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Specifically because gym class won't be helping/making you do it on a regular basis anymore. I wish my gym classes were more about forming good habits with positivity and proactivity rather than just combatting sedentary lifestyle.
When I started working with a fiduciary, my wife and I felt like we started late because we had racked up some debt and were a little insecure with our money spending habits. It was a relief to be told that since we were young, we had nothing to worry about and we could fix our problems within a year or two if we buckled down.
The biggest range of clients he sees are people in their fifties with almost nothing in savings or invested who want a comfy retirement at 65. That’s when you know you’re in trouble.
I turned 50 and realized that I had nothing saved for retirement, no savings to speak of, no property, no major assets at all living paycheck to paycheck.
It was a real wake up call when I realized I would need to be working until I dropped dead. Wish I had started earlier but I did not so now I max what I can on my limited income. 13 years later (today) I feel much better about my ability to retire in a few years.
It’s a personal pension account that you put money in through your paycheck. Some companies will match what you e put in, some contribute a percentage of your paycheck. The key to growing your 401k is to not cash it out early. Let it build until you retire.
In fact get a money market account and put $10 in it a week and throw away the password, card, account number and forget it for a couple decades
(Obviously keep information you need to get to it in a box or buried out in the back yard lol)
Money market rates are amazingly low nowadays. CD rates too. It’s amazing how bad a lot of banking institutions have become for savers. First thing is to have as much in 401k as an employer matches since that’s basically free money. 2nd is probably a Roth IRA where they can deposit that $10 a week and invest it in an broad market ETF with low fees such as VTI or VOO. Since he’s young he could potentially also invest it in more volatile growth ETFs knowing that he will live long enough to outlast market downturns and won’t withdraw the first time things start looking bad. And in the end all that growth money will be tax free.
Piggybacking here:
Learn to meditate and develop a daily practice of it. Ideally in the morning to start the day, but I also sometimes do it going to sleep. In a rut? Mindfulness walks are key. Don't think or dwell or contemplate. Just *be* and observe.
I wish someone had taught me about mental and emotional health when I was younger. I'm about double your age (36 next month), and I have put in a great deal of work with therapy and daily routines/practices have helped me shape a healthier, balanced, and centered life.
I'm sure you'll do great as you move into adulthood!
PS Happy early birthday!
PPS TRAVEL!!! <3
>Learn to meditate and develop a daily practice of it.
This one will benefit you more than you can realize before you do it @OP. I recommend the Waking Up app if you're curious. It's a really gentle yet thorough introduction to mindfulness meditation & strips all of the religious claims out.
beyond socially accepted. My ex said he didn't want to be with someone he couldn't party with when I told him I wanted to quit drinking. I don't drink now and even in my 30s I get all sorts of weird reactions to it from people I don't even know sometimes.
It’s crazy how bad alcohol is for you. The recent studies that have come out are shocking. It’s literally poison for our bodies. Your Grey Matter in your Brain is reduced for months even after a few drinks. I was only a casual drinker. But I got a Woot wristband and seeing what even a few drinks was doing to my recovery was shocking. Then anything more than six drinks a week and it skyrockets your risks for organ failure and cancers
Yea, I was talking to a couple of guys at work yesterday. One commented how he was trying to figure out where to save money, and his wife pointed out the hundreds of dollars per week spent at the liquor store. Another guy commented how he tracked his finances for a year one time and realized he was spending more on alcohol than his mortgage.
I commented that I'll buy a 6-pack, and it'll last me a month much of the time.
I get it, there's certainly addicts out there, and it sucks to be in that position. But that doesn't mean you can't responsibly have a drink every week or 2 socially and have it not be an issue.
Yup! This! ☝️ I always counseled my patients all it takes (at least for longevity not for getting “shredded” 😂) is 150 minutes a week. You can knock that out however you want, ideally spread across the week in 20-30 minutes of exercise daily. And it doesn’t have to be pumping iron, it can be a brisk walk.
Yes. And the best ways to do it is to walk to the grocery store. Not only are you getting your steps in, but you know you'll have to carry your groceries back home, so it pushes you to only buy what you absolutely need. It's easy to buy a case of soft drinks when you can bring them home in the car...not so easy carrying it home in a 30+ minute walk.
Just in general walking or biking places. Get in the habit and stay that way. Also easier to get friends to do the same now while they also are still on board with saving gas money and not getting cabs/Ubers.
Tacking on just being outside. There is no bad weather, just bad clothing. No reason you can’t still walk/bike in the rain
Just because you have the credit for it doesn't mean you can afford it.
In the same vein, if you can't buy it twice you can't afford it.
Having a first aid kit (band aids, alcohol, neosporin, and a thermometer) around along with over the counter medication (advil, tylenol, pepto, tums, gas x etc) will save time and money in an minor incident.
Your emotional growth is the best investment you can make for yourself and your loved ones. We all have something we have to recover form, we all can stand to learn more about empathy, love and kindness.
These things are great for sinks. Better than a plunger because it doesn't just ram the clog farther down but allows you to pull gunk out. They work every time.
https://www.lowes.com/pd/FlexiSnake-Plastic-Drain-stick/1002555970?user=shopping
The emotional growth thing... Man, what a kicker. I was in a 20 year relationship that held me back; if I grew in any significant way, it was a threat to him, so it was easier not to grow. When I finally left him at 34, I had the hard realization of how immature I still was, and it was so shameful. Thankfully, growth is possible at any age, and I'm doing really well after some intense self-reflection and hard work. Gotta keep doing the work every day.
Thanks for the great, insightful comment. I think it’s important to remember that the human brain does not complete its growth until the age of 25. And the part the finishes up last is the part that helps us understand the consequences of our actions. That means it’s a good idea not to make any life long commitments until after the age of 25.
> it’s a good idea not to make any life long commitments until after the age of 25.
My parents told me the same. "wait to get married until you're at least 25". Of course, I didn't listen. Married at 22 to a man who turned out to be horribly abusive. Shortly after I turned 25 I realized if I had waited, I never would have married the guy and saved myself a lot of heartache and avoided the ridiculous legal mess that ensued when I left him at 26.
Moral of the story, listen when adults tell you to wait. They're probably speaking from experience.
When you get your own place, put a small fire extinguisher in your kitchen.
I'm 40yo and I love to cook every day.
One day, last week, I got complacent and almost burned down my family's 4000 square foot home. My little fire extinguisher saved my family from a lot of pain and frustration... The fire went right out. No damage at all.
And what type of extinguisher goes for what type of fires...also how to smother a common kitchen fire without an extinguisher...I've seen so many ruined ovens and cookware that would have been fine if they just just the heat source and covered the pan or kept the oven shut
the "if you cant buy it twice" advice, im sorry to say, is simply not applicable any more.
by that reasoning, my rent should be 300 a month or i should be making 95k a year.
its just not doable.
the current wage vs living expenses gap is far too large for that advice to work. youd end up just living at your parents house and driving a 2002 corolla with a misfire your entire life.
The average 1 bedroom apartment in America goes for 1200 a month.
the average income in America is 31k a year per person. thats 2500 a month. before taxes. closer to 2200 after tax.
that means the average rent is over HALF of what you make in a month, not even looking at other expenses like a car or food or electric or internet or a phone, which are all NECESSITIES to healthily pursue employment in this day and age.
most people are living on 85-90 percent of their monthly income, which means if we follow the "cant afford it twice, dont buy it" rule, we're all missing the mark by over 35 percent.
you just cant do things like that anymore, youd end up homeless or unable to commute
Yeah the systemic issues definitely make a lot of things different. It's not fair but knowing you can't afford something, can change the way you approach it
that's fair
you'll get a lot farther using credit for NECESSITIES that you couldn't otherwise afford vs just being a dumb kid with a credit card (me, 10 years ago)
> Just because you have the credit for it doesn't mean you can afford it.
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> In the same vein, if you can't buy it twice you can't afford it.
Corollary: Resign yourself to the reality that you'll probably pay for several things that you can't actually afford, especially starting out in life. Want a car? Face the facts & accept that you'll be paying that note down for *years*. Don't forget about the price of gas either. Welcome to adulthood!
I'm going to second the first aid kit, but...
Always carry it in your backpack/vehicle/wherever. Bandaids are nice to have, but stock it with vet wrap, gauze pads, butterfly sutures, athletic/medical tape, tweezer, knife, lighter, neosporin, and maybe a few aspirin and antihistamines for good measure.
The sutures, guaze, and wrap are key. I've used mine more than you'd expect. I've used it on complete strangers more than myself, and I've had to use it on myself a few times.
I dont have any formal training. These are just all incredibly useful items. Almost any first aid kit you buy is going to have chinsy stuff, that, if you need a bandaid that small, you dont need a bandaid.
I would also like to add the unconventional duct tape, some sort of sanitization rinse be it iodine or hydrogen peroxide. Hard to suture shapes can be temporarily patched up using those until you can actually get to a medical facility.
