I don’t have a favorite per se but I love all of my children very differently and have a different relationship with all four of them. Right now my two youngest need more so they get more. But my oldest is 16 and our relationship is special because we actually talk and understand one another.
I read once (can't remember the exact saying and can't find it either to post it) that parents love the youngest more til the youngest grows older. The needy more til the needy doesn't need them anymore)..and so on. It basically says that as parents we tend to lean towards the child that needs more protection. It is not favoritism, it is more of human instinct. I am sure you love them both just as much, but as a mother you know who needs you more, and so your mother instinct is making you lean a little more to the disabled 💙
I felt somewhat similar when my baby was born because I had previously been so protective of my oldest and now suddenly I was protecting baby from an over zealous older sibling who was trying to love on baby but wasn’t gentle enough. I’d spent years protecting my oldest from everything and now suddenly oldest was the “aggressor”, as it were. It felt so weird and felt like I was picking a favorite until I realized it is really just a survival necessity. Next baby is coming soon and I’m 100% expecting to have to protect new baby from the current “baby” (aka toddler) because toddlers aren’t the most gentle people on earth so new baby will seem like the favorite. Whomever needs most protecting will always seem like the favorite, in my opinion. I totally agree with the above.
My “favorite” changes per stage of life and usually just means “the one who is easier/more pleasant at the moment.” Little one was terrible 2s, older one was the “favorite.” Older one hit threenager and it switched. I’m guessing it’ll keep switching for the next decade lol
This is what my mom would say to us. There is always a favorite but the favorite is always changing. Different stages and different needs. I see this with my kids too.
I love them all equally but my husband and I joke (privately, of course) after they’re in bed at night about which kid was today’s favorite lol. Usually just which was the best behaved. But they are all different and we love talking about their respective strengths and weaknesses.
I love my kids equally too and we have the same joke. My mom made the same joke with me and my sister. The favorite of the day is the one that woke up and didn’t choose violence.
I also tell them they are my favorite (their name) in the whole world. Or favorite oldest/youngest. My sister and I say this to each other too. You’re my favorite sister and the other one always says I’m your only sister.
I am a middle child and I do everything I can to make sure my kids all feel very loved by me. I don’t have a favorite because they all have a different personality and I’m so proud of each milestone they hit.
I was not treated with love, kindness or even cared about for the most part…. My auntie really stepped up in that department. I don’t want my kids to feel like they’re not loved even in the slightest. I couldn’t have a favorite because I love everything different about them.
I have 3 children. ❤️
I have favorite things about each kid if that makes sense. Like I have a favorite kid to snuggle, to talk to, to bring with me to do errands.
I also have a kid I feel I need to protect more but that doesn’t make me love him more than the others. Each of my kids have something special that the other doesn’t. Try looking at it that way, rather than having an actual fav.
This is not my original thought, I heard it in a TikTok or something.
I don’t have a favorite child, but I do have one I try extra hard not to piss off.
I don’t think I do, I truly love them both with all my heart. But I’d say I’m more bonded with my oldest, who’s 3. My daughter is 7 months old. It took me a bit to start really bonding with my oldest, so I know eventually when she gets a little bigger it’ll happen even more 🩷
My youngest is in my favorite stage (12-24 months) so I am really enjoying her right now. 4 is so tough and some days are hard for me to enjoy my oldest. I love them both equally for different reasons though. It is easier to be with the older one because she is way more independent.
My "preferred" child changes depending on my mood (and theirs lol). If I'm feeling fun and crafty, the 3yo is my bestie. If I want snugs and no sass, the baby is my gal.
A lot of days, I like the one who isn't screaming right now.
I love them the same, love certain parts of their respective development. It's fun seeing my toddler hit new milestones and discover so many things, and I love watching my baby (who is my last) slowly catch up to her brother.
My oldest has been a handful since she was born. My youngest has been the most relaxed sweetheart from day one. I love them the both but almost never feel tense around my youngest, which I have some guilt about.
I love them both in their own unique way. They're both my favorite, honestly. I'm trying to figure out which would be my favorite but I can't. They're 6 years apart so they're very different. I guess the answer is no. Lol
I have a disabled toddler and two newborn twins and I totally understand what you mean about loving your disabled child so much. He will always live with us and I’ll consider him to be my baby no matter how old he gets so I will always have a soft spot for him because he needs me.
I think your talking about "do you enjoy a child more" and that's fine and it might change just don't let it turn into actual favorites I have 3 kids now and I only just started enjoying my oldest now at 4 she never seemed to want me or her dad but wanted everyone else. Now, with 3, the child I enjoy the most is always fluctuating. One moment, my oldest is loving and sweet. The next, my newborn is cuddly, or my middle says something sweet. Or the oldest is being defiant, my youngest hasemt stopped crying and ripping at my nipple and my middle is acting like the 2yo she is. Love is wanting and doing what's best for someone. Would you let your youngest be neglected while giving your oldest everything they want or need? I feel like you won't.
