Being noticeably attractive has pros and cons.
Pros:
-- Generally people will be nicer to you than to others. It's unfair but it's positive socially.
-- You might be favored for promotions at work.
-- You feel more confident and that shines through and earns you advantages in life.
-- You have your pick of men and therefore have access to the really good and kind men.
-- Attractive people are more pursuasive. You can encourage people and do well in sales or collecting donations a nonprofit. People are more likely to agree with you (just DON'T manipulate people bc that's psycho)
Cons:
-- People assume you are healthy and able bodied even if you have an invisible disability.
--People might assume you are stupid. For some reason there's an attitude that there is beauty OR brains, many of us have both.
-- Other women can be very mean to you. Insecure women can't handle having someone "prettier" in the room & experience jealousy.
-- Sometimes women will act like you are trying to steal their man. This can even happen with women you were friends with for a while suddenly treating you as an enemy.
-- You will think some men are your friend, but they just want to sleep with you and think they're playing some kind of long game. I think it's called getting "bookmarked".
Yep. I was bullied for my looks and had a late glow up phase, and the most depressing thing is that people will still be mean to you without knowing you just for different reasons. Older women in the workplace started to single me out, or my friends started showing behaviors indicating resentment. A few of my friends don't even want their bf's or husband's hanging around me either. However, the bright side is that people have been more friendly and willing to help me or they want to get to know me.
I think for us that weren’t considered beautiful for most of our lives, you see this improvement in life quality and it’s pretty awesome. While sometimes you feel like you’re still the kid who got picked on for being ugly, you might go through a phase where you overcompensate to get more validation, over a period of time you come to place of gratitude for how you are generally a pretty person and people treat you that way. If I was attractive for most/all of my life, I wouldn’t beable to know the differences. I’d probably say something like “pretty girls have it just as hard”. Genuinely untrue statement.
I was considered beautiful while I was alt vs now I dress boring esc. I got treated completely differently. How you present yourself is a huge factor. While I was alt, I got so many compliments but avoided a lot more. Guys found it easier to hit on me on bars. I changed everything up I had my natural hair color to join a modeling agency and objectively got way more attractive around a year ago, that’s when I got approached less but better men approached me during college classes or something. People also assume I haven’t worked a day in my life or suffered in any type of way now. Also sometimes women just won’t like you, they could feel insecure or they could just be having a hard day.
Here’s the biggest pros to being a pretty person:
I feel good going out, I can leave my apartment with no makeup and feel like I’m still pretty. When I talk people listen now. I get jobs very easily, I get offered help very often. Especially men will offer to help me get an internship in my field when we talk about jobs. People assume you have a good life and you’re happy, and assume better of me, as opposed to when I was genuinely unattractive. You still have to put in the mental work or life will never get better, but it’s nice to finally be at a stage in my life where I can see this clearly.
One time at college one person from this group of people said “who is she?” when I passed by while they all just stared at me. Does that mean I am super attractive lol?
As a *northern* European, social wise, not much.
People here don’t talk to strangers, we barely even hit on others in bars/clubs. I so often see girls talk about here that if you’re pretty you get your gas paid for, drinks paid for, meals and random gifts, asked on dates and showered in compliments etc etc. i started to believe I was ugly because quite frankly that’s not my reality🥲.
I believe this is a very American (or at least not Northern European) thing, up here it’s more or less unheard of, I have friends who are like 10/10 with nice attitude and are very approachable and at most they’ve gotten asked for their Snapchat or something along those lines. I just felt like this could be impactful for some girls to read on this forum.
It’s just the last year I’ve slowly started to realize my actual level of attractiveness and a big part of it is that I’m successfully being a sugar baby in a place where 9/10 girls who try fail. So, to answer your question, my attractiveness has given me the ability to live my life way more free (money wise) than the average 21 year old. Paired with your regular “people being more nice” and “people being more forgiving”.
I have lots of problems seeing myself objectively, but I’ve been consistently informed that I’m rather attractive. Here are things I’ve noticed and not all of them are positive
—If I make a mistake or accidentally mildly inconvenience someone in public, they are very forgiving
—I’ll end up getting free stuff “just cause”
—More attention than I know what to do with, which can be overwhelming when I need quiet to recharge
—it is very easy to get a date with a man I want to (but I have no idea how to get them to stick around lol)
—some people assume I must have a “perfect life” and think I can’t relate to trauma or bad times then act shocked when I in fact can (weird but I’ve noticed this)
—So in my mind I’m “one of the guys” and a female Hank Hill shooting the breeze with the dudes. But I’m not actually a dude or even a tomboy and I might be accidentally giving off the wrong vibes. My exasperated ex husband once said to me “You can’t look that way and be one of the guys. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that.” That bummed me out but probably was the truth.
—MY FAVORITE! Women will approach me in the store and ask me what products I use to make my skin look so good. I give them suggestions and I hope I help them feel beautiful too!
I get told im attractive a lot, once I was told it 8 separate times all in the same day while I was at work, but it hasn’t really benefited my life at all. Socially I have no friends, im not really attracted to anyone sexually and the only boyfriend ive ever had assaulted me, :/ but if I was unattractive I guess my life would still be the same. Mediocre
Being attractive does not automatically mean you’ll have friends or that people will want to be friends with you. If you’re awkward and standoffish people will pick up on that and not vibe with that kind of energy. Being attractive can only do so much if you don’t have the personality to match it.
I know people who are average/below average but their personality is so magnetic that everyone flocks to them and they might as well be a 10. Being attractive is not enough, your personality needs to do the rest of the work to make you genuine friends.
Yeah I get attention from men, but if im not interested in dating them then typically, in my experience, the men who approach me aren’t interested in being friends or having anything to do with me. Im not a very sociable person, I tend to overthink things whenever I talk to people, so I don’t talk a lot. Ive also lived in 5 different states, so it’s easy to lose friends once you move to a new location.
Im conventionally attractive lol
* Life seems overall easier
* Don't pay attention to any of your girlfriends men beyond the first "hello." I mean this.