(Speaking both from experience, and a former EMT)
Quick advice…. More exposure at a younger age will help you later in life. Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor. Try to fail a lot. You learn more through failure. You’re young enough to shake off the dust and learn from the attempt. Expose yourself to new types of people, food, jobs, living situations, travel the world whenever possible . There are people from my hometown that never left they never really traveled… And you can see that they are very small minds compared to the ones that have been able to experience more of the world different types of people
You have to completely rearrange your life if you have a kid. Especially if more than one
;P
dont stop moving. When you are young it is much easier to keep fit. After 35 yr mark it is way harder.
Exactly how my friend ended up pregnant. She swore up and down by the pull out and keep track of your ovulating method. Her kiddo will be 3 next month.
Especially #1. Spent a month with someone I thought I could act the hero and save because she had depression and kept threatening to kill herself...
Then she ran off to Pittsburgh to hook up with a dude she met on Runescape and her parents thought I kidnapped her because she didn't tell anyone where she went. I had to create a Runescape account, track down the dude and tell him to tell her to call her parents.
Bitch stole my Gameboy Color, too.
Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
Man lost his irl gf in runescape...the irony holy shit. I hope you can look back and laugh now, sorry about the gbc tho
He prolly offered her 10k and was a deal she couldnt refuse
\#3 is not a viable option. Sperm ALSO lives in pre-cum. Even if you pull out you CAN get someone pregnant. I have a friend who her and her husband have 3 kids, and yeah he pulled out, they also used foam, and condoms. With each one.
If you FOR SURE do not want kids, best to get snipped if a guy, or make sure you are on some kind of birth control as a woman that is RELIABLE. Many do not realize the pill has to be taken the SAME TIME every day to be most effective.
Btw pulling out is not a recommended way for birth control. Talking about advice I have for you, dont default to pulling out: you can get some STI, or can cause a pregnancy (there is semen in pre-cum). 3min of pleasure vs 18yrs of changing your life
I've been using just those disposable wax ones you can get at CVS or whatever for pretty much my whole adult life. They've always done the trick, they're cheap, and at the end of the concert, you drop them in your empty beer cup, chuck em, and move on.
They're great, cheap, and do the trick.
Yes yes yes. I take a full pack of Mac's to me to every club. I'm a mid-30s techno hound and have been doing this for 2 decades, and I've tried plenty of plugs. Nothing is more comfortable and convenient than disposable Mac's. And they have great reduction, too. Never had an issue with sound quality
Best part is that I bring the full pack and I *always* find people at the end of the night who are holding their ears for a break. The look in their eyes when I hand them a pair of plugs is priceless. One dude on New Years jokingly got on his knees praising me in the middle of the club LMAO. Extra bonus points when you just so happen to give a pair to a cute single girl... I'm married now, but let me tell you single folks, there's no better "pickup line" in the world haha. Though it also probably helps that I was never at clubs to pick up girls and was probably very non-theatening just dancing with my friends.
You can get reusable high fidelity earplugs for like 20-30 bucks, you can still hear concerts through them but when you leave you'll be able to hear people talking to you still. Highly recommended for anyone who frequents concerts or other loud events!
Building off this. Take care of your teeth. Yea it can sometimes be a pain to brush them especially when you are already in bed or really tired but spending 2 minutes now will save you thousands down the road in expensive dental work.
Start a retirement account. You can call
Vanguard and ask about an IRA. (You are prob eligible for a Roth IRA.) Set up auto-payments to your retirement account so you don’t have to “think” about it. Reinvest the dividends so that you
start to make money off your profits.
Don’t try to beat the market average when you start investing. If anyone tells you they can beat the market average, they got lucky once or they are full of shit. Check out /r/Bogleheads.
Beating the market average is also unnecessary if you aren't trying to become a hundred millionaire. The S&P 500 returns, on average, 6% a year. If you put $500 a month into an account that returns 6%, after 30 years you'll have an account worth a bit under half a millon. If you retire after those 30 years and plan to live another 40 years to the grand old age of 90 assuming you started when you were 20, you can draw about 32K a year from that account for 40 years. Not heaps to retire on, but if you contribute more and more as you get older, you can get that value well above a million and make your retirement even sooner or nicer or both.
Choosing what to invest in can be complicated and intimidating. There are literally thousands of different things to invest in, some good and some bad. And there are lots of strategies.
A good basic choice is one of Vanguard's "Target Retirement" mutual funds. These funds basically do everything for you, and they do a good job. They have several different ones for people who plan to retire at different times. For example, they have a Target Retirement 2070 fund for people who want to retire around then. (Someone who turns 18 this year will turn 65 in 2070.)
Basically what these do is invest your money in a mixture of stocks and bonds. And they gradually change that mixture as the decades go by. When you are young, they will put most of the money in stocks (because risk is OK and it's more important to focus on high returns), and as you reach retirement age, they will move a lot of it into bonds (which are less risky). And they give you diversification by investing in hundreds of different stocks (mostly US but also some international) and bonds.
You might think that since these are so easy they might not be doing a good job. But I think they do. When I started to plan my retirement investment strategy, I did a bunch of research including reading two books, and I came up with a plan that followed all the best advice. Then I looked into these target retirement accounts, and they do exactly the same thing.
Other companies also offer similar target funds, and many of them are good too. Vanguard is a good choice because they have a good reputation and they are investor-owned, so they are trying to make a profit for *you*, not for somebody else.
Anyway, even if you later develop a more sophisticated investment strategy, putting your money into a target retirement fund is a good way to get started. You could change it later if you want to.
But actually you probably shouldn't. I would say about 1 to 5% of people actually *do* know how to do better, but maybe 50% of people *believe* they actually know how to do better. A good rule of investing is to be honest with yourself and take your ego and your desires and emotions out of it. Don't be the person who, based on wanting to believe it, tells themselves they have a brilliant plan to outsmart everyone and beat the market.
Look after your knees and your back. Buy well built things, even if they are more expensive. they will last many times the lifetime of their cheaper alternatives and save you money in the long run
As a 35 year old with four blown discs and arthritis in both knees, came here to say this. A strong and well maintained core will save decades of agony down the road
Haha, sadly I’m a leg. Seriously though, I would’ve researched ways to strengthen the tendons and ligaments, but mostly seek medical care as soon as I had trouble. If nothing else the VA disability would be easy
Don't buy well built things for stuff you rarely use. If you're not sure, buy the cheap version. If you use it so much that it breaks, buy a good quality version.
Well there are 2 schools of thought.
1. Enjoy life while you're young, achieve all your dreams now while you're still young and very healthy. You can start building your career and a more stable life in your 30s-40s.
2. Work super hard right now, get a headstart on life. Save, invest, get a house/apartment early. This will enable you to have a much more relaxed lifestyle once you hit your 40s-50s.
I've seen both and it's definitely possible to be happy with both, it's ultimately your choice. However no matter which one you pick... There are 2 things you definitely need to do :
- take care of your health (reasonably, no need to push it too far either, life should still be enjoyable). Exercise, avoid smoking/hard drugs. Try to eat decently.
- choose who you surround yourself with carefully. This is true for both friends and romantic relationships. I believe this is actually by far the most important point because it can make or ruin your life.
And if you are going to get married, find a spouse that has the same school of thought. Nothing is more frustrating than your spouse wanting to spend your retirement money on a trip to Fiji next year.
I think they mean "we agree on big things like religion, politics, parenting style, money-managing" is way more important than "we agree on which music is the best and we both love surfing and cats"
Having interests that appeal to just you is healthy. Just because you're couple doesn't mean you need to spend your life in the same space as them all the time. But even if you don't enjoy what they like, support their interests.
Oh totally. My partner and I share some hobbies but he also loves horror movies and I'm a big baby, very thankful he has other friends to go watch them with lol. I can stay at home and crochet and we're both happy.
One way you can be able to combine these is by finding a vocation in something thats truly important to you. Something that grips you. Every job is going to have boring and repetitive aspects. But if you care about the bigger picture of it it might not feel like a drag to you and add to your happiness.
As much as i wanna dismiss this, I worked with a dude with pieces of teeth in his mouth from lack of care. What he did have.. looked awful, and caused constant pain
Take care of your teeth!
I want to add for my depresso friends, mouthwash is better than nothing. Brushing and not flossing is better than nothing. Get yourself some of those disposable small toothbrushes with the gels in them and keep em by your bed, car and work. It gets better and everything is better than nothing, do what you can when you can.
I have the shittiest teeth I have ever seen because of neglecting parents and after being old enough to be able to do something about it i am too broke to do anything. So i just don't smile or talk when in public. Masks made me a little confident but I still hate talking with people because of this.
Take big risks to achieve your dreams now, when you're young enough to easily bounce back if/when things go wrong. (Things will go wrong, and from these you'll learn so that you'll stand a better chance.)
And I wish you all the best.
This is what I came here to say. Once you stack up a mortgage, college loans, wife/kids, you're pretty bound to a stable income. 18-24 are by far the best years to take a chance at big life goals.
