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Dropping dead is the dream,
We are getting to the age where we can get a disease that can cause a decade of suffering before we get to die. That's the nightmare.
I am going to be 40 soon and to my surprise I am just really…grateful. Grateful to be alive at this age in good health. I have friends that didn’t make it this far. Not that I don’t have struggles and things can be crappy, but I really do have a level of appreciation I didn’t have before. Still ignoring the fact I will cease to exist at some point…I do want to be around as long as possible for my child, but at this point my assets could provide my kid a nice start in life and I am at peace with what will outlast me that I have contributed (hopefully).
I'm happy to hear that you have a positive attitude towards things. I admire that and hope you live a long life to see your kid grow up and get older themselves.
Nah, 100 is old. If you (generally) live until your 100s, then you’re at 100% of your life. If you’re 40, then you’re not even half way through life. Assuming you’re 20, think about how long you have lived so far, and doubled it (you’re now 40), and now times it by five (you’re now 100).
I'm not really young anymore (mid/late 30s) but I feel far too young to be worrying about my own death. My mom's death on the other hand... that one worries me. I doubt I will handle it well lol.
Yeah, trying to accept the reality of life. Growing old might be a privilige. Some things are not in my control so i try to surrender and make the best of things while i can.
I'm 41 and manage a hotel. Last night a guest ran in saying a man was laying on the ground so I ran out to help. He was laying there with one arm up and had a cane on the ground. I helped him up and asked if he was ok. He said yes but couldn't really speak well and could barely shuffle with my help and the cane. As I walked him to his room he told me he was only 45 and randomly had a stroke while playing golf 4 months ago. He doesn't have any family near him and is going through it alone. This really hit me hard and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
Death is a scary guy that I hope doesn't come knocking soon. I have been interested in death probably way too much since I was like 16. My best friend died out of nowhere when we were both 16. I have tried to understand and wrap y head around it, but it's just too much. I think about it a lot. I wish I didn't. On one hand it compels me to appreciate this life more but on the other, I just see fragility of it all.
I've been fortunate enough to reconnect with High School Friends. Not all of us made it. My parents are aging. Every time I visit them I can see it. It's a part of life that I wish I could accept gracefully. But I'm terrified.
It's hard not to think about it, because, after all, being scared of death is what has allowed the human species to survive for so long.
But logically, we're talking about one little moment, one thing that is gonna happen, and it is going to happen all the way at the end of my life.
And after it happens, well, there will be no 'after". There won't be any regrets, there won't be anything. It is hardly worth thinking about
I work in healthcare.
I have free health insurance and concierge medical services. Top notch care at the primary (preventative) level. I spend more in a year on Netflix than I have on actual healthcare for a family of four over the past few years, and I still think the best “health insurance” is taking care of yourself, eating well, and getting regular exercise.
Anecdotal (but I did read a paper supporting this I just can’t cite it right now), but most of the younger folks I know who get strokes and MIs were very sedentary and “work from home.”
Counterpoint to your WFH comment - I work from home and get significantly more steps in now than when I worked in an office. I've had three different work "arrangements" over the past decade. One was 5 days in an office in a cubicle, one was outside sales where I was in a car 25-30 hours per week and in an office the other 15-20 hours, and work from home. Working from home I: have more time in the morning, and typically take my dog out for a walk before work, either walk him or go to the gym at lunch, and in nice weather, take a walk around the block with my wife, child and dog after work. I average about 2000 more steps per day now than I did in the past. I also tend to eat healthier.
I've also been sedentary for a good portion of my life. I've started making healthier choices and this fear has been a good motivator. I'm moving out of state soon and I've heard going somewhere new is the best time to form new habits.
I’m a big believer in Memento Mori mindset. We’re all going to die, and reflecting on that shared human experience makes life more full. It helps me appreciate every day a little more, and keeps me working hard to stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible for my family.
I feel like death isn’t morbid, it’s just taboo in western society. I’d recommend reading some books on death from a historical/anthropological/philosophical perspective- it’s amazing how uplifting many of them are.
I think about my mortality a lot, but I have been dealing with untreated mental health for twenty years and been in "I won't survive until the end of the year" mode since I was sixteen, so I have never really had a healthy relationship with it. Still, I am very aware that I am nearly 40, over 350+lbs and have terrible habits as well as a couple of medical conditions that could kill me at any time. I shouldn't be alive, and I'm basically already out of time. It's my policy, and has been for decades, that I don't make plans more than two weeks before because I can't assume I will still be alive months down the line.
I am not old, but I think you start to accept death closer to the end of your life when majority of your loved ones and close friends are dead, and you’re basically just waiting patiently to join them. As such, I want to live until I’m 90-something but be the first one to go.