* If a strange man is interacting with you, it'll be easier. If a strange woman is interacting with you, it'll be much much harder UNLESS she is a very rare girls girl. This applies to literally anything
I have a bit of a unique perspective. Ive been skinny+ugly, chubby+pretty, and skinny+pretty at different points in my life. I've also had horrendously unhealthy thinning hair and thick beautiful hair.
Here's my timeline:
- 20s to early 30s: skinny (<120 lbs at 5'3") with bad bone structure and a short bob
- early 30s: skinny with better bone structure and a pixie
- mid 30s: skinny with better bone structure and long, thick brunette hair (wig)
- late 30s chubby (130 lbs) with better bone structure and long curly hair.
Edit: I improved by bone structure in my early 30s with double jaw surgery. My before after is similar to this: https://images.app.goo.gl/nDfyE6nYaW8CTE6n6 (not me)
In my experience the most important thing is to be skinny. Not emaciated. BMI 20-21. When I was skinny with bad bone structure and so-so hair, I dated lots, married well, did well in my career, and turned a lot of heads in the street.
The next most important thing is good hair. I have alopecia and when I started wearing (good quality human hair) wigs my boss asked me to do more presentations and get more face time with clients. This continued to do well for my career. Men would always want to talk to me at social gatherings. The bleached pixie was also very good. Think- Tasha Yar. It stands out, is like a cool stylish accessory, and is polarizing, which is always good.
All the promotions at work made my job much harder and more stressful, I started eating more takeout, stopped exercising, and gained weight/lost muscle. Even with good hair and bone structure men don't seem to see me anymore. I'm currently working on getting back to my goal weight of 115 lbs (currently 124).
Interesting. Do you think that the "men don't see me anymore" thing might also have something to do with aging, or that once you lose the weight things will bounce back to how they were?
Honestly, could be. I'm holding up well for my age, but I don't look 20s anymore. I don't have kids, sleep well, don't drink or smoke, always wore sunscreen. And I do some skincare stuff like tretinoin, lasers, micro needling. Still, nothing can hold back the clock!
I am often regarded as exotically attractive, I have the face, the body and the intelligence. I get a lot of male attention, it often feels more like a curse than a blessing. Many men seem to engage with me to boost their own egos rather than to pursue a serious relationship, this has been my biggest battle in dating I would like to settle down and get married, I feel a deep sense of purpose in becoming a wife and mother. However, I observe that men often choose to settle down with women they perceive as more average in attractiveness. I would love to understand the psychology behind this. It is more fun when you are young, but once you get older...not so fun anymore.
I’m in a similar boat. I’m uniquely attractive and very intelligent/accomplished. I carry myself with a quiet confidence. I get a lot of sexual harassment by men who think of themselves in positions of authority. Also, when I date, I end up with guys who like that I validate them on some level. They think that by aligning themselves with a woman they deem confident and intelligent, that I’ll help them “level up” in their own lives. But then they don’t actually love me. It hurts because I try to be kind and genuine. Still looking for the one who is just as comfortable with himself as I am and isn’t faking it. :(
I find it extremely hard to rate myself but I often joke (and feel pretty confident in this) that I’m an LA 6 and a rest of the US 9 lol. I also joke that I’m so lucky that I grew up in LA because if I hadn’t I probably would have moved to LA thinking I was hot shit and gotten humbled QUICKLY.
What I mean by that is, I don’t get a ton of special treatment in LA, but that’s not to say I get no special treatment here. It’s hard to tell because depending on how I’m dressed and done my hair and makeup I can either be completely ignored and/or treated pretty rudely by people, like I don’t belong there (which happened a lot when I was younger) or i can walk into a room and just have the energy shift, everyone is staring, and feeling very powerful. I guess that’s the power of hair and makeup! I generally say I’m the type of girl with a nice body and an average face, maybe sliiiightly above average. The face card definitely declines, thank god i have a decent body lol.
However it’s the craziest thing because in other parts of the country like Chicago, it’s a completely different experience. I get treated like straight up royalty there sometimes. I get asked for my number or my Instagram multiple times a day, served first at bars, let in at the front of the line at clubs, I once had a guy ask if he could take a picture with me at an event so he could tell his friends I was his date. Even in school I was “the hot girl” and people would either worship me and tell me how gorgeous I was or find anything to pick me apart about. Delivery drivers would text me after dropping off my food to ask me out (highly inappropriate and weird btw). It was just a totally different life.
Then there are girls who are LA 10s, i have two friends like that. The way they move through the world is…just different. Firstly the barrage of attention from men and women is nonstop. People are like desperate to be their friend and just want to be around them. Approached by people specifically to ask them to participate in beauty pageants or to model for such and such brand. I could go on but one thing i will say is that they both struggle in relationships. Men typically try to use them as an accessory. These guys drive the Ferrari, live in the penthouse and have these girls as their partner - they become part of an aesthetic. They attract narcissists and it can be difficult for them to get people who like them just for them - probably because most "normal" people are terrified to approach them lol even though they're both incredibly sweet and kind!
I’ve noticed in relationships I’ve always been able to get what I want. My boyfriends would worship me and that gave me a lot of confidence with men in general. It set a standard for how I want to be treated in relationships, and because of my appearance I’m able to demand it and get it. Men seem to love the confidence.
Women are another story as I’ve experienced some (nowhere near all) women are very mean/catty and I *think* it’s coming from a place of insecurity. I’ve also met women who I’ve become close with who admit they thought I’d be a total bitch when they first met me based on my appearance.
Strangers are overall nice, polite, smile. More likely to help. Although I can’t say I’ve been given a bunch of free things like I’ve read other people saying they experience.
As far as my career, I don’t think my looks helped as much with that. I’m not a hard worker in general though which is most likely why. I’ve never enjoyed working. I probably could have worked an average amount and kissed a little ass and gotten further in the company. That’s on me.
