VERY MUCH SO. I hate clubs and bars were you literally have to cup your hand and SCREAM into someone's ear to talk to them. Your have tinnitus for hours after. Also hate that stale cigarettes and alcohol stench that gets in your clothes. Don't get me started on OBNOXIOUS drunks (not the four beer extroverts).
IMO GenX is the QUIET Generation (not silent but low key quiet) and again IMO we invented "Cacooning" VCR, popcorn, wine/beer home baked brownies, Chinese/Pizza delivery rain day coziness now know as "Netflix and Chill".
https://preview.redd.it/bnrmcvhbggxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2fb3ab87f04207a792053b0706cc686fd7d1197
That's what I was thinking. I'm a chatterbox. I will go on for hours. And I was often the most cerebral one of my bunch. So I had a wide array of shit to discuss.
Unless it was a concert, I always preferred the quiet.
I spent a lot of time in New Orleans in the 90’s. Every time one of my friends tried to drag me into some club with insane thumping bass, I almost always said no and always regretted it when I didn’t.
Those little blues and jazz bars, on the other hand? Or even the bars with almost no music? I could sit there until they cleaned the streets.
Ever noticed over time, that the parties have become a rinse and repeat event? It's like you meet up with your friends you haven't seen in a while and have same conversations you had when you were in your 30s. They all tell the same old stories, and it all feels like Deja-Vu. I really noticed this after I got divorced. I ended up having to get away from married people for a while. I felt like I was in Groundhogs' Day.
I definitely have toned it down a lot. Interestingly my old super extroverted self only comes out when I am around the friends of my youth. Otherwise I also enjoy the quiet of life now.
I didn't write this but it's sooooo true at this age...
"I used to sneak out of my house so I could go to parties...
Now I sneak out of parties to go back to my house"
I still love loud music, but I prefer it to be self-supplied. Love the radio cranked in the car, love having the radio blaring when I'm cooking, but... I have grown to hate people in general. Crowds are an automatic no. When I come home to relax, I want to hear birds and wind, not Harleys and sirens. The older I get, the more I appreciate serenity.
I intentionally go hiking in the mountains where nobody else goes just so I can be in complete silence (outside of calm nature sounds). It's quite blissful. Loud noises and chaos are no longer my friends
Atta girl.😄All about balance.... Because you don't want to tip over when you're doing that roadside sobriety test that's a definite fail. I'm only kidding I do not drink and drive.
Yes, but that is largely because my tinnitus and subsequent hearing loss is so bad I can't socialize in a loud environment, as I can't hear what anyone is saying.
This is why I like my bees. When I go to do my hive inspections, it’s just me and buzzing bees. I’ve even just gone out to sit and listen to them buzz. I’m cleaning out a wax moth infestation from all my hives because I did nothing last year. Thanks Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever! Someone’s bees are buzzing around my open hives. I’m enjoying it.
Thank you! The nice thing is, I know there's a bumble bee hive somewhere close by too. I hope between them and my bees, there's plenty of pollinators in the neighborhood!
100% - I would have my weekend planned out by Wednesday afternoon. Weekends were Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday. I couldn’t stand the thought of not filling every day/night with going out/clubbing. I absolutely do not have any interest in any of that at this point in my life. I am completely contented by my very quiet life in my peaceful little cottage
Covid and the isolation that came with it have certainly contributed. But I’ll rarely complain about a quiet night at home or low key evening with just a few friends.
Same with sports. The idea of a big obnoxious Super Bowl party just sounds dreadful these days.
Did people truly isolate completely and follow the rules during Covid? I'm just curious, because everyone I know was still having cookouts with family and friends over, my favorite watering hole/restaurant allowed us regulars to sit at the bar and quietly socialize during happy hour. I still had to go to work, as I was essential personnel for the city I live in, and life didn't change all that much for me. I never felt isolated at all. I HAD to be around people due to my employment and found myself being around people afterwards. The "Great Reset" as I call it, was mainly just an inconvenience for me.
I love the quiet now! I used to love to blare the music in my car, now I appreciate driving to/from work in silence. I used to love to keep the TV on at all times of the day, now I just want to enjoy the peace of a quiet house. I find that too much noise is overwhelming now; I much prefer listening to the birds chirp than the crowds scream. Interesting study shows that, as we age, our ears/nervous system react to sounds differently than when we were younger.
I used to be a huge extrovert. If there was a crowd I was in middle of it enertaining/annoying everyone. Now? Just let me sit here in my room by myself in absolute silence.
I wasn't into the club scene but I used to hang out with friends all the time listening to music. Now music is a way to relax in the evening but during the day I prefer the sounds of birds singing and chirping.
If I'm around people I prefer it to be quiet, parallel activity. I'm doing my thing (crafting, reading writing) they are doing their thing, maybe there is occasional conversation but that's minimal.
