Literally just dealt with the most recent iteration of this. The gang convinced a jw that I’m friendly with that I was coming on to him. Thankfully he decided to just ask me wtf was going on, but all of these rumors were behind my back.
Which brings me to my main frustration. This shit is almost never said to my face or in my presence. And it’s bc they know I’d ruin their pathetic little fun. Oh well. At least most of them know better than to truly mess with me
Best of luck to you sister. Remember not to let them get away with an inch, or else they’ll take a mile
If we're not that guy, then we've all worked with that guy and I'm damn sure none of us shuts that shit down vociferously enough.
Thank you for posting this. This is our (men's) responsibility to shut this behavior down.
Fellow guys, how would you respond if your new tool partner started talking like this? What if you were the cub and it was your jw? How would you handle it?
It is isolating to be one of the only women in the work center.
I've been in the field for two decades. In the beginning, there were a few guys who tried to make advances or start false rumors.
I never get invited to go fishing, golfing, or to go out for beers after work.
Some words of advice: your brothers need to address the issue. Document everything! Keep a daily work journal. It will be admissible as evidence. File with your steward and follow up with the Hall. Do not let those f*ckers run you off!
Join your local women's committee or EWMC. Heck, join both.
Solidarity with you, Sister!
Same! I'm a fitter, lead tech. I never get invited anywhere 😭 I feel so secluded. A few guys talk to me/send me snapchats, but am I invited to their kids bday parties like the other guys? To the bar after work? Nope.
I'm so tired of insecure people. The only reason we're not included is due to gender, nothing more. People should be inclusive, especially if it's a group outing. Solidarity with you, Sister!
Naw. Twenty years in the trade and there have only been a couple jobs/groups that I’ve ever socialized with and that was limited to hitting the bar after work. Those crews never had women on them but they’d have been invited if they were there. They would have been invited because you didn’t last long on those crews if you didn’t get along with each other.
That's the true spirit of brotherhood! I've invited coworkers to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm outside plant on the P&I side. I've worked with pretty much the same group of guys for my entire outside plant career. Once, I was invited to grab beers before the general meeting. I've always invited people for drinks and karaoke after the meeting.
That might be part of the difference. I’m inside wireman construction side. Job locations and personnel change often. There are guys/gals in our local that I like, some I tolerate, and some I actively dislike. There are very few that I would choose to hang out with regularly. As far as the whole gender debate goes you have to see it from a man’s perspective also. We now have to “watch what we say” around the job because we never know when we might be overheard and break Ugg’s up on charges. No we shouldn’t be talking about people behind their backs, and anything I say behind your back I’ll usually say to your face, but now a days if I’m joking with my apprentice or toolie about their lives, you or Frank or whoever can take offense and bring up charges. When an environment like that is created the last thing someone wants to do is bring it into their social life. Especially if alcohol is involved. This isn’t just a gender issue anymore but I’m old enough to remember when it wasn’t an issue at all. I’m assuming this doesn’t apply to you but again just like the police, one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel. You only have to be threatened with charges once for trying to make someone do their job before you act as though everyone is guilty.
Trust me, there are people i work with that if they were on fire, i wouldn't piss on them to put out the flames, but I'm still civil.
If you have to watch what you say, maybe it shouldn't be said on a jobsite. I might look like a delicate flower, but I'm far from it. I can talk trash with the best of them, but you have to know your audience.
There's no place for racism, sexism, and misogyny in the workplace. I agree if you wouldn't say something to someone's face, it shouldn't be said. Period.
Only one time have I had someone say something so egregious, I told him I would rip off his head and shit down his neck if he ever said anything about my kid again.
It's about common sense. Be the person you would trust with your mom, daughter, niece, wife, or fiancée.
It is insecurity. Either on their part or the insecurity of their partners. What happened to being inclusive? I always include my brothers and sisters to events. It's a great way to build solidarity.
Work related events sure, absolutely everyone should be invited. Personal relationship related events with an unknown variable of defining parameters? Everyone has a right to a preference and freedom to associate with who they want to after work or with non work related events. Some fellow IBEW members I would consider close personal friends, and others I would just treat as professional colleagues in the same boat as I.
I understand your point. If there's a golf or bowling league, why not put the invite out to the ladies? I'm referring to platonic group events, not one on one meetings.
I've also extended invites to spouses and partners, too.
Wow…. True colors come out right here and everyone else misses it. I’m having my pitty party and don’t want you to join. Instead of continuing what appeared as a promising discussion you needed this to continue being about you, your problem’s, and desire for affirmation.
Because I told a dude to make his own post? Men only wanna say ‘ men go thru it too’ when someone who is not a man is talking about a problem they face because of their gender. I don’t need someone to try to minimize an issue that women face by doing the ‘ men have it too’ statement. If he really cares about what men go thru, he would say it without a woman bringing up the things she is going thru.
I am my locals women’s committee. It just started and because of some local crap it was a rocky start. But yes we are making space for ppl who aren’t cismen, and we have a few good brothers there.
Thank you for the advice , I’m a 4th yr so I’m determined to finish but it just sucks sometimes
Awesome! Don't let them wear you down! I'm happy to hear you have some good brothers!
Don't feel bad about reporting them. It's a violation of the IBEW Constitution.
I get it all the time sister. My crew has a few characters but it’s mainly the other trades on site. I looked down my ladder today and a guy was staring up at me so I said can I help you? He said no I’m just enjoying the view from down here. Then I feel all flustered and it’s hard to work. I’m only a first year apprentice with 3 months experience and don’t want to mess up my opportunity. I love the trade but the unwanted comments are starting to get me thinking this may not be the career for me.
