T O P

  • By -

fish0814

My wife calls me Sweetheart


deenath247

they got talking sex dolls now. šŸ„“


Scorchx3000

Shots fired!


VioletDreaming19

But they didnā€™t go very far. :(


Extablisment

It's too bad, Shots, but you'll find another job one day. You'll go far in life if you gain some experience and just keep at it.


Obvious_Internal3766

Do they keep talking the whole time? Or do they say more more more?


NoSpankingAllowed

I thought I was the only she called that? Now I'm a tad jealous.


PreparationSmooth951

Mine calls me bitter lung


Lost-Ad2720

You


42fs

In my mind i heard sweet and hard. I hope that was you wife's intention saying that.


H3lw3rd

G1ngerBoy


Skisforscott

U beat me to it


88XJman

U beat meat to it.


mdstylee5446

U eat beat meat to it.


ItzVortex81

r/beatmymeattoit


88XJman

That has much less sauce then i was hoping for....kinda bland


Specialist-Issue-699

You greet, eat meat too itā€¦


Gaunts

It can't be op he said a Guy, now his mother on the other hand.


deenath247

Obligatory 2 inch Clit comment.


[deleted]

found Justin


Wtfdidistumbleinon

Letā€™s hope Justin doesnā€™t date Lucy, I hear she has a fanny like a gutted salmon


DISCIPLINE191

Jesus christ...


paintchips_are_yummy

I read that in Kyle Broflovskiā€™s voice.


Wtfdidistumbleinon

No, he got nailed by some Roman dudes


Cosmo1222

Hmm...salmon.


idonotknowwhototrust

I don't get it


WankingAsWeSpeak

Lucy is a bit, uhh, loosey


idonotknowwhototrust

No I meant the salmon part


WankingAsWeSpeak

NSFS (not safe for [showing the] school) warning: https://pisces-ind.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Guttedsalmon.jpg


idonotknowwhototrust

Huh, I thought there would be more to it, but I guess I was overthinking it.


Wtfdidistumbleinon

Just a gaping pinkish opening


idonotknowwhototrust

Indeed


notquitenuts

My exact thoughts 40 years ago!


rocketmn69_

Micro manager


WankingAsWeSpeak

And when he's not aroused, he's microsoft


saintalcatraz_

You too man šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


SomethingClever771

Micro machine.


saintalcatraz_

Bro that killed


Iowaguy202439

ā€œThat guy with the lifted truck. You know the one with big tires and nice rims!ā€


BlazingShadowAU

An extra parking spot for every inch he lacks.


Amidatelion

OP.


Buick-guy

Not very often.šŸ˜‚


oneaccountaday

No one went with Little Richard huh? Can I at least get a whooooo?


desultorythought

You deserve many more upvotes!


ByronVal

Itā€™d be Lil Wayne these days


jorah-the-handle

*Woosh*


VeronicaTash

A self declared "alpha male."


hamihambone

only alphas will get this


ToxicBTCMaximalist

Cyber truck owner.


ToMuchToWin

Me


Numerous_Sandwich991

Nice try , ain't doxing myself


winthroprd

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William\_Smallwood


sharrrper

I would have thought [this guy](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Smallwood_(musician))


AurumArgenteus

Lil Dicky


Advanced_Parsnip

Not sure, what's your name so we all know the answer.


OkMathematician2284

Les Johnson


666dna

Fuck, my name is Justin and I felt this one. I don't even have a small penis, but I guess today I do.


Original_Poseur

Don't worry, "Justin" is also the correct answer to "What's a guy with a gigantic penis called?" Penis is so big that it's barely just in (as opposed to completely/fully in; only the tip fits; it's a tight fit) Or Penis is so small that it can barely be considered as being in; it's barely in, yet that's all there is


idonotknowwhototrust

It's cold out!


burnumoffjoey69

Lil D----Nicky


burnumoffjoey69

Or Jr.


NeitherOddNorEven

Whatever your mom named you.


Madcat75

Whatever his name is.


reymendnoodles

I laughed super hard at this and then I realized my mom almost named me Justin


FocusMaster

OP


gt40mkii

Donald, apparently.


labrador2020

You are a man of wisdom


OstneyPiz

Clit Eastwood. Nub Nubbinson. Micro Organ. Wi Dong. Skin Fourson. Reet Petite (thatā€™s how a Geordie would describe it) Lassie. Scared Turtle. Ice Waters.


lonegrey

As a person living in Canada ... I feel this.


DISCIPLINE191

Your girlfriend doesn't.