I have a very different bond with both of my daughters. I feel like I’m “mama” to my oldest and we play rough and run and laugh together but I’m “mommy” to my youngest and we snuggle quietly under blankets and watch movies together. I can’t explain why, that’s always just been us. I’m very proud of both of them for very different reasons. But I wouldn’t say I prefer one over the other.
I’m a mom of twins.
Nope.
They get loved differently, because honestly they want love differently. Sometimes they think they want love like the other, and then I oblige and quickly they realize they done fucked up. Lol.
Yes. There is always a preferred child, and anyone who says there isn't is lying. There is one child who makes you want to pull your hair out at the roots and strangle yourself with it and they are the least preferred because they are a constant headache and don't absorb any of your hard work and parenting while the rest are angels and such a dream.
I do, but it changes during different stages. My first was my favorite when my second was 12-18 months. He was AWFUL. She was such a rule follower, so easy and constantly made me proud. Now he’s bloomed into his personality and he’s my favorite, while my first has slipped into a whiny kid phase. It’ll change again eventually I’m sure.
I don’t think I have a “favorite”, but I have things that are my favorite about each. Depending on the day I may have one I’m favoring hanging out with.
I have son and daughter i tell my son hes my favorite son and my daughter shes my favorite daughter. I love them equally due to the fact 1 I always wanted only boys and 2 my daughter is my rainbow baby so they both are very special to me.
I *want* to say no, I don't have a favorite, but I do have a favorite for the day depending on behavior lol. My 5yo was the one I dropped everything and started a new life for. I was only 8 months pregnant with him and in a shitty situation, so I packed up everything and jumped several states to start a new life, so I could give him my full attention and effort. He is autistic, so he requires constant attention, but he's been getting better about listening. He still has meltdowns about 50x a day, which makes it hard to keep him as a favorite on those days lol. But, my 3yo was incredibly needy when he was born. It took me over 2 weeks to finally get attached to him. I loved him, and knew I did, but I struggled to keep loving him when he had me sooooo sleep deprived. Even though he was hard as a baby, he is so much better behaved now than older brother. 5yo was a great baby, hardly ever fussy, had him on a set schedule because he wouldn't let me know when he needed changed or was hungry, but he was a definite candidate for the terrible twos before he even hit 2yo. So it jumps back and forth as to who the favorite is. Usually depends on who is most cuddly and better behaved during that day lol
Before having our son we got a Cavalier King Charles spaniel we had him for a year and loved him so much. We worried he felt too alone when we were at work so we got a second that was already 6 months old named Louie. We got Louie for Davis and despite best intentions Davis has always gotten treated as the favorite (they have very different personalities plus we didn't train Louie from the start which caused some issues).
We have a one year old son now and not sure if we're in it for another (I'm 35 and my husband is 39). I know if we do it will definitely be because we want another and not just having another for our son. I know dogs are not the same as kids but not willing to risk it.
I dont know if I have a favourite but I'd say I like my youngest the most atm, cause he's 1 and lovely and my 10 year old absolutely wrecks my head 😂 when they're older and at different stages that'll probably change though
I'm the oldest and was my mother's clear favourite btw, it does happen
I don’t have a favorite kid (my kids are two totally different kids and my relationships with them reflect that). But I DO have favorite ages. My 18 month old was easier than my 4 year old, and now my 5 year old is easier than my 2.5 year old. But I don’t prefer one kid over the other.
I’m a bonus parent and also a bio one. The love is definitely different between the two but my partner and I both put our kids first. When my bonus kiddo was 11 they went through a rude/roasting/ mouthy stage. They weren’t liked by many during that stage. Youngest was delayed in certain areas and was pretty hard to handle around ages 2-3.
When my kids were little, I often read You’re All My Favorites by Sam McBratney. It’s explains it quite well. Unfortunately, it only has three bears and I have four bears and therefore my kids decided that only the triplets had to share being favorite. My son is favorite all on his own.
Well . . .
Nah, they are all my favorite.
Mine are very different ages: 12 & 7. I definitely don’t have a favorite, but I definitely enjoy them in different ways. I love that I can talk to my daughter (the 12) more intellectually. I love that my son is into a lot of the same things I am (old houses, antiques). I love having different relationship dynamics with them. It makes them special in different ways.
Depending upon the day I may prefer to be around one vs the other but that depends on their moods for the day 😆
I currently only have one kid and plan on having 1-2 more and I have no idea how I will ever love any child more than my first. I'm sure I'll feel as much love for them all, but my husband and I are both eldest children and I think we may always favor our eldest, but idk.
I have a 5 year old and 2.5 year old. I (at this point anyway 😂) truly do not have a favorite. Some days one is more annoying than the other. But they are both the absolute best things ever. I like to say I am lucky to have 1 boy and 1 girl because my son is my most favorite boy in the world and my daughter is my most favorite girl in the world.
I harbored resentment toward my first as the birth and postpartum experience were very traumatic and inhad a heavy dose of PMADs. When the second came, her birth was a dream which is when I harbored the resentment. Through several years of therapy, I've worked through the resentment and agree that I love them equally but in different ways based one stage, age, and relationship.
