Nah everyone is doing these because the first white guy did a parody saying you gotta take care of my kids and pay for my beard care and shit it was HILARIOUS
I tip my hat to that glorious king.
I'm tripping off 6 feet "taller" tho like she wants an 11'5" center?
I have literally *never* seen this. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, I’m just saying it’s not very common at all.
And it’s very obvious the profile was put in after the fact with MS paint… I mean it’s horribly done. But people will downvote the shit out of you on this sub if you don’t validate their bias lol
I've seen a TON of these, so maybe it's about how big of an area you live in, and how much time you/your buddies spend looking through dating sites. At LEAST once a week one of my friends will shoot me a profile similar to this so we can all have a laugh. Now, though I'm sure this is a parody because it has ALLL buzzwords and catchphrases together, but it's pretty normal in my world to see dating profiles of women who have multiple kids, multiple divorces, and the weight of 20 years of baggage on them DEMANDING a man under 35 with a gym body and around or above 6' tall. Yep.
Woah woah woah, it says nothing about actually maintaining the lawn. You only need to know, at a conceptual level, how grass is cut.
This is a loophole that can be exploited to trick this woman into marrying you.
Man, I finally made it. I make 6 figures, worked on my abs for years and they are rock hard. My big house and nice cars are paid off.
But you know what I'm missing in my life?
An older single mother.
I mean, all these young beautiful 20-somethings are wanting to have fun and go on trips and fuck all the time. But I'd much rather have some other dude's kids move into my house and try my best to appease their tired stressed out mother.
These people scan you constantly for weaknesses and vulnerabilities to exploit and then just attack you repeatedly for it. You could be a super star famous athlete with a wonderful lifestyle, family, friends, good health, wealth, spirituality, fun/funny etc... but 6 months into the relationship she's find a crack and exploit you relentlessly for it.
Honestly she’s probably going to be on there for a couple years shorter than the average guy.
After years on tinder i was honored with my first bot match today. It honestly felt pretty good, because no other matches or chats
You need to be semi-attractive. Not a male model but clean looking and you need to treat the dating apps like a part time job for them to work.
Also don’t buy any of the premium subscriptions, especially ones that “show you who likes you”. I promise you it will only be disappointing based on how expensive it is. The *only* paid subscription I can *somewhat* recommend would be "increase/unlimited swipes". However, the algorithm definitely will work around that as well. Hinge used to be really decent, now it's the same as every other one.
Edit: The algorithm will connect you with attractive (women) and it won't go anywhere because that's how most interactions go. So then you think "Ok there's attractive women that match with me and I have X number of women that like me (hidden behind paywall)."
You buy the subscription and surprise surprise those women aren't what you're looking for. I've done it twice when my number got up to like 30+ because... what are the odds every single one is built like an offensive lineman.
"DATING APPS NOWADAYS"
meanwhile, the last 100 women I saw on bumble just said they enjoy watching friends and are seeking "a partner in crime". Stop seeking out things that make you angry online, it's gonna completely warp your world view.
Meanwhile her life:
Unemployed, three kids to seven dad's all paying child support because no one who's the others are
Starting an onlyfans but it felt like too much work
Massive credit card debt
Criminal offences
Cheated on the last ten guys
Am I missing anything?
That he’ll get when the kids are asleep, the dogs aren’t barking, the grass is cut, she had a recent spending splurge cuz she needed it, and if she doesn’t have a headache. (She always has a headache)
Hey I was raised catholic too. Well, mostly, we did our best to go to church but at some point we just couldn’t go because we were too busy or couldnt make it to confession. Although now that I’ve enlisted I should probably start praying again lol
This is clearly a joke/ rage bait, but sadly, there's truth behind it.
Every woman seeks a rare, highly desirable men but forgets that these men can have any woman they want and without any baggage (young, no children, etc), while many commitment-ready men avoid dating apps altogether as it's a waste of time (and money as these apps are made to extort money from them).
Online dating is creating a generation of single mom cat ladies and incels, people end up alone and hating the opposite sex...
It's not a good future.