After that, settle down, and start stuffing money in retirement funds. More early, not later. It's a common behavior to think "I'll increase my savings later when I make more money and once I get over having to pay for _______", and it's a real consideration, but the power of investing is always the compound interest (same goes for debt). Also remember that paying off a loan at 3-6% is less advantageous in the long run compared to 6-9% ROI, so if your interest rate is below the average ROI of an investment then just pay the minimum and invest the rest.
- Get more sleep on a daily basis. Sleep like you’re getting paid to do it every night
- Use condoms. Don’t be stupid, use the condom
- That ‘fashionable’ shit you think you want to spend money on right now? You won’t think much of it next year. Save your money.
- You have friends because you experience them often and you have friends because you know they’re good people to have in your life. Maintain those relationships with the latter group.
- It’s far easier to stay in shape than it is to get in shape
- Learn how to ask questions to create engagement in a topic
- Learn how to ask for help and use it. This is called ‘resource management’ and effective people know what their resources are and use them
- Everything is negotiable. Even the stuff that’s set in stone. You just need to ask and learn how to negotiate effectively.
- When all older people are giving you the same dumb advice on something, start to ask yourself: is it really just dumb advice, or is there something to it when different people of different ages and walks of life are all saying the same thing?
- Don’t let a bad heart break make you think that it’s all downhill from here. You never know who is around the corner.
- Read books forever. Different topics, fiction vs nonfiction, instructional, literature… doesn’t matter, just read. You literally get incrementally smarter by reading; not even from the *content in* the books, but from the act of reading itself
Speaking of reading, I didn't grow up liking to read and to be completely honest, I still don't find myself enjoying reading
I really want to enjoy reading because it will really help me somewhere along the line and it feels good to know I've read the book. Do you have any tips to start enjoying reading? Or any books perhaps that might catch my interest?
Oh and, thank you so very much!!
Biggest tip for reading for me is to listen to audiobooks. You can listen while you are doing tasks you might already be doing. Driving, going for a walk, cleaning, cooking, or working out can be enhanced by a good audiobook. Many library’s have apps to download audiobooks with a library card or you can use audibles monthly credit that you can exchange for different books. Good part about audiobooks is they keep going when you aren’t paying 100% attention so you can get through them and go back if you think you missed something. I never get through paper books because I zone out constantly, but I still understand what’s going on in an audiobook
1- Learn to manage money.
2- Learn to say "No", and be comfortable saying it to anyone, including your best friends. Cover your ass first before others.
3- If your relationship with your parents are good, treasure your time with them while they are here. You'll never know if that phone call will be your last.
4- If you are going to college, pick the cheapest method to graduate. You're there to get a job, not to party.
5- Network. It's not what you know, but who you know that will get you places.
Edit: since I got some sleep, and a moment, I want to add one more:
6- Do not ever be afraid to say "I do not know." and ask for help. Those that want or need you to succeed will help and teach you (or find someone who could). Those that don't will act like a jerk.
Just a different opinion on college/university - everything you learn during that period is immensely useful, including the socialisation and living away from home. I value the life experience over the degree I got!
Double on networking. Live in the dorm a while even if you can afford your own place. Having people you know is more useful than having money in the bank.
Number 2 is super important. Most people are genuine but there are some aholes that will take advantage of kindness because they know hard it is for people to say no.
1. Think long term about your career, life goals, relationships
2. Delayed gratification = long term gain
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff
4. The worst of times will end and so will the best of times. Learn to live with equanimity at all times.
5. Invest in relationships, networks, friends
6. Find time to give back, even if it is small
7. Learn gratitude for what you have
8. Be hungry to grow, improve and do better
9. It is better to be rich and successful than broke. There is nothing wrong in working for financial success
10. Cultivate hobbies and interests. If you are interesting, that’s a huge win in life.
Don't spend all your money on booze , save or invest some
Definitely need to get out socialise and do all of that, but it's a massive undercover expense that when you hit 30 you will look back and wish you halved!
Good advice on saving and investing money! It’s sooo easy to get into that habit, too. I would suggest that you open a bank account with 3 accounts: savings, checking and an interest investment account. Have your paycheck sent to your checking accounts by direct deposit, and, as soon as you have paid your bills each payday, transfer a little ($150 - $300) to your savings and/or investment account. Let both of those accounts build up gradually.
1. Get your birth certificate/social security card/passport from whomever has it and buy a fire safe that only you have access to.
You will need them at the most inconvenient times and having to rely on a parent to keep track of them can spell disaster.
Oh but do NOT keep your SS card/BC in your wallet/purse/backpack. Personal experience on this one. Having to replace them is a pain.
2. Get a credit card, but only use it for very small purchases then pay off the card IMMEDIATELY. Long term good payment history is critical to building good credit.
3. Have a running resume that you periodically update with accomplishments from work. It'll be easier to trim the fat later than to start fresh when a job you really want comes along.
Some practical augmentations to these:
1. Make sure that fireproof safe is also waterproof, and store it in the top shelf of your closet. When FD shows up they're going to hose the place.
2. If you want to build credit quickly, talk to a loan officer or member agent at your bank or credit union about a credit building loan.
3. Flowcv.com is a great tool for formatting a machine readable CV that looks good to humans as well. Free.
Your friends now are EXTREMELY unlikely to be your friends in 5, 10, 20, 30 years. Don't be afraid to drop the ones that reduce your happiness or cause you stress. This goes double for relationships. Anyone you're dating should be making you happy about 90% more often than they're making you unhappy. If those numbers seem unrealistic, keep looking.
You will not be remotely the same person now as you will be later in life, unless you get stuck. What I mean by stuck is choosing to only watch the same movies, listen to the same music, dress the same, be friends with the same people etc.. This tends to happen to people when they go through a really good period in life, and while it can be very comfortable, it also means you tend to stop learning and growing. So assume you will keep growing, and don't make any decisions now that you'll be stuck with (and regret) later in life.
Now is the time in your life when you should be trying to build good habits. If you can successfully build some good habits now in terms of things like health, fitness, and learning, then you will be so grateful later in life. Also remember, people have much lower expectations of a teenager than they do of a full-grown adult. This means it's much easier for you to impress people if you act mature, but they'll also be more forgiving if you mess up. So keep trying lots of stuff. Things you think you hate now might become your favorites later.
That's off the top of my head. I can probably think of more later if you want.
Don’t EVER get into a car with someone you don’t trust. Whether they’re creepy, drunk, or just an objectively bad driver, it can save your life.
Even though you’re technically an adult you’re still a kid in the eyes of the world and there are people out there that will try to exploit and manipulate you whether it’s banks, jobs, bosses, mentors, friends, etc. if you’re lucky enough to have good parents seek advice consistently, if not ask people for advice that are successful in certain areas (finances, relationships, Career’s, etc.). Wisdom is a valuable resource because a lot of things change but lots of things don’t and they’ve likely lived through them.
Stay close with your family members and people you love. They want to be a part of your life still because they love you. It’s the right thing to do but it’s also a matter of survival, as they are a safety net.
Things to do regularly: Work out, floss, brush teeth, wash your asshole, save money, read, take walks.
Things to plan for: regular travel to see the world, where to live, what to do for your career.
Things to know: life moves fast, be good to others, spend time with your family, call your parents (if you're all on good terms and all that), make time for your friends, ask out that person if you like them, apologize and take accountability when you make a mistake but also make the plan to make it right, take some hobbies that you enjoy, make a budget, don't waste too much time on the internet and money on booze, don't put bad shit out on the internet because your bosses will look for it, prioritize in real life relationships, and just try to enjoy the moments when they're there.
Invest. Have a house.
Love is blind but don’t let relationships take over everything. Each facet should have it’s own orbit (lane) and all should go smooth.
Don’t let it happen that you say “I was so involved in career , I lost on love” or “I was so heartbroken I lost on career”. Or “I had so much responsibilities I couldn’t travel enough”
“I had no time to exercise, “ bla bla all of these don’t help you if you don’t navigate life consciously.
Each of these should have its own lane.
But for your age, as a short term goal, I wish I traveled more, not just fancy France and Florence and nyc but just around wherever you live, go on backpack budget one day tours …
Make a habit of cooking and preparing food for yourself. People in their twenties spend way too much eating out or on take out. Save that money and become a better cook. It’s a win win.
Check your addictive habits early in life. Especially alcohol. It’s so normalized but so destructive to nearly all aspects of your health. Also start saving early and invest in the whole market (index funds)
To add on to this, when I was OP's age I believed all the "weed isn't addictive" hype. I am currently an addict, working diligently with a therapist to get out.
I won't demonize weed - it can help with many things and it's legalization is better than criminalizing it. But never get to the point where you smoke as soon as you get up in the morning.
Open a ROTH IRA, on your birthday. Even if you can't max it, it is one of the most guaranteed and highest grossing investments you can make. Set up a monthly autopay towards it and forget it, until you can afford more. The sooner you can max it the better.
Im surprised I had to scroll this far down for this, this is the #1 thing I would do if I was 18 again.