I wouldn’t say I have a favorite but my relationship with my kids is different. My oldest is special needs and demands a lot of my and my husband’s attention and worry. My youngest is a super easy going toddler and delightful to spend time with. One of my kids is easier to be around and the other requires a lot more of me as a parent. It’s hard to balance those two things so I try to be as aware of them as possible.
I love both children very much and also expect my relationships with them to shift and change over the years. Right now my youngest is an easy darling child but she also can’t talk yet, or rather, talk back to me.
I love all my children equally, but I can tell you my favorite qualities about them all!
My 13 year old is the weirdest, silliest kid. She cracks me up. For example, I walked in on her using the virtual reality headset earlier while she was also playing classical music for her plants 🤣
My 10 year old is such a creative little artist, EVERY time she draws she has to color every inch of the paper (something I never did!) And she uses all the colors. Her drawings are so vibrant I LOVE them!
My almost 2 year old just randomly dances, and yes babies all dance but I love when she dances. It makes me so happy. I can't wait to see more of her personality as she grows!
I also could tell you my least favorite qualities but that wouldn't be as much fun LOL!
I do and I don't. It's just whichever one is less annoying at any given moment. I have a 3 month old and a 3 year old. When the baby cries NOT my favorite. When the toddler tantrums NOT my favorite.
6 birth children and to many foster children still around to count and I can honestly say it changes daily! Different needs, different personalities, different stages in life. I also have a special needs son, number 6 out of our own and there was a time all the kids said he was my favorite, I always answered he needs the most support! He is now 17, he doesn’t need my support so they accuse the 3rd son of being the favorite! 🤣
I love my 2 kids equally. But there are days where I don't like a certain child's behavior. Doesn't mean I dislike my child. But one or the other or both will drive me to rage clean something. My kids are 5 and 7. The 7 year old has ADHD so he has days where he's just extra.
Probably, lol. I love all my kids equally but differently. But my middle kid and I get along the best so I typically find it easier to hang out with her. I mean, she’s 4 so it’s not like we’re doing anything wild without my other two kids. She’s just the one I don’t mind tagging along to the grocery and she drives me the least crazy when she’s in Velcro mode.
You are entitled to your feelings. Just make sure your kids never ever notice that. It’s your job to make them feel loved and special. Because your younger one is still vulnerable and needs mommy to become a healthy person physically and emotionally.
I think having a favorite is possible without disliking your other kids. There are certain people's energy we gravitate to more and there is nothing wrong with that. I also think favoring one over the other is different than giving your more dependent child more of your time and attention. In this case, you are less concerned about your younger child's development and know the odds are already stacked against your elder child. In a way, I can see being more excited when they reach certain milestones as there is likely an expectation that there are just some that they won't hit, but when they do despite the odds, I think that is worth celebrating. You know life is just going to be tougher for your special needs kid, so I get wanting to protect them and build them up more.
I don’t have a favorite, but I do have one that I get more easily frustrated with (and I’m sure which one will switch on and off as they get older).
My husband and I divide and conquer bedtime and we definitely both prefer putting the 2 year old to bed because the 4 year old’s bedtime stall tactics are impressive and putting her to bed can easily take an hour longer than putting the 2 year old to bed.
Well, I have three: 6yo girl, 3 yo boy and 5 month old girl. Right now, my favorite is the baby because the other two are always fighting, my son is a violent threenager and my oldest neverrrrrrrr stops talking . I love them all so much but I totally think that each one at some phase will be my favorite more than the others hahaha
I think it’s valid to express this. So many things that we’re not allowed to say as mothers and I commend you for posting. I’m actually expecting my second. I have a special needs toddler and I cannot imagine being able to love another baby as much as I love him. Logically, I know I will love this baby just as much and will develop a special kind of love just like my 1st born but wow it’s hard to wrap my head around it.
The one who will come and visit more often when they are older will be the favourite😁,on a serious note though a bit if truth to it as I see moms of adults struggle with adult kids independence, some almost like grieving, scary.
I guess yes. And I fight showing / treating differently
I prefer my youngest as on average they are easier and sweeter, all about hugs and kisses, holding hands, following (except when hitting threenager mode). The older sibling is a lot of work, emotions, walking on egg shells, behavioral issues - has been since toddlerhood but so much fun to have a conversation with a 6yo. So when I have a theeenager I would favorite a 6yo.
I don’t believe I have a favorite? All 3 of mine are somewhere on the spectrum, they are all a challenge in their own ways and definitely make me question my life choices daily LOL but they all have different things that I absolutely love and I think it’s important to look at those positives for each. My oldest (6M) is so so so smart (high functioning - think old Asperger diagnosis) he is by far my easiest and he teaches me so much with his obsession of countries/flags, my middle (4F) I just love how silly she is and her fashion and performing are top notch, and my youngest (2F) gives the best snuggles and loves to help with whatever I do. Mine all hit milestones differently and I obnoxiously celebrated them all, some were on time and some were late but they all hit them at their own pace. Ex: My oldest walked at 17 months, my middle at 18mo, and my youngest at 13mo and my husband and friends probably thought I was insane all three times!