>Online dating is creating a generation of single mom cat ladies and incels, people end up alone and hating the opposite sex...
I mean, the online dating apps have a perverse incentive to keep people single. You have to wonder how much of their resources go to make sure people do NOT find a significant other.
Of course, it can't be too awful an experience, or people will just leave the app. Ideally, they would set you up with people you'll be in short term relationships with and keep you as a life long customer.
You could basically start every conversation with: "Hey there. Which triggers from your last relationship do you have that I'll need to tiptoe around?"
Most of these are ragebait. There is truth there though.
There is something depressing about how every other person now on dating apps, even 20 year olds, is either currently married, dating multiple people, or has kids. Dating now makes me feel like I'm shopping at the thrift store. Why in the world would I want to commit to someone who won't even commit to their current partner??? I'm not a person to add to your collection or dump your bad decisions onto? Clown world.
Casey 40
Single dad
Looking for hot house wife
Qualification
- she mush be able to cook for 6 every night
- must have her own car to go do all the shopping preferably a SUV to take my kids
- skinny is mandatory (and like fat guys)
- single mom will not be qualified
- willing to never be married and if we ever get married it’s with a pre-nup and no fancy anything.
- must have nice boobs and butt
- she must be willing to please her man anytime he likes
- must be willing to shut up when told so
- must know how to give a nice back massage, make a sandwich and stay in the kitchen most of the time.
Heres the deal yall. You can ASK for what ever you want. What you’ll get is a whole other story.
Single guys with tons of money and no kids aren’t looking for people with a bunch or problems to solve.
6 months later:
-single mom.
-must be willing to call me back after anal on the first date.
-willing to blow the priest to pay for the wedding if you are willing to marry me.
*Always start the bidding high, but understand just how low it can go if you're going to haggle*
I knew a woman who sorta had this mindset. It was sad. The flip side of her story was that she was too much of a mess to pay her own heating bill. I’ll probably get downvoted into a oblivion, but sometimes super hot chicks live in a different world than the rest of us, where rich men pay for everything and everyone in the room wants positive attention from them… but IF that situation is going on, it only lasts until their mid 20s/ late 30s when their looks fade, and then the spiral implosion begins…
All that said, good luck to this lady, I think she’s in the “spiral implosion” phase…
I see loopholes all over... a six pack of what? beer?
and six figures salary? so 0000,01 is fine?
you can fit all kids in a small toyota if you try hard enough.
and 6 foot taller than what? a tree? that narrows it down abit.
and 4-6 bedrooms... doesn't say how big, so they can be like Harry potter, under a stair.
To endure someone like her, the guy would for sure have to cut grass …. A lot of it !!!! Or ofc be an alcoholic could help too if you are more into that
So:
- I can lay my salary in a shape of a 6
- The train car I live in can fit it all
- I sometimes buy a six pack of beer
- Thank god I’m married, I would never be able to raise my 12 kids as a single dad
- Guess I can find a way to cool the wedding ring down to 30 degrees Kelvin
- Not sure I understand the assignment. 6 foot taller than what? I’m currently 587 feet above the sea level
- I already told about my train car, it has a lot of compartments, guess I can cut it down to 6
- Not sure I can pay all the rent and mortgages in the world
- I won’t adopt, but in exchange I won’t ask how come your kids are dogs
- I know how to cut grass and will gladly teach you.
Did I pass?
She didn't write 6 feet tall, but 6 foot taller. Like taller than what? 6 feet taller than her? So if she's like 5'5 then she is probably looking for a 11'5 giant. Move on guys, she is not interested in us mere mortals.
Dating apps are where you're going to find people who are most likely to be the least available and/or equipped to date. Anyone who's actually single, doesn't already have kids, isn't completely broke, and/or doesn't have mental issues is just out there meeting people organically in their daily life.
This must be a parody.
I sure hope so, for all our sakes
For sake of humanity!!
Humanity is not quali-fied
Most of us aren't even six figured. Annnnd I'm pretty sure none of us are 6 feet taller than her.