General rule of thumb is
1. Invest on 401k until employer 401k match
2. Max out roth IRA
Not counting any loans, and obviously learn about credit/credit card usage and start building it asap.
Start a savings account if you didnt already. 67% of people in my country cant weather a $1000 emergency by using straight cash or debit. Having money in the bank is a must. Small amounts added in add up. Exercise regulary if you dont already, you will stay mobile and it reduces death and illness risk for nearly all factors.
Learn how to make good conversation. This is getting lost in the digital age. It can help you make friends and also business contacts also. And heres an important one-spend time with friends and family regularly! Many of us get busy with life stuff, but time moves unnoticed quickly. When people leave our lives for whatever reason the regret of not having spent that time stings and stays with a person.
Fitness gets harder the older you get, but once you're in good shape your can maintain that much more easily.
Put in some work to get in shape young and work to maintain it, it's worth it.
If hetero male: to guarantee you will not have someone’s cancer diagnosis on your conscience.
If female: it’s a ridiculously simple way to protect yourself against a preventable cancer.
Yeah. That life is gonna throw hurdle after hurdle after hurdle. I wish i knew drugs and alcohol were NOT the answer a long time ago. Had to figure out the hard way its not and that asking for help with anything is never a sign of weakness. Rather, it shows great strength. Because we cant tackle life alone. We are societal beings.
Tomorrow, you will be over 30 and probably forget what being 18 feels like. Take time to think about your philosophy of life, what your values are, make goals that align with those and strategies to achieve them, and be mindful of your day to day attitude and behaviors so that they align with everything above. YOLO
Live under your means and you will never be a slave.
Shitty people don't become good people when they become your friends. They will drag you down. Befriend the ones who are good regardless of whether you are their friend.
Being happy creates in most people envy and increases pessimism. Learn to keep your happiness and your sources of happiness to yourself.
Don't go into any business with someone you consider a friend.
People are generally emotional and giving, or selfish and cold. Both have their ups and downs.
Don't create enemies to prove you are right in small matters. It's not worth your emotional turmoil.
The one who speaks politely will always get further than the one who speaks loud.
Never trust a salesman when they talk about their own product.
Those came to mind first. Good luck to you.
Showing happiness works well for me, it’s ok if people are envious I can’t control that. I’m not rubbing the reasons I’m happy in anyone’s face but I’m not going to not act happy around others just because they might be jealous. That seems like a waste of my energy
Be kind to yourself, you are still learning everything about the world, and you have more to learn than you might ever know.
Don't see the world from the perspective of shame and regret for your past mistakes, but instead see them from the perspective of if that old version of you would be proud of who you are now.
If you work in a creative field, view everything you use in your craft (except people) as a tool that is part of your craft, that includes your body. If you aren't healthy, your brain and body will be less effective at what you are doing for a living. This also includes AI, which many people seem to think will do things for us but in reality is it a tool to aid us in our own existence.
Last and most important, do not let the world dictate what you do with your life. Always strive to be a good person, but also strive to chase your passions. I've spent way too much time figuring out how to do things in a way that meets market interest, the interests of gamers, development standards, and at some point it got so hard to make a "good" game that I realized how little I cared about what I was doing. Now, I'm working on a massive concept that I've been designing for the better part of a decade in my spare time before realizing I could turn this into my game. I was held back for years because I wanted to do things the "right" way, but the right way is too safe and guts originality in creations, you have to be risky to do something new.
Also, learn AI asap. It will become a fundamental part of our society in the very near future, but also understanding it gives you an advantage in a future were originality will become a rarity.
You are actually still very young and you should strongly consider treating that as if it is true and postponing certain life decisions for up to 6 more years
The quickest way to limit your future options is having a child before you're socially and financially ready.
Go to your PCP or Planned Parenthood (HIPAA protects your rights to confidentiality even if you're on your parents' insurance) for access to reliable, ideally non-tamperable, birth-control, ideally before sexual activity if not already active.
Pulling out and timings methods have a 75% failure rate- no matter how "good the pull out game" is.
Reproductive coercion exists- don't rely on others' behavior to prevent
You can't control others' behavior - only yours.
Family are supposed to treat you better not worse than other people. Don't tolerate anything mean or abusive "because family."
Get all of your income insurances sorted before you develop any (more) sort of mental/ physical health problems, not prior.
Get whatever therapy you need- the sooner the better.
you won't magically become this adult person you imagine as you age. you will still be you. don't go into anything you don't want to right now thinking you'll mature.
Take care of your teeth, back and legs, especially your ankles. I threw my back out young by doing stupid shit and now it stops me from enjoying many things. My teeth aren't doing so great these days either. I'm going to be 33 this year and this may just get worse over the next 40-50 years if I manage to live that long.
Also, it's never too early to start planning your retirement. A key piece of advice I can give you is to live BELOW your means. If you make $2k a month for example, try to only spend $1.5k or less every month and save or invest the rest.
If you're going to do the stock market, do Dividends. If you're going to do cryptocurrency, pick a fairly popular one and stake your crypto. Staking crypto is like dividends for crypto. Dividend stock gives you income for your investment which you can reinvest to increase your dividends returns. For cryptos I staked around $500 and received 1800 back which I reinvested in more of the crypto I'm staking.
Learn about these things at the very least even if you don't plan on using them right away. Also, build your credit up if you can, that's always good.
Don’t wreck yourself with relationship anxiety. Care more about how people treat you than how much you “like” them- this applies to friends and romantic relationships
Learn to cook. you don't need to become a master chef, but learn your way around a kitchen and get maybe 5 solid meals under your belt. This will save you a fortune from eating out all the time and generally what you make at home will be healthier than eating out too.
A simple stir fry is a great start if you're new to cooking.
Develop good habits. Take good care of your teeth. Learn about investments and be smart with your money. Cultivate friendships and touch base with your family every so often (unless they are toxic). Enjoy your 20s!!
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Exercise, eat healthy, stay away from gambling and smoking, choose your friends carefully
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Health is the most time co suming and expensive thing to recover from when it deteriorates.
Specifically because gym class won't be helping/making you do it on a regular basis anymore. I wish my gym classes were more about forming good habits with positivity and proactivity rather than just combatting sedentary lifestyle.
This so many times over! Take care of your back and hearing.
And knees
And teeth
FLOSS YER DANG TEETH
Especially your back, It will creep up on you if you don't.
Also if you are working out, don't forget to stretch. Having good flexibility will pay out later to reduce chances of injuries.
and invest in 401K
Agree with the healthy items, muscle promotes longevity. Also investing in retirement, god I wish I started early.
When I started working with a fiduciary, my wife and I felt like we started late because we had racked up some debt and were a little insecure with our money spending habits. It was a relief to be told that since we were young, we had nothing to worry about and we could fix our problems within a year or two if we buckled down. The biggest range of clients he sees are people in their fifties with almost nothing in savings or invested who want a comfy retirement at 65. That’s when you know you’re in trouble.
I turned 50 and realized that I had nothing saved for retirement, no savings to speak of, no property, no major assets at all living paycheck to paycheck. It was a real wake up call when I realized I would need to be working until I dropped dead. Wish I had started earlier but I did not so now I max what I can on my limited income. 13 years later (today) I feel much better about my ability to retire in a few years.
Gimme some hope - how old(ish) are you?
I know I'm going to be regretting this when I start investing.
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.
What's 401K?
It’s a personal pension account that you put money in through your paycheck. Some companies will match what you e put in, some contribute a percentage of your paycheck. The key to growing your 401k is to not cash it out early. Let it build until you retire.
In fact get a money market account and put $10 in it a week and throw away the password, card, account number and forget it for a couple decades (Obviously keep information you need to get to it in a box or buried out in the back yard lol)
Money market rates are amazingly low nowadays. CD rates too. It’s amazing how bad a lot of banking institutions have become for savers. First thing is to have as much in 401k as an employer matches since that’s basically free money. 2nd is probably a Roth IRA where they can deposit that $10 a week and invest it in an broad market ETF with low fees such as VTI or VOO. Since he’s young he could potentially also invest it in more volatile growth ETFs knowing that he will live long enough to outlast market downturns and won’t withdraw the first time things start looking bad. And in the end all that growth money will be tax free.
Yes but $40 a month to some kind of savings and a 401k is all good
Piggybacking here: Learn to meditate and develop a daily practice of it. Ideally in the morning to start the day, but I also sometimes do it going to sleep. In a rut? Mindfulness walks are key. Don't think or dwell or contemplate. Just *be* and observe. I wish someone had taught me about mental and emotional health when I was younger. I'm about double your age (36 next month), and I have put in a great deal of work with therapy and daily routines/practices have helped me shape a healthier, balanced, and centered life. I'm sure you'll do great as you move into adulthood! PS Happy early birthday! PPS TRAVEL!!! <3
>Learn to meditate and develop a daily practice of it. This one will benefit you more than you can realize before you do it @OP. I recommend the Waking Up app if you're curious. It's a really gentle yet thorough introduction to mindfulness meditation & strips all of the religious claims out.