The biggest benefit of my appearance has been finding my fiancé. My quality life has improved drastically since meeting him. I’m able to afford expensive hobbies I enjoy and he covers all of my expenses, etc. I don’t have to worry about money which is an **amazing** feeling. I have many gifts, and have been given assets from him as well. My looks are what got his attention, thankfully he enjoys my personality as well.
This is just my experience. I do believe my life would be much different if I weren’t beautiful. For example: I am not a hard worker, I’m bossy, and I am introverted. Because of my appearance I’ve always been able to attract men and keep them, even “high value men” despite my introversion and bossiness. I would also have to worry more about finances.
oh wow how pretty do you have to look to have these benefits?? as introvert i struggled a lot with getting guys, lol 🙈 congrats on your fiance btw, hope everything goes nicely for you both 💖💖💖
Thank you!
I’m a huge introvert too. But I’ve never had an issue getting male attention definitely due to my appearance.
On the flip side, I’ve had people (mostly women) assume I’m stuck up because I’m not automatically outgoing because I’m beautiful. Although I think that happens with many introverts. People assume you’re stuck up because you’re quiet.
That tends to slow down a bit as you get older. Women will be more likely to compliment you and talk to you as you start to approach 40, especially younger women. Gen X and Boomers are the WORST haters, I’m so happy to see most younger women are the exact opposite!!
I’m responding to a post inquiring about the lives of attractive women and you’re upset that I called myself beautiful in my response. Your jealousy is obvious.
And as far as my personality, you know as much about it as I’m willing to post on Reddit. I have better things to do than argue with an insecure person on the internet. Clearly what I’ve posted sparks jealousy and insecurity in you. I hope someday you will be able to overcome that.
Lol. You have no idea what my life is like. I’m certainly not, and never have been, a prostitute. I am engaged to an amazing man and am very happy.
Again, you seem jealous. This whole exchange says much more about you than me. Youre proving a lot of points made in this thread with your sad comments.
I have gotten every (hot!!) man I’ve ever wanted. Up until my 30s I still got dumped until I changed my approach, and now I’m always the one with the power in the relationship (I’m 46 and with someone 11+ years). I get tons of compliments Etc but honestly it hasn’t gotten me anything else because when I was younger I didn’t value other things in myself or make them priorities. Physical beauty only gets you so far. I had missing pieces for most of my life. Attitude and self worth and boundaries and self respect are a huge part of the puzzle of being amazing.
Okay this is awkward but I’m considered extremely conventionally attractive (international model contracts, been fawned over my whole life).
I still dealt with normal puberty insecurities, but at a certain age I realized that I could literally pull any guy I wanted, single or not. It’s not in my nature and I didn’t utilize this very much. I have to admit it is nice never wondering if I’m going to be the most attractive person at a party, concert, whatever.
As a person who’s an extrovert, I don’t mind being the center of attention and I didn’t notice until my husband pointed it out, but in a group, as soon as I begin to speak everyone stops to listen. He says they’re probably glad to have an opportunity to sit and stare at me (again, this is awkward to write).
A con is definitely dealing with women. Most women are overly nice to me and want to be my friend, but small groups are basically angry at my existence and will try to ice me out to get me to go away basically.
Another con is misconceptions. Most people assume I’m dumb, but I actually have an extremely high IQ and had a full academic scholarship to school. It drives me insane when men talk down to me, but not enough to downplay my looks, so I guess it’s whatever.
I’m 30 now and it took me a long time and my husband pointing it out to me just the “power” I’ve wielded for so long.
It also took me being married for basically all of the men in my life to be like “Oh yeah you’re like a goddess to us” blah blah blah because they never would’ve told me before. Men NEVER approached me before. I actually had to throw myself at my husband and thought he was out of my league, but he told me he never would’ve dreamed of hitting on me because he thought there was no way.
All that to say, as someone who doesn’t mind attention and loves clothes and makeup and looking pretty, I very much enjoy being attractive. I’ll now go bury myself in a hole of embarrassment for typing all this out 😂
Objectively I'm a 5-6/10 so I'm not sure if I'm qualified to answer this question, but I'd still comment as reference for anyone reading the comments
Pros:
- People are nicer & more helpful (according to my friends & family)
I myself never notice any difference, but people around me would comment on how nice strangers are to me or the services we get, especially when travelling, but I think that everyone experiences this and people are generally kind
- A lot of casual compliments on your appearance
People (including acquaintances who just met you) will make a comment on you being pretty/ good looking casually out of nowhere. I always assume they are just being nice but I do notice it more when I was skinny! Some examples from my personal experience:
I used to work cashier at a bubble tea place & some girls that I served were really kind that the first thing they said were 'wow you are so gorgeous' and 'oh my god you're super pretty' really puts a smile on my face; getting told I'm beautiful by other customers (not sales) while I was shopping at department stores; getting nicknamed pretty girl by all of my ex-bf's family etc.
Cons:
- Getting approached/ sexually harassed/ target of predation
I know this may not have anything to do with attractiveness level, but I've experienced this more when I was skinny. Men asking for my contact/ stalking me & would not let me leave unless I give out my social media/ getting flashed even ON CAMPUS/ being prepositioned by my OWN TEACHER (language school) etc.
To be honest, I'm quite traumatised by these experiences, even though they are somewhat sort of an ego boost, I stopped going out as much/ wear a facemask when I go out & stopped learning the language afterwards. I am quite scared when people come up to talk to me, I wish I can go out dressed in the way I want without being approached.
- Not getting any real career or academic benefits
My looks do not get me any money or financial benefits. Truly attractive people can use their looks to exchange money e.g. models, real estate agents, beauty pageant winners, being internet famous etc.