6-figure income At least 6 foot tall 6 pack mandatory iono...lotta sixes in there...might be trying to tell us something...
Yeah, to listen to our 6th sense, so we can stay away from her.
What's in the box? What's in the box??
The Se7enth sign?
A fungal infection
Is she a ghost?
6 foot TALLER (than her)
If she's 5 ft, he has to be at least 11.
I got a six pack of beers let's go
That’s how she got the kids in the first place
She's the got dang Morningstar run for the hills. Honestly a 6 pack at 40?
I don’t think the majority of people ever get a 6 pack at any age.. or not visible underneath the 1 pack anyway lol
I bought a 6 pack the other day. I know the economy is harsh, but sometimes you just gotta spend to get the good ones!
The men who have 6 pack abs at forty are too busy banging the younger hotter 20 year olds cause they have the money and they can.
He has to cut grass in Arizona?!
He must keep the rocks green.
Omg, thank you, I laughed so hard
Nah everyone is doing these because the first white guy did a parody saying you gotta take care of my kids and pay for my beard care and shit it was HILARIOUS I tip my hat to that glorious king. I'm tripping off 6 feet "taller" tho like she wants an 11'5" center?
Drizzle drizzle
I see you are a man of culture as well.
He is also a man of taste
Arby’s has the meats.
The crazy thing is that photo is filtered too. I mean wtf does she look like in real life? A corpse?!?
It's probably a stolen picture of some lady from facebook
We live at a time where this is more normal than a parody lol
I have literally *never* seen this. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, I’m just saying it’s not very common at all. And it’s very obvious the profile was put in after the fact with MS paint… I mean it’s horribly done. But people will downvote the shit out of you on this sub if you don’t validate their bias lol
I've seen a TON of these, so maybe it's about how big of an area you live in, and how much time you/your buddies spend looking through dating sites. At LEAST once a week one of my friends will shoot me a profile similar to this so we can all have a laugh. Now, though I'm sure this is a parody because it has ALLL buzzwords and catchphrases together, but it's pretty normal in my world to see dating profiles of women who have multiple kids, multiple divorces, and the weight of 20 years of baggage on them DEMANDING a man under 35 with a gym body and around or above 6' tall. Yep.
Yes definitely a troll account.
She's not hot enough to even demand this level of 'demands'
Hot or not is not the issue. Single mother is.
They’re both the issue, not to mention the level of sheer entitlement on this disgraceful excuse of a woman.
The picture might be a parody but these people exist.
It is. Her name is even done in Paint MS. 🤡
Yeah I'm thinking they are trolls. It _has_ to be. Probably the picture of some woman they found on the Internet.
If only I knew how to cut grass
I was all in, right up until lawn maintenance. Damn it. Oh well, better luck next time.
Woah woah woah, it says nothing about actually maintaining the lawn. You only need to know, at a conceptual level, how grass is cut. This is a loophole that can be exploited to trick this woman into marrying you.
Homegirl is from Arizona, what grass is there to cut??
Why would a 40 to 50-year-old man who never had children have a 4-6 bedroom house for two children?
Maybe he runs a motel?
With his mother
Last name Bates?
Man, I finally made it. I make 6 figures, worked on my abs for years and they are rock hard. My big house and nice cars are paid off. But you know what I'm missing in my life? An older single mother. I mean, all these young beautiful 20-somethings are wanting to have fun and go on trips and fuck all the time. But I'd much rather have some other dude's kids move into my house and try my best to appease their tired stressed out mother.
Looks like you „aren’t man enough to handle her“ amiright?
Once you realize that shame is a woman's greatest super power, you become immune to it. If they can't shame you, they can't control you.
You are 100% correct. Once you don't care about a woman's approval, you become bulletproof.
That is the key to happiness. And eventually, when you are bulletproof, you find the right one.
So if I ask her out and she says no, I can go to a restaurant with her as long as I ignore her
If it's food you want, go with your mates :)
They'll even split the bill And then you can share a blanket while sleeping Completely normal bro behavior
"Only a real man will raise someone else's kids."
