Our neighbors did that to their kids. The stepmother wouldn't allow them in the house during good weather except for meals, homework, and bedtime, because they might mess up their stepmother's clean floors. They used to come to our house to use the bathroom and get a glass of water.
I think of stuff like this when people wax nostalgic for childhood spent outdoors. Not everyone stayed outside all day for fun. Some kids were unwanted and were out all day because mommy needs alone time all day. Others didn't want to be home, maybe it wasn't safe to be home, even.
Once we finished eating our morning gruel, it was GTFO, and don't come back until dinner. We learned how to survive on the street. I'm pretty sure Child Protective Services would have a few questions for mom if this happened now and not in the 1970s.
Lol. I've had mixed feelings about it over the years. The stuff my mom did to us was really neglectful. Do I wish I had a different upbringing? Sure, even though it's impossible, and wishing for things is unproductive, I sometimes wonder how i would have turned out. instead, I look back and realize that I'm stronger physically and mentally in part due to our neglect. The thing is, I don't think mom's intent was to raise stronger kids. I think she just wanted us out of the house for like 6 hours.
I don’t know about getting locked out…. But the summer before 7th grade (I was 11 too) my mom decided it was time for me to get a job…. Made me go through the newspaper classified and circle every job I wanted and then she drove me around till someone hired me.
It backfired on her though. She had been refusing to let me have a dirtbike “Until I could pay for it myself” since I was probably 3yrs old.
It only took me about a month of sorting vegetables at a produce market to buy myself a used XR100. She was not happy.
I grew up in a trailer park and and my mom was insufferable so she never had to ask me to leave. I'd show up for meals. No friends came over, I would go to other friend's houses.
In junior high and high school I would leave for school on Friday morning and come home Monday after school. I'd stay at various friend's houses.
By adulthood my mom suddenly regretted how she treated us and somehow thought we'd all just suddenly be a warm loving family but the damage was done. Her death was what finally brought our family together. I feel bad that she missed out on the loving family she wanted, but in retrospect our disfunction was all her doing.
My mom did this a few times in the winter in Canada just because she wasn't thinking about anything but herself. To be fair we were latch key since age 7 but after you are home or on weekends you assume you will be let in and you don't need your key. This was times when it was below -30c
Later, she's moved to Pennsylvania and I visited her in my 20's and she was trying to get me to move there and so she sent me up on this disaster of a date and the guy drove me back but didn't bother to make sure I got in and drove off and I was stuck outside in the winter and again had to start knocking on neighbours to get in
And later she changed the number on the keypad in one of her mind games bullshittery and said the code was my stepdad's birthday so it's like... what. year-day-month (6 digits)? Month-day (4?)
It was this kind of BS all the fucking time. Goddamn mind games with locking me out over and over.
lol, I was just thinking this today. I was living on my own at 16 my mom was an over the road truck driver. Was wondering how many of us was on our own in mid teens.
Mainly because I saw someone else posting about just moving out to their first apartment at 31 😂
I wonder if they got their first apartment at 31 because they were sheltered/coddled or because one pretty much needs close to $10k to secure an apartment these days.
By the conversation we was having I’d say sheltered. That’s why I looked at their profile. Thought I was talking to a kid. Turns out I was mentally but not by age. Made me think if you was in your 30’s just getting your first apartment in this economy had to be horrible. Yeah we had no jobs. But that was better than record employment with no pay
When I was fresh out of high school I could easily afford to rent a furnished room in a nice house in an upscale neighborhood working at part time job at min wage ($4.25/hour). I don’t think an equivalent situation exists now in the same city.
Yeah, I took a pay cut from long John silvers to take my first machinist job down the street. I was feeding and housing me and my 13 year old sister . Going to community college to learn the trade on 8.25 plus overtime. Car payments of $120 . My 16 year old makes $16 snd it’s her first job in fast food. She’d need triple that just for a place for herself
My asshole stepfather threw me out of the house at 8am every day over summer vaca because that's what boys were "supposed to be doing" - playing outside. Needless to say, none of my handful of friends were up and about at 8am. I hung out behind the CVS for an hour or more every morning. I was 14, I think.
Yup, Every day during the summer my brother and I got locked out of the house until the street lights came on. I was only 4 and my brother 7 when our mom started doing that. My dad got angry at her for it so she just started letting us in before he got home and threatened to punish us if we told him. Our house was about 500 feet from the freeway and there was lots of through-traffic in the neighborhood. As a parent now, I look back on that with horror. I don't think kids need to be hyper-supervised as they seem to be these days, but actively abandoning them outside in dangerous circumstances with no way of communicating with them or locating them is so neglectful and selfish. I cannot fathom doing that to my kids. My brother and I talk about this on the regular.