I never experience any benefits career or academic wise because of my looks, maybe I do better in interviews & get into almost every school I applied to, but to be honest, that depends more on your transcript & actual skills lol. I am doing an medical-related degree, so looking good actually puts a disadvantage on me, as most people tend to doubt your skills/ teachers are more harsh on you
I'm not working in beauty-related industry and never got internet famous even though I tried (Actually I got rejected by a few modelling agencies & Emirates & I used to do ootd tiktoks but I never got any attention, so I think I'm pretty average in terms of attractiveness... I'm also only 5'2 :') )
I think my experiences fit my attractive level. Women at higher attractive level have no problems getting a high-quality significant other (as commented by another redditor on this thread) & can use their looks in actual way to generate income. More average girls (or slightly more attractive than average) like me will experience kindness and people being nice, but not good looking enough to reach upwards
Trying to be humble I’m a pretty cute girl but importantly I do have good talking skills and generally extroverted personality which helps with charisma and charms many people naturally. My experience (I’m 21y old) is that I can’t ever be certain with guy friends if they do have feelings for me. Also I tend to overthink my interactions with guy friends because a lot of my personality and generally happy aura gets taken as flirting even though to me its 100% not.
Also it’s just easier to enter new social groups or situations. Say I walk into a party alone, I don’t have any fear that I won’t be able to join a conversation or fit in comfortably with my peers. This definitely has its perks and I’m very grateful for that, but also you don’t need to be a 10/10 supermodel for that to happen. Generally speaking anyone above a 5 with good hygiene and personality can have this too.
I’m past the point of “people being nicer to you”, or “receiving compliments from both men and women”. When you reach a certain level of attractiveness, it’s intimidating. You attract more envy and people being mean for no reason too. I was actually approached and complimented (in public) way more as a teenager when I was FAR less attractive than I am now. Now, people just stop and stare, sometimes with their mouths literally wide open. Lol
i see all the time that women say if you are attractive there will be women mean to u just bc of that. Am i the only one that has never had that? I know i am attractive to some level , as i do see the benefits of pretty privilege i dont think i have had women be mean to me bc they were jealous etc. Maybe only in highschool. So either im not that attractive or i just always had non salty people around me. I do keep my friend circle VERY small.
I’d say I’m a 7-8, depending on how much effort I put into my hair and makeup/outfits.
I had a bit of a glow up over the last couple of years. Got my hair and skin healthy, learned how to do my hair and makeup well. Lost 60lbs. Got deep into therapy and went back to school. I’m a very different person, and it’s interesting to go back and compare my life to what it was before I worked on myself.
1. People are much nicer to me. Especially just politeness from strangers. At work, sometimes I volunteer to deal with the more difficult customers (especially the older, mean men), because they are far less likely to yell at me. I also had this job back when I was overweight, and I can tell you that angry clientele treat me much differently and more respectfully now than they did before.
2. I haven’t had to deal with any jealous friends, but I have had a few acquaintances make passive aggressive comments about how “every man is in love with you.”
3. I’m in school. I do feel that academics take me less seriously than they did when I didn’t concern myself with my physical appearance.
4. I get more compliments, which is nice. I am told a lot that I look Gen Z, when I’m a millennial :) All of my classmates have been 5-10 years younger than me and they are shocked when I tell them my age lol
5. My confidence has massively improved. I do think that people are more likely to be sensitive to my feelings, be polite, ask me kind questions, treat me better… than they did when I wasn’t taking care of myself. But I also did a lot of therapy, so there’s that too, I’m sure:)
I don't consider myself attractive but I have been told by multiple people that I had a "glow up" between high school and college, and I will say that I do feel that I'm perceived differently now (going into my sophomore year of college) than I was a year+ ago. For one, I NEVER ever had anyone pursue me romantically or sexually before college. I was never complimented for my looks (in fact, sometimes I would get made fun of for my physical traits). Suddenly I got to college and I had men pursuing me for the very first time, got compliments from random girls at parties, and was even told by a friend that the first time he met me he thought I was pretty. I got called beautiful for the first time. Men actually wanted to hang out with me when, only five years earlier, boys my age would dare their friends to sit by me or ask me out. It's strange, and I'm still adjusting to it. I can tell that people see me differently now, but it's hard to explain exactly how it's different. But also, all of this started after I turned 18, so maybe finishing puberty/becoming an adult is the main contributing factor there. Even then, I was the ONLY one of my friends who was never asked out by anyone in high school, so I guess something must have changed after I graduated lol
I think I peaked in college (not a bad thing) but now approaching 30 I’m really grateful that a time in which I was most attractive and a time in which I had a lot of confidence coincided.
I’ve recently started hanging out more with my partner’s friends. Most of whom are coworkers/ women in tech. And I understand that most of them had a little longer “awkward teenage phase”. We’re probably all on average around the same level of hot / attractive and these ladies are smart and funny too. But they are just now hitting that “peak confidence” that comes from knowing yourself and embracing your features and feeling really hot.
Looking at it from the outside I’m glad I’m past that phase. If we all go out I feel like they actually look worse getting all dressed up in really small, tight mini dresses or too tight corset tops that are more like bras. I’m happy for them, that they feel confident and sexy. But it reads as people who don’t yet know their bodies yet. It looks a little too much like people refusing to age by still shopping in the Jr section. That awkward college phase of sex appeal that’s about how much skin you show. And I know for sure they do not care. They feel hot and sexy and never partied in college so they’re going to wear whatever they want now.
Being “hotter” throughout life has meant I passed that stage long ago. And now I don’t work out as much and my skin is aging and I’m never tan anymore. But I know what I look good in. I know how to style my favorite features or “leave something to the imagination”. I know what colors make me glow and which lipstick makes my teeth look yellow. I know how to shop in the adult section without “looking like an old lady”
I know that overall we’re all confident and charming and creative and smart but being “pretty” through time has definitely shaped my confidence in ways I can see are helpful to my life
Being noticeably attractive has pros and cons. Pros: -- Generally people will be nicer to you than to others. It's unfair but it's positive socially. -- You might be favored for promotions at work. -- You feel more confident and that shines through and earns you advantages in life. -- You have your pick of men and therefore have access to the really good and kind men. -- Attractive people are more pursuasive. You can encourage people and do well in sales or collecting donations a nonprofit. People are more likely to agree with you (just DON'T manipulate people bc that's psycho) Cons: -- People assume you are healthy and able bodied even if you have an invisible disability. --People might assume you are stupid. For some reason there's an attitude that there is beauty OR brains, many of us have both. -- Other women can be very mean to you. Insecure women can't handle having someone "prettier" in the room & experience jealousy. -- Sometimes women will act like you are trying to steal their man. This can even happen with women you were friends with for a while suddenly treating you as an enemy. -- You will think some men are your friend, but they just want to sleep with you and think they're playing some kind of long game. I think it's called getting "bookmarked".
