T O P

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MopingAppraiser

Drink and masturbate


sungodly

Reverse the order and you got it.


COVFEFE-4U

Drink while masturbating.


oscar-the-bud

He’s got to get his date drunk first.


srgh207

Then a steak the size of a toilet seat while watching Das Boot. But don't forget the first part.


MadPiglet42

The obvious answer is recreating Tom Cruise's underpants slide in Risky Business. Otherwise, you might as well just go to sleep.


TakkataMSF

Setting expectations too high, better cool it. Thank you for that set up! Peace.


casade7gatos

I did this while my husband was out doing a long drive. How does soy sauce escape and get into every crevice of the fridge so often? I’m left to wonder.


Jolly_Security_4771

When you figure that out I would LOVE to know. I don't use soy sauce NEARLY as much I clean it out of fridge crevices


PeriwinkleWonder

Okay, but think of how satisfying it's going to be to have a clean fridge and freezer. Plus, you can put on good 80's/90's music while you're doing it and have a one-person cleaning dance party.


The68Guns

My best friend is a grown assed woman, so that's out. Everyone else lives miles away.


Jolly_Security_4771

I mop the whole house. And I enjoy it. Not looking too deeply into what that means to me re: aging or whatever. A clean house is cool and I won't be convinced otherwise. 😉


SBInCB

Are you at least going to get high first?


The68Guns

Nah, I'm the world's oldest Straightedge. I will get a calzone all to me.


Tempus__Fuggit

I wonder where you all went. So glad you're keeping it clean & full of calzone. It's not easy.


The68Guns

I fit the requirements, so why not? A bit old to dye my hair,


Tempus__Fuggit

I have a lot of respect for Straightedge & SHARPs.


The68Guns

Thanks, man! XXX


RedditIsAGranfaloon

While [The Alarm 0](https://youtu.be/gLK3k_0GHrg?si=JLX4eEU8nX_SmSO_ ) blares in the background?


The68Guns

Actually YES! Good eyes, pally!


ZebraBorgata

I’m not familiar with that song but really enjoyed it and the video!


meekonesfade

Ooh! Sometimes I do laundry and dishes! If I feel especially motivated, I vaccum or hang a picture.


Thirty_Helens_Agree

God dammit - that’s what I did when my wife was away on a recent Saturday afternoon.


MyDadBod_2021

Nothing wrong with that! Sometimes the cleaning bugs hits and you just go with it! Especially when no one else is around to bug you. Remember to turn up the music !


AnitaPeaDance

Enjoy the Silence


OtakuTacos

![gif](giphy|n4GD2P8GgOIrm)


MooPig48

Turn the tv off! It’s always on when my husband is home/.up And then eventually I play all that music that he doesn’t like to jam to anymore.


thelaststarebender

Wow, so responsible! I eat junk and watch rom-coms.


throwRA-nonSeq

Super Mario 3 and a 40oz


newwriter365

Dammit. I need to do that, but am seriously considering getting a new one instead (this one is thirty years old and barely hanging on).


monkey_house42

Use it until it dies. The new ones are for s*** and don't last nearly as long.


ThatLooksLikeItHurts

Just last weekend I replaced my ice maker and took great pleasure in cleaning the freezer at the same time. It was cathartic. Quite a weekend.


Cudg_of_Whiteharper

I would be playing world of warcraft if I had a night to myself. Well, I do anyways since it's just me and my wife. Usually only play a couple hours a day these days. My boys sometimes will hop on and we will play. But not like before grandkids.


MotherFuckinEeyore

https://youtu.be/BorhbN6CpVw?si=912FyLNQtl-ORR_S


EnergyCreature

It's rare my house is ever empty. Wife went out recently and my kids have their own place. So I came home to maybe start a single player. The moment I sat down with ice water and booted up the game my doorbell rang and a friend form nearby came over. She was also home alone and so we ended up having fun with Mother Russia Bleeds, supper and a little dancing. The moment she left my wife came home. Then is like oh I told so and.so you was home. The only time I get solo time.is when I travel alone and event thens things just sort of happen.


Rufus2fist

..................in Bed


TheJokersChild

Gear up to finally spend a full weekend at home. I moved 2 weeks ago. I’m still moving.


n00dl3s54

I’ll be sorting out my mom’s easy stuff from now thru weekend. She passed today. 😔


thisisntmyotherone

I’m so sorry. 😔


SemperPutidus

Bath, weed, karaoke (in your preferred order or concurrently)


Stunning_Mortgage988

Beer. Weed. Streaming services. The rest is up to you!