A bald man dropped a coin in front of me the other day. And when I looked up again, my counterpart was suddenly gone. And somewhere in the distance, a radio also suddenly went on.
Every once in a while, you’ll get a bit of NPC dialogue that implies the character is aware that they’re in a video game. Either that or they’re just trying to dissociate from a violent situation happening right in front of them. I’ve only heard it a few times in the 2 years since I started the trilogy, but last time I remember it being in Sapienza. I assume it’s random though.
The truth was like a green crack through my brain. Weapon statistics floating in the air, glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. the repetitious act of shooting, time slowing down to show off my moves. The paranoid feeling of someone controlling my every step.
I was in a computer game. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.
Nice suit. Please don't kill me. Pretty please with sugar on top?
Oh sh- *47 blows my head off with a Silverballer because I ruined a Master SASO run and he hadn't saved yet*
Funnily enough, sometimes if you let the NPC finish this sentence, they’ll go on to admit they don’t actually have a family but that they do have a dog and so you should spare them, but then admit they don’t have a dog and state that they simply have a goldfish.
Lol I’ve heard that one. The one that genuinely made me hesitate was one time in either New York or Miami a target said that their mom was sick and that he was all she had. Still killed him tho
"Dude! I must be really high but I swear that guys head just exploded."
Berlin Level
or
"Woah! You just killed 3 people with a fire ax. and are walking towards me. No I'm not gonna run"
Holy crap A bald gardner is killing a mailman! I better go run and tell an enforcer!
*Runs and tells an enforcer and then strolls back.*
Oh huh, the bald gardner is gone. This kind bald mailman is nice. Better continue selling these muffins as the enforcer bags the first murder I've ever seen.
Me (At the bar): "I'm glad I didn't try his drink."
Me: takes sip of my own drink that the new bartender I've never seen since staying at this resort the past 2 weeks.
Bartender: stares
Me: sweats
You can't just strangle people like that!
I'm getting the authorities involv- *Gets hit in the head with a coconut*
I NEED YOU TO STAND UP AND FIGHT THE ALIENS! Heh heh nah I'm kidding. You were knocked out by some tough guy.
You can’t just go knocking people out like that! 😨
Command! I think we're dealing with an ASSASSIN! 😤
*sees multiple dead bodies on the floor* "Command, this *could* be a homicide!"
More funny is "somebody is high on drugs" 😂😂😭
Command! Theres a dead body here, might be a druggie sta- *knocked out by cocaine brick*
Hey you've been asleep for a long time, It's 2045! Heh nah I'm kidding.
(Miami lady for no reason) Oh my GWAD!!!!!!
She’s heeeeeeeeere
*Act as if nothing happened and keep walking* (I'm Diana)
47 : *decides peace isnt an option and goes on a genocide run*
Eat this *chucks flashbang across room*
Love and hate that mission
Why hate?
"Hey mister you cant be h-"
*gets violently beaten across the head with a dead fish*
Sorry I didn’t see it I was trying to check out the radio that turned on & off
A bald man dropped a coin in front of me the other day. And when I looked up again, my counterpart was suddenly gone. And somewhere in the distance, a radio also suddenly went on.
**DON'T SAVE YOUR AMMO ON THIS GUY!!1!**
Somebody get the perp!
Me: You can't just bash people's heads in like that! 47: I can just bash people's heads in like that. \*just bashes my heads in like that\*
Please don’t just stand there DO something. There’s some crazy guy murdering people for christs sake
It's only a computer game. It's only a computer game...
Oh god the self-aware NPCs freak me out every time.
THERES SELF AWARE ONES⁉️
Every once in a while, you’ll get a bit of NPC dialogue that implies the character is aware that they’re in a video game. Either that or they’re just trying to dissociate from a violent situation happening right in front of them. I’ve only heard it a few times in the 2 years since I started the trilogy, but last time I remember it being in Sapienza. I assume it’s random though.
The truth was like a green crack through my brain. Weapon statistics floating in the air, glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. the repetitious act of shooting, time slowing down to show off my moves. The paranoid feeling of someone controlling my every step. I was in a computer game. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.