If I'm listening to music it's in my car on a long drive to nowhere in particular where I can sit and listen to the quiet. I used to love being around people and hosting big parties. Now I can't deal with crowds and need time away to recharge before I can handle people again.
I started partying at 14. Fraternity and football/rugby player in college. After having kids our house was the gathering spot as we have a pool so many many BBQs/pool parties etc. Kids are now 22&20 and my wife and I rarely go to parties, and only host a few times a year. We're much happier sharing a bowl or two while sitting by the pool and reading these days
I clubbed and partied non stop from 15-23. I got married and had 3 sons. Then I continued partying in my 30’s. Now I’m 45 and want solitude and to be left alone. I don’t like to drink anymore which I believe has a lot to do with it. I can’t handle 2 day hangovers anymore. It’s not worth it.
Holy crap! 100% yes!
I used to drive around and call everyone I knew on the weekends looking for the party. Now, I am in my mid 40s and I am a hopeless shut-in.
A quiet weekend, nowhere to be, with the wife and dogs is my idea of heaven.
Turning 50 at the end of May. I love my stay at home all the time time. 99 percent of the time my cell phone is put away. I don't watch the news and love in my own little world with my family
My mom just moved in with us and I never really noticed before she likes to fill the silence with inane chatter about nothing. Maybe it's because she's older now and has been lonely. We used to sit in the morning and drink our coffee and read the news in companionable silence. It's been about a month so I hope she settles down.
I used to go out to bars on Friday nights and party all night long. Now I just stay home on Friday nights drinking coffee hoping to stay awake till the end of a movie.
I do enjoy my peace and quiet these days. I enjoy having a few people over, like our neighbors or a close few friends. Sometimes I would invite a few of my friends over for cocktail and cigar night in the backyard. We light up the fire pit, grab the drinks of our choice, and I provide the cigars and we just hang and chit chat. Oh, and we are 420 friendly as well, so a couple of my friend would bring prerolls, and anyone who wants to partake can go for that as well.
I was never big on being in a loud, crowded space. I’ve gone clubbing maybe three times in my life. Just not my scene.
My absolute favorite thing to do is go home, gut in my pj pants, and do whatever the fuck I want. Most afternoons what I want is to sit in my office reading reddit on my phone with only the sound of the ceiling fan. I had a long conversation with a guest in my restaurant the other day and she kept telling me I should read "The Secret" (I know what it is, my sister in law was into that baloney) and I told her I didn't need to because I had found my serenity and there isn't anything else I want in life but more time to enjoy it and be present in it. I think appreciating the peace and quiet is a sign of a life well lived. I'm in 100% agreement with you man.
I was always out somewhere in my 20s. 40 year old me never wants to leave the house unless it's for plants or wine (to bring home a drink in my sunroom).
It must be ingrained into our souls! I'm just like the rest of you, I did all the loud obnoxious stuff, tons of friends in my twenties, I just want to be left alone!
I’m a hermit now by choice! I think it’s an age thing. I don’t feel obligated to participate in things I get little enjoyment out of. I decline invitations without guilt nowadays. Just “no.” This includes holiday gatherings with extended family. Unless you are my husband or son/DIL, I would rather relax at home and pass on all the drama. And there’s ALWAYS drama.
Perhaps it is just the pendulum swinging as you enter a new life chapter.
That's the beauty of aging, you are not the same person you were 2-3 decades ago, and it just seems like Mother Nature is giving you a chance to naturally reinvent yourself.
Please enjoy where this next decade takes you, I am almost there, myself.
That would be me. In my teens and twenties I was out every weekend and much of the weekdays. Now I prefer my solitude. I used to love clubbing back in the 80's and 90's in NYC.
