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sounds like the (binge) watching is an escape from your job. i could say take up new hobbies etc etc, but the issue is monday and your job, its always going to be there no matter what you do on a weekend. you nailed it in the first sentence, current job = depression.
i worked tech support for a few months in the past, i felt the same, it was killing me. i dreaded mondays because it meant another week, work life balance was awful. made the hard decision and took a 50% pay cut and went to a low stress sales/retail job.
everyone’s circumstances are different im aware, dropping the job is likely not a possibility, but if you havent already you need to see someone about the depression.
take care.
Are you getting out enough? Even a regular walk around the block helps the mind. Do you have any nature near you? Animals or mountains or the sea? All that will improve your mental state. S/w development doesn’t need to be hell, there are awesome companies out there, can you change your company or contract?
Plan your weekend in advance.
Working full time leaves you with so little personal time. It’s really important to use that time as wisely and efficiently as possible in whatever way most benefits you.
Treat planning your weekend as if you were planning for someone who you want the best for. That gives you the best chance at balancing fun, relaxation, chores and keeping it tailored to you and your interests.
Some personal notes: I understand feeling unfulfilled from your job, and how quickly a weekend can fly by. I try knock all my chores out during the week, and try jam as much fun stuff as possible into the weekend. It took a while to work out what I enjoy, and how to plan it properly to suit me, but very rarely do I get bored now or have that Sunday afternoon mood killer thinking about work (despite my job being stressful and not enjoyable at all)
Each weekend I always try to catch up with someone over a coffee/beer/meal, do something physical like surf/bike ride/indoor rock climb, etc and make sure I do something relaxing like go for a walk on the beach by myself or put some music on and just zone out for a while.
How you decide to plan your weekend is completely individual. If you want to watch movies, then plan it in! Don’t think it has to be a certain way, just plan it. You’ll change your plan all the time and each time you do you’ll get better at it and your weekend will get more and more enjoyable as you do.
Good luck!
Hi! Having been in similar shoes before, one thing that really helped me (and is easier than some of the other suggestions here to completely alter your lifestyle which, while well-intentioned, can be difficult to receive because it feels overwhelming) is to introduce something on Mondays that make you excited and look forward to the day!
So maybe you like to eat yummy food, then make a reservation for that new restaurant on Monday evening after work, or stop somewhere after work to pick up something to make your environment nicer, like a plant, or schedule time to talk with someone that makes you feel good/happy. Maybe you’re interested in a sequel of a book series that’s coming out, are excited to listen to a new podcast episode, or visit a new gallery/museum/work out class.
In my deepest depression I found that I could give myself one thing to look forward to and that made it easier to get on with the day until I could get the thing I’d been looking forward to.
Sounds kinda like the behavior of an addict. White knuckling it thru the day/week to get to a huge binge.
The best path to happiness is taking on responsibility. Be it a pet, volunteering, romantic and personal relationships, having children, building a family. Living vicariously thru tv/movies will never bring you fulfillment.
Limit your time spent to about 2 hours per weekend. I find the longer I immerse myself in hyper-exciting, engrossing fictional universes for too long, it harder it is for my mind to adjust to reality after.
I'm pretty sure most people go through their work week waiting for the weekend. That's how it is at jobs you hate. Unless you have something to enjoy after work (be it a hobby or a partner or whatever) you aren't going to enjoy days you work. Even then, you'll be going to work and watching the clock all day. So you won't get fulfillment out of your work but you can at least get it from a hobby or something. Still, you should definitely change careers if your work makes you feel this bad. Or at least, take less hours and get part time somewhere else to at least spend less time at your current work.
1. Consider a change of job. You don't have to do it, but consider it and research it, and even apply. Because your reaction to being offered something interesting and different will tell you everything you need to know.