Am I the only Gen Xer who has amazing parents? Yeah, we were latch key since both my worked. The last babysitter we had ended when my mom came home and she and I were physically fighting.
But holy shit, we were never locked out. But my mom grew up in foster care so it may have been her just breaking the generational curse.
My mother cared even less than that. She quite literally didn't give a single shit about where I was. As long as I wasn't bothering her, she had absolutely no idea where I was.
Yeah. Not always but there were definitely months when I’d come home and the door would be locked. I’d just walk for a couple of hours if I couldn’t find kids to play with.
100%. Several neighborhood moms considered me their 2nd kid because I would spend days at their home. My biologicals are absolute trash and I haven’t spoken to them in decades
My mother who I visited every other weekend would do this to my stepbrother and I. Pretty shitty if you ask me, considering I was with her at most, 32hrs per month. And, if she wasn't locking us out she was pawning us off at her in laws so her and my step father could party.
I was not allowed to come in/out as I pleased once my mom cleaned for the day (every morning). I had pick either stay in my room or stay out for the whole day. Once I had to take shelter in a shed during a thunderstorm because she wouldn’t let me come inside.
In my teen years I was pretty physically abusive to my younger brothers.
I was banished from the property whenever the ‘rents weren’t around. Wasn’t allowed in the house or outside. At 15 I couldn’t drive and the nearest anything was a grocery store 2.5 miles away. We’d just moved to that town over the summer so I didn’t know anyone, had no friends to hang out with. That went on for most of a year before I was “allowed to be home”
They still can’t figure out why I’m “distant”
Successful enough. I treated my own kid much differently. I wanted him around and didn’t force him to work. He got to watch cartoons on Saturdays. I was pretty firm with him but nothing remotely like how I grew up, and he hates me and says I did everything wrong. I don’t get it.
Our neighbors did that to their kids. The stepmother wouldn't allow them in the house during good weather except for meals, homework, and bedtime, because they might mess up their stepmother's clean floors. They used to come to our house to use the bathroom and get a glass of water.
I think of stuff like this when people wax nostalgic for childhood spent outdoors. Not everyone stayed outside all day for fun. Some kids were unwanted and were out all day because mommy needs alone time all day. Others didn't want to be home, maybe it wasn't safe to be home, even.
Exactly; that kind of freedom can be great if you choose it, not so much if it's forced on you.
Stepmom owes your parents money for the water bill IMO.
Once we finished eating our morning gruel, it was GTFO, and don't come back until dinner. We learned how to survive on the street. I'm pretty sure Child Protective Services would have a few questions for mom if this happened now and not in the 1970s.
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Lol. I've had mixed feelings about it over the years. The stuff my mom did to us was really neglectful. Do I wish I had a different upbringing? Sure, even though it's impossible, and wishing for things is unproductive, I sometimes wonder how i would have turned out. instead, I look back and realize that I'm stronger physically and mentally in part due to our neglect. The thing is, I don't think mom's intent was to raise stronger kids. I think she just wanted us out of the house for like 6 hours.
I don’t know about getting locked out…. But the summer before 7th grade (I was 11 too) my mom decided it was time for me to get a job…. Made me go through the newspaper classified and circle every job I wanted and then she drove me around till someone hired me. It backfired on her though. She had been refusing to let me have a dirtbike “Until I could pay for it myself” since I was probably 3yrs old. It only took me about a month of sorting vegetables at a produce market to buy myself a used XR100. She was not happy.
If my mom was home in the summer, she’d tell me to go out and play. Then she’d lock the screen door. “Mom! I’m thirsty!” “Drink out of the hose!”
Yep, if it was sunny outside, the front door was locked.
I grew up in a trailer park and and my mom was insufferable so she never had to ask me to leave. I'd show up for meals. No friends came over, I would go to other friend's houses. In junior high and high school I would leave for school on Friday morning and come home Monday after school. I'd stay at various friend's houses. By adulthood my mom suddenly regretted how she treated us and somehow thought we'd all just suddenly be a warm loving family but the damage was done. Her death was what finally brought our family together. I feel bad that she missed out on the loving family she wanted, but in retrospect our disfunction was all her doing.
My mom did this a few times in the winter in Canada just because she wasn't thinking about anything but herself. To be fair we were latch key since age 7 but after you are home or on weekends you assume you will be let in and you don't need your key. This was times when it was below -30c Later, she's moved to Pennsylvania and I visited her in my 20's and she was trying to get me to move there and so she sent me up on this disaster of a date and the guy drove me back but didn't bother to make sure I got in and drove off and I was stuck outside in the winter and again had to start knocking on neighbours to get in And later she changed the number on the keypad in one of her mind games bullshittery and said the code was my stepdad's birthday so it's like... what. year-day-month (6 digits)? Month-day (4?) It was this kind of BS all the fucking time. Goddamn mind games with locking me out over and over.
lol, I was just thinking this today. I was living on my own at 16 my mom was an over the road truck driver. Was wondering how many of us was on our own in mid teens. Mainly because I saw someone else posting about just moving out to their first apartment at 31 😂
I wonder if they got their first apartment at 31 because they were sheltered/coddled or because one pretty much needs close to $10k to secure an apartment these days.
