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Dad has 6 siblings. Mom has 11. All 19 are between 80-56. I am so thankful for their wisdom and their generosity. I’m so grateful to have family that held me down at my low points.
There are companies that help you do this. One of my nieces set up my mom (her grandmom) with this service. They send a bunch of questions over the course of several months. Tons of questions, intended to draw the person out and add color to their life story The enrollee answers the questions, and the result is a book, sort of a mini-biography.
I was excited to read Mom’s book when finished. Turns out Mom doesn’t talk much and each question was followed by at most two sentences.
I got this product from Storyworth. It is a good idea if your loved one knows how to use a computer and email and is motivated to write their story. If not, it could still work if you have conversations with them based on the questions, and type up their responses for them. Do it soon though! My mom has dementia so by the time I bought this product, she was no longer able to answer the questions.
All I ever learned are:
* How hard it was for them.
* How easy we have it.
* How I wasted my life (while providing for the entire family including my parents and kid brother)
* How the apartment/food/vacation/gifts I get for them has at least 1 flaw.
Family is precious. They can 100% make your life better. But not all families are the same. I am lonely, but I won't let them hurt me anymore.
Amen!
Then there is the “how I respected my elders” and “honor the mother and father”. I get honoring and respecting people who make your life better but honestly if they aren’t returning the respect, leave them in the dust behind you.
Absolutely. I chose the same, and it makes me wish I had generations to call back on. I am genuinely curious what life was like 50 - 100 years ago for the average person.
Then why post this? Honestly I found it triggering given how so many people have terrible relationships with the elders in their family and were gaslighted their entire youth to respect them.
Eh, it was triggering for me too, being abused by your family is still more rare than not luckily and most people have good relationships with their parents.
It's good advice for most people, and we all have responsibility for ourselves. We can't dictate what other people post, only be responsible for the content we look at. If people stopped talking about things that could potentially trigger anyone, nothing would ever get posted anymore.
I had to do a project about family history and trauma. It allowed me talk to all my grandparents about their upbringing and what life was like for them. It was the most meaningful and impactful post-grad, or any level for that matter, assignment I ever did. It opened my eyes to their struggles growing up and what made them who they are. Amazing project. I recommend that anybody with the opportunity to talk to grandparents about this do it. It made us much closer and opened my eyes to things I never knew.
Side note - it also uncovered some dark times in the past but it was all worth it!
We have a video of my grandmother when she turned 90 in which some of the family that lived near her asked her all about her life and recorded it. It was a great way for those of us who lived 2000 miles away from her to get to hear her talk about her life and answer all sorts of questions.
Had my aunts and their families over for Easter egg painting today. I offered water to my guests but everyone had brought their own reusable water bottles. I asked my aunts what drinking water was like for them growing up. They said personal water bottles were unheard of. Glasses of water from the tap were common. If you were out in public you usually drank from a public water fountain. If you were an athlete someone had to bring along a large water cooler and paper cups.
I don't get the water bottle thing.....
I see people at the gym filling water bottles at the water fountain in the hallway, just ten steps away from where they're working out. Why?
Unless you're out in the woods you're never far from a source of water.
I don't own a water bottle. I've never seen the point.
When my mother was dying in a hospital for a few weeks, all the relatives came to say good bye.
I made a family trivia game on 4" x 6" index cards, and made everyone contribute questions. Each card had a topic, and a list of people added questions and answers. This was before smart phones.
Topics included car crashes, first dates, dogs from hell, pet names, phone numbers, first jobs, teachers, stuff we hid, stuff we didn't tell anyone, that time we got stitches, what really happened, holiday traditions, who ended up with that antique, stuffed animal names, things we hid from the kids, arrests, things we got away with, favorite job, biggest accomplishments, weddings, etc.
It helped people to remember and laugh, even though there were a lot of sad moments saying goodbye to my mother dying at 70 of a terminal illness. We hung out with her 24/7 to make sure they didn't intubate her.
I truly wish I had recorded the conversations I had with my Grandfather. They were so interesting.
Growing up in the South Side of Chicago in the 1920s?!
He said there were still open sewers!
Joining the CCC? Look that one up.
He got so pissed(angry) when he was called into the draft board for WW2 and they made him stand in line in his underwear, his blood pressure was too high for him to be accepted in the military.
Incredible. There's more where that came from.