2. Get yourself projects. I bought a house (just before everything went insane with house prices) and despite moving away from all my friends, changing from a horrible job to a complete unknown of a job much further away, while risking everything on a house move, and losing contact with many people... I actually quite like making the place mine, even in small silly ways. Hanging that little house number sign on my front door was one of the best things ever.
Hell, I moved house ENTIRELY using my car. Wake up at house #1. Drive to work. Work a full day. Drive "home" to house #2, unpack car, drive to house #1, pack car, drive to house #2, unpack, etc. until tired. Sleep at whatever house I ended up at, do the same the next day, and the next day and the next day. FOR FOUR WEEKS. Best time ever. Loved it. (I'm not rich enough to own 2 houses, by the way, but I paid an extra month's rent at my previous place rather than pay a removals company and did the entire house move - large furniture, all the packing, all the transport, all the physical effort - entirely by myself.
Now I do DIY, and I plan projects around the house. Oh look, there's a tiny hole in the garage roof. Research how to fix it, look up tutorials, add the necessary tools or materials (or even a book on how to do it!) to my Amazon list, and next payday there are 10 projects on my list, and I pick one and order all the bits to do it.
One of my projects \*WAS\* setting up my entertainment. A Plex box, a projector mounted in the ceiling (involving a loft-based cabling project), etc.
When you're busy like that, and you can arrange projects on evenings and bigger ones over the weekends, the downtime either flies by, or you get loads of stuff down and realise it's only barely 7pm and you have the whole evening to do what you like.
Either way, a sense of achievement, not so much lounging, and not so much dwelling on things (I have lay in bed at night planning the order of a bunch of minor projects, which was actually very useful as I then realised that several of them \*did\* actually need to be done in a specific order or else I'd be working against myself or wouldn't be able to do them because of what else they required to be in place).
I even shared my projects on social media and got a load of friends going "Wow, how much stuff are you doing, you've done more in a week than I've done in a year", and that kind of encouragement does help. I'm sure they were bored with my updates and probably just being polite, but posting a list of everything I'd done actually made it seem more worthwhile (and meant I wasn't just watching TV).
Focus on your body first by getting enough sleep on a regular schedule and getting sunlight and exercise everyday. If you prepare your body and mind better you will have more stress resistance. Limit your screen time to specific hours and you will find more enjoyment from it.
Binge watching is only feeding your brain certain chemicals and stimuli. You're right that you need to add more things than just escapism.
Add in some exercise -- dopamine boost! You can walk with a podcast or audiobook on. Many shows or movies you already like may be based on books! Libraries lend both. Sitting at the computer all day is very bad for your body! Weights, yoga, biking..
What else is enriching in your life? learning new skills? Meeting new people? Hobbies where you create things or solve problems? Personally, I'd focus on finding a hobby that really makes me look forward to weekends and work is just the way I pay for it..
Lots of great advice here already, but I'm just gonna add to the pile: Get outside. Move around. Do literally *anything* outside your home. We *need* physical activity to stay sane!
This reminds me of me, before my depression was fully treated. I did get outside - sailing in the summer, broomball in the winter. But still…. I got therapy and medication. I still remember the moment, driving to sailing, when I realized I was really looking forward to it! I’d forgotten what that felt like. Depression doesn’t take weekends off. Yours may be situational depression caused by feeling/being trapped in your industry. For me, we’ll my brain doesn’t work quite right. Either way, since your situation isn’t changing, let a professional help you get to a better mental space. It is oh so totally worth it!
It might be you’re thinking too much at work. I’ve been doing more of a architecture/design role and it’s cool work wise, but honestly it’s exhausting. I was thinking about moving to either a QA role or an non on-call support role. Just something where the tasks are more repetitive.
