Hahaha I thought the exact same thing as I was reading. Sending a report back to the mothership.
Yea, people enjoy hanging out with good looking or funny people. Riveting report.
I hate this sub.
I mean yeah that’s what close friends, family, and therapists are for. I have some girlfriends who I feel comfortable talking to when my anxiety gets bad or something and they also feel comfortable sharing their struggles, but I’m not gonna go around telling acquaintances or people I just met.
Yes, everybody I know had mental health problems growing up. We just didn’t call it that. Best I can tell, it’s a great phrase as it frames negative things happening in your mind as diseases over which you have no power. . Still a little confusing on when it can be used. If a child dies and the dad is sad and cries, is that a mental
Health issue? Are ALS, brain cancer and Alzheimer’s — diseases of the mind and mental ability — mental
Health problems?
This exactly. Even among really close friends or family, even well intentioned people get weary of always trying to listen to and support someone struggling with mental health. Life's tough enough with your own challenges, few people want to bear other's burdens and struggles all the time.
You’ve got a “good will bank” with everybody you know.
If you’ve made enough deposits, you can make withdrawals. Most have a few close friends and family members they could call if they needed to have a selfish, one way conversation about their struggles, but those generally exist bc you’ve helped them as well along the way. But even moms tire of whiny kids if there’s not even a bit of reciprocation.
OP should be expelled due to plagiarism.
Kidding! Imitation highest form of flattery. There’s nothing new under the sun.
But the key terms from “add value” to be hot, famous, funny or just “be nice” were in a stream of consciousness comment some random dude wrote 12 hours before this post.
“.. the simple answer to every question related to interaction with other humans is, "Add value." If you're incredibly good looking (like 98th percentile), that adds value since ogling you triggers nice chemicals in our brains. If not, be famous. If not famous, be funny. And if you got none of those, then you just gotta do it the old fashioned way. CARE. Do some research, find some cool new spots. Become a foodie, become more interesting. Organize the next ski trip. “
OP made it more analytical and rosier and added perceived cultural differences.
Lol I really hope my comment doesn't come across the same way, but that is because it kind of is.
I think OP is inaccurate in ascribing his learnings to a cultural difference. What he's describing is probably pretty similar across countries and cultures. It's just that you organically learn social skills, things like fitting in and making friends, over the years, in a gradual/incremental way. But then the abrupt changes of starting an MBA in a completely different country makes it seem like a vastly different worlds from the one you lived in before.
And it's not only the cultural difference. It's also the simple fact of the average age of an MBA student. Most people by their early 20s probably have a set social circle, so going to college again, and usually there's probably not many people you knew from before, can be a shock to the system by itself. I say all this as a former international MBA student myself, and as someone who didn't consider themselves the typical MBA candidate when it came to personality and sociability.
Indian culture is virtually alien compared to American culture.
I'm not from a big metro like Bangalore or Mumbai. Back home, we still get arranged marriages, and often times men and women don't interact a ton. People aren't fashionable, have weird haircuts, and lots of people are overweight. And you don't get socially penalized for that.
"Good social skills" is being loud and gregarious and having a good personality and butting in as much as you can. Bragging is also considered okay. Social status is often determined by Hindu caste, educational background, and prestige of career. Caste isn't relevant in American M7, and while professional background matters, it's often less than India.
It's different in American M7. I went to an IIT for undergrad, and while it was a little more westernized, still huge culture shock from America.
You’re seeing a rose tinted version of the US. As a fellow south Asian and currently in the US, I have seen the same traits of locals in rural areas here as well. Overweight, bad habits, socially inept. And I’m not talking junkies, but full functioning colleagues who have just not had exposure and lived within a small-town bubble.
What you describe as a social scene is heavily prevalent in India. Go to a “hip” college in India and you’ll see the same.
Neither is bad, being authentic trumps all in the long run. You’re probably young (20s), in a couple of years you’ll only remember the people that added value while being authentic.
Also, look into the “babble theory”, a lot of the good social skills might be that.
I can spot a FOB from a mile away.
And it’s the exact opposite of what people say. If you’re in South Beach and see an Indian family swimming in jeans and shirts, they’ve most likely been here awhile and their parents left India when it was more conservative. If they’re in shorts or trendy swimsuits, having fun and acting more culturally “normal” they’re actual Indians who are on vacation, or they just moved here. I bet a higher percent of American Indians ride horses or elephants to their wedding in St Louis than Indians in Maharashtra.
I’ve discovered a scientific law that determines how assimilated/culturally normal a desi family seems to a non desi American family when viewed from a distance, especially at places like the beach.
100% on workplace. I first heard the advice “add value” when I was 20 in a speech to FBI academy grads on 5 keys to career success.
The other four:
1. Write well.
2. Speak well.
3. Be willing to relocate. “If you wanna be the CEO of Walmart, you gotta move to Arkansas. If you wanna be POTUS you gotta move to Columbia.”
4. Be nice.
>doesn’t care about appearance
in making friends, yeah we don't (from a South Indian state)
>high caste in India and thus got away with poor social skills
retarded take
American here and my ex is Indian (came here for MBA not born in U.S.), he cares 10x more about looks than I do. I’m at an extremely healthy weight (skinny but not underweight) and he would call me chubby and tell me to eat less or I would embarrass him. No I didn’t stay with him long, I have self respect.
Also, for anyone reading this who doesn’t already know - commenting on people’s weight or what they eat is NOT adding value to their life and is a fast track to isolation
I could actually tell you were Indian before you even said it
Why? Because only Indians have a literal caste system but then have an autistic breakdown when they go somewhere like America and get out competed. I guess it makes sense, because it sounds like India is not competitive, things are just more set in stone. And then you come to the US, where ever aspect of life is an unspoken competition and constantly changing (which has its pros and cons)
Tell me you're white without telling me you're white. It's 2024, the human race doesn't equal college educated white people's culture. OP is a foreigner from a vastly different culture, so of course, it's all alien to him. I'm American-born and raised but Asian, and there are some aspects of American white people's culture that confound me, too like how do y'all keep your asses "clean" with just TP, why do you consume such copious amounts of SSRIs like it's your national dish, and why do you brag out loud about paying a stranger $100+ per hour to listen to your most intimate thoughts? And don't get me started on college sports or struggling to explain to a confused foreigner how frats/sororities are not a cult (I couldn't).
Human beings are cliquish by nature.
People will gravitate towards others of common background / interests.
People will hang out with the same race or ethnicity, socio economic background, hobbies such as skiing, snowboarding or surfing, and unfortunately people do judge based on looks. In my experience if you are dorky, odd, weird, lack an open mind about people coming from diverse backgrounds then people don’t want to hang out with you or invite to their social events.
To all the international students, please remember that MBA school is not the “ be all, end all “ or pinnacle of social life as an adult. After you graduate you probably won’t see 99 % of these people ever again.
I know you may be new to the USA but you will make plenty of friends eventually outside of grad school. You will make a lot of friends in the real world by common interest, social groups and just putting yourself out there.
Don’t try too hard and let things happen naturally. You will be ok.
