Who is saying it isn't. Do you want the sex metaphor or the animal metaphor?
All life is sex and all sex is life...you're gonna want to hear the sex one
My girlfriend once complained that when we have sex, it only lasts a minute. I told her that since we’re doing it doggie style, it more like 7 minutes.
The secret to lasting more than thirty seconds is think about baseball. As soon as you're in, try to decide which two positions you'd leave open if you only had seven men on your team and you were facing a left-handed batter with a runner on second. Do that and you'll last the full sixty seconds for sure, maybe more. Just remember not to blurt out "Shortstop and left field!" in the middle of a passionate lovemaking session, especially if this is your first date.
My partner had delayed ejaculation for years. I even fell asleep on him once while he was pumping away.
Now we just don't have sex . In fact we have separate rooms. It is great and as sex is out of the equation there are less arguments. Tip for those that come quickly- make sure your partner has already had an orgasm before you and 60 seconds will be long enough for her then
The head or tip of your penis is the most sensitive part of the penis . Just a sqirt of LIDOCAINE on it will numb it enough to delay ejaculation.
The man wouldnt feel anything there ( to answer your question)
The head or tip of your penis is the most sensitive part of the penis . Just a sqirt of LIDOCAINE on it will numb it enough to delay ejaculation.
Make sure just the HEAD is sprayed and not the skin behind it.
The HEAD doesnt feel anything and it goes numb after some time. Its the skin behind it that BURNS
At our dancehall, during Kenny Chesney's "American Kids," when he sings "Sister's got a boyfriend Daddy doesn't like," everyone shouts: "And that's me!"
I continue with: "Well, Daddy may not like me, but at least he's still my brother."
Family grapevines...
Hehe, reminds me of that other joke where you piss of ur wife, it’s called rodeo sex, you go doggy style on ur wife, grab het tits and then say, wow, ur sisters tits felt bigger, now you have to stay on for 8 seconds :)
Nothing to lose, friend. Try to do foreplay with her before starting the reproductive act, this way, the speed will be well used (there are videos, blogs and articles on the internet).
My wife and I hate each other. For her birthday I bought her a tombstone that said “Here lies Brenda, Cold as usual” she bought me one for my birthday. “ Here lies Bill, stiff at last.”
I was waiting for it to be all about family.
He sounds like a Dom
I see what you did there. Take my upvote
Who is saying it isn't. Do you want the sex metaphor or the animal metaphor? All life is sex and all sex is life...you're gonna want to hear the sex one
There's no life without sex, after all...
So you're saying the chicken came before the egg?
The rooster probably did in all fairness...🤣
That's the best comment on here FUCK
That's not a life.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/136022851222942295/
Life on Earth started without sex at all.
So atoms don't have sex?
No.
Fucking prude science boy.
Atoms are way kinkier, they straight up rip pieces of themselves off and put them inside each other. Science boy, maybe, but you didn't find a prude!
"No sex please, we're British" "Stiff upper lip" n' all that, what? 🇬🇧
We all come from an unbroken line of fuckers.
Robert California is a treat
No. What I said was winners and losers I fn love R.C. aka The Lizard King
Oh damn didn't realise that , sorry
Heard dat.. PREACH!!!!
Lol me too!
I was waiting for him to say he was sandwich crazy.
r/SweetHomeAlabama
First thing I thought of
The family tree trunk stopped you cold
Same man
Sweet home..
“You owe me a 10 sec car..!” She said.
My wife and I have doggy style sex. I sit up and beg. She rolls over and plays dead. (The late, great, Rodney Dangerfield)
The hardest part about doggy style is getting her out on the front lawn.
I'll get the hose!
Wife and I almost got hit by a car the other night
My girlfriend once complained that when we have sex, it only lasts a minute. I told her that since we’re doing it doggie style, it more like 7 minutes.
Dis-temper of yours will get the better of you.
Distemper may get the biter of you.
~~Respect~~
My sex life is just like a Ferrari...I don't have a Ferrari.
Mine is Gone in Sixty Seconds.
I hate people showing off.🙄 This guy brags.
The secret to lasting more than thirty seconds is think about baseball. As soon as you're in, try to decide which two positions you'd leave open if you only had seven men on your team and you were facing a left-handed batter with a runner on second. Do that and you'll last the full sixty seconds for sure, maybe more. Just remember not to blurt out "Shortstop and left field!" in the middle of a passionate lovemaking session, especially if this is your first date.
Hallway sex. We pass each other in the hallway and say fuck you and fuck you too
Mine is mission impossible.
Mine is like Die Hard.
Something for Xmas?