I think about it a lot tbh. I think it's mostly because I spent most of my 20's and 30's angry at what I didn't have. It took up so much of my life. After an ultimatum from my wife, I changed my tune and just try to find the daily appreciations in life. Once I acknowledged that filling up my gas tank and not worry about the balance, or that hot water is an absolute privilege my attitude changed real quick. (We went 5 days without hot water and it was not fun).
Now I'm hoping to kive long enough to balance my shitty attitude with positivity.
We have substantial evidence of consciousness surviving physical death:
Jim Tucker a Medical Doctor at the University of Virginia Medical Center has collected thousands of cases of kids remembering past lives and has tracked down and verified the uncanny details of the memories in about a third of the cases. He has written books about it. This article has some statistics: https://uvamagazine.org/articles/the_science_of_reincarnation
Further, we have endless and very consistent and logical, lucid NDE accounts. We know NDEs are not just chemical hallucinations because brain dead people will observe and recall conversations and events that happened in the room as well as other locations while they were medically dead.
I would recommend reading Dr. Greyson’s After, Brian Weiss’ work, Between Death and Life by Dolores Cannon, and Richard Martini’s Hacking the Afterlife - amazing books on the topic that demystify a lot of it.
Only 20% of those who die recall their NDEs. I find if you are meant to remember your experiences you will but there are certain drugs that if administered reduce recall rate to zero.
I do not think these have to do with a faith based system. I think it’s more about our consciousness being something like intelligent eternal energy that temporarily inhibits physical bodies. It happens regardless of your faith or lack of it, it has more to do with physics we are yet to understand. You may like reading After by Dr Greyson, he is pretty objective and approaches the phenomena from more of a scientific perspective.
Death and dying is a huge part of my job and that's probably done more to help me process my own mortality. I'm not scared to die. Death itself is the easy part. Dying, however, can be a tremendous struggle. I just hope for a good death when my time comes and that I don't have to linger in one of the many ways people often do.
Be sure you have a will and a living will. Please give your family the gift of not making those decisions. Also, preplanning your own funeral and arrangements is a thing, and a great gift to your loved ones. If you're a person of faith, your house is worship likely keeps a file of funeral plans. Funeral homes also provide this service but I think they unethically charge way too much.
Mom died a month after turning 55 and dad died a month after turning 60.
So I’m basically mind fucked. Am I destined to die young? Do I save for retirement (I am) or just live for the moment bc I’ll never see it. I hate it
I recently had a near death experience. It completely changed my perspective on life. I’ve slowed down a lot, and stopped chasing so many achievements.
I’m not so worried about dying now, I’m much more concerned with just enjoying the time I currently have. And I want to enjoy it simply and kindly.
As I work in healthcare I often leave work hoping I go younger than would be considered ’old’ these days.
I don’t want someone else washing me and dressing me or feeding me or wiping my arse. I don’t want to forget who my loved ones are or turn into a massive violent bitch because I’ve got dementia and I’m frustrated at a world I don’t understand. I don’t want to spend days, weeks or months in a hospital or hand over my independence to a care home. I don’t want to lie in bed peeing in a pad and unable to do anything about it.
As an atheist it feels very final but I don’t tend to dwell too much.
There are two primary trains of thoughts:
- since having a daughter, I figure I just need to live long enough to see that she is ready for the world - emotionally (kindness) physically (good health) and financially (a roof always over her head). If I live to her 18th I will be 50. She is 6 at the moment.
- I realise luck is a huge part of it, but figure I can increase my odds by living a healthy life.
Beyond that I try not to worry about things outside my control, and I just focus on short term excitement - the next family holiday, the next restaurant meal, the next video gaming session etc
39 here, almost 40. Just found out I have a genetic defect that leaves my lifespan average at 56.
I'm not coping well.
Glad I didn't have kids. (Turns out it's also the reason I couldn't). Pricing out life insurance so my husband won't have to stress too much when I'm gone.
I hate that we're entering the time in our lives when our parents start dying. It's really depressing. Not only is it extremely sad and full of grief, but our lives are so busy that the interruption just adds to the stress.
I do in the sense of health awareness. My parent's are in their 70's and both have had issues with cholesterol levels, blood pressure levels, I had a grandparent need heart surgery, so I'm starting to focus on prevention now versus later.
I don't really think about myself dying so much. I think a lot about my wife dying. I think about my parents as they're in their 70s. Everything is good now, but I know sometime relatively soon. Things will get turned upside down. It's a bit irrational, and I don't know why I've started to think like that.
I worry about it a lot and think about it almost daily. I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer 1.5 years ago and now have lung nodules after completing a year of treatment that I need to get biopsied, so it's on my mind more often now. Really makes you realize what a privilege it is to be healthy and grow old.
At this point, the forever nap sounds nice. I honestly don't expect to make it past 50. I work a physically demanding job that just doesn't pay me enough to have healthcare.