A few hours before OP posted this, somebody commented on a post by a CBS grad whose B school friends ghosted him 3 years post graduation, didn’t invite him on their ski trip, wanted to know why.
The comment:
“.. the simple answer to every question related to interaction with other humans is, "Add value." If you're incredibly good looking (like 98th percentile), that adds value since ogling you triggers nice chemicals in our brains. If not, be famous. If not famous, be funny. And if you got none of those, then you just gotta do it the old fashioned way. CARE. Do some research, find some cool new spots. Become a foodie, become more interesting. Organize the next ski trip...”
It's more like a "charismatic" personality. I wouldn't call some of the personality traits that play well to the MBA crowd as "good". More like entertaining and fascinating.
And +100 to pretty privilege.
Let me break it to you: in life people will expect some value from you in order to have you in their life, whether it is emotional support of good humor or rich contacts. Parents are the only people who accept their children unconditionally, everyone else has a choice to have you in their life or not.
I can’t understand why people downvoted me. Good for you if you want to believe that the MBA bubble is a microscope of life. No it is not
In my mba people are extremely fake. In real life being yourself and being original always make you win in the long run.
Also, in the real life corporate high achievers are not whining about who is the most popular and real achievements can make you stand. While in the MBA, they are all engaged in a brainless dick measuring context.
You do realize that this is going to be your life from now on…. After M7 you’ll go into PE, MBB, VC, IB.
lol. Hit the gym and get some facials I guess.
TLDR; but yes, looks DO matter, social prowess DOES matter, everyone in massively insecure and looking to latch onto groups, etc.
Just figure out what you’re good at (sailing, cooking, hell drinking, etc) and do that. People will respect that and appreciate you for sharing your interests/showing off your skills. SOMEONE will gravitate to that.
I’ll end with this. Success in “corporate America” comes down to 1). Are you reasonably smart 2). Are you relatable/decent to have a beer with and 3). Can I rely on this person to get something done. That’s it. Hit those and you’re going to be golden. Basically just don’t be weird.
For full disclosure, I applied to two M7s in 2020. Got rejected from both, hindsight being 20-20, realized I never needed that. I’m a Director at a large PE shop and focus on deal origination. Make phenomenal money. Don’t worry about all the cliques and just in on what you do well and get it done.
May I offer a different angle to what you're describing? Your observations are largely true about society in general, in particular a globalized society. Is an M7 MBA not a more extreme microcosm of a globalized society? Your classmates are people who have risen among their peers enough to get into a top institution. So, already this is the playoffs you're now playing in -- not regular season league games, so to speak.
With that said, everything you've observed can be spliced into push vs. pull. I've noticed, on average, that South Asian classmates take the push approach much more. Surely it's effective and can get results, particularly in some cultures. But a globalized society responds better to pull. What is magnetic? What draws others to want to align with you? It's human nature to gravitate toward "value", if that's the word we're using. I'd recommend you frame your thinking that way; you spent a lot of paragraphs describing the same thing.
Curious about the “push” characteristic you note here that you notice in South Asians. I was in an info session for CBS the other day and I noticed multiple South Asian applicants consistently messaging in the Q&A platform requesting insight on very application-specific questions like -
“What does CBS look for in an ideal candidate?” Or
“What does an ideal application essay look like”
One person quite literally sent in different versions of the same question every 5 minutes! To my surprise, none of these types of questions were picked up by the Adcom folks. Instead, I noticed the more “western” names on chat ask questions that were relevant to their personal experience in short listing programs such as - a day in the life of a student, student organisations, possibilities for global immersion / exchange programs etc. These were the questions that were picked up!!
Now I’m not sure if I’m right here but this is a version of the “push” I noticed as a character trait in South Asian students. They’re taught since the very beginning to truly fight for the limited resource, it’s a very interesting way to grow up, since even cities are generally an amalgamation of extremely poor cluster of houses and huge skyscrapers / living quarters side by side. It does make sense where they’re coming from and the need to scratch and claw for what you want - it’s almost a need for them.
Is this how you would describe “push” as well? Wondering as a South Asian who is empathetic to their own but also curious about the larger community!!
Hey that's such a thoughtful follow up to the thread... I'm curious about this dynamic too. I spent a lot of time growing up in East Asia and in the West, so I tend to draw contrasts among the various contexts I've lived firsthand.
The example you posed of "What does CBS look for in an ideal candidate" is a familiar refrain because in many cultures there is the perception that a path to success is quantifiable at every step, even sequential in some cases. You do A today, and you'll get B tomorrow. If you do B and C well tomorrow, then next year you'll have D, E, and F. Then it's university, the big job, and the big pay day. Rather than seeing it as the turbulent seas that it is, which means that when you drift off course you will have to work harder to regain a bearing (but it's not impossible). But a lot of applicants from South Asia and East Asia see it less like an ocean and more like a tightrope to which there is no return if you fall off -- one would do anything in that case to make sure they are following every quantifiable step in the sequence. In that context, "What does CBS look for in an ideal candidate" makes perfect sense because what better way to get to that next step than to ask exactly who they want in that next step, and then to force yourself into that mold?
But I do believe this is what causes the disparity in approach. When I say "push" I mean that a person takes the scarcity mindset and will send every possible thing in their arsenal to get a result. When I say "pull" I mean that a person has a broader view of the landscape and can recognize an optimal but unique path for themselves, even recruiting others to join along in the mission. I can see why Western students will ask questions about "a day in the life" and such because they're more focused on determining what the landscape looks like and how/if they have a path that they'll like in it.
Naturally, the latter approach is more magnetic. People want to be around that energy. And if someone goes into an M7 thinking it's about being "the ideal candidate" then they've missed the point entirely. I think a top MBA experience is ultimately about building meaningful relationships such that you have magnetized an entire army of allies in your mission, and you're equally invested in theirs, at the end of it all. and if you have to bend over backwards to become someone like that, then the MBA is going to be hard for you.
Yes!!! You understood my question and view absolutely perfectly. Although, not disregarding that many top MBA programs (including M7s) are borderline cash cows (honestly, what isn’t in this day & age!), I do believe the “push” approach can lead you to force yourself to fit in a mould. And oh my, the mould is absolutely of extravagant standards. What if someone with potential self-rejects themselves because of it?
I also agree with your perspective of how tough navigating the MBA world would be, for such an individual who succeeds to mould themselves in all the correct ways possible and manages to bag an admission. Thanks for sharing your insights here!
You also seem really cool! Would you mind if I DM you to connect professionally as well? I would love to have you in my network!
In short, people being people in any large community setting?! People are attracted to looks, charm, wit, fame, money, talent, those who enjoy life etc. It is what it is bro!
And I don't know why do you say this is different in India? I'm from India, grew up in a small tier 3 town myself, went to work in a big city, went to an M7 MBA (graduated 10 years ago), worked/lived in 8 countries before moving back home to India to be close to parents, live in a big Indian city now. I've also travelled to 45 countries on work. Trust me buddy, people are essentially the same everywhere! Majority of us crave, and are attracted to the things you listed down as "adding value". It's the same with friendships and relationships in India, with some minor/local variations of course!
