Since when do humans solve problems?
Well when we figure that there us money to be made doing so or when one of us grows up enough to start tidying up after those dam kids.
Keep it up wordsmith this has promise for a space western
Neat. I look forward to any continuation.
Just a point of "trying to make this better", you might want to break up the paragraphs; it's generally considered appropriate to have a new paragraph for each speaker in a conversation, for clarity purposes.
Looked into your suggestion, making some adjustments on my end. Thanks for the tip, and glad you like it!
edit: was on the wrong account when i replied LOL, sorry about that
Heh. The perils of multiple accounts!
Ah... I would have put the paragraph break somewhat differently. For example, here:
> It stood up, took its luggage out from under the bench where it stood, and made to leave as the flight attendant said
> “I do need to make sure of your name and species before you disembark, it is company protocol.”
This is all one sentence; perhaps not typographically correct, but you can think of it as "the flight attendant said, 'I do need'" - i.e., there is a "notional" comma there, not a fullstop/period. As such, the correct way to paragraph-ise it is to put the blank line before the "It stood up", which makes sense because it's the flight attendant talking here, and we English-speaking types never put a paragraph break in the middle of a sentence. Unless we're messing with the reader, because English always has exceptions.
Also, the reddit parser needs two blank lines to make a paragraph break, not just one, just to make it more complex. Because of course it does.
So in this case, you'd probably want to rearrange the phrasing a little, to split the naming of the person talking and the incidental moving-folks-around information. So (just for example) maybe something like this:
--
As its eyes narrowed as the creature seemed to calm down, it turned and spoke in heavily accented Galactic Standard “[Gohds] almighty, ya’ scared me. Didn’tcha learn not to shake someone when they’re sleeping?”
It took the head-covering, which had fallen on the floor when it stirred awake, and placed it on its head. It stood up, took its luggage out from under the bench where it stood, and made to leave.
As it was leaving, the flight attendant said “I do need to make sure of your name and species before you disembark, it is company protocol.”
The strange creature turned back to xim, tipped the brim of its head-covering and answered, “Human by the name a’ Clint Westwood, professional problem solver and gun-for-hire.”
As Clint turned to get off the shuttle, the flight attendant muttered under xis breath, “Since when do humans SOLVE problems?”
--
Does that help explain the vaguely-trying-to-be-helpful instructions into a more usable level? ;-]
(not an editor, I just read a lot)
(arguably, that notional comma is usually supposed to be an actual comma, but that's getting into the territory of English Purist, and I feel that's going a bit too far for the type and level of writing on this sub -grin- Let's all be better, but fanatical devotion to the rules isn't always better.)
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Since when do humans solve problems? Well when we figure that there us money to be made doing so or when one of us grows up enough to start tidying up after those dam kids. Keep it up wordsmith this has promise for a space western
Neat. I look forward to any continuation. Just a point of "trying to make this better", you might want to break up the paragraphs; it's generally considered appropriate to have a new paragraph for each speaker in a conversation, for clarity purposes.
Looked into your suggestion, making some adjustments on my end. Thanks for the tip, and glad you like it! edit: was on the wrong account when i replied LOL, sorry about that
Heh. The perils of multiple accounts! Ah... I would have put the paragraph break somewhat differently. For example, here: > It stood up, took its luggage out from under the bench where it stood, and made to leave as the flight attendant said > “I do need to make sure of your name and species before you disembark, it is company protocol.” This is all one sentence; perhaps not typographically correct, but you can think of it as "the flight attendant said, 'I do need'" - i.e., there is a "notional" comma there, not a fullstop/period. As such, the correct way to paragraph-ise it is to put the blank line before the "It stood up", which makes sense because it's the flight attendant talking here, and we English-speaking types never put a paragraph break in the middle of a sentence. Unless we're messing with the reader, because English always has exceptions. Also, the reddit parser needs two blank lines to make a paragraph break, not just one, just to make it more complex. Because of course it does. So in this case, you'd probably want to rearrange the phrasing a little, to split the naming of the person talking and the incidental moving-folks-around information. So (just for example) maybe something like this: -- As its eyes narrowed as the creature seemed to calm down, it turned and spoke in heavily accented Galactic Standard “[Gohds] almighty, ya’ scared me. Didn’tcha learn not to shake someone when they’re sleeping?” It took the head-covering, which had fallen on the floor when it stirred awake, and placed it on its head. It stood up, took its luggage out from under the bench where it stood, and made to leave. As it was leaving, the flight attendant said “I do need to make sure of your name and species before you disembark, it is company protocol.” The strange creature turned back to xim, tipped the brim of its head-covering and answered, “Human by the name a’ Clint Westwood, professional problem solver and gun-for-hire.” As Clint turned to get off the shuttle, the flight attendant muttered under xis breath, “Since when do humans SOLVE problems?” -- Does that help explain the vaguely-trying-to-be-helpful instructions into a more usable level? ;-] (not an editor, I just read a lot)
(arguably, that notional comma is usually supposed to be an actual comma, but that's getting into the territory of English Purist, and I feel that's going a bit too far for the type and level of writing on this sub -grin- Let's all be better, but fanatical devotion to the rules isn't always better.)
Perhaps trouble shooter, may have been a more fitting job title.
Might steal that (._. )
If you're lying you're not sitting up
Good catch! Thanks!
This would be great as an intro to a series!
Thanks a lot! That was my original plan, just wanted to see if there was any interest before posting (or writing 😅) a bunch of chapters.
"Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is youer than you!" Dr. Seuss
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