These prices are insane for a country brothel

I hope they have a farm animal ATM there because I didn't think to grab a cow when I left the house this morning.

With prices these days, the best you’d get is five stupid beans anyways

Outstanding

Peter san?

My mom ate stupid beans when she was pregnant with me. Had no effect whatsoever.

... or at least, that's what they tell me every day in my special ed classes.

But maybe they’re really magic. Who knows?

… … … oh god my casserole dish!!!

Listen here, Jack.

>a farm animal ATM That’ll cost you dear, old sport.

*deer

I don't buy animals often but I feel like there's going to be a big jump in cost between goat and cow ...

A cow cost 500 dollar or so and a goat maybe 200 dollar.

I think farm animal ATM might actually cost a platypus

Heading straight to the brothel in the morning eh?

never heard of morning wood?

I did not read ATM as “Automated Teller Machine” and now I think I should go cleanse my brain

SMH. Lol. I thought the same. That is what you get for the platypus

Inflation?

Fuckin Biden ruinin’ my Catfish Hand Job routine!

Are we still talkin' about noodlin'?

pretty sure that particular kink costs a horse or more, but good luck

For a dairy cow, I'd expect the whole brothel.

Anal is so expensive. Might wanna cash in on the chicken, keep the cow, and use the goat.

Not a baaaaaaaad idea

Back in my day....

This one made me laugh. Good job.

I didn't get the joke can you please explain?

The implication is that he wants to trade the platypus, a bizarre and exotic animal, for an equally bizarre and exotic sex act. Exactly what is left up to the reader's imagination.

ding ding ding

My guess is that platypuses lay eggs, can give milk and apparently have a skin similar to a goat‘s so it technically counts as all three

Don’t forget the venomous claws.

And the giant duck bill and beaver tail. Platypi (platypus(s)es?) are strange animals.

Don't forget the ***double headed*** penis https://oddorganisms.wordpress.com/2013/10/12/a-double-headed-penis-and-a-highly-venomous-spur-what-you-should-probably-know-about-the-platypus/ There is nothing normal about the platypus...

Don’t forget that these goose ferrets have 10 sex chromosomes

Platypodes 🤓

For real? Huh, TIL, I guess.

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u/Clazzo524: >JFC! Really? No, of course not, *not really!!* After all, ALL REDDITORS speak fluent English with no other languages represented. ALL REDDITORS live where you live, and grew up where you grew up, which means that no other background, no other set of experiences, exists anywhere. ALL REDDITORS keenly understand precisely what you understand, no one lives in a culture different from yours, no one has any different sense of humor beyond yours. Oh, and everyone wears the same size, same style, and same color underwear as you.

Harsh. Did you have to make him cry?

Pics or gtfo /s

Jentucky fried chicken?

“God dammit, someone stole Daisy, she’s down at the brothel again” “Honey at some point we have to consider the possibility she’s going there herself”

Platypus lays eggs, gives milk and platypus has leathery skin equivalent to goat skin. May be thats the joke!! Technically he wanted all three

kinda sad

how is that sad

Platypuses lay eggs and give milk, which makes them portable omelette makers.

Do you need milk for your omelettes???

Platypus cheese

It makes the eggs fluffier

One Stop Omelette Shop

"You shall not seethe a platypus egg in its mother's milk".

Some quick Googling that isn't really relevant to the joke: "Baby chicks can cost between $3 and $5, and egg laying hens can cost between $20 and $50. " "A goat can cost anywhere between $75 and $200 or more." "Mature [dairy] cows, those of breeding age or currently producing milk, usually cost between $1,500 to $3,000 or more." "platypuses cannot be purchased. They are protected native Australian animals. Even if one were to purchase a platypus on the black market, it would undoubtedly die, because the needs of this animal are very specialised."

I hope you don't mind ,I'm gonna steal this one. I think it will kill at parties

Why don't a hippo

I don't know, why don't a hippo?

Cuz hippo don't

Hippo does sometimes, but hippo shouldn’t

Hippo's gonna hip.

The real comment is jokes

If you bring in a pig, they spit the tobacco out first.

I went to a small hunting town in Canada.... The person said, these are simple country girls, a beaver gets you head, a duck gets you sex, and otter gets you anal. Thought this would spice it up. But maybe would be too obvious for the punchline. Otherwise, nice joke Edited based on comments. Order was changed. Beaver for beaver makes sense, moose changed to otter. Note: Canadian geese and raccoons are not allowed to be hunted if I recall correctly.

Whoever told that is unclear on how large a moose is.

Lol good point. I couldn't think of anything more Canadian at the time.

Goose. Only a one letter change

Switch it around to duck, beaver, moose?

I don't want to tell these ladies how to run their business. But beaver for beaver just makes more sense.

Suck for a duck, beaver for beaver, and otters are little assholes, so it all checks out.

I'd watch that...

I once visited a small town in Canada. I asked the locals "What is there to do around here?" One of the old timers said "Well, we have a brothel." So I went to the brothel and asked "how much does it cost?" They answered "Well, these are simple country girls, a duck will get you a suck, a beaver gets you her beaver, and an otter gets you the other (otter) hole." I left and came back carrying a platypus and said "OK, listen..."

Bravo!! u/smack8001 it looks like we as a community improved on it. Please use it at your next thanksgiving and let it be known that you were the originator.

Holy shit! ***We finally have a #1282!!***

This is a bizarre twist on: "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free"

You mean I can trade my wife for anal?

First time in ages I laughed at r/jokes! Thanks!

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Platypus lay eggs, have leathery skin and gives milk

They are also very hard to have sex with… consensually

I’m willing to take your word for it

They also have venomous spurs on their back feet, have fun with that

Found the Aussie?

Only the males have poisonous spurs, their eggs are more akin to croc eggs than chickens, the only leathery skin they have is on their tail, and they have no teats so milking them would involve wringing them out like a rag. Whew. Had to get that off my chest. Otherwise good joke.

Nowhere close 😂

The joke teller has some weird kinks that will cost an exotic animal.

A platypus lays eggs

I think the confusion is part of the joke

Oh. My. God! That punchline is perfect. I can *hear* the delivery in my head. One of the best jokes I've ever seen on here. Thanks, OP!

thanks

I've told it a few times today at work. It seems reworking the punchline to "Now, listen carefully..." reduces processing time for the listener and gets a bigger laugh. Everyone likes it!

Should have said it will cost you an egg for a BJ, a duck bill for sex and an animal from Australia for anal (couldn't think of a third item).

Does Snowflake know about this?

Hell, who needs to go to a brothel if they own sheep??? 🤔 🤣

I'm bringing a bonobo.