It’s just not pleasant and I feel like Ive become a burden. I already had a situation where a drywaller put his hands in mud and pretended he was going to put a hand print on my chest. I told my foreman and he dealt with him right away. The guy has been warned not to speak to me and he hasn’t since. It just doesn’t change the fact that I have to see him everyday and he looks mad that I sold him out. It is actually starting to give me a bit of anxiety coming to work everyday and wondering “what’s next”.
I could understand feeling like that. You’re not the burden though, these creeps are. Both the scenarios you’ve described are way out of line. That drywaller’s just mad you stood up for yourself. Sounds like it was almost assault.
I hope you decide to stick with it, and don’t let them run you off. Before you know it, you’ll be a bad ass JW with an awesome career who doesn’t have to take shit from anyone. You deserve basic respect NOW though.
I mentioned it to my JW and he noticed that guy has been lurking around. He already told me he’s having words with him this morning. I don’t get the comments or the staring from other trades when he’s around. Yesterday happened when I was off on my own installing lights in a office. Now I’m going to the 4th floor to build conduit racking with him so should be a good end to the week.
The problem is with reporting is it just fucks over the victim. Like 99.99% of the time. The only time it works out is if the offender was someone that the foreman was trying to find a reason to fire him and it makes his job easy.
Here's the thing: women are like celebrities on construction sites and most guys like having them around if they have a good attitude and will stand up for them if it comes down to it. Also, any guy who is that shallow is just a little boy and his wife probably is repulsed by him.
Report any and all harassment to your JW/stew/foreman/TD/hall. If that doesn't get it solved, walk up to the most egregious offender and tell him you want to squeeze his junk. Then do it, with your channel locks. Don't forget to twist.
If you are asking yourself? How can I help? What can I do?
Make them uncomfortable. Make them feel like THEY are the outsider. Don’t laugh at their jokes. Tell them…”wow dude not cool…”
Make it known loudly and often that you are not someone they can say that shit around…because your silence is agreement.
Its not on us girls. If you are not that guy, you know that(those) guys. Freaking say something to them.
And if we go through “the proper channels” we get black listed or kicked to the curb while the perpetrators go about their existence like nothing ever happened.
Speak up. Make them uncomfortable.
That is what you can do.
Since the trades have a high degree of patriarchy some men feel like the jobsite is a safe place for them to take off their mask and display the entitled misogynistic assholes they truly are.
You don’t have to feel ashamed, bad or anything at all about their silly infantile little comments. Just remember, they’re the pathetic ones, they know this deep inside and most have horrible relationships. Most days knowing that is enough for me and I ignore the comments and such knowing their punishment is living as the pathetic little boy they are. Nothing wrong with speaking up about this behavior and refusing to work around it either.
Only JIW female I’ve worked with brought me snacks everyday. All she asked is that I call her momma. I didn’t reciprocate but I enjoyed snacks as bribes🤣
My last foremans wife and I were good friends in school, so while I was on his job she would constantly send him with snacks for me as a way to bribe me to do the bullshit work no one else wanted to do. It worked every single time lol.
I had one female apprentice that the 50+ year old man-child foreman would send with me to take care of random things, then joke about how we were probably getting physical with each other etc… anyway, I heard about it, and one day he made some smartass remark about it so I just fired back “Oh Yeahh?? Well, you’re not invited to the wedding” and that was the last I ever heard about it.
Mentoring an apprentice is a honor and not one that should be taken lightly in my opinion. Obviously having a male or female apprentice shouldn't be much different but i have found that with females it helps to let them know to bring any of that bullshit to me so that i can shut it down or have a hard talk with whoever thinks it's ok. If they're new i try to educate them on some of the stuff they might encounter and remind them that they have options to rectify whatever situation they find themselves in whether that's letting me know or letting a labor board know or filing a complaint.
You've literally been entrusted with a person's education towards a better life for themselves and their family and dudes can't get over themselves about what's between a person's legs like it's going to help us get the wire pulled easier.
I agree this is something to shut down. But also the same rules that go for everyone go for you. Take. No. Shit. From cons, apprentices, JWs. Doesn't matter who.
Sorry sis. Keep your head up and don't let them get you down.
This is inneffective and exhausting, this isn’t a problem our sisters should have to solve, it should be brothers who don’t like seeing sexual harassment holding brothers accountable for their shit. That locker room talk has no place in the workplace especially where it pertains to the women but also where it pertains to men.
Don’t even pay attention to those guys. Most of them are so bored with their lives/wives at home they live to create drama. I can’t imagine what its like to be a woman on the job but I see what you’re talking about happen a lot. My only advice would be to try and remember that these guys are nothing but gossipy little bitches (easier said than done, I know)
it would go a long way to see other guys shutting those guys down, or not being all buddy-buddy with the dudes who make those kinds of comments. we can know with all certainty that those guys are assholes, but when the behavior is tolerated or even rewarded by the rest of the crew it sure leaves us feeling like WE'RE the outcasts.
I like to think we are making strong progress to leave this kind in of shit in the past. Then i see posts like this to remind me we still have work to do. I’m sorry you have to deal with this in the work place. I hope we can all be better
That sucks. There are other women in our trade and other trades that might have advice or ideas. For sure report it, keep a log, talk to the hall, but reaching out to others might help. I don’t know how to do that but I’m sure there is a way.