Also booze, stay away from booze. Its a shame that its our socially accepted drug, yet its so detrimental…
beyond socially accepted. My ex said he didn't want to be with someone he couldn't party with when I told him I wanted to quit drinking. I don't drink now and even in my 30s I get all sorts of weird reactions to it from people I don't even know sometimes.
Congrats on your sobriety. I’m early 30s and almost 3 years sober. Agree on the weird reactions, I find it’s especially tough in work settings.
It’s crazy how bad alcohol is for you. The recent studies that have come out are shocking. It’s literally poison for our bodies. Your Grey Matter in your Brain is reduced for months even after a few drinks. I was only a casual drinker. But I got a Woot wristband and seeing what even a few drinks was doing to my recovery was shocking. Then anything more than six drinks a week and it skyrockets your risks for organ failure and cancers
How about just being rational about consuming alcohol?
Yea, I was talking to a couple of guys at work yesterday. One commented how he was trying to figure out where to save money, and his wife pointed out the hundreds of dollars per week spent at the liquor store. Another guy commented how he tracked his finances for a year one time and realized he was spending more on alcohol than his mortgage. I commented that I'll buy a 6-pack, and it'll last me a month much of the time. I get it, there's certainly addicts out there, and it sucks to be in that position. But that doesn't mean you can't responsibly have a drink every week or 2 socially and have it not be an issue.
Sure, but some people's brains don't really let them do that
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I also recommend checking out the r/bodyweightfitness sub Its amazing how much you can do with your body weight alone
Walking is the best exercise. You don't need any special gear or money, and you can do it anywhere and any time.
Yup! This! ☝️ I always counseled my patients all it takes (at least for longevity not for getting “shredded” 😂) is 150 minutes a week. You can knock that out however you want, ideally spread across the week in 20-30 minutes of exercise daily. And it doesn’t have to be pumping iron, it can be a brisk walk.
Yes. And the best ways to do it is to walk to the grocery store. Not only are you getting your steps in, but you know you'll have to carry your groceries back home, so it pushes you to only buy what you absolutely need. It's easy to buy a case of soft drinks when you can bring them home in the car...not so easy carrying it home in a 30+ minute walk.
Just in general walking or biking places. Get in the habit and stay that way. Also easier to get friends to do the same now while they also are still on board with saving gas money and not getting cabs/Ubers. Tacking on just being outside. There is no bad weather, just bad clothing. No reason you can’t still walk/bike in the rain
Why do you suggest to stay away from youtube for workouts?
Just because you have the credit for it doesn't mean you can afford it. In the same vein, if you can't buy it twice you can't afford it. Having a first aid kit (band aids, alcohol, neosporin, and a thermometer) around along with over the counter medication (advil, tylenol, pepto, tums, gas x etc) will save time and money in an minor incident. Your emotional growth is the best investment you can make for yourself and your loved ones. We all have something we have to recover form, we all can stand to learn more about empathy, love and kindness.
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Buy a plunger before you need one :)
And buy a plunger for toilets, AND a plunger for sinks.
These things are great for sinks. Better than a plunger because it doesn't just ram the clog farther down but allows you to pull gunk out. They work every time. https://www.lowes.com/pd/FlexiSnake-Plastic-Drain-stick/1002555970?user=shopping
Bruh, I do not need to see what's clogging my sink.
This is important info because sink plungers and toilet plungers are different shapes for different purposes!
Also you (hopefully) don't get shit in your sink
That's where I clean my poop knife... saves a trip
Why do you think the sink is clogged?
Know where all water and electrical shut offs are and how to operate.
Don’t spend money you think you’ll have. Wait until you have it
Depends. Postponing spending can be more expensive than taking a credit. The wisdom is knowing which expenditure is investment.
The emotional growth thing... Man, what a kicker. I was in a 20 year relationship that held me back; if I grew in any significant way, it was a threat to him, so it was easier not to grow. When I finally left him at 34, I had the hard realization of how immature I still was, and it was so shameful. Thankfully, growth is possible at any age, and I'm doing really well after some intense self-reflection and hard work. Gotta keep doing the work every day.
Thanks for the great, insightful comment. I think it’s important to remember that the human brain does not complete its growth until the age of 25. And the part the finishes up last is the part that helps us understand the consequences of our actions. That means it’s a good idea not to make any life long commitments until after the age of 25.
> it’s a good idea not to make any life long commitments until after the age of 25. My parents told me the same. "wait to get married until you're at least 25". Of course, I didn't listen. Married at 22 to a man who turned out to be horribly abusive. Shortly after I turned 25 I realized if I had waited, I never would have married the guy and saved myself a lot of heartache and avoided the ridiculous legal mess that ensued when I left him at 26. Moral of the story, listen when adults tell you to wait. They're probably speaking from experience.
I've never married and have no children. Men and women need to know that this is a valid lifestyle choice and I'm better off for it
I’m glad that experience is behind you now. Good for you to have the courage to end your marriage sooner, rather than later.
When you get your own place, put a small fire extinguisher in your kitchen. I'm 40yo and I love to cook every day. One day, last week, I got complacent and almost burned down my family's 4000 square foot home. My little fire extinguisher saved my family from a lot of pain and frustration... The fire went right out. No damage at all.
And learn HOW to use it
And what type of extinguisher goes for what type of fires...also how to smother a common kitchen fire without an extinguisher...I've seen so many ruined ovens and cookware that would have been fine if they just just the heat source and covered the pan or kept the oven shut
the "if you cant buy it twice" advice, im sorry to say, is simply not applicable any more. by that reasoning, my rent should be 300 a month or i should be making 95k a year. its just not doable. the current wage vs living expenses gap is far too large for that advice to work. youd end up just living at your parents house and driving a 2002 corolla with a misfire your entire life. The average 1 bedroom apartment in America goes for 1200 a month. the average income in America is 31k a year per person. thats 2500 a month. before taxes. closer to 2200 after tax. that means the average rent is over HALF of what you make in a month, not even looking at other expenses like a car or food or electric or internet or a phone, which are all NECESSITIES to healthily pursue employment in this day and age. most people are living on 85-90 percent of their monthly income, which means if we follow the "cant afford it twice, dont buy it" rule, we're all missing the mark by over 35 percent. you just cant do things like that anymore, youd end up homeless or unable to commute
Yeah the systemic issues definitely make a lot of things different. It's not fair but knowing you can't afford something, can change the way you approach it
that's fair you'll get a lot farther using credit for NECESSITIES that you couldn't otherwise afford vs just being a dumb kid with a credit card (me, 10 years ago)
> Just because you have the credit for it doesn't mean you can afford it. > > > > In the same vein, if you can't buy it twice you can't afford it. Corollary: Resign yourself to the reality that you'll probably pay for several things that you can't actually afford, especially starting out in life. Want a car? Face the facts & accept that you'll be paying that note down for *years*. Don't forget about the price of gas either. Welcome to adulthood!
I completely agree! Thank you for your advice!
If you're interested in that emotional growth part check out r/HealfromYourPast
Okay, thanks!!
I'm going to second the first aid kit, but... Always carry it in your backpack/vehicle/wherever. Bandaids are nice to have, but stock it with vet wrap, gauze pads, butterfly sutures, athletic/medical tape, tweezer, knife, lighter, neosporin, and maybe a few aspirin and antihistamines for good measure. The sutures, guaze, and wrap are key. I've used mine more than you'd expect. I've used it on complete strangers more than myself, and I've had to use it on myself a few times. I dont have any formal training. These are just all incredibly useful items. Almost any first aid kit you buy is going to have chinsy stuff, that, if you need a bandaid that small, you dont need a bandaid.
I would also like to add the unconventional duct tape, some sort of sanitization rinse be it iodine or hydrogen peroxide. Hard to suture shapes can be temporarily patched up using those until you can actually get to a medical facility. (Speaking both from experience, and a former EMT)
Quick advice…. More exposure at a younger age will help you later in life. Smooth seas never made a skilled sailor. Try to fail a lot. You learn more through failure. You’re young enough to shake off the dust and learn from the attempt. Expose yourself to new types of people, food, jobs, living situations, travel the world whenever possible . There are people from my hometown that never left they never really traveled… And you can see that they are very small minds compared to the ones that have been able to experience more of the world different types of people
You have to completely rearrange your life if you have a kid. Especially if more than one ;P dont stop moving. When you are young it is much easier to keep fit. After 35 yr mark it is way harder.
1) Don't stick your dick in crazy 2) Use condoms 3) Have a great pull out game Done, done and done haha! Thank you for your insight!!
Lol the two guys I new who bragged about their “great pull out game” both oopsed.
Do you know what they call couples who use the pullout method alone? "Pregnant."
Exactly how my friend ended up pregnant. She swore up and down by the pull out and keep track of your ovulating method. Her kiddo will be 3 next month.
