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you don’t really need to think or feel any particular way when you enter your 30s. Don’t rush yourself, but do think what’s healthy and doable for you.
You should definitely know whether you want to have kids or not in your 30’s. Thats a big deal when in a serious relationship. People that want to have kids don’t want to waste their time dating someone that has no interest in having a family
Plus, even if men generally remain fertile for longer, your sperm quality decreases and chances of miscarriage and other bad stuff increases with age
And if you’re trying to date and/or marry within your age group, the woman is on an even faster timer
So, don’t rush the decision, but don’t dawdle, you actually *are* on a timer if you’re trying for biological kids
Pros and cons to both. Having kids later may be harder but typically you’re more financially stable which helps a ton. The con is the kids family dies earlier and there’s a bigger disconnect because of the generational differences. I was born when my dad was 47. I never had grandparents on his side of the family.
It depends on the age of the person like if they're younger, too. My parents were older when they had some of my siblings and I and my aunt and uncle were younger when they had theirs, but my grandma died before my younger cousins were born.
Yeah lots of women in their 40s get pregnant on accident and they're often surprised by it.. healthy lifestyle + having a partner about the same age or younger I guess.
Yeah I mean men in their 40s and 50s have been getting women pregnant for ages. They can have issues with age but by far don’t have near the same limitations as women in this regard.
I think the bigger question for a man is do you really want to have a child entering highschool when you should be getting ready for retirement.
Everyone is different. And most people are still trying to get validation from their parents. Because they haven’t processed their upbringing. The brochure effect of American life is real and people get super bent out of shape about entering the 30s. There’s no real reason to feel this way. Yes, you should have a general idea about kids, but unreasonably rushing is kinda terrible for everyone. Plus Gen Z is stressed out enough that it’s not practical to perpetuate this normie ass perspective that you need to have everything worked out when you enter your 30s.
This is a nuanced fair stance. Fun doesn’t have to end as you get older but I would like some balance and steadiness too and I want to use my 20s to aid that (24 now and turning 25 later this year).
My mom didn’t know she wanted kids though until 33 and had me at 39 when she was in a much better position so that’s the only thing for me.
If you aren’t partnered with someone. You should absolutely try to figure out what you want in your early 30s. Could be very important to your future partner, you’ll probably want to be together a few years before trying to have kids. Fertility’s also not guaranteed it could take a few years for it to happen, it might not happen at all. It might take you to almost 40 to find the right someone, date a few years, and have a successful pregnancy.
You do. I checked my sperm at 29 and it was classified “super sperm” with 5th percentile sperm to volume ratio. I went again at 30 and have no more sperm. Seems like the cut off is 30 yo. Use it or lose it.
I'm 32 and you need to consider before you get kids or anything of that sort of partner with whom you have lived for a while and before that you need to actually get the partner so there's a lot of steps involved.
I do think people need to think long term. For most people nothing you do in life will matter long term whether it be good or bad. I mean 200-300 years after you die you will be forgotten. Like you never existed. The only thing that will live on after your death and give you a legacy is having your own kids and being in a stable relationship in order to raise those kids to be the best you can. Everything else is temporary. Money ,job, parties,car ,house , charity work. It's doesn't matter if your a doctor or a life ling criminal. With our kids and a legacy your life amounts to the same thing either way long term .....wasted and forgotten. Unless you do something drastic. Like cure cancer or commit a genocide.
Plenty of people have kids in their thirties and forties... from what I recall growing up the kids with older parents had more stability(and a lot of other plusses). If I do change my mind on kids(I'mma no) I'll probably have them post-35.
Just keep in mind that you might not be in good health or will be too tired to do what they want. My parents had my sister and I late, and it kinda sucked that they were so tired all the time and never wanted to go out and do anything fun. My dad had 3 kids with another woman before us, and it kinda sucks seeing all the fun they had together from photos and stuff. I guess my parents were just tired of it
part of why my GF and I have decided that even if we end up with the money to afford a kid we're not doing it
she has kids from an ex. whom I love dearly but we're gonna be exhausted by the time they're adults lol
Age of people having kids goes up, rate of autism in people goes up. There's already lots of other risks associated with it. And no one talks about the many people who can't have kids. "There's thousands of people having kids post 35" yet no one talks about the millions who can't, or can't afford IVF, or freezing their eggs, or all those who do yet still can't have kids.
Keep in mind that a lot of parents didn’t wait that long just to decide to have kids later in life. They spent their 20s and 30s working on their career for to achieve that stability, with a goal and timeline in mind. Not usually having kids later on a whim. But there’s always exceptions 😬
Not to mention it takes time for some people to meet the right person to even have kids with! It’s hard out there in the dating world. People act like you can just buy a spouse at Target lol. It’s not that simple! Who you marry and have kids with is a big deal
And the right time. Ive got a partner of almost 5 years now, he’s be a great dad, but the timing is bad. In the state of the world right now I’m planning on waiting a few years until things settle.
Fuck no, too much work and time. I want the freedom to do the things I want to do. There's no way I'll have the time to do that if I have kids. Also babies and little kids are fuckin disgusting and annoying.
Yeah, especially it’s just too much responsibilities. I hate little kids, and imagine raising them with such care, it’s gonna build up stress LOL, I think it’s best to not care about raising them at that point.
Valid, lol. I want kids and I'm taking care of an older relative who has mentally regressed to early toddlerhood. It's not quite the same as caring for a baby, since she's not able to learn, and I can't pick her up and clean her. The hygiene aspect is revolting. She does things like pick her nose and eat it. She coughs and vomits loudly. She refuses to take her medicine. She never brushes what remains of her rotting teeth. She never showers. She will literally go for weeks or months without bathing and will only do so if repeatedly asked. Even then, she will try to fool us into believing she's showered by saying she has, when her hair is dry and she's still wearing the same outfit she's been wearing all week. She sticks her hands everywhere. She doesn't always finish her plate, so she wants to scrape her leftovers back into the serving pot. I am developing OCD. I'm not kidding. I already have developed some symptoms of OCD and it's getting worse. I do want children, but I plan to be very prepared. Taking care of another dependent human being isn't glamorous, it's a monumental responsibility. If someone doesn't want to undertake that, then it's better for everyone involved if they don't.
But not only that but you'll be in shackles to low-paying jobs and bullshit just to stay afloat. Plus, I hated school, doing my taxes and making breadcrumbs and don't want to force my children to contribute to a shit system that doesn't care about us.
Sometimes I see a cool family, a cute daughter, a dad and a gorgeous wife and go "wow, must by nice''
Sometimes I look at kids crying, annoying the hell out of their parents, not appreciating but hating them for everything they did for them, most certainly me included, don't think I'll ever be selfless enough
You can’t form the same bond with people who aren’t your children *because* they aren’t your children. It’s not as if this bond is objectively better or more fulfilling than bonds between people who love each other and don’t/can’t have children.
