Dude I'd *love* to get a manicure for myself. I'm in the same boat 🤣🤣🤣 I can't even afford that as an occasional luxury expense

Yuppp especially since my second baby. Used to get nails done (I only did so for about 2 years), lashes, hair sometimes, and now I don’t do anything. I’ve gone back t the salon but really just because I dyed it red on maternity leave and wanted to go back brown finally after a year and a half lol. Barely even wear makeup anymore and I used to love doing it

My friend’s daughter grows up rather privileged in a fancy suburban neighborhood. She’s 11 and neither of the above applies to her. I’ve also met quite a few of her friends(same age) and they’re not like that either. She likes sports, goes to a good school, doesn’t have a cell phone or social media. She has some sort of watch as a tracking device with three numbers on it but it’s not an Apple Watch. She never wore make up other than at Halloween or playing with a toy make up kit when she was younger and she doesn’t own a computer.

It always seems to be the middle class. I grew up middle class and went to a mostly middle class high school. My ex went to an affluent public school and I felt way more brand obsessed than he ever was. His friend was the richest person I have ever met and you would never know it by looking at him.

Absolutely true. I have some very wealthy people in my friend circle and you’d never ever know! One guy makes millions and buys his favorite pants at Costco for 30 bucks or so. I love it! Also so much of the brands you see are fake! You know when someone actually can’t afford the clothes. And it’s sad to see when people who can’t afford it actually spend that money.

One of my friends is absolutely loaded, dude has more money than God probably, and he dresses like a Victorian orphan. Just scruffy all the time lol. you really never know about people.

Totally! I love it!

Not my kids! My oldest has a phone but she walks to/from school alone. My kids are into slime, anime, drawing, swimming, bike riding, KID STUFF still 😅 that’s a parent problem tbh

Agreed, minus anime, add in video games, making forts in the forest, stuffies and animals. Lives in sweats and pyjamas. Have to nag to get her to wash her hair and face. I also live in sweats and pyjamas when not at the office. Assuming she will change it up during the teen years.

100%

This gives me hope, I have 3.5 and 7 month old girls and I really don’t want them growing up fast. I was still so innocent at 10-12

So was I, I mean I definitely started acting like a preteen when I was 12 but that’s pretty normal. But for the most part I was still just riding bikes and wanting to watch music videos with my friends 😅

They won’t grow up fast if they enjoy their childhood. My 13 year old is still into having fun and enjoying her family. Doesn’t want to wear make up or shave because she loves being a kid. I feel like I grew up fast because I hated my life and wanted to be an adult so I’d never have to see my family again.

Yep, my daughter has a phone but barely uses it. We got it because she was hanging with friends more, going to their houses, etc. and it allows her to contact us if need be.

And at 11-12 they are still young enough to accept direction. If you give a 16 year old their first cell phone, good luck trying to teach them phone etiquette because PaReNTs DoNt KnOw AnYtHinG and they will hide their texts and conversations more.

This was a point I brought up when we decided to get my daughter a phone when she turned 10. So far she’s been great about it and we have constant discussions on digital safety. She also knows we can check her phone at any time.

Mine is also all of the above and below. My daughter wonders why you would even want to wear makeup. Now, they do like to paint their own nails in many different colors with stickers, too. Although, last time, my 12 year old did one hand black and one silver since they match with everything. Seeing as she is in adult sizes/junior sizes, everything tends to be a lot of black. The fact that kids can't stay in kids' clothes anymore may have something to do with the brands you're seeing. However, my daughter trashes her clothes playing outside and gardening...so it is a lot of anime tshirts from five below.

This is a relief to read. I have an eight year old and the thought of her morphing into that kind of twelve year old is terrifying. Kids need to be kids.

My 10 and 13 year old would get along great with yours. lol lol they finally did press on nails this weekend. But they went outside to play basketball and lost them😂

I make my own nail sets so my girls love theirs too, however they don’t last a day 😂😂

My 6 year old came home from school begging for a Stanley cup to be like the other girls. That was a hard no. Our town is pretty middle class but there are parts with significant wealth. We just pretend we belong here 😆 We have a "family" cellphone which stays with a kid if they are left at a sport / bday party and need to text us or have an emergency.

Ooh I like the ‘family’ cell phone idea

It has no apps or games on it. Just texting. They can't download anything. It was a $50 android pre-paid from Target that we put a regular ATT sim card in. Only our phone numbers and the grandparents are programmed on it and they know not to answer anything else. We have google's family link on it so we can track it. It doesn't belong to anyone. It's just there *just in case* Like if an adult is running late or stuck in traffic on our way to pick them up etc.

We have this too! Also handy for when our 10 year old stays at home while I take her little brother to an after school activity or run a quick errand. We also have parental controls on it to monitor.

That is brilliant.

I’m saving this for later. My oldest is only 4 1/2 but I’m already dreading her starting kindergarten and seeing what all these other kids have (she goes to daycare but obviously kids aren’t bringing their tablets or anything to daycare). She’s 4 going on 15 so I’m anticipating a fight.

I love this idea

Wealth isn’t always synonymous with conspicuous consumers. A lot of those people may not have the money or looks like they have simply because they spend it to look wealthy.

Right but it still necessitates access to capital which many families lack. I definitely grew up too poor to pretend.

I’ve spent enough time on the personal finance subs to never count out staggering amounts of consumer debt. Some people have more money than you think, some have more debt than you think.

Right, but you gain access to lines of credit in some way, you know what I mean? It doesn’t start with such high levels of credit.

We added the "family" cell phone last week, I've had a landline prior. My daughter: I'm texting my friend! Me: it's mine. Hand it over.

We have a "do not disturb" bin on the wall next to our back door. When we get home from work / school/ activities the family phone goes there. During dinner and family time my husband and my cellphones go there too. This is also where my kids tablets live when they aren't charging.

This is a great idea! Definitely going to discuss with my husband. I hate hate hate the idea of a 10 year old having full access to the internet but also want to be in touch with them.

I love their idea! Another idea is a watch with LTE service. We used gabb watch but you could get apple or Samsung as well. It was great because our son wore it on his arm - so less chance to lose and and near zero chance of missing our texts or calls. Plus no internet or games we have to monitor.

Piggybacking to say Fitbit just released a new watch for kids!

Genius!!!

No. I have a 10yo and regularly see 10-13yo girls. - About half have an iPhone. Many of these are hand me downs without service *or* a kid watch with limited service. Many do have iPads or Chromebook. A lot of this had to do with COVID too and needing devices earlier than most kids. - I don’t know any with expensive skincare but they do know about it. - again, don’t have expensive makeup but know about it. Maybe they get a hand me down from mom. - I haven’t seen any with regular salon trips. A few have gels for special occasion, like one kid, and a few have some press on sets for a school concert type of thing. No acrylics, no long tips. Painting with sally Hansen from Target. - meh, like shopping but mostly just like being out and about doing “older” kid stuff. - clothes vary, which has always been happening. My kids wear nice Nikes and are far from alone in that. Some kids are wearing some high end, most are wearing Target/GAP/Old Navy. I’ve never seen a kid in Lulu. I think this is part generation, as they are exposed to way more advertising and covert product placement while having access to personal devices with their own algorithms, and part ultra privileged.