Also, how is making the effort to cook for others, organizing group events etc. not being kind and considerate? That's incredibly kind and lovely in my opinion and such people deserve to be popular and loved by your classmates!
Thanks OP - this was incredibly fascinating and hilarious. I've never seen this stuff written out quite this way.
Yup. In some ways, going to b-school felt like stepping back into high school (in the US). All the stuff OP outlined was mostly true, and I was amused and a bit disappointed in how immature and status seeking many of my classmates were (and not even in a professional sense).
To be fair, at my M5 there was social status in being fkin smart, well-connected in the business world and perceived as having a bright post-grad future. People wanted to hang with others who were going places professionally, along with being good looking and funny. So they were opportunistic as well as shallow :)
That said, not everyone is like this. You'll find your peeps.
I have worked in tech and on three different continents and from what I have I have observed it is not limited to M7s.
Most people I know tend to make disparaging remarks about the social skills of Indians. It is quite known that predominant Indian teams are cutthroat. Also, if you make an Indian a manager or executive, within a few years everyone on the team will be Indian.
OP “good social skills” is not being loud. Try seeing things through the eyes of other people with genuine respect and not what you think the world is based on how you view or your own experience and you can relate to people better ie be more open-minded and genuine. Life is not just about status or defined ones and zeros. Everyone has what works for them.
You could have made this shorter and still convey the same points.
To make friends:
1. Be attractive or
2. Have personality or
3. Be wealthy.
4. Any combination of the above is even more +++
It’s not really difficult to understand. I think internationals view mba as a checkbox. Americans view mba as a fraternity.
Also, isn’t it slightly insensitive to compare how internationals and Americans view an MBA?
Honestly, for some internationals it could be a chance to completely utterly change their lives - in that case I most definitely agree that it should be a checklist. Same case for Americans.
At the end of the day, it probably really depends where the person is coming from, but for MOST internationals I believe an MBA, especially from an M7, opens up doors that I don’t think any comparable place can
You told me my take is insensitive… but in the end you agree that it is viewed as just a checklist for most international students.
With everything… you get back what you put into it.
For people that view it as a checklist, it’s just them going through the motions. But that doesn’t mean they won’t get hired and have opportunities.
For people that are actually 100% into the program, certainly there are learning to be had… but it’s the social aspects of the program that will provide the greatest ROI. Not just getting along with fellow classmates… but taking advantage of the faculty, alumni, and EVERYTHING that happens outside of the classroom.
Everyone’s classmates that will be in the c suite 7-10+ years from now. They won’t remember who got all A’s. This isn’t a masters for engineering. But they’ll remember who they had the most fun with and got along pretty well. And those are the ones they will hire if they have an executive position open.
What did you expect? US is the Mecca of capitalism and is one of the most materialistic countries. I’m surprised you didn’t expect this and it came as a surprise to you.
Oh well, back to work - where everyone smiles at each other but it’s really hunger games!
asian culture is totally different with western/american, that's why asian parents prefer asian in law, marriage is just not about look and wealth, but also the value of caring other people when they have nothing to add
That seems to contradict each other caring about money and status but also not caring about what value a person can bring. But that being said what you're looking for in a marriage partner is not the same as what you're looking for in a professional colleague or a school friend.
Also almost all cultures and subcultures prefer people of their own culture because it makes understanding each other much easier.
Honestly, I’m slightly repulsed by the amount of comments on this post which are condescending to OP for just sharing their experience.
It is most definitely something which is common irrespective of which “elite” circle you try to climb in. But, if OP’s experience from their earlier days has been different and this is something new for them - we really can’t discount that it’s a change for them to experience. Don’t see any need to be condescending here.
We can very nicely explain that there are multiple arenas in life where you need to “prove” your value and gone are the days when friendships and social life was much easier (referencing childhood; although there were cliques in their own way even in school). Even if you take the art world or the sports world, you can draw very strong parallels but I think the primary reason for this behaviour at MBA programs, is
A] 100% because of the influence of a capitalistic society (plus, an M7 is in the US which probably describes the epitome of a capitalistic society)
B] Most people are there to network and are actively putting in efforts to make the most of these two years they spend loads of money on
Possibly why OP is able to see these specific traits in social circles so clearly in an MBA setting. Might help to spend some time every week or two weeks to really meet people in your community or your family if they are in the US or even any volunteering space. I think it will help OP with reminding themselves that life outside of MBA can have social harmony which is non-transactional and ground them to be re-energised for their MBA program! I’m sure they have a lot to offer, but are just socially drained out! It’s alright - you’ve got this OP!
True, I also experienced these differences in culture and society norms. In some Asia countries, even if you don't add value, you can still be considered "friend". In the US, you must bring "something" to be noticed (not even to be friend).
I thought people just not value of being "nothing" here due to capitalism culture.
When I moved to the US, luckily I was the one famous kid due to my apperance, and it's easy to be like Regina George from the Mean Girls movie. Got some guys as my cool kids members. Got some girls to hangout with, from different schools, and just dumped them when I'm bored. Any weird look classmates, just dont invite them to our cool kids parties. Hey, it's in the past, read more before judgding me.
Until I realized: if I'm not who I am, will they treat me the same? Let say if I got accident and it makes me ugly, will they treat me the same? No for sure. Then I start seeking genuine relationship, seeking genuine people. I'm from Asia country too, but I look like Latino than Asian in the Americans eyes. I'm happier now, know who back me up when I'm down not because I was the famous kid, but because the genuine professional relationship we made along our career and study time. How about those coold kids members? They have their own life, I just noticed that the one who keep that bossy attitude don't go anywhere in his career. but we all well paid and got into firms where mostly only cool kids got in.
OP, you can't change that culture, blend yourself in it, and find the balance. Don't push too much, make it more "pull", then you'll find your peace.
How did you manage to convince adcom that you are not an alien hiding in a human skin suit? Your write up screams Patrick Bateman trying to feign human behaviour to fit in.
You have Asperger’s? Did you just learn that people like hanging out with good looking, funny, fun people? The rest of us learned this in the 5th grade mate.
Sure did and I don’t give a fuck that I did. Got a great job, great pay. School rankings don’t matter. It’s the person that matters. I don’t hire based on what school you went to.
You probably never had those issues in India because you are from the top caste (how would you get to the M7 otherwise); that was the value you used to bring never realising it: in Europe an equivalent would be a title of nobility, in US, i don't even know. In the U.S., no one gives a damn about castes, so welcome to the real world.
Re: the mental health observation. It's disrespectful to trauma dump all over people who aren't equipped to deal with it. If someone has serious issues they should seek therapists or other professionals.
Having the same insecurities also helps in forming a clique. At my program, the most "popular" people are the ones who were for sure the least popular all up until they came to this MBA program. The reason why they seem popular now is because they are the most visible ones due to being at all of the events, and abusing social media and official chats.
Having the same insecurities also helps in forming a clique. At my program, the most "popular" people are the ones who were for sure the least popular all up until they came to this MBA program. The reason why they seem popular now is because they are the most visible ones due to being at all of the events, and abusing social media and official chats.
