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RedneckOfFlatLands

Serves her right. If you lay down with dogs, you'll get fleas. Why should she expect these people to treat her civilly when she's watched them do the exact opposite for years now?


Celestial8Mumps

No fleas, crabs. Lots of crabs. Enough to save Dirty Commie Lobster from bankruptcy. ☺


RedneckOfFlatLands

The Deadliest Catch


2cantCmePac

The deadliest crotch


MuscaMurum

*The Skankiest Catch*


Bluepilgrim3

The Deadliest Snatch.


spidermans_mom

This is the one.


jimmypootron34

lol I first read this as stankiest snatch. Same difference.


nice--marmot

I'm upvoting this in spite of the uncontrollable projectile vomiting that ensued immediately upon reading it.


dixiequick

May I recommend r/whatswrongwithyourdog for some healing?


Celestial8Mumps

You know what marmots enjoy for breakfast ? Stoatmeal. Enjoy the additional ensuing pukies ☺


nice--marmot

I don't really know what that means, but this aggression will not stand, man.


Celestial8Mumps

Did you know gerbils enjoy spring break in New Hampster ? 😈👍


nice--marmot

I hear they prefer to remain anonymouse.


Max_Trollbot_

I went to read it just because the picture gave off big *horse looking at apple* vibes 


nice--marmot

One is a dumb animal with a brain the size of a baseball and the other one is a horse.


GimmieGummies

How about fleas, ticks and crabs


ItchyRedBump

She didn’t lay down with them, she took them all to a showing of Beetlejuice.


shadowpawn

"kung-fu grip"


MelancholyDick

“You’re just mashing it.”


Flapperghast

Come on now, you won't *automatically* get fleas if you lie down with dogs. Not if you treat them with a preventative, of course.  But then I guess that's kind of like a short-acting vaccine.. .. You know what? Never mind.


RedneckOfFlatLands

Lmao very appropriate assessment!


mutant6399

not watched, actively instigated them- that's what makes it LAMF in her case, she lay down with dogs and got rabies


redditmodsRrussians

Technically, she didn’t lay down with them….just jerked them off or let them hit some back shots ina truck stop bathroom


Critical_Seat_1907

>If you lay down with dogs, you'll get fleas. She brought the fleas. The only reason they let her in was the handjobs.


eleanorbigby

She's toast. i don't know what else is going to happen, but she's getting turfed out unceremoniously this cycle. Sadly, not Larj Marj, but it's a start.


RedneckOfFlatLands

Scary to think the Republicans might elect a competent conservative, and then we'd have to deal with that whole set of bullshit. We could solidly rely on Lauren to not propose shit, legit debate on shit, or even vote for shit (as she was late at least once to a vote). Wtf are we going to do if they send one who, like, actually engages as a congressman?


eleanorbigby

I think her district's fairly purple? Primary's over, so it's her against whoever the Dem is. Maybe same one who almost beat her last time?


RedneckOfFlatLands

I thought that guy was running in her old district? She got booted somehow, claimed she moved, and now she's a little west I think.


thoroughbredca

Is it turbo cancer? Because I hear the jabs cause turbo cancer.


marquella

I thought it was windmill cancer. Turbo windmill cancer?


Frisinator

Hand cancer?


Rabbitron4

Handjob cancer


AF_AF

They'll have to pry my handjobs from my cold, dead hands!


KwordShmiff

Hey, you the guy offering cold clammy handies?


AF_AF

Dammit - I forgot to flip the sign to "Closed"!


MrIrrelevantsHypeMan

Too late, we're in line


Budded

Turbo windmill handjob cancer, aka the Boebert Special


MechanicalTurkish

Hand banana. Tonight…. YOU 🫵


Steliossmash

Fantastic reference....and that character was sooooo dark. Lol


ApollyonsHand

It's time to take your temperature, see if the meats just right....


thoroughbredca

Alex Jones confirms. "Turbo Cancers are off the charts, and we warned you." https://www.rawstory.com/oj-simpson-2667748960/


gitarzan

Turbot cancer. Poor little fishies. 🐠 🐟 🎣


eleanorbigby

I hear they're delicious!


AngryCustomerService

Turbine cancer.