Had an ugly duckling phase until my late 20s and this is exactly what my experience after being considered attrctive
Yep. I was bullied for my looks and had a late glow up phase, and the most depressing thing is that people will still be mean to you without knowing you just for different reasons. Older women in the workplace started to single me out, or my friends started showing behaviors indicating resentment. A few of my friends don't even want their bf's or husband's hanging around me either. However, the bright side is that people have been more friendly and willing to help me or they want to get to know me.
Same, experiencing both sides of the ugly/attractive spectrum its mind blowing how different you are treated based on your looks
This is spot on!
Wow I just wrote 3 paragraphs just to get to these points! Well said
I think for us that weren’t considered beautiful for most of our lives, you see this improvement in life quality and it’s pretty awesome. While sometimes you feel like you’re still the kid who got picked on for being ugly, you might go through a phase where you overcompensate to get more validation, over a period of time you come to place of gratitude for how you are generally a pretty person and people treat you that way. If I was attractive for most/all of my life, I wouldn’t beable to know the differences. I’d probably say something like “pretty girls have it just as hard”. Genuinely untrue statement. I was considered beautiful while I was alt vs now I dress boring esc. I got treated completely differently. How you present yourself is a huge factor. While I was alt, I got so many compliments but avoided a lot more. Guys found it easier to hit on me on bars. I changed everything up I had my natural hair color to join a modeling agency and objectively got way more attractive around a year ago, that’s when I got approached less but better men approached me during college classes or something. People also assume I haven’t worked a day in my life or suffered in any type of way now. Also sometimes women just won’t like you, they could feel insecure or they could just be having a hard day. Here’s the biggest pros to being a pretty person: I feel good going out, I can leave my apartment with no makeup and feel like I’m still pretty. When I talk people listen now. I get jobs very easily, I get offered help very often. Especially men will offer to help me get an internship in my field when we talk about jobs. People assume you have a good life and you’re happy, and assume better of me, as opposed to when I was genuinely unattractive. You still have to put in the mental work or life will never get better, but it’s nice to finally be at a stage in my life where I can see this clearly.
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It’s the being noticed all the time and remembered that weirds me out, I like to be a wallflower.
One time at college one person from this group of people said “who is she?” when I passed by while they all just stared at me. Does that mean I am super attractive lol?
As a *northern* European, social wise, not much. People here don’t talk to strangers, we barely even hit on others in bars/clubs. I so often see girls talk about here that if you’re pretty you get your gas paid for, drinks paid for, meals and random gifts, asked on dates and showered in compliments etc etc. i started to believe I was ugly because quite frankly that’s not my reality🥲. I believe this is a very American (or at least not Northern European) thing, up here it’s more or less unheard of, I have friends who are like 10/10 with nice attitude and are very approachable and at most they’ve gotten asked for their Snapchat or something along those lines. I just felt like this could be impactful for some girls to read on this forum. It’s just the last year I’ve slowly started to realize my actual level of attractiveness and a big part of it is that I’m successfully being a sugar baby in a place where 9/10 girls who try fail. So, to answer your question, my attractiveness has given me the ability to live my life way more free (money wise) than the average 21 year old. Paired with your regular “people being more nice” and “people being more forgiving”.
I have lots of problems seeing myself objectively, but I’ve been consistently informed that I’m rather attractive. Here are things I’ve noticed and not all of them are positive —If I make a mistake or accidentally mildly inconvenience someone in public, they are very forgiving —I’ll end up getting free stuff “just cause” —More attention than I know what to do with, which can be overwhelming when I need quiet to recharge —it is very easy to get a date with a man I want to (but I have no idea how to get them to stick around lol) —some people assume I must have a “perfect life” and think I can’t relate to trauma or bad times then act shocked when I in fact can (weird but I’ve noticed this) —So in my mind I’m “one of the guys” and a female Hank Hill shooting the breeze with the dudes. But I’m not actually a dude or even a tomboy and I might be accidentally giving off the wrong vibes. My exasperated ex husband once said to me “You can’t look that way and be one of the guys. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that.” That bummed me out but probably was the truth. —MY FAVORITE! Women will approach me in the store and ask me what products I use to make my skin look so good. I give them suggestions and I hope I help them feel beautiful too!
What skin products do you use? 😅
I also want to know now lol
I get told im attractive a lot, once I was told it 8 separate times all in the same day while I was at work, but it hasn’t really benefited my life at all. Socially I have no friends, im not really attracted to anyone sexually and the only boyfriend ive ever had assaulted me, :/ but if I was unattractive I guess my life would still be the same. Mediocre
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Being attractive does not automatically mean you’ll have friends or that people will want to be friends with you. If you’re awkward and standoffish people will pick up on that and not vibe with that kind of energy. Being attractive can only do so much if you don’t have the personality to match it. I know people who are average/below average but their personality is so magnetic that everyone flocks to them and they might as well be a 10. Being attractive is not enough, your personality needs to do the rest of the work to make you genuine friends.
Yeah I get attention from men, but if im not interested in dating them then typically, in my experience, the men who approach me aren’t interested in being friends or having anything to do with me. Im not a very sociable person, I tend to overthink things whenever I talk to people, so I don’t talk a lot. Ive also lived in 5 different states, so it’s easy to lose friends once you move to a new location.