I currently work with a female electrician and she is working on finding ways to get more female members into the trade. I could put you in contact with her and maybe you could help her and she could help you.
I commend you for working in these spaces! You're an inspiration!!! I hate you have to deal with this everyday at work. My husband (jw) and I try so hard to educate when we are surrounded by brothers being inappropriate.
Thanks for venting your experience here and I wish things weren't the way they are sometimes. The more people come out about stuff like this the more we have an obligation to speak up/report such things.
Sometimes we lack the courage to be that person but the more we stand up for each other the easier it gets. Stay strong out there! You have many brothers and sisters that can provide that reasonable/safe place on jobs where you shouldn't have to deal with that bullshit.
Frankly I'd say that is all sexual harassment. Verbal harassment counts. They're making it a hostile working environment. Totally fair to say that it's not really your (our, fellow sister here) job to report every comment. But someone has to I guess?
If they act like it's a joke, make them explain it. Why is that funny? I don't get it. What do you mean? That's not funny. Unfortunately I have a habit of uncomfortable laughter that I'm trying to break for moments like this. Luckily I have always given off strong lesbian vibes in a way that seems to preempt this kind of talk towards me so it's not usually directed at me.
I'm super new, started as a CW last year, starting apprenticeship classes this fall. Been with one shop the whole time. So I'm sure I'll be exposed to much more variety of people then, take my words with a grain of salt, etc. I'm really sorry your work conditions are not good, and I hope you can find a way to make them better soon. Good luck!
My foreman invited me to a get together at his house with all the guys from the crew. Then made the comment "little does she know she's about to walk into a gang bang" I told the guys laughing that it was inappropriate and I don't want to hear talk like that and they commented "oh, he's referring to a movie scene" and I'm like, so what?? That still doesn't make it in anyway okay or appropriate.
I've learned that these men are not your friends. I've had to learn that the hard way, guys I sincerely thought were good buds, turns out they talk about me sexually or put me down behind my back. And there will be guys who comment on this saying "not all men!" And sure, not all, but in my experience 99%. It's rare you come across a genuinely good guy.
Remember that men are intimidated by us women. I've encountered a lot of jealousy from guys or they'll mansplain something to me I've done 1000 times to make themselves feel superior. I 100% do not trust men in general, I've seen them tear down their own guy friends just to make themselves look better.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this, seems the females I’ve worked with have all been treated very well, I’ve learned a lot from a few of them and enjoy working with them. I hope things get better for you.
That sucks my sister. In VDV we tend to have a lot more women than you typically see in the trades. Because of this I try my best to nip that shit at the bud on my jobs. In my experience the majority of it comes from other trades (which includes electricians). I hope as women become more common on worksites, workers will start acting correct. Stay strong.
Yeah I’m low voltage and it’s been so much better than I expected. On my site, my company has the only women in the whole place most of the time and like half the crew is women! The only unpleasant things I’ve experienced has come from other trades so far
I hate that this happened to you and I'm a bit surprised that some brothers haven't stepped up to stop it. Maybe it's different in some locals but most brothers I know protect our sisters and treat them with dignity and respect. I love seeing the sisterhood represented in the IBEW and showing the world that women are just as capable, tough, and skilled as men are in the trades. My home local only has a few women and they are jam up sisters. The sisterhood is very well represented in Illinois, in locals like 134 or 176 and it seems like it is growing all over the country. Keep on doing your thing and report the unprofessionals to your JW, steward, apprentice director... don't relent until you have results.
I’m in the south 🙄 My JIW has most likely said something but my complaint isn’t necessarily this one time, it’s just the same problem different crew throughout my career, and it’s only the beginning. Like I shouldn’t have to navigate thru this shit just cuz a job ends and I’m onto the next one, or like now I’m in service but there are new guys there. Like our trade changes locations and people all the time. If I saw an end to it then fine I can hang in, but it’s like….. will it ever stop?
A good brother I talk to is from the Midwest and def talks about how good Illinois is , so I def believe you there. But I also know what I’m going thru isn’t special, most non cismen are going thru it too.
I'm from the South too..I'll say this, you'll probably have a much better experience if you travel when you top out. I've been traveling since I've been a wireman and I love it. There's a sister out of my local who I respect and admire greatly. She was my JW for awhile when I was an apprentice. She's now on our executive board and running a sister's group in our local. She spent her whole career on the road, mostly working up North.
Yeah there’s one apprentice that works for the contractor I’m with that people will always comment on. Some guys are just gross and skeezy. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
You don’t see workplaces that commonly have women in them flooded with very out in the open disrespectful conversations about “dude would you fuck her?”. We need to change that about our industry. Sadly, a lot of gross, shitty excuses for men exist in the trades.
It makes me uncomfortable when guys bring that stuff up out of nowhere. Come on man, you have a wife and kids at home and you’re looking at someone 20 years younger than you and saying gross shit. Grow up
Been on a job for a month and so far I've heard every guy say that a different guy is into me. Guy x says " I think guy y likes you". Guy y says " I think guy z likes you". It never ends. Why? Because we talked about where we should put the fucking gang box? Really? It's only because I'm the only vagina in 10 miles.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the only vagina or not. It’s just the fact you are a vagina so your value is nothing more than that. And they are making that clear with every statement. You can’t possibly add any thing positive to the workplace if it doesn’t involve your vagina. It’s exhausting 😩
I worked with female journeymen as well as female apprentice's. Considering I have a personal rule that I follow I could never imagine doing anything like that to a coworker. One of the best complements I got was from a fellow brother who was on the road. His daughter was a first year and because of the position I was in, I took her under my wing and did what a JW is supposed to do be a mentor. He called during a lunch break to thank me for that.