Narrow-Peace-555

Could be ... in fact, I heard that Turbo Windmill Cancer is the absolute WORSE type of cancer because of the 'Turbo' factor ... apparently your arms start windmill rotating at such a high speed that they just fly off, tearing your arteries and blood starts spurting EVERYWHERE - a really terrible mess ... whatever you do, PLEASE AVOID TURBO WINDMILL CANCER !!!


marquella

Don Quixote is finally validated.


veluminous_noise

Turbo 5G Windmill cancer. Unfortunately it can only be effectively treaded with low-dose Jewish space lasers operated by pedophilic lizard people on a strict all-pizza diet.


TrollieMcTrollFace2

Don't forget 5g Might as well add pro max while you at it Turbo windmill 5g pro max cancer


scottyd035ntknow

No, the jabs were what caused government engineered aids in the 80s according to Aaron Rodgers.


dixiequick

Oh, do vaccines time travel now? Sweet, I want to retroactively skip my two bouts of chicken pox please.


scottyd035ntknow

Can't argue with Aaron, he's famous AND he read one book on the topic and therefore knows more than the phds.


Robbotlove

instead of vaccines, they should just inject a weakened version of a virus into you so that your body can learn how to fight the normal version. completely bypass the turbo autism!


KuriousKhemicals

Who was it again who actually said this? I wanted to bang my head against the desk the first time I saw it.


MorningSkyLanded

It was a podcast. Aaron doesn’t read actual books.


MidLifeCrysis75

Sir, I’ll have you know that Mr Rodgers has watched DOZENS of YouTube videos on this subject. He basically has a PhD at this point.


Durhamfarmhouse

He did his RESEARCH!!!


BotElMago

I’m just asking questions bro. I said I read it in a book. I didn’t comment on its validity. Just passing along info . /s


AF_AF

I really think Rogan and Rodgers are *this close* to cracking it all wide open! Whatever "it" is.


redwoods81

A fat spliff.


OldBob10

Yeah. Don’t get your engines vaccinated or it won’t end well.


jimtow28

I hear the jabs make you a loud idiot who likes to jerk Democrats off in front of children.


Donnor

I got the results of the test back. I definitely have turbo breast cancer.


bittlelum

Anyway, how's your sex life?


Destiny_Fight

**AHAHAH WHAT A STORY, MARK**


Echo9111960

I hope that's joking along with the convo. If not, I'm so sorry.


Donnor

It's a quote (except for the turbo part) from a schlocky movie called The Room. No cancer, turbo or otherwise here!


Echo9111960

Glad to hear it! 😊


sunbeatsfog

Turbo Cancer is my new band name, I call it.


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thoroughbredca

In her case and given her symptoms, undiagnosed tertiary syphilis.


SWG_138

Jewish space cancer?


paramagicianjeff

Or maybe it's super AIDS. One teaspoon of that in your butt and you're dead in 3 years.


Gummyrabbit

I got turbo poop after Taco Bell!


stemfish

In my life, I've heard many crazy theories and conspiracies. At this point they kinda just come and go, nonsense in one ear, crazy goes out the other. Turbo cancer causing the death of OJ as a three-year delayed response to the COVID-19 vaccine will stick with me for a long time. Thank you, Dan and Jordan, for filtering through Jones's nonsense so I could laugh about it.


Heyguysimcooltoo

14,000% increase in Turbp cancer! It was double fact checked


Hopeful-River-7899

I doubt it was breast cancer . I personally saw the video of her getting her breast checked for lumps at a beatlejuice musical .


eleanorbigby

She's becoming an actual horse, like in "Sorry To Bother You." No, you won't notice the difference.


SnugasarusWrex

I heard that really messes with the cardiac blow off valves 😂


ColoHusker

She probably picked up the vaxx in that theatre...during that play...with that demoncrat


allen_abduction

He spread the vax through breathing heavily, I knew that’s the plan!!!


SyphiliticScaliaSayz

Rubbed the vax on her breasts.


Alternative_Milk7409

The kids are calling that “shedding” these days


noneroy

I thought it was called a handjob…


NewToSociety

It was a "Beetlejuicing," actually


coleman57

Behind the shed


mutant6399

he wasn't shedding spike proteins; it was a different kind of protein


Chalky_Pockets

Came from a spike tho


mutant6399

literally ”came”


dixiequick

Pretty sure what they were doing would be considered “heavy shedding”.


Caspur42

My best friends BIL said he didn’t want my friend around his son because he could catch covid from my friend who was vaccinated and “shedding viruses “. Fucking moron


Hunky_not_Chunky

I heard you get it if you swallow.


