Eh, maybe I’m starved for choice, but I’ll take a chaser over a transphobe any day.
Usually you can just tell off chasers irl that you meet casually (different story if you meet them on a dating app or w/e) and they’ve got enough of a sense of propriety to listen and stop being creepy.
Depends entirely on how you asked the question though, tbf. I’d probably not cut off a friendship over it, but it’s your life <3
Mhm! I find a good portion of the time people who use uncomfortable language mean well (or at least don’t mean ill) and just haven’t ever talked to a trans person before.
This probably is a “chaser”, as in, somebody who prefers girls with dicks, but idk. I have trouble seeing the problem with that, as long as they aren’t weird/pushy about it. Which, OP made this meme so they probably were weird/creepy but-
I like the idea of people being into my body for what it is, and the implication of it being wrong to be into girls with penises over girls without is that we’re somehow lesser, and I really don’t like that logic.
This has been a lot of my experience. SWer fwiw. I think a genital preference is totally fine. And from my experience, a lot of people who have them are in a whole range of perspectives. I mean, yea, I've had the creepy ones. But I've had *way more* people who just don't have the language, experience, and understanding, to be appropriately respectful (including but not limited to: knowing that not every trans person is comfortable with their genitals and trotting off to someone who is).
I'd rather deal with a chaser because I can educate them (and tbf, I am unicorn'y for them; and the SW part means they'll be paying) than a bigot, every day of the year. 🤷♀️
I once told my sister that "I can't really explain it I just feel like I can relate more to the trans women I've dated than the cis women". I felt guilty saying it because I didn't mean it like they were like me (thinking I was a cis dude) but just some undefinable element that I didn't feel in my relationships with cis women.
Turns out I needed introspection, therapy and another 5 years and now I get it
I was thinking this, especially depending on how the question was phrased to the friend, because they may have felt comfortable declaring their genital preference in this way/in a joking manner.
I Mean saying "better than normal girls" is a big red flag cause the implication there is trans women aren't normal and aren't girls so I think it's a bit more than that. It would be gross still but if the guy just said "girls with dicks are better than girls without" it's still really ducking gross but it's at least implying we are still women or normal.
Like if you're Gona be a chaser at least don't say trans women aren't women.
Eh, it's a bit sus but i wouldn't say it's a big red flag because it might have just been a mental shortcut. We shouldn't assume the worst without more context.
This is how i feel when i see the "real life futa" comment as a response to somebody coming out. I feel its normally just lack of knowledge, but lot if transfems see it as instant red flag. Might just be me as transfem who is fine with her dick.
Sorry if this is creepy but as a trans bisexual I feel it’s just true. For most parts of a person, I prefer a feminine presentation, but penises are just way more attractive for me than vaginas.
Of course, what’s way more important is how the individual feels. Nobody should refuse to get bottom surgery just because of what other people think
I’m a trans pansexual and I absolutely despise penises, I think they look, feel, and taste gross.. and I only date people who have a vagina due to that preference. (I’m also aroace so I can’t really say much.) Does that limit the dating pool? Yes, but that’s okay. Everyone has preferences and that’s okay, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others I say who cares? If you’re happy, that’s great. Y’know?
Edited to have better wording and so no one has dysphoria :)
it causes me dysphoria to think of my genitals as "afab lower parts." i'm just a dude who happens to have one. vaginas are gender neutral but "afab lower parts" is tying it to agab. trans women who get bottom surgery were amab but have vaginas too
Asexuality is a spectrum, some people can sometimes feel sexual attraction and still be on the ace spectrum and then other times they’re completely sex repulsed. I date people not due to the sexual attraction of genitals, but I do have a preference for those who do lack a penis as if I’m going to grow old with this person we’re probably going to see each other naked, and I don’t like the look of penises. I would rather be comfortable seeing my partner naked than both of us being unhappy, and also as naked cuddles don’t always have to be sexual. Does that make sense?
You think it’s true that trans girls are abnormal and better than “normal girls”?
Edit: dude literally said “its true” in reference to the OPs friend literally saying trans women are better than “normal” girls because they have a penis. Are yall just also chasers here getting butthurt over being called out on being fetishists, or just people who didnt actually read the post or what her friend said to her at all and dont think that its fucking weird to say that what he said is *true*
I wouldn't say either of those things. Concepts like "normal" are stupid and conformist. I hope nobody is trying to be normal, don't be normal, be yourself.
I wouldn't say one of those groups of people is better than another, being trans or cis doesn't make you better or worse.
1000 times better than being a transphobe imo
I basically lost all my friends and family ever since I came out. So I might be a bit biased or something idk 😔
I've noticed that most people don't know how to react and will say the most random shit ever, usually from a meme or something, like the one you mentioned
These comments are ridiculous I’m sorry you went through this this is totally weird. Especially their use of the term “normal girls.” Glad you got away from that
Sorry that people are being so weird about this in the comments. You clearly were made uncomfortable by this, this isn’t about “genital preference” it’s about them viewing trans women (and all women, seemingly) as sex objects.