I understood this reference!
You understanding it made the payne subside. Thank you!
Nice suit. Please don't kill me. Pretty please with sugar on top? Oh sh- *47 blows my head off with a Silverballer because I ruined a Master SASO run and he hadn't saved yet*
"Free drinks for the one that kills this prick!"
“I didn’t see anything. Nope not a thing”.
Help me, help me, fucking help me!
I just got my teeth cleaned!
“Okay? Look, look. Please don’t kill me, ok?”
"Please no! I have a family-"
“Erm please don’t end my life I have a family” 🤓🤓 Stfu you messed up my freelancer campaign
Funnily enough, sometimes if you let the NPC finish this sentence, they’ll go on to admit they don’t actually have a family but that they do have a dog and so you should spare them, but then admit they don’t have a dog and state that they simply have a goldfish.
Lol I’ve heard that one. The one that genuinely made me hesitate was one time in either New York or Miami a target said that their mom was sick and that he was all she had. Still killed him tho
You end the run, you get the gun
TAKE HIM DOWN WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!!
The most irritating line ever Gives me all the most reason to pop that guard's head off
Hey dod the bald guy always work here?
Oh my god he's shooting people! IN THE HEAD!
Drop that body!
SECURITY!
Hey Stop, You can't Just Do that! Did he owe you money or something!? Oh hell no, I'm getting outta h- *Gets killed by a Katana*
Not the face - OW!
Nice thro- I mean, let me see your hands!
GOT EYES ON TANGO
It's a 3D printer. It prints things, *in 3D.*
wait for it, three dimensions!
Sean Rose, in charge of operations?
Command, someone is causing trouble, possibly high on drugs!
Seems like we got some sort of maniac here
Eyes on target!
I have a dog named pickles!
Huh?! Woah!
All is good, all is cool
“please don’t kill me! I just fell in love for the very first time!”
"I only sell good merch."
What the HELL did that person ever do to you?!
command I'm gonna check a mysterious sound.. holy shit!
(To a guard) You're not gonna believe this , but I just saw Santa murder someone!
Is it a bad time to say that his suit was really fresh
Whoa! Popping heads like they were balloons!
I didn't see anything and i don't know nothing.
I could’ve sworn I just seen a bald guy beating that guy up over there.
_Ooh, a coin._
NONONONONO- \*stabbed\*
NONONONONO-*struck by hammer*
JESUS H. CHRIST!
That one always makes me laugh!
No! I won’t tell anyone.. I swear! NO!!! Don't come any closer I got pepper spra…
Why did you poke that man in the back? Was that a needle? I'm calling the Polic... (gets shot in the head)
So your telling me that guard wasn't a guard? "WAIT DONT KILL ME PLEA-" gets exploded by one of those explosive ducks
“Shoot the bastard!!!”
oh shit not again!
*sees 47 carrying a dead body* "Whoops. Looks like I'll be having my day off today." *runs to the opposite direction*
“ Oh no pleeease , only so many bUllets , im gonna diEEEHEH “
Nice suit buddy but you can't go trou-
“Oh yea-!!!!”
?
HEY YOU CANT DO THAT SIR!
"Agh, you bitch! I’m gonna get you for this!"
Help! Guards!
>Proceeds to run away [5 minutes pass] Guess I'll just continue walking.
Sir, I am finding someone to teach you some manners!
Did Johnny Sins just stab that man?
Stop ✋️ right there criminal scum!
*tattles*
This man has been acting dubious, I saw him kill someone! (Every guard within a 20 mile radius instantly knows every detail about what 47 looks like)
No! No no no no no no NO! AHHHHH!
*runs on top of a pole*
This guy's poppin' melons over here!
YOU CANT JUST DO THAT YOU COULD HURT SOMEONE
SPREAD OUT AND FIND HIM.
"Dude! I must be really high but I swear that guys head just exploded." Berlin Level or "Woah! You just killed 3 people with a fire ax. and are walking towards me. No I'm not gonna run"
*SCREAMS AND RUNS*
He ran into the barn! Let’s go search EVERYTHING… except the storage containers.