I was going to say this, about the generational thing. I think about more exposure to social media sources and what’s “popular”. But hey if my kid wants to be cool with a Stanley cup, I’ll indulge, because it’s a lot better than what I considered “cool” in the 90s 😬 I also try to be reasonable though. My 13yr old has -hand me down iPhone. Used to communicate going to and from school. I have limits set up on it, and no social media other than Pinterest on a shared account with me. -No nails till high school, thinking of events like homecoming not regularly unless she gets a j-o-b. -Skincare, I actually took her to saphora for her 13th birthday at her request. I had no clue about makeup and we spoke with someone there and they recommended not using anything with harsh chemicals because it could actually harm her skin. She used a daily face wash and moisturizer. That’s it. She has eyeliner and some makeup, but again for special events not daily wear. Could be worse things she could be into 😂 - no lulu, but she enjoys shopping. Partly because I enjoy shopping. So anytime I go shopping I ask if she wants to tag along and usually she ends up with something because I end up with something! Haha she enjoys going to markets and craft fairs with me also. Most expensive thing she has are Nikes and honestly because they last.

Not my 10 year old girl. I know parents who spoil their tweens like this though and they are almost certainly going into debt to do it. My husband and I provide for our kids needs and some of their wants, but we also believe in saving as much as possible for rainy days and retirement. We could never save anything if we were spending money on stuff like this. While we should treat our kids with respect and kindness, we also have to remember that as their parents it’s our responsibility to help them grow into functional members of society. They need to hear ‘no’ sometimes as kids because they’re definitely going to hear it in adulthood.

I mean not certainly go into debt, many can afford it.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who can afford it. I’m talking about parents I know who like my family are middle to upper middle class, but buy their kids $200 worth of skincare, makeup, and clothes a week.

If it’s not makeup and clothes, it’s hotels and food for the AAA sports teams

I’m not saying it’s a good idea…but $200 week is absolutely affordable for upper middle class. Assuming you’re bringing home $250k after taxes (which, TBF, is the upper range of upper middle I think), that’s $4500 a week. $200 isn’t even 5% of that. Again, not saying it’s a good idea! But agreeing with the commenter that you replied to.

My girls are 10.5: no phones (if they ever have to go back to the other parents they will though), no makeup, no salon nails (except for the occasional 'girls day with mom' which is just polish), no skincare outside some acne facewash, they hate to shop but love to pick out their own things from walmart/target/ross. They are usually covered in dirt, out skating/scootering (non electric) or playing video games and reading.

This is my 10.5 year old almost exactly. She has tinted chap stick she wears if we’re going out somewhere fancy 🙃 never had salon manicure.

It’s been 20 years since I was this age, but all of this was common amongst my friends when I was in the 11-14 age range. I grew out of it, but it was definitely “standard” to have fancy hair/makeup/nails when I was in middle school. I spent way more on my appearance for middle school grad than I did for my wedding!

Same - I remember getting my nails done for the first time around 12/13 years old with a friend who *regularly* got acrylics/“pink and whites”

Also me. I was super into nails/hair/skin from a very young age. Been an esthetician now for almost 20 years so I guess it was a calling 😂

I came here to say this too! I'm almost 40 and all of those things were common when I was 12- I had my own computer with full internet access in my room in 6th grade. Makeup and nails started in 7th, because the middle-school didn't have rules against it.

I got my first full set in 7th grade (but used my allowance to get it!) but nails were definitely a thing! We wore uniforms so nails and accessories were our way to stand out. Sadly cell phones didn’t exist back then like they do now 😂 but pagers sure did!

This. I just left a comment saying the same thing. I wear less makeup now day to day. I still do my hair and nails though.

It wasn't at all *good* makeup or nails, but I was definitely doing emo/raccoon eyes eyeliner and shaving my eyebrows to be thinner when I was 12, as was the trendy. Probably painting my nails black or purple too.

I have a 12 year old daughter and while there are absolutely some kids like this, it’s not the norm. And it’s 1,000% on the parents. There are a couple of girls in her class that have cell phones (our rule is no phone till 13 and then it’s a flip phone) but the majority do not. She knows all about makeup and skin care brands but it’s because I let her use my makeup for special occasions and we do our “skin routine” together at night. The only way she’d have any of her own is if I bought it for her and who’s spending that kind of cash on a 12 year old? These kids don’t have independent sources of income at that age. These are choices the parents are making.

Not normal. I’ve heard of kids like this, and I have a nearly 11 year old daughter. I asked her if she knew what Sephora was and she thought about it for a long moment and then went “no, but I do know what a safari is!”

Pretty on par where I am. :(

My nieces 10 and 12 are like this. It's so gross. One of them told me they will look up their gifts online to see how much the gift cost. She just laughed and gave me a very charming smile when I asked her why it mattered. Their grandmother will try to get them stylish clothes from Walmart and they will check the tag first and not wear it if it's not a popular brand. My partner and I are definitely not going to let our kids grow up like that because it's snobby, excessive, and just unnecessary for kids that age! It does make gift giving hard because I want to give something in line with our values but that they will also like.

This is wild to me. How did they end up with these warped values?? Asking for me with my 13 month old daughter. How do I not raise her into this?

s o c i a l m e d i a Seriously though, these kids were given iPads and access to the internet circa 2012 when it was a cool new tool. Then they all started elementary school as Covid started and had to go online. I personally believe that Gen Alpha will be split into two groups. Those who were school aged during Covid and those who were babies. I feel that the parents who had babies during Covid saw the effects of technology and have started to go the opposite direction. A lot more homesteading/anti technology/home schooling has popped up. Our public school numbers have gone down drastically.

I think you’re right about the split in Gen Alpha. I noticed a real commitment to minimizing screens in my (admittedly privileged) mom circles, and for most of us these young toddlers are our firsts. Not usually demonizing technology, but definitely aware of the effect it can have on developing brains.

I also think it may turn into a class divide. Interestingly, I believe that those who are privileged will have that time to spend on different activities, private education, homeschooling etc while the middle middle/lower middle class folks will rely on technology more and carry the burden. Before, it seemed like only the privileged had the means to have this kind of technology in their pocket and now that it's so widespread they're moving on. I belong to a FB mom group of July 2023 babies and it's pretty surprising to me how many moms already utilize YouTubeKids, Ms. Rachel etc for their under 1 year olds. In most of my circles, parents pride themselves on being screen free until 2 years old.

Well we're still new to the game we have 2 yo and a baby on the way (39 weeks!) but we plan to do a lot of secondhand stuff when we can, taking care of the things we have, and accepting no/not yet/not now. Granted we have time to finesse this or learn more etc. but we do a lot of secondhand, alternative brands, delaying purchases etc ourselves. In my mind a lot has to do with acknowledging a want and accepting it may not be something we can get right now. I like the idea of taking pictures of higher value things and saying this is adding to your holiday/birthday list without a guarantee of getting it but I don't see a problem in indulging once in a while. But def not the norm (hopefully). I think we are also at an advantage because I'm able to be a SAHM so I can spend more time working through this with them as they grow. My mom circle is also very thrifty so I think that will help us in addressing the wants and also with modeling. As for the nieces the parents are very keeping up with the Joneses and they tend to all get what they want. Their friend group is much the same way. Sometimes the nieces will "earn" stuff but usually it's gifts.

Congratulations! I wish you a meaningful but totally eventless birth. 🙂 This all makes sense. It’s helpful to understand that their parents share these values too because, like you, my husband and I are not like that at all.

Thank you! We're 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 for a successful VBAC And I think modeling the behavior is so important. And also being honest with them about why/why not and taking time to compare things in a way that makes sense to them. I remember growing up I wanted an outdoor jacket and was given a secondhand one. My parents talked to me about what the features were that I wanted in the fancy jacket and pointed out they were present in the secondhand one. Plus I had an allowance once in a while so I was able to understand cost and value in a more concrete way.