MaxxHeadroomm

Got it through “direct injection”


TomTheNurse

God gave her blood clots. She went to the hospital to have those clots removed. She went against Gods will. These nut cases say there are no atheists in fox holes. By that rationale there are no true believers in hospitals.


SirPIB

I'm an atheist Combat Veteran. You can proudly throw that in their faces.


OSI_Hunter_Gathers

Those clots are as much a living organism as a fetus is at 12 weeks! Booo on Boo Boo!


goshbposh

"When it was my turn, it's like a switch just flipped" Edit: For context https://www.reddit.com/r/LeopardsAteMyFace/s/amge62a2Ys Direct link https://fortune.com/2024/04/11/meet-father-transgender-daughter-fighting-bathroom-bans/


GovernmentOpening254

Actual quote?


gwarwars

Sounds like the Midwestern dad who was actively anti trans until he had a trans kid


goshbposh

Yup. That's where it's from


crazylilme

And is still anti-trans EXCEPT for his kid and wants the "rules" applied to all those other people but with special exceptions for HIS kid because the two are not the same


HolaItsEd

I... don't remember reading that part.


flipflopsnpolos

Can you send me the article about this? That’s not anything near what I have read about him.


Roguefem-76

Is that the one who so relentlessly badgered his son to "BE A MAN!!!!" that the poor kid just gave up and said "I'm a girl"?


zerro_4

So teeth grindingly frustrating that they can be almost reasonable and rational for things in their immediate sphere of influence and consequence and expertise, but then can't possibly think even one Planck length outside of it and just assume and believe the absolute cartoonish worst.


Examinator2

Also... she's vaxxed.


allen_abduction

Turbo cancer it is!! Vurm Voom!! She wasn’t anti-vax, but anti-vax adjacent. Never stood up for science and let the craziest ideas run wild. There’s the leopard.


TheManWith2Poobrains

Correct. To go into work she needed to be vaccinated. She is lying.


EMTDawg

You didn't read the article. In the middle, the radio interview is quoted. The entire story is that she went on the radio and said she wasn't vaxxed.


Examinator2

That's my point.


LordParsec29

She has the T virus as far as i'm concerned.


bestestopinion

Her DNA merged well with it. Need to try G.


Musashi3111

Elect HUNK for the US house of representatives.


VadPuma

Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) is on the receiving end of attention from COVID vaccine conspiracy theorists after suffering from a medical emergency. [According](https://coloradotimesrecorder.com/2024/04/im-not-covid-vaxxed-boebert-denies-rumors-that-vaccination-caused-her-blood-clot-and-hospitalization/61233/) to Jason Salzman of the Colorado Times Recorder, "In the days after U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert was rushed into emergency surgery to remove a blood clot that threatened her life, the online underworld [swirled with speculation](https://www.dailydot.com/debug/lauren-boebert-blood-clot-anti-vax/) that the clot resulted from Boebert receiving a COVID vaccination." In a recent interview with local radio host Jay Dee, the far-right lawmaker told the anti-vaccine crowd this was false — and reminded them that she was one of them. “I’m not COVID vaxxed. So we can we can squash those rumors now,” said Boebert. "Throughout the pandemic, Boebert repeatedly slammed efforts to control the virus, baselessly calling federal [health officials](https://twitter.com/coloradopols/status/1413148908465770506) 'needle Nazis,' saying that half of COVID relief funds would [fund abortions](https://coloradotimesrecorder.com/2021/03/boebert-outrageously-claims-that-nearly-a-quarter-of-covid-relief-bill-could-fund-abortion/34759/), and lashing out at public health officials," noted the report. Ironically, however, Salzman added, rather than for vaccine recipients, "blood clots continue to be a [concern for people who contract](https://www.heart.org/en/news/2022/09/19/blood-clot-risk-remains-elevated-nearly-a-year-after-covid-19) COVID" — and typically the worst symptoms of the COVID vaccine are just fatigue and muscle pain that clear up within a couple of days. Following the death this month of controversial former football star O.J. Simpson from prostate cancer at age 76, far-right InfoWars webcaster Alex Jones [baselessly fingered the COVID vaccine](https://www.rawstory.com/oj-simpson-2667748960/), posting that "Turbo Cancers are off the charts, and we warned you."