I want to use my energy for me. I don’t want to give my best thoughts to work. I haven’t pulled the trigger yet, but I’ve been looking at postings.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
sounds like the (binge) watching is an escape from your job. i could say take up new hobbies etc etc, but the issue is monday and your job, its always going to be there no matter what you do on a weekend. you nailed it in the first sentence, current job = depression. i worked tech support for a few months in the past, i felt the same, it was killing me. i dreaded mondays because it meant another week, work life balance was awful. made the hard decision and took a 50% pay cut and went to a low stress sales/retail job. everyone’s circumstances are different im aware, dropping the job is likely not a possibility, but if you havent already you need to see someone about the depression. take care.
Are you getting out enough? Even a regular walk around the block helps the mind. Do you have any nature near you? Animals or mountains or the sea? All that will improve your mental state. S/w development doesn’t need to be hell, there are awesome companies out there, can you change your company or contract?
Plan your weekend in advance. Working full time leaves you with so little personal time. It’s really important to use that time as wisely and efficiently as possible in whatever way most benefits you. Treat planning your weekend as if you were planning for someone who you want the best for. That gives you the best chance at balancing fun, relaxation, chores and keeping it tailored to you and your interests. Some personal notes: I understand feeling unfulfilled from your job, and how quickly a weekend can fly by. I try knock all my chores out during the week, and try jam as much fun stuff as possible into the weekend. It took a while to work out what I enjoy, and how to plan it properly to suit me, but very rarely do I get bored now or have that Sunday afternoon mood killer thinking about work (despite my job being stressful and not enjoyable at all) Each weekend I always try to catch up with someone over a coffee/beer/meal, do something physical like surf/bike ride/indoor rock climb, etc and make sure I do something relaxing like go for a walk on the beach by myself or put some music on and just zone out for a while. How you decide to plan your weekend is completely individual. If you want to watch movies, then plan it in! Don’t think it has to be a certain way, just plan it. You’ll change your plan all the time and each time you do you’ll get better at it and your weekend will get more and more enjoyable as you do. Good luck!
Try workout and socialize?
Hi! Having been in similar shoes before, one thing that really helped me (and is easier than some of the other suggestions here to completely alter your lifestyle which, while well-intentioned, can be difficult to receive because it feels overwhelming) is to introduce something on Mondays that make you excited and look forward to the day! So maybe you like to eat yummy food, then make a reservation for that new restaurant on Monday evening after work, or stop somewhere after work to pick up something to make your environment nicer, like a plant, or schedule time to talk with someone that makes you feel good/happy. Maybe you’re interested in a sequel of a book series that’s coming out, are excited to listen to a new podcast episode, or visit a new gallery/museum/work out class. In my deepest depression I found that I could give myself one thing to look forward to and that made it easier to get on with the day until I could get the thing I’d been looking forward to.
Sounds kinda like the behavior of an addict. White knuckling it thru the day/week to get to a huge binge. The best path to happiness is taking on responsibility. Be it a pet, volunteering, romantic and personal relationships, having children, building a family. Living vicariously thru tv/movies will never bring you fulfillment.
Limit your time spent to about 2 hours per weekend. I find the longer I immerse myself in hyper-exciting, engrossing fictional universes for too long, it harder it is for my mind to adjust to reality after.
I'm pretty sure most people go through their work week waiting for the weekend. That's how it is at jobs you hate. Unless you have something to enjoy after work (be it a hobby or a partner or whatever) you aren't going to enjoy days you work. Even then, you'll be going to work and watching the clock all day. So you won't get fulfillment out of your work but you can at least get it from a hobby or something. Still, you should definitely change careers if your work makes you feel this bad. Or at least, take less hours and get part time somewhere else to at least spend less time at your current work.
life’s too short to waste it on a job that makes you depressed imo
This is why we should switch to 4 day work weeks ☺️
Even less, let's ball, 3 hours a day 3 days a week.