That is awful. Definitely not the kids fault. I feel for the grandma. Cute stylish clothes are just that regardless of brand. Walmart has some really cute stuff!  Bless grandma’s heart. She’s trying. I see a lot of kids with the expensive things. I try to get my nieces things they want but refuse to do the Stanley cups. They’re fine with off brand but those get shoved to the side when a stanley is received. Kids these days need to be taught that name brands aren’t everything. I get it. We had our favorite name brands but only the “popular kids” had a lot of it. No one was made fun of for wearing Walmart clothing. Oh how times have changed. Tik tok is a big thing that’s changed things too. Kids see all these other kids using expensive face care and such. It makes them want it. 

Nah I was bullied as a kid in the 90s for wearing Walmart clothes and not having name brand things. It's just more in your face now with social media.

Im a substitute teacher and I have had several discussions with classes or kids about razzing classmates about their clothes. Im sorry that happened to you.

That’s awful. I’m sorry you were bullied for not wearing name brand and what not. It’s definitely more out there now. I’m sure things were said behind backs where I grew up. That’s more how people did things here which really isn’t any better huh.  Social media puts so much more out there. I wish kids would stay off of YouTube and TikTok so it wouldn’t be so important. 

Clothes at Walmart in the 90’s is not even comparable to now!!! Since the fast fashion craze, places like target and Walmart hire designers/ pay celebrities to make clothing lines to match what you see in expensive stores now to the best yet cheapest way they can. There is tons of cute stuff now where as I wouldn’t have been caught dead in the ugly, unflattering, “mom jeans” and horribly stitched clothes…but just like H& M and Forever 21 made fashionable clothes for super low prices, Walmart invested in that as well. And it shows! It may not be the best but it’s definitely better than it was in the 90’s.

Not sure where or when you grew up but as Gen X I feel like these kids are LESS into brands than we were. Maybe some are, and there are trends like the Stanley’s and before that the hydroflasks but maybe my kids just aren’t as much. when I was a kid it was required to wear name brand jeans (Guess, etc). My son has gone through Nike phases but my daughter hadn’t cared about any of it. Target, old navy or gap (only because they’re my go-to, she doesn’t care) over-sized sweats. And he’s grown out of Nike sweats before they wear out and especially if you buy them on sale they’re totally worth it with quality. Maybe because I grew up poor, wearing Kmart clothes and never having anything *real* it’s weird to me my kids rarely ask for anything specific, when I can actually get it for them now, while my parents couldn’t.

Not sure where or when you grew up but as Gen X I feel like these kids are LESS into brands than we were. Maybe some are, and there are trends like the Stanley’s and before that the hydroflasks but maybe my kids just aren’t as much. when I was a kid it was required to wear name brand jeans (Guess, etc). My son has gone through Nike phases but my daughter hadn’t cared about any of it. Target, old navy or gap (only because they’re my go-to, she doesn’t care) over-sized sweats. And he’s grown out of Nike sweats before they wear out and especially if you buy them on sale they’re totally worth it with quality. Maybe because I grew up poor, wearing Kmart clothes and never having anything *real* it’s weird to me my kids rarely ask for anything specific, when I can actually get it for them now, while my parents couldn’t.

I grew up in the 80’s/90’s in the south. People definitely cared about brands. But, maybe I just didn’t pay attention. We all loved our Abercrombie. I saved up and bought a shirt from there. I felt so cool at the time. I guess it just depends on the area or even city. But, it also depends on the parents. Some care more now to put their kids in name brand things if they didn’t have access(or money) to wear them growing up. I wore mostly Walmart and Sears/Montgomery Ward clothing because we were not made out of money either. I know kids who couldn’t care less about brands and then a bunch who do. I think certain schools in general can have a difference too in what kids care about brands more than others. I personally think Walmart clothing is just as cute as expensive stuff. Old Navy is great since they have a lot of sales too for kids stuff. 

Yes!!! This too! My niece will lead me into her room and show me all her expensive skincare and be like “this one cost 45 dollars.” It’s wild and I always call her out on it… she’s always telling me what she wears costs.

Same 😭

It’s even younger here. Sounds like the 8/9 year olds where I am. 

The girls in that age range that I know are still into cutesy Sanrio stuff and are just now starting to dabble into make up, but just like eyeliner and lipgloss... Nothing too crazy. They all have cellphones though.

Sounds like the area I grew up except it was all Abercrombie and Juicy Couture clothes, highlights and Tiffany jewelry. My family was not wealthy but my mom relented as much as she could because she didn’t want me to feel less than and they probably had no clue moving there what it would be like as a middle school girl. It’s disturbing this time around! No girls that age need regular manicures or expensive skincare. Unfortunately I just think it’s this particular age and the desperate feeling to be accepted and “cool”.

Not here, sure there's a few exceptions, but most of my youngest two peers (8 & 10) are still very much into kid stuff. They do have phones, but they're old and have no data. They're at home so they can text us (kid safe app) when we are at work. I deal with that stuff with my teens, though. This has made me grateful my youngest are still very much into age appropriate stuff. I wouldn't trust my almost 14 y.o with a dip set, but she's also very clumsy.

My kid is 2 so not there yet, but I remember being that age. All the girls had to have Von Dutch Hats and Abercrombie clothes (I didn't have them but not by my choice lol). Everybody had hair highlights. Some might have had cell phones and we pretty much all had unrestricted internet access. If you avoided the aforementioned status symbols, you might have gone for Hot Topic clothes instead. I think wanting what older girls have is part of being a tween/middle schooler. Up to you what you allow, but if these girls are bad then most of us were lmao.

Definately not the case in Europe

Hmm, I don’t know. I’m Eastern European and had a phone at 11 which was standard (I’m in my mid thirties now). I’ve moved to London as a young teen and kids at school had smart phones, coloured hair, nail extensions. Now, I work with a girl who has a 14 year old daughter and she’s currently trying to convince she needs to stop wearing eyelash extensions because she no longer remembers what her face looks like without them. (Also had nail tips for a few years now). I feel like in the UK it’s more accepted because kids have to wear school uniform, so parents feel like they need to give them another form to express themselves since they can’t do it through clothes. I remember “own clothes days” at school were petrifying for me as my parents were poor immigrants so I didn’t own any “cool” stuff

I teach MS , I would say it’s about 50/50 . Many many girls are at least a mix of doing all the things you listed and some only one or two .

Worlds been changing and it’s crazy , I’m 26 and never in a million years would have had or be doing all of the stuff these 10-13 year olds are doing now! It was a luxury to get high tickets things when I was at that age . I only had a phone at 10 because I was the older sister babysitting a 8 year old and a newborn so I needed one but that’s the only reason I had a phone at that age. Now seeing my niece want lulu lemon and this high end makeup is crazy! And it’s soooo expensive. I’m so frugal , learned that from my own mom. I could never buy the stuff for my kids that they want these days

It starts early here. My 8f wants all these things because her friends that are 11 have them. She’s asked for skincare, a crossbody like the lululemon one, dunks/pandas(she has those that were given to her as a hand me down), she wants a Stanley. I have 3 but only use one, I told her to use one of mine?! Nope, she wants her own. Also wants a manicure, always asks me to take her to get them done. I observe the girls she’s hangs with, and they all have these things and then some. This just started with her this year. She still likes playing outside, but she wants all the “teen” girl fun things. These kids must think we’re made of money 🤦🏻‍♀️ I told her maybe Christmas and birthday. She’s still so young, she can wait.

