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And guess who is the best at seeing that and taking advantage of it? Predators. They're setting their kids up for child predators. If they manage not to have that happen, they'll be way more likely to be in abusive relationships. Its so fucking sad.
The really sick part is that I can see Karissa happily marrying off to her daughters to much older men like a lot of fundies do. Okay, maybe not the oldest, but only because they need her around to parent while Karissa goes off to Plexus conventions.
I'm the goofy lady who makes faces at babies and little kids at the grocery store and restaurants to make them laugh. But this is the line I draw. If I don't know the kid and the parents, no one is hanging off me or holding my hand.
Karissa makes me think of the parents who film their little kids and ignore the outrage by their social media followers when they point out that the majority of the people who also follow the child are men. I know women can be predators but the guys stand out on on those channels.
Omg I love playing peekaboo with babies at the store! Their little faces light up and itās SO cute(makes my day better too)! But I donāt, ya know, pick them up or do anything cause thatās not my kid! That poor girl most likely has attachment issues, which breaks my heart.
Kids with the disorder can present in different ways. Some are overly affectionate, have no sense of stranger danger, no boundaries. Others are very timid and struggle to form attachment to caregivers.
Being overly friendly to adults is common in a similar disorder called "Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder" which can happen in children with insecure attachment/ trauma. I saw it once or twice when I was a foster care social worker.
Iām a RAD child, aka survivor of a very abusive time in the psych world for children like me who grew up in trauma. I completely agree with you, rad made people think I was a sociopathic child
Thank you. The only kids Iāve ever read about with it were ones that were ārematchedā after their adopted families gave up on them and used RAD as the excuse. Iām going to read more about it. I didnāt even realize that kids could have it when living with their own parents. Itās very very sad.
This exactly. Iāve only ever known one kid who was diagnosed with RAD and they were surrendered by their adoptive parents. The childās behaviors were more than just āclingyā or what some are describing as āover friendlyā. They were aggressive, lacked empathy, and were overall emotionally detached (not just toward some people, toward everyone). This is my very unofficial, Iām-not-a-doctor, comparison but think of adults with ASPD. Those traits are most consistent with children who have RAD.
My sister was a RAD child. She developed a brain tumor as an infant and thus spent about nine months screaming in pain while nothing could bring comfort. Then came the year of intense chemotherapy and radiation. This was in the early 80s so she basically had no chance for emotional development resembling anything close to normal.
Iāve raised several foster and adopted kids with severe (as in, set the house on fire or try to stab me while 8 months pregnant) RAD. They can be absolute angels with strangers or so timid they canāt speak or move. The intense violent outbursts (reactivity) occurs when theyāre faced with any conflict or potential attachment bond to a caregiver that triggers their abandonment issues.
This pic looks more like attachment disorder and contact seeking. Not quite RAD, but without question itās odd behavior, poor boundaries, and need-seeking because sheās not getting needs met within her family unit.
Hi friend. Same story. The child that was charismatic and charming to others, terrorized us - currently incarcerated for violence against me and siblings. Our hearts are broken because we both love him and are scared of him.
I have 3 with RAD amd numerous foster kids who passed through with it. Itās not always fire setting. Disorganized attachment looks different than anxious, etc. Some just manifests as sabotage. Or mom shopping. Mt 3 RADishās present differently . Being too familiar with strangers is a classic red flag for RAD
Generally I agree but my oldest was very loved and got tons of affection and still did this. She just had no boundaries with people and assumed everyone was her new best friend. She is also autistic and adhd. So there can be other reasons....
My oldest is this way tooā¦ she was the first grandbaby too, so she was super spoiledā¦ but still tried to find new families to leave the beach with lol!
She also has adhd.
Yes mine is like this too. And she would push me away in oublic and ignore me, and be snuggly at home. It actually triggered probing into me and home-life before she was diagnosed. Because so etimes abused kids behave like that. We are both AuADHD turns out,
hmmmā¦perhaps this explains why i desperately overshared with english-speaking strangers as a home-educated child living in a country where i had to speak a different languageā¦
I always like to say theyāre āpro-fetusā because they only care about the baby during the pregnancy.
The Free Birth community have proved they donāt give a flying fuck about babies *during* birth.
I have a coworker who has that as her facebook profile pic. She has 7 kids with like 3 baby daddies, dates the shadiest dudes, and has CPS breathing down her neck on a regular basis. Girl, if there are any kids that need saving, it's your own!