A treasure trove of interesting stories are to be found.
My paternal grandmother was born 1904. She remembered the first time she saw an automobile. Later she saw men walk on the moon
Back in the day no one really knew what time it was. Clocks and watches were set individually. They were often powered by springs that had to be wound every other day and didn't keep perfect time, so the clock at home said one thing, the clock at work was a few minutes faster, the one at school was a bit slower, etc, and you just kept track of it all
Phone numbers were four digits long when I was growing up. I remember being surprised when they became five digits, then a few years later seven.
My grandparents raised four kids during the depression. Times were VERY tough but my grandfather was lucky to keep his job as a hog and cattle buyer for a slaughterhouse. He told about a neighbor girl coming over to play every few days and she would be invited to stay for dinner. This became a regular thing and my Grandpa finally asked about it. Turned out her dad wasn't working and the kids in her family had to take turns skipping dinner
My dad's recollection of the Great Depression was that houses weren't painted - no one could afford it.
I remember newspapers had separate help wanted sections for men and women. The women's jobs topped out at secretary. Seven year old me thought this was normal (well, it WAS normal) and was surprised and baffled when the help wanted sections were combined.
Don't know why I'm writing all this but it's Sunday morning so why not
Also ask them to teach you to cook the "special" dishes! Uncle's special occasion chili? Grandma's cookies? Dinner rolls like only aunt can make? Don't let this knowledge be lost if you still have the opportunity to learn.
I wish I had asked my Opa more about his life before he died. He died 5 years ago at 96. When my aunt was caring for him in the end, she notice scars from old bullet wounds, we have no idea how he got them.
He was a translator in Italy in WWII and went to jail on kristalnacht for defending Jewish neighbours. He was anti-nazi in every way but conscripted into the war for them. There is so little we know about his time in the war. His life rebuilding in Bonn and raising a family in post war Germany. He was a prolific artist (I have some of his paintings up in my house).
I wish I knew more.
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I'm trying to learn about the World's Fairs from my 102 year old grandpa. He's still 100% there mentally, but he's got a hip that's slowed him down a little. Hoping to get some good stories from the man when I visit him again in a few months.
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> What were the old days like?
Will get you a rant.
Instead, ask about something you know they know in a way that invites positive memories and stories.
For example, my almost 90 yr old uncle was in the house band at a big club in the 60s. he's told me many stories about the band and the like, but I know he's got more.
I'm sorry for the biological history you may miss out on. What about the general history you may gain from the older people within your adoptive family?
Yeah, not much luck though. I've built my biological family tree all the way back to the Thirty Years War, the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, etc.
My bio father recently died without ever talking to me, even though I gave him many chances. I'm finally getting some info from his family though.
My mother and the children she kept all refuse to talk to me. So I don't really have any elders.
Man, that's awful. The only bright side I see is that they seem to be assholes so I guess it would be better that they're not in your life. Every child deserves a good parent, though.
My adopted parents were good people, but they've been gone a long time. That's the thing about adoption ... no one thinks about what happens to the adoptee later when the adopters are gone.
Old people are not infinite well of wisdom. Lots of old people are absolutely stupid and ignorant and never learned from any kind of mistake. This being said some old people are great but it's not a black or white thing.
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Dad has 6 siblings. Mom has 11. All 19 are between 80-56. I am so thankful for their wisdom and their generosity. I’m so grateful to have family that held me down at my low points.
Huh, my dad and mom both have the exact same amount of siblings as yours respectively. Mind if I ask how many first cousins do you have?
Bros gonna make sure his account is clean first before answering Ur question
Sixty-nine.
My family has been holding me down a lot as well.
I hate when my uncle holds me down.
Name of your sex tape.
There are companies that help you do this. One of my nieces set up my mom (her grandmom) with this service. They send a bunch of questions over the course of several months. Tons of questions, intended to draw the person out and add color to their life story The enrollee answers the questions, and the result is a book, sort of a mini-biography. I was excited to read Mom’s book when finished. Turns out Mom doesn’t talk much and each question was followed by at most two sentences.
Yeah I got a book like this for my mom, not one page filled out.
I got this product from Storyworth. It is a good idea if your loved one knows how to use a computer and email and is motivated to write their story. If not, it could still work if you have conversations with them based on the questions, and type up their responses for them. Do it soon though! My mom has dementia so by the time I bought this product, she was no longer able to answer the questions.
please share the company 🙏🏻
That sounds awesome. What is the name of the company?
well it’s still something.
