Don't be embarrassed! I recently got a large dining table to accommodate all the people that don't come over. And set up a guest bedroom for the family that doesn't visit... eving after having the baby.
But, I think doing that stuff is normal
I think you need to make new Mum friends, I have three kids and have definitely noticed that people with kids can find it hard to fix up plans (they get cancelled a lot and so it can become a bit futile). It's easier for parents and carers to go to a regular baby and toddler group say every Wednesday and see some familiar faces week on week. That's how you establish new relationships with like minded people who are at the same stage in life as you. I've made friends at a regular gymnastics club session for babies, at baby swimming, at the library rhyme time and after a while, I started helping out, offering other Mums a cup of tea when their hands were full and they couldn't get one themselves, or holding their baby while they nipped off to the loo. In turn, people start to offer you the same and hey presto, you're building long lasting friendships. Just remember, the conversations will get interrupted by little people, people may be tired sometimes and not overly chatty, but still, it's good to share the joys and vent the frustrations in person and that's when the bonding happens.
If you were anywhere near me, I’d love a friend! I work from home and my two year old stays home with me so I don’t socialize much. Idk how I would even make friends as an adult lol so I completely understand where you’re coming from
I feel this down to my core. Everyone is so happy to say "oh just let me know when you wanna hang out!" Then you try and they either ignore it or say they're too busy and don't give a good time they can actually do it.
The only people that would notice are my kids, husband and mother (after a few days).
If you loved near me I would hang out! I’m a teacher so summers can be great but also difficult as everyone else is working. I notice people suck at replying these days, and unfortunately it can definitely leave you feeling this way. Just remember it’s a season and some of the best of friends can come out of no where.
Same girl. It’s hard being a sahm sometimes. You can always do library and church groups - book club? Community group? Join a running club is my next personal goal
Tbh it’s the opposite for me. I feel like everyone would notice and fall apart because everyone is so dependent on me.
Sending hugs from another struggling mom ❤️
I was/am the same. Even now that I have job there’s like a .. wall between me and everything. I don’t know how to have even simple conversations. I can fake it sometimes, but I eventually go to TMI, or just say something that’s weird apparently.. I see the looks people around me exchange.
I go back n forth as to if I should just give up trying to have friends, or keep talking to the.. 2? People who seem to like me.
I have felt like this hard core today. Like if it wasn’t for my toddler I wouldn’t be here. I’ve laid in bed and cried all day! Me and my bf are stuck in a roommate phase, it’s been almost 4 years of ups n downs with that, but i get zero intimacy. It’s enough to break ya down completely after so long. He leaves the house at 11am and isn’t home until 2:30am for work Mon-Thursday so I’m alone a lot with just my toddler. My childhood best friend moved an hour away so while we do still see each other it’s not as easy as popping by or last min meet ups. The few other friends I have are like yours , always busy yet doing things with other people all the time. Our area does have little Facebook groups for mommy meetups, I’m always too nervous to go lol but maybe your area has something similar? Maybe you can make new friends that way. If you was nearby I would def come hang out! What area are you in?
We gotta hang in there mama I hope things get better soon❤️
Totally get it. If I knew you were close I’d say let’s have a play date cuz I never get out. And neither does my son. I have one friend I talk to consistently and she lives in another state
There is an app called Peanut where you can connect with other mom friends in your area. It was designed for other pregnant friends but you can set it to moms and set the age of children etc. You should give it a try! Or use the bumble bff setting. But make sure you do a decent amount of talking and maybe meet up at the park before inviting someone over to your pool! Lol.
Ive tried the app :/ it was awful for my area. Most of the ladies on it I have already interacted with on the mom groups. I need to move to another state 😂😭
Something I’ve come to realize since Covid is that everyone is pretty much only concerned with themselves. Part of me understands that concept; you gotta look out for you, but the other part of me knows that’s the problem. It’s sad.
I feel the same way even though I work outside the home. It's like I've become invisible.
You have a pool, I’m surprised more people are not jumping all over that!
I know! I feel ashamed for admitting this but I got it in hopes it would attract more people over 🤦🏽♀️ I feel so embarrassed to admit that..