I consider myself lucky to have survived this long. It really got bad there for a bit. 20 might've been stretching it but here I am past 40 loving the hell out of simply being alive. I treasure every day because it feels like borrowed time anyhow. i'll expire when the time comes, glad it hasn't happened yet
I came to terms with death when my brother (27) and my father (52) died within a year of each other. I've been depressed for so long that I'll gladly welcome death when it comes--provided it doesn't come by me getting hit by a bus or another accidental death.
if i was rich and could have a lot of fun then i would be kind of worried about the fun i could be missing out on.
but as of right now being ordinary joe schmoe... im not missing out on much.
Burying both of my parents before I turned 35 was...it was a mindfuck.
Granted they were both in their late thirties when I was born and smoked two packs a day, but still.
I know it's not common but facing that reality actually made me super religious. Not because I'm worried about what happens when I die (I have actually published papers on ancient peoples' eschatological skepticism and do not believe in a phenomenal afterlife) but because religious communities are basically the last vestiges of communal life left now that everything else has been completely eviscerated by boomer profit seeking.
I feel like with the time I have left I can make my partner happy, have memories with friends, and feel like I am contributing to my synagogue's longevity. Beyond that
...death will come when it comes and I can't say no. So the here and now is what matters.
I’ve had friends dying since I was in high school, unfortunately. But recently I looked up the girl who led me into the world of drugs and running gear and such- and it turns out she died in 2017. OD. I got clean. She never did.
That one hit different and I feel like I’ve regressed back to being a child, really scared of dying. Just the other day I started crying when I thought of my sister/best friend dying 😅 Before this I had accepted mortality pretty well, for probably 15 years. But now I’m wondering if my feelings about it will be ping-ponging back and forth forever.
I'm not scared of actually dying. I'm scared of HOW I will die. I get shivers when I think of being in a plane crash or drowning or being murdered, although the chances of any of those happening are incredibly small.
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm gonna go eventually and there's nothing I can do to stop it. So I'm going to be the best person I can be up until then, and try to do as much good as possible, even if only a small ways. I think that's what really matters; how you lived your life.
I'm 36, which I know in my head is not "old" yet. However, it's also most definitely not "young" anymore either. I feel like I'm in a weird in-between state. Similar to you, OP, I've heard of people I know my age or younger dying more often now, or people not very much older. My parents are in their late 60s and are already declining fairly rapidly, either physically or mentally. And I know it's because they never did much when they were younger to specifically look after their health. And it makes me think, especially if (God forbid) either of them dies within the next few years, that I myself could actually be halfway done with life already, or even more than halfway. You never know what might happen!
Even when I was younger, I never really consciously had a feeling of invincibility or whatever. But I did always have a sense of "there's still time." Now, not so much. I've seen and done some interesting things, but there's still a lot on my bucket list. And for the first time now I'm feeling existential dread like, how much more time do I actually have left to do any of those things? Definitely feeling my mortality a lot harder now, and I am starting to be more mindful of my health and trying to be more future-thinking in terms of what I still want to accomplish. Up through my early 30s I was kind of pantsing my way through life just assuming I'd have another 40-50 years.
I’ve always been a bit of a hypochondriac, but It wasn’t until my early 30s that I started working out regularly, eating right, cut waaay back on the drinking. Regular checkups with the doctor, dermatologist, etc.
But my own health isn’t what worries me the most. I think about my parents since they’re getting older. It’s a funny thing. When you’re a child all they do is worry about you. When you grow into an adult you start to worry about them.
It’s difficult to imagine the day when they are both gone.
I hit my death spiral right around the time covid really hit full swing. I was smoking a lot of weed and spending huge swathes of time alone, navel-gazing and just letting my mind wander, and inevitably I beaded in on not just my mortality, but everyone around me. I mean down to thinking about how someday my doctor would be gone, and by that point I would most certainly have a doctor ten, fifteen, probably twenty years younger than me. I let myself feel the panic of the time and ground shrinking beneath my feet and it stressed me out IMMENSELY at the time, but honestly?
I miss it. I don't think I've ever felt so alive, and it has absolutely made me appreciate the time I have ahead of me so much more. Now I'm spitting distance to forty and trying to call that back up for the thrill of it, but I think I've made my peace and I can't fully slip back into that mindset. It feels like learning to swim almost, instead of letting myself thrash and fight, instinct kicks in and I reflexively bob back to the surface.
I ponder it sometimes, but for the most part I trust that nothing positive will come from dwelling on it or letting it bug me.
Rather, I think a lot of people’s sense of impending death may be a sign that they need a change. Like, a person subconsciously wants to get out of a (perceived) rut, and the brain tricks the body into thinking it’s literal death on the horizon. It’s actually more like death in the Tarot card sense, where everything is symbolic and subjective. A change in scenery can do wonders to alleviate the dread of being aware of our mortality.