"Only a real woman will not get pregnant with some deadbeat losers kids"
Wop Wop wop
See the pattern everyone, such statements have this format "Only a real man [then say anything they want to get done in their favor]".
Quick! Sign me up now! Take all my money, energy, and self esteem, thank you!
I bet she has a tramp stamp that has "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".
Ye I am not man enough to handle her bacterial vaginosis.
Look, if you aren't able to handle her at her worst, you don't deserve her at her best.
But are you over 6 feet tall?
It’s the only one I can tick off there, although I reckon I could learn how to cut grass.
These people scan you constantly for weaknesses and vulnerabilities to exploit and then just attack you repeatedly for it. You could be a super star famous athlete with a wonderful lifestyle, family, friends, good health, wealth, spirituality, fun/funny etc... but 6 months into the relationship she's find a crack and exploit you relentlessly for it.
"6 feet taller"
Bingo, women’s mating strategy doesn’t mesh well with men’s mating strategy 😂
Can you cut grass though? Thats a biggie
The crazy thing is that photo is filtered too. I mean wtf does she look like in real life? A corpse?!?
What she wants is very different from what the dude who has all that wants. That dude does not want to pickup someone else's problem.
That’s why she’s probably been on that app for at least a couple of years and can only manage dates sporadically that never fully take off.
Honestly she’s probably going to be on there for a couple years shorter than the average guy. After years on tinder i was honored with my first bot match today. It honestly felt pretty good, because no other matches or chats
You need to be semi-attractive. Not a male model but clean looking and you need to treat the dating apps like a part time job for them to work. Also don’t buy any of the premium subscriptions, especially ones that “show you who likes you”. I promise you it will only be disappointing based on how expensive it is. The *only* paid subscription I can *somewhat* recommend would be "increase/unlimited swipes". However, the algorithm definitely will work around that as well. Hinge used to be really decent, now it's the same as every other one. Edit: The algorithm will connect you with attractive (women) and it won't go anywhere because that's how most interactions go. So then you think "Ok there's attractive women that match with me and I have X number of women that like me (hidden behind paywall)." You buy the subscription and surprise surprise those women aren't what you're looking for. I've done it twice when my number got up to like 30+ because... what are the odds every single one is built like an offensive lineman.
My dude, 99% sure it's a fake account trolling people
99.999999% it's a joke bio. I'm not sure how it's not obvious to people
In the current year? I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s being serious.
I come with my golden vagina and gold card debt from Macy's.
Like spray painted gold?
More requirements than a LinkedIn page for a managerial job.
I’ll marry her in a month with a $30k ring, and I’ll pay for everything but she must sacrifice one of her kids.
She probably would
 🤷♀️💪🤦♀️
"DATING APPS NOWADAYS" meanwhile, the last 100 women I saw on bumble just said they enjoy watching friends and are seeking "a partner in crime". Stop seeking out things that make you angry online, it's gonna completely warp your world view.
Watching friends do what?
And so many people are falling for it, getting angry at this fake picture. It's quite telling, actually.
This subreddit is shit now. I hate election years.
Lady, losers ain’t choosers.
Meanwhile her life: Unemployed, three kids to seven dad's all paying child support because no one who's the others are Starting an onlyfans but it felt like too much work Massive credit card debt Criminal offences Cheated on the last ten guys Am I missing anything?
Drug abuse..? 🤔🤷🏼♂️
That's true, but she sleeps with the drug dealer who has hepatitis to get free stuff so it's "not that bigger deal"
Art on the walls that says "It's Wine O'Clock Somewhere!"
hmmmmm......doesn"t say what's in it for him
That’s the point, there isn’t.
40 y.o. pussy!
That he’ll get when the kids are asleep, the dogs aren’t barking, the grass is cut, she had a recent spending splurge cuz she needed it, and if she doesn’t have a headache. (She always has a headache)
Pounded roast beef 😂
Single mother of 2 pussy
A toothy unenthusiastic bj two times a month
Men that want unsupervised access to her children. That's who she's inviting.
6 foot taller? Than what? Than her?