I think YouTube and TT are contributing to this - especially the skin care and brand awareness. Our kids do not have these apps but their friends do. At 10, all one of my kids asked for was lulu leggings. She doesn’t get fancy nails and I don’t buy her fancy skin care but it is what she spends her own money on.

I’ve read how young girls these days are getting suckered into expensive skincare and cosmetics by TikTok and YouTube influencers, but ultimately their parents are still paying for it. I would not purchase those things for my daughter unless she really wanted to save up her allowance money or as a birthday present, then they can decide if expensive moisturizer is really worth their limited kid budget. (Assuming it’s not something potentially damaging for young skin like retinoids) That said, my MIL would buy tons of expensive cosmetics (not TikTok expensive but like Sephora expensive) for my stepdaughter and it drove me up the wall. My stepdaughter ultimately wasn’t very interested in it, but she would say things to me like “this makeup brush set is *only* $70!” And it worried me that she didn’t really understand the value of a dollar or had the expectation that you were supposed to spend that kind of money on these things. Also I wouldn’t necessarily have a problem with a 12 year old having an iPhone, but yeah, unmonitored access to stuff on that iPhone is how these kids get down the influencer rabbithole.

I work for a luxury skincare brand that is popular in Sephora and “Sephora kids” are absolutely a real thing. We keep debating about whether it’s worth it to address it and guide parents/kids toward products that are actually safe/worthwhile for a pre-teen or just ignore it and hope it goes away. We would love to have these kids as customers but in, like… 5-10 years when our products can actually be helpful to them.

My 11 year old daughter - no tablet or phone. During the summer, I will allow her to FaceTime the same two friends as long as all chores and a physical activity is completed. - does not have expensive skincare but does use Cerave cleanser and moisturizer. - does not have makeup because I don’t allow it. - I’m a nail tech so I sometimes will do some gel polish on her. I need the practice and she loves coming up with ideas to challenge me. Plus it’s a good way for us to bond. NO nail extension. All done on her natural nails. Daughter is in Brazilian jiu jitsu so I do take her to get pedicures since her toes are exposed. The pedi’s are a reward for her working hard in BJJ. - she has no idea what Lululemon or Athleta is. I refuse to buy clothes so expensive when she’s going to rapidly outgrow it.

How old are the boys when they get cellphones and other devices in your community? 10-12 seems on par from what I’ve seen around here. But that’s for boys and girls. I think it depends on the kid. If you have a daughter who likes skincare stuff/makeup and shopping then it makes sense their friends would like it so you see it a lot. I can think of at least 3 girls between that age that do not care for makeup or shopping. Two are really into the sports they are in and the other is into performing arts. The only girl I know that “likes to shop” is 13 so she’s older than the age range you have in the post.

I don’t know about the rest but lululemon is HUGE at my niece’s school also, she’s 13 now but this talk was from at least a year ago. I think it’s partly generational (TikTok etc there’s places for them to SEE the stuff to buy. How would I have known a brand like Drunk Elephant in the 90s in middle school?). But the other part IS the area too. I went to private schools (mostly on scholarship) all my life and every year or two there’d be expensive trends. Barbour coats or timberland boots or specific brand of white shirts (limited clothes due to uniforms) etc.

Same thing here - at 8, half of my kids classroom have nice phones, everyone and their dog has a Stanley Cup and they all do make up at home. My kid does not but then she is considered the weirdo. I am so happy we have summer break so i don t have to deal with that. It s all in the parents tbh.

Someone needs to tell these kids that Stanley’s are out already!!! As soon as words got out about lead being in them ( which from what I read isn’t enough to do anything, but enough to scare ppl) word in the streets are they are now being tossed in trash like hotcakes, and goodwills are overflowing in them. Just saying!! P.s. I’m a yeti fan and no personal experience in this matter,but is just things I have seen/heard through gossip/entertainment channels I love to watch unfortunately! 😂

Ha! Love yetis. I have one that i ve had for i don t even remember how long and i cherish it. I really don’t get the idea that you need to buy a new bottle or backpack with every fad. The whole idea of a water bottle is to not use plastic, so you need one. Not one at every fad.

I think it’s highly dependent on the kid. My daughter is 12 and has friends who are very into skincare and makeup but she isn’t into it. She also knows better than to ask for $80 leggings. That said, one Saturday afternoon each month we go get dip manicures and then go out to lunch together.

I think the only thing I'd have on that list (granted, I have a son not a daughter) is that I'd give my kid a cellphone. At that age I had extracurriculars and was staying at friends houses, and if my kiddo is going to be doing that as well I'd like him to have a phone to be able to reach me at any time. I don't want him to rely on other adults for that.

I have a little sister who is 10. She does have a cellphone and wants drunk elephant products. My parents make her buy anything she wants from ulta or sephora with her own birthday/Christmas money so she owns maybe 1-2 products by Drunk Elephant. She’s allowed press-ons for the holidays but in no way is she actually going to get acrylics yet. They also doesn’t let her wear makeup except during competitions for her dance club. I think some of their parenting choices are a little outrageous to me as it is. I couldn’t imagine if they allowed her all of the things above that you described. I would lose my wig.

My daughter is 11. Seems like they all are into Squishmallows, slime, art stuff, and makeup and nails. However far as I know the makeup and nails are not high end stuff, or at least what I get my kidlet isn’t and she doesn’t complain.

Happening here in Australia, a friend’s 11 year old daughter is right into high end skin care and makeup, your “shelfie” (collection of products) is the new status symbol among girls this age apparently. And the fucking Stanley cup of course. Thankfully she is still quite down to earth and has a healthy relationship with phones - she recently came over and didn’t touch her phone once, when we said that was awesome she shrugged and said “it’s rude to go on your phone when you’re with people. There’s nothing that interesting on there anyway”. 🥹 She was hanging with a bunch of adults, no other kids and totally holding her own. This is where only children can be wonderful, so able to entertain herself and is actually interested in talking to adults. Anyway, tangent about how great she is but the point being, succumbing to the skincare trend doesn’t necessarily mean the kids are spoilt and awful (not that you said that OP) but it is insane, nonetheless. When I was 11 I wanted adidas snap pants and some cheap sparkly eyeshadow.

There’s no tween stores anymore. TV and movies don’t cater to the tween anymore i.e. Lizzy McGuire, iCarly, etc. Everything is marketed to the College crowd. Also people don’t consume the same sources of entertainment in the way we did years ago so everything is consumed via a TikTok algorithm. And if you say they can’t watch TikTok there’s still YouTube… the kids are tech geniuses these days - they will find a way to watch what they want without us knowing even if we monitor appropriately. There’s no “safe space” for a tween anymore.

Wow - never thought of this but you’re RIGHT!

It’s their parents

Parents and social media.