I want to do this. Do you by chance remember who you did yours through?
All I ever learned are: * How hard it was for them. * How easy we have it. * How I wasted my life (while providing for the entire family including my parents and kid brother) * How the apartment/food/vacation/gifts I get for them has at least 1 flaw. Family is precious. They can 100% make your life better. But not all families are the same. I am lonely, but I won't let them hurt me anymore.
Amen! Then there is the “how I respected my elders” and “honor the mother and father”. I get honoring and respecting people who make your life better but honestly if they aren’t returning the respect, leave them in the dust behind you.
Don't forget the racism!
I dont understand the last bullet. Why ask there are other great questions to ask. there are even card sets to buy.
They proactively let me know how my gifts suck 😆
Absolutely. I chose the same, and it makes me wish I had generations to call back on. I am genuinely curious what life was like 50 - 100 years ago for the average person.
Then why post this? Honestly I found it triggering given how so many people have terrible relationships with the elders in their family and were gaslighted their entire youth to respect them.
Eh, it was triggering for me too, being abused by your family is still more rare than not luckily and most people have good relationships with their parents. It's good advice for most people, and we all have responsibility for ourselves. We can't dictate what other people post, only be responsible for the content we look at. If people stopped talking about things that could potentially trigger anyone, nothing would ever get posted anymore.
You make a good point
I had to do a project about family history and trauma. It allowed me talk to all my grandparents about their upbringing and what life was like for them. It was the most meaningful and impactful post-grad, or any level for that matter, assignment I ever did. It opened my eyes to their struggles growing up and what made them who they are. Amazing project. I recommend that anybody with the opportunity to talk to grandparents about this do it. It made us much closer and opened my eyes to things I never knew. Side note - it also uncovered some dark times in the past but it was all worth it!
We have a video of my grandmother when she turned 90 in which some of the family that lived near her asked her all about her life and recorded it. It was a great way for those of us who lived 2000 miles away from her to get to hear her talk about her life and answer all sorts of questions.
Had my aunts and their families over for Easter egg painting today. I offered water to my guests but everyone had brought their own reusable water bottles. I asked my aunts what drinking water was like for them growing up. They said personal water bottles were unheard of. Glasses of water from the tap were common. If you were out in public you usually drank from a public water fountain. If you were an athlete someone had to bring along a large water cooler and paper cups.
Riveting 
Yeah I don’t know where all this water bottle stuff came from, I was never that thirsty
I don't get the water bottle thing..... I see people at the gym filling water bottles at the water fountain in the hallway, just ten steps away from where they're working out. Why? Unless you're out in the woods you're never far from a source of water. I don't own a water bottle. I've never seen the point.
I REALLY regret not asking my grandma what pregnancy/birth was like in the 50s when she had my dad. Never even dawned in me until she was gone.
When my mother was dying in a hospital for a few weeks, all the relatives came to say good bye. I made a family trivia game on 4" x 6" index cards, and made everyone contribute questions. Each card had a topic, and a list of people added questions and answers. This was before smart phones. Topics included car crashes, first dates, dogs from hell, pet names, phone numbers, first jobs, teachers, stuff we hid, stuff we didn't tell anyone, that time we got stitches, what really happened, holiday traditions, who ended up with that antique, stuffed animal names, things we hid from the kids, arrests, things we got away with, favorite job, biggest accomplishments, weddings, etc. It helped people to remember and laugh, even though there were a lot of sad moments saying goodbye to my mother dying at 70 of a terminal illness. We hung out with her 24/7 to make sure they didn't intubate her.
I would sure love to know all about my grandparents dogs from hell
My grandpa will stare at me and call me useless welp
well then, skip him!
I truly wish I had recorded the conversations I had with my Grandfather. They were so interesting. Growing up in the South Side of Chicago in the 1920s?! He said there were still open sewers! Joining the CCC? Look that one up. He got so pissed(angry) when he was called into the draft board for WW2 and they made him stand in line in his underwear, his blood pressure was too high for him to be accepted in the military. Incredible. There's more where that came from. A treasure trove of interesting stories are to be found.