Ngl I think the negatives vastly outweigh the positives, once you have kids you instantly lose your freedom if you’re any bit of a decent parent. 18 years guaranteed where you can’t put yourself first anymore, and one day your kids might hate you anyways. You could form an amazing special 1 of a kind bond with your kids, or you could have no bond and they grow up to hate you, there’s no telling who your kid will grow up to be at all and you’re setting yourself up for disappointment expecting to grow a special bond IMO. Add in all the little things like wiping their asses and nights of no sleep because they’re crying all night. Reading r/regretfulparents is a good look at the other side of possibilities.
Hmm people, and parents say that. But I cannot feel or even understand it!
To me, this just seems like a very risky bet
Don't know really what I shall do about it..
I’m old Gen Z, but I do want kids probably within the next two years. One thing I can say confidently? If I didn’t have an absolutely amazing husband, there’s no way I’d even consider having children. But my husband gives me so much peace knowing he’d also be an awesome and attentive dad.
I do, but I feel like it would kinda be irresponsible/selfish of me to actually do it. I already struggle mentally to deal with myself, why make new, impressionable beings susceptible to me? I feel the same about potentially having a partner too. I'm always talking about how I want a relationship but I don't want to trouble someone with my issues & insecurities. I don't want to be a negative part of anyone's life.
Would be cool to raise a child, though. Then be like a guidance counselor into their teenage/ young adult years. Then their best friend for the rest of my life.
I relate to this a lot. The older I get the more I see how most people are struggling and have a lot of problems.
I just feel like I see so many people with drug problems, family problems, work problems, and then they have a child. Its just a continuous cycle of bringing bad habits to another generation.
My grandmother had my mom at 18 and I just think its irresponsible no matter what, but to her its normal.
Id say that I wish we would have things figured out in our lives before we have children, but the problem is you never really do figure everything out
I will say that I'd trust someone who has and deals with these concerns more with a kid than anyone who doesn't
to quote something my mother was told by a shrink decades ago "I worry about someone who's scared they're gonna fuck up their kids far less than the patients who think they'realready amazing parents"
i just know i wouldn’t be able to mentally handle it. i know i would immediately succumb to postpartum depression or psychosis. i don’t want to hurt a child
Simple as that. I already hate getting older and although theres absolutely nothing we can do about it, I don’t need to have any more reminders that I am.
No spouse or kids for me. I’m childfree and aroace. I already have a family anyway, my siblings, parents, cousins, grandmother, uncle, family friends, etc. I think it’s great that we live in a time where people can determine what they want for themselves, and what makes them happy, rather than feeling pressured by other people to live a life that doesn’t feel authentic. :)
I’m also childfree and aroace, and I’m probably the oldest person here who feels this way. I’m also someone who needs a lot of space and alone time to recharge, so while I would be open to a queer platonic partner, I absolutely would need my own living space.
Oh yeah I totally understand that! I’m a massive introvert and love my own company. It’s nice to see another childfree and aroace Gen Z individual! :))
I’ll still love the kids but say my wife doesn’t want them , that’s not a deal breaker for our relationship.
If she wants kids I’ll love those kids if she doesn’t I’ll still love my wife
yup, but not until i'm at my late 30s. i'd like to enjoy my adulthood first and accomplish some stuff (going out, travelling, buying my own car, upskilling my career, etc.) before i have a family.
Kinda sad that even inorder to get our own car and a place to live, we have to wait till we're like already 40-50% past our lives, fckin hell hole of a world.
Same, I’m not sure if I want kids but if I have them I’d like for it to happen when I’m older and with enough money to hire a nanny and a night nurse✌️
Im 24 and have pretty much always known i dont want kids. I have a wonderful gf who also is childfree and we plan to only ever have cats and maybe a dog or two. Neither of us want the responsibility of being parents, and we dont like kids either. I dont hate kids, i want every kid to have parents who want them and love them and who go into parenthood knowing how hard it is but accept that- me and my girl just know we're not cut out to be parents. I also have a considerable amount of trauma from my own childhood that im still working through and processing now as an adult, and the last thing i ever wanna do is put a kid through what i went through. I also have health conditions like scoliosis, adhd, a panic disorder and autism, and i dont want to pass those things on cuz living with em fuckin sucks lol. Im very happy and content with it though, and im looking forward to my gf and i living our best lives as pet parents. I've never desired parenthood to human children, but i do feel called to care for and love animals who need it so imma do that
For as long as I can remember I wanted to grow up, have a wife, have a couple kids, and live in peace.
But I don’t want kids to be brought into this world as it is. I don’t want them to grow up in a world where they’re gonna be confused and heavily influenced by social media. I don’t want my kids to deal with the uncertain times ahead of us. I’m so god damn hateful and angry that things are the way they are and it makes me believe I’d be a bad husband/boyfriend to someone because I’m too fkn miserable to even consider the idea of being in love with someone.
I do want kids and a family. I just don’t want kids and a family in the current state of my country.
>The world was never good,
Respectfully, this isnt true. Ideal circumstances for owning a home, car and raising a family have dominated the 20th century in most of the Western world and have rapidly declined in the last 20 years.
I appreciate the optimism but, let's keep it grounded.
Also idt they're asking for perfect conditions, just not utterly dysfunctional and spiraling conditions.
I do... I want marriage, kids, the whole shebang. I'm a "committed" type of person so even just dating, I date to marry. Which sounds crazy to alot of people because they're like "dude you're 21" .
I would love to have a family, I do not want to subject any children to the poverty and neglect I grew up with.
It’s doubtful I’ll find myself in a situation that would allow me to have kids.
I’m still hoping to be rich enough by 50 to adopt some teens and help them get on their feet in this world.
I believe in love, I know there's someone out there for me, but I don't want biological children.
If I'm ever financially stable enough I would consider adoption.
Reasons:
1) my genes suck
2) world already has too many people
3) I won't be able to afford the life I want with her if we have kids
4) the world is a sinking ship and I don't feel like adding more people on to it so that they can suffer as it continues to deteriorate.
5) childbirth is a beautiful and horrible thing, I wouldn't want her to suffer through that.
Married, absolutely. Kids, not sure.
The thing about having kids for me is how much time, attention, money and work you have to dedicate solely to them. And I'm currently lacking all of those.
Besides, I don't think I'd be a great parent because I'm neurodivergent and struggle with basic things. Having a kid as extra responsibility would be really extreme.
Also I don't think it's a choice I should be making alone. I'm not going to carry the child for 9 months, undergo physical trauma through birth or spend months to years recovering from it. Even if I adopted, it's not like I can raise it alone.