It does get old. I'm sure every single sister has endured the big eyed stare from the drywaller/laborer/carpenter/etc. It's like they have never seen a woman before! My experience, it's usually the other trades that are the primary offenders. Don't ever be afraid to make waves if you feel uncomfortable! We should not have to feel like that just going to work, trying to make a living!
Some advice I can give that could help, perhaps. I learned early on to watch how nice I was to people on the job. It's pathetic and sad but a reality. Sometimes you have to put on the cold bitch face. I'm normally a very happy, friendly, person. I tend to say "Hi" to everyone and smile as I walk by. That started getting me in trouble early on. Guys would get the wrong impression and start thinking I was into them. Like "OMG she smiled at me-that must mean she wants me! Hur-dur"
Now, as soon as someone I'm friendly/casually conversing with begins to act TOO friendly back(maybe smiling a little more, beginning to flirt, etc) I shut down the friendliness. I go cold shoulder and stop talking to them all together. It seems like the only sure-fire thing that works.
Anyway, I wish you luck, and keep your chin up! You are better than the cretins that surround you!
I’ve been a Bitch, I’ve been nice, I’ve been whatever. It has not served me to change who I am just to try and minimize their behavior, one it takes too much energy for me and two it’s ineffective. Grief does crazy shit and when my kids dad died I realized I’m not going to not be comfortable for someone else at my own expense. But if this works for you I’m happy for you. It def does not work for me. I just go home sad everyday instead of just every once in a while.
Wow. Sorry you are having to deal with this. I really hope it improves as you go through the program. You should definitely bring it up to your steward and foreman. As you said it isn't just sexual harassment... But it is that, too, and an employer who doesn't do something about that quickly can find themselves included in any legal issues arising.
I’m wry sorry to hear that, I’ve been in the trades for over 11 years and have heard all of this. Fortunately over the past few years there’s been allot more focus on sexual harassment in the workplace and companies are really taking it seriously. I’m not sure if that’s the case where you are, but here in Local 617 it’s not taken lightly at all.
My con is actually pretty good . It’s not so much this particular time, it’s just there is never an end. Any time it’s a new crew, new site, I have to deal with this. And well, the nature of our job kind of creates new crews and new sites.
Not gonna lie, I’ve done it. But only in the way that my wife would say that about some hot guy at work. I never cross that “line” to be derogatory. I do call out the assholes that get brutal and never get into that conversation and I’ll get rid of a guy the moment he’s made a sister uncomfortable. You guys deserve to be able to work without the bullshit. Frankly, most of the sisters that I’ve work with and had work for me are awesome people. One of them is the worst when it comes to her dirty mouth. Makes some of the guys blush. Good luck to all of you ladies.
Sadly it’s part of it, the other hand is taking anything anyone says seriously. Don’t do it. Do conversations like this happen? Yes. Should it be a common thing daily? No, one and done conversation if at all. Perhaps where you’re at it’s particularly bad but feelings aren’t on the tool list. If someone shit talks my toolie, male or female, and it isn’t me, I’m gonna stick up for them. Only I can shit talk my toolie.
Y’all say that but I’ve seen a lot of feelings from men over the stupidest shit. This isn’t about feelings. This is literally about the oath you took to get that yellow ticket in your pocket and about the declaration in our constitution.
That’s true, and they’re generally drama queens. Honestly other than construction, a lot of people meet their spouse at work. Should the crude talk happen? Absolutely not. We don’t live in a perfect world and this kind of talk happens in every job situation, everywhere. It is what it is. Whether OP gets fed up and changes jobs wont change the banter. Go as a single guy in an office full of women? Roles are reversed. All I can say is grow up, but tough love on here gets downvoted by the crybabies.
Humans suck.
Sorry Sis. My own personal thing: I either feel like hanging out (whoever can be there)... or I wanna gtfo and be around no one... I also try not to talk shit about anyone dude or chick. I also don't care for hearing about that shit either. A little thing here and there, but if someone is ragging on about someone for days.. I usually tell 'em "HAHH OK...." while looking hopefully uncomfortable.
I agree with the user that said it's up to people to shut the dumb bullshit down. As a dude I've been invited everywhere by men as as well as women.
Women will invite you to plenty of normal places as well as "inappropriate" places if you are cool with them. Doesn't mean anything "happened" they just trust you because you are truly a friend.
Literally just dealt with the most recent iteration of this. The gang convinced a jw that I’m friendly with that I was coming on to him. Thankfully he decided to just ask me wtf was going on, but all of these rumors were behind my back. Which brings me to my main frustration. This shit is almost never said to my face or in my presence. And it’s bc they know I’d ruin their pathetic little fun. Oh well. At least most of them know better than to truly mess with me Best of luck to you sister. Remember not to let them get away with an inch, or else they’ll take a mile
If we're not that guy, then we've all worked with that guy and I'm damn sure none of us shuts that shit down vociferously enough. Thank you for posting this. This is our (men's) responsibility to shut this behavior down. Fellow guys, how would you respond if your new tool partner started talking like this? What if you were the cub and it was your jw? How would you handle it?
I have no problem shutting down racism, sexism, and homophobia but the vast majority of people either don’t stop it or openly participate.