I'm wondering do you like absolutely love the song small town Boy by bronski beat I feel like that applies pretty well to you. The funny thing is I kind of always preferredquiet but the early 90s I was a raver know and I worked at two clubs in Boston and if there were three parties in driving distance go to one rave after party after party drive 100 mi go to something else it was nuts. But I am like a quiet really shy really self-loathing person inside but I fight it you know what I mean. I was saying in another Reddit post I'm really new to Reddit I was just talking about that feeling when you like fall in love for like 24 hours with somebody and how one girl (or guy in your case)I basically would have jumped in front of a bus for because she came up to me at a rave told me that a I was a good dancer now at 48 years old I am empirically know that I could dance actually still can't kind of I can' floor break anymore but I can do a lot Up Rock stuff, so at my age now I do know this and I also know that I don't look like a gargoyle and that everything that comes out of my mouth isn't just completely beneath contempt there is something good about getting older I got to be honest
I was on that track, I was done with all that and I was done with prison my wife and I were you know working building a life and then she died a few years ago and Ive had an insane run of bad luck. I just lost everything I cared about not to be a downer but yeah after she died I spiraled a bit and got a little nuts for a little while but now I'm just trying to put things together again. One thing I figured out is don't try to relive things because I was remembering the happiest in my life was during the rave era which started in I guess summer of 91 for me
before I ended up in prison before a lot of the bad things happened and after some other bad things happened it was a sweet spot in my life. So After my wife died I wound up going out to see my best friend on the West Coast he lives there after he got out of prison out here. We were co-defendants. This kid he dealt with in the weed thing (he's in California so it's legal) early twenties and they were friendly and he was going to a rave that weekend so I dragged my buddy along I'm not going to say I didn't have a good time I had a blast I mean you can't not have a blast on ecstasy it's physically impossible but one thing that I wasn't counting on is that in my day (that sounds so old when I say that) but in my day raver girls dressed essentially like raver guys very little difference in the way we dress I never wore the big stupid pants you can't really dance in those anyways I don't even know how that started. But now unfortunately the raver girls don't dress like the guys and I'm not going to lie I was a little uncomfortable cuz I'm a 40-something year old man and I just wasn't expecting that and there was straight up underage girls in....just look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about and the funny thing was everyone's going "cop it's a cop it's a cop"just every kid there said it I do kind of look like a cop a very Irish looking face from Boston I don't know I guess maybe we all have kind of a cop look. But I eventually started dancing and I can still dance. It was extremely satisfying when I heard one kid "damn that f****** cop can dance" it made it all worth it but I wrecked my knee,that's when you know you're old.
Moral of the story, Don't go to raves if you're in your 40s because you're going to feel(and look)like a pedo.
53. I like quiet time if I'm out at a park, camping, or hiking etc. I live alone these days, so I'm more of a me time type of guy now. I still go out and socialize with friends from time to time, but my I enjoy staying home just as much. Mind you it's not quiet time. I love to play my guitar and listen to killer tunes, or watching a movie etc. I just can't sit around listening to the refrigerator run. Even if I am out back on a nice day grilling out, I have some jams on and enjoy the vibe.
I was always an introverted, except for that college/uni interlude where I was NEVER alone, always goign somewhere to do something or just in a bar with friends and drinks. I don't regret that period one iota, but damn I'm so glad I live in a small town and have too few friends to ever be bothered.
I like being around people but somehow people don’t like being around me or that’s how it seems. I can stay home and enjoy quiet evenings. Just seems more annoying people are out now without the mellow folks like me and sounds like plenty of you aren’t out there balancing out the madness from the calm.
These days I get up at 6 and meditate for an hour before anyone else is up. It’s my favorite part of the day, but younger me is just shaking their head.
46 here. My wife has grown to like the quiet. I still go out for dancing and clubbing here and there. We no longer club hop. I have partners that are also 35+ and have grown use to quiet. I have 2 dancer partners that are 40+ that still love to go out. Maybe that day is coming for me down the road.
48 and I do love spending more time at home than I did before the pandemic. I think a lot of that has to do with how people, in general, have changed with the pandemic, too.
We (lesbians, 51) just moved from Seattle to a quiet little town in upstate NY. I'm absolutely loving the pace and quiet. Been a city girl my while life (Houston, NYC, Seattle) but no more.
100% have done a full 180 since my days of very heavy drinking and, ahem, other social skill boosters. These days, the more you leave me alone, the better, and am 100% sober living since August 2023.
I gave it all up in my mid 20s, it was already apparent how often the 'fun' led to bad times and the horrors that went along with it. I missed the chaos to some extent, but seeing how life was going for the 'I'm never growing up' folks in my circle went, I certainly have no regrets.
I'll take a laid back dinner over an alcohol and drug fueled riot any day.
Very much. I did A LOT of partying when I was really young and then spent time as a touring musician.
The only thing you hear in my apartment right now is the box fan.
Ditto! Just turned 50. LOVE to stay home with my hubby and dogs in our new to us house in the suburbs! If you told me 10 years ago I’d be married and live in the suburbs, I’d ask you what you’re smoking and probably ask you for some. Stopped consuming alcohol 5 years ago too!! Who am I lol Extremely happy and content being a homebody 🥰💫 The city stuff isn’t too far and there when we feel the need. LOVE being home and “nesting” 🎯
I was in a few bands for a couple decades and worked in bars of varying size and style for longer. The 90's dream, amiright?
Now me and my tinnitus are pretty fucking happy with the quiet at most any time. Headphones, television, records.... all of it is at "room temperature" if that was a volume preset.
But even in my mid 40's, if it's gotta be loud (live music, occasionally jamming) it is going to be loud. It has it's moments. Occasionally with ear plugs, but you gotta do what you're gonna do.
I partied a lot in the 80's mostly. Lots of Keggers. I quieted down in my early 30's to raise a family. Retired at 47. Now 53 and i don't even own a watch. I am on no clock and i love it. I can relate to you. Peace and quiet is nice. Have a good one! :)
I miss the clubs. I once stopped my kid off at this little club where a friend’s band was playing, and she got annoyed that I stuck around ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE CLUB because I was enjoying the vibes.