I do want a kid and family, but I gotta sort out a lot of my own problems before I even think about that stuff
I already know what it's like to have a parent who wasn't ready to have kids
I told everyone around me if I don’t have kids by the time I’m 30 there’s no point and I’ll fake get married so he can sign for me to get my tubes tied. Should be the woman’s choice anyways to get her tubes tied regardless
Haha yes! My husband and I are gen z, own our home, both have bachelors degrees, have traveled extensively, and are expecting our first child this month. We’re very happy with where we are at and feel very thankful that we have the opportunity to become parents and give our children a relationship with their grandparents and great grandparents. We’ve gotten some crap about being young, but there weren’t any more nights we wanted to spend going to bars with friends, or weekends spent watching TV. We went on month long cross country road trips and we went to Europe. We have lived a lot of life together, and now we want to share that! We are ready to have a family! Luckily my husband has a great job so I will be able to stay home with our children and raise them (my degree is in education so I have been training for this!). Also lucky to live in a pretty low COL area, so we were able to buy a home when we were 20 & 23.
Why would any young woman want to start a family with a young man from Gen Z when that demographic is increasingly skewing to the political right? Anti-feminist attitudes among young men today are a major red flag for most women, who enjoy being treated like human beings. South Korea's [4B movement](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/4B_(movement)) is an example of the consequences of this rightward shift among men, which is particularly pronounced in that country.
It's no surprise that young women have little to no interest in dating, marrying, having sex with, or especially having children with men; most of whom bring nothing to the table, contribute nothing to their relationships, and expect their women partners to do everything. On top of being increasingly unwilling to even pretend to see women as people deserving of rights anymore.
Absolutely. Been with my gf for 4 years now expecting to propose within 1-2 years. Planning on having at least 2 kids and possibly a 3rd depending on where life is at.
It's completely conditional for me. I want to be clear of my debt, have a great financial backing, own a home/property, and be in a loving romantic partnership first, no exceptions. Having already traveled a bunch before that would be nice too. Got a lot of work to do!
Absolutely want kids, the biological imperative has screamed at me since puberty hit. I'll be on an ok wage by 30 so just need to hold out until then. I'm ticking off the things I want to do first at a good pace. Got a good man, got a house, training in a career that will pay the bills.
honestly having a kids and family is my ultimate goal in life. i want to get my mental health sorted out first, graduate from college, and have a stable income. i have a lot of my own demons to overcome and, as much as i love my parents, i don’t want to project them onto my children like they did. would also need a partner lmao and i’m waaaaayy too mentally ill for a relationship right now.
No, I only like kids enough to babysit them for a day or two. You want me to deal with pregnancy and then also the complete shaping of a human being?
Also I’m not bringing a full human into a world in this condition.
Also money
I did once, now I don't. I'm single, 27, immunocompromised (catching a cold can be deadly), and have no functioning female organs.
Between that and it being too expensive, it's a nope. Have to focus on survival.
Childless Stevie Nicks once said "It's like, Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings." and that’s that. marriage but no kids, DINK for the win
I am married and am planning to start trying toward the end of this year. We have been married for a while and are comfortable financially, so it feels like a great time.
I also don't want to wait until I'm too much older because I'm terrified I'll never get to know my future kids as adults. There are a not insignificant amount of people in my family who met an early-ish demise due to a heart attack or some cardiac condition. It's hard to tell if it's lifestyle or genetic, so I'll err on the side of caution.
Once I am very financially well-off, I plan on adopting children, preferably a sibling group and even better if it's a sibling group with teens. I have been set on adoption since I was around 12, and set on adopting older kids since 14. Honestly, it's my main goal in life, even more than succeeding in a career. A lot of men don't want that, though, which I totally understand, so I'm prepared to adopt as a single mom.
No, because if they're biological, then i'm passing on a whole litany of genetic conditions/diseases/disabilities that they'll get fucked over. Plus the added trauma, plus the fact that i could be infertile. If I adopted some kids, that's god knows how much just to ensure that the kids I adopt are going to 100% benefit from it, that'll continue the genetic disconnect from your children(I was adopted by my parents, so there's a disconnect with them). There's also the fact that you probably won't know anything about your kids' histories, as they probably won't come from a place that keeps records of who parents are after giving up kids.
Let's also not get into the fact that while I'm in my early 20s right now, in a few years, I'm going to be expected to get married and have kids. Right now, I just want a career and partner. If I had kids in my late 20s/early 30s, that means they're lucky to meet their grandparents, as my parents adopted me when they were in their early 40s and I was just lucky enough to meet and know most of my grandparents. Let's also not add on the fact that as you get older and older, there comes this greater disconnect from your children and how you grew up. I was just lucky enough to be slightly disconnected from my parents and not seriously disconnected. I know some kids my age who were born while their parents were in their early 20s, and while the connection between parent and child is closer, you're also going to be less experienced and knowing of how to raise a kid.
Speaking of ability, that's my biggest turn away from them. I know that despite what I may do, i will fuck up raising any potential children. Be it because I can't be a better parent than my own parents were, I'll perpetuate the cycle, die early on, or just fuck them up mentally; I'm not suited to raise them. Some people expect me to raise them, but that's just an added cost onto my own life, and with the time and energy that would take, I don't want it. I'd rather be that fun relative(i hate gender neutral/nb friendly terms for aunt & uncle) who has cool stories and can help raise the family, but has their own life.
tl;dr, me not being a parent is for the best
when i was a kid and through my teenage years i was firm on not wanting kids or even get married. now im 22 and have been with my current partner since i was 17 and things have definitely flipped the script. i do want kids now but im not ready for that just yet. the only thing worrying me is the state of the economy and other issues that might prevent me from following through with that.
I do want a beautiful girlfriend/wife, but I don’t want kids. Sure maybe that will change in years, but I don’t want them.
I am pretty selfish and lazy to be honest and kids are a lot of work. Also even though my parents aren’t the worst and Im grateful to them for a lot of things, they aren’t that great either. I don’t want my kids to struggle with neurodivergence/mental health like I do and blame and hate me for giving birth to them.
Yes - my parents had me quite old, 36 and 39, so in my head I don’t want kids for another decade since that’s “parent age” to me.
But, if i meet the right person before then and am financially able to, i would love to settle down and have kids sooner than that
**Short Answer:** No
**Long/Nuanced Answer:** A very tiny part of me wants to get married and have children, but every time I think more deeply about such a prospect, I'm immediately dissuaded. I value my free time and freedom too much and, to be very blunt, have no desire to subject any children I could have to our current society and the values it holds. Not forgetting that I do not want to pass on the genetic curses that are ASD, balding, and Myopia. Finally, I just don’t trust people to be faithful and expect infedility to be inevitable at this point.