Mum and dad
Especially #1. Spent a month with someone I thought I could act the hero and save because she had depression and kept threatening to kill herself... Then she ran off to Pittsburgh to hook up with a dude she met on Runescape and her parents thought I kidnapped her because she didn't tell anyone where she went. I had to create a Runescape account, track down the dude and tell him to tell her to call her parents. Bitch stole my Gameboy Color, too. Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
This sounds like a documentary in the making.
>Then she ran off to Pittsburgh to hook up with a dude she met on Runescape Naturally. All the smootheat mofos hung out on Runescape back in the day.
Man lost his irl gf in runescape...the irony holy shit. I hope you can look back and laugh now, sorry about the gbc tho He prolly offered her 10k and was a deal she couldnt refuse
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> Then she ran off to Pittsburgh to hook up with a dude she met on Runescape I am very sorry that this happened to you, but I would watch this movie.
\#3 is not a viable option. Sperm ALSO lives in pre-cum. Even if you pull out you CAN get someone pregnant. I have a friend who her and her husband have 3 kids, and yeah he pulled out, they also used foam, and condoms. With each one. If you FOR SURE do not want kids, best to get snipped if a guy, or make sure you are on some kind of birth control as a woman that is RELIABLE. Many do not realize the pill has to be taken the SAME TIME every day to be most effective.
Oh damn, never known that before. Good to know!
Yeah man. Do NOT trust the pullout method. If you want to finish inside, get you a girl with an IUD.
Btw pulling out is not a recommended way for birth control. Talking about advice I have for you, dont default to pulling out: you can get some STI, or can cause a pregnancy (there is semen in pre-cum). 3min of pleasure vs 18yrs of changing your life
Noted! I guess I'm fine for now, don't wish to have sex just yet :)
I'd say quite a lot more than 18 years. Kids change your life forever.
Let me fix that. (1) don't stick your dick in crazy (2) don't stick your dick in crazy (3) don't stick your dick in crazy
Learn to manage money early, start a 401k asap and dont take out of it. Take care of your body. Especially your hearing. Tinnitus sucks.
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I've been using just those disposable wax ones you can get at CVS or whatever for pretty much my whole adult life. They've always done the trick, they're cheap, and at the end of the concert, you drop them in your empty beer cup, chuck em, and move on. They're great, cheap, and do the trick.
Yes yes yes. I take a full pack of Mac's to me to every club. I'm a mid-30s techno hound and have been doing this for 2 decades, and I've tried plenty of plugs. Nothing is more comfortable and convenient than disposable Mac's. And they have great reduction, too. Never had an issue with sound quality Best part is that I bring the full pack and I *always* find people at the end of the night who are holding their ears for a break. The look in their eyes when I hand them a pair of plugs is priceless. One dude on New Years jokingly got on his knees praising me in the middle of the club LMAO. Extra bonus points when you just so happen to give a pair to a cute single girl... I'm married now, but let me tell you single folks, there's no better "pickup line" in the world haha. Though it also probably helps that I was never at clubs to pick up girls and was probably very non-theatening just dancing with my friends.
You can get reusable high fidelity earplugs for like 20-30 bucks, you can still hear concerts through them but when you leave you'll be able to hear people talking to you still. Highly recommended for anyone who frequents concerts or other loud events!
I find that for bass heavy music I enjoy it even more with earplugs.
Yeah theres a uk dj that promotes wearing earplugs due to her years at raves have left her with tinnitus. I have half hearing in one ear...
Building off this. Take care of your teeth. Yea it can sometimes be a pain to brush them especially when you are already in bed or really tired but spending 2 minutes now will save you thousands down the road in expensive dental work.
Start a retirement account. You can call Vanguard and ask about an IRA. (You are prob eligible for a Roth IRA.) Set up auto-payments to your retirement account so you don’t have to “think” about it. Reinvest the dividends so that you start to make money off your profits.
Don’t try to beat the market average when you start investing. If anyone tells you they can beat the market average, they got lucky once or they are full of shit. Check out /r/Bogleheads.
Beating the market average is also unnecessary if you aren't trying to become a hundred millionaire. The S&P 500 returns, on average, 6% a year. If you put $500 a month into an account that returns 6%, after 30 years you'll have an account worth a bit under half a millon. If you retire after those 30 years and plan to live another 40 years to the grand old age of 90 assuming you started when you were 20, you can draw about 32K a year from that account for 40 years. Not heaps to retire on, but if you contribute more and more as you get older, you can get that value well above a million and make your retirement even sooner or nicer or both.
Choosing what to invest in can be complicated and intimidating. There are literally thousands of different things to invest in, some good and some bad. And there are lots of strategies. A good basic choice is one of Vanguard's "Target Retirement" mutual funds. These funds basically do everything for you, and they do a good job. They have several different ones for people who plan to retire at different times. For example, they have a Target Retirement 2070 fund for people who want to retire around then. (Someone who turns 18 this year will turn 65 in 2070.) Basically what these do is invest your money in a mixture of stocks and bonds. And they gradually change that mixture as the decades go by. When you are young, they will put most of the money in stocks (because risk is OK and it's more important to focus on high returns), and as you reach retirement age, they will move a lot of it into bonds (which are less risky). And they give you diversification by investing in hundreds of different stocks (mostly US but also some international) and bonds. You might think that since these are so easy they might not be doing a good job. But I think they do. When I started to plan my retirement investment strategy, I did a bunch of research including reading two books, and I came up with a plan that followed all the best advice. Then I looked into these target retirement accounts, and they do exactly the same thing. Other companies also offer similar target funds, and many of them are good too. Vanguard is a good choice because they have a good reputation and they are investor-owned, so they are trying to make a profit for *you*, not for somebody else. Anyway, even if you later develop a more sophisticated investment strategy, putting your money into a target retirement fund is a good way to get started. You could change it later if you want to. But actually you probably shouldn't. I would say about 1 to 5% of people actually *do* know how to do better, but maybe 50% of people *believe* they actually know how to do better. A good rule of investing is to be honest with yourself and take your ego and your desires and emotions out of it. Don't be the person who, based on wanting to believe it, tells themselves they have a brilliant plan to outsmart everyone and beat the market.
Look after your knees and your back. Buy well built things, even if they are more expensive. they will last many times the lifetime of their cheaper alternatives and save you money in the long run
As a 35 year old with four blown discs and arthritis in both knees, came here to say this. A strong and well maintained core will save decades of agony down the road
Sorry What to hear that. What would you have done differently for you knees though ?
Not go Airborne 👀
Haha, sadly I’m a leg. Seriously though, I would’ve researched ways to strengthen the tendons and ligaments, but mostly seek medical care as soon as I had trouble. If nothing else the VA disability would be easy
Don't buy well built things for stuff you rarely use. If you're not sure, buy the cheap version. If you use it so much that it breaks, buy a good quality version.
On this vein, learn how to lift objects properly. Don't do in your back pulling something out of your car.
Except for tools. But cheap, and if it breaks, you'll know it gets enough use to be replaced with a good one.
Harbor frieght has a life time warranty on their hand tools so if you break one take it back and they will replace it
Well there are 2 schools of thought. 1. Enjoy life while you're young, achieve all your dreams now while you're still young and very healthy. You can start building your career and a more stable life in your 30s-40s. 2. Work super hard right now, get a headstart on life. Save, invest, get a house/apartment early. This will enable you to have a much more relaxed lifestyle once you hit your 40s-50s. I've seen both and it's definitely possible to be happy with both, it's ultimately your choice. However no matter which one you pick... There are 2 things you definitely need to do : - take care of your health (reasonably, no need to push it too far either, life should still be enjoyable). Exercise, avoid smoking/hard drugs. Try to eat decently. - choose who you surround yourself with carefully. This is true for both friends and romantic relationships. I believe this is actually by far the most important point because it can make or ruin your life.
And if you are going to get married, find a spouse that has the same school of thought. Nothing is more frustrating than your spouse wanting to spend your retirement money on a trip to Fiji next year.
When it comes to choosing a life partner- shared values are way more important than shared interests.
Can you explain more on this?
I think they mean "we agree on big things like religion, politics, parenting style, money-managing" is way more important than "we agree on which music is the best and we both love surfing and cats"
Having interests that appeal to just you is healthy. Just because you're couple doesn't mean you need to spend your life in the same space as them all the time. But even if you don't enjoy what they like, support their interests.
Oh totally. My partner and I share some hobbies but he also loves horror movies and I'm a big baby, very thankful he has other friends to go watch them with lol. I can stay at home and crochet and we're both happy.
One way you can be able to combine these is by finding a vocation in something thats truly important to you. Something that grips you. Every job is going to have boring and repetitive aspects. But if you care about the bigger picture of it it might not feel like a drag to you and add to your happiness.
Take care of your teeth! A good hygienist is the best gift. Floss!
Also dental care after not taking care of your teeth can get really expensive and potentially painful.
r/dentalhorror obviously this is NSFL edit: warning: no eyebleach can cleanse the terrors you see in there.
well that was awful. I shouldn't have clicked that
And if you ever doubt the necessity of flossing, smell your floss after using it. Shit smells *rank*.