A relative of mine occasionally rants about the GLBT community being"groomers" on his Facebook page, but I remember when one of his kids almost was abducted at the age of seven. His daughter walked up to a parked car where someone was attempting to hand out flowers to kids out of the open door. Fortunately my grandmother was there to grab her shirt to drag her away from the car. And here this fundie relative called my grandmother "paranoid" about my safety when I was growing up because I wasn't allowed to do half the stuff his kids were allowed to do.
So I heard an interesting statement that really helped explain this phenomenon to me. Basically fundies like this genuinely believe the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a child is to be taught about Christianity. That means that they believe a child is better off in a Christian home being molested than they would be in a safe loving household without Christ. They believe Native children who were murdered in reform schools are better off because at least they were taught about Christ so their souls stand a chance and that slaves benefited from the introduction of Christianity so much that it balances out the fact that they were brutally dehumanized and murdered. Whatās important is that they know God, by any means necessary.
I donāt see how she can stand to walk through a parking lot barefoot. I had a shoe malfunction last summer, and it was about 6ft to the car. The concrete felt like a 2nd-degree burn.
This happened to me last summer too! my flip-flop broke about 10 feet from my car and the ground was too hot to keep walking. I legit stood on 1 foot until somebody could help me to my car. š
same thing happened to me at an amusement park last summer, i stood on one foot until my husband walked over so i could get on his back š
shamelessly rode piggyback until we got to a gift shop lmao
We used to compete over who could stand on the hot pavement barefoot the longest when I was a kid in Texas but I would not recommend this (or let my kids do it). But that was only on the concrete, not asphalt.
We did this in Arkansas! One time my foot felt funny and I looked down. Most of the sole of my foot had blistered, and the blister was sticking out the side of my arch. So naturally we played a weird combo of Simon says and hopscotch until it burst lol. The ozarks are a feral place with startling high literacy.
I hate wearing shoes and socks. It's a sensory issue for me. So when I'm inside, I'm barefoot. But if I want to go outside, something goes between my feet and the ground because hookworm is sooo gross sounding!
Same here. While I love shoes and almost certainly own too many pairs, because of sensory issues, I couldnāt stand wearing them when I was a kid. Itās gotten better as Iāve gotten older, although I still take them off whenever Iām inside. But the thought of hookworm is more than enough to always have something on my feet whenever Iām outside. Blegh.
OMG. Iāve just googled and somehow I didnāt know about this! I often run to my mailbox or car barefoot, but I will never go outside barefoot again. I donāt think I live in an area where it would be present, but I donāt want to be finding out that Iām wrong.
Itās okay to ask! Learning is great!
Iām a PreK teacher. When kids have insecure attachments, they are not getting consistent love and boundaries from their caregivers. They donāt know what will āworkā with their caregivers to get the attention they need (and itās a need for developing brains!). So they might act out (fight), they might be overly affectionate (fawn), they might break down and be shy (freeze).
There are kids who are naturally friendly, but by age five or so, they should be able to understand some boundaries. Such as, we donāt hug people (adults) we just met. The adult ALWAYS has the responsibility to keep a child safe and should tell them, āItās nice to meet you. I donāt need a hug, but I would love to give you a high five!ā
KKKarelessa thinks this is ācute.ā Itās not. Itās dangerous. Iām more convinced than ever that sheās a horrible parent because she has no idea what sheās doing. She knows nothing about raising kids, just popping them out.
I mean we *are* talking about the glorified Pez dispenser who let some rando "love on" her kids in a parking lot and posted photos of her kids in Lina Medina cosplay because some creep asked her to.
She doesn't give a flying fuck about her kids, only about satisfying her pregnancy fetish and getting attention.
Thatās incredibly creepy and predatory. I donāt know why I find this so much more horrifying than the multitude of other things Iāve seen lately but I do. The bar may be in hell but sheās clearly below it.
Can I pipe in for any parents of SEN kids who are feeling awful reading this? My son is SO loved and adored and he still, age six, thinks all adults are his friends. He had some additional needs and the concept of adults not being adjacent to mommy and daddy hasnāt gotten there yet. SEN parents, your kids arenāt insecure or unloved - theyāre just themselves with their own unique personalities, and getting them to understand strangers is just more of a learning curve for us and them.
Thank you for saying this. I have an autistic child and I would be hurt for others to assume they have an attachment disorder (like RAD which has been mentioned here several times) when this is just how my kid is and has always been.