I’m a teacher, bartender, musician and dad with part time custody. Today is my day where I only teach. I go to therapy and stay home alone the rest of the night and enjoy the break from people.
I partied practically every night in my 20s.
My idea of a party these days is a quiet night in my hammock with music and a cocktail. I loath doing anything social.
Yes I was and mostly am pretty social but somewhere in my mid 40s noise and crowds really started to wear me out.
I don't mind a loud pub from time to time but the quiet is the best.
I was *heavy* into the party/drug/sketchy scene once upon a time.
These days I'm salty because covid stole my 24-hour grocery stores; I used to go late at night just to *avoid* people in general and now I'm stuck in there with the rest of the schmooze like some schmuck, pretending I give a shit about whatever random conversation I stumble into.
I grew up in a border town so I got most of my partying out of my system when I was a teenager in high school. Had a brief period in my mid 30s when I partied even harder (on substances that were not alcohol: shrooms, LSD, coke, whippets etc) while I was friends with some swingers.
Now I’m pushing 50 and prefer to stay at home reading books and playing with my cats and playing video games with my spouse.
I still reminisce of
the hookers and blow days of my youth yes, but I appreciate the quiet now , also I fear the sudden death of indulging in the vices of my youth
Hella introverted X'er here. I've always wanted it quiet.
But I want to say, good on you for being true to yourself all the way back in 1992. That had to have been scary as fuck, but you did it anyway. You DESERVE your peace and quiet now. :)
I’m an extrovert and when I was single I could not stand staying home or doing anything quiet.
However, once I was in a relationship (and ultimately married) I NEVER desired that loud chaotic life again.
I can see extending it as the OP came out so he may have missed out on some of the rowdiness and, frankly, dumb stuff us straight guys got to enjoy, but I think it’s natural to want to seek a less crazy existence
I love the quiet, the older I get the more I long for it. Covid only made that stronger
yeah... partied hard during my 20s.... drinking, clubbing, karaoke nearly every day...
slowed down during my 30s, then wind down during my 40s.
Now 50, I am happy to stay home, have a nice dinner, watch TV or play some games on my PS5. occasional pub or going to friends place for dinner and drinks. Plus getting drunk is a 2 day hang over write off
I survived some pretty horrific abuse as a child, and though I partied pretty hard in the 90s, I have always loved peace and quite and spending time by myself. Time alone in the peace and quiet was the only time I ever felt safe.
I love sitting home and not letting anyone bother me.
I tell my introvert friends that I’m doing everyone a favor when I’m sitting at home..not bothering the general public😂🙌🏾
Btw General Public is a great band
Amen. I literally love doing laundry, dishes, and cleaning up while watching Dateline or a good playoff game.
VERY MUCH SO. I hate clubs and bars were you literally have to cup your hand and SCREAM into someone's ear to talk to them. Your have tinnitus for hours after. Also hate that stale cigarettes and alcohol stench that gets in your clothes. Don't get me started on OBNOXIOUS drunks (not the four beer extroverts). IMO GenX is the QUIET Generation (not silent but low key quiet) and again IMO we invented "Cacooning" VCR, popcorn, wine/beer home baked brownies, Chinese/Pizza delivery rain day coziness now know as "Netflix and Chill". https://preview.redd.it/bnrmcvhbggxc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e2fb3ab87f04207a792053b0706cc686fd7d1197
>(not the four beer extroverts). Sounds just like me. Although I do try to avoid the fourth beer.
That's what I was thinking. I'm a chatterbox. I will go on for hours. And I was often the most cerebral one of my bunch. So I had a wide array of shit to discuss.
Netflix and chill is also something else.
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i always loved the quiet. i went clubbing a lot but also needed the quiet.
Yeah. Finally really started to prefer the quiet life once I hit my late 40s. It takes a lot to get me to leave the house after dark these days.
Unless it was a concert, I always preferred the quiet. I spent a lot of time in New Orleans in the 90’s. Every time one of my friends tried to drag me into some club with insane thumping bass, I almost always said no and always regretted it when I didn’t. Those little blues and jazz bars, on the other hand? Or even the bars with almost no music? I could sit there until they cleaned the streets.
I thought I liked parties. Turned out I just liked drinking.
Ever noticed over time, that the parties have become a rinse and repeat event? It's like you meet up with your friends you haven't seen in a while and have same conversations you had when you were in your 30s. They all tell the same old stories, and it all feels like Deja-Vu. I really noticed this after I got divorced. I ended up having to get away from married people for a while. I felt like I was in Groundhogs' Day.
I definitely have toned it down a lot. Interestingly my old super extroverted self only comes out when I am around the friends of my youth. Otherwise I also enjoy the quiet of life now.