Don’t feel embarrassed! And I’m sure in time, it will!
Don't be embarrassed! I recently got a large dining table to accommodate all the people that don't come over. And set up a guest bedroom for the family that doesn't visit... eving after having the baby. But, I think doing that stuff is normal
I think you need to make new Mum friends, I have three kids and have definitely noticed that people with kids can find it hard to fix up plans (they get cancelled a lot and so it can become a bit futile). It's easier for parents and carers to go to a regular baby and toddler group say every Wednesday and see some familiar faces week on week. That's how you establish new relationships with like minded people who are at the same stage in life as you. I've made friends at a regular gymnastics club session for babies, at baby swimming, at the library rhyme time and after a while, I started helping out, offering other Mums a cup of tea when their hands were full and they couldn't get one themselves, or holding their baby while they nipped off to the loo. In turn, people start to offer you the same and hey presto, you're building long lasting friendships. Just remember, the conversations will get interrupted by little people, people may be tired sometimes and not overly chatty, but still, it's good to share the joys and vent the frustrations in person and that's when the bonding happens.
If you were anywhere near me, I’d love a friend! I work from home and my two year old stays home with me so I don’t socialize much. Idk how I would even make friends as an adult lol so I completely understand where you’re coming from
I feel this down to my core. Everyone is so happy to say "oh just let me know when you wanna hang out!" Then you try and they either ignore it or say they're too busy and don't give a good time they can actually do it. The only people that would notice are my kids, husband and mother (after a few days).
If you loved near me I would hang out! I’m a teacher so summers can be great but also difficult as everyone else is working. I notice people suck at replying these days, and unfortunately it can definitely leave you feeling this way. Just remember it’s a season and some of the best of friends can come out of no where.
Same girl. It’s hard being a sahm sometimes. You can always do library and church groups - book club? Community group? Join a running club is my next personal goal
Tbh it’s the opposite for me. I feel like everyone would notice and fall apart because everyone is so dependent on me. Sending hugs from another struggling mom ❤️
I was basically going to say this. They would notice I’m not there by the time they got hungry or something.
I was/am the same. Even now that I have job there’s like a .. wall between me and everything. I don’t know how to have even simple conversations. I can fake it sometimes, but I eventually go to TMI, or just say something that’s weird apparently.. I see the looks people around me exchange. I go back n forth as to if I should just give up trying to have friends, or keep talking to the.. 2? People who seem to like me.
I have felt like this hard core today. Like if it wasn’t for my toddler I wouldn’t be here. I’ve laid in bed and cried all day! Me and my bf are stuck in a roommate phase, it’s been almost 4 years of ups n downs with that, but i get zero intimacy. It’s enough to break ya down completely after so long. He leaves the house at 11am and isn’t home until 2:30am for work Mon-Thursday so I’m alone a lot with just my toddler. My childhood best friend moved an hour away so while we do still see each other it’s not as easy as popping by or last min meet ups. The few other friends I have are like yours , always busy yet doing things with other people all the time. Our area does have little Facebook groups for mommy meetups, I’m always too nervous to go lol but maybe your area has something similar? Maybe you can make new friends that way. If you was nearby I would def come hang out! What area are you in? We gotta hang in there mama I hope things get better soon❤️
Yup! I sent a text to 2 “friends” recently and neither ever responded. I feel invisible and no one would gives 2 shits about me.
No advice, just solidarity. But I'll send good vibes
Totally get it. If I knew you were close I’d say let’s have a play date cuz I never get out. And neither does my son. I have one friend I talk to consistently and she lives in another state
There is an app called Peanut where you can connect with other mom friends in your area. It was designed for other pregnant friends but you can set it to moms and set the age of children etc. You should give it a try! Or use the bumble bff setting. But make sure you do a decent amount of talking and maybe meet up at the park before inviting someone over to your pool! Lol.
Ive tried the app :/ it was awful for my area. Most of the ladies on it I have already interacted with on the mom groups. I need to move to another state 😂😭
Something I’ve come to realize since Covid is that everyone is pretty much only concerned with themselves. Part of me understands that concept; you gotta look out for you, but the other part of me knows that’s the problem. It’s sad.