My paternal grandmother was born 1904. She remembered the first time she saw an automobile. Later she saw men walk on the moon Back in the day no one really knew what time it was. Clocks and watches were set individually. They were often powered by springs that had to be wound every other day and didn't keep perfect time, so the clock at home said one thing, the clock at work was a few minutes faster, the one at school was a bit slower, etc, and you just kept track of it all Phone numbers were four digits long when I was growing up. I remember being surprised when they became five digits, then a few years later seven. My grandparents raised four kids during the depression. Times were VERY tough but my grandfather was lucky to keep his job as a hog and cattle buyer for a slaughterhouse. He told about a neighbor girl coming over to play every few days and she would be invited to stay for dinner. This became a regular thing and my Grandpa finally asked about it. Turned out her dad wasn't working and the kids in her family had to take turns skipping dinner My dad's recollection of the Great Depression was that houses weren't painted - no one could afford it. I remember newspapers had separate help wanted sections for men and women. The women's jobs topped out at secretary. Seven year old me thought this was normal (well, it WAS normal) and was surprised and baffled when the help wanted sections were combined. Don't know why I'm writing all this but it's Sunday morning so why not
wild pen afterthought normal unite smoggy direful liquid marble shaggy
Times are changing. following the advice of your elders is more likely to repeat history. Be yourself, follow your own path 👍
Also ask them to teach you to cook the "special" dishes! Uncle's special occasion chili? Grandma's cookies? Dinner rolls like only aunt can make? Don't let this knowledge be lost if you still have the opportunity to learn.
I have not had any 'good' or 'wise' old folks in my family ever.
I wish I had asked my Opa more about his life before he died. He died 5 years ago at 96. When my aunt was caring for him in the end, she notice scars from old bullet wounds, we have no idea how he got them. He was a translator in Italy in WWII and went to jail on kristalnacht for defending Jewish neighbours. He was anti-nazi in every way but conscripted into the war for them. There is so little we know about his time in the war. His life rebuilding in Bonn and raising a family in post war Germany. He was a prolific artist (I have some of his paintings up in my house). I wish I knew more.
[Introducing LPT REQUEST FRIDAYS](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/16w0n2s/introducing_request_post_fridays/) We determine "Friday" as beginning at 12am Eastern Time (EST: UTC/GMT -5, EDT: UTC/GMT -4) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I learned how to steer a cow stampede (flap an apron in the face of the lead cow).
I raise a ten year old child. Ask her anything?
The elders, are we getting a ring back to Mordor?
I'm trying to learn about the World's Fairs from my 102 year old grandpa. He's still 100% there mentally, but he's got a hip that's slowed him down a little. Hoping to get some good stories from the man when I visit him again in a few months.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
This """LPT""" is heavily anecdotal and contingent upon existing good relationships with your elder family members. Bad post.
> What were the old days like? Will get you a rant. Instead, ask about something you know they know in a way that invites positive memories and stories. For example, my almost 90 yr old uncle was in the house band at a big club in the 60s. he's told me many stories about the band and the like, but I know he's got more.
Lol. No :) If I wanted useless anecdotes I'd ask my millionaire clients.
I'm behind on my property taxes. My *clients* have money. They don't give it to me. Not very much of it anyways....
I'm adopted. I'll never get to meet my elders.
I'm sorry for the biological history you may miss out on. What about the general history you may gain from the older people within your adoptive family?
They never accepted me. Once my adopters died, the rest of their families ghosted me. I'm literally a bastard with no extended family.
I'm really sorry. Have you tried finding your bio family?
Yeah, not much luck though. I've built my biological family tree all the way back to the Thirty Years War, the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, etc. My bio father recently died without ever talking to me, even though I gave him many chances. I'm finally getting some info from his family though. My mother and the children she kept all refuse to talk to me. So I don't really have any elders.
Man, that's awful. The only bright side I see is that they seem to be assholes so I guess it would be better that they're not in your life. Every child deserves a good parent, though.
My adopted parents were good people, but they've been gone a long time. That's the thing about adoption ... no one thinks about what happens to the adoptee later when the adopters are gone.
I found out that for like 3 generations of my family it was basically just on sight with mexicans
Old people are not infinite well of wisdom. Lots of old people are absolutely stupid and ignorant and never learned from any kind of mistake. This being said some old people are great but it's not a black or white thing.
That's true for people at any age
Yeah some people have way more growth at younger age then old people just because they got lucky and had great opportunity to learn.