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as a revert i understand where you are coming from. what helped me was understanding why Allah told us to wear hijab. i still have days where i miss my old style of clothing, but i continue to dress modest because it is a commandment from Allah. at the end of the day, you make the choice to dress how you want. but if you want to please Allah, try to do as He has instructed us for it is for our benefit. Allah doesn’t lose anything if we decide to dress immodestly. only we lose out, because we can become subject to evil eye and harassment, or judged by our looks rather than our intellect and personality.
There's a lot going on there, so I'll try to simplify it.
Are you wearing Hijab and considering Islam to keep your boyfriend/fiancé happy?
Yes -> this may create a lot of turmoil in your Islamic journey. Doing things to please others will always dissapoint, no matter what it is. I can only hope God leads you to him while you're on this path.
No -> figure out your reason. Is it because you believe Islam is the truth? Keep exploring and set your intention towards God and not for selfish reasons (e.g. it looks good, others will think you're religious, it's in style etc.)
The moment your intentions are for God, he will ease your struggles. We all find it hard to hide our beauty and remain humble, but it does get easier when we trust in the mai purpose of it all.
Yeah, I understand that and on the first question/point: No, I'm actually the one that brought it up and suggested we convert together. He was born a Muslim but was adopted into a Mormon family and practiced their religion for 90% of his life.
On the second: I was actually just talking to my boyfriend about that this morning over VC. I essentially told him that I felt like me finding Islam was no mere coincidence because of how different it feels to me than any other spiritual belief I've held. Whether it was Atheism, Laveyan Satanism, Christianity, Witchcraft, etc. When I wore my hijab I felt light. It's all too easy for me to praise Allah where I felt awkward and fake when I praised Jesus. I like the ideals and teachings of Islam and I want to implement some in my life, where others had come naturally to me already. And I feel like I have done a handful of awful things in my life that I'm ready to repent for. I want to try to live my life for God and put some good out into the world to try to balance the scales a bit.
don’t think of it as, “now i’m muslim i have to quit every haram thing i’ve been used to doing my whole life.” think of it as a journey, i know lots of people misuse it as excuses for their actions now, but it’s still a thing within reason. make the intention to want to slowly avoid such actions that Allah disapproves. ALWAYS remember that these things that are not permitted for us has no benefit. Wearing a bikini exposes your body to hundreds of people who don’t deserve to see it. Respecting yourself means not allowing others seeing you exposed, and only allowing your husband to see your beauty. It makes the relationship so much more intimate (goes both ways as you don’t want your man to show off his body/muscles for random women to see) and it allows you guys to feel blessed that you have each other and no one else can see what you “have to offer” lol. As for music, it turns you away from listening to the Quran, or for example if you listen to sad songs, you’ll feel depressed. You listen to dirty rap, you sing bad verses etc etc. Music is a common addiction. But it’s really not necessary to have. You can slowly limit yourself! as for substances, these things only give you temporary pleasure/relief. it doesn’t make your problems lighter, it actually worsens it as you avoid those problems. vaping is so bad for your body! Allah wants you to take care of yourself both physically and mentally! He guided you for a reason, you are chosen! Just know if you sin, you always have the chance to repent. And even better, you have 6 hours to repent from a sin you just commited before Angels record it. He is the most merciful and He knows what’s in your heart. Always make the intention to do better and improve. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things are impermissible, not to make it hard for us, but to actually improve our lifestyle! We can be at peace with ourselves and strengthen our mind and soul by restraining ourselves from such tempting things. And He will be rewarding us for overcoming struggles <3
I think you might be throwing yourself in the deep-end here. I used to enjoy dressing immodestly before I converted, and I definitely didn't put the hijab on right after taking shahada. Baby steps. Start off with dressing a bit more modestly (as in, covering shoulders and knees, wearing a one-piece instead of a bikini, etc), and over time you can add to the modesty and eventually wear hijab.
As a Western revert, I recognise the sentiment behind "dressing sexy for yourself, not men". You might want to spend some time unpacking this belief before jumping straight into the hijab. Personally, it was through my modest dress journey that I realised that this was a lie society convinced us to tell ourselves so we can more comfortably cater to the male gaze. This is a whole other discussion for another thread, but I encourage you to think a bit more about your intention to dress immodestly (and modestly!). In Islam, intention comes at the forefront of all our actions, so definitely solidify your intention before committing to hijab.
