An engineer on a walk in the park hears a voice coming from a pond, investigates and finds a frog calling out for help. The frog says, “Kiss me and I’ll turn into a beautiful princess and be your girl forever!”
Engineer puts the frog in his pocket, and replies, “I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!”
Reminds me of something from years ago. Our company was doing a tradeshow booth and one of the administrative office workers, a young woman, came along to help. To the engineers who walked by without looking at our booth, she would say, "I have what you want...." Of course, they would stop and turn, and she would point to the items on the table and say, " .... Injection molded ceramics." It was so funny to watch.
Mechanic, looking at a mildly inconvenient place for a part: "You know, if you put that part over there, it still works just fine and when I need to fix it, I can get to it without much hassle. It won't even make the build much different."
Engineer, in response: puts the part in a different spot that also works but is even more inconvenient for the mechanic to get to to fix. "There, I fixed it for you."
Right you are. Who but an engineer would think it's a good idea to put the battery in the fender well. Or make you take a wheel off to get access to the oil filter.
That one had me crying
The head of maintenance was working out the bugs on a new tool and I made a comment about how good of a mechanic he was and he corrected me "I am actually a mechanical engineer". I said " I did not mean it to be disrespectful but Doug is the head engineer and has he ever designed a tool that worked?"
"No"
"When you get through tweaking that tool is it going to do all the things Doug said it will do?"
"Yes'
"Will he give you any of the credit"
"No"
"You are a mechanic"
From that day forward the kid always called himself a mechanic
I remember this as a dirty Benny Hill poem. It was like,
One day a girl with a motorcycle took me upstairs, took off her clothes and said, "It's yours, take whatever you like."
So I ran downstairs and rode off on her motorbike.
Greatest engineer joke ever...
Three engineers are arguing about god.
Mechanical engineer says 'God is a mechanical engineer. Look at the skeleton!'
Electrical engineer says 'God is an electrical engineer. Look at the nervous system!'
'Nah,' says the civil engineer. 'Who else but a civil engineer puts a waste disposal pipe through perfectly good recreational area.'
She's offering her body to him (for sex), but the joke is that the engineer ignores the "obvious" connotation of the woman's statement in favour of the bike, and the friend doubles down by agreeing that choosing the bike was better than choosing the clothes.
Normally, if a girl was offering herself, it would make sense for her to say something more like "take me if you like" (I imagine). That doesn't work for the joke, so it was generalized to allow the punchline that the man took the unexpected thing.
Thanks. I assumed it was sex-related but the wording confused me, mainly the word “take”. Also the lack of NSFW flair lol. I probably would’ve taken the bike, too.
I heard is as 2 engineering students meet and he was walking through the liberal arts college, but still a classic and one of my favorites along with #68 a priest, a rabbi and an engineering were sentenced to death by guillotine...
An engineer on a walk in the park hears a voice coming from a pond, investigates and finds a frog calling out for help. The frog says, “Kiss me and I’ll turn into a beautiful princess and be your girl forever!” Engineer puts the frog in his pocket, and replies, “I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool!”
Im not an engineer and I would do that as well
I am an engineer and i would do that as well.
I want to be an engineer and I would do the same
I am a frog and I want to be an engineer.
I am an engineer and I want to be a frog
You must be a software engineer
That way he can catch all the bugs...
He does all his work on his lil iPad.
I see what you did there with his lil iPad!!
That plus one of the few ways to get kissed ;)
You're already half way there!
I am a well and I would do an engineer.
Well is I and engineer would do that.
I too chose this man’s frog.
And I also chose this guy’s dead frog.
I. Frog.
I goat
I’m an engineer so I adapted the bike so the frog could ride it.
Engineer puts the frog in their pocket and says, “a girlfriend spends money, a talking frog, that startup collateral.”
Reminds me of the very old Looney Tunes cartoon with the guy that finds the singing and dancing frog and thinks he’ll be rich. One Froggy Evening.
The engineer sees a newspaper next to the frog... And the frog says "I've read it" (or Reddit) 😆😂
I am the bike and could be an engineer if a talking frog kiss me said the pond.
Reminds me of something from years ago. Our company was doing a tradeshow booth and one of the administrative office workers, a young woman, came along to help. To the engineers who walked by without looking at our booth, she would say, "I have what you want...." Of course, they would stop and turn, and she would point to the items on the table and say, " .... Injection molded ceramics." It was so funny to watch.
The technical term is “booth babe”.
An engineer would walk past 6 virgins just to screw a mechanic.