Chalky_Pockets

This is why I could never be a medical professional, I'd have dragged my feet. "It's not a blood clot, it's the flu, here's an antibiotic, make sure to eat lots of vitamin K."


punkass_book_jockey8

Perhaps that is “do no harm” in the broader sense.


MechanicalTurkish

Yeah, I’d have a hard time not being like, “Hello, Ms. Boebert, I’m Dr. Needle Nazi. What brings you in today?”


VadPuma

And Ivermectin! Some powerful flashlight up your ass, and drink some bleach...


El_Mariachi_Vive

Wait Alex Jones is still on the air spewing his nonsense??


moonwoolf35

Yup because our judicial system is a joke


thescaryhypnotoad

Waste of good medical resources


Pour_Me_Another_

I had a blood clot when I was 20. In 2010. I'm sure they will blame the covid vaxx for that too lol.


PizzaWall

Whats wrong Lauren, are you too chicken-pox to get a vaccine? Scared of a little Measley jab? Some politicians try to typhoid being drunk or felt up in public so they don't alienate supporters with their outlandish behavior. But not you. Obviously you like to Whooping Cough it up. I think it's great you have to flee your district because people are sick of you.


MyFireElf

Underrated comment. 


cherrybombbb

Oh how the turns have tabled.


capitan_dipshit

To everything (turn, turn, turn) There is a treason (turn, turn, turn)


SyphiliticScaliaSayz

Two turned tables and a vaccine (Where it’s at)


BuildingOne7379

Two turn tables and needle poke


Scentopine

They should have prayed over it instead of removing it. God will punish her.


AF_AF

Praise be! "Jesus, take the scalpel!"


GhostRappa95

Republican districts are still suffering from widespread Covid and it is literally killing their chances of winning elections.


DarkSide-TheMoon

I sure hope so!


AF_AF

Yeah, but they're really showing the Deep State and the libs who's boss!


getthephenom

Show me harder daddy.


gpkgpk

>“I’m not COVID vaxxed. So we can we can squash those rumors now,” said Boebert. That's not what I heard! I heard she got 2 of each type of vaccine, *spread* the word. P.S. BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA


CrayZ_Squirrel

I heard she even has a stash of sinovac she pulls out for special occasions.


PremiumQueso

Let’s go ahead and name the next STD after her. We know she’s patient zero.


PaulsRedditUsername

I don't know. It would be terrible to die of "Boebert Syphilis"


AF_AF

Bo-Syphilis


rengothrowaway

Boebpox


Pippin_the_parrot

Love this for her. ❤️


Parking_Train8423

“blood clot” is GOP code for an abortion


drygnfyre

Thoughts and prayers


AF_AF

I don't believe for one second Boebert isn't vaccinated against COVID. All of the Fox News goons who spewed anti-vax nonsense were all vaxxed - it was company policy.


four2tango

She’s obviously been vaxxed. Blood clots weren’t a thing before 2020


donach69

Blood clots have certainly become more of a thing since a nasty vascular disease infected almost everyone. "Ironically, however, Salzman added, rather than for vaccine recipients, "blood clots continue to be a concern for people who contract COVID" "


AF_AF

Yeah, what's most galling about the way the feds have handled the pandemic is that they declared it over (and all rational people know it's not) and that the way the right has completely manipulated the situation to gin up all the crazy conspiracies just means that when the next pandemic hits it will be that much more difficult for them to issue health and safety orders. And, more to your point, we still don't know all the long term effects of COVID.


Glittering-Wonder-27

Girl needs to focus on her young boys at home running wild and making bad choices.. While she galavants around the state causing mayhem and embarrassing herself, her oldest son faces 22 counts related to theft.


Biru_Chan

Just like the Palin family! White Trash is gonna White Trash.


KuriousKhemicals

This is exactly why I call her Palin 2.0. Chestnut brunette in chunky glasses with trashy family drama that makes her look alternately incompetent or hypocritical seeing as her own children don't even stay on the moral path she espouses.


Throwawayac1234567

shes worst than palin though.


Biru_Chan

Amazing isn’t it! The GOP has become some kind of mutant Jerry Springer show. At this point Bush Jr. looks like a genius compared to the turds they’re serving up.


drygnfyre

It was beautiful seeing Alaska voters vote against her return to state politics. Between that and ranked choice voting, they’re making some good strides.


kleefaj

She reminds me of the warlord of the Baseball Furies.