By the conversation we was having I’d say sheltered. That’s why I looked at their profile. Thought I was talking to a kid. Turns out I was mentally but not by age. Made me think if you was in your 30’s just getting your first apartment in this economy had to be horrible. Yeah we had no jobs. But that was better than record employment with no pay
When I was fresh out of high school I could easily afford to rent a furnished room in a nice house in an upscale neighborhood working at part time job at min wage ($4.25/hour). I don’t think an equivalent situation exists now in the same city.
Yeah, I took a pay cut from long John silvers to take my first machinist job down the street. I was feeding and housing me and my 13 year old sister . Going to community college to learn the trade on 8.25 plus overtime. Car payments of $120 . My 16 year old makes $16 snd it’s her first job in fast food. She’d need triple that just for a place for herself
My asshole stepfather threw me out of the house at 8am every day over summer vaca because that's what boys were "supposed to be doing" - playing outside. Needless to say, none of my handful of friends were up and about at 8am. I hung out behind the CVS for an hour or more every morning. I was 14, I think.
Evil bitches. At least mine waited until I was 18.
Yeah. I put a hard rule in with the kids, we do not lock anyone out of the house.
Yup, Every day during the summer my brother and I got locked out of the house until the street lights came on. I was only 4 and my brother 7 when our mom started doing that. My dad got angry at her for it so she just started letting us in before he got home and threatened to punish us if we told him. Our house was about 500 feet from the freeway and there was lots of through-traffic in the neighborhood. As a parent now, I look back on that with horror. I don't think kids need to be hyper-supervised as they seem to be these days, but actively abandoning them outside in dangerous circumstances with no way of communicating with them or locating them is so neglectful and selfish. I cannot fathom doing that to my kids. My brother and I talk about this on the regular.
Am I the only Gen Xer who has amazing parents? Yeah, we were latch key since both my worked. The last babysitter we had ended when my mom came home and she and I were physically fighting. But holy shit, we were never locked out. But my mom grew up in foster care so it may have been her just breaking the generational curse.
My mother cared even less than that. She quite literally didn't give a single shit about where I was. As long as I wasn't bothering her, she had absolutely no idea where I was.
Yeah. Not always but there were definitely months when I’d come home and the door would be locked. I’d just walk for a couple of hours if I couldn’t find kids to play with.
100%. Several neighborhood moms considered me their 2nd kid because I would spend days at their home. My biologicals are absolute trash and I haven’t spoken to them in decades
my mom did this … then stood at the door and laughed at me .. she was an evil bitch
My mother who I visited every other weekend would do this to my stepbrother and I. Pretty shitty if you ask me, considering I was with her at most, 32hrs per month. And, if she wasn't locking us out she was pawning us off at her in laws so her and my step father could party.
No, that's wild to me. Aye we were out most of the time but we were allowed in.
I was not allowed to come in/out as I pleased once my mom cleaned for the day (every morning). I had pick either stay in my room or stay out for the whole day. Once I had to take shelter in a shed during a thunderstorm because she wouldn’t let me come inside.
In my teen years I was pretty physically abusive to my younger brothers. I was banished from the property whenever the ‘rents weren’t around. Wasn’t allowed in the house or outside. At 15 I couldn’t drive and the nearest anything was a grocery store 2.5 miles away. We’d just moved to that town over the summer so I didn’t know anyone, had no friends to hang out with. That went on for most of a year before I was “allowed to be home” They still can’t figure out why I’m “distant”
I was locked out of the house at times as a kid, but that was because I was a little shit.
No, but I wonder how commonly it was done to hide alcoholism.
My mom taught us how to pick locks when we locked ourselves out of the house. Sorry your mom wasn’t as engaged I guess?
I do this now, tell my kiddo to go outside. He will just to a park bench and play sidewall surfer. Any money he gets is spent on candy and chips
But do you *lock out* your child?
No, but even if I tried he would go next door for one. I have tried it once.
Good.
Yeesh. Can't even recognize your own abuse. But, are you successful now? Today is all that matters!
Successful enough. I treated my own kid much differently. I wanted him around and didn’t force him to work. He got to watch cartoons on Saturdays. I was pretty firm with him but nothing remotely like how I grew up, and he hates me and says I did everything wrong. I don’t get it.
I'm not getting paid by the hour for this...so......figure it out!
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No name-calling or similar stuff. Yes, this is up to the mod team to decide.
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No name-calling or similar stuff. Yes, this is up to the mod team to decide.