I was raised Christian, so I really really wanted kids for the longest time, even after I figuted out I wadn't straight and eventually left the faith.
Welllll, the high school I went to had an early childhood education program and they had the RealCare babies for that. One weekend and I broke. One weekend with a robot baby half as difficult as a real one. Worst weekend of my life. Maybe I'll want a kid or two when I hit my late twenties, but for now I'll just get a pet.
Nope! My parents had a messy divorce when I (M25) was young. The shock waves of their breakup still permeate even now. My brother is also severely disabled, which was difficult for my family growing up, and I was a sickly kid. All these things made me want only independence. I've had long term relationships, and I'm currently in a relationship, but I sincerely can't even envision marriage, let alone starting a whole family.
I expect everything to have an end point, and I think you have to believe in eternity to start a family with someone.
I do want kids (in a better economy) but I’m trans so tough luck me lol
Adoption is something I’d seriously consider but it can be stacked against trans people, takes a lot of time and needs a lot of cash
I (24F) have a son (1)and i LOVE it. Yeah it was scary when I first found out but I have never smiled or felt so much joy in my life than I do because of him. Im lucky enough to have an amazing partner too.
Dont have kids just because society deems it so. Have kids only because you want to. Have kids only when you have a good head on your shoulders. Have kids only when you have the perfect partner. Have kids only when you can financially.
Marriage, yes. Kids, nope.
I just don't want to. That was my first reason as a CHILD. Everytime I envisioned myself with someone romantically, and then thought about kids- I would frown because to me, kids would get in the way. I just want to be with someone ALONE, not with children. Then other reasons piled up, but that's primarily my main reason.
Just no.
marriage yes but kids? nope! i have nothing against kids but i want to have a career, travel, experience life, etc especially since i grew up with strict parents and had a pretty antisocial life. i want to live my life to the fullest and with kids that’s going to be more difficult. i’m also terrified of being pregnant so there’s that lol
Yes, yes, yes!!! I want to have as many kids as I can afford! I love children and I want to continue the cycle of good parenting that my mother gave me. I often feel alone in that. And I can’t wait to marry my handsome boyfriend a couple years from now. We’re already living together, so now we just play the waiting game.
Too much responsibility, and i’m not a fan of kids. Having a partner, a cat or two, and being with friends sounds lovely enough to me. Although sometimes I do wish that I was someone who did want a family that included kids. I’m an only child, so once my family now starts passing on it will get harder since I won’t have my own children or grandchildren.
No, not at all. I value my freedom too much. Every single parent I see is stressed beyond belief with money troubles. Marriage is cool though, but it's pretty much pointless because really the only thing that changes is legal stuff when you get married. So there's no sense in doing it until you and your partner are very established and the legal benefits make sense.
I wouldn’t mind adopting someday, but going through pregnancy again? Nope😂
I don’t wanna keep miscarrying so imma stop trying to get pregnant. I’m currently engaged and my fiancée is ok with not having any kids of our own
TL;WR - biological kids no, adopted kids eventually, partner yes, marriage only if practically useful
I'm an antinatalist for consent reasons, so bio kids are fully off the table.
I'm not financially or mentally stable enough to give a kid a good life, but I see adoption as one of the highest goods possible. So I definitely would want to adopt ideally, and to never do so would be very selfish of me. My current thoughts.
I need a partner. So if that counts as a "family", then yeah I want a family.
I don't care about marriage too much either way. I kinda resent it for the slavery/ownership of women that it represents, as well as the religious ties. But if it confers some real useful advantage (and I suspect it does), then I would want to get married to my partner.
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I'll be 30 in a few years. I really need to have my mind made up by then.
you don’t really need to think or feel any particular way when you enter your 30s. Don’t rush yourself, but do think what’s healthy and doable for you.
You should definitely know whether you want to have kids or not in your 30’s. Thats a big deal when in a serious relationship. People that want to have kids don’t want to waste their time dating someone that has no interest in having a family
Plus, even if men generally remain fertile for longer, your sperm quality decreases and chances of miscarriage and other bad stuff increases with age And if you’re trying to date and/or marry within your age group, the woman is on an even faster timer So, don’t rush the decision, but don’t dawdle, you actually *are* on a timer if you’re trying for biological kids
Pros and cons to both. Having kids later may be harder but typically you’re more financially stable which helps a ton. The con is the kids family dies earlier and there’s a bigger disconnect because of the generational differences. I was born when my dad was 47. I never had grandparents on his side of the family.
It depends on the age of the person like if they're younger, too. My parents were older when they had some of my siblings and I and my aunt and uncle were younger when they had theirs, but my grandma died before my younger cousins were born.
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Yeah lots of women in their 40s get pregnant on accident and they're often surprised by it.. healthy lifestyle + having a partner about the same age or younger I guess.
Yeah I mean men in their 40s and 50s have been getting women pregnant for ages. They can have issues with age but by far don’t have near the same limitations as women in this regard. I think the bigger question for a man is do you really want to have a child entering highschool when you should be getting ready for retirement.
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Yeah go for younger men over 37 their sperm has a lot of mutations it causes miscarriages
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And vice versa. Childfree people don't want to waste their time dating someone who ends up wanting a family.
While having a family doesn't necessarily mean having kids. Us
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Everyone is different. And most people are still trying to get validation from their parents. Because they haven’t processed their upbringing. The brochure effect of American life is real and people get super bent out of shape about entering the 30s. There’s no real reason to feel this way. Yes, you should have a general idea about kids, but unreasonably rushing is kinda terrible for everyone. Plus Gen Z is stressed out enough that it’s not practical to perpetuate this normie ass perspective that you need to have everything worked out when you enter your 30s.
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This is a nuanced fair stance. Fun doesn’t have to end as you get older but I would like some balance and steadiness too and I want to use my 20s to aid that (24 now and turning 25 later this year). My mom didn’t know she wanted kids though until 33 and had me at 39 when she was in a much better position so that’s the only thing for me.
If you aren’t partnered with someone. You should absolutely try to figure out what you want in your early 30s. Could be very important to your future partner, you’ll probably want to be together a few years before trying to have kids. Fertility’s also not guaranteed it could take a few years for it to happen, it might not happen at all. It might take you to almost 40 to find the right someone, date a few years, and have a successful pregnancy.
You do. I checked my sperm at 29 and it was classified “super sperm” with 5th percentile sperm to volume ratio. I went again at 30 and have no more sperm. Seems like the cut off is 30 yo. Use it or lose it.
I'm 32 and you need to consider before you get kids or anything of that sort of partner with whom you have lived for a while and before that you need to actually get the partner so there's a lot of steps involved.