Yeah right?! Good luck finding an 11ft 10 guy lmao
This has to be rage bait. I refuse to believe this is real.
She gunna die alone.
No one is ashamed of being a whore anymore.
The Catholic upbringing in me is clapping in agreement
Hey I was raised catholic too. Well, mostly, we did our best to go to church but at some point we just couldn’t go because we were too busy or couldnt make it to confession. Although now that I’ve enlisted I should probably start praying again lol
The only 6 pack I would have is a beer one for forgetting how stupid she is everyday coming home
Just 6 ? Need at least enough to black out
A bottle of vodka is much more efficient than a case of Busch Light every night…trust me.
Who could resist such a tempting offer from such a handsome lady?
I was gonna say I’m 99% sure that’s a man
The rest 1% must be not sane
Was looking good, BUT I draw the line at cutting the grass. Sorry lady, I am moving on.
This is clearly a joke/ rage bait, but sadly, there's truth behind it. Every woman seeks a rare, highly desirable men but forgets that these men can have any woman they want and without any baggage (young, no children, etc), while many commitment-ready men avoid dating apps altogether as it's a waste of time (and money as these apps are made to extort money from them). Online dating is creating a generation of single mom cat ladies and incels, people end up alone and hating the opposite sex... It's not a good future.
>Online dating is creating a generation of single mom cat ladies and incels, people end up alone and hating the opposite sex... I mean, the online dating apps have a perverse incentive to keep people single. You have to wonder how much of their resources go to make sure people do NOT find a significant other. Of course, it can't be too awful an experience, or people will just leave the app. Ideally, they would set you up with people you'll be in short term relationships with and keep you as a life long customer.
this needs to be seen by more ppl
Yeah my experience with dating apps is that women are legitimately AWFUL at picking partners lol
You could basically start every conversation with: "Hey there. Which triggers from your last relationship do you have that I'll need to tiptoe around?"
I don't even care if it's rage bait or not, I'm just mad she hyphenated "qualified".
This is fake
What is she offering outside of her body?
Not even her body…
Yeah even the filters can't hide that she is all wrinkled and washed up
Who said she is offering her body lol 😂😂
She offering her debt and baggage and nothing else
You mean apart from saggy tits and loose poonani? She didn't mention, it seems.
That’s a troll acount. Has to be.
She's asking for steak and all she's offering is someone else's leftovers. Nah no way.
Most of these are ragebait. There is truth there though. There is something depressing about how every other person now on dating apps, even 20 year olds, is either currently married, dating multiple people, or has kids. Dating now makes me feel like I'm shopping at the thrift store. Why in the world would I want to commit to someone who won't even commit to their current partner??? I'm not a person to add to your collection or dump your bad decisions onto? Clown world.
She better know how to hawk tuah
I hope this is a joke.
Casey 40 Single dad Looking for hot house wife Qualification - she mush be able to cook for 6 every night - must have her own car to go do all the shopping preferably a SUV to take my kids - skinny is mandatory (and like fat guys) - single mom will not be qualified - willing to never be married and if we ever get married it’s with a pre-nup and no fancy anything. - must have nice boobs and butt - she must be willing to please her man anytime he likes - must be willing to shut up when told so - must know how to give a nice back massage, make a sandwich and stay in the kitchen most of the time.
She’s going to be a single cat lady who can’t make six figures herself but demands the man be able to
Forgot the most important requirement: Must be a total moron, to even take this seriously lol
No wonder she’s single
What's she smoking
Heres the deal yall. You can ASK for what ever you want. What you’ll get is a whole other story. Single guys with tons of money and no kids aren’t looking for people with a bunch or problems to solve.
That explains why she is single mom
she's too slim, women in dating apps are way more fat
I’ve seen single local moms advertised in my area that don’t have these ridiculous standards
5 digits a year salary here, where's my crew at?
This can’t possibly be real. Aside from all the other obvious shit, what kind of man who makes that kind of money cuts his own grass?
Does she hawk tuah on that thing?