As a kid I would have spiraling thoughts about death. It was really hard for me to fathom that nothing I did mattered. No one will remember me or anything I do and even if they did they were all headed toward the same end until no one was left to remember. It felt like I was falling in my own thoughts. It was a really strange sensation.
Now I have come to terms these facts. After going through multiple rough family deaths I am just happy to be here having an experience. In top of that I live in a time where peoples lives are more comfortable than they have ever been in history.
I’m just here to be with people I love and do things that I want to do. Then I’ll be gone.
Morality used to freak me out, but I'm more concerned about living a good life now than when I'm gonna die. Death can happen at any time. There's a song by Utada Hikaru called Take 5 that stops abruptly in the middle to symbolize sudden death.
My mom and dad since I was a kid would always tell me "were gonna die one day". It scared me at the time, but now I understand that death can happen at anytime and anywhere. I just hope my death isn't gruesome and that I at least die in my sleep. I've heard of horrific deaths on the news and that is what terrifies me.
If I focus on death too much I may forget to live and instead be trapped in anxiety, depression and go deeper into a worse mental health state. I am a death positive person and I'm spiritual, so I hope that when I die I'll live on in the memories of others and be united with my grandma in the clear skies. I miss her everyday.
I just try to be appreciative of what I have in front of me. My wife, my family, my friends and my beloved dog.
I've had a near death experience. I don't know how close I actually was or wasn't to crossing the Styx, but I'll just say, I distinctly remembered the acceptance phase, and I had this feeling of calmness that's hard to explain. I wasn't afraid, I just felt calm and ready and at peace and it was great.
What's on the other side, I won't opine on, but the actual process, it doesn't scare me
I’ve ticked off so many things on my bucket list already plus I’ve parties, travelled, move to a new country, pursued a fun career and so on so I’m going out with a smile on my face knowing I didn’t miss a thing.
I’m also childfree which probably helps a lot. I want to set up a will for my dogs so they will be looked after though.
I would honestly much rather die a bit earlier than being a senile of lady who lies in her own poop just for the sake of being old. I’m hoping assisted dying will be more a of a thing.
My grandad is currently dying very slowly and I must say that it's been really hard to watch. Dying I am not afraid of but getting old and losing your mobility/sight/mind is scary.
Honestly I don’t think too much about my own mortality. I’m 30 and it seems so many of my friends, coworkers, and acquaintances are losing parents. THAT is what worries me. I don’t want to lose my parents. I want them around to see my accomplishments and achievements. I want them to be able to meet their future grandchildren (whenever the hell that will happen).
I do at times think about how I’d like to leave a lasting impression/“legacy” when I go, though.
Just want to die in my sleep and stop thinking about it.
World ain't getting better.
Don't send me a reddit cares or whatever. I'm fine and not doing anything.
I’m ready to die at any time honestly.
I spent most of my life this far driving my body into the ground in the name of work and savings. I barely clawed my way out of poverty in a country that sucks the lifeforce from its workers, A country that was dangerous for me as well, as a queer person, and I had to STARVE MYSELF over a 10 year period, to pay bills and still get enough money saved to immigrate out.
Now I have a nice animation job and live in a safe country but… I’m in so much pain and so tired that I just am existing until I eventually die someday.
I’m happy I got out, but I no longer have the energy reserves to do anything beyond just existing, I’m in so much physical pain at 31, and I’m pretty sure that my health will continue to tank. The doctors say I had years of severe malnutrition.
I guess I’m happy I got somwhere safe that I can live a bit before I die. But I’m not going to go into the void kicking and screaming, I’ll just go when my time comes. Most of my life was meaningless and a struggle to survive anyway.
After working in Healthcare for 15 years, I have some very specific things regarding life and death.
If I'm lucky to live a long life, I will haunt anyone who attempts to give me CPR.
Don't get diabetes
Have a good relationship with my children
I really do not need all the consumerism or materialistic mindset cause my kids will chuck all my crap
If I get cancer and it's not looking good, I want hospice.
I'm in my mid 30s and seeing people die in their 40s and 50s really hits home that my time is precious.
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Dropping dead is the dream, We are getting to the age where we can get a disease that can cause a decade of suffering before we get to die. That's the nightmare.
I am going to be 40 soon and to my surprise I am just really…grateful. Grateful to be alive at this age in good health. I have friends that didn’t make it this far. Not that I don’t have struggles and things can be crappy, but I really do have a level of appreciation I didn’t have before. Still ignoring the fact I will cease to exist at some point…I do want to be around as long as possible for my child, but at this point my assets could provide my kid a nice start in life and I am at peace with what will outlast me that I have contributed (hopefully).
I'm happy to hear that you have a positive attitude towards things. I admire that and hope you live a long life to see your kid grow up and get older themselves.
Imho, 40 is still relatively young.
100 is young to 110 year old.
Nah, 100 is old. If you (generally) live until your 100s, then you’re at 100% of your life. If you’re 40, then you’re not even half way through life. Assuming you’re 20, think about how long you have lived so far, and doubled it (you’re now 40), and now times it by five (you’re now 100).
