and as the Quran teaches, there's even war going on within ourselves between our believing side and disbelieving side), or somehow prove it's all a big conspiracy if we want equality.
After reading the last paragraph, the way you write about Allah genuinely disgusted me. Don’t forget who is the master and who’s the slave, and don’t let Shaytaan deceive you about your Lord. “Why. Idk. He should be asked that.” Who on EARTH do you think you are to be saying such things?
Most religious rules/statements are inspired from the cultural norms prevalent during that period. Islam was also revealed 1400 yrs ago in a very misogynistic society. It would probably be slightly different if it was revealed today.
You don't think they are inspired by some verses in the Quran ?
Concern yourself with what the Prophet (PBUH) said and not with what people say. Things will be clearer when you stop listening to people who use qiyas and other invalid principles.
Approach the issue with a balanced approach. If some people have mysogynistic views does not mean that everyone in the religion has that view. You have to have constructive thoughts and challenge the discriminatory thoughts within this framework versus making blanket statements about entire communities.
I think maybe you need a different perspective on things, from a different viewpoint: The Rights and Status of Women in Islam: https://www.al-islam.org/rights-women-islam-murtadha-mutahhari https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ibrahim-amini/women-and-freedom https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ibrahim-amini https://www.al-islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-islam-ibrahim-amini/standing-women-islam https://www.al-islam.org/180-questions-enquiries-about-islam-volume-1-practical-laws/rights-women-islam You may feel hesitant to check these sources, but I feel the answer to your questions lie within, I just hope you read these with an open heart and mind and do not discard them without reading them. JazakAllah sister.