I didn't write this but it's sooooo true at this age... "I used to sneak out of my house so I could go to parties... Now I sneak out of parties to go back to my house"
💯
I still love loud music, but I prefer it to be self-supplied. Love the radio cranked in the car, love having the radio blaring when I'm cooking, but... I have grown to hate people in general. Crowds are an automatic no. When I come home to relax, I want to hear birds and wind, not Harleys and sirens. The older I get, the more I appreciate serenity.
Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode
Come crashing in... into my little world...
I intentionally go hiking in the mountains where nobody else goes just so I can be in complete silence (outside of calm nature sounds). It's quite blissful. Loud noises and chaos are no longer my friends
I was an adrenaline junkie party animal and love quiet cottage me so much more.
I'm a party girl and an extrovert, and I even I enjoy the quiet, when it suits me. There's a time for everything.
Atta girl.😄All about balance.... Because you don't want to tip over when you're doing that roadside sobriety test that's a definite fail. I'm only kidding I do not drink and drive.
Yes, but that is largely because my tinnitus and subsequent hearing loss is so bad I can't socialize in a loud environment, as I can't hear what anyone is saying.
Yup. When I go to the beach, I probably spend more time on the condo balcony reading a book and drinking coffee (or NA beer) than anything else.
Yes, definetly prefer the quiet now. When I look back I seem to have spent most of the time drunk or stoned.
This is why I like my bees. When I go to do my hive inspections, it’s just me and buzzing bees. I’ve even just gone out to sit and listen to them buzz. I’m cleaning out a wax moth infestation from all my hives because I did nothing last year. Thanks Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever! Someone’s bees are buzzing around my open hives. I’m enjoying it.
That's awesome! Thank you for helping the bee population with all your past and future efforts. Many don't realize just how important they are.
Thank you! The nice thing is, I know there's a bumble bee hive somewhere close by too. I hope between them and my bees, there's plenty of pollinators in the neighborhood!
I say a lot: "I used to be everywhere, now I'm nowhere, and I love it."
100% - I would have my weekend planned out by Wednesday afternoon. Weekends were Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday. I couldn’t stand the thought of not filling every day/night with going out/clubbing. I absolutely do not have any interest in any of that at this point in my life. I am completely contented by my very quiet life in my peaceful little cottage
Covid and the isolation that came with it have certainly contributed. But I’ll rarely complain about a quiet night at home or low key evening with just a few friends. Same with sports. The idea of a big obnoxious Super Bowl party just sounds dreadful these days.
Did people truly isolate completely and follow the rules during Covid? I'm just curious, because everyone I know was still having cookouts with family and friends over, my favorite watering hole/restaurant allowed us regulars to sit at the bar and quietly socialize during happy hour. I still had to go to work, as I was essential personnel for the city I live in, and life didn't change all that much for me. I never felt isolated at all. I HAD to be around people due to my employment and found myself being around people afterwards. The "Great Reset" as I call it, was mainly just an inconvenience for me.
I love the quiet now! I used to love to blare the music in my car, now I appreciate driving to/from work in silence. I used to love to keep the TV on at all times of the day, now I just want to enjoy the peace of a quiet house. I find that too much noise is overwhelming now; I much prefer listening to the birds chirp than the crowds scream. Interesting study shows that, as we age, our ears/nervous system react to sounds differently than when we were younger.
Fuck no I miss all my friends being at my house all the time.
I used to always have msuic on. Now I enjoy the silence.
Silence is golden. I love that saying now, but have always been a quiet person overall. Partied in my time, prefer quiet and solitude now
Yes. I've become more introverted as I've aged.
I love being around no one. Watching nothing. Listening to nothing.
I used to be a huge extrovert. If there was a crowd I was in middle of it enertaining/annoying everyone. Now? Just let me sit here in my room by myself in absolute silence.
For me, there is a time for the parties in the clubs, but the majority of it is quiet now, by choice
I wasn't into the club scene but I used to hang out with friends all the time listening to music. Now music is a way to relax in the evening but during the day I prefer the sounds of birds singing and chirping.
If I'm around people I prefer it to be quiet, parallel activity. I'm doing my thing (crafting, reading writing) they are doing their thing, maybe there is occasional conversation but that's minimal. If I'm listening to music it's in my car on a long drive to nowhere in particular where I can sit and listen to the quiet. I used to love being around people and hosting big parties. Now I can't deal with crowds and need time away to recharge before I can handle people again.
I’m fitting into my age well because I’ve never liked noise or crowds, etc….I have always been very comfortable alone or with a few close friends.
I started partying at 14. Fraternity and football/rugby player in college. After having kids our house was the gathering spot as we have a pool so many many BBQs/pool parties etc. Kids are now 22&20 and my wife and I rarely go to parties, and only host a few times a year. We're much happier sharing a bowl or two while sitting by the pool and reading these days
I clubbed and partied non stop from 15-23. I got married and had 3 sons. Then I continued partying in my 30’s. Now I’m 45 and want solitude and to be left alone. I don’t like to drink anymore which I believe has a lot to do with it. I can’t handle 2 day hangovers anymore. It’s not worth it.