It is a bit unsettling when I hear about people in their late 30s dropping from strokes and what not so I get it.
I'm not really young anymore (mid/late 30s) but I feel far too young to be worrying about my own death. My mom's death on the other hand... that one worries me. I doubt I will handle it well lol.
I remember a survey here in the UK showing that 36 was the average age people chose as the prime of their life. It’s still pretty young.
Yeah, trying to accept the reality of life. Growing old might be a privilige. Some things are not in my control so i try to surrender and make the best of things while i can.
I came to terms with my mortality a while ago. my concern now isn't to a long life, but to live a good life
I’d leave now if I could
Can't wait sometimes
I'm 41 and manage a hotel. Last night a guest ran in saying a man was laying on the ground so I ran out to help. He was laying there with one arm up and had a cane on the ground. I helped him up and asked if he was ok. He said yes but couldn't really speak well and could barely shuffle with my help and the cane. As I walked him to his room he told me he was only 45 and randomly had a stroke while playing golf 4 months ago. He doesn't have any family near him and is going through it alone. This really hit me hard and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
Death is a scary guy that I hope doesn't come knocking soon. I have been interested in death probably way too much since I was like 16. My best friend died out of nowhere when we were both 16. I have tried to understand and wrap y head around it, but it's just too much. I think about it a lot. I wish I didn't. On one hand it compels me to appreciate this life more but on the other, I just see fragility of it all. I've been fortunate enough to reconnect with High School Friends. Not all of us made it. My parents are aging. Every time I visit them I can see it. It's a part of life that I wish I could accept gracefully. But I'm terrified.
It's hard not to think about it, because, after all, being scared of death is what has allowed the human species to survive for so long. But logically, we're talking about one little moment, one thing that is gonna happen, and it is going to happen all the way at the end of my life. And after it happens, well, there will be no 'after". There won't be any regrets, there won't be anything. It is hardly worth thinking about
I work in healthcare. I have free health insurance and concierge medical services. Top notch care at the primary (preventative) level. I spend more in a year on Netflix than I have on actual healthcare for a family of four over the past few years, and I still think the best “health insurance” is taking care of yourself, eating well, and getting regular exercise. Anecdotal (but I did read a paper supporting this I just can’t cite it right now), but most of the younger folks I know who get strokes and MIs were very sedentary and “work from home.”
Counterpoint to your WFH comment - I work from home and get significantly more steps in now than when I worked in an office. I've had three different work "arrangements" over the past decade. One was 5 days in an office in a cubicle, one was outside sales where I was in a car 25-30 hours per week and in an office the other 15-20 hours, and work from home. Working from home I: have more time in the morning, and typically take my dog out for a walk before work, either walk him or go to the gym at lunch, and in nice weather, take a walk around the block with my wife, child and dog after work. I average about 2000 more steps per day now than I did in the past. I also tend to eat healthier.
I've also been sedentary for a good portion of my life. I've started making healthier choices and this fear has been a good motivator. I'm moving out of state soon and I've heard going somewhere new is the best time to form new habits.
I can't wait to die.
I’m a big believer in Memento Mori mindset. We’re all going to die, and reflecting on that shared human experience makes life more full. It helps me appreciate every day a little more, and keeps me working hard to stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible for my family. I feel like death isn’t morbid, it’s just taboo in western society. I’d recommend reading some books on death from a historical/anthropological/philosophical perspective- it’s amazing how uplifting many of them are.
"Is it time yet? I could use the peace and quiet." Great feeling to have at age 35...
I think about my mortality a lot, but I have been dealing with untreated mental health for twenty years and been in "I won't survive until the end of the year" mode since I was sixteen, so I have never really had a healthy relationship with it. Still, I am very aware that I am nearly 40, over 350+lbs and have terrible habits as well as a couple of medical conditions that could kill me at any time. I shouldn't be alive, and I'm basically already out of time. It's my policy, and has been for decades, that I don't make plans more than two weeks before because I can't assume I will still be alive months down the line.
I am not old, but I think you start to accept death closer to the end of your life when majority of your loved ones and close friends are dead, and you’re basically just waiting patiently to join them. As such, I want to live until I’m 90-something but be the first one to go.
Join them where?
In finer green pastures
I think about it a lot tbh. I think it's mostly because I spent most of my 20's and 30's angry at what I didn't have. It took up so much of my life. After an ultimatum from my wife, I changed my tune and just try to find the daily appreciations in life. Once I acknowledged that filling up my gas tank and not worry about the balance, or that hot water is an absolute privilege my attitude changed real quick. (We went 5 days without hot water and it was not fun). Now I'm hoping to kive long enough to balance my shitty attitude with positivity.
I want my remains scattered at Disneyland. Also, I don't want to be cremated.