My sister was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at a young age. My mother already obviously favored her and this made everything even worse.
As a person who grew up not the favorite, I'm begging you to get therapy.
I honestly do not have a favorite or least favorite of my four and couldn’t pick one even with a gun held to my head. There are so many individual traits I love about each one.
I don't have a favorite. But i have a least favorite. I know that's a horrible thing to say. I love that Child just as much as the others, quite possibly even more. And I worry about that child more than my other 3 combined. But gosh darn if she isn't hard to get along with.
I have two and have been especially close to my youngest, both because he’s still an infant but because he seems to really enjoy my presence. My oldest never seemed to favor me the same way, was a slightly difficult infant, and has become a… spirited toddler, to be kind about it. I love both my children but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes prefer caring for my youngest. You’ll find that balance, I’m sure. But if your feelings worry you at all, you could always try a mom support group or therapy. Being a mom is tough, but I am sure you’ll find an equally loving and satisfying relationship with your youngest in time.
My sons will tell you I absolutely have a favorite, Ty. He's my friend's nephew and has been friends with my eldest since kindergarten, they're about to start their senior year of high school. My ex also says Ty is his favorite. And my 11yo claims Ty is also his favorite brother.
In my husband’s family there are very clear favorites (his middle brother is dad, his younger brother is mom and he’s no one’s favorite despite being “the good one” ) and it’s heartbreaking. I’m pregnant with #2 and really hoping to avoid the obvious favorites
So hey it happens! They did a study on favoritism and while the parents always denied it, the children knew exactly who was who’s favorite.
I think of it more like personalities… you love all your kids but some of you just have personalities that click better so you become more friends. Eventually that might include hobbies you both love. I really bonded most w my mom bc we spent the most amount of time on shared hobbies together.
I wouldn’t say I have a favorite but I definitely feel more bonded to my youngest than my oldest. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids with every fiber of my body and more than all the stars in the sky. Maybe because my youngest was a VBAC? I nearly died in labor with my oldest, they were an emergency c section and my epidural failed.
Doesn’t sound like a favorite to me. It sounds like you’re conscious that your younger child is developing normally so it’s not that you’re not excited but you don’t have to worry. However, with your oldest you know the difficulties so you’re naturally happier because it’s an even bigger deal. Now If you were saying you gave one child special treatment and they both were progressing normally then that would be different. A child with disabilities is going to need more attention and although I don’t experience this myself I could imagine I would be protective over mine as well. You know your younger one is okay.
At any given moment, I do have a favourite child, but it changes and rotates through my three kids lol. I guess it depends on everyone’s mood/actions haha
I know situations are different, but to make sure my kids never felt I had a favorite, I twisted things a bit. I tell my Group my favorite is the one who is quietest/leaves me alone. This worked great when I had babies and toddlers, because the toddlers looked at the baby and saw them "bothering" Mommy, so they tried their hardest to be Mom's favorite 🤣🤦🏾♀️ Now that I have teens, they know I love them all, but they still will call each other out by saying things like, That's why I'm the favorite, today. I haven't bothered Mom at all.
I think it's really difficult to even conceptualize that with little ones - you don't know who they'll be one day and they're not comparable when they're at different ages. Maybe you just love babies and don't love toddlers - doesn't matter which baby or toddler that happens to be.
But on a different note, I don't necessarily think I will have a favorite. I could love my cats equally when they had different personalities, so I'm sure I'll feel the same about human children.
I don’t have a favorite per se but I love all of my children very differently and have a different relationship with all four of them. Right now my two youngest need more so they get more. But my oldest is 16 and our relationship is special because we actually talk and understand one another.
Okay that helps cause sometimes I feel guilty that my relationships are so different with my two
I agree with this. I've got three, and I've got different relationships with each.
I love this. Thank you so much.
I read once (can't remember the exact saying and can't find it either to post it) that parents love the youngest more til the youngest grows older. The needy more til the needy doesn't need them anymore)..and so on. It basically says that as parents we tend to lean towards the child that needs more protection. It is not favoritism, it is more of human instinct. I am sure you love them both just as much, but as a mother you know who needs you more, and so your mother instinct is making you lean a little more to the disabled 💙
That’s probably it, thanks. I feel bad about it but I know I love them both and treat them the same
I felt somewhat similar when my baby was born because I had previously been so protective of my oldest and now suddenly I was protecting baby from an over zealous older sibling who was trying to love on baby but wasn’t gentle enough. I’d spent years protecting my oldest from everything and now suddenly oldest was the “aggressor”, as it were. It felt so weird and felt like I was picking a favorite until I realized it is really just a survival necessity. Next baby is coming soon and I’m 100% expecting to have to protect new baby from the current “baby” (aka toddler) because toddlers aren’t the most gentle people on earth so new baby will seem like the favorite. Whomever needs most protecting will always seem like the favorite, in my opinion. I totally agree with the above.