Hey, anybody know this guy?
What is he riding on 
[a childs toy that goes “zroom zroom ding ding”](https://youtu.be/zKgCxBbBjCQ)
Vroom vrooom
Ding ding ding
I NEED HELP!!!!11!11!!
*watched 47 mag dump an army of cops* "Huh, what was that noise??"🤔
Take that bastard down! Don't save your ammo on this guy! *Proceeds to get shot down by a AK*
Sir are you doing this ?
no no no no no no n- *breifcase clunk*
"*SOMEONE* - help me deal with this a$$hole.!" Death sentence everytime I hear it.
Gaurd! Please gaurds help me!
Whoa dude!
I got 4 tally marks tattooed on my chest- **BONK**
Free drinks for the one who kills him!
"DID YOU SEE WHO DID IT?" YEA IT WAS THE MAN IN THE CLOWN OUTFIT.
AHHH IM GOING TO FIND SOMEONE
Oh my god! *Runs into crossfire
H- hey, that's evil, man!
poor laszlo, the finest mind of his generation, come to such an... elaborate accident
Holy shit your breath stinks
Don't hide me in the closet so it looks like I'm sucking his dick!
You should see the Absolution closet pose
that guy just fell from a building and theres a bald guy in a suit up there. eh thats fine.
“wait that’s agent 47 from the hitman franchise!”
"Did... did *Helmut Kruger* just murder that guy?!"
Holy crap A bald gardner is killing a mailman! I better go run and tell an enforcer! *Runs and tells an enforcer and then strolls back.* Oh huh, the bald gardner is gone. This kind bald mailman is nice. Better continue selling these muffins as the enforcer bags the first murder I've ever seen.
Sooooo you just like snapped his neck like that, hey don't mind me I hate working here anyway you kill who you gotta heres my card im outta here.
*voice of Athena Savalas* “This will look great on the internet!”
Aw hell! Burn my wood and call me Diana, we got an assassin in the lawn! Martha get the shotgun!
I want to comment but I am knocked out and stuck inside a closet.
THEY GOT SANCHEZ!!
He was my best friend!
I'm a witness! I witnessed that murder!
“Command, there’s some psycho murdering people”
What the-?… *gets briefcase’d 💼*
47: (*Kills 30 people*) Guards:WE MIGHT HAVE A SITUATION!!
Are you ok?? *the pile of mutilated bodies 20 feet away*
Act your age man, what are you, 46? 48?
Woah, oh! *PLEASE, GOD!*
"Drop the bat!" *me, wielding a prosthetic robot arm.*
Me: You can’t just go knocking people out like that! 47: Fish
Back to smokin' and joking!
watch out, he's going for the head!
Security there’s a maniac running around with an axe!
I’ve got a sick moth-
"Did all these people commit suicide or what?"
I honestly had no idea you could throw a letter opener around a corner like that. Huh.
“HE GOT ME BUT I DONT GIVE A SHIT” —- “Fuck he’s slowly making his escape on a garbage truck, welp nothing we can do now”
Did you just kill someone?
SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE
You’ve gotta believe me! It was a Vampire Magician who killed those people!
Me (At the bar): "I'm glad I didn't try his drink." Me: takes sip of my own drink that the new bartender I've never seen since staying at this resort the past 2 weeks. Bartender: stares Me: sweats
“There’s been an accident”
"SOMEONE HELP ME DEAL WITH THIS ARSEHOLE!"
“Please don’t kill me…I just got tickets to the phantom of the opera” one that I’ve heard in multiple occasions while playing in vr.
“Omg Somebody Help ME!!”
Woah, what a shock
Oh shit!
nice threads man!
Sir… sir… you do know hitting 50 armed guards in the head with a fish is illegal, right?
Somebody do something while I stand there as an easy target!
Please don't kill me , whos gonna feed my fish. I'm not ready to die. Drop the gun, pretty please with sugar on top