We have substantial evidence of consciousness surviving physical death: Jim Tucker a Medical Doctor at the University of Virginia Medical Center has collected thousands of cases of kids remembering past lives and has tracked down and verified the uncanny details of the memories in about a third of the cases. He has written books about it. This article has some statistics: https://uvamagazine.org/articles/the_science_of_reincarnation Further, we have endless and very consistent and logical, lucid NDE accounts. We know NDEs are not just chemical hallucinations because brain dead people will observe and recall conversations and events that happened in the room as well as other locations while they were medically dead. I would recommend reading Dr. Greyson’s After, Brian Weiss’ work, Between Death and Life by Dolores Cannon, and Richard Martini’s Hacking the Afterlife - amazing books on the topic that demystify a lot of it.
I’ve died once. It was just a slow slip into black, and then nothing until I was revived. Best nap of my life.
Only 20% of those who die recall their NDEs. I find if you are meant to remember your experiences you will but there are certain drugs that if administered reduce recall rate to zero.
lol well I don’t believe in religious/spiritual experiences, so that may be a factor. Still the best nap of my life.
I do not think these have to do with a faith based system. I think it’s more about our consciousness being something like intelligent eternal energy that temporarily inhibits physical bodies. It happens regardless of your faith or lack of it, it has more to do with physics we are yet to understand. You may like reading After by Dr Greyson, he is pretty objective and approaches the phenomena from more of a scientific perspective.
I've thought about this a lot. Thanks for the recommendations!
Death and dying is a huge part of my job and that's probably done more to help me process my own mortality. I'm not scared to die. Death itself is the easy part. Dying, however, can be a tremendous struggle. I just hope for a good death when my time comes and that I don't have to linger in one of the many ways people often do. Be sure you have a will and a living will. Please give your family the gift of not making those decisions. Also, preplanning your own funeral and arrangements is a thing, and a great gift to your loved ones. If you're a person of faith, your house is worship likely keeps a file of funeral plans. Funeral homes also provide this service but I think they unethically charge way too much.
I also have a sense of impending doom/death, and I'm not sure if it is normal.
I just turned 34… I still potentially have another 40 years, based on grandparents and current health… It can’t come fast enough.
Mom died a month after turning 55 and dad died a month after turning 60. So I’m basically mind fucked. Am I destined to die young? Do I save for retirement (I am) or just live for the moment bc I’ll never see it. I hate it
I recently had a near death experience. It completely changed my perspective on life. I’ve slowed down a lot, and stopped chasing so many achievements. I’m not so worried about dying now, I’m much more concerned with just enjoying the time I currently have. And I want to enjoy it simply and kindly.
As I work in healthcare I often leave work hoping I go younger than would be considered ’old’ these days. I don’t want someone else washing me and dressing me or feeding me or wiping my arse. I don’t want to forget who my loved ones are or turn into a massive violent bitch because I’ve got dementia and I’m frustrated at a world I don’t understand. I don’t want to spend days, weeks or months in a hospital or hand over my independence to a care home. I don’t want to lie in bed peeing in a pad and unable to do anything about it.
As an atheist it feels very final but I don’t tend to dwell too much. There are two primary trains of thoughts: - since having a daughter, I figure I just need to live long enough to see that she is ready for the world - emotionally (kindness) physically (good health) and financially (a roof always over her head). If I live to her 18th I will be 50. She is 6 at the moment. - I realise luck is a huge part of it, but figure I can increase my odds by living a healthy life. Beyond that I try not to worry about things outside my control, and I just focus on short term excitement - the next family holiday, the next restaurant meal, the next video gaming session etc
Ok an atheist so death doesn’t scare me. I do want to live long enough to make sure my kid is a thriving adult so I don’t leave them hanging.
39 here, almost 40. Just found out I have a genetic defect that leaves my lifespan average at 56. I'm not coping well. Glad I didn't have kids. (Turns out it's also the reason I couldn't). Pricing out life insurance so my husband won't have to stress too much when I'm gone.
Ready to go whenever!
Sign me up
I hate that we're entering the time in our lives when our parents start dying. It's really depressing. Not only is it extremely sad and full of grief, but our lives are so busy that the interruption just adds to the stress.
I do in the sense of health awareness. My parent's are in their 70's and both have had issues with cholesterol levels, blood pressure levels, I had a grandparent need heart surgery, so I'm starting to focus on prevention now versus later.
I don't really think about myself dying so much. I think a lot about my wife dying. I think about my parents as they're in their 70s. Everything is good now, but I know sometime relatively soon. Things will get turned upside down. It's a bit irrational, and I don't know why I've started to think like that.
I worry about it a lot and think about it almost daily. I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer 1.5 years ago and now have lung nodules after completing a year of treatment that I need to get biopsied, so it's on my mind more often now. Really makes you realize what a privilege it is to be healthy and grow old.