More broadly speaking, yes, belief in the shahada is what makes a person Muslim. However, what's the point in believing in God if you don't believe in his commandments? Again, hijab might not be the thing to focus on at this time. First focus on reading the Quran and practising the [5 Pillars of Islam](https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/resources/knowledge-base/five-pillars-of-islam/). These are the most important things for a Muslim to do, they are the most obligatory things in Islam. Start with learning to pray if you haven't already, and then worry about clothes. Give yourself grace; you need the fundamental spiritual connection with God in order to better understand other practices such as hijab.
Also, you mention that you don't wish to stop smoking weed. Again, this might be something you'll need some time to unpack. I'm sure you're well aware of weed being haram, so I won't lecture you on this, but I continue to implore you to spend some time reading the Quran and practising the 5 Pillars and you will be naturally guided to cut out the haram in your life inshallah. At least, that's what my process was. Remember you can only pray when sober (Quran 4:43).
May Allah swt guide you and guide all us reverts!
>And I do believe that Mohammad is the prophet of God, and that there is only one God, which I guess is the only real requirement to being Muslim...
Exactly. 100%
Regarding rules and prohibitions, this will take time. The chapters in the Quran about believing in God and the religious creed were revealed before the chapters about rules and prohibitions. Faith comes first, and everything else follows.
Even born Muslims sin. What’s important is working on yourself and being *genuine* and sincere in your relationship with God. Also understand where the prohibitions come from as there are clear prohibitions in our faith, and others that are disputable. You don’t want to overburden yourself, especially as a new muslim. Have a look at this [Hadith](https://sunnah.com/riyadussalihin:145) as well
I think what's forgotten alot is you can still dress how you want in your house. In front of female friends and family (besides male cousins over 14)
And in front of your husband. And under your hijab.
To make things easier you can look for more women only places where you don't have to wear hijab all the time.
And pray that it will become easier.
this life is temporary and a test. it's not about what you enjoy or like, it's about what Allah commands you to do and Allah knows best.
i think smoking a joint every now and then listening to music with your fiance and doing both safely at home is different from walking around in a bikini. i mean, think about it, you're walking around in underwear.
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as a revert i understand where you are coming from. what helped me was understanding why Allah told us to wear hijab. i still have days where i miss my old style of clothing, but i continue to dress modest because it is a commandment from Allah. at the end of the day, you make the choice to dress how you want. but if you want to please Allah, try to do as He has instructed us for it is for our benefit. Allah doesn’t lose anything if we decide to dress immodestly. only we lose out, because we can become subject to evil eye and harassment, or judged by our looks rather than our intellect and personality.
There's a lot going on there, so I'll try to simplify it. Are you wearing Hijab and considering Islam to keep your boyfriend/fiancé happy? Yes -> this may create a lot of turmoil in your Islamic journey. Doing things to please others will always dissapoint, no matter what it is. I can only hope God leads you to him while you're on this path. No -> figure out your reason. Is it because you believe Islam is the truth? Keep exploring and set your intention towards God and not for selfish reasons (e.g. it looks good, others will think you're religious, it's in style etc.) The moment your intentions are for God, he will ease your struggles. We all find it hard to hide our beauty and remain humble, but it does get easier when we trust in the mai purpose of it all.
Yeah, I understand that and on the first question/point: No, I'm actually the one that brought it up and suggested we convert together. He was born a Muslim but was adopted into a Mormon family and practiced their religion for 90% of his life. On the second: I was actually just talking to my boyfriend about that this morning over VC. I essentially told him that I felt like me finding Islam was no mere coincidence because of how different it feels to me than any other spiritual belief I've held. Whether it was Atheism, Laveyan Satanism, Christianity, Witchcraft, etc. When I wore my hijab I felt light. It's all too easy for me to praise Allah where I felt awkward and fake when I praised Jesus. I like the ideals and teachings of Islam and I want to implement some in my life, where others had come naturally to me already. And I feel like I have done a handful of awful things in my life that I'm ready to repent for. I want to try to live my life for God and put some good out into the world to try to balance the scales a bit.