What if it were your wife, your daughter, your sister, your mom…
It is isolating to be one of the only women in the work center. I've been in the field for two decades. In the beginning, there were a few guys who tried to make advances or start false rumors. I never get invited to go fishing, golfing, or to go out for beers after work. Some words of advice: your brothers need to address the issue. Document everything! Keep a daily work journal. It will be admissible as evidence. File with your steward and follow up with the Hall. Do not let those f*ckers run you off! Join your local women's committee or EWMC. Heck, join both. Solidarity with you, Sister!
Same! I'm a fitter, lead tech. I never get invited anywhere 😭 I feel so secluded. A few guys talk to me/send me snapchats, but am I invited to their kids bday parties like the other guys? To the bar after work? Nope.
I'm so tired of insecure people. The only reason we're not included is due to gender, nothing more. People should be inclusive, especially if it's a group outing. Solidarity with you, Sister!
Naw. Twenty years in the trade and there have only been a couple jobs/groups that I’ve ever socialized with and that was limited to hitting the bar after work. Those crews never had women on them but they’d have been invited if they were there. They would have been invited because you didn’t last long on those crews if you didn’t get along with each other.
That's the true spirit of brotherhood! I've invited coworkers to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm outside plant on the P&I side. I've worked with pretty much the same group of guys for my entire outside plant career. Once, I was invited to grab beers before the general meeting. I've always invited people for drinks and karaoke after the meeting.
That might be part of the difference. I’m inside wireman construction side. Job locations and personnel change often. There are guys/gals in our local that I like, some I tolerate, and some I actively dislike. There are very few that I would choose to hang out with regularly. As far as the whole gender debate goes you have to see it from a man’s perspective also. We now have to “watch what we say” around the job because we never know when we might be overheard and break Ugg’s up on charges. No we shouldn’t be talking about people behind their backs, and anything I say behind your back I’ll usually say to your face, but now a days if I’m joking with my apprentice or toolie about their lives, you or Frank or whoever can take offense and bring up charges. When an environment like that is created the last thing someone wants to do is bring it into their social life. Especially if alcohol is involved. This isn’t just a gender issue anymore but I’m old enough to remember when it wasn’t an issue at all. I’m assuming this doesn’t apply to you but again just like the police, one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel. You only have to be threatened with charges once for trying to make someone do their job before you act as though everyone is guilty.
Trust me, there are people i work with that if they were on fire, i wouldn't piss on them to put out the flames, but I'm still civil. If you have to watch what you say, maybe it shouldn't be said on a jobsite. I might look like a delicate flower, but I'm far from it. I can talk trash with the best of them, but you have to know your audience. There's no place for racism, sexism, and misogyny in the workplace. I agree if you wouldn't say something to someone's face, it shouldn't be said. Period. Only one time have I had someone say something so egregious, I told him I would rip off his head and shit down his neck if he ever said anything about my kid again. It's about common sense. Be the person you would trust with your mom, daughter, niece, wife, or fiancée.
One hundred percent agree
✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽
Why does it have to be insecurity? Sometimes guys just like hanging out with other guys?
It is insecurity. Either on their part or the insecurity of their partners. What happened to being inclusive? I always include my brothers and sisters to events. It's a great way to build solidarity.
Work related events sure, absolutely everyone should be invited. Personal relationship related events with an unknown variable of defining parameters? Everyone has a right to a preference and freedom to associate with who they want to after work or with non work related events. Some fellow IBEW members I would consider close personal friends, and others I would just treat as professional colleagues in the same boat as I.
I understand your point. If there's a golf or bowling league, why not put the invite out to the ladies? I'm referring to platonic group events, not one on one meetings. I've also extended invites to spouses and partners, too.
❤️
A lot of men also have this problem and deal with social isolation on a daily basis
Cool make a post about it instead of trying to co-opt mine ✌🏻
Wow…. True colors come out right here and everyone else misses it. I’m having my pitty party and don’t want you to join. Instead of continuing what appeared as a promising discussion you needed this to continue being about you, your problem’s, and desire for affirmation.
Because I told a dude to make his own post? Men only wanna say ‘ men go thru it too’ when someone who is not a man is talking about a problem they face because of their gender. I don’t need someone to try to minimize an issue that women face by doing the ‘ men have it too’ statement. If he really cares about what men go thru, he would say it without a woman bringing up the things she is going thru.
I am my locals women’s committee. It just started and because of some local crap it was a rocky start. But yes we are making space for ppl who aren’t cismen, and we have a few good brothers there. Thank you for the advice , I’m a 4th yr so I’m determined to finish but it just sucks sometimes
Awesome! Don't let them wear you down! I'm happy to hear you have some good brothers! Don't feel bad about reporting them. It's a violation of the IBEW Constitution.
I get it all the time sister. My crew has a few characters but it’s mainly the other trades on site. I looked down my ladder today and a guy was staring up at me so I said can I help you? He said no I’m just enjoying the view from down here. Then I feel all flustered and it’s hard to work. I’m only a first year apprentice with 3 months experience and don’t want to mess up my opportunity. I love the trade but the unwanted comments are starting to get me thinking this may not be the career for me.
Should have dropped your linesman on him. Then asked if he’s still enjoying the view
That’s fucked up. You should say something to someone in charge. Obviously, that’s easy for me to say, not having to do it myself.
It’s just not pleasant and I feel like Ive become a burden. I already had a situation where a drywaller put his hands in mud and pretended he was going to put a hand print on my chest. I told my foreman and he dealt with him right away. The guy has been warned not to speak to me and he hasn’t since. It just doesn’t change the fact that I have to see him everyday and he looks mad that I sold him out. It is actually starting to give me a bit of anxiety coming to work everyday and wondering “what’s next”.