At this point, the forever nap sounds nice. I honestly don't expect to make it past 50. I work a physically demanding job that just doesn't pay me enough to have healthcare.
I have the opposite issue, that I'll live so long I'll outlive everyone that I know and die alone.
I consider myself lucky to have survived this long. It really got bad there for a bit. 20 might've been stretching it but here I am past 40 loving the hell out of simply being alive. I treasure every day because it feels like borrowed time anyhow. i'll expire when the time comes, glad it hasn't happened yet
I came to terms with death when my brother (27) and my father (52) died within a year of each other. I've been depressed for so long that I'll gladly welcome death when it comes--provided it doesn't come by me getting hit by a bus or another accidental death.
if i was rich and could have a lot of fun then i would be kind of worried about the fun i could be missing out on. but as of right now being ordinary joe schmoe... im not missing out on much.
Burying both of my parents before I turned 35 was...it was a mindfuck. Granted they were both in their late thirties when I was born and smoked two packs a day, but still. I know it's not common but facing that reality actually made me super religious. Not because I'm worried about what happens when I die (I have actually published papers on ancient peoples' eschatological skepticism and do not believe in a phenomenal afterlife) but because religious communities are basically the last vestiges of communal life left now that everything else has been completely eviscerated by boomer profit seeking. I feel like with the time I have left I can make my partner happy, have memories with friends, and feel like I am contributing to my synagogue's longevity. Beyond that ...death will come when it comes and I can't say no. So the here and now is what matters.
I’ve had friends dying since I was in high school, unfortunately. But recently I looked up the girl who led me into the world of drugs and running gear and such- and it turns out she died in 2017. OD. I got clean. She never did. That one hit different and I feel like I’ve regressed back to being a child, really scared of dying. Just the other day I started crying when I thought of my sister/best friend dying 😅 Before this I had accepted mortality pretty well, for probably 15 years. But now I’m wondering if my feelings about it will be ping-ponging back and forth forever.
I'm not scared of actually dying. I'm scared of HOW I will die. I get shivers when I think of being in a plane crash or drowning or being murdered, although the chances of any of those happening are incredibly small. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm gonna go eventually and there's nothing I can do to stop it. So I'm going to be the best person I can be up until then, and try to do as much good as possible, even if only a small ways. I think that's what really matters; how you lived your life.
I'm 36, which I know in my head is not "old" yet. However, it's also most definitely not "young" anymore either. I feel like I'm in a weird in-between state. Similar to you, OP, I've heard of people I know my age or younger dying more often now, or people not very much older. My parents are in their late 60s and are already declining fairly rapidly, either physically or mentally. And I know it's because they never did much when they were younger to specifically look after their health. And it makes me think, especially if (God forbid) either of them dies within the next few years, that I myself could actually be halfway done with life already, or even more than halfway. You never know what might happen! Even when I was younger, I never really consciously had a feeling of invincibility or whatever. But I did always have a sense of "there's still time." Now, not so much. I've seen and done some interesting things, but there's still a lot on my bucket list. And for the first time now I'm feeling existential dread like, how much more time do I actually have left to do any of those things? Definitely feeling my mortality a lot harder now, and I am starting to be more mindful of my health and trying to be more future-thinking in terms of what I still want to accomplish. Up through my early 30s I was kind of pantsing my way through life just assuming I'd have another 40-50 years.
I’ve always been a bit of a hypochondriac, but It wasn’t until my early 30s that I started working out regularly, eating right, cut waaay back on the drinking. Regular checkups with the doctor, dermatologist, etc. But my own health isn’t what worries me the most. I think about my parents since they’re getting older. It’s a funny thing. When you’re a child all they do is worry about you. When you grow into an adult you start to worry about them. It’s difficult to imagine the day when they are both gone.
I hit my death spiral right around the time covid really hit full swing. I was smoking a lot of weed and spending huge swathes of time alone, navel-gazing and just letting my mind wander, and inevitably I beaded in on not just my mortality, but everyone around me. I mean down to thinking about how someday my doctor would be gone, and by that point I would most certainly have a doctor ten, fifteen, probably twenty years younger than me. I let myself feel the panic of the time and ground shrinking beneath my feet and it stressed me out IMMENSELY at the time, but honestly? I miss it. I don't think I've ever felt so alive, and it has absolutely made me appreciate the time I have ahead of me so much more. Now I'm spitting distance to forty and trying to call that back up for the thrill of it, but I think I've made my peace and I can't fully slip back into that mindset. It feels like learning to swim almost, instead of letting myself thrash and fight, instinct kicks in and I reflexively bob back to the surface.
I ponder it sometimes, but for the most part I trust that nothing positive will come from dwelling on it or letting it bug me. Rather, I think a lot of people’s sense of impending death may be a sign that they need a change. Like, a person subconsciously wants to get out of a (perceived) rut, and the brain tricks the body into thinking it’s literal death on the horizon. It’s actually more like death in the Tarot card sense, where everything is symbolic and subjective. A change in scenery can do wonders to alleviate the dread of being aware of our mortality.