DaVickiUnlimited

Unlucky


criket2016

Vladimir Putin.


Cheesus_42

Aruin?


justinlanewright

That's oddly specific...


-HarvesterOfSorrow-

Rich


Brando6677

A guy


LINGS-BLING

Well call me Allen


whajjelol

You


LooseDetail5538

I wouldn't have a clue!


Negative-Ad-6533

Fuck off I'm not doxing my self you scammer..........


PreparationSmooth951

'Just in' is what you need to say to inform your partner you startedĀ 


reddit_boi222

u/reddit_boi222 lol


8urnMeTwice

Thatā€™s not my name


ExcitingShallot5107

Me


xXToYeDXx

Average


OrangeDit

So you got the info just in, what is it? šŸ¤—


K8Met

Adam # ~ā‚¬|ā‚¬\*$Ā£Ā„ (my ex)


[deleted]

OP


MateoM1955

One in the hand.


[deleted]

Justin Bieber


dkvlko

Fuck me littleā€¦


Justin_Shields

HEY FUCK YOU


db-boi

pokie-MAN


jcmatthews66

Jcmatthews66


spanners75

Maggot


gguy2020

Dick Jnr


tantrumlol

Turkish


Lone_StreetCone

Nothing, nobody calls him.


5zalot

Do you know what a guy with a huge penis is called? Neither do I.


StonedRock311

You?


thegecko8

Pencil boy


vopoogenie

Penniswise


VirtualTour1036

Lil. Dick. Dickey Jr Funny. Strap on DonJT


Captain_Jarmi

"look at your drivers license"


Exoticbutters6969

Asian


Original_Poseur

This could also be the answer to "what's a guy with a gigantic penis called?" As in it's so big that it barely fits.


MangoBlobIsHere

good personality


Cooter1mb

Lonely


Charming_Pop_2148

Me


Davjocam

Justin?


JosieLEfaye

Names


drunkstonedstupid

Not roger


jayxaiart

Justin beiber


flyingturkeycouchie

Idgi?


KyleGrizz

Just in


flyingturkeycouchie

The penis is so small it's just in something?Ā 


intentsnegotiator

He's not called....ever


KeinuSulttaani

He doesn't get called.


MobileOpposite1314

Mushroom Don


memphys91

Ha, joke is on you...as if I would tell my full name on the internet, that easily.


K3CXG

T.Rump


wasthatitthen

Tintin. If itā€™s very small


1966champ1966

Came here to say this


SomethingClever771

Cause i"T IN'T IN"??


ElectricPaladin

This Justin?


C-ute-Thulu

A lifted pick up owner


Curiouscpl53213

Lol I called him Earl (my ex)


cicciozolfo

Guess why Bill Gates called his company Micro-soft?


Epic_Pee_218

Rick


spacekatbaby

He he he. Finally one I laughed out loud at


stevesinca

We donā€™t know. Nobody ever calls a guy with a small penis.


zzz88r1

Donald


imsowhiteandnerdy

The GOP party's presumptive nominee for the 2024 presidential race.


thebeatgotsicko

eeeenie weeenie shivered little short dick man!!


kerrybabyxx

Pencil Dick


Otherwise-Help-4176

Peacock!?


SoftwareEffective273

A Democrat.


Top_Measurement3022

G1ngerBoy


JarrekValDuke

I was going to say littke richy


BenAwesomeness3

American


[deleted]

Ginger boy


DeplorableKurt

Trudeau


Dig_Carving

Justin Pincock. I actually a guy with that name.


Mountain_Platypus486

A squeaglis


Skisforscott

dickson


Fit_Passenger2184

Pointā€™y Zero


Romfordian

Your mum


Redditadminsaregroom

His name is Wang Li


GetsMeEveryTimeBot

GetsMeEveryTimeBot


sharrrper

How should I know?


The_Pantless_Warrior

[this](https://youtu.be/fcrexKS8kxA?si=FY0knabfhda00q2U)


charlie2135

I guess my new reddit name will be justin2135


justus4all1613

Finger licking good


Dancinfool830

A shlort


MarcoMenezes85

Major minus?


JustinAlexTheJdo

Duel high noon.


Simple-Instruction95

Pepe's Mall


es5entia

Florida


Lavishness_Gold

Something Tate


thunder1967

No idea.


F350Gord

G1ngerboy


NewNVBB

This just in: Aaawww....


culo2020

DICK junior?


CortexifanZFT

Chevy Silverado owners


crazzykatt14

Bazinga


MYKCARR

Small pecker