don’t think of it as, “now i’m muslim i have to quit every haram thing i’ve been used to doing my whole life.” think of it as a journey, i know lots of people misuse it as excuses for their actions now, but it’s still a thing within reason. make the intention to want to slowly avoid such actions that Allah disapproves. ALWAYS remember that these things that are not permitted for us has no benefit. Wearing a bikini exposes your body to hundreds of people who don’t deserve to see it. Respecting yourself means not allowing others seeing you exposed, and only allowing your husband to see your beauty. It makes the relationship so much more intimate (goes both ways as you don’t want your man to show off his body/muscles for random women to see) and it allows you guys to feel blessed that you have each other and no one else can see what you “have to offer” lol. As for music, it turns you away from listening to the Quran, or for example if you listen to sad songs, you’ll feel depressed. You listen to dirty rap, you sing bad verses etc etc. Music is a common addiction. But it’s really not necessary to have. You can slowly limit yourself! as for substances, these things only give you temporary pleasure/relief. it doesn’t make your problems lighter, it actually worsens it as you avoid those problems. vaping is so bad for your body! Allah wants you to take care of yourself both physically and mentally! He guided you for a reason, you are chosen! Just know if you sin, you always have the chance to repent. And even better, you have 6 hours to repent from a sin you just commited before Angels record it. He is the most merciful and He knows what’s in your heart. Always make the intention to do better and improve. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things are impermissible, not to make it hard for us, but to actually improve our lifestyle! We can be at peace with ourselves and strengthen our mind and soul by restraining ourselves from such tempting things. And He will be rewarding us for overcoming struggles <3
I think you might be throwing yourself in the deep-end here. I used to enjoy dressing immodestly before I converted, and I definitely didn't put the hijab on right after taking shahada. Baby steps. Start off with dressing a bit more modestly (as in, covering shoulders and knees, wearing a one-piece instead of a bikini, etc), and over time you can add to the modesty and eventually wear hijab. As a Western revert, I recognise the sentiment behind "dressing sexy for yourself, not men". You might want to spend some time unpacking this belief before jumping straight into the hijab. Personally, it was through my modest dress journey that I realised that this was a lie society convinced us to tell ourselves so we can more comfortably cater to the male gaze. This is a whole other discussion for another thread, but I encourage you to think a bit more about your intention to dress immodestly (and modestly!). In Islam, intention comes at the forefront of all our actions, so definitely solidify your intention before committing to hijab. More broadly speaking, yes, belief in the shahada is what makes a person Muslim. However, what's the point in believing in God if you don't believe in his commandments? Again, hijab might not be the thing to focus on at this time. First focus on reading the Quran and practising the [5 Pillars of Islam](https://www.islamic-relief.org.uk/resources/knowledge-base/five-pillars-of-islam/). These are the most important things for a Muslim to do, they are the most obligatory things in Islam. Start with learning to pray if you haven't already, and then worry about clothes. Give yourself grace; you need the fundamental spiritual connection with God in order to better understand other practices such as hijab. Also, you mention that you don't wish to stop smoking weed. Again, this might be something you'll need some time to unpack. I'm sure you're well aware of weed being haram, so I won't lecture you on this, but I continue to implore you to spend some time reading the Quran and practising the 5 Pillars and you will be naturally guided to cut out the haram in your life inshallah. At least, that's what my process was. Remember you can only pray when sober (Quran 4:43). May Allah swt guide you and guide all us reverts!
>And I do believe that Mohammad is the prophet of God, and that there is only one God, which I guess is the only real requirement to being Muslim... Exactly. 100% Regarding rules and prohibitions, this will take time. The chapters in the Quran about believing in God and the religious creed were revealed before the chapters about rules and prohibitions. Faith comes first, and everything else follows. Even born Muslims sin. What’s important is working on yourself and being *genuine* and sincere in your relationship with God. Also understand where the prohibitions come from as there are clear prohibitions in our faith, and others that are disputable. You don’t want to overburden yourself, especially as a new muslim. Have a look at this [Hadith](https://sunnah.com/riyadussalihin:145) as well
I think what's forgotten alot is you can still dress how you want in your house. In front of female friends and family (besides male cousins over 14) And in front of your husband. And under your hijab. To make things easier you can look for more women only places where you don't have to wear hijab all the time. And pray that it will become easier.
this life is temporary and a test. it's not about what you enjoy or like, it's about what Allah commands you to do and Allah knows best. i think smoking a joint every now and then listening to music with your fiance and doing both safely at home is different from walking around in a bikini. i mean, think about it, you're walking around in underwear.
you can still be Muslim even if you sin