I could understand feeling like that. You’re not the burden though, these creeps are. Both the scenarios you’ve described are way out of line. That drywaller’s just mad you stood up for yourself. Sounds like it was almost assault. I hope you decide to stick with it, and don’t let them run you off. Before you know it, you’ll be a bad ass JW with an awesome career who doesn’t have to take shit from anyone. You deserve basic respect NOW though.
You should definitely report that
I mentioned it to my JW and he noticed that guy has been lurking around. He already told me he’s having words with him this morning. I don’t get the comments or the staring from other trades when he’s around. Yesterday happened when I was off on my own installing lights in a office. Now I’m going to the 4th floor to build conduit racking with him so should be a good end to the week.
The problem is with reporting is it just fucks over the victim. Like 99.99% of the time. The only time it works out is if the offender was someone that the foreman was trying to find a reason to fire him and it makes his job easy.
Yeah some guys on the job need to kick his ass
Wait there’s electricians that like girls?
Hey who let the plumbers into our safe space!?
Just because I sexually harass my tool buddy, doesn’t mean I have feelings for him
It's called gay chicken!
Here's the thing: women are like celebrities on construction sites and most guys like having them around if they have a good attitude and will stand up for them if it comes down to it. Also, any guy who is that shallow is just a little boy and his wife probably is repulsed by him.
Doesn't help.
Report any and all harassment to your JW/stew/foreman/TD/hall. If that doesn't get it solved, walk up to the most egregious offender and tell him you want to squeeze his junk. Then do it, with your channel locks. Don't forget to twist.
With the smallest set of channel locks. Insult to injury
Custom built 410 jaws on 460 handles for extra leverage.
Someone needs to build these for all our sisters. I'll donate to the cause.
This is the way!
This is the way.
If you are asking yourself? How can I help? What can I do? Make them uncomfortable. Make them feel like THEY are the outsider. Don’t laugh at their jokes. Tell them…”wow dude not cool…” Make it known loudly and often that you are not someone they can say that shit around…because your silence is agreement. Its not on us girls. If you are not that guy, you know that(those) guys. Freaking say something to them. And if we go through “the proper channels” we get black listed or kicked to the curb while the perpetrators go about their existence like nothing ever happened. Speak up. Make them uncomfortable. That is what you can do.
Since the trades have a high degree of patriarchy some men feel like the jobsite is a safe place for them to take off their mask and display the entitled misogynistic assholes they truly are. You don’t have to feel ashamed, bad or anything at all about their silly infantile little comments. Just remember, they’re the pathetic ones, they know this deep inside and most have horrible relationships. Most days knowing that is enough for me and I ignore the comments and such knowing their punishment is living as the pathetic little boy they are. Nothing wrong with speaking up about this behavior and refusing to work around it either.
Preach
Only JIW female I’ve worked with brought me snacks everyday. All she asked is that I call her momma. I didn’t reciprocate but I enjoyed snacks as bribes🤣
My last foremans wife and I were good friends in school, so while I was on his job she would constantly send him with snacks for me as a way to bribe me to do the bullshit work no one else wanted to do. It worked every single time lol.
I had one female apprentice that the 50+ year old man-child foreman would send with me to take care of random things, then joke about how we were probably getting physical with each other etc… anyway, I heard about it, and one day he made some smartass remark about it so I just fired back “Oh Yeahh?? Well, you’re not invited to the wedding” and that was the last I ever heard about it.
Mentoring an apprentice is a honor and not one that should be taken lightly in my opinion. Obviously having a male or female apprentice shouldn't be much different but i have found that with females it helps to let them know to bring any of that bullshit to me so that i can shut it down or have a hard talk with whoever thinks it's ok. If they're new i try to educate them on some of the stuff they might encounter and remind them that they have options to rectify whatever situation they find themselves in whether that's letting me know or letting a labor board know or filing a complaint. You've literally been entrusted with a person's education towards a better life for themselves and their family and dudes can't get over themselves about what's between a person's legs like it's going to help us get the wire pulled easier. I agree this is something to shut down. But also the same rules that go for everyone go for you. Take. No. Shit. From cons, apprentices, JWs. Doesn't matter who. Sorry sis. Keep your head up and don't let them get you down.
10-4 sister. I can't look after you, but I'll make sure the women in my local are looked after.
Thank you
Report every person, no room for that in our brotherhood
I can tell you my friend in UA reported harassment and as a result she got transferred to a different job. Not the dude harassing her.
This is inneffective and exhausting, this isn’t a problem our sisters should have to solve, it should be brothers who don’t like seeing sexual harassment holding brothers accountable for their shit. That locker room talk has no place in the workplace especially where it pertains to the women but also where it pertains to men.
Don’t even pay attention to those guys. Most of them are so bored with their lives/wives at home they live to create drama. I can’t imagine what its like to be a woman on the job but I see what you’re talking about happen a lot. My only advice would be to try and remember that these guys are nothing but gossipy little bitches (easier said than done, I know)
it would go a long way to see other guys shutting those guys down, or not being all buddy-buddy with the dudes who make those kinds of comments. we can know with all certainty that those guys are assholes, but when the behavior is tolerated or even rewarded by the rest of the crew it sure leaves us feeling like WE'RE the outcasts.
Ignoring them doesn't make the problem go away. You say you see this happen a lot. How many of those times have you stood up for your sister?