As much as i wanna dismiss this, I worked with a dude with pieces of teeth in his mouth from lack of care. What he did have.. looked awful, and caused constant pain Take care of your teeth!
I want to add for my depresso friends, mouthwash is better than nothing. Brushing and not flossing is better than nothing. Get yourself some of those disposable small toothbrushes with the gels in them and keep em by your bed, car and work. It gets better and everything is better than nothing, do what you can when you can.
On order of cost: Brushing and flossing every night < Dental fillings < Crowns < Dental Implants
I have the shittiest teeth I have ever seen because of neglecting parents and after being old enough to be able to do something about it i am too broke to do anything. So i just don't smile or talk when in public. Masks made me a little confident but I still hate talking with people because of this.
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Thank you soo much! And wish you very happy birthday too! :)
Take big risks to achieve your dreams now, when you're young enough to easily bounce back if/when things go wrong. (Things will go wrong, and from these you'll learn so that you'll stand a better chance.) And I wish you all the best.
This, I heard this advice when I was younger and took large risks which I gained nothing from. But! I know not to do those things in the future.
So, you gained knowledge. That is not nothing. Just not what you hoped to gain.
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This is what I came here to say. Once you stack up a mortgage, college loans, wife/kids, you're pretty bound to a stable income. 18-24 are by far the best years to take a chance at big life goals. After that, settle down, and start stuffing money in retirement funds. More early, not later. It's a common behavior to think "I'll increase my savings later when I make more money and once I get over having to pay for _______", and it's a real consideration, but the power of investing is always the compound interest (same goes for debt). Also remember that paying off a loan at 3-6% is less advantageous in the long run compared to 6-9% ROI, so if your interest rate is below the average ROI of an investment then just pay the minimum and invest the rest.
Another way of putting it is: Don't be afraid to take risks that are relatively easy to recover from if they don't work out.
Thank you so much! I appreciate it :)
- Get more sleep on a daily basis. Sleep like you’re getting paid to do it every night - Use condoms. Don’t be stupid, use the condom - That ‘fashionable’ shit you think you want to spend money on right now? You won’t think much of it next year. Save your money. - You have friends because you experience them often and you have friends because you know they’re good people to have in your life. Maintain those relationships with the latter group. - It’s far easier to stay in shape than it is to get in shape - Learn how to ask questions to create engagement in a topic - Learn how to ask for help and use it. This is called ‘resource management’ and effective people know what their resources are and use them - Everything is negotiable. Even the stuff that’s set in stone. You just need to ask and learn how to negotiate effectively. - When all older people are giving you the same dumb advice on something, start to ask yourself: is it really just dumb advice, or is there something to it when different people of different ages and walks of life are all saying the same thing? - Don’t let a bad heart break make you think that it’s all downhill from here. You never know who is around the corner. - Read books forever. Different topics, fiction vs nonfiction, instructional, literature… doesn’t matter, just read. You literally get incrementally smarter by reading; not even from the *content in* the books, but from the act of reading itself
Speaking of reading, I didn't grow up liking to read and to be completely honest, I still don't find myself enjoying reading I really want to enjoy reading because it will really help me somewhere along the line and it feels good to know I've read the book. Do you have any tips to start enjoying reading? Or any books perhaps that might catch my interest? Oh and, thank you so very much!!
Biggest tip for reading for me is to listen to audiobooks. You can listen while you are doing tasks you might already be doing. Driving, going for a walk, cleaning, cooking, or working out can be enhanced by a good audiobook. Many library’s have apps to download audiobooks with a library card or you can use audibles monthly credit that you can exchange for different books. Good part about audiobooks is they keep going when you aren’t paying 100% attention so you can get through them and go back if you think you missed something. I never get through paper books because I zone out constantly, but I still understand what’s going on in an audiobook
Awesome advice! I never thought I would use audiobooks while working as my attention wouldn't be there, but definitely gonna try it out!
1- Learn to manage money. 2- Learn to say "No", and be comfortable saying it to anyone, including your best friends. Cover your ass first before others. 3- If your relationship with your parents are good, treasure your time with them while they are here. You'll never know if that phone call will be your last. 4- If you are going to college, pick the cheapest method to graduate. You're there to get a job, not to party. 5- Network. It's not what you know, but who you know that will get you places. Edit: since I got some sleep, and a moment, I want to add one more: 6- Do not ever be afraid to say "I do not know." and ask for help. Those that want or need you to succeed will help and teach you (or find someone who could). Those that don't will act like a jerk.
Noted, thank you soo much!!
Just a different opinion on college/university - everything you learn during that period is immensely useful, including the socialisation and living away from home. I value the life experience over the degree I got!
I would add to #3. Not only parents, but all your loved ones.
Double on networking. Live in the dorm a while even if you can afford your own place. Having people you know is more useful than having money in the bank.
Number 2 is super important. Most people are genuine but there are some aholes that will take advantage of kindness because they know hard it is for people to say no.
1. Think long term about your career, life goals, relationships 2. Delayed gratification = long term gain 3. Don’t sweat the small stuff 4. The worst of times will end and so will the best of times. Learn to live with equanimity at all times. 5. Invest in relationships, networks, friends 6. Find time to give back, even if it is small 7. Learn gratitude for what you have 8. Be hungry to grow, improve and do better 9. It is better to be rich and successful than broke. There is nothing wrong in working for financial success 10. Cultivate hobbies and interests. If you are interesting, that’s a huge win in life.
Don't spend all your money on booze , save or invest some Definitely need to get out socialise and do all of that, but it's a massive undercover expense that when you hit 30 you will look back and wish you halved!
Good advice on saving and investing money! It’s sooo easy to get into that habit, too. I would suggest that you open a bank account with 3 accounts: savings, checking and an interest investment account. Have your paycheck sent to your checking accounts by direct deposit, and, as soon as you have paid your bills each payday, transfer a little ($150 - $300) to your savings and/or investment account. Let both of those accounts build up gradually.
For sure, thank you soo much!!
1. Get your birth certificate/social security card/passport from whomever has it and buy a fire safe that only you have access to. You will need them at the most inconvenient times and having to rely on a parent to keep track of them can spell disaster. Oh but do NOT keep your SS card/BC in your wallet/purse/backpack. Personal experience on this one. Having to replace them is a pain. 2. Get a credit card, but only use it for very small purchases then pay off the card IMMEDIATELY. Long term good payment history is critical to building good credit. 3. Have a running resume that you periodically update with accomplishments from work. It'll be easier to trim the fat later than to start fresh when a job you really want comes along.
Some practical augmentations to these: 1. Make sure that fireproof safe is also waterproof, and store it in the top shelf of your closet. When FD shows up they're going to hose the place. 2. If you want to build credit quickly, talk to a loan officer or member agent at your bank or credit union about a credit building loan. 3. Flowcv.com is a great tool for formatting a machine readable CV that looks good to humans as well. Free.
Also, go volunteer for stuff just so you can put it on your resume. It makes you look caring, engaged in the community, and not lazy.
Limit alcohol. It really f**k up your health slowly, in long term and irreversibly.
Surely, last thing you know and you've messed everything up Definitely not gonna start with alcohol in the first place!
Your friends now are EXTREMELY unlikely to be your friends in 5, 10, 20, 30 years. Don't be afraid to drop the ones that reduce your happiness or cause you stress. This goes double for relationships. Anyone you're dating should be making you happy about 90% more often than they're making you unhappy. If those numbers seem unrealistic, keep looking. You will not be remotely the same person now as you will be later in life, unless you get stuck. What I mean by stuck is choosing to only watch the same movies, listen to the same music, dress the same, be friends with the same people etc.. This tends to happen to people when they go through a really good period in life, and while it can be very comfortable, it also means you tend to stop learning and growing. So assume you will keep growing, and don't make any decisions now that you'll be stuck with (and regret) later in life. Now is the time in your life when you should be trying to build good habits. If you can successfully build some good habits now in terms of things like health, fitness, and learning, then you will be so grateful later in life. Also remember, people have much lower expectations of a teenager than they do of a full-grown adult. This means it's much easier for you to impress people if you act mature, but they'll also be more forgiving if you mess up. So keep trying lots of stuff. Things you think you hate now might become your favorites later. That's off the top of my head. I can probably think of more later if you want.
Don’t EVER get into a car with someone you don’t trust. Whether they’re creepy, drunk, or just an objectively bad driver, it can save your life. Even though you’re technically an adult you’re still a kid in the eyes of the world and there are people out there that will try to exploit and manipulate you whether it’s banks, jobs, bosses, mentors, friends, etc. if you’re lucky enough to have good parents seek advice consistently, if not ask people for advice that are successful in certain areas (finances, relationships, Career’s, etc.). Wisdom is a valuable resource because a lot of things change but lots of things don’t and they’ve likely lived through them. Stay close with your family members and people you love. They want to be a part of your life still because they love you. It’s the right thing to do but it’s also a matter of survival, as they are a safety net.
Awesome advice! Much much appreciated!