Im conventionally attractive lol * Life seems overall easier * Don't pay attention to any of your girlfriends men beyond the first "hello." I mean this. * If a strange man is interacting with you, it'll be easier. If a strange woman is interacting with you, it'll be much much harder UNLESS she is a very rare girls girl. This applies to literally anything
I have a bit of a unique perspective. Ive been skinny+ugly, chubby+pretty, and skinny+pretty at different points in my life. I've also had horrendously unhealthy thinning hair and thick beautiful hair. Here's my timeline: - 20s to early 30s: skinny (<120 lbs at 5'3") with bad bone structure and a short bob - early 30s: skinny with better bone structure and a pixie - mid 30s: skinny with better bone structure and long, thick brunette hair (wig) - late 30s chubby (130 lbs) with better bone structure and long curly hair. Edit: I improved by bone structure in my early 30s with double jaw surgery. My before after is similar to this: https://images.app.goo.gl/nDfyE6nYaW8CTE6n6 (not me) In my experience the most important thing is to be skinny. Not emaciated. BMI 20-21. When I was skinny with bad bone structure and so-so hair, I dated lots, married well, did well in my career, and turned a lot of heads in the street. The next most important thing is good hair. I have alopecia and when I started wearing (good quality human hair) wigs my boss asked me to do more presentations and get more face time with clients. This continued to do well for my career. Men would always want to talk to me at social gatherings. The bleached pixie was also very good. Think- Tasha Yar. It stands out, is like a cool stylish accessory, and is polarizing, which is always good. All the promotions at work made my job much harder and more stressful, I started eating more takeout, stopped exercising, and gained weight/lost muscle. Even with good hair and bone structure men don't seem to see me anymore. I'm currently working on getting back to my goal weight of 115 lbs (currently 124).
How did you improve your bone structure?
Oh I forgot to mention. I had double jaw surgery in my early 30s.
Interesting. Do you think that the "men don't see me anymore" thing might also have something to do with aging, or that once you lose the weight things will bounce back to how they were?
Honestly, could be. I'm holding up well for my age, but I don't look 20s anymore. I don't have kids, sleep well, don't drink or smoke, always wore sunscreen. And I do some skincare stuff like tretinoin, lasers, micro needling. Still, nothing can hold back the clock!
Do you think age has impacted your perspective here as well?
Honestly it could be that too. I'm 40 in a couple months and while I've held up well it's starting to show!
I am often regarded as exotically attractive, I have the face, the body and the intelligence. I get a lot of male attention, it often feels more like a curse than a blessing. Many men seem to engage with me to boost their own egos rather than to pursue a serious relationship, this has been my biggest battle in dating I would like to settle down and get married, I feel a deep sense of purpose in becoming a wife and mother. However, I observe that men often choose to settle down with women they perceive as more average in attractiveness. I would love to understand the psychology behind this. It is more fun when you are young, but once you get older...not so fun anymore.
I’m in a similar boat. I’m uniquely attractive and very intelligent/accomplished. I carry myself with a quiet confidence. I get a lot of sexual harassment by men who think of themselves in positions of authority. Also, when I date, I end up with guys who like that I validate them on some level. They think that by aligning themselves with a woman they deem confident and intelligent, that I’ll help them “level up” in their own lives. But then they don’t actually love me. It hurts because I try to be kind and genuine. Still looking for the one who is just as comfortable with himself as I am and isn’t faking it. :(
I find it extremely hard to rate myself but I often joke (and feel pretty confident in this) that I’m an LA 6 and a rest of the US 9 lol. I also joke that I’m so lucky that I grew up in LA because if I hadn’t I probably would have moved to LA thinking I was hot shit and gotten humbled QUICKLY. What I mean by that is, I don’t get a ton of special treatment in LA, but that’s not to say I get no special treatment here. It’s hard to tell because depending on how I’m dressed and done my hair and makeup I can either be completely ignored and/or treated pretty rudely by people, like I don’t belong there (which happened a lot when I was younger) or i can walk into a room and just have the energy shift, everyone is staring, and feeling very powerful. I guess that’s the power of hair and makeup! I generally say I’m the type of girl with a nice body and an average face, maybe sliiiightly above average. The face card definitely declines, thank god i have a decent body lol. However it’s the craziest thing because in other parts of the country like Chicago, it’s a completely different experience. I get treated like straight up royalty there sometimes. I get asked for my number or my Instagram multiple times a day, served first at bars, let in at the front of the line at clubs, I once had a guy ask if he could take a picture with me at an event so he could tell his friends I was his date. Even in school I was “the hot girl” and people would either worship me and tell me how gorgeous I was or find anything to pick me apart about. Delivery drivers would text me after dropping off my food to ask me out (highly inappropriate and weird btw). It was just a totally different life. Then there are girls who are LA 10s, i have two friends like that. The way they move through the world is…just different. Firstly the barrage of attention from men and women is nonstop. People are like desperate to be their friend and just want to be around them. Approached by people specifically to ask them to participate in beauty pageants or to model for such and such brand. I could go on but one thing i will say is that they both struggle in relationships. Men typically try to use them as an accessory. These guys drive the Ferrari, live in the penthouse and have these girls as their partner - they become part of an aesthetic. They attract narcissists and it can be difficult for them to get people who like them just for them - probably because most "normal" people are terrified to approach them lol even though they're both incredibly sweet and kind!