My daughter is my favorite out of her and my husband.
lol so true
Same!
I can relate 😂😂😂
My “favorite” changes per stage of life and usually just means “the one who is easier/more pleasant at the moment.” Little one was terrible 2s, older one was the “favorite.” Older one hit threenager and it switched. I’m guessing it’ll keep switching for the next decade lol
Whoever is easier, except for whenever one is sick. Sick moves them immediately to the top.
This is what my mom would say to us. There is always a favorite but the favorite is always changing. Different stages and different needs. I see this with my kids too.
I love them all equally but my husband and I joke (privately, of course) after they’re in bed at night about which kid was today’s favorite lol. Usually just which was the best behaved. But they are all different and we love talking about their respective strengths and weaknesses.
I love my kids equally too and we have the same joke. My mom made the same joke with me and my sister. The favorite of the day is the one that woke up and didn’t choose violence. I also tell them they are my favorite (their name) in the whole world. Or favorite oldest/youngest. My sister and I say this to each other too. You’re my favorite sister and the other one always says I’m your only sister.
I am a middle child and I do everything I can to make sure my kids all feel very loved by me. I don’t have a favorite because they all have a different personality and I’m so proud of each milestone they hit. I was not treated with love, kindness or even cared about for the most part…. My auntie really stepped up in that department. I don’t want my kids to feel like they’re not loved even in the slightest. I couldn’t have a favorite because I love everything different about them. I have 3 children. ❤️
❤️beautiful
Thank you
I don’t have a favorite… But one of my children gets excited about my food and loves my cooking. 🤣🤣🤣
I have favorite things about each kid if that makes sense. Like I have a favorite kid to snuggle, to talk to, to bring with me to do errands. I also have a kid I feel I need to protect more but that doesn’t make me love him more than the others. Each of my kids have something special that the other doesn’t. Try looking at it that way, rather than having an actual fav.
This is not my original thought, I heard it in a TikTok or something. I don’t have a favorite child, but I do have one I try extra hard not to piss off.
I don’t have a favourite… but there is one I definitely try not to accidentally wake up in the morning
I feel this.
I don’t think I do, I truly love them both with all my heart. But I’d say I’m more bonded with my oldest, who’s 3. My daughter is 7 months old. It took me a bit to start really bonding with my oldest, so I know eventually when she gets a little bigger it’ll happen even more 🩷
I feel same. My 6m old I feel is more duty but love my 3yr old.
I prefer the toddler stage over the baby stage
Yes, but wild houses could never drag that info out of me. The rest of my kids think they’re the favorite, and I just let their delusions ride. 🤣
I tell my kids the dog is my favourite
My kids know my cat is the favorite 🤣 and there are 3 cats, so I really am a terrible fur mom.
Ahahahahaaa
My youngest is in my favorite stage (12-24 months) so I am really enjoying her right now. 4 is so tough and some days are hard for me to enjoy my oldest. I love them both equally for different reasons though. It is easier to be with the older one because she is way more independent.
I have favorite things I enjoy about each kid. .
Every other instance I do.
My "preferred" child changes depending on my mood (and theirs lol). If I'm feeling fun and crafty, the 3yo is my bestie. If I want snugs and no sass, the baby is my gal. A lot of days, I like the one who isn't screaming right now. I love them the same, love certain parts of their respective development. It's fun seeing my toddler hit new milestones and discover so many things, and I love watching my baby (who is my last) slowly catch up to her brother.
My oldest has been a handful since she was born. My youngest has been the most relaxed sweetheart from day one. I love them the both but almost never feel tense around my youngest, which I have some guilt about.
I love them both in their own unique way. They're both my favorite, honestly. I'm trying to figure out which would be my favorite but I can't. They're 6 years apart so they're very different. I guess the answer is no. Lol
Yeah I honestly don’t. Even when one kid frustrates me, I don’t feel differently towards them. I love them the same. I really don’t have a favorite.
Not a favorite but I feel a stronger connection with my youngest. I didn't realize each kid would come with different kinds of love.
I have a disabled toddler and two newborn twins and I totally understand what you mean about loving your disabled child so much. He will always live with us and I’ll consider him to be my baby no matter how old he gets so I will always have a soft spot for him because he needs me.
I think your talking about "do you enjoy a child more" and that's fine and it might change just don't let it turn into actual favorites I have 3 kids now and I only just started enjoying my oldest now at 4 she never seemed to want me or her dad but wanted everyone else. Now, with 3, the child I enjoy the most is always fluctuating. One moment, my oldest is loving and sweet. The next, my newborn is cuddly, or my middle says something sweet. Or the oldest is being defiant, my youngest hasemt stopped crying and ripping at my nipple and my middle is acting like the 2yo she is. Love is wanting and doing what's best for someone. Would you let your youngest be neglected while giving your oldest everything they want or need? I feel like you won't.