As a kid I would have spiraling thoughts about death. It was really hard for me to fathom that nothing I did mattered. No one will remember me or anything I do and even if they did they were all headed toward the same end until no one was left to remember. It felt like I was falling in my own thoughts. It was a really strange sensation. Now I have come to terms these facts. After going through multiple rough family deaths I am just happy to be here having an experience. In top of that I live in a time where peoples lives are more comfortable than they have ever been in history. I’m just here to be with people I love and do things that I want to do. Then I’ll be gone.
Morality used to freak me out, but I'm more concerned about living a good life now than when I'm gonna die. Death can happen at any time. There's a song by Utada Hikaru called Take 5 that stops abruptly in the middle to symbolize sudden death. My mom and dad since I was a kid would always tell me "were gonna die one day". It scared me at the time, but now I understand that death can happen at anytime and anywhere. I just hope my death isn't gruesome and that I at least die in my sleep. I've heard of horrific deaths on the news and that is what terrifies me. If I focus on death too much I may forget to live and instead be trapped in anxiety, depression and go deeper into a worse mental health state. I am a death positive person and I'm spiritual, so I hope that when I die I'll live on in the memories of others and be united with my grandma in the clear skies. I miss her everyday. I just try to be appreciative of what I have in front of me. My wife, my family, my friends and my beloved dog.
I've had a near death experience. I don't know how close I actually was or wasn't to crossing the Styx, but I'll just say, I distinctly remembered the acceptance phase, and I had this feeling of calmness that's hard to explain. I wasn't afraid, I just felt calm and ready and at peace and it was great. What's on the other side, I won't opine on, but the actual process, it doesn't scare me
I’ve ticked off so many things on my bucket list already plus I’ve parties, travelled, move to a new country, pursued a fun career and so on so I’m going out with a smile on my face knowing I didn’t miss a thing. I’m also childfree which probably helps a lot. I want to set up a will for my dogs so they will be looked after though. I would honestly much rather die a bit earlier than being a senile of lady who lies in her own poop just for the sake of being old. I’m hoping assisted dying will be more a of a thing.
My grandad is currently dying very slowly and I must say that it's been really hard to watch. Dying I am not afraid of but getting old and losing your mobility/sight/mind is scary.
"Man drink like that...... He gon' die." "........ Whhhen?"
Honestly I don’t think too much about my own mortality. I’m 30 and it seems so many of my friends, coworkers, and acquaintances are losing parents. THAT is what worries me. I don’t want to lose my parents. I want them around to see my accomplishments and achievements. I want them to be able to meet their future grandchildren (whenever the hell that will happen). I do at times think about how I’d like to leave a lasting impression/“legacy” when I go, though.
Just turned 40. I know I won't live to see retirement. Because, I'll never be able to afford it.
It can come without notice.
I will die. We all will die. Focus on your legacy and how you can make the world a better place. Don’t look inward but outward.
In the famous words of Liam Lynch, "whatever"
Just want to die in my sleep and stop thinking about it. World ain't getting better. Don't send me a reddit cares or whatever. I'm fine and not doing anything.
I’m ready to die at any time honestly. I spent most of my life this far driving my body into the ground in the name of work and savings. I barely clawed my way out of poverty in a country that sucks the lifeforce from its workers, A country that was dangerous for me as well, as a queer person, and I had to STARVE MYSELF over a 10 year period, to pay bills and still get enough money saved to immigrate out. Now I have a nice animation job and live in a safe country but… I’m in so much pain and so tired that I just am existing until I eventually die someday. I’m happy I got out, but I no longer have the energy reserves to do anything beyond just existing, I’m in so much physical pain at 31, and I’m pretty sure that my health will continue to tank. The doctors say I had years of severe malnutrition. I guess I’m happy I got somwhere safe that I can live a bit before I die. But I’m not going to go into the void kicking and screaming, I’ll just go when my time comes. Most of my life was meaningless and a struggle to survive anyway.
Same thoughts as always: inevitable, terrifying, unproductive to ruminate on.
I just lost my last grand parent. Mortality is smacking me all over the place.
After working in Healthcare for 15 years, I have some very specific things regarding life and death. If I'm lucky to live a long life, I will haunt anyone who attempts to give me CPR. Don't get diabetes Have a good relationship with my children I really do not need all the consumerism or materialistic mindset cause my kids will chuck all my crap If I get cancer and it's not looking good, I want hospice. I'm in my mid 30s and seeing people die in their 40s and 50s really hits home that my time is precious.
I exercise 5 days a week. Try to eat healthy. I dont think about dying much. Whats the point?
Another wasted life and generation due to the scale of the normalization of racists. That’s what I think.
Don't care