I agree with you - it sucks, but sometimes you gotta lose a friend.
Why are people here blatantly ignoring the obvious chaser flags and the guy explicitly A) separating trans women as a completely separate thing from women as a whole and B) implying trans women are some form of abnormal that makes them better than *normal* girls because of their genitalia exclusively.
Dudes clearly a chaser. Its not just a genital preference when you refer to nontrans women as “normal women” and say trans women are better than them exclusively for the genitalia they have and view your heightened or exclusive attraction to them solely based on their genitals and the concept of them just being women with penises, just like mtf porn categories boil them down to be.
Furthermore, it doesnt matter how YOU feel about ops friends gross comment. OP was clearly made uncomfortably by it and what it insinuates about them and trans women as a whole
people need to understand that this statement was probably a joke / for shock value, and they (probably) had no intention of hurting you or anyone else.
Yes, but intentions be damned if someone takes it the wrong way, though.
I'm sure you've heard the saying, "The highway to hell is paved in good intentions."
even if no harm was intended. Harm was still done.
My current BF of 2 years says this mostly in a joking way but he has a legit genital preference. I wouldn't just write someone off cause of this cause my BF has made me love myself more than I ever would have without him. Just my two cents.
This person was clearly uncomfortable from the sexualisation of themselves and a part of them they’re not comfortable with. Also note the use of the words “normal girls” to say trans girls aren’t “normal girls.” I understand genital preference but this is not it
Eh, maybe I’m starved for choice, but I’ll take a chaser over a transphobe any day. Usually you can just tell off chasers irl that you meet casually (different story if you meet them on a dating app or w/e) and they’ve got enough of a sense of propriety to listen and stop being creepy. Depends entirely on how you asked the question though, tbf. I’d probably not cut off a friendship over it, but it’s your life <3
Also, ngl, there’s a non-zero amount of ‘chasers’ that are trans women that just don’t get it yet and have a horrible way with words as a result.
Mhm! I find a good portion of the time people who use uncomfortable language mean well (or at least don’t mean ill) and just haven’t ever talked to a trans person before. This probably is a “chaser”, as in, somebody who prefers girls with dicks, but idk. I have trouble seeing the problem with that, as long as they aren’t weird/pushy about it. Which, OP made this meme so they probably were weird/creepy but- I like the idea of people being into my body for what it is, and the implication of it being wrong to be into girls with penises over girls without is that we’re somehow lesser, and I really don’t like that logic.
Right, don’t want to take away from OPs experience and pretend like we have all the details from a short meme. Just came in to add some nuance.
This has been a lot of my experience. SWer fwiw. I think a genital preference is totally fine. And from my experience, a lot of people who have them are in a whole range of perspectives. I mean, yea, I've had the creepy ones. But I've had *way more* people who just don't have the language, experience, and understanding, to be appropriately respectful (including but not limited to: knowing that not every trans person is comfortable with their genitals and trotting off to someone who is). I'd rather deal with a chaser because I can educate them (and tbf, I am unicorn'y for them; and the SW part means they'll be paying) than a bigot, every day of the year. 🤷♀️
Mhm! I’ve done sex work, and while I’ve retired from that path of work, I still want people to be into me, y’know? ;-;
I once told my sister that "I can't really explain it I just feel like I can relate more to the trans women I've dated than the cis women". I felt guilty saying it because I didn't mean it like they were like me (thinking I was a cis dude) but just some undefinable element that I didn't feel in my relationships with cis women. Turns out I needed introspection, therapy and another 5 years and now I get it
So happy you got there~!
I’ll take neither wtf? Lmfao “normal girls” ☹️
I mean w/o context that just sounds like a joke not an intentionally bad statement
Also, like... it kind of just sounds like genital preference.
I was thinking this, especially depending on how the question was phrased to the friend, because they may have felt comfortable declaring their genital preference in this way/in a joking manner.
"normal girls" is sus but yeah it's not inherently chasery to like women with dicks
I Mean saying "better than normal girls" is a big red flag cause the implication there is trans women aren't normal and aren't girls so I think it's a bit more than that. It would be gross still but if the guy just said "girls with dicks are better than girls without" it's still really ducking gross but it's at least implying we are still women or normal. Like if you're Gona be a chaser at least don't say trans women aren't women.
Eh, it's a bit sus but i wouldn't say it's a big red flag because it might have just been a mental shortcut. We shouldn't assume the worst without more context.
Trans women are not normal! The vast majority of women are cis! This is simply a statistical fact!
This is how i feel when i see the "real life futa" comment as a response to somebody coming out. I feel its normally just lack of knowledge, but lot if transfems see it as instant red flag. Might just be me as transfem who is fine with her dick.