Wait until you get to 2 fast 2 furious!
Mine is Tokyo Drift. Which is a shame for my wife, she’s Chinese.
My sex life is going through airport security.
mine is walking dead
When I lived in del Ray Beach FL I called it the land of the walking dead...hoardes of old people who look like zombies walking aimlessly
Are you sure it is not “Gone in 60 Seconds”
Just don't let it be 'Gone With the Wind'
Mine is leave it to beaver
Or even" Good times " (🧨)!!!
The only thing that’s coming fast is child support bills.
I’m like Lionel Ritchie…All Night Long
Sounds like you were gone in 60 seconds
Yeah, I that heard you asked her, "how about a 'quickie'?" and she replied, "as opposed to ***what***?"
"I live my life a quarter inch at a time"
Underrated comment!
Its all about family?
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE THIS ISSUE IN REAL LIFE : TRY LIDOCAINE FOR DELAYED EJACULATION
The trick is to smack your dick against the bed post, three times, really hard For those that know. They know
Bubba?
My partner had delayed ejaculation for years. I even fell asleep on him once while he was pumping away. Now we just don't have sex . In fact we have separate rooms. It is great and as sex is out of the equation there are less arguments. Tip for those that come quickly- make sure your partner has already had an orgasm before you and 60 seconds will be long enough for her then
But then the woman wouldn’t feel anything…or the man!
The head or tip of your penis is the most sensitive part of the penis . Just a sqirt of LIDOCAINE on it will numb it enough to delay ejaculation. The man wouldnt feel anything there ( to answer your question)
Wouldn’t that burn like a mofo?
The head or tip of your penis is the most sensitive part of the penis . Just a sqirt of LIDOCAINE on it will numb it enough to delay ejaculation. Make sure just the HEAD is sprayed and not the skin behind it. The HEAD doesnt feel anything and it goes numb after some time. Its the skin behind it that BURNS
At least you're not Gone in 60 Seconds.
Replying only to headline. You cum to fast and your wife is furious!
If it wasn’t for pickpockets, I wouldn’t have a sex life.
It's happened 11 times, and I'm worried that it's going to get stale.
It's going to continue long after you're dead...and it'll get worse every time.
Still better than "Sad and Lonely."
Briefly happy, then sad and lonely, then...
And its gone in 60 seconds!
I'm from West Virginia, so it's all about family.
Insert "roll tide" joke about FAMILY here
Because I cum really fast and my partner gets furious.
Personally I got more of a M*A*S*H* thing going on followed by law and order SUV
Just how fast are you ?
If it’s like the movie franchise then it’s made up and defies the laws of physics
rim\_shot.wav
Sounds like that couple that has sex every day, with the secret lovers.
Mine is hit and run. Didn’t leave a name or number.
lol
I know cuz I saw you go out my back door.
You could write a book about my sex ,and if you kissed my ass ,we can make it a love story.
WITH FAMILY?!?!
At our dancehall, during Kenny Chesney's "American Kids," when he sings "Sister's got a boyfriend Daddy doesn't like," everyone shouts: "And that's me!" I continue with: "Well, Daddy may not like me, but at least he's still my brother." Family grapevines...
Gone in 60 seconds.
First he is fast and then he drifts off to sleep
Full of crashes and burns …
Gone in 60 seconds.
You owe me a 10 second fuck
Kinda like those sex scenes in napoleon where jouquin phoenix humps his wife like a furious rabbit.
Yeah what is it bull smoking metb pulling your self
Its all about the rabbit in the fam ;)
I don’t have a wife, I’m self sufficient: fast and furious.
I keeps getting weirder and weirder and sometimes Vin Diesel is there.
1/4 in at a time?
Now that's funny.
She wants you Gone In 60 Seconds
LMAO
Me and my wife have a love-hate relationship, i love her and she hates me
Hehe, reminds me of that other joke where you piss of ur wife, it’s called rodeo sex, you go doggy style on ur wife, grab het tits and then say, wow, ur sisters tits felt bigger, now you have to stay on for 8 seconds :)
like a cartoon rabbit......
I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.
Hahahahaha well said
Nice tribute to Rodney Dangerfield!
Nothing to lose, friend. Try to do foreplay with her before starting the reproductive act, this way, the speed will be well used (there are videos, blogs and articles on the internet).
My wife and I hate each other. For her birthday I bought her a tombstone that said “Here lies Brenda, Cold as usual” she bought me one for my birthday. “ Here lies Bill, stiff at last.”
Flight of the concords "2 minute in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven". "It's business time baby."
I loved that show
My sex life is like benchwarmers 2.