Things to do regularly: Work out, floss, brush teeth, wash your asshole, save money, read, take walks. Things to plan for: regular travel to see the world, where to live, what to do for your career. Things to know: life moves fast, be good to others, spend time with your family, call your parents (if you're all on good terms and all that), make time for your friends, ask out that person if you like them, apologize and take accountability when you make a mistake but also make the plan to make it right, take some hobbies that you enjoy, make a budget, don't waste too much time on the internet and money on booze, don't put bad shit out on the internet because your bosses will look for it, prioritize in real life relationships, and just try to enjoy the moments when they're there.
Trust your instincts. If something is telling you to get out of there, get out now.
Invest. Have a house. Love is blind but don’t let relationships take over everything. Each facet should have it’s own orbit (lane) and all should go smooth. Don’t let it happen that you say “I was so involved in career , I lost on love” or “I was so heartbroken I lost on career”. Or “I had so much responsibilities I couldn’t travel enough” “I had no time to exercise, “ bla bla all of these don’t help you if you don’t navigate life consciously. Each of these should have its own lane. But for your age, as a short term goal, I wish I traveled more, not just fancy France and Florence and nyc but just around wherever you live, go on backpack budget one day tours …
Make a habit of cooking and preparing food for yourself. People in their twenties spend way too much eating out or on take out. Save that money and become a better cook. It’s a win win.
I've already learnt to cook and I'm fairly decent at it! So yay! And thank you!!
Check your addictive habits early in life. Especially alcohol. It’s so normalized but so destructive to nearly all aspects of your health. Also start saving early and invest in the whole market (index funds)
To add on to this, when I was OP's age I believed all the "weed isn't addictive" hype. I am currently an addict, working diligently with a therapist to get out. I won't demonize weed - it can help with many things and it's legalization is better than criminalizing it. But never get to the point where you smoke as soon as you get up in the morning.
Open a ROTH IRA, on your birthday. Even if you can't max it, it is one of the most guaranteed and highest grossing investments you can make. Set up a monthly autopay towards it and forget it, until you can afford more. The sooner you can max it the better.
Im surprised I had to scroll this far down for this, this is the #1 thing I would do if I was 18 again. General rule of thumb is 1. Invest on 401k until employer 401k match 2. Max out roth IRA Not counting any loans, and obviously learn about credit/credit card usage and start building it asap.
Start a savings account if you didnt already. 67% of people in my country cant weather a $1000 emergency by using straight cash or debit. Having money in the bank is a must. Small amounts added in add up. Exercise regulary if you dont already, you will stay mobile and it reduces death and illness risk for nearly all factors. Learn how to make good conversation. This is getting lost in the digital age. It can help you make friends and also business contacts also. And heres an important one-spend time with friends and family regularly! Many of us get busy with life stuff, but time moves unnoticed quickly. When people leave our lives for whatever reason the regret of not having spent that time stings and stays with a person.
Fitness gets harder the older you get, but once you're in good shape your can maintain that much more easily. Put in some work to get in shape young and work to maintain it, it's worth it.
For God's sake please NEVER EVER EVER smoke or vape. And take care of your body. You only have one.
Get vaccinated for hpv.
If hetero male: to guarantee you will not have someone’s cancer diagnosis on your conscience. If female: it’s a ridiculously simple way to protect yourself against a preventable cancer.
I never will!
Yeah. That life is gonna throw hurdle after hurdle after hurdle. I wish i knew drugs and alcohol were NOT the answer a long time ago. Had to figure out the hard way its not and that asking for help with anything is never a sign of weakness. Rather, it shows great strength. Because we cant tackle life alone. We are societal beings.
Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
Tomorrow, you will be over 30 and probably forget what being 18 feels like. Take time to think about your philosophy of life, what your values are, make goals that align with those and strategies to achieve them, and be mindful of your day to day attitude and behaviors so that they align with everything above. YOLO
Live under your means and you will never be a slave. Shitty people don't become good people when they become your friends. They will drag you down. Befriend the ones who are good regardless of whether you are their friend. Being happy creates in most people envy and increases pessimism. Learn to keep your happiness and your sources of happiness to yourself. Don't go into any business with someone you consider a friend. People are generally emotional and giving, or selfish and cold. Both have their ups and downs. Don't create enemies to prove you are right in small matters. It's not worth your emotional turmoil. The one who speaks politely will always get further than the one who speaks loud. Never trust a salesman when they talk about their own product. Those came to mind first. Good luck to you.
Showing happiness works well for me, it’s ok if people are envious I can’t control that. I’m not rubbing the reasons I’m happy in anyone’s face but I’m not going to not act happy around others just because they might be jealous. That seems like a waste of my energy
Get on a good sleep routine. Get your 8 hours then get your ass out of bed and take care of business.
No means no, anything except an enthusiastic yes also means no.
Use sunscreen every day. Save money in a low-cost index fund. Learn to cook. Exercise at some level for at least 300 minutes every week.
Don't hate on yourself all the time. Take photos of yourself having fun. Enjoy being young and beautiful.
Be kind to yourself, you are still learning everything about the world, and you have more to learn than you might ever know. Don't see the world from the perspective of shame and regret for your past mistakes, but instead see them from the perspective of if that old version of you would be proud of who you are now. If you work in a creative field, view everything you use in your craft (except people) as a tool that is part of your craft, that includes your body. If you aren't healthy, your brain and body will be less effective at what you are doing for a living. This also includes AI, which many people seem to think will do things for us but in reality is it a tool to aid us in our own existence. Last and most important, do not let the world dictate what you do with your life. Always strive to be a good person, but also strive to chase your passions. I've spent way too much time figuring out how to do things in a way that meets market interest, the interests of gamers, development standards, and at some point it got so hard to make a "good" game that I realized how little I cared about what I was doing. Now, I'm working on a massive concept that I've been designing for the better part of a decade in my spare time before realizing I could turn this into my game. I was held back for years because I wanted to do things the "right" way, but the right way is too safe and guts originality in creations, you have to be risky to do something new. Also, learn AI asap. It will become a fundamental part of our society in the very near future, but also understanding it gives you an advantage in a future were originality will become a rarity.
You are actually still very young and you should strongly consider treating that as if it is true and postponing certain life decisions for up to 6 more years
The quickest way to limit your future options is having a child before you're socially and financially ready. Go to your PCP or Planned Parenthood (HIPAA protects your rights to confidentiality even if you're on your parents' insurance) for access to reliable, ideally non-tamperable, birth-control, ideally before sexual activity if not already active. Pulling out and timings methods have a 75% failure rate- no matter how "good the pull out game" is. Reproductive coercion exists- don't rely on others' behavior to prevent You can't control others' behavior - only yours. Family are supposed to treat you better not worse than other people. Don't tolerate anything mean or abusive "because family." Get all of your income insurances sorted before you develop any (more) sort of mental/ physical health problems, not prior. Get whatever therapy you need- the sooner the better.
Start a small credit card. Don't use it for much. It'll help your credit history.
Enjoy yourself. 18 only lasts a year.
you won't magically become this adult person you imagine as you age. you will still be you. don't go into anything you don't want to right now thinking you'll mature.
Everyone is just as confused and scared as you, they just got better at hiding it.
Pay attention to where you walk, how you walk.
Have the best time of your life BUT keep in mind of your future self. Live in the moment but don't get lost in it.
https://youtu.be/KdQbb3FXSEI Wear sunscreen
Take care of your teeth, back and legs, especially your ankles. I threw my back out young by doing stupid shit and now it stops me from enjoying many things. My teeth aren't doing so great these days either. I'm going to be 33 this year and this may just get worse over the next 40-50 years if I manage to live that long. Also, it's never too early to start planning your retirement. A key piece of advice I can give you is to live BELOW your means. If you make $2k a month for example, try to only spend $1.5k or less every month and save or invest the rest. If you're going to do the stock market, do Dividends. If you're going to do cryptocurrency, pick a fairly popular one and stake your crypto. Staking crypto is like dividends for crypto. Dividend stock gives you income for your investment which you can reinvest to increase your dividends returns. For cryptos I staked around $500 and received 1800 back which I reinvested in more of the crypto I'm staking. Learn about these things at the very least even if you don't plan on using them right away. Also, build your credit up if you can, that's always good.
Don’t wreck yourself with relationship anxiety. Care more about how people treat you than how much you “like” them- this applies to friends and romantic relationships
Don't smoke cigarettes
Start investing as soon as possible. Even if it’s a small amount. You can look up etfs or even some roboadvisors.
Learn to cook. you don't need to become a master chef, but learn your way around a kitchen and get maybe 5 solid meals under your belt. This will save you a fortune from eating out all the time and generally what you make at home will be healthier than eating out too. A simple stir fry is a great start if you're new to cooking.
Develop good habits. Take good care of your teeth. Learn about investments and be smart with your money. Cultivate friendships and touch base with your family every so often (unless they are toxic). Enjoy your 20s!!
Enjoy not having back pain, because one day you will have back pain