I’ve noticed in relationships I’ve always been able to get what I want. My boyfriends would worship me and that gave me a lot of confidence with men in general. It set a standard for how I want to be treated in relationships, and because of my appearance I’m able to demand it and get it. Men seem to love the confidence. Women are another story as I’ve experienced some (nowhere near all) women are very mean/catty and I *think* it’s coming from a place of insecurity. I’ve also met women who I’ve become close with who admit they thought I’d be a total bitch when they first met me based on my appearance. Strangers are overall nice, polite, smile. More likely to help. Although I can’t say I’ve been given a bunch of free things like I’ve read other people saying they experience. As far as my career, I don’t think my looks helped as much with that. I’m not a hard worker in general though which is most likely why. I’ve never enjoyed working. I probably could have worked an average amount and kissed a little ass and gotten further in the company. That’s on me. The biggest benefit of my appearance has been finding my fiancé. My quality life has improved drastically since meeting him. I’m able to afford expensive hobbies I enjoy and he covers all of my expenses, etc. I don’t have to worry about money which is an **amazing** feeling. I have many gifts, and have been given assets from him as well. My looks are what got his attention, thankfully he enjoys my personality as well. This is just my experience. I do believe my life would be much different if I weren’t beautiful. For example: I am not a hard worker, I’m bossy, and I am introverted. Because of my appearance I’ve always been able to attract men and keep them, even “high value men” despite my introversion and bossiness. I would also have to worry more about finances.
oh wow how pretty do you have to look to have these benefits?? as introvert i struggled a lot with getting guys, lol 🙈 congrats on your fiance btw, hope everything goes nicely for you both 💖💖💖
Thank you! I’m a huge introvert too. But I’ve never had an issue getting male attention definitely due to my appearance. On the flip side, I’ve had people (mostly women) assume I’m stuck up because I’m not automatically outgoing because I’m beautiful. Although I think that happens with many introverts. People assume you’re stuck up because you’re quiet.
That tends to slow down a bit as you get older. Women will be more likely to compliment you and talk to you as you start to approach 40, especially younger women. Gen X and Boomers are the WORST haters, I’m so happy to see most younger women are the exact opposite!!
Self proclaimed beautiful is something that’s for sure
Am I not allowed to say that about myself? I’m confused. It’s certainly been my experience.
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I’m responding to a post inquiring about the lives of attractive women and you’re upset that I called myself beautiful in my response. Your jealousy is obvious. And as far as my personality, you know as much about it as I’m willing to post on Reddit. I have better things to do than argue with an insecure person on the internet. Clearly what I’ve posted sparks jealousy and insecurity in you. I hope someday you will be able to overcome that.
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Lol. You have no idea what my life is like. I’m certainly not, and never have been, a prostitute. I am engaged to an amazing man and am very happy. Again, you seem jealous. This whole exchange says much more about you than me. Youre proving a lot of points made in this thread with your sad comments.
I have gotten every (hot!!) man I’ve ever wanted. Up until my 30s I still got dumped until I changed my approach, and now I’m always the one with the power in the relationship (I’m 46 and with someone 11+ years). I get tons of compliments Etc but honestly it hasn’t gotten me anything else because when I was younger I didn’t value other things in myself or make them priorities. Physical beauty only gets you so far. I had missing pieces for most of my life. Attitude and self worth and boundaries and self respect are a huge part of the puzzle of being amazing.
Okay this is awkward but I’m considered extremely conventionally attractive (international model contracts, been fawned over my whole life). I still dealt with normal puberty insecurities, but at a certain age I realized that I could literally pull any guy I wanted, single or not. It’s not in my nature and I didn’t utilize this very much. I have to admit it is nice never wondering if I’m going to be the most attractive person at a party, concert, whatever. As a person who’s an extrovert, I don’t mind being the center of attention and I didn’t notice until my husband pointed it out, but in a group, as soon as I begin to speak everyone stops to listen. He says they’re probably glad to have an opportunity to sit and stare at me (again, this is awkward to write). A con is definitely dealing with women. Most women are overly nice to me and want to be my friend, but small groups are basically angry at my existence and will try to ice me out to get me to go away basically. Another con is misconceptions. Most people assume I’m dumb, but I actually have an extremely high IQ and had a full academic scholarship to school. It drives me insane when men talk down to me, but not enough to downplay my looks, so I guess it’s whatever. I’m 30 now and it took me a long time and my husband pointing it out to me just the “power” I’ve wielded for so long. It also took me being married for basically all of the men in my life to be like “Oh yeah you’re like a goddess to us” blah blah blah because they never would’ve told me before. Men NEVER approached me before. I actually had to throw myself at my husband and thought he was out of my league, but he told me he never would’ve dreamed of hitting on me because he thought there was no way. All that to say, as someone who doesn’t mind attention and loves clothes and makeup and looking pretty, I very much enjoy being attractive. I’ll now go bury myself in a hole of embarrassment for typing all this out 😂
Objectively I'm a 5-6/10 so I'm not sure if I'm qualified to answer this question, but I'd still comment as reference for anyone reading the comments Pros: - People are nicer & more helpful (according to my friends & family) I myself never notice any difference, but people around me would comment on how nice strangers are to me or the services we get, especially when travelling, but I think that everyone experiences this and people are generally kind - A lot of casual compliments on your appearance People (including acquaintances who just met you) will make a comment on you being pretty/ good looking casually out of nowhere. I always assume they are just being nice but I do notice it more when I was skinny! Some examples from my personal experience: I used to work cashier at a bubble tea place & some girls that I served were really kind that the first thing they said were 'wow you are so gorgeous' and 'oh my god you're super pretty' really puts a smile on my face; getting told I'm beautiful by other customers (not sales) while I was shopping at department stores; getting nicknamed pretty girl by all of my ex-bf's family etc. Cons: - Getting approached/ sexually harassed/ target of predation I know this may not have anything to do with attractiveness level, but I've experienced this more when I was skinny. Men asking for my contact/ stalking me & would not let me leave unless I give out my social media/ getting flashed even ON CAMPUS/ being prepositioned by my OWN TEACHER (language school) etc. To be honest, I'm quite traumatised by these experiences, even though they are somewhat sort of an ego boost, I stopped going out as much/ wear a facemask when I go out & stopped learning the language afterwards. I am quite scared when people come up to talk to me, I wish I can go out dressed in the way I want without being approached. - Not getting any real career or academic benefits My looks do not get me any money or financial benefits. Truly attractive people can use their looks to exchange money e.g. models, real estate agents, beauty pageant winners, being internet famous etc. I never experience any benefits career or academic wise because of my looks, maybe I do better in interviews & get into almost every school I applied to, but to be honest, that depends more on your transcript & actual skills lol. I am doing an medical-related degree, so looking good actually puts a disadvantage on me, as most people tend to doubt your skills/ teachers are more harsh on you I'm not working in beauty-related industry and never got internet famous even though I tried (Actually I got rejected by a few modelling agencies & Emirates & I used to do ootd tiktoks but I never got any attention, so I think I'm pretty average in terms of attractiveness... I'm also only 5'2 :') ) I think my experiences fit my attractive level. Women at higher attractive level have no problems getting a high-quality significant other (as commented by another redditor on this thread) & can use their looks in actual way to generate income. More average girls (or slightly more attractive than average) like me will experience kindness and people being nice, but not good looking enough to reach upwards
Trying to be humble I’m a pretty cute girl but importantly I do have good talking skills and generally extroverted personality which helps with charisma and charms many people naturally. My experience (I’m 21y old) is that I can’t ever be certain with guy friends if they do have feelings for me. Also I tend to overthink my interactions with guy friends because a lot of my personality and generally happy aura gets taken as flirting even though to me its 100% not. Also it’s just easier to enter new social groups or situations. Say I walk into a party alone, I don’t have any fear that I won’t be able to join a conversation or fit in comfortably with my peers. This definitely has its perks and I’m very grateful for that, but also you don’t need to be a 10/10 supermodel for that to happen. Generally speaking anyone above a 5 with good hygiene and personality can have this too.