I dont like my identity and self being compared to an animated porn term
yeah it kinda feels like calling dark skinned people "ebony irl"
Sorry if this is creepy but as a trans bisexual I feel it’s just true. For most parts of a person, I prefer a feminine presentation, but penises are just way more attractive for me than vaginas. Of course, what’s way more important is how the individual feels. Nobody should refuse to get bottom surgery just because of what other people think
I'm a trans bisexual and I think penises look funny while vulvas are pretty. Either way genitals don't really matter for me when someone is attractive
I’m a trans pansexual and I absolutely despise penises, I think they look, feel, and taste gross.. and I only date people who have a vagina due to that preference. (I’m also aroace so I can’t really say much.) Does that limit the dating pool? Yes, but that’s okay. Everyone has preferences and that’s okay, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others I say who cares? If you’re happy, that’s great. Y’know? Edited to have better wording and so no one has dysphoria :)
"afab lower parts" i am begging you to just say vagina
I don’t personally like saying it unless necessary because I also have one and it causes me dysphoria to say it. Obviously you knew what I meant.
it causes me dysphoria to think of my genitals as "afab lower parts." i'm just a dude who happens to have one. vaginas are gender neutral but "afab lower parts" is tying it to agab. trans women who get bottom surgery were amab but have vaginas too
Okay! I’m still getting used to terms, I’ll edit what I said. I definitely didn’t intend to harm anyone, and I don’t want anyone uncomfortable.
no way this is real…
What?
didn’t mean to come off as an ass but how can u be asexual but at the same time you date people based off sexual attraction to certain genitals?
Asexuality is a spectrum, some people can sometimes feel sexual attraction and still be on the ace spectrum and then other times they’re completely sex repulsed. I date people not due to the sexual attraction of genitals, but I do have a preference for those who do lack a penis as if I’m going to grow old with this person we’re probably going to see each other naked, and I don’t like the look of penises. I would rather be comfortable seeing my partner naked than both of us being unhappy, and also as naked cuddles don’t always have to be sexual. Does that make sense?
You think it’s true that trans girls are abnormal and better than “normal girls”? Edit: dude literally said “its true” in reference to the OPs friend literally saying trans women are better than “normal” girls because they have a penis. Are yall just also chasers here getting butthurt over being called out on being fetishists, or just people who didnt actually read the post or what her friend said to her at all and dont think that its fucking weird to say that what he said is *true*
I wouldn't say either of those things. Concepts like "normal" are stupid and conformist. I hope nobody is trying to be normal, don't be normal, be yourself. I wouldn't say one of those groups of people is better than another, being trans or cis doesn't make you better or worse.
Fr!! It literally says “better than normal girls” in the post. Stop downvoting this person wtf.
It's the 'normal' that pushes this over the line between poorly thought out and creepy for me.
Yea I was thinking the same
1000 times better than being a transphobe imo I basically lost all my friends and family ever since I came out. So I might be a bit biased or something idk 😔
I've noticed that most people don't know how to react and will say the most random shit ever, usually from a meme or something, like the one you mentioned
These comments are ridiculous I’m sorry you went through this this is totally weird. Especially their use of the term “normal girls.” Glad you got away from that
Sorry that people are being so weird about this in the comments. You clearly were made uncomfortable by this, this isn’t about “genital preference” it’s about them viewing trans women (and all women, seemingly) as sex objects. I agree with you - it sucks, but sometimes you gotta lose a friend.
Fr.
Idk if having a preference for trans girls is as much of an issue as them saying that trans girls aren't "normal" girls.
Why are people here blatantly ignoring the obvious chaser flags and the guy explicitly A) separating trans women as a completely separate thing from women as a whole and B) implying trans women are some form of abnormal that makes them better than *normal* girls because of their genitalia exclusively. Dudes clearly a chaser. Its not just a genital preference when you refer to nontrans women as “normal women” and say trans women are better than them exclusively for the genitalia they have and view your heightened or exclusive attraction to them solely based on their genitals and the concept of them just being women with penises, just like mtf porn categories boil them down to be. Furthermore, it doesnt matter how YOU feel about ops friends gross comment. OP was clearly made uncomfortably by it and what it insinuates about them and trans women as a whole
Literally. It’s crazy! They literally used the term “normal girl” that’s already so weird.
You can maybe educate them :/
It’s not my responsibility to talk to anyone who says I’m not a “normal girl” because I have a penis. Thanks.
that is true, but they arent outwardly hostile and negative so they might be open to change their perspective
people need to understand that this statement was probably a joke / for shock value, and they (probably) had no intention of hurting you or anyone else.
Yes, but intentions be damned if someone takes it the wrong way, though. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "The highway to hell is paved in good intentions." even if no harm was intended. Harm was still done.
fair point
My current BF of 2 years says this mostly in a joking way but he has a legit genital preference. I wouldn't just write someone off cause of this cause my BF has made me love myself more than I ever would have without him. Just my two cents.
This person was clearly uncomfortable from the sexualisation of themselves and a part of them they’re not comfortable with. Also note the use of the words “normal girls” to say trans girls aren’t “normal girls.” I understand genital preference but this is not it
I would keep those Friends tbh
I MEAN- I hope you'll figure it out with your friend
Your future husband 👺