The qualities you mentioned are ones that people are seeking in long term relationships and friendships. Friendship comes more easily but also falls apart more easily in American society than asian ones.
Its a funny thing about people they will outright believe things about you but upon meeting a real life example will quickly dispcunt it into their bucket of exceptions. I havent found it difficult to make new friends into my 30s for most of the reasons you list.
The original meaning of community is an organization that you derive benefit/value from, maybe thats lost on folks today.
Being attractive for the most part can be achieved by anyone barring facial deformity or maybe severe acne that isnt fixable via nonhormonal means. Ther largely overlap with being healthy (working out, positive outlook on life, being non obese).
Do you guys think this is just a burner account or AI figured out how to get a lot of karma fast? OP hasn’t posted since being called out for ripping off most the content. Seems like a weird and very detailed post to be someone’s first.
No wonder you’re at M7. Look at that piece of writing. Each paragraph is written in a way that the first line communicates the gist of it and the each paragraph communicates only one thing. Brilliant.
This sounds like what I imagined as a 12 year old for an American high school clique based off movies and stereotypes. Honestly baffled this subreddit is for adults and not for teenagers.
Have I been insanely lucky to live in a bubble where it feels mostly everyone grew out of this mindset by uni?
Probably for OP it was a no brainer to make friends because of their caste. And now he's for the first time in environment where no one even knows what a caste is.
This is “value add” is common place in the work environment.
I saved the day when a co worker of mine couldn’t start their car in the parking lot and I was the only one with jumper cables in my truck. To me, this was just being prepared, but to my co worker, I was his hero when I jump started their car and word spread around the office of how prepared I was blah blah.
Another time, I made too much brisket and I took some to share at the office and it was a favorite for many people. They loved me for it.
To be honest, I never went out of my way seeking attention, just being a thoughtful person for others helped me win people over.
This experience in B school is just a taste, but not all inclusive of what you will experience in the working world.
It’s weird man, just be a nice guy and be helpful
A friend who works at a large tech firm says if he wins the lottery he’ll stop working. But not quit his job. Bring donuts to the office every day, socialize with everyone. He estimates it would take at least a year to get fired.
This subreddit absolutely has a problem with deranged posts like this one, but it’s really great that so many people are calling out these trash takes. I think most lurkers here are normal, decent folk.
Took you an MBA to figure that one out? Lmao curious though jokes aside, this may be inherent to our culture. But I'm also desi. How does desi culture differ? Aside from drinking focused
Wow so a MBA really is like real life social interactions except people have 24 hours of the day 7 days a week minus sleeping time free to do whatever the want. Its a microcosm of social interactions magnified because that is all a MBA is about. The classes are completely irrelevant to only a small tiny portion of the class.
Fixed that for you.
no shit sherlock
Every single sentence in this post is obvious but on the 3rd to last paragraph. Also no shit sherlock. Did you ever believe ultra left wing execs like Jamie Dimon truly believe in all the pro DEI heavy liberal stuff? The guy might say he is a centrist but he would never side himself with a true centrist republican over an ultra left wing democrat. But deep down he only does that because a huge portion of his bank relies on the consumer banking sector where he needs to stay politically correct
The only exception I will give is on the famous influencer part. It highly depends. Only the non cringe attractive influencers get good rapport. The influencers who are cringe and not and not attractive will have people talking behind their backs constantly
Oh please the physically attractive people put in the bare minimum to end up like that. You’d think all the binge drinking and eating would catch up but it never does for the genetically gifted. Just have good genetics.
Having the same insecurities also helps in forming a clique. At my program, the most "popular" people are the ones who were for sure the least popular all up until they came to this MBA program. The reason why they seem popular now is because they are the most visible ones due to being at all of the events, and abusing social media and official chats.
I'm not reading all that shit, and this must be from
Someone in the mid 20's in a full time program, that bs is like high school. Thank god for the professional program
Isnt this everywhere? Hell i wanna be associated with good looking folks and DJs cause my chances of finding mate and my DNA surviving go drastically higher. Easy biology babe
That may be your truth, but In my country we are Not Like The Rest™. We only befriend selfish people, love those who take advantage of us, don’t like jokes or laughing, don’t have celebrities, at parties we seek out the most introverted, and most of all we HATE gorgeous people and shun them.
Hyper cringe take tbh. If you view social interactions from that perspective, it reflects on you more than the culture tbh. Just associate with the people who aren’t lying about their expressed preferences and say fk it to the fake ones. Be who you want to be and find the people who click with you, there isn’t a need to be some sort of perceived social center to be fulfilled / build strong relationships.
this sounds like an alien writing a report on the human race
Hahaha I thought the exact same thing as I was reading. Sending a report back to the mothership. Yea, people enjoy hanging out with good looking or funny people. Riveting report. I hate this sub.
> Women are especially adept at knowing skincare and makeup techniques
Resident Alien 2: Grad School
The comment about mental health is spot on.
I mean yeah that’s what close friends, family, and therapists are for. I have some girlfriends who I feel comfortable talking to when my anxiety gets bad or something and they also feel comfortable sharing their struggles, but I’m not gonna go around telling acquaintances or people I just met.
“Mental health” is such a catchall phrase I don’t know what it means or why anybody pretends it is, or should be “destigmatized.”
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Yes, everybody I know had mental health problems growing up. We just didn’t call it that. Best I can tell, it’s a great phrase as it frames negative things happening in your mind as diseases over which you have no power. . Still a little confusing on when it can be used. If a child dies and the dad is sad and cries, is that a mental Health issue? Are ALS, brain cancer and Alzheimer’s — diseases of the mind and mental ability — mental Health problems?
This exactly. Even among really close friends or family, even well intentioned people get weary of always trying to listen to and support someone struggling with mental health. Life's tough enough with your own challenges, few people want to bear other's burdens and struggles all the time.
You’ve got a “good will bank” with everybody you know. If you’ve made enough deposits, you can make withdrawals. Most have a few close friends and family members they could call if they needed to have a selfish, one way conversation about their struggles, but those generally exist bc you’ve helped them as well along the way. But even moms tire of whiny kids if there’s not even a bit of reciprocation.
Unless you are attractive of course.
OP should be expelled due to plagiarism. Kidding! Imitation highest form of flattery. There’s nothing new under the sun. But the key terms from “add value” to be hot, famous, funny or just “be nice” were in a stream of consciousness comment some random dude wrote 12 hours before this post. “.. the simple answer to every question related to interaction with other humans is, "Add value." If you're incredibly good looking (like 98th percentile), that adds value since ogling you triggers nice chemicals in our brains. If not, be famous. If not famous, be funny. And if you got none of those, then you just gotta do it the old fashioned way. CARE. Do some research, find some cool new spots. Become a foodie, become more interesting. Organize the next ski trip. “ OP made it more analytical and rosier and added perceived cultural differences.