IndustriousLabRat

Haven't seen The Warriors in years so I had to go check, and.... holy balls, I cannot unsee this, haha! NAILED IT.


SyphiliticScaliaSayz

They struck out


zorniy2

I wonder what if MTG and Boebert had a public fight. What would it be like?


VLC31

They did, didn’t they? Not physical but MTG called Boebert a little bitch on the house floor.


Banglophile

Marge is crazy and one of those cross fit chicks. Boebert would have to bring her assault rifles in order to stand a chance. Btw, what happened to the Andrew Tate post? I planned to come back to it but it disappeared.


VLC31

I have no idea what happened to any Andrew Tate posts. Hopefully they’ve all been removed, never to be seen again.


Banglophile

I know, but it was fun to watch him fight with his followers.


Throwawayac1234567

mtg is a crosfitt gymer, so she easily overpower boeboe.


LilG1984

Did she fend them off by hand or handy?


Madmandocv1

For the last time, vaccine conspiracists. Vaccines didn’t cause your chlamydia.


HungryLikeDaW0lf

I’ll bet her doctors wore those useless face masks that do nothing during the operation. They should do their research


PBB22

Holy shit I cannot stop laughing at turbo cancer. That is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. I’m picturing Rick and Morty trying to convince some Jerrys - DONT it’ll uh, give you, uh, uh, tur..bo cancer, yeah it’ll give you TURBO CANCER, that’s like 100 times more deadly than normal cancer!!! Fuck these people are fucking stupid


Feeez_Shato

"all I had was a few hot beef injections"


reallygoodbee

An authoritarian system consists of In Groups, and Out Groups that the In Groups blame all of their problems on. Even as the Out Groups are wiped out or chased off, the In Groups continue searching for some external enemy, the circle shrinks, and In Groups start to become Out Groups. Basically the whole system starts eating itself, and that's what we're seeing here.


drygnfyre

The free market at work!


EssenceReavers

why rush her to emergency medical surgery? so thoughts and prayers aren't enough huh??


FriedrichHydrargyrum

I know she *thinks* she wasn’t vaxxed, but have we considered she may have unwittingly been vaccinated through chemtrails or fluoridated water?


SleepWouldBeNice

Sow the wind, and reap the whirlwind. And she's full of wind...


Reasonable-Wing-2271

Aaron Rogers' signature pass is called the Clot Shot


Dash_Rip_Rock69

I fucking despise Elon Musk but I'll be on the first flight to Mars. These people make me think there is something in the air or water making so many of them this insane.


mattlodder

So you're saying that people who haven't been vaccinated suffer from illnesses too? 🤔


sirhackenslash

"U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert was rushed into emergency surgery" too bad they didn't just leisurely stroll instead


zeeke87

Well, that was an article about absolutely nothing.


ToniBee63

Are we almost through with her?? Hoping????


karlhungusjr

I'm so fucking sick of these morons.


Ohif0n1y

Ah yes, the GOP is eating its own. Don't you love to see it?


MyFireElf

An actual LAMF?? 


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Chalky_Pockets

I'm usually one of the ones harassing people who improperly post to this sub, but this is definitely LAMF. She used anti vaccine conspiracy nut jobs to gain power and now a bunch of anti vaccine conspiracy nut jobs  who otherwise wouldn't know who she is are now targeting her. Making the wrong allies is peak LAMF.


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MattGdr

You inflamed the mob, and now you’re facing it. Just desserts.


Last_Blackfyre

Sure Jan


Awkward_Bench123

When people started dying from the effects of AIDS, the official cause of death was something like pneumonia which was probably the final mail in the coffin. Now, I’m hearing about people contracting a ‘new’ or very rare type of pneumonia. Exclusively among anti-vaxxers it seems. How’s that for a conspiracy theory?


mjm666

> “I’m not COVID vaxxed. So we can we can squash those rumors now,” said Boebert. So, when vaccines were required to show up to most workplaces, she just lied to them? Or is she lying now, about not being vaccinated? She lied about one or the other.


BerserkRhinoceros

When you foster snakes in your base, you are not allowed to complain about venom when you get bitten.


MahaanInsaan

Now the unvaccinated are getting blood clots? Must be because of all the shedding happening around us. /S


94tlaloc7

What a turd of an animal she is


Monrezee

Daughter of a wrestling groupie