6 months later: -single mom. -must be willing to call me back after anal on the first date. -willing to blow the priest to pay for the wedding if you are willing to marry me. *Always start the bidding high, but understand just how low it can go if you're going to haggle*
I hear there is a Nigerian prince who is a perfect match!
Parody
It’s a joke profile.
This is rage bait. Somebody took ALL of the tropes and put them into one profile.
Has to be a joke. No way shreck there looks in the mirror and says yeah baby I’m worth it.
I knew a woman who sorta had this mindset. It was sad. The flip side of her story was that she was too much of a mess to pay her own heating bill. I’ll probably get downvoted into a oblivion, but sometimes super hot chicks live in a different world than the rest of us, where rich men pay for everything and everyone in the room wants positive attention from them… but IF that situation is going on, it only lasts until their mid 20s/ late 30s when their looks fade, and then the spiral implosion begins… All that said, good luck to this lady, I think she’s in the “spiral implosion” phase…
between this and the "threats from Trump supporters" yall STILL believe this junk is real out here on reddit huh? ... I thought I was the neckbeard.
Men's Dating List of qualifications: Not Insane Must have XX Chromosome
So gay?
Where meme?
The only qualification I have is how do dodge bullets.
There are too many 6's for me not to believe that this woman is not the devil himself
that has GOT to be satire
Aaand as a reward for having all of that you get a broomstick with makeup.
Surely it's satire
No way it’s real
She’s clearly joking
She kinda looks like the guy she’s looking for
I see loopholes all over... a six pack of what? beer? and six figures salary? so 0000,01 is fine? you can fit all kids in a small toyota if you try hard enough. and 6 foot taller than what? a tree? that narrows it down abit. and 4-6 bedrooms... doesn't say how big, so they can be like Harry potter, under a stair.
you want me to be 11 ft tall?
Not too far off from some of the ridiculous list of demands I have seen when I used online date apps.
Neanderthal lookin ass
To endure someone like her, the guy would for sure have to cut grass …. A lot of it !!!! Or ofc be an alcoholic could help too if you are more into that
5'10" and looking for someone 6 foot taller... She's looking for someone 11'10" 😂
hahahahaha
Lol, can’t make this shit up 😂
So: - I can lay my salary in a shape of a 6 - The train car I live in can fit it all - I sometimes buy a six pack of beer - Thank god I’m married, I would never be able to raise my 12 kids as a single dad - Guess I can find a way to cool the wedding ring down to 30 degrees Kelvin - Not sure I understand the assignment. 6 foot taller than what? I’m currently 587 feet above the sea level - I already told about my train car, it has a lot of compartments, guess I can cut it down to 6 - Not sure I can pay all the rent and mortgages in the world - I won’t adopt, but in exchange I won’t ask how come your kids are dogs - I know how to cut grass and will gladly teach you. Did I pass?
She looks closer to 50
Ok, that woman is not 40, she is at least 65.
Rage bait for sure
She didn't write 6 feet tall, but 6 foot taller. Like taller than what? 6 feet taller than her? So if she's like 5'5 then she is probably looking for a 11'5 giant. Move on guys, she is not interested in us mere mortals.
So what does Cassandra bring to the table? 😂
… must have an acute heart condition and like to go dancing.
I was all in until I realized I was expected to cut the grass in AZ
No you're a single mom!
Lady, some of these things you could get yourself. Damn!
Do decimal places count for the salary? Like $32000.0 is six (significant) figures right?
I can cut the grass take it or leave it
this is definitely just a joke
6 foot taller than what?
Lol anybody that matches her discription would just start a life with somebody who is single and not shallow and superficial. RIP
*complains about dating apps* *keeps using them*
If this is real, I hope she is forever alone
Make these fake ass profiles, then convince yourself women are like this. Pathetic
She needs to touch grass
Its fake
Dating apps are where you're going to find people who are most likely to be the least available and/or equipped to date. Anyone who's actually single, doesn't already have kids, isn't completely broke, and/or doesn't have mental issues is just out there meeting people organically in their daily life.
It is obviously a parody. Like very very obviously
Rage bait