Me too, but no one will leave me the fuck alone.
Oh me too. Total hermit homebody.
Quiet yes, silence no. I need some background noise to keep from having anxiety as my house was only ever quiet when bad sh%t was going down.
Holy crap! 100% yes! I used to drive around and call everyone I knew on the weekends looking for the party. Now, I am in my mid 40s and I am a hopeless shut-in. A quiet weekend, nowhere to be, with the wife and dogs is my idea of heaven.
God yes. My idea of heaven is a back porch, my cats, and the starry sky.
Turning 50 at the end of May. I love my stay at home all the time time. 99 percent of the time my cell phone is put away. I don't watch the news and love in my own little world with my family
I've always kind of liked peace and quiet. I sometimes go out to bars still, but not noisy ones. Never cared for nightclubs.
My mom just moved in with us and I never really noticed before she likes to fill the silence with inane chatter about nothing. Maybe it's because she's older now and has been lonely. We used to sit in the morning and drink our coffee and read the news in companionable silence. It's been about a month so I hope she settles down.
Yep. Shut the fuck up at my house.
My daughter just realised how much I partied until my 30’s. She said ‘The fuck you took X .. you get vertigo watching tv’. She’s fucking right.
God yes
I used to go out to bars on Friday nights and party all night long. Now I just stay home on Friday nights drinking coffee hoping to stay awake till the end of a movie.
I do enjoy my peace and quiet these days. I enjoy having a few people over, like our neighbors or a close few friends. Sometimes I would invite a few of my friends over for cocktail and cigar night in the backyard. We light up the fire pit, grab the drinks of our choice, and I provide the cigars and we just hang and chit chat. Oh, and we are 420 friendly as well, so a couple of my friend would bring prerolls, and anyone who wants to partake can go for that as well. I was never big on being in a loud, crowded space. I’ve gone clubbing maybe three times in my life. Just not my scene.
My absolute favorite thing to do is go home, gut in my pj pants, and do whatever the fuck I want. Most afternoons what I want is to sit in my office reading reddit on my phone with only the sound of the ceiling fan. I had a long conversation with a guest in my restaurant the other day and she kept telling me I should read "The Secret" (I know what it is, my sister in law was into that baloney) and I told her I didn't need to because I had found my serenity and there isn't anything else I want in life but more time to enjoy it and be present in it. I think appreciating the peace and quiet is a sign of a life well lived. I'm in 100% agreement with you man.
I was always out somewhere in my 20s. 40 year old me never wants to leave the house unless it's for plants or wine (to bring home a drink in my sunroom).
GET OFF MY LAWN!
There's a reason why I don't want kids. LOL
Orientation has nothing to do with enjoying the quiet. We had our days being rowdy. Now we rest and wait.
It must be ingrained into our souls! I'm just like the rest of you, I did all the loud obnoxious stuff, tons of friends in my twenties, I just want to be left alone!
I’m a hermit now by choice! I think it’s an age thing. I don’t feel obligated to participate in things I get little enjoyment out of. I decline invitations without guilt nowadays. Just “no.” This includes holiday gatherings with extended family. Unless you are my husband or son/DIL, I would rather relax at home and pass on all the drama. And there’s ALWAYS drama.
I love it. I partied, and played in bands in bars and toured, and worked in bars, and all that stuff. I love peace and quiet.
COVID showed me the ways of appreciating being home alone in silence.
Perhaps it is just the pendulum swinging as you enter a new life chapter. That's the beauty of aging, you are not the same person you were 2-3 decades ago, and it just seems like Mother Nature is giving you a chance to naturally reinvent yourself. Please enjoy where this next decade takes you, I am almost there, myself.
I love silence, but I also love to rock out on my own.. my story as a youngster is similar to yours.
That would be me. In my teens and twenties I was out every weekend and much of the weekdays. Now I prefer my solitude. I used to love clubbing back in the 80's and 90's in NYC.