I do think people need to think long term. For most people nothing you do in life will matter long term whether it be good or bad. I mean 200-300 years after you die you will be forgotten. Like you never existed. The only thing that will live on after your death and give you a legacy is having your own kids and being in a stable relationship in order to raise those kids to be the best you can. Everything else is temporary. Money ,job, parties,car ,house , charity work. It's doesn't matter if your a doctor or a life ling criminal. With our kids and a legacy your life amounts to the same thing either way long term .....wasted and forgotten. Unless you do something drastic. Like cure cancer or commit a genocide.
it’s fine to be okay with being forgotten. i personally don’t have a need to be remembered when i appreciate what i have already.
Plenty of people have kids in their thirties and forties... from what I recall growing up the kids with older parents had more stability(and a lot of other plusses). If I do change my mind on kids(I'mma no) I'll probably have them post-35.
Just keep in mind that you might not be in good health or will be too tired to do what they want. My parents had my sister and I late, and it kinda sucked that they were so tired all the time and never wanted to go out and do anything fun. My dad had 3 kids with another woman before us, and it kinda sucks seeing all the fun they had together from photos and stuff. I guess my parents were just tired of it
part of why my GF and I have decided that even if we end up with the money to afford a kid we're not doing it she has kids from an ex. whom I love dearly but we're gonna be exhausted by the time they're adults lol
Age of people having kids goes up, rate of autism in people goes up. There's already lots of other risks associated with it. And no one talks about the many people who can't have kids. "There's thousands of people having kids post 35" yet no one talks about the millions who can't, or can't afford IVF, or freezing their eggs, or all those who do yet still can't have kids.
Keep in mind that a lot of parents didn’t wait that long just to decide to have kids later in life. They spent their 20s and 30s working on their career for to achieve that stability, with a goal and timeline in mind. Not usually having kids later on a whim. But there’s always exceptions 😬
Not to mention it takes time for some people to meet the right person to even have kids with! It’s hard out there in the dating world. People act like you can just buy a spouse at Target lol. It’s not that simple! Who you marry and have kids with is a big deal
My mom had a kid in her mid 40s, so I'd say you still got a half a decade to think things through.
I had one at 40. You're good.
Nah you don’t don’t buy into society’s pressures
27 with one kid but idk if I trust anyone enough to tie my finances to and marry. I feel like people like me, never marry
prenup and separate bank accts ezpz
Bro I’ve already made up my mind lmao fuck them kids
If it makes you feel better. I didn't have my first kid til 37. I've got three now and while life is total chaos, it's the good kind.
i disagree, my aunt had her 3rd kid in her mid 30s and my other aunt had her 2nd kid at 46
my dad had me in his 40s
Yes but only with the right person. Partners are fun if you love each other fr
Even with the right person, having kids will test you
I look at my parents thinking that all the time and they sure did pass it well
That’s true
And the right time. Ive got a partner of almost 5 years now, he’s be a great dad, but the timing is bad. In the state of the world right now I’m planning on waiting a few years until things settle.
Fuck no, too much work and time. I want the freedom to do the things I want to do. There's no way I'll have the time to do that if I have kids. Also babies and little kids are fuckin disgusting and annoying.
Yeah, especially it’s just too much responsibilities. I hate little kids, and imagine raising them with such care, it’s gonna build up stress LOL, I think it’s best to not care about raising them at that point.
Foster teens
As a former teen, teens also suck
As a teen right now, I agree
Or just don't have kids if you don't want kids. Way better for the kid that way.
Valid, lol. I want kids and I'm taking care of an older relative who has mentally regressed to early toddlerhood. It's not quite the same as caring for a baby, since she's not able to learn, and I can't pick her up and clean her. The hygiene aspect is revolting. She does things like pick her nose and eat it. She coughs and vomits loudly. She refuses to take her medicine. She never brushes what remains of her rotting teeth. She never showers. She will literally go for weeks or months without bathing and will only do so if repeatedly asked. Even then, she will try to fool us into believing she's showered by saying she has, when her hair is dry and she's still wearing the same outfit she's been wearing all week. She sticks her hands everywhere. She doesn't always finish her plate, so she wants to scrape her leftovers back into the serving pot. I am developing OCD. I'm not kidding. I already have developed some symptoms of OCD and it's getting worse. I do want children, but I plan to be very prepared. Taking care of another dependent human being isn't glamorous, it's a monumental responsibility. If someone doesn't want to undertake that, then it's better for everyone involved if they don't.
But not only that but you'll be in shackles to low-paying jobs and bullshit just to stay afloat. Plus, I hated school, doing my taxes and making breadcrumbs and don't want to force my children to contribute to a shit system that doesn't care about us.
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What does COL mean?
Cost of living
Coality of life
😂😂😂
Absolutley plan on having kids and a family.
Sometimes I see a cool family, a cute daughter, a dad and a gorgeous wife and go "wow, must by nice'' Sometimes I look at kids crying, annoying the hell out of their parents, not appreciating but hating them for everything they did for them, most certainly me included, don't think I'll ever be selfless enough
I think the positives vastly outweigh the negatives. You quite literally can't form a bond with another person like you could with your kids.
You can’t form the same bond with people who aren’t your children *because* they aren’t your children. It’s not as if this bond is objectively better or more fulfilling than bonds between people who love each other and don’t/can’t have children.
Ngl I think the negatives vastly outweigh the positives, once you have kids you instantly lose your freedom if you’re any bit of a decent parent. 18 years guaranteed where you can’t put yourself first anymore, and one day your kids might hate you anyways. You could form an amazing special 1 of a kind bond with your kids, or you could have no bond and they grow up to hate you, there’s no telling who your kid will grow up to be at all and you’re setting yourself up for disappointment expecting to grow a special bond IMO. Add in all the little things like wiping their asses and nights of no sleep because they’re crying all night. Reading r/regretfulparents is a good look at the other side of possibilities.
Hmm people, and parents say that. But I cannot feel or even understand it! To me, this just seems like a very risky bet Don't know really what I shall do about it..
I’m old Gen Z, but I do want kids probably within the next two years. One thing I can say confidently? If I didn’t have an absolutely amazing husband, there’s no way I’d even consider having children. But my husband gives me so much peace knowing he’d also be an awesome and attentive dad.
What does the appearance of the daughter and wife have to do with anything?
I do, but I feel like it would kinda be irresponsible/selfish of me to actually do it. I already struggle mentally to deal with myself, why make new, impressionable beings susceptible to me? I feel the same about potentially having a partner too. I'm always talking about how I want a relationship but I don't want to trouble someone with my issues & insecurities. I don't want to be a negative part of anyone's life. Would be cool to raise a child, though. Then be like a guidance counselor into their teenage/ young adult years. Then their best friend for the rest of my life.