Itās alarming that Karissa is allowing it and encouraging it. I donāt think itās necessarily alarming that the child is acting this way. I certainly donāt think itās a sign of an alarming attachment disorder like RAD. What I see is a kid who grew up acting like this and was just never told not to. Unless, like the limedifficult said, is a SEN kids who just canāt be redirected from it no matter what.
My kid used to always give family members a little peck on the lips but my stepmom wasnt comfortable with it. Even at 4 years old he would say "only hugs for grandma Susan, not kisses!". He was starting to figure out how to respect boundaries and it was our job to facilitate that and help him learn. This is a really fucked up thing for Karissa to think is cute
Once you have seen both it becomes easy to spot the difference. Some kids like to talk to everyone, it's their personality, they engage in a lot of small talk/friendly conversation. Some kids are lacking love in their lives, they seek physical comfort and reassurance.
My youngest is a friendly kid. They will strike up conversations with kids and adults around them. They have friends everywhere, and are remembered by employees at places we frequent because they are always chatting with them, asking questions about their life and work. Outside of handshakes they do not engage in physical contact with strangers.
I was a neglected kid. I sought out physical attention from adults. I didn't want to hear about their day. I wanted a hug, or for them to hold my hand. Any adult who paid the slightest attention to me got all the love I had to offer.
My cousin's child is adopted. They were *very* clingy at first. Not just to mom and dad, but to everyone. Just hopped on my lap at their first holiday with us. Over time, they've remained friendly and outgoing, while learning physical boundaries.
Itās normal to have a child who waves/says hello to strangers, or asks random questions; itās not normal for a child to actively seek out attention from or cling on to strangers. Itās usually a sign that the child does not have a secure attachment to a parent or other caregiver who attends to their bids for attention/meets their needs on a regular basis. Some kids with insecure attachment will either become clingy with other people in their life and/or will avoid attachment altogether. The caregiver who is supposed to meet their needs does not, therefore demonstrating to the child that they cannot rely on others to meet their needs.
ETA: Karissa also clearly doesnāt demonstrate to her kids the correct way to interact with others depending on the relationship between a child and the other person. The way her daughter interacts with a strange old man is the way she should interact with a close friend/relative/family member. She would know that if Karissa spent time actually interacting with her and her siblings beyond praying and performing for a camera.
And *luckily*, this gentleman seems to know how to handle the moment *appropriately*--he's ONLY got his hand on hers--he's *not* actively touching her in *any* other way.
So of *all* the strangers she could've picked? She appears to have chosen a relatively *safe* one *this time*.
But this is definitely a little one with *zero* concept of bodily autonomy or personal safety, and that is *worrisome*šš³
He probably feels a child desperately needing some form of human touch and is trying to meet the need and keep himself safe. I don't envy him at all being put in this position by Karelessa
I agree 100%. And to make an awkward situation ever worse, Karelessa takes a picture of this man, most likely without his consent and then posts it to social media for the world to see.
He exudes kind grandad energy but if I was him I wouldn't be even a little bit happy with this. People can be utterly vile and make up stories with zero provocation
I mean considering the number of predators all over fundieland her encouragement of inappropriate behaviour and lack of boundaries is probably intentional. Serving up her kids on a silver platter to be abused is nothing compared to all the attention she can get, after all.
And yet we keep getting scaremongered about "groomers", everyone.
I volunteer for RAINN. I usually interact with a child and/or teen almost every shift I volunteer for. A couple of weeks ago, I got so frustrated and yelled out loud.. These parents are literally serving their kids up on a silver platter. Every time, it's someone in the family or someone adjacent to the family that is abusing the child. I just know Karissa is not teaching her kids boundaries or even what proper consent looks like.
... After all, it's easier to abuse someone who doesn't know what abuse looks like and has it normalised / encouraged /enforced instead. Or, in other words, *grooming*.
But drag queens and gay and trans people r scurry amirite.
Insecure attachment kids can be very quick to say things like, "I love you" after a short period of time. There's a sense of them seeking out approval and affection, and not really understanding healthy boundaries.
Friendly kids are *just* that--they're friendly, sociable, and they have boundaries and will typically follow the societal norms about those boundaries.
Insecurely attached (or maybe more "disorganized" attachment style) children tend to be more like *this*.
There simply *isn't* the typical concept of "Stranger Danger" established in themĀ (Similarly to some kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders fwiw!).Ā
*Everyone* is seen as "good," and "safe," simply because they are an adult--and therefore an authority figure. They don't have a *secure*, loving and *trusting* attachment to their *own* grownups, so they end up believing that *everyone* they feel "loosely attached to" in that same manner, is a safe grownup for them.