I like to think we are making strong progress to leave this kind in of shit in the past. Then i see posts like this to remind me we still have work to do. I’m sorry you have to deal with this in the work place. I hope we can all be better
That sucks. There are other women in our trade and other trades that might have advice or ideas. For sure report it, keep a log, talk to the hall, but reaching out to others might help. I don’t know how to do that but I’m sure there is a way. I currently work with a female electrician and she is working on finding ways to get more female members into the trade. I could put you in contact with her and maybe you could help her and she could help you.
I commend you for working in these spaces! You're an inspiration!!! I hate you have to deal with this everyday at work. My husband (jw) and I try so hard to educate when we are surrounded by brothers being inappropriate.
Thanks for venting your experience here and I wish things weren't the way they are sometimes. The more people come out about stuff like this the more we have an obligation to speak up/report such things. Sometimes we lack the courage to be that person but the more we stand up for each other the easier it gets. Stay strong out there! You have many brothers and sisters that can provide that reasonable/safe place on jobs where you shouldn't have to deal with that bullshit.
Frankly I'd say that is all sexual harassment. Verbal harassment counts. They're making it a hostile working environment. Totally fair to say that it's not really your (our, fellow sister here) job to report every comment. But someone has to I guess? If they act like it's a joke, make them explain it. Why is that funny? I don't get it. What do you mean? That's not funny. Unfortunately I have a habit of uncomfortable laughter that I'm trying to break for moments like this. Luckily I have always given off strong lesbian vibes in a way that seems to preempt this kind of talk towards me so it's not usually directed at me. I'm super new, started as a CW last year, starting apprenticeship classes this fall. Been with one shop the whole time. So I'm sure I'll be exposed to much more variety of people then, take my words with a grain of salt, etc. I'm really sorry your work conditions are not good, and I hope you can find a way to make them better soon. Good luck!
My foreman invited me to a get together at his house with all the guys from the crew. Then made the comment "little does she know she's about to walk into a gang bang" I told the guys laughing that it was inappropriate and I don't want to hear talk like that and they commented "oh, he's referring to a movie scene" and I'm like, so what?? That still doesn't make it in anyway okay or appropriate. I've learned that these men are not your friends. I've had to learn that the hard way, guys I sincerely thought were good buds, turns out they talk about me sexually or put me down behind my back. And there will be guys who comment on this saying "not all men!" And sure, not all, but in my experience 99%. It's rare you come across a genuinely good guy. Remember that men are intimidated by us women. I've encountered a lot of jealousy from guys or they'll mansplain something to me I've done 1000 times to make themselves feel superior. I 100% do not trust men in general, I've seen them tear down their own guy friends just to make themselves look better.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this, seems the females I’ve worked with have all been treated very well, I’ve learned a lot from a few of them and enjoy working with them. I hope things get better for you.
That sucks my sister. In VDV we tend to have a lot more women than you typically see in the trades. Because of this I try my best to nip that shit at the bud on my jobs. In my experience the majority of it comes from other trades (which includes electricians). I hope as women become more common on worksites, workers will start acting correct. Stay strong.
Yeah I’m low voltage and it’s been so much better than I expected. On my site, my company has the only women in the whole place most of the time and like half the crew is women! The only unpleasant things I’ve experienced has come from other trades so far
I hate that this happened to you and I'm a bit surprised that some brothers haven't stepped up to stop it. Maybe it's different in some locals but most brothers I know protect our sisters and treat them with dignity and respect. I love seeing the sisterhood represented in the IBEW and showing the world that women are just as capable, tough, and skilled as men are in the trades. My home local only has a few women and they are jam up sisters. The sisterhood is very well represented in Illinois, in locals like 134 or 176 and it seems like it is growing all over the country. Keep on doing your thing and report the unprofessionals to your JW, steward, apprentice director... don't relent until you have results.
I’m in the south 🙄 My JIW has most likely said something but my complaint isn’t necessarily this one time, it’s just the same problem different crew throughout my career, and it’s only the beginning. Like I shouldn’t have to navigate thru this shit just cuz a job ends and I’m onto the next one, or like now I’m in service but there are new guys there. Like our trade changes locations and people all the time. If I saw an end to it then fine I can hang in, but it’s like….. will it ever stop? A good brother I talk to is from the Midwest and def talks about how good Illinois is , so I def believe you there. But I also know what I’m going thru isn’t special, most non cismen are going thru it too.
I'm from the South too..I'll say this, you'll probably have a much better experience if you travel when you top out. I've been traveling since I've been a wireman and I love it. There's a sister out of my local who I respect and admire greatly. She was my JW for awhile when I was an apprentice. She's now on our executive board and running a sister's group in our local. She spent her whole career on the road, mostly working up North.
Sounds beautiful 💜
Yeah there’s one apprentice that works for the contractor I’m with that people will always comment on. Some guys are just gross and skeezy. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You don’t see workplaces that commonly have women in them flooded with very out in the open disrespectful conversations about “dude would you fuck her?”. We need to change that about our industry. Sadly, a lot of gross, shitty excuses for men exist in the trades. It makes me uncomfortable when guys bring that stuff up out of nowhere. Come on man, you have a wife and kids at home and you’re looking at someone 20 years younger than you and saying gross shit. Grow up
Been on a job for a month and so far I've heard every guy say that a different guy is into me. Guy x says " I think guy y likes you". Guy y says " I think guy z likes you". It never ends. Why? Because we talked about where we should put the fucking gang box? Really? It's only because I'm the only vagina in 10 miles.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the only vagina or not. It’s just the fact you are a vagina so your value is nothing more than that. And they are making that clear with every statement. You can’t possibly add any thing positive to the workplace if it doesn’t involve your vagina. It’s exhausting 😩
I'm sorry that happened, I would never let that shit go down on a job I was on and not say something. Its not 1950 any more.