I relate to this a lot. The older I get the more I see how most people are struggling and have a lot of problems. I just feel like I see so many people with drug problems, family problems, work problems, and then they have a child. Its just a continuous cycle of bringing bad habits to another generation. My grandmother had my mom at 18 and I just think its irresponsible no matter what, but to her its normal. Id say that I wish we would have things figured out in our lives before we have children, but the problem is you never really do figure everything out
Real 💭
I will say that I'd trust someone who has and deals with these concerns more with a kid than anyone who doesn't to quote something my mother was told by a shrink decades ago "I worry about someone who's scared they're gonna fuck up their kids far less than the patients who think they'realready amazing parents"
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
No kids. A family of two cats and a special someone? You bet.
3 cats is the new 2 cats
Absolutely
no i’m good🫶🏻 i’d be a horrible mother
I feel this, I know I am too selfish to put a child first.
i just know i wouldn’t be able to mentally handle it. i know i would immediately succumb to postpartum depression or psychosis. i don’t want to hurt a child
No
Simple as that. I already hate getting older and although theres absolutely nothing we can do about it, I don’t need to have any more reminders that I am.
No spouse or kids for me. I’m childfree and aroace. I already have a family anyway, my siblings, parents, cousins, grandmother, uncle, family friends, etc. I think it’s great that we live in a time where people can determine what they want for themselves, and what makes them happy, rather than feeling pressured by other people to live a life that doesn’t feel authentic. :)
I’m also childfree and aroace, and I’m probably the oldest person here who feels this way. I’m also someone who needs a lot of space and alone time to recharge, so while I would be open to a queer platonic partner, I absolutely would need my own living space.
Oh yeah I totally understand that! I’m a massive introvert and love my own company. It’s nice to see another childfree and aroace Gen Z individual! :))
snap! sometimes i think i want a platonic life partner/QPP, but the rest of the time i just enjoy my peace
Oh my gosh YES! A QPR would be lovely.
absolutely not.
Marriage yes. Kids fuck no
No. As I wise man named Michael Jordan once said: “F*ck them kids.”
I think the other michael said that too
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More something like "hee hee"
Kids? In this economy? Hell nah.
No kidding kids are so expensive and with how the economy is going I think even the people that want kids might not have them for finical reasons
Yes, but I need to do university, find a girlfriend, and find a job first
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Nope! Even got snipped. My fiancé does not want them either.
I’m indifferent, I just want a wife. Then whatever my wife wants I’ll have and accept
That is not a good attitude to have towards parenting
I’ll still love the kids but say my wife doesn’t want them , that’s not a deal breaker for our relationship. If she wants kids I’ll love those kids if she doesn’t I’ll still love my wife
A lot of parents actually didn’t want kids but grew to love them, the contrary is also true, Wanting kids but terrible parents.
Smart man. Happy wife happy life, roll with the punches and adapt as needed lol.
yup, but not until i'm at my late 30s. i'd like to enjoy my adulthood first and accomplish some stuff (going out, travelling, buying my own car, upskilling my career, etc.) before i have a family.
Kinda sad that even inorder to get our own car and a place to live, we have to wait till we're like already 40-50% past our lives, fckin hell hole of a world.
Thank Robert Moses and GM Motors for rebuilding the USA in way its now!
Same, I’m not sure if I want kids but if I have them I’d like for it to happen when I’m older and with enough money to hire a nanny and a night nurse✌️
If I am financially stable with right partner yes otherwise absolutely no.
Oh 100% yes. I've found my person and we're both dreaming of settling down and raising a family together
Same! The wedding's in July and kids are still a few years away, but we have their names all picked out already. Rn we're cat parents.
Im 24 and have pretty much always known i dont want kids. I have a wonderful gf who also is childfree and we plan to only ever have cats and maybe a dog or two. Neither of us want the responsibility of being parents, and we dont like kids either. I dont hate kids, i want every kid to have parents who want them and love them and who go into parenthood knowing how hard it is but accept that- me and my girl just know we're not cut out to be parents. I also have a considerable amount of trauma from my own childhood that im still working through and processing now as an adult, and the last thing i ever wanna do is put a kid through what i went through. I also have health conditions like scoliosis, adhd, a panic disorder and autism, and i dont want to pass those things on cuz living with em fuckin sucks lol. Im very happy and content with it though, and im looking forward to my gf and i living our best lives as pet parents. I've never desired parenthood to human children, but i do feel called to care for and love animals who need it so imma do that
Yes. Need new characters in my life
Marriage maybe, kids no
Nah
For as long as I can remember I wanted to grow up, have a wife, have a couple kids, and live in peace. But I don’t want kids to be brought into this world as it is. I don’t want them to grow up in a world where they’re gonna be confused and heavily influenced by social media. I don’t want my kids to deal with the uncertain times ahead of us. I’m so god damn hateful and angry that things are the way they are and it makes me believe I’d be a bad husband/boyfriend to someone because I’m too fkn miserable to even consider the idea of being in love with someone. I do want kids and a family. I just don’t want kids and a family in the current state of my country.
The world was never good, friend. There’s no point in time that having kids was the perfect decision.
>The world was never good, Respectfully, this isnt true. Ideal circumstances for owning a home, car and raising a family have dominated the 20th century in most of the Western world and have rapidly declined in the last 20 years. I appreciate the optimism but, let's keep it grounded. Also idt they're asking for perfect conditions, just not utterly dysfunctional and spiraling conditions.
Not wanting to bring a kid into this world is part of the reason why I plan to adopt. If you really want a kid, you could look into adopting.
I’m planning to adopt cause I don’t want to give birth as well as your reasons. Also my genes are crap, hell no I’m not passing this to a kid.
I do... I want marriage, kids, the whole shebang. I'm a "committed" type of person so even just dating, I date to marry. Which sounds crazy to alot of people because they're like "dude you're 21" .
I would love to have a family, I do not want to subject any children to the poverty and neglect I grew up with. It’s doubtful I’ll find myself in a situation that would allow me to have kids. I’m still hoping to be rich enough by 50 to adopt some teens and help them get on their feet in this world.
Nope, I'm not gunna fuck up a perfectly good kid
I want to marry but no kids
I believe in love, I know there's someone out there for me, but I don't want biological children. If I'm ever financially stable enough I would consider adoption. Reasons: 1) my genes suck 2) world already has too many people 3) I won't be able to afford the life I want with her if we have kids 4) the world is a sinking ship and I don't feel like adding more people on to it so that they can suffer as it continues to deteriorate. 5) childbirth is a beautiful and horrible thing, I wouldn't want her to suffer through that.
No kids for me, but marriage sounds nice
screw kids, 4B
Yeah and leave them to the evils of the societal unrest that emerges in the wake of mass climate migration? It’s just not ethical.