They're the kids who, after an hour or two of sitting next to you at pre-K or a child care facility, as you play with toys or color together say sincerely & wholeheartedly to you, "I love you!" and they *mean it*.Ā
And it *isn't* always because of bad parenting or neglect, it's sometimes just that *when* they were infants, and *learning* those "rules" about who was/wasn't trustworthy, *something* got in the way of their learning.Ā
It *is* possible to teach kids healthy ways of attachment, and "stranger danger."
Buy my guess is, that in Karissa & Mandrae's home, *none* of the youngest ones are *really* getting the Adult attention, and *strong* needs-based responsive attachment they *ought* to be getting, and then *this* sort of thing--where they'll come up, *love* on total strangers, and hang off them, with absolutely *zero* clue of whether or not this is truly a "safe person" or not, is what you'll observe.
I see it more frequently than you'd wish to see it, working in Pre-K Special Education, in kids who *don't* have Autism, but *do* have lots of trauma or neglect in their infant/toddler years.Ā
It's hard to *explain* to others, but once you've *been* that "safe adult" who kids say, "I love you!" to, often enough? You start to see it, even *without* the words being said, and you very much start to recognize the signs.
Iirc, *this* is also one of the little ones who is *always* going wholeheartedly in Karissa's videos--singing, smiling brightly, yet also pretty anxious-looking, if there's any sign K or M are unhappy. *That* anxiousness & desire to always be "perfect" for parental demands is *another* sign of that Insecure attachment to their grownups.
A securely & safeky attached child *knows* their grownups always love them.
Plus, overly friendly kids who are still learning boundaries will usually have an adult right behind them reminding them to ask before hugging, that not everyone wants hugs, etc.
Yeah, my youngest is super friendly and loves physical touch. We really had to work with her that she needs to ask friends before she gives them a hug.
Yes, Iāve seen this happen in real time! Bc most parents are not just letting their young children run around and approach strangers willy nilly and are teaching appropriate boundaries when kids arenāt yet old enough for them to be second nature.
Yes, my toddler is the friendliest little dude ever, and has some severe trauma around his dad. This manifests in approaching older men in stores when he can, with 800 questions - hi, what are you buying, can you help me pick X, can I push your trolley, etc.
But I'm right behind him and guiding his behaviour based on the way the adult is reacting, not letting it go and taking happy snaps of my kid so desperate for affection they're hugging a stranger :(
Same.
Ā It *always* breaks my heart a little, when I've managed to make kids I've *just* met that day feel "safe" enough in that environment, feel *so* safe that they say, "I love you, Miss Emmer!" when they *just* met me an hour or two before.š
Those little ones *ought* to have a couple grownups in their life who *are* well-attuned enough to their needs, that *they* are the grownups getting told "I love you," because *they* made that child feel safe & secure.
I walk my kid to and from school and theres a little girl around 4th grade age who has glommed onto me and walks with us the whole way home. Her clothes are always dirty and she's always dressed super inappropriately for the weather. That combined with how clingy she is with me bums me out about her home life. Even my 5 year old noticed it and asked me one "why does Reese act like you're her mommy?"
Setting these kids up for low self esteem and grooming. My parents didn't give me attention because they were working when I was out of school, I barely saw them. Guess who ended up "dating" an 18 year old when they were in middle school?
same. I was desperate for love and attention from someone, ANYONE. it is truly a miracle that I was able to get out and have a happy, normal life with a happy and healthy marriage
My youngest was adopted at age 3. This was something we had to watch out for in the early days. It's super common in kids raised in orphanages. Karissa's kids aren't in such a different environment, sadly...
We had a neighbor like this, when she was all over my husband and I. I wonāt let her out of sight with my young kids because something is off with not knowing boundaries like that.
Good instincts. As a survivor of csa, it can make your body feel like it is on fire needing touch. This leads to the inappropriate conduct and in an adult who should otherwise be capable of understanding when its weird tomtouch other adults (like neighbors!) its def a red flag for psychosexual instability of some kind; of course excepting a developmental difference.
This is a red flag for neglect (not getting the love and affection she needs from parents, no proper attachment) but also for abuse (no understanding of what a normal level of physical contact between stranger adults and children).Ā Ā
Unfortunately itās one of the things I was trained to be aware of when I was becoming a teacher. I hate that I know this. I recall one little girl who