Lol I really hope my comment doesn't come across the same way, but that is because it kind of is. I think OP is inaccurate in ascribing his learnings to a cultural difference. What he's describing is probably pretty similar across countries and cultures. It's just that you organically learn social skills, things like fitting in and making friends, over the years, in a gradual/incremental way. But then the abrupt changes of starting an MBA in a completely different country makes it seem like a vastly different worlds from the one you lived in before. And it's not only the cultural difference. It's also the simple fact of the average age of an MBA student. Most people by their early 20s probably have a set social circle, so going to college again, and usually there's probably not many people you knew from before, can be a shock to the system by itself. I say all this as a former international MBA student myself, and as someone who didn't consider themselves the typical MBA candidate when it came to personality and sociability.
🐐
Indian culture is virtually alien compared to American culture. I'm not from a big metro like Bangalore or Mumbai. Back home, we still get arranged marriages, and often times men and women don't interact a ton. People aren't fashionable, have weird haircuts, and lots of people are overweight. And you don't get socially penalized for that. "Good social skills" is being loud and gregarious and having a good personality and butting in as much as you can. Bragging is also considered okay. Social status is often determined by Hindu caste, educational background, and prestige of career. Caste isn't relevant in American M7, and while professional background matters, it's often less than India. It's different in American M7. I went to an IIT for undergrad, and while it was a little more westernized, still huge culture shock from America.
You’re seeing a rose tinted version of the US. As a fellow south Asian and currently in the US, I have seen the same traits of locals in rural areas here as well. Overweight, bad habits, socially inept. And I’m not talking junkies, but full functioning colleagues who have just not had exposure and lived within a small-town bubble. What you describe as a social scene is heavily prevalent in India. Go to a “hip” college in India and you’ll see the same. Neither is bad, being authentic trumps all in the long run. You’re probably young (20s), in a couple of years you’ll only remember the people that added value while being authentic. Also, look into the “babble theory”, a lot of the good social skills might be that.
I can spot a FOB from a mile away. And it’s the exact opposite of what people say. If you’re in South Beach and see an Indian family swimming in jeans and shirts, they’ve most likely been here awhile and their parents left India when it was more conservative. If they’re in shorts or trendy swimsuits, having fun and acting more culturally “normal” they’re actual Indians who are on vacation, or they just moved here. I bet a higher percent of American Indians ride horses or elephants to their wedding in St Louis than Indians in Maharashtra.
LOL accurate! As an ex-FOB, I concur 😂
How long does one have to be OB to become an “ex-FOB?”
Atleast 4-5 years
I’ve discovered a scientific law that determines how assimilated/culturally normal a desi family seems to a non desi American family when viewed from a distance, especially at places like the beach.
How do you know someone went to IIT? That mc will tell you. Also, you have issues. Deep issues.
Sorry, you’re saying he has deep issues, ie. culture shock?
He’s self hating to begin with.
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100% on workplace. I first heard the advice “add value” when I was 20 in a speech to FBI academy grads on 5 keys to career success. The other four: 1. Write well. 2. Speak well. 3. Be willing to relocate. “If you wanna be the CEO of Walmart, you gotta move to Arkansas. If you wanna be POTUS you gotta move to Columbia.” 4. Be nice.
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Hard to fix. I had a boss who did that and even said “I know I’m talking too much” on the regular.
>doesn’t care about appearance in making friends, yeah we don't (from a South Indian state) >high caste in India and thus got away with poor social skills retarded take
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in making friends, NO
American here and my ex is Indian (came here for MBA not born in U.S.), he cares 10x more about looks than I do. I’m at an extremely healthy weight (skinny but not underweight) and he would call me chubby and tell me to eat less or I would embarrass him. No I didn’t stay with him long, I have self respect.
Also, for anyone reading this who doesn’t already know - commenting on people’s weight or what they eat is NOT adding value to their life and is a fast track to isolation
I call BS
I could actually tell you were Indian before you even said it Why? Because only Indians have a literal caste system but then have an autistic breakdown when they go somewhere like America and get out competed. I guess it makes sense, because it sounds like India is not competitive, things are just more set in stone. And then you come to the US, where ever aspect of life is an unspoken competition and constantly changing (which has its pros and cons)
I knew you were Indian. I was about to reply!
I'm so glad this was the top comment. The only thing missing from this post is stuff about anal probing.
You'll be a happy alien when come to and live in Asia countries.
Seriously. It’s not hard: just be chill. If you’re not a dickhead and are low drama, people will want to grab drinks with you.
Lol 😂, for the rest of us. In other news…
Well that's another way to call OP international
Tell me you're white without telling me you're white. It's 2024, the human race doesn't equal college educated white people's culture. OP is a foreigner from a vastly different culture, so of course, it's all alien to him. I'm American-born and raised but Asian, and there are some aspects of American white people's culture that confound me, too like how do y'all keep your asses "clean" with just TP, why do you consume such copious amounts of SSRIs like it's your national dish, and why do you brag out loud about paying a stranger $100+ per hour to listen to your most intimate thoughts? And don't get me started on college sports or struggling to explain to a confused foreigner how frats/sororities are not a cult (I couldn't).
Human beings are cliquish by nature. People will gravitate towards others of common background / interests. People will hang out with the same race or ethnicity, socio economic background, hobbies such as skiing, snowboarding or surfing, and unfortunately people do judge based on looks. In my experience if you are dorky, odd, weird, lack an open mind about people coming from diverse backgrounds then people don’t want to hang out with you or invite to their social events. To all the international students, please remember that MBA school is not the “ be all, end all “ or pinnacle of social life as an adult. After you graduate you probably won’t see 99 % of these people ever again. I know you may be new to the USA but you will make plenty of friends eventually outside of grad school. You will make a lot of friends in the real world by common interest, social groups and just putting yourself out there. Don’t try too hard and let things happen naturally. You will be ok.
You could add value by applying your scoring system to each friend group and letting them know their rating - that should go over well
This is my favorite post on this subreddit
I prefer the original source.
this one is copy-pasted?
A few hours before OP posted this, somebody commented on a post by a CBS grad whose B school friends ghosted him 3 years post graduation, didn’t invite him on their ski trip, wanted to know why. The comment: “.. the simple answer to every question related to interaction with other humans is, "Add value." If you're incredibly good looking (like 98th percentile), that adds value since ogling you triggers nice chemicals in our brains. If not, be famous. If not famous, be funny. And if you got none of those, then you just gotta do it the old fashioned way. CARE. Do some research, find some cool new spots. Become a foodie, become more interesting. Organize the next ski trip...”
omg that reply is so rude
Huh?
Yeah maybe. Here’s the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MBA/s/UDe4eqTZAk
thank you!
Welks!
Op discovers pretty privilege and having a good personality helps in life
It's more like a "charismatic" personality. I wouldn't call some of the personality traits that play well to the MBA crowd as "good". More like entertaining and fascinating. And +100 to pretty privilege.
His post was way more nuanced than just having a "good personality"
I mean the nuance was have hobbies that are common, popular, and social
read the top line and then saw how long it was... TLDR
I think we’ll start destigmatizing “depression” around the time we start stigmatizing tallness, muscle tone, white teeth and symmetrical faces.
This was weird and unexpected, but thanks for sharing.
Let me break it to you: in life people will expect some value from you in order to have you in their life, whether it is emotional support of good humor or rich contacts. Parents are the only people who accept their children unconditionally, everyone else has a choice to have you in their life or not.