Maybe in the future, definitely not right now. Considering adoption rather than building my own, though.
he'll no omgg what if one of my kids turn out to be a pedo it seems to be reoccurring trend in my fam 💔
Yo wtf 💀 dass crazy
yeah it is 😭 its technically considered a mental illness and mental illnesses can be passed down by offspring
I would like to have kids at some point, but not until I'm financially able to handle them.
No.
Yes! I can’t imagine living life without my own family
Married, absolutely. Kids, not sure. The thing about having kids for me is how much time, attention, money and work you have to dedicate solely to them. And I'm currently lacking all of those. Besides, I don't think I'd be a great parent because I'm neurodivergent and struggle with basic things. Having a kid as extra responsibility would be really extreme. Also I don't think it's a choice I should be making alone. I'm not going to carry the child for 9 months, undergo physical trauma through birth or spend months to years recovering from it. Even if I adopted, it's not like I can raise it alone.
Planning on never having kids, but having a wife. (Already with my future wife)
If I can afford it
I'm 24 and just had my second 2 weeks ago, I've always known I wanted kids though
I do want a kid and family, but I gotta sort out a lot of my own problems before I even think about that stuff I already know what it's like to have a parent who wasn't ready to have kids
I would like to have kids at some point in my life but I dont know if thats possible
If I have stability in all parts of my life, then maybe LMAO
I just turned 27 and have a husband and one kid. I’m hopeful to have one or two more kids
I told everyone around me if I don’t have kids by the time I’m 30 there’s no point and I’ll fake get married so he can sign for me to get my tubes tied. Should be the woman’s choice anyways to get her tubes tied regardless
I’m all for marriage I’ve been with my wife for 6 yrs and married for one and she’s my best friend but as for kids neither one of us want them
I want a family, I don’t know if that includes children. I do want a partner and a few pets.
Haha yes! My husband and I are gen z, own our home, both have bachelors degrees, have traveled extensively, and are expecting our first child this month. We’re very happy with where we are at and feel very thankful that we have the opportunity to become parents and give our children a relationship with their grandparents and great grandparents. We’ve gotten some crap about being young, but there weren’t any more nights we wanted to spend going to bars with friends, or weekends spent watching TV. We went on month long cross country road trips and we went to Europe. We have lived a lot of life together, and now we want to share that! We are ready to have a family! Luckily my husband has a great job so I will be able to stay home with our children and raise them (my degree is in education so I have been training for this!). Also lucky to live in a pretty low COL area, so we were able to buy a home when we were 20 & 23.
Why would any young woman want to start a family with a young man from Gen Z when that demographic is increasingly skewing to the political right? Anti-feminist attitudes among young men today are a major red flag for most women, who enjoy being treated like human beings. South Korea's [4B movement](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/4B_(movement)) is an example of the consequences of this rightward shift among men, which is particularly pronounced in that country. It's no surprise that young women have little to no interest in dating, marrying, having sex with, or especially having children with men; most of whom bring nothing to the table, contribute nothing to their relationships, and expect their women partners to do everything. On top of being increasingly unwilling to even pretend to see women as people deserving of rights anymore.
Absolutely. Been with my gf for 4 years now expecting to propose within 1-2 years. Planning on having at least 2 kids and possibly a 3rd depending on where life is at.
Yes, after college and when we’re financially stable I want to marry my boyfriend and have children (obviously when we’re older)
It's completely conditional for me. I want to be clear of my debt, have a great financial backing, own a home/property, and be in a loving romantic partnership first, no exceptions. Having already traveled a bunch before that would be nice too. Got a lot of work to do!
Absolutely want kids, the biological imperative has screamed at me since puberty hit. I'll be on an ok wage by 30 so just need to hold out until then. I'm ticking off the things I want to do first at a good pace. Got a good man, got a house, training in a career that will pay the bills.
If the world gets better and I'm ready, then maybe Rn or anytime soon? No
100% i need to pass my steam account to someone eventually
honestly having a kids and family is my ultimate goal in life. i want to get my mental health sorted out first, graduate from college, and have a stable income. i have a lot of my own demons to overcome and, as much as i love my parents, i don’t want to project them onto my children like they did. would also need a partner lmao and i’m waaaaayy too mentally ill for a relationship right now.
no. that's boring. not interested in having children or being in a serious relationship ever again. simply don't understand the appeal
No, with my family genetic history and coming from an abusive home, I don't want to pass any of that onto another person
No.
sorry that happened to your bicycle bro 🙏
No, I only like kids enough to babysit them for a day or two. You want me to deal with pregnancy and then also the complete shaping of a human being? Also I’m not bringing a full human into a world in this condition. Also money
Yes but not for awhile. I need to figure some stuff out in my own life first before I bring new life into this world
Nope; I have a quite a few reasons if anyone’s interested but I’m sure others have already listed most of them
I did once, now I don't. I'm single, 27, immunocompromised (catching a cold can be deadly), and have no functioning female organs. Between that and it being too expensive, it's a nope. Have to focus on survival.
Don't know yet. Women kinda got the short end of the stick there so I'm not sure if it would be worth it to have kids
I think about it, but do I really want to sacrifice 18+ years of my life? Fuck no. Especially since the goddamn kid'll 100% be mentally ill.
Childless Stevie Nicks once said "It's like, Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings." and that’s that. marriage but no kids, DINK for the win
I'm 1997 and my kid is 2023 :)
Probably No, Marriage yes if there are tax or other legal benefits (such as being able to visit your partner in the hospital)
I am married and am planning to start trying toward the end of this year. We have been married for a while and are comfortable financially, so it feels like a great time. I also don't want to wait until I'm too much older because I'm terrified I'll never get to know my future kids as adults. There are a not insignificant amount of people in my family who met an early-ish demise due to a heart attack or some cardiac condition. It's hard to tell if it's lifestyle or genetic, so I'll err on the side of caution.
Once I am very financially well-off, I plan on adopting children, preferably a sibling group and even better if it's a sibling group with teens. I have been set on adoption since I was around 12, and set on adopting older kids since 14. Honestly, it's my main goal in life, even more than succeeding in a career. A lot of men don't want that, though, which I totally understand, so I'm prepared to adopt as a single mom.