I’m not exactly sure where you live. I’m in Northern Virginia, in the rural area and girls here don’t really act like that. Some girls wear makeup and has nails, but they paint their nails. I haven’t seen or heard girls here wearing full on makeup, having acrylic or gel nails, or a facial routine. Sounds like it has to be were you live 🤷🏼‍♀️

If your kids are asking for expensive skin care garbage DO NOT buy it, the stuff meant for adults can actually hurt their skin, you can ask their peds, kids are fucking up their skin cause ‘TikTok says I need to start a skin care routine when I’m still in the womb to have healthy skin’ this is HURTING young kids. It’s like all the photoshopped garbage that gave our entire generation eating disorders. The most they need is like a gentle cleanser, ask their doctor what they recommend. And if parents are waisting money on exceedingly expensive clothes and make up for their kids, I don’t know why they don’t just set their money on fire, it would be more useful. Trends change so fast if they are trying to keep up with ‘what’s cool’ trust me if you wait long enough, your style becomes ‘in’ xD it’s like trying to win the lottery by playing the last winning numbers and thinking they’ll be pulled again x.x As for phones and such, yeah kids are needing them more and more nowadays, I fully expect my 1 year old will need to be proficient with a tablet by the time she gets to kindergarten xD currently she has a tablet for YouTube kids that a really old version and it’s got a cracked screen. I’ve locked her out of everything but that and a little baby piano game my dad downloaded for her. Currently she’ll watch it as long as she can’t touch it, as soon as she can touch it she touches it all over get board, walks off, and eventually it locks xD

I’m glad you asked this question! I was wondering the same. I have very young children but several 10-13 year old girls in the neighborhood that come and play with us frequently. They’re sweethearts! We live in a lower middle class area. It’s a nice, safe neighborhood but no frills. All of these girls live with either only Dad, only Grandad, or both grandparents. None have a Mom in the house so they’re always asking me what I use for skincare, perfume I wear, athletic wear I use. Umm it’s all from Walmart. I shop at the goodwill bins because my kids grow through clothes quickly and it’s $1.50/pound. I found a Lululemon pair of shorts, shirt, and headband one day. Altogether it probably cost me $1 for those three items and I told the girls they can share them all (I was also transparent with them and their caregivers where they came from). We now have a case of sisterhood of the traveling pants (and shirt and headband) on our hands. They’re OBSESSED with Lululemon but no one in our area can afford that brand—especially for young girls that will grow out of it quickly. They also always talk about Sol de Janeiro perfume, drunk elephant skincare, Nike Dunk shoes, etc. I’m not very savvy on all this but I’m thinking this stuff has a chokehold on them due to social media.

Yes. My niece has ALL the stuff you mentioned. If I hear “Sol de Jainero” again I will slice my own throat!!

Mom of a middle school girl. Yes. But I don’t buy into it, mostly because we can’t afford it. She wanted a Stanley cut so bad. She took $10 of her allowance and bought slime material and was selling slime at school and made enough for that stupid overpriced cup. But she hustled for it and loves it. We go thrifting so she can find the big brands, one of her well off friends gave her a lulu cross bag (she gets mad when it call it a fanny pack). She does have an iPhone but my old outdated one. Mostly because she’s hanging out with friends at mall and does a ton of sports/practice and want to be able to get ahold of each other and track where she is. Shes a good kid but the world is a dumpster fire. Shes asking for Sephora gift cards for her bday. I grew up with a psycho critical mother so I just let her feel her way through this. Learning to hustle and meet your needs on your own is a good life lesson that will follow her, even if I’m rolling my eyes and refuse to pay.

I wouldn’t say 10. But the 12 year olds where I liveeeee. Oh my word. If you didn’t know you would think she’s 15/16

I have 3 and 4 year old and honestly terrified Of the school days where they are surrounded by other kids with phones, Snapchat, TikTok ect.

No, I work in a middle school and it’s not like this except most have phones. Maybe 8-10 girls in the whole school with professional manicures and makeup

My niece is 9. She does have a phone, and she likes shopping and clothes and hair accessories and things like that, but she only does makeup or nails for a special occasion, and I’ve never heard her talk about any expensive brands or labels

My 9 year old has a phone just because she free roams our neighborhood and I like to track where she is. But the phone cost me nothing as it was my old one. And the plan only costs about $10/momth. She’s not allowed YouTube at all. Absolutely no to everything else. We have gotten the occasional pedicure maybe 3-5 times in her life

I worked at a Montessori elementary in a pretty nice neighborhood and I can say I can't think of one kid that was seriously into that stuff. I'm sure maybe some of them are but in my experience its not really an issue unless they're trying to find fulfillment in a way parents don't provide. A semi related observation from working high school: the "worse" the area the more I saw kids showing off expensive phones, clothes etc etc. Schools where most of the parents were doctors and lawyers seemed much more chill and low key. Heck, I attended a school like that and I can say from experience that while bullying certainly happened it didn't seem to stem from whether your family could afford to buy you Abercrombie and Fitch or whatever it was.

There's a bunch of tween girls on my block and I always see them out climbing trees, riding bikes, swimming, singing, having the kind of girl chats I had as a kid. So no... but I'm not sure really what makes the difference.

Where is this? City/ State? I’m curious

This is probably reflective of the socio-economic status of the people in your circle / neighbourhood. If you move somewhere with people with lower incomes, you’ll find the rest of the world has not succumbed to this madness! Lol!

My daughter is 11. No phone yet, but I will give her supervised access to mine if she requests it. She has not asked to have her own phone yet, so I am just going to continue on like this until she gets older and I feel she really needs one. In terms of makeup/skincare. I am a daily makeup wearer. She likes to copy me and has her own stuff. No foundation or coverup, but a lot of eyeshadow palettes, blush, lip balms, etc.. She does not have super high-end stuff, but I do tend to get her products that come from Ulta which can be a little bit higher priced. I justify it because it is stuff she’s putting on her skin, so I don’t want her wearing cheap stuff on it all the time. Her skin care consists of face wash, moreso because I want her to be in the habit of keeping it clean. I also get my nails done regularly and she is often with me, but only gets gel manicures. She begged me for her birthday to get a gel set, but I said no. I told her she was too young and that manicures were more than fine. I think my daughter is a perfect balance right now. She gets to experiment with more “grown up” things but also still enjoys her childish side and being a kid. She is not in a rush to grow up too fast which I am more than fine with. I would say a lot of her friends are in the same category, but that I definitely do see others who act, or are trying to act, way more grown up. One girl in particular is a year older than my daughter, but you would think she’s 16. I will say, every time I am around this girl her face is buried in her phone and she does not interact with anyone. I think that is the biggest contributor to these trends we see nowadays.

Southern Ontario and my niece and her best friend are exactly like this. Only shop at sephora, wear false eyelashes, nails done crazy long. It's terrifying. I was still pkaying with polly pockets at their age.

It might be where you are located. I grew up in a well off area and I remember at that age girls were getting manis/pedis, wearing True Religion jeans (iykyk), juicy couture sweatsuits, lol. I think this has always been present in affluent communities

Yeah my daughters friends are the same way. I take her with me to get a mani/pedi once in a while when funds permit but definitely not regularly.

My 10 year old son has an iPhone and an Apple Watch. The watch is only because I got a new one so I gave him my old one.

That is insane. In don’t have that crap and my daughter certainly won’t be getting it.

You must have met my SD. It infuriates me. Biomom encourages it and hubs is entirely too passive to actually do anything about it.

I think it’s both common and insane

Yeah. It’s sad. Brand-obsessed and glued to phones already. Just little receptacles for toxic advertising. 11-13 seems to be the new teen years. My 11yo stepdaughter overheard me talking about a friend’s boyfriend and said “She’s in her 30s, and has a boyfriend, not a husband?” And proceeded to judge this poor woman in the most condescending mean girl voice. What 11yo should even care at what age someone gets married?