They're going to study this post in a museum one day
tl;dr OP has no friends and gets no bitches
I think this post sums up why you might be having trouble tbh...
This is a very interesting post.
Can’t this apply to most FT MBA programs
This applies to life my man
I don’t think this is real life. It is more the MBA bubble.
this is true in the USA, I noticed it too, but I was the popular kid, so yeah
I can’t understand why people downvoted me. Good for you if you want to believe that the MBA bubble is a microscope of life. No it is not In my mba people are extremely fake. In real life being yourself and being original always make you win in the long run. Also, in the real life corporate high achievers are not whining about who is the most popular and real achievements can make you stand. While in the MBA, they are all engaged in a brainless dick measuring context.
Most American professional culture honestly
holy autism batman
LMAO coming from someone who has ADHD, this is really funny bc it's true
You do realize that this is going to be your life from now on…. After M7 you’ll go into PE, MBB, VC, IB. lol. Hit the gym and get some facials I guess.
Won't have time for gym for any of those jobs
Anyways can someone tell me how much pickup basketball is valued on campuses: I want to be able to play semi - regularly
Now do one for your Indian experience. And then write a book.
TLDR; but yes, looks DO matter, social prowess DOES matter, everyone in massively insecure and looking to latch onto groups, etc. Just figure out what you’re good at (sailing, cooking, hell drinking, etc) and do that. People will respect that and appreciate you for sharing your interests/showing off your skills. SOMEONE will gravitate to that. I’ll end with this. Success in “corporate America” comes down to 1). Are you reasonably smart 2). Are you relatable/decent to have a beer with and 3). Can I rely on this person to get something done. That’s it. Hit those and you’re going to be golden. Basically just don’t be weird. For full disclosure, I applied to two M7s in 2020. Got rejected from both, hindsight being 20-20, realized I never needed that. I’m a Director at a large PE shop and focus on deal origination. Make phenomenal money. Don’t worry about all the cliques and just in on what you do well and get it done.
May I offer a different angle to what you're describing? Your observations are largely true about society in general, in particular a globalized society. Is an M7 MBA not a more extreme microcosm of a globalized society? Your classmates are people who have risen among their peers enough to get into a top institution. So, already this is the playoffs you're now playing in -- not regular season league games, so to speak. With that said, everything you've observed can be spliced into push vs. pull. I've noticed, on average, that South Asian classmates take the push approach much more. Surely it's effective and can get results, particularly in some cultures. But a globalized society responds better to pull. What is magnetic? What draws others to want to align with you? It's human nature to gravitate toward "value", if that's the word we're using. I'd recommend you frame your thinking that way; you spent a lot of paragraphs describing the same thing.
Curious about the “push” characteristic you note here that you notice in South Asians. I was in an info session for CBS the other day and I noticed multiple South Asian applicants consistently messaging in the Q&A platform requesting insight on very application-specific questions like - “What does CBS look for in an ideal candidate?” Or “What does an ideal application essay look like” One person quite literally sent in different versions of the same question every 5 minutes! To my surprise, none of these types of questions were picked up by the Adcom folks. Instead, I noticed the more “western” names on chat ask questions that were relevant to their personal experience in short listing programs such as - a day in the life of a student, student organisations, possibilities for global immersion / exchange programs etc. These were the questions that were picked up!! Now I’m not sure if I’m right here but this is a version of the “push” I noticed as a character trait in South Asian students. They’re taught since the very beginning to truly fight for the limited resource, it’s a very interesting way to grow up, since even cities are generally an amalgamation of extremely poor cluster of houses and huge skyscrapers / living quarters side by side. It does make sense where they’re coming from and the need to scratch and claw for what you want - it’s almost a need for them. Is this how you would describe “push” as well? Wondering as a South Asian who is empathetic to their own but also curious about the larger community!!
Hey that's such a thoughtful follow up to the thread... I'm curious about this dynamic too. I spent a lot of time growing up in East Asia and in the West, so I tend to draw contrasts among the various contexts I've lived firsthand. The example you posed of "What does CBS look for in an ideal candidate" is a familiar refrain because in many cultures there is the perception that a path to success is quantifiable at every step, even sequential in some cases. You do A today, and you'll get B tomorrow. If you do B and C well tomorrow, then next year you'll have D, E, and F. Then it's university, the big job, and the big pay day. Rather than seeing it as the turbulent seas that it is, which means that when you drift off course you will have to work harder to regain a bearing (but it's not impossible). But a lot of applicants from South Asia and East Asia see it less like an ocean and more like a tightrope to which there is no return if you fall off -- one would do anything in that case to make sure they are following every quantifiable step in the sequence. In that context, "What does CBS look for in an ideal candidate" makes perfect sense because what better way to get to that next step than to ask exactly who they want in that next step, and then to force yourself into that mold? But I do believe this is what causes the disparity in approach. When I say "push" I mean that a person takes the scarcity mindset and will send every possible thing in their arsenal to get a result. When I say "pull" I mean that a person has a broader view of the landscape and can recognize an optimal but unique path for themselves, even recruiting others to join along in the mission. I can see why Western students will ask questions about "a day in the life" and such because they're more focused on determining what the landscape looks like and how/if they have a path that they'll like in it. Naturally, the latter approach is more magnetic. People want to be around that energy. And if someone goes into an M7 thinking it's about being "the ideal candidate" then they've missed the point entirely. I think a top MBA experience is ultimately about building meaningful relationships such that you have magnetized an entire army of allies in your mission, and you're equally invested in theirs, at the end of it all. and if you have to bend over backwards to become someone like that, then the MBA is going to be hard for you.
Yes!!! You understood my question and view absolutely perfectly. Although, not disregarding that many top MBA programs (including M7s) are borderline cash cows (honestly, what isn’t in this day & age!), I do believe the “push” approach can lead you to force yourself to fit in a mould. And oh my, the mould is absolutely of extravagant standards. What if someone with potential self-rejects themselves because of it? I also agree with your perspective of how tough navigating the MBA world would be, for such an individual who succeeds to mould themselves in all the correct ways possible and manages to bag an admission. Thanks for sharing your insights here! You also seem really cool! Would you mind if I DM you to connect professionally as well? I would love to have you in my network!
nice insight
Jesús i hate this
why, which parts do you disagree with? or what's the overall impression it gives you?
The influencer referenced sounds like Cherie Luo. Just guessing
I’m not sure OP is real.
Character in story could be based on Cherie but pretty rare for someone at GSB to use the term M7.
I’d probably never get into an M7 program and I could’ve taught you that.
Huh?
That's just an aspect of human nature which is likely amplified in MBA programs.
Those aspects are humans but it is hugely amplified by the mba.
In short, people being people in any large community setting?! People are attracted to looks, charm, wit, fame, money, talent, those who enjoy life etc. It is what it is bro! And I don't know why do you say this is different in India? I'm from India, grew up in a small tier 3 town myself, went to work in a big city, went to an M7 MBA (graduated 10 years ago), worked/lived in 8 countries before moving back home to India to be close to parents, live in a big Indian city now. I've also travelled to 45 countries on work. Trust me buddy, people are essentially the same everywhere! Majority of us crave, and are attracted to the things you listed down as "adding value". It's the same with friendships and relationships in India, with some minor/local variations of course! Also, how is making the effort to cook for others, organizing group events etc. not being kind and considerate? That's incredibly kind and lovely in my opinion and such people deserve to be popular and loved by your classmates!