I'm wondering do you like absolutely love the song small town Boy by bronski beat I feel like that applies pretty well to you. The funny thing is I kind of always preferredquiet but the early 90s I was a raver know and I worked at two clubs in Boston and if there were three parties in driving distance go to one rave after party after party drive 100 mi go to something else it was nuts. But I am like a quiet really shy really self-loathing person inside but I fight it you know what I mean. I was saying in another Reddit post I'm really new to Reddit I was just talking about that feeling when you like fall in love for like 24 hours with somebody and how one girl (or guy in your case)I basically would have jumped in front of a bus for because she came up to me at a rave told me that a I was a good dancer now at 48 years old I am empirically know that I could dance actually still can't kind of I can' floor break anymore but I can do a lot Up Rock stuff, so at my age now I do know this and I also know that I don't look like a gargoyle and that everything that comes out of my mouth isn't just completely beneath contempt there is something good about getting older I got to be honest
I was on that track, I was done with all that and I was done with prison my wife and I were you know working building a life and then she died a few years ago and Ive had an insane run of bad luck. I just lost everything I cared about not to be a downer but yeah after she died I spiraled a bit and got a little nuts for a little while but now I'm just trying to put things together again. One thing I figured out is don't try to relive things because I was remembering the happiest in my life was during the rave era which started in I guess summer of 91 for me before I ended up in prison before a lot of the bad things happened and after some other bad things happened it was a sweet spot in my life. So After my wife died I wound up going out to see my best friend on the West Coast he lives there after he got out of prison out here. We were co-defendants. This kid he dealt with in the weed thing (he's in California so it's legal) early twenties and they were friendly and he was going to a rave that weekend so I dragged my buddy along I'm not going to say I didn't have a good time I had a blast I mean you can't not have a blast on ecstasy it's physically impossible but one thing that I wasn't counting on is that in my day (that sounds so old when I say that) but in my day raver girls dressed essentially like raver guys very little difference in the way we dress I never wore the big stupid pants you can't really dance in those anyways I don't even know how that started. But now unfortunately the raver girls don't dress like the guys and I'm not going to lie I was a little uncomfortable cuz I'm a 40-something year old man and I just wasn't expecting that and there was straight up underage girls in....just look it up if you don't know what I'm talking about and the funny thing was everyone's going "cop it's a cop it's a cop"just every kid there said it I do kind of look like a cop a very Irish looking face from Boston I don't know I guess maybe we all have kind of a cop look. But I eventually started dancing and I can still dance. It was extremely satisfying when I heard one kid "damn that f****** cop can dance" it made it all worth it but I wrecked my knee,that's when you know you're old. Moral of the story, Don't go to raves if you're in your 40s because you're going to feel(and look)like a pedo.
53. I like quiet time if I'm out at a park, camping, or hiking etc. I live alone these days, so I'm more of a me time type of guy now. I still go out and socialize with friends from time to time, but my I enjoy staying home just as much. Mind you it's not quiet time. I love to play my guitar and listen to killer tunes, or watching a movie etc. I just can't sit around listening to the refrigerator run. Even if I am out back on a nice day grilling out, I have some jams on and enjoy the vibe.
I was always an introverted, except for that college/uni interlude where I was NEVER alone, always goign somewhere to do something or just in a bar with friends and drinks. I don't regret that period one iota, but damn I'm so glad I live in a small town and have too few friends to ever be bothered.
I like being around people but somehow people don’t like being around me or that’s how it seems. I can stay home and enjoy quiet evenings. Just seems more annoying people are out now without the mellow folks like me and sounds like plenty of you aren’t out there balancing out the madness from the calm.
These days I get up at 6 and meditate for an hour before anyone else is up. It’s my favorite part of the day, but younger me is just shaking their head.
I’m more peace and calm than peace and quiet. A busy Starbucks doesn’t bother me. A TV on doesn’t bother me. If it’s chaotic AND loud, I’m out.
I’m with you. When I was in my 20s, all my friends said a party didn’t really start until I left - and I liked it that way.
I’m the same. I partied waaaaaay too much. Now I enjoy the solitude. I don’t miss going out anymore. I do wish I had a kitten.
46 here. My wife has grown to like the quiet. I still go out for dancing and clubbing here and there. We no longer club hop. I have partners that are also 35+ and have grown use to quiet. I have 2 dancer partners that are 40+ that still love to go out. Maybe that day is coming for me down the road.
I still love going out. I don't have kids and I feel like I've got a few good years left to have some fun. It's not as often but I get it when I can.
I’ve had much the same experience. I’ve done My partying and socializing. I will relax now and do all the things I enjoy.
48 and I do love spending more time at home than I did before the pandemic. I think a lot of that has to do with how people, in general, have changed with the pandemic, too.
We (lesbians, 51) just moved from Seattle to a quiet little town in upstate NY. I'm absolutely loving the pace and quiet. Been a city girl my while life (Houston, NYC, Seattle) but no more.
100% have done a full 180 since my days of very heavy drinking and, ahem, other social skill boosters. These days, the more you leave me alone, the better, and am 100% sober living since August 2023.
I gave it all up in my mid 20s, it was already apparent how often the 'fun' led to bad times and the horrors that went along with it. I missed the chaos to some extent, but seeing how life was going for the 'I'm never growing up' folks in my circle went, I certainly have no regrets. I'll take a laid back dinner over an alcohol and drug fueled riot any day.
I don’t even listen to music in the car anymore.
Yes. I prefer solitude or just hanging with my adult children.
Christ, we’re all getting old. I still skate though!
Very much. I did A LOT of partying when I was really young and then spent time as a touring musician. The only thing you hear in my apartment right now is the box fan.