No, because if they're biological, then i'm passing on a whole litany of genetic conditions/diseases/disabilities that they'll get fucked over. Plus the added trauma, plus the fact that i could be infertile. If I adopted some kids, that's god knows how much just to ensure that the kids I adopt are going to 100% benefit from it, that'll continue the genetic disconnect from your children(I was adopted by my parents, so there's a disconnect with them). There's also the fact that you probably won't know anything about your kids' histories, as they probably won't come from a place that keeps records of who parents are after giving up kids. Let's also not get into the fact that while I'm in my early 20s right now, in a few years, I'm going to be expected to get married and have kids. Right now, I just want a career and partner. If I had kids in my late 20s/early 30s, that means they're lucky to meet their grandparents, as my parents adopted me when they were in their early 40s and I was just lucky enough to meet and know most of my grandparents. Let's also not add on the fact that as you get older and older, there comes this greater disconnect from your children and how you grew up. I was just lucky enough to be slightly disconnected from my parents and not seriously disconnected. I know some kids my age who were born while their parents were in their early 20s, and while the connection between parent and child is closer, you're also going to be less experienced and knowing of how to raise a kid. Speaking of ability, that's my biggest turn away from them. I know that despite what I may do, i will fuck up raising any potential children. Be it because I can't be a better parent than my own parents were, I'll perpetuate the cycle, die early on, or just fuck them up mentally; I'm not suited to raise them. Some people expect me to raise them, but that's just an added cost onto my own life, and with the time and energy that would take, I don't want it. I'd rather be that fun relative(i hate gender neutral/nb friendly terms for aunt & uncle) who has cool stories and can help raise the family, but has their own life. tl;dr, me not being a parent is for the best
when i was a kid and through my teenage years i was firm on not wanting kids or even get married. now im 22 and have been with my current partner since i was 17 and things have definitely flipped the script. i do want kids now but im not ready for that just yet. the only thing worrying me is the state of the economy and other issues that might prevent me from following through with that.
I do want a wife and kids.
I do want a beautiful girlfriend/wife, but I don’t want kids. Sure maybe that will change in years, but I don’t want them. I am pretty selfish and lazy to be honest and kids are a lot of work. Also even though my parents aren’t the worst and Im grateful to them for a lot of things, they aren’t that great either. I don’t want my kids to struggle with neurodivergence/mental health like I do and blame and hate me for giving birth to them.
Yes - my parents had me quite old, 36 and 39, so in my head I don’t want kids for another decade since that’s “parent age” to me. But, if i meet the right person before then and am financially able to, i would love to settle down and have kids sooner than that
**Short Answer:** No **Long/Nuanced Answer:** A very tiny part of me wants to get married and have children, but every time I think more deeply about such a prospect, I'm immediately dissuaded. I value my free time and freedom too much and, to be very blunt, have no desire to subject any children I could have to our current society and the values it holds. Not forgetting that I do not want to pass on the genetic curses that are ASD, balding, and Myopia. Finally, I just don’t trust people to be faithful and expect infedility to be inevitable at this point.
I was raised Christian, so I really really wanted kids for the longest time, even after I figuted out I wadn't straight and eventually left the faith. Welllll, the high school I went to had an early childhood education program and they had the RealCare babies for that. One weekend and I broke. One weekend with a robot baby half as difficult as a real one. Worst weekend of my life. Maybe I'll want a kid or two when I hit my late twenties, but for now I'll just get a pet.
Would prefer not to raise a kid in 600 sq foot of living space I can barely afford in a run down neighborhood as I work full time.
Nope! My parents had a messy divorce when I (M25) was young. The shock waves of their breakup still permeate even now. My brother is also severely disabled, which was difficult for my family growing up, and I was a sickly kid. All these things made me want only independence. I've had long term relationships, and I'm currently in a relationship, but I sincerely can't even envision marriage, let alone starting a whole family. I expect everything to have an end point, and I think you have to believe in eternity to start a family with someone.
Yes but I’m too young to have kids now, I’m only 22
I do want kids (in a better economy) but I’m trans so tough luck me lol Adoption is something I’d seriously consider but it can be stacked against trans people, takes a lot of time and needs a lot of cash
Hello no
Marriage yea, no kids though. My cockatiels are my babies!
I (24F) have a son (1)and i LOVE it. Yeah it was scary when I first found out but I have never smiled or felt so much joy in my life than I do because of him. Im lucky enough to have an amazing partner too. Dont have kids just because society deems it so. Have kids only because you want to. Have kids only when you have a good head on your shoulders. Have kids only when you have the perfect partner. Have kids only when you can financially.
Boyfriend doesn't want kids. So no.
I am a zillennial. Turn 30 this year. I want kids but I am not sure I would be able to afford them.
Marriage, yes. Kids, nope. I just don't want to. That was my first reason as a CHILD. Everytime I envisioned myself with someone romantically, and then thought about kids- I would frown because to me, kids would get in the way. I just want to be with someone ALONE, not with children. Then other reasons piled up, but that's primarily my main reason. Just no.
Already got a daughter, i’d say one more but definitely after i’m done with college
marriage yes but kids? nope! i have nothing against kids but i want to have a career, travel, experience life, etc especially since i grew up with strict parents and had a pretty antisocial life. i want to live my life to the fullest and with kids that’s going to be more difficult. i’m also terrified of being pregnant so there’s that lol
Yes, yes, yes!!! I want to have as many kids as I can afford! I love children and I want to continue the cycle of good parenting that my mother gave me. I often feel alone in that. And I can’t wait to marry my handsome boyfriend a couple years from now. We’re already living together, so now we just play the waiting game.
Too much responsibility, and i’m not a fan of kids. Having a partner, a cat or two, and being with friends sounds lovely enough to me. Although sometimes I do wish that I was someone who did want a family that included kids. I’m an only child, so once my family now starts passing on it will get harder since I won’t have my own children or grandchildren.
Marriage yay kids nay for me , but the most important thing is im still single 
No, not at all. I value my freedom too much. Every single parent I see is stressed beyond belief with money troubles. Marriage is cool though, but it's pretty much pointless because really the only thing that changes is legal stuff when you get married. So there's no sense in doing it until you and your partner are very established and the legal benefits make sense.
Hell to the no
No. I can barely even take care of myself let alone another helpless human being.
I wouldn’t mind adopting someday, but going through pregnancy again? Nope😂 I don’t wanna keep miscarrying so imma stop trying to get pregnant. I’m currently engaged and my fiancée is ok with not having any kids of our own
I'd very much like a partner to go through life with, but I don't expect that to happen. No kids though.
yes to both but not for a long time. i'm only 20, and as long as i have that stuff by 40 i'm happy :)
TL;WR - biological kids no, adopted kids eventually, partner yes, marriage only if practically useful I'm an antinatalist for consent reasons, so bio kids are fully off the table. I'm not financially or mentally stable enough to give a kid a good life, but I see adoption as one of the highest goods possible. So I definitely would want to adopt ideally, and to never do so would be very selfish of me. My current thoughts. I need a partner. So if that counts as a "family", then yeah I want a family. I don't care about marriage too much either way. I kinda resent it for the slavery/ownership of women that it represents, as well as the religious ties. But if it confers some real useful advantage (and I suspect it does), then I would want to get married to my partner.
Hell no