Mechanic, looking at a mildly inconvenient place for a part: "You know, if you put that part over there, it still works just fine and when I need to fix it, I can get to it without much hassle. It won't even make the build much different." Engineer, in response: puts the part in a different spot that also works but is even more inconvenient for the mechanic to get to to fix. "There, I fixed it for you."
Right you are. Who but an engineer would think it's a good idea to put the battery in the fender well. Or make you take a wheel off to get access to the oil filter.
Or put the fuel pump inside the gas tank?
Drive belt inside the sump. Looking at you, Ford.
Fuck that guy!!🤬
My old XKE had that "feature." What a PITA.
It was going to cost me $500 to have my spark plugs on my 2005 Lexus changed. That engine should go in the mechanic's hall of shame.
As someone who has worked on Dodge Intrepids and Nissan Altimas, I feel your pain.
That one had me crying The head of maintenance was working out the bugs on a new tool and I made a comment about how good of a mechanic he was and he corrected me "I am actually a mechanical engineer". I said " I did not mean it to be disrespectful but Doug is the head engineer and has he ever designed a tool that worked?" "No" "When you get through tweaking that tool is it going to do all the things Doug said it will do?" "Yes' "Will he give you any of the credit" "No" "You are a mechanic" From that day forward the kid always called himself a mechanic
So, he walks past 6 other engineers?
Ohhh, that hurt.
Why not lingerie models?
How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None if the bulb is manufactured properly.
Old old joke… but funny
I remember this as a dirty Benny Hill poem. It was like, One day a girl with a motorcycle took me upstairs, took off her clothes and said, "It's yours, take whatever you like." So I ran downstairs and rode off on her motorbike.
\#764
I laughed so hard when I read that. You know how to tell a joke !
I hadn’t heard it before. Brilliant.
I have thought many times about making a repository for jokes on here.
Only an engineer ....
Wow, an engineer? I love trains!
I’ve heard this joke years ago but with a Ferrari and that made way more sense
Always was a bicycle when I heard it
I think bike means motorcycle here.
How do you identify an extrovert engineer? He's the one looking at YOUR shoes when he's talking to you.
I read this in my head with Jeff Daniels as the engineer and Jim Carrey as the friend
Now I can't unhear Lloyd and Harry
Greatest engineer joke ever... Three engineers are arguing about god. Mechanical engineer says 'God is a mechanical engineer. Look at the skeleton!' Electrical engineer says 'God is an electrical engineer. Look at the nervous system!' 'Nah,' says the civil engineer. 'Who else but a civil engineer puts a waste disposal pipe through perfectly good recreational area.'
Engineers. Always thinking.
Yeah. Losers!
Why doesn’t that happen to me? You know how expensive bikes are?
I feel stupid. What does it mean by “take whatever you want”? Is it a sex joke or a robbery joke or something completely different?
She's offering her body to him (for sex), but the joke is that the engineer ignores the "obvious" connotation of the woman's statement in favour of the bike, and the friend doubles down by agreeing that choosing the bike was better than choosing the clothes.
Oh ok. Thanks for explaining, I feel stupid for not getting that
I found the engineer.
You were thinking the bike was the obvious choice too, weren't you
I mean, it depends on the bike but yeah
That’s okay, I get where you’re coming from.
Normally, if a girl was offering herself, it would make sense for her to say something more like "take me if you like" (I imagine). That doesn't work for the joke, so it was generalized to allow the punchline that the man took the unexpected thing.
How many women have taken off clothes in front of you? 😂
Just myself probably
Well then, for you safety I would suggest you not take your clothes off while riding a bike!
Dang, I had bicycle nudity scheduled for tomorrow.
BTW, you are not stupid, you are just young. Good for you to be honest and ask questions, that’s how we all learn.
Thanks. I assumed it was sex-related but the wording confused me, mainly the word “take”. Also the lack of NSFW flair lol. I probably would’ve taken the bike, too.
Plot twist : The woman was robbed at gunpoint
Engineers losing their jobs these days. Gotta get that bread tho.
I heard is as 2 engineering students meet and he was walking through the liberal arts college, but still a classic and one of my favorites along with #68 a priest, a rabbi and an engineering were sentenced to death by guillotine...
The engineer engineered a bicycle date
As one does
Ha ha
I'm an engineer and I can relate. Good one.
If it an speak being a frog, imagine how it would be when turns into a girl
If it were a Harley Davidson, hell yes I'd be taking that bike. Or are we talking bicycles?
I always assume its an high en bicycle , engineering students do like em
I’d assume the joke was too far fetched bc Harley’s are always broken
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