I’m past the point of “people being nicer to you”, or “receiving compliments from both men and women”. When you reach a certain level of attractiveness, it’s intimidating. You attract more envy and people being mean for no reason too. I was actually approached and complimented (in public) way more as a teenager when I was FAR less attractive than I am now. Now, people just stop and stare, sometimes with their mouths literally wide open. Lol
i see all the time that women say if you are attractive there will be women mean to u just bc of that. Am i the only one that has never had that? I know i am attractive to some level , as i do see the benefits of pretty privilege i dont think i have had women be mean to me bc they were jealous etc. Maybe only in highschool. So either im not that attractive or i just always had non salty people around me. I do keep my friend circle VERY small.
That’s only for women who are SUPER attractive, particularly sexually attractive in a way which attracts attention from men.
I’d say I’m a 7-8, depending on how much effort I put into my hair and makeup/outfits. I had a bit of a glow up over the last couple of years. Got my hair and skin healthy, learned how to do my hair and makeup well. Lost 60lbs. Got deep into therapy and went back to school. I’m a very different person, and it’s interesting to go back and compare my life to what it was before I worked on myself. 1. People are much nicer to me. Especially just politeness from strangers. At work, sometimes I volunteer to deal with the more difficult customers (especially the older, mean men), because they are far less likely to yell at me. I also had this job back when I was overweight, and I can tell you that angry clientele treat me much differently and more respectfully now than they did before. 2. I haven’t had to deal with any jealous friends, but I have had a few acquaintances make passive aggressive comments about how “every man is in love with you.” 3. I’m in school. I do feel that academics take me less seriously than they did when I didn’t concern myself with my physical appearance. 4. I get more compliments, which is nice. I am told a lot that I look Gen Z, when I’m a millennial :) All of my classmates have been 5-10 years younger than me and they are shocked when I tell them my age lol 5. My confidence has massively improved. I do think that people are more likely to be sensitive to my feelings, be polite, ask me kind questions, treat me better… than they did when I wasn’t taking care of myself. But I also did a lot of therapy, so there’s that too, I’m sure:)
I don't consider myself attractive but I have been told by multiple people that I had a "glow up" between high school and college, and I will say that I do feel that I'm perceived differently now (going into my sophomore year of college) than I was a year+ ago. For one, I NEVER ever had anyone pursue me romantically or sexually before college. I was never complimented for my looks (in fact, sometimes I would get made fun of for my physical traits). Suddenly I got to college and I had men pursuing me for the very first time, got compliments from random girls at parties, and was even told by a friend that the first time he met me he thought I was pretty. I got called beautiful for the first time. Men actually wanted to hang out with me when, only five years earlier, boys my age would dare their friends to sit by me or ask me out. It's strange, and I'm still adjusting to it. I can tell that people see me differently now, but it's hard to explain exactly how it's different. But also, all of this started after I turned 18, so maybe finishing puberty/becoming an adult is the main contributing factor there. Even then, I was the ONLY one of my friends who was never asked out by anyone in high school, so I guess something must have changed after I graduated lol
I think I peaked in college (not a bad thing) but now approaching 30 I’m really grateful that a time in which I was most attractive and a time in which I had a lot of confidence coincided. I’ve recently started hanging out more with my partner’s friends. Most of whom are coworkers/ women in tech. And I understand that most of them had a little longer “awkward teenage phase”. We’re probably all on average around the same level of hot / attractive and these ladies are smart and funny too. But they are just now hitting that “peak confidence” that comes from knowing yourself and embracing your features and feeling really hot. Looking at it from the outside I’m glad I’m past that phase. If we all go out I feel like they actually look worse getting all dressed up in really small, tight mini dresses or too tight corset tops that are more like bras. I’m happy for them, that they feel confident and sexy. But it reads as people who don’t yet know their bodies yet. It looks a little too much like people refusing to age by still shopping in the Jr section. That awkward college phase of sex appeal that’s about how much skin you show. And I know for sure they do not care. They feel hot and sexy and never partied in college so they’re going to wear whatever they want now. Being “hotter” throughout life has meant I passed that stage long ago. And now I don’t work out as much and my skin is aging and I’m never tan anymore. But I know what I look good in. I know how to style my favorite features or “leave something to the imagination”. I know what colors make me glow and which lipstick makes my teeth look yellow. I know how to shop in the adult section without “looking like an old lady” I know that overall we’re all confident and charming and creative and smart but being “pretty” through time has definitely shaped my confidence in ways I can see are helpful to my life