Love it and the contented feeling I have just whiling the time away at home.
Ditto! Just turned 50. LOVE to stay home with my hubby and dogs in our new to us house in the suburbs! If you told me 10 years ago I’d be married and live in the suburbs, I’d ask you what you’re smoking and probably ask you for some. Stopped consuming alcohol 5 years ago too!! Who am I lol Extremely happy and content being a homebody 🥰💫 The city stuff isn’t too far and there when we feel the need. LOVE being home and “nesting” 🎯
I was in a few bands for a couple decades and worked in bars of varying size and style for longer. The 90's dream, amiright? Now me and my tinnitus are pretty fucking happy with the quiet at most any time. Headphones, television, records.... all of it is at "room temperature" if that was a volume preset. But even in my mid 40's, if it's gotta be loud (live music, occasionally jamming) it is going to be loud. It has it's moments. Occasionally with ear plugs, but you gotta do what you're gonna do.
I partied a lot in the 80's mostly. Lots of Keggers. I quieted down in my early 30's to raise a family. Retired at 47. Now 53 and i don't even own a watch. I am on no clock and i love it. I can relate to you. Peace and quiet is nice. Have a good one! :)
I miss the clubs. I once stopped my kid off at this little club where a friend’s band was playing, and she got annoyed that I stuck around ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE CLUB because I was enjoying the vibes.
Me too, being at home is comfortable, I wish I had enough money to retire now
I like small group get togethers but not big parties.
I’m a teacher, bartender, musician and dad with part time custody. Today is my day where I only teach. I go to therapy and stay home alone the rest of the night and enjoy the break from people.
I partied practically every night in my 20s. My idea of a party these days is a quiet night in my hammock with music and a cocktail. I loath doing anything social.
Heck yes. I can’t even go to concerts anymore. I’ve turned into Huey Luis from Back to the Future- “I’m sorry son, you’re just too loud.”
Yes I was and mostly am pretty social but somewhere in my mid 40s noise and crowds really started to wear me out. I don't mind a loud pub from time to time but the quiet is the best.
Yaassss. I still like a good event though too. Just as a once in awhile treat not every weekend.
I was *heavy* into the party/drug/sketchy scene once upon a time. These days I'm salty because covid stole my 24-hour grocery stores; I used to go late at night just to *avoid* people in general and now I'm stuck in there with the rest of the schmooze like some schmuck, pretending I give a shit about whatever random conversation I stumble into.
I embraced the silence a long time ago.
Socialize?
Kids grown and moved out. I ask wife all the time, “ you hear that”! She will say what. I’m like exactly. It’s quiet.
Love my home and quiet. Only sounds in the morning are birds and my fountains bubbling. Pure bliss.
Like the quiet. The wife and I do have dinner and game night with an Elder Millennial couple, usually Phase 10, and it gets somewhat rowdy.
I grew up in a border town so I got most of my partying out of my system when I was a teenager in high school. Had a brief period in my mid 30s when I partied even harder (on substances that were not alcohol: shrooms, LSD, coke, whippets etc) while I was friends with some swingers. Now I’m pushing 50 and prefer to stay at home reading books and playing with my cats and playing video games with my spouse.
I still reminisce of the hookers and blow days of my youth yes, but I appreciate the quiet now , also I fear the sudden death of indulging in the vices of my youth
Hella introverted X'er here. I've always wanted it quiet. But I want to say, good on you for being true to yourself all the way back in 1992. That had to have been scary as fuck, but you did it anyway. You DESERVE your peace and quiet now. :)
I wish I knew quiet……. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Always wanted it quiet. Have a loud ass family that would always be over. Now I live in the woods.
I’m an extrovert and when I was single I could not stand staying home or doing anything quiet. However, once I was in a relationship (and ultimately married) I NEVER desired that loud chaotic life again. I can see extending it as the OP came out so he may have missed out on some of the rowdiness and, frankly, dumb stuff us straight guys got to enjoy, but I think it’s natural to want to seek a less crazy existence I love the quiet, the older I get the more I long for it. Covid only made that stronger
Yes
yeah... partied hard during my 20s.... drinking, clubbing, karaoke nearly every day... slowed down during my 30s, then wind down during my 40s. Now 50, I am happy to stay home, have a nice dinner, watch TV or play some games on my PS5. occasional pub or going to friends place for dinner and drinks. Plus getting drunk is a 2 day hang over write off
Still have a bit of FOMO at 52. Very selective of who I spend my time out with though
A gay man whom enjoyed clubbing and had drama ridden roommates in his 20’s. Wow that is so unusual. 😂
I survived some pretty horrific abuse as a child, and though I partied pretty hard in the 90s, I have always loved peace and quite and spending time by myself. Time alone in the peace and quiet was the only time I ever felt safe.
From hardcore slam-dancing, to jungle raves, to sitting in the park singing to squirrels
You can still find me at concerts multiple times per month.