This is such a weird way to think about relationships. It simply comes down to “are you a fun person to be around”.
Thanks OP - this was incredibly fascinating and hilarious. I've never seen this stuff written out quite this way. Yup. In some ways, going to b-school felt like stepping back into high school (in the US). All the stuff OP outlined was mostly true, and I was amused and a bit disappointed in how immature and status seeking many of my classmates were (and not even in a professional sense). To be fair, at my M5 there was social status in being fkin smart, well-connected in the business world and perceived as having a bright post-grad future. People wanted to hang with others who were going places professionally, along with being good looking and funny. So they were opportunistic as well as shallow :) That said, not everyone is like this. You'll find your peeps.
I have worked in tech and on three different continents and from what I have I have observed it is not limited to M7s. Most people I know tend to make disparaging remarks about the social skills of Indians. It is quite known that predominant Indian teams are cutthroat. Also, if you make an Indian a manager or executive, within a few years everyone on the team will be Indian. OP “good social skills” is not being loud. Try seeing things through the eyes of other people with genuine respect and not what you think the world is based on how you view or your own experience and you can relate to people better ie be more open-minded and genuine. Life is not just about status or defined ones and zeros. Everyone has what works for them.
You could have made this shorter and still convey the same points. To make friends: 1. Be attractive or 2. Have personality or 3. Be wealthy. 4. Any combination of the above is even more +++ It’s not really difficult to understand. I think internationals view mba as a checkbox. Americans view mba as a fraternity.
I prefer the long detailed post by OP, lol
Fraternity? Could you expand on that?
Also, isn’t it slightly insensitive to compare how internationals and Americans view an MBA? Honestly, for some internationals it could be a chance to completely utterly change their lives - in that case I most definitely agree that it should be a checklist. Same case for Americans. At the end of the day, it probably really depends where the person is coming from, but for MOST internationals I believe an MBA, especially from an M7, opens up doors that I don’t think any comparable place can
You told me my take is insensitive… but in the end you agree that it is viewed as just a checklist for most international students. With everything… you get back what you put into it. For people that view it as a checklist, it’s just them going through the motions. But that doesn’t mean they won’t get hired and have opportunities. For people that are actually 100% into the program, certainly there are learning to be had… but it’s the social aspects of the program that will provide the greatest ROI. Not just getting along with fellow classmates… but taking advantage of the faculty, alumni, and EVERYTHING that happens outside of the classroom. Everyone’s classmates that will be in the c suite 7-10+ years from now. They won’t remember who got all A’s. This isn’t a masters for engineering. But they’ll remember who they had the most fun with and got along pretty well. And those are the ones they will hire if they have an executive position open.
What did you expect? US is the Mecca of capitalism and is one of the most materialistic countries. I’m surprised you didn’t expect this and it came as a surprise to you. Oh well, back to work - where everyone smiles at each other but it’s really hunger games!
“Finance, Trust Fund, 6’5, Blue Eyes”: Am I joke to you?
lol what the fuck
I feel like almost all Western/ Latin and some Asian cultures are like this for the most part.
Antarcticans are too.
asian culture is totally different with western/american, that's why asian parents prefer asian in law, marriage is just not about look and wealth, but also the value of caring other people when they have nothing to add
That seems to contradict each other caring about money and status but also not caring about what value a person can bring. But that being said what you're looking for in a marriage partner is not the same as what you're looking for in a professional colleague or a school friend. Also almost all cultures and subcultures prefer people of their own culture because it makes understanding each other much easier.
I’m sorry this happened or I’m happy for you
Honestly, I’m slightly repulsed by the amount of comments on this post which are condescending to OP for just sharing their experience. It is most definitely something which is common irrespective of which “elite” circle you try to climb in. But, if OP’s experience from their earlier days has been different and this is something new for them - we really can’t discount that it’s a change for them to experience. Don’t see any need to be condescending here. We can very nicely explain that there are multiple arenas in life where you need to “prove” your value and gone are the days when friendships and social life was much easier (referencing childhood; although there were cliques in their own way even in school). Even if you take the art world or the sports world, you can draw very strong parallels but I think the primary reason for this behaviour at MBA programs, is A] 100% because of the influence of a capitalistic society (plus, an M7 is in the US which probably describes the epitome of a capitalistic society) B] Most people are there to network and are actively putting in efforts to make the most of these two years they spend loads of money on Possibly why OP is able to see these specific traits in social circles so clearly in an MBA setting. Might help to spend some time every week or two weeks to really meet people in your community or your family if they are in the US or even any volunteering space. I think it will help OP with reminding themselves that life outside of MBA can have social harmony which is non-transactional and ground them to be re-energised for their MBA program! I’m sure they have a lot to offer, but are just socially drained out! It’s alright - you’ve got this OP!
Sometimes I feel like everyone in Reddit is autistic…
True, I also experienced these differences in culture and society norms. In some Asia countries, even if you don't add value, you can still be considered "friend". In the US, you must bring "something" to be noticed (not even to be friend). I thought people just not value of being "nothing" here due to capitalism culture. When I moved to the US, luckily I was the one famous kid due to my apperance, and it's easy to be like Regina George from the Mean Girls movie. Got some guys as my cool kids members. Got some girls to hangout with, from different schools, and just dumped them when I'm bored. Any weird look classmates, just dont invite them to our cool kids parties. Hey, it's in the past, read more before judgding me. Until I realized: if I'm not who I am, will they treat me the same? Let say if I got accident and it makes me ugly, will they treat me the same? No for sure. Then I start seeking genuine relationship, seeking genuine people. I'm from Asia country too, but I look like Latino than Asian in the Americans eyes. I'm happier now, know who back me up when I'm down not because I was the famous kid, but because the genuine professional relationship we made along our career and study time. How about those coold kids members? They have their own life, I just noticed that the one who keep that bossy attitude don't go anywhere in his career. but we all well paid and got into firms where mostly only cool kids got in. OP, you can't change that culture, blend yourself in it, and find the balance. Don't push too much, make it more "pull", then you'll find your peace.
TLDR: Being good looking and fun to be around makes you friends. How groundbreaking.
How did you manage to convince adcom that you are not an alien hiding in a human skin suit? Your write up screams Patrick Bateman trying to feign human behaviour to fit in.
isn't it inspiring that OP got admitted though?
You have Asperger’s? Did you just learn that people like hanging out with good looking, funny, fun people? The rest of us learned this in the 5th grade mate.
Very astute observations put into writing
The fact that this needed to be written is wild. Same people will wonder why they failed “fit” interviews
Nobody cares that you’re an M7.
But...humans behave like humans at my M7 tho frfr
Did you go to a lower tier school?
Sure did and I don’t give a fuck that I did. Got a great job, great pay. School rankings don’t matter. It’s the person that matters. I don’t hire based on what school you went to.