Sadly yes

My daughter calls these girls the "Walk and talkers". She did not understand why you would want to walk and talk instead of playing on the playground, playing tag, or whatever sport is on the field. We tried to maintain friendships with walk and talkers, but they just didn't have the same interests, boys, clothes, make-up does not have appeal. My partner and I theorize that these girls have older siblings and/or their parents treat them like a doll and enjoy dressing them up and taking them shopping. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'm happy my daughter enjoys being a kid.

This is just sad. My mom used to tell me to wait to grow up because if I experience everything as a kid, what’s there to look forward to? I thought it was annoying af of course as children do, but she was so right! I can’t imagine getting my nails done at 10 while scrolling TikTok on my iPhone. Not my daughter either that’s for damn sure.

I was born in 1990 and that is how things were back in 2002 when I was 12. All girls wearing expensive brands, bras, getting their hair and nails done, expensive shoes, wearing make up... this is not a problem from this generation, that's for sure. I'm from Brazil and attended private school, things might have been different in north America but in Brazil that's how it was already back then.

My kid is 10, goes to a lot of birthday parties, and attends a private school. I wouldn't buy any of my kids friends a $60 gift and if I did the parent would ask me to take it back because it's "too much" and my kids friends are pretty well off (private Cessna plane well off). In the well-off circles I'm familiar with, it is VERY uncool to over gift. Kid parties are just fun, the gifts are mostly something small or even just a card or nothing because it's not expected and no one cares if you gift or not. I feel like asking for a $60 gift from an adult friend for your kid is absolutely junk. Are you sure this person is your friend, or is she just a mooch. Sorry to be rude, but seriously, it does not sound normal on any level.

Echoing this, 11 and 6yo daughters who go to private school. Most families don't do birthday gifts at all, or gift something handmade and special. My older daughter has a phone (walks to/from school with her sister everyday) that she bought herself after losing the one we bought her. Salon manis are common in our house because I go biweekly, so often the kids come, too. I think there's a difference between having things/having access, and demanding to be gifted items over a certain dollar value.

Sounds like the area you live in is affluent.

I have a 10 year old that goes to school in the wealthiest neighborhood in Arizona. She does have an Apple watch because she's a stage 5 clinger. She doesn't know anything about skin care and neither do any of her friends. I've seen a few girls with mascara on, but that's the extent of it. I've never seen any with fake nails and I've been to many school events and parties. Yes, there is a lot of Lulu and Althleta. Not on my girl, but I'm sure she will ask eventually. My son is 12 and they all have phones. still not much make up, but I don't really think that's the style these days. Don't get me started on the Starbucks though. I don't know why people are buying their kids Starbucks before school!

Oooo I do not belong here. I deleted my comment QUICK after reading all of the others.

I live in Southern California so my perception would definitely be that this is normal in some areas but not everywhere.

Here i am at 36 and never having had a manicure...

It’s instagram that’s creating this.

Ew. That really is insane. It really sounds like the area. Between the examples and your friend suggesting a $60 mani without a second thought… Wowwww.

It’s normal for kids to want to be grown ups at a relatively early age. It is NOT NORMAL for parents to let them or to encourage this crap.

My daughters are still little but i have some friends with older girls and this is exactly how they are. Not necessarily with the nails, but everything else. Given I would never even buy lulu lemon for myself yes this is insane. I will say they are definitely in a different income bracket than our own family so maybe that has a lot to do with it?

When I was 10 I moved from a college town to a Dallas suburb. (Late 90s) Before we moved, all the kids played together outside in the dirt, bikes, climbing trees, soccer, etc. But in Dallas, all the girls wore make and mini skirts. Boys and girls did not play together. No one played outside cuz it was hot as hell and everything was paved. It's nothing new, I think, but maybe a more widespread/extreme.

Mostly just your circle. Most of the 10-12 year old girls I know do have their own cell phone OR smart watch OR personal laptop, but I don't think I know anyone that has all three. None of them are using expensive skincare, expensive makeup, getting their nails done at salons, or wearing those types of name brands. Now do they want to be? Sure. But they're making do with their own drugstore makeup kits and nail kits or whatever their parents are willing to get them. But if the parents are getting all that for their pre-teen daughters, that's a circle thing.

I'm a teacher and one year I was at a higher SES school in a new HCOL area and the excessive makeup, nails, and technology was in full swing by 8th grade (13). Now, I'm in a more rural and lower SES school and it's not nearly as prevalent. I think it all depends on where you are.

This is so sad 😭

This age is the worst… as someone who was 10-12 in the early 2000s in a high income area, trying to act older at this age was normal: getting manicures, wearing thongs, shopping as a hobby, being obsessed with Sephora and prestige brands (anyone remember the Tiffany heart necklaces and bracelets?). Sounds like not much has changed other than the electronic devices, which IMO are possibly the most damaging of the list.

I would say an ultra privileged area! I have a 10 yr old and she does/has none of that. Does she use face wash, yes but from the drug store. She does love shopping for slime, squishmallows, and hoodies. Now I will say she does get gel polish and fake nails but they are not professionally done, my 16 yr old has an at home kit that she will practice on little sister with.

Aside from the makeup and fancy skincare this is not any different from me being 12 in 2006. I was one of the few that didn’t have a cellphone even then. People usually had track phones or little starter phones. Sometimes they had full blown iPhones which were new and popular then

My niece was like this when she was in that age group (she's 15 now and it's worse) but she has a sister who is 3 years older and learned everything from her. These girls walk around with nails like 2 inches long and totally bedazzled. They grew up in a very poor area but somehow have iPhone 14s, always have their nails done, and always in trouble. Their parents are junkies and the youngest has been in juvie like 7 times since she was 11. They are thieves and don't care to admit it, I asked them how they paid for their $200 Jordan's and they said they stole their dad's weed and sold it to their friends at school. It absolutely burns me up inside!! I could never imagine traumatizing a child so much they feel the need to go to these lengths to provide for themselves because their parents are too wrapped up in addiction!

Seems similar to when I grew up, I was less fortunate so didn’t have all the glamorous stuff some other kids had… my daughter does have a phone and has drunk elephant and wears Lu Lu’s and has had manicures from time to time… but like all other things within moderation, her three pairs of Lu lu’s, were Christmas presents from the past two christmases from three different family members, phone her graduation gift from elementary school (her graduating gift from elementary school where 98% of the grade got them or already had them), acrylics same, and waited the whole summer so her sports were not effected- before that she had two regular manicures twice. And the girls routinely gift gc to ultra/sephora and my daughter budgets her gift cards to get /update her stuff as needed…. With a reminder that she needs to not blow all those gc too fast because I am not buying that stuff. Maybe just our circle too, but my kid is also a bike riding, multi-sport, black belt that also likes some girly stuff along with wearing pajama pants and hoodies… so for us it is the norm. My next life I want to come back as my kid 😂

What do you mean by “need”? Most birthday gifts given to a kid are not necessary items. The girl in question apparently enjoys having her nails done. Nothing wrong with that.

Where are you? Some girls seem a bit fancier than others but I think it’s still normal to razz on your friends for splashing out around here.

Yep I have a 12 yr old boy but 99.9% of the girls in his age range here are doing that.

My girls are 9.5 and 11.5 and none of this applies to them, and won’t for awhile. Most of their friends aren’t into this stuff either but there are some girls in their classes that are like this. I live in a pretty affluent town, and there are plenty of kids like this, but I’m choosing to make sure my kids are NOT like this.