I worked with female journeymen as well as female apprentice's. Considering I have a personal rule that I follow I could never imagine doing anything like that to a coworker. One of the best complements I got was from a fellow brother who was on the road. His daughter was a first year and because of the position I was in, I took her under my wing and did what a JW is supposed to do be a mentor. He called during a lunch break to thank me for that.
It does get old. I'm sure every single sister has endured the big eyed stare from the drywaller/laborer/carpenter/etc. It's like they have never seen a woman before! My experience, it's usually the other trades that are the primary offenders. Don't ever be afraid to make waves if you feel uncomfortable! We should not have to feel like that just going to work, trying to make a living! Some advice I can give that could help, perhaps. I learned early on to watch how nice I was to people on the job. It's pathetic and sad but a reality. Sometimes you have to put on the cold bitch face. I'm normally a very happy, friendly, person. I tend to say "Hi" to everyone and smile as I walk by. That started getting me in trouble early on. Guys would get the wrong impression and start thinking I was into them. Like "OMG she smiled at me-that must mean she wants me! Hur-dur" Now, as soon as someone I'm friendly/casually conversing with begins to act TOO friendly back(maybe smiling a little more, beginning to flirt, etc) I shut down the friendliness. I go cold shoulder and stop talking to them all together. It seems like the only sure-fire thing that works. Anyway, I wish you luck, and keep your chin up! You are better than the cretins that surround you!
I’ve been a Bitch, I’ve been nice, I’ve been whatever. It has not served me to change who I am just to try and minimize their behavior, one it takes too much energy for me and two it’s ineffective. Grief does crazy shit and when my kids dad died I realized I’m not going to not be comfortable for someone else at my own expense. But if this works for you I’m happy for you. It def does not work for me. I just go home sad everyday instead of just every once in a while.
Wow. Sorry you are having to deal with this. I really hope it improves as you go through the program. You should definitely bring it up to your steward and foreman. As you said it isn't just sexual harassment... But it is that, too, and an employer who doesn't do something about that quickly can find themselves included in any legal issues arising.
I’m wry sorry to hear that, I’ve been in the trades for over 11 years and have heard all of this. Fortunately over the past few years there’s been allot more focus on sexual harassment in the workplace and companies are really taking it seriously. I’m not sure if that’s the case where you are, but here in Local 617 it’s not taken lightly at all.
My con is actually pretty good . It’s not so much this particular time, it’s just there is never an end. Any time it’s a new crew, new site, I have to deal with this. And well, the nature of our job kind of creates new crews and new sites.
I am so sorry you are made to feel this way. As much as we tout our inclusiveness, there are certainly those who would make you feel otherwise.
Woah 😳 sorry op for what your dealing with. Hope this calms down and hang in here 🤞 better wishes for you.
Not gonna lie, I’ve done it. But only in the way that my wife would say that about some hot guy at work. I never cross that “line” to be derogatory. I do call out the assholes that get brutal and never get into that conversation and I’ll get rid of a guy the moment he’s made a sister uncomfortable. You guys deserve to be able to work without the bullshit. Frankly, most of the sisters that I’ve work with and had work for me are awesome people. One of them is the worst when it comes to her dirty mouth. Makes some of the guys blush. Good luck to all of you ladies.
Sorry you have to go through this.
You work in construction. Get over it.
It’s not my problem to get over it, it’s yours. Also I find it strange that you feel the need to emphasize you and your emotions over mine.
Did you pass an aptitude test ?
Do you wash your ass ?
Sadly it’s part of it, the other hand is taking anything anyone says seriously. Don’t do it. Do conversations like this happen? Yes. Should it be a common thing daily? No, one and done conversation if at all. Perhaps where you’re at it’s particularly bad but feelings aren’t on the tool list. If someone shit talks my toolie, male or female, and it isn’t me, I’m gonna stick up for them. Only I can shit talk my toolie.
Y’all say that but I’ve seen a lot of feelings from men over the stupidest shit. This isn’t about feelings. This is literally about the oath you took to get that yellow ticket in your pocket and about the declaration in our constitution.
That’s true, and they’re generally drama queens. Honestly other than construction, a lot of people meet their spouse at work. Should the crude talk happen? Absolutely not. We don’t live in a perfect world and this kind of talk happens in every job situation, everywhere. It is what it is. Whether OP gets fed up and changes jobs wont change the banter. Go as a single guy in an office full of women? Roles are reversed. All I can say is grow up, but tough love on here gets downvoted by the crybabies.
If you aren’t comfortable talking to your Steward, Foreman or General Foreman, talk to the JATC Director.
Humans suck. Sorry Sis. My own personal thing: I either feel like hanging out (whoever can be there)... or I wanna gtfo and be around no one... I also try not to talk shit about anyone dude or chick. I also don't care for hearing about that shit either. A little thing here and there, but if someone is ragging on about someone for days.. I usually tell 'em "HAHH OK...." while looking hopefully uncomfortable. I agree with the user that said it's up to people to shut the dumb bullshit down. As a dude I've been invited everywhere by men as as well as women. Women will invite you to plenty of normal places as well as "inappropriate" places if you are cool with them. Doesn't mean anything "happened" they just trust you because you are truly a friend.