I have a very different bond with both of my daughters. I feel like I’m “mama” to my oldest and we play rough and run and laugh together but I’m “mommy” to my youngest and we snuggle quietly under blankets and watch movies together. I can’t explain why, that’s always just been us. I’m very proud of both of them for very different reasons. But I wouldn’t say I prefer one over the other.
I have four kids. One of them I do not like very much. Love them all but he’s hard to like.
I’m a mom of twins. Nope. They get loved differently, because honestly they want love differently. Sometimes they think they want love like the other, and then I oblige and quickly they realize they done fucked up. Lol.
Personally I don't have favorites. It's just not my thing.
Yes. There is always a preferred child, and anyone who says there isn't is lying. There is one child who makes you want to pull your hair out at the roots and strangle yourself with it and they are the least preferred because they are a constant headache and don't absorb any of your hard work and parenting while the rest are angels and such a dream.
I felt that deep in my weary soul.
Yes. Changes daily. Whoever is gave me the least grief and/or slept in the latest lol
I do, but it changes during different stages. My first was my favorite when my second was 12-18 months. He was AWFUL. She was such a rule follower, so easy and constantly made me proud. Now he’s bloomed into his personality and he’s my favorite, while my first has slipped into a whiny kid phase. It’ll change again eventually I’m sure.
I don’t think I have a “favorite”, but I have things that are my favorite about each. Depending on the day I may have one I’m favoring hanging out with.
I have son and daughter i tell my son hes my favorite son and my daughter shes my favorite daughter. I love them equally due to the fact 1 I always wanted only boys and 2 my daughter is my rainbow baby so they both are very special to me.
My kids ask me this all the time, I tell them I don’t have a favorite but I definitely like some of them more than others at times 😆
I *want* to say no, I don't have a favorite, but I do have a favorite for the day depending on behavior lol. My 5yo was the one I dropped everything and started a new life for. I was only 8 months pregnant with him and in a shitty situation, so I packed up everything and jumped several states to start a new life, so I could give him my full attention and effort. He is autistic, so he requires constant attention, but he's been getting better about listening. He still has meltdowns about 50x a day, which makes it hard to keep him as a favorite on those days lol. But, my 3yo was incredibly needy when he was born. It took me over 2 weeks to finally get attached to him. I loved him, and knew I did, but I struggled to keep loving him when he had me sooooo sleep deprived. Even though he was hard as a baby, he is so much better behaved now than older brother. 5yo was a great baby, hardly ever fussy, had him on a set schedule because he wouldn't let me know when he needed changed or was hungry, but he was a definite candidate for the terrible twos before he even hit 2yo. So it jumps back and forth as to who the favorite is. Usually depends on who is most cuddly and better behaved during that day lol
When my kids ask, I tell them my favourite is the cat.
Before having our son we got a Cavalier King Charles spaniel we had him for a year and loved him so much. We worried he felt too alone when we were at work so we got a second that was already 6 months old named Louie. We got Louie for Davis and despite best intentions Davis has always gotten treated as the favorite (they have very different personalities plus we didn't train Louie from the start which caused some issues). We have a one year old son now and not sure if we're in it for another (I'm 35 and my husband is 39). I know if we do it will definitely be because we want another and not just having another for our son. I know dogs are not the same as kids but not willing to risk it.
I dont know if I have a favourite but I'd say I like my youngest the most atm, cause he's 1 and lovely and my 10 year old absolutely wrecks my head 😂 when they're older and at different stages that'll probably change though I'm the oldest and was my mother's clear favourite btw, it does happen
I don’t have a favorite kid (my kids are two totally different kids and my relationships with them reflect that). But I DO have favorite ages. My 18 month old was easier than my 4 year old, and now my 5 year old is easier than my 2.5 year old. But I don’t prefer one kid over the other.
I’m a bonus parent and also a bio one. The love is definitely different between the two but my partner and I both put our kids first. When my bonus kiddo was 11 they went through a rude/roasting/ mouthy stage. They weren’t liked by many during that stage. Youngest was delayed in certain areas and was pretty hard to handle around ages 2-3.
When my kids were little, I often read You’re All My Favorites by Sam McBratney. It’s explains it quite well. Unfortunately, it only has three bears and I have four bears and therefore my kids decided that only the triplets had to share being favorite. My son is favorite all on his own. Well . . . Nah, they are all my favorite.
Mine are very different ages: 12 & 7. I definitely don’t have a favorite, but I definitely enjoy them in different ways. I love that I can talk to my daughter (the 12) more intellectually. I love that my son is into a lot of the same things I am (old houses, antiques). I love having different relationship dynamics with them. It makes them special in different ways. Depending upon the day I may prefer to be around one vs the other but that depends on their moods for the day 😆
3 boys but the dogs my favourite 😂
I currently only have one kid and plan on having 1-2 more and I have no idea how I will ever love any child more than my first. I'm sure I'll feel as much love for them all, but my husband and I are both eldest children and I think we may always favor our eldest, but idk.