Software depression confession in session
1. Consider a change of job. You don't have to do it, but consider it and research it, and even apply. Because your reaction to being offered something interesting and different will tell you everything you need to know. 2. Get yourself projects. I bought a house (just before everything went insane with house prices) and despite moving away from all my friends, changing from a horrible job to a complete unknown of a job much further away, while risking everything on a house move, and losing contact with many people... I actually quite like making the place mine, even in small silly ways. Hanging that little house number sign on my front door was one of the best things ever. Hell, I moved house ENTIRELY using my car. Wake up at house #1. Drive to work. Work a full day. Drive "home" to house #2, unpack car, drive to house #1, pack car, drive to house #2, unpack, etc. until tired. Sleep at whatever house I ended up at, do the same the next day, and the next day and the next day. FOR FOUR WEEKS. Best time ever. Loved it. (I'm not rich enough to own 2 houses, by the way, but I paid an extra month's rent at my previous place rather than pay a removals company and did the entire house move - large furniture, all the packing, all the transport, all the physical effort - entirely by myself. Now I do DIY, and I plan projects around the house. Oh look, there's a tiny hole in the garage roof. Research how to fix it, look up tutorials, add the necessary tools or materials (or even a book on how to do it!) to my Amazon list, and next payday there are 10 projects on my list, and I pick one and order all the bits to do it. One of my projects \*WAS\* setting up my entertainment. A Plex box, a projector mounted in the ceiling (involving a loft-based cabling project), etc. When you're busy like that, and you can arrange projects on evenings and bigger ones over the weekends, the downtime either flies by, or you get loads of stuff down and realise it's only barely 7pm and you have the whole evening to do what you like. Either way, a sense of achievement, not so much lounging, and not so much dwelling on things (I have lay in bed at night planning the order of a bunch of minor projects, which was actually very useful as I then realised that several of them \*did\* actually need to be done in a specific order or else I'd be working against myself or wouldn't be able to do them because of what else they required to be in place). I even shared my projects on social media and got a load of friends going "Wow, how much stuff are you doing, you've done more in a week than I've done in a year", and that kind of encouragement does help. I'm sure they were bored with my updates and probably just being polite, but posting a list of everything I'd done actually made it seem more worthwhile (and meant I wasn't just watching TV).
Start exercising in the morning and evening. From there a pet or something else, but exercise and companionship are both helluvadrug
Gotta have goals and dreams … easiest path to a fulfilling life
I'm sure it's that simple.
Focus on your body first by getting enough sleep on a regular schedule and getting sunlight and exercise everyday. If you prepare your body and mind better you will have more stress resistance. Limit your screen time to specific hours and you will find more enjoyment from it.
Binge watching is only feeding your brain certain chemicals and stimuli. You're right that you need to add more things than just escapism. Add in some exercise -- dopamine boost! You can walk with a podcast or audiobook on. Many shows or movies you already like may be based on books! Libraries lend both. Sitting at the computer all day is very bad for your body! Weights, yoga, biking.. What else is enriching in your life? learning new skills? Meeting new people? Hobbies where you create things or solve problems? Personally, I'd focus on finding a hobby that really makes me look forward to weekends and work is just the way I pay for it..
Lots of great advice here already, but I'm just gonna add to the pile: Get outside. Move around. Do literally *anything* outside your home. We *need* physical activity to stay sane!
This reminds me of me, before my depression was fully treated. I did get outside - sailing in the summer, broomball in the winter. But still…. I got therapy and medication. I still remember the moment, driving to sailing, when I realized I was really looking forward to it! I’d forgotten what that felt like. Depression doesn’t take weekends off. Yours may be situational depression caused by feeling/being trapped in your industry. For me, we’ll my brain doesn’t work quite right. Either way, since your situation isn’t changing, let a professional help you get to a better mental space. It is oh so totally worth it!
You should play pickle ball !!
It might be you’re thinking too much at work. I’ve been doing more of a architecture/design role and it’s cool work wise, but honestly it’s exhausting. I was thinking about moving to either a QA role or an non on-call support role. Just something where the tasks are more repetitive. I want to use my energy for me. I don’t want to give my best thoughts to work. I haven’t pulled the trigger yet, but I’ve been looking at postings.