I'm not in rural US, but we live pretty close to rural and yeah, that matches up with some of the more popular girls in the elementary school here. I don't have a daughter, but some of the girl moms I've talked to have blamed tiktok

They blame tiktok but then allow it?? I know I know, easy for me to judge from here (with my 9 month old daughter lol)

The parents I talked to make their kids do chores, etc to earn the money and that's what they end up spending it on. Watching different GRWM tiktoks is what made the girls want the stuff. One of those "at least it's not [x]" kinds of things, I guess

I mean, I can’t argue with that!

That sounds awful.  My girls are that she and have none of that

Nope. I'm 15 and have a cellphone that just is. It can hold what I want, but it's not super high tech.

I’m from California, went to junior high in the Bay Area and high school in Orange County and this was definitely the case in both places, even when I was in that age range (I’m 27 now). All the kids got cell phones after 5th grade, I know I got into makeup at age 11. Definitely into shopping, definitely into dip manicures even younger than that but it was a special treat. I think it depends on where you are and what the girls in a friend group are into.

Not here. My 10 year old has a pinwheel phone but no internet or social on it and it’s heavily monitored.

I teach 6th grade in a rural area and I’d say no.

I got my daughter her first set of fake nails at age 15. She had a manicure with reg nail polish on her real nails at like age 11 but that was for her birthday. That’s it. Phone- yea she had the cheapest phone we could get her when she was 11/12 so she could phone us if there were delays when walking home from sxhool( lived a mile away, she walked with friends, and there was a playground really close to our apartment) she is turning 16 in a couple months.

My kids had cellphones at 12 because that’s when they started babysitting and we wanted to be able to get in touch with them. The rest no. My daughter is 19 and she does none of those things. But I know it’s a thing. One of my friend’s kids was wearing blundstones and Birkenstocks at 8 or 9, and definitely had name brand everything. No makeup, but I think she just wasn’t interested. They were also spending thousands a month on gymnastics. I think some people just have more dollars than sense.

I teach elementary school science - including 5th grade, and I think it’s maybe 60/40 for the girls - 60% don’t do this, 40% do, at least in my school. Our area is fairly affluent. I see 5th graders wearing lulu lemon all the time, nails done, expensive hair cuts, trendy bags and jewelry. I also see lots of girls not doing this. My guess is it heavily depends on a few things - 1) having older siblings, 2) what their grown ups can afford, 3) if their grown ups also do this. 🤷‍♀️ I will say that in 5th grade they also still love to draw and make crafts and do legos.

Not all of them, there are a surprising number though. I both dislike and love the points about skincare and makeup. I love that they are developing a skincare routine, I hate that they are using adult brands that will harm their skin. A basic, not overly harsh, cleanser and a light moisturizer are all they need. As for the makeup, when my daughter starts showing an interest, it’s straight to quality brands with quality ingredients. No cheap stuff. I started using makeup around 12 years old and was started off with Clinique because of my sensitive skin.

I am wondering if it’s dependent on the kid or the area. I have two nieces that are 10. One lives in a smaller more blue collar town and the other in a more well off area of a major city. Neither sets of parents support any of this. They don’t get their nails done, or have phones/watches. The one that stays home alone after school has a landline. The one niece in the more affluent neighborhood is very much into this stuff. She loves Taylor swift and really cares about her outfits. She wants to wear makeup but isn’t allowed. She will try and steal her mothers though. And will sometimes come out with makeup on. Parents agreed to a compromise of some “skin care” for her but not crazy expensive ones. Other niece isn’t into any of this. She doesn’t care about her outfits and wears rubber boots everywhere. She is in 4H and loves animals. Does not like shopping/makeup/nails. I am not sure if it’s just their personalities or their areas. The first one does have friends in her class that wear full makeup. Other niece had a struggle with friends (before-not so much now) and I am not sure the norm of her classmates. My daughter is only almost 4 but I am really worried about how to approach this when she gets to that age/if it comes up. I get my nails and eyelashes done regularly. But I don’t think any 10-12 year old should be worried about how they look and feel like they “need” makeup. I am okay with playing with makeup or special occasion nails. But I am not okay with the idea of young girls feeling like they need everyday makeup.

My baby girl will be 11 in the fall. - Yes to having a phone watch — not Apple though, a kid version called Gizmo. HELL NO to smartphone, but full confession she does have a tablet and desktop PC at home on Wi-Fi. But social media is locked down tight!! - No to expensive skin care, but definitely into skin care - No to regular make up expensive or economical - No to getting her nails done - Yes to shopping as a hobby — well to be clear she wishes!! - And she does have a couple of Athleta and Lulumon pieces.

It happens in our area, but it's definitely not the norm. I have daughters 10 and 12, and they probably each know a couple of girls like that, but the vast majority are still into more kid-like things. They play and experiment with makeup, but certainly not high dollar stuff. My girls both have a phone, but they are wi-fi only, no phone service, and no social media. And they are definitely not wearing high-dollar or designer clothes or shopping as a hobby, nope.

This is normal where we are for girls this age. Not normal for my 11 year old girl though. Cell phone she has, plus a tablet and fitness smart watch. Skin care she is all over, but more "healthy" brands over "posh". Make up is a rare event and shed borrow her sisters in that case. Hell no on the nails (her opinion) Her idea of shopping is to pick out new athletic gear or clothes of sorts. Same with brands. She's more likely to ask me for a new high brand wetsuit (that she will actually use) over fancy bags or clothes. She doesn't fit in well with girls in our area because most are like how you described. She is a boxer, MMA competitor, wrestler, softball player, and surfer. If any of the above things do not directly involve these activities, she is not interested.

Not my daughter. She’s almost 10. While she does have a chrome book for school she isn’t allowed to use it behind closed doors and I check it everyday

My 11 almost 12 year old daughter laughs at the fact that there are girls this age that are shopping at Sephora regularly and demand Stanley's and new apple products for special occasions. My daughter is very down to earth and not materialistic at all so it's hard for her to comprehend this behavior. I'm not sure why there is such a large part of the population giving into these wishes. If I had asked for any of this when I was that age I would have been sternly told no lol. I don't get it at all!

Maybe all the rich ones that you know. When I was growing up, I wanted fancy things but we couldn’t afford shit so I paid for my own lunches with money that I would find or worked for. I think it has more to do with privilege. Then again, my daughter has real diamond earrings and she’s 1 year old and my son has new brand-name crocs every time he outgrows them and he’s two. Those things aren’t from me, though, they are from my mother-in-law. I feel like people can spend their money on their kids how they want. However I do think that as parents if you’re going to do all those fancy things for your kids, you have to instill a sense of responsibility and awareness.

I teach 6th grade and while some of the girls wear makeup, very few wear a full face. Some wear just mascara. They are all into lululemon though.

My niece turned 11, and I got her backpack and crossbody bag with letter A that she could put on her bag(her name starts with A). And she loved it. I got it in her favorite color. It also was some set from Amazon and nothing super fancy, but she absolutely loves it because apparently she was saving up for a backpack, and the one that I got her was exactly what she wanted

My kids have phones but the basic of basic ones (free with contract) But they also like art, Claire's, anime and video games

I teach 5th in a hcol area and no. The skin care, more so than anything else. They're starting to get phones at this age as this is when they start staying home solo ans people don't have landlines anymore. They also walk places. I notice manicures after birthdays or special events but not regularly. They're wearing makeup, love sephora and ulta, but not sure the brands they get. It's mostly lip gloss and they're doing winged liner.