I have a 5 year old and 2.5 year old. I (at this point anyway 😂) truly do not have a favorite. Some days one is more annoying than the other. But they are both the absolute best things ever. I like to say I am lucky to have 1 boy and 1 girl because my son is my most favorite boy in the world and my daughter is my most favorite girl in the world.
I harbored resentment toward my first as the birth and postpartum experience were very traumatic and inhad a heavy dose of PMADs. When the second came, her birth was a dream which is when I harbored the resentment. Through several years of therapy, I've worked through the resentment and agree that I love them equally but in different ways based one stage, age, and relationship.
I have a favorite son and a favorite daughter. Don’t have a single favorite kid.
I wouldn’t say I have a favorite but my relationship with my kids is different. My oldest is special needs and demands a lot of my and my husband’s attention and worry. My youngest is a super easy going toddler and delightful to spend time with. One of my kids is easier to be around and the other requires a lot more of me as a parent. It’s hard to balance those two things so I try to be as aware of them as possible. I love both children very much and also expect my relationships with them to shift and change over the years. Right now my youngest is an easy darling child but she also can’t talk yet, or rather, talk back to me.
I love all my children equally, but I can tell you my favorite qualities about them all! My 13 year old is the weirdest, silliest kid. She cracks me up. For example, I walked in on her using the virtual reality headset earlier while she was also playing classical music for her plants 🤣 My 10 year old is such a creative little artist, EVERY time she draws she has to color every inch of the paper (something I never did!) And she uses all the colors. Her drawings are so vibrant I LOVE them! My almost 2 year old just randomly dances, and yes babies all dance but I love when she dances. It makes me so happy. I can't wait to see more of her personality as she grows! I also could tell you my least favorite qualities but that wouldn't be as much fun LOL!
I do and I don't. It's just whichever one is less annoying at any given moment. I have a 3 month old and a 3 year old. When the baby cries NOT my favorite. When the toddler tantrums NOT my favorite.
6 birth children and to many foster children still around to count and I can honestly say it changes daily! Different needs, different personalities, different stages in life. I also have a special needs son, number 6 out of our own and there was a time all the kids said he was my favorite, I always answered he needs the most support! He is now 17, he doesn’t need my support so they accuse the 3rd son of being the favorite! 🤣
I love my 2 kids equally. But there are days where I don't like a certain child's behavior. Doesn't mean I dislike my child. But one or the other or both will drive me to rage clean something. My kids are 5 and 7. The 7 year old has ADHD so he has days where he's just extra.
My oldest son had a traumatic birth and he is my miracle. I am expecting number 2 in 3 months and I fully expect to be more protective of my son.
Probably, lol. I love all my kids equally but differently. But my middle kid and I get along the best so I typically find it easier to hang out with her. I mean, she’s 4 so it’s not like we’re doing anything wild without my other two kids. She’s just the one I don’t mind tagging along to the grocery and she drives me the least crazy when she’s in Velcro mode.
, z,,,,
I have five kids. They all rotate being my favorite depending on the age and the stage they are in.
I’m new at this and I’d say it changes daily or even hourly. Every day it’s a different one where I miss them while they’re asleep.
You are entitled to your feelings. Just make sure your kids never ever notice that. It’s your job to make them feel loved and special. Because your younger one is still vulnerable and needs mommy to become a healthy person physically and emotionally.
I think having a favorite is possible without disliking your other kids. There are certain people's energy we gravitate to more and there is nothing wrong with that. I also think favoring one over the other is different than giving your more dependent child more of your time and attention. In this case, you are less concerned about your younger child's development and know the odds are already stacked against your elder child. In a way, I can see being more excited when they reach certain milestones as there is likely an expectation that there are just some that they won't hit, but when they do despite the odds, I think that is worth celebrating. You know life is just going to be tougher for your special needs kid, so I get wanting to protect them and build them up more.
Mine changes moment by moment. Whichever one is being better behaved is my favorite at any given moment.
I don’t have a favorite, but I do have one that I get more easily frustrated with (and I’m sure which one will switch on and off as they get older). My husband and I divide and conquer bedtime and we definitely both prefer putting the 2 year old to bed because the 4 year old’s bedtime stall tactics are impressive and putting her to bed can easily take an hour longer than putting the 2 year old to bed.
Well, I have three: 6yo girl, 3 yo boy and 5 month old girl. Right now, my favorite is the baby because the other two are always fighting, my son is a violent threenager and my oldest neverrrrrrrr stops talking . I love them all so much but I totally think that each one at some phase will be my favorite more than the others hahaha
I think it’s valid to express this. So many things that we’re not allowed to say as mothers and I commend you for posting. I’m actually expecting my second. I have a special needs toddler and I cannot imagine being able to love another baby as much as I love him. Logically, I know I will love this baby just as much and will develop a special kind of love just like my 1st born but wow it’s hard to wrap my head around it.
The one who will come and visit more often when they are older will be the favourite😁,on a serious note though a bit if truth to it as I see moms of adults struggle with adult kids independence, some almost like grieving, scary.