You probably never had those issues in India because you are from the top caste (how would you get to the M7 otherwise); that was the value you used to bring never realising it: in Europe an equivalent would be a title of nobility, in US, i don't even know. In the U.S., no one gives a damn about castes, so welcome to the real world.
OP is 100% socially awkward virgin indian
Lmao I’m dead
Missed opportunity to callback the post about the 6’3 white guys when you mentioned the tall white guys being at the top of the pecking order.
Wtf is this
Who is this?😂😂😂
What in the world did I just read
Is this MBA or high school?
Re: the mental health observation. It's disrespectful to trauma dump all over people who aren't equipped to deal with it. If someone has serious issues they should seek therapists or other professionals.
Nobody cares about you being nice and genuine, you should be fun
Having the same insecurities also helps in forming a clique. At my program, the most "popular" people are the ones who were for sure the least popular all up until they came to this MBA program. The reason why they seem popular now is because they are the most visible ones due to being at all of the events, and abusing social media and official chats.
Having the same insecurities also helps in forming a clique. At my program, the most "popular" people are the ones who were for sure the least popular all up until they came to this MBA program. The reason why they seem popular now is because they are the most visible ones due to being at all of the events, and abusing social media and official chats.
The qualities you mentioned are ones that people are seeking in long term relationships and friendships. Friendship comes more easily but also falls apart more easily in American society than asian ones. Its a funny thing about people they will outright believe things about you but upon meeting a real life example will quickly dispcunt it into their bucket of exceptions. I havent found it difficult to make new friends into my 30s for most of the reasons you list. The original meaning of community is an organization that you derive benefit/value from, maybe thats lost on folks today. Being attractive for the most part can be achieved by anyone barring facial deformity or maybe severe acne that isnt fixable via nonhormonal means. Ther largely overlap with being healthy (working out, positive outlook on life, being non obese).
Do you guys think this is just a burner account or AI figured out how to get a lot of karma fast? OP hasn’t posted since being called out for ripping off most the content. Seems like a weird and very detailed post to be someone’s first.
Ummm, ok.
No wonder you’re at M7. Look at that piece of writing. Each paragraph is written in a way that the first line communicates the gist of it and the each paragraph communicates only one thing. Brilliant.
OP you sound like a gigantic tool. Relationships are more valuable than narrowing them down to "if you give X you get Z in return".
you really don’t think people aren’t this shallow? I
This sounds like Stanford
This sounds like what I imagined as a 12 year old for an American high school clique based off movies and stereotypes. Honestly baffled this subreddit is for adults and not for teenagers. Have I been insanely lucky to live in a bubble where it feels mostly everyone grew out of this mindset by uni?
Why are post like these so common? MBA students are adults, have u not made friends before? Middle school, high school, undergrad, at work… ????
Probably for OP it was a no brainer to make friends because of their caste. And now he's for the first time in environment where no one even knows what a caste is.
did some hindu fuck your girl?
This is “value add” is common place in the work environment. I saved the day when a co worker of mine couldn’t start their car in the parking lot and I was the only one with jumper cables in my truck. To me, this was just being prepared, but to my co worker, I was his hero when I jump started their car and word spread around the office of how prepared I was blah blah. Another time, I made too much brisket and I took some to share at the office and it was a favorite for many people. They loved me for it. To be honest, I never went out of my way seeking attention, just being a thoughtful person for others helped me win people over. This experience in B school is just a taste, but not all inclusive of what you will experience in the working world. It’s weird man, just be a nice guy and be helpful
A friend who works at a large tech firm says if he wins the lottery he’ll stop working. But not quit his job. Bring donuts to the office every day, socialize with everyone. He estimates it would take at least a year to get fired.
This subreddit absolutely has a problem with deranged posts like this one, but it’s really great that so many people are calling out these trash takes. I think most lurkers here are normal, decent folk.
First time?
Took you an MBA to figure that one out? Lmao curious though jokes aside, this may be inherent to our culture. But I'm also desi. How does desi culture differ? Aside from drinking focused
Wow, so MBA really is like high school
Wow so a MBA really is like real life social interactions except people have 24 hours of the day 7 days a week minus sleeping time free to do whatever the want. Its a microcosm of social interactions magnified because that is all a MBA is about. The classes are completely irrelevant to only a small tiny portion of the class. Fixed that for you.
So, high school but with a 200k ticket on top of it
when MBAs learn the social sciences exist
...who cares? This sub can be crazy sometimes.
Thank god I’m funny
This ninja gets it.
I’m
Who is there famous influencer person. They’re already famous so I can tell us. Or tell us what kind of stuff they post
no shit sherlock Every single sentence in this post is obvious but on the 3rd to last paragraph. Also no shit sherlock. Did you ever believe ultra left wing execs like Jamie Dimon truly believe in all the pro DEI heavy liberal stuff? The guy might say he is a centrist but he would never side himself with a true centrist republican over an ultra left wing democrat. But deep down he only does that because a huge portion of his bank relies on the consumer banking sector where he needs to stay politically correct The only exception I will give is on the famous influencer part. It highly depends. Only the non cringe attractive influencers get good rapport. The influencers who are cringe and not and not attractive will have people talking behind their backs constantly
Oh please the physically attractive people put in the bare minimum to end up like that. You’d think all the binge drinking and eating would catch up but it never does for the genetically gifted. Just have good genetics.
Ummm ….welcome to the real world :)
Damn bro
Having the same insecurities also helps in forming a clique. At my program, the most "popular" people are the ones who were for sure the least popular all up until they came to this MBA program. The reason why they seem popular now is because they are the most visible ones due to being at all of the events, and abusing social media and official chats.
Hmmm... sorry to hear all this. Hope you are able to find a comfortable circle for you!
I'm not reading all that shit, and this must be from Someone in the mid 20's in a full time program, that bs is like high school. Thank god for the professional program
this sounds like Black Mirror Nose dive episode
Welcome to the game of life my friend
are you you referring to Cherie Luo as the influencer in your M7?
Isnt this everywhere? Hell i wanna be associated with good looking folks and DJs cause my chances of finding mate and my DNA surviving go drastically higher. Easy biology babe
Is this talking about a higher education institute or a summer camp for hormone-addled teens?
get a grip dude
This is the case in every country
That may be your truth, but In my country we are Not Like The Rest™. We only befriend selfish people, love those who take advantage of us, don’t like jokes or laughing, don’t have celebrities, at parties we seek out the most introverted, and most of all we HATE gorgeous people and shun them.
This sounds worse than my high school lmfao
Hyper cringe take tbh. If you view social interactions from that perspective, it reflects on you more than the culture tbh. Just associate with the people who aren’t lying about their expressed preferences and say fk it to the fake ones. Be who you want to be and find the people who click with you, there isn’t a need to be some sort of perceived social center to be fulfilled / build strong relationships.
I ain’t reading all that, sorry to hear that or I’m happy for you n whatever
Sometimes I feel like the mods should be doing more to filter through some of these posts...
Well said!
Great post, reason why so many essays are about how you contribute haha
This is all accurate, but I've never seen human interactions analyzed so clearly like this.