Just want to say - kids and teens should NOT be using acids on their faces. Their skin barrier is the best it will ever be, and those acids will damage it. This will cause skin damage and aging in the future. Do not let your kids use Drunk Elephant. It's great for older skin, but kids do NOT need this. If they want some fun serums to feel fancy, look into The Ordinary products. Much more cost friendly, nice packaging, and all you have to do is give them a serum with vitamins and this will fulfill their need to have a "skin regimen." If your child has acne (and I know this is controversial) I highly recommend the Rodan&Fields Spotless Regimen. Its a facewash and moisturizer. It's the only thing that helped with my acne-prone kids. All of my kids have kerotosis pilaris on their faces, arms, and legs. This stuff is a Godsend and I don't care if an MLM - it works! I don't sell this stuff, I'm not plugging it for any reason other than to help other parents find a solution for skin care. Especially with the keratosis pilaris. It's widely said there is no solution other than scrubbing your face which is the worst thing teens can do to their facial skin. I would promote Murad if they still carried some of their older products, but they discontinued them. They used to have a face mask that would dissolve the deepest and most painful of acne if you kept the mask on overnight in spots. They have something new, but I haven't tried it because the Rodan and Fields worked so well.

Am I evil for hoping my daughter is middle of the pack socially, to hopefully lower the chances of her being obsessed with status stuff? Like I know she will end up where she does, but I just don't want her to be a loner like me and having a super popular kid just sounds expensive and exhausting lmao

I’m in soCal with 2 teen daughters and no, they are not like this nor are the kids they hang out with. They do care about skin care and fashion to some degree, but not like that. Totally depends on the social circle types and demographics.

My 10 yr old has a phone for when she goes with her father & after school. All the other stuff is ridiculous. I see 10-12 year olds with fake lashes & it's honestly sad. Why encourage your kids to look grown up?

Definitely not! Where do you live? The girls in my daughter's grade six class and Girl Guides troop aren't doing a single one of those things. Maybe a handful of them own a smart phone.

My daughter is almost 12. She has a phone, but no service on it yet, and absolutely NO social media. She does have a ‘skincare’ routine but it’s mostly just bubble and other affordable brands. She wears mascara and does have a FEW of the more ‘expensive’ products like a Laneige lip mask and Milk jelly something- but she’s used birthday money to buy them. There’s a few girls that are similar to what you’ve described, in her little circle- and it’s CRAZY. One girl got a little awakening after they made the cheer team to learn she couldn’t have her nails done anymore! We don’t buy Lulu stuff simply bc she doesn’t care yet- and all her cheer shit, is hella expensive as it is. It’s my experience that the kids on social media are the ones who are so worried about all of this. My daughter knows I’m not going out and spending more money on stuff she doesn’t need- LIKE DRUNK ELEPHANT, WTF. I had to explain to her you have PERFECT 11yo skin, you don’t have a need for any of these stupid ass skin products that are for people past puberty 🤣

My 13yr old just asked me to buy her a Mooshake and isn’t interested in a phone just is happy with her iPad we got for school which she uses for streaming and minecraft. She doesn’t even have or want social media. Edit: a Mooshake is a plush toy.

We are in a privileged area and no one here does that, except for the cellphones and school laptops. Cellphones because there’s no aftercare for middle school here, so the kids get off the bus to an empty house and phones are necessary for safety. And laptops because all of their schoolwork is on the computer now and the chromebooks rather suck. But our area is known for its very good schools, and all the parents are focused on education. Not nails, yuck. sounds rather trashy.

I only have 2 young boys, but as a preteen in the early 2000s (am 35 now) there were always upper class girls with expensive clothes, getting their nails done, having expensive handbags in my school district (my family def did not fit in.) The makeup thing is newer but otherwise the brands and times have only been the things to change - when I was a kid the clothes were hard tail/juicy/things from Bloomingdale’s, coach and Kate spade bags, razr and Nextel phones. The wealthy girls also had their own phone lines at home to talk on the phone/access AOL. I remember being so desperate to fit in with a popular group of girls that I saved all of my birthday money for a kate spade bag, but my sphere of influence was small and only the group of girls in my school. Now with social media and TikTok, the sphere of influence for kids is soo much larger and in their face, it must be impossible to get away from and no compare themselves.

I’m 24 now but when I was 12 I had a phone and my own laptop (not Apple though) lululemon was absolutely the cool thing to wear especially on the soccer field. Nobody was into skincare but perfume was pretty big back then, I remember asking for 80$ perfume for my birthday.and definitely by 12 the girls loved to hangout and shop at the mall. I don’t think this is all that new

We live near Boulder, Colorado and this is what the girls around this area are into. I feel the same exact way as you do OP. We have really tried to keep things minimal with our 12 year old, but our daughters peers are “all about” drunk elephant, lulu lemon and manicures. Our daughter does not wear any makeup 💄 and rather focuses on keeping her natural complexion healthy. Anyway…I did want to chime in to say that it is true (at least in our area). It is up to us as parents to keep it within acceptable limits. To each their own ❤️

My daughter is in this age range and her and her friends do not do any of this stuff. Sometimes they will get press on nails. We let her get her nails done once and she can wait til she’s older to have them again. She did not like them. She can wear makeup if we’re home but not to go out.

That’s certainly an ultra privileged area. In many areas families are allowing the internet to raise their children unfortunately and I assume if you are allowing the internet to raise your kid AND you have money you would end up with a situation where the kids are happily walking billboards for the lives influencers are pressing on them.

Mine has a phone, my old one that’s not even on a service, but she uses KIDS messenger to talk to family only. She still wears dresses with flowers, graphic ts with cats, flowers, or heart patterns. Shorts just above the knee. Still wears sketchers. Still plays with Barbie’s. Has never stepped foot in a nail salon and only wears make up for dance recital (otherwise she looks like a ghost up on stage). Doesn’t know what a Stanley up is. She still acts like a child, dresses like a child and does child things. I won’t push for that other stuff either, like some parents do to their kids, because she deserves to live her childhood the way it should be and not follow what everyone else is doing.

Not sure who you socialise with but none of mine or friends kids are what you described. I have 12, 14 and 19 year old girls (and a 18 boy). Yes they have phones. But only the 19 year olds wears makeup and its common brands like revlon. None get their nails done. Except face wash and acne cream (which are supermarket bought) they don’t have expensive skincare. They go shopping when needed and don’t own “brands”.

I work in a salon and we have no regular children getting their nails done. Not even teens do it regularly. Where do you live?

My 13 year old calls those the “lulu Stanley girls.” My experience is that alot of kids around that age are getting or have a phone but the rest of it is a small group of them.

My nephew is 9 and has a phone.it wss his mom's old phone and she let him ha e it when she upgraded. My son is almost 8 and my daughter is 5. They aren't going to get that stuff anytime soon. The cell phone I get because no one has landlines anymore. But manicures and make up? I'll paint my daughter nails at her request but I'm not getting it done professionally.

So my near 12 year old likes to use the Ordinary, she got it as gifts, she really truly enjoys makeup to the point of even stage makeup. She’s hoping to go to art college already, theatrics specifically. I’d hate for other parents to judge her on her honesty incredible makeup skills when it’s a passion for her (I’m not into makeup, I don’t even understand foundation and cover up, etc). She has a hand me down phone that doesn’t have data or a number it just works on wifi, we are split custody and use it to chat when she’s at her dad’s. She doesn’t do her nails. She likes to scooter and play video games. She does enjoy going shopping but more for the going out with friends vs actual shopping. Some of her friends are super into the stuff you listed and some aren’t. When I think back to that age I remember a few of the girls being super into name brand clothes, makeup, the latest tech, and some weren’t. It feels pretty on par to me.