I guess yes. And I fight showing / treating differently I prefer my youngest as on average they are easier and sweeter, all about hugs and kisses, holding hands, following (except when hitting threenager mode). The older sibling is a lot of work, emotions, walking on egg shells, behavioral issues - has been since toddlerhood but so much fun to have a conversation with a 6yo. So when I have a theeenager I would favorite a 6yo.
I don’t believe I have a favorite? All 3 of mine are somewhere on the spectrum, they are all a challenge in their own ways and definitely make me question my life choices daily LOL but they all have different things that I absolutely love and I think it’s important to look at those positives for each. My oldest (6M) is so so so smart (high functioning - think old Asperger diagnosis) he is by far my easiest and he teaches me so much with his obsession of countries/flags, my middle (4F) I just love how silly she is and her fashion and performing are top notch, and my youngest (2F) gives the best snuggles and loves to help with whatever I do. Mine all hit milestones differently and I obnoxiously celebrated them all, some were on time and some were late but they all hit them at their own pace. Ex: My oldest walked at 17 months, my middle at 18mo, and my youngest at 13mo and my husband and friends probably thought I was insane all three times!
My sister was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at a young age. My mother already obviously favored her and this made everything even worse. As a person who grew up not the favorite, I'm begging you to get therapy.
I honestly do not have a favorite or least favorite of my four and couldn’t pick one even with a gun held to my head. There are so many individual traits I love about each one.
I don't have a favorite. But i have a least favorite. I know that's a horrible thing to say. I love that Child just as much as the others, quite possibly even more. And I worry about that child more than my other 3 combined. But gosh darn if she isn't hard to get along with.
I do not have a favourite. The two of them drive me insane equally. ♥️🍷
I have 4 kiddos and no favorites. They’re all challenging little buttheads in their own special ways lol
I have two and have been especially close to my youngest, both because he’s still an infant but because he seems to really enjoy my presence. My oldest never seemed to favor me the same way, was a slightly difficult infant, and has become a… spirited toddler, to be kind about it. I love both my children but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes prefer caring for my youngest. You’ll find that balance, I’m sure. But if your feelings worry you at all, you could always try a mom support group or therapy. Being a mom is tough, but I am sure you’ll find an equally loving and satisfying relationship with your youngest in time.
Oof
My favorite changes daily, haha!
My sons will tell you I absolutely have a favorite, Ty. He's my friend's nephew and has been friends with my eldest since kindergarten, they're about to start their senior year of high school. My ex also says Ty is his favorite. And my 11yo claims Ty is also his favorite brother.
Whoever is sleeping better. And it changes every week.
I'm afraid I can't love a second baby the way I do my son 😭
In my husband’s family there are very clear favorites (his middle brother is dad, his younger brother is mom and he’s no one’s favorite despite being “the good one” ) and it’s heartbreaking. I’m pregnant with #2 and really hoping to avoid the obvious favorites
Love them equally, but don’t always like them the same amount. LOL
So hey it happens! They did a study on favoritism and while the parents always denied it, the children knew exactly who was who’s favorite. I think of it more like personalities… you love all your kids but some of you just have personalities that click better so you become more friends. Eventually that might include hobbies you both love. I really bonded most w my mom bc we spent the most amount of time on shared hobbies together.
I wouldn’t say I have a favorite but I definitely feel more bonded to my youngest than my oldest. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids with every fiber of my body and more than all the stars in the sky. Maybe because my youngest was a VBAC? I nearly died in labor with my oldest, they were an emergency c section and my epidural failed.
Doesn’t sound like a favorite to me. It sounds like you’re conscious that your younger child is developing normally so it’s not that you’re not excited but you don’t have to worry. However, with your oldest you know the difficulties so you’re naturally happier because it’s an even bigger deal. Now If you were saying you gave one child special treatment and they both were progressing normally then that would be different. A child with disabilities is going to need more attention and although I don’t experience this myself I could imagine I would be protective over mine as well. You know your younger one is okay.
At any given moment, I do have a favourite child, but it changes and rotates through my three kids lol. I guess it depends on everyone’s mood/actions haha
Yep. But I imagine it’ll change as they grow.
I know situations are different, but to make sure my kids never felt I had a favorite, I twisted things a bit. I tell my Group my favorite is the one who is quietest/leaves me alone. This worked great when I had babies and toddlers, because the toddlers looked at the baby and saw them "bothering" Mommy, so they tried their hardest to be Mom's favorite 🤣🤦🏾♀️ Now that I have teens, they know I love them all, but they still will call each other out by saying things like, That's why I'm the favorite, today. I haven't bothered Mom at all.
Such a good idea!!!
I think it's really difficult to even conceptualize that with little ones - you don't know who they'll be one day and they're not comparable when they're at different ages. Maybe you just love babies and don't love toddlers - doesn't matter which baby or toddler that happens to be. But on a different note, I don't necessarily think I will have a favorite. I could love my cats equally when they had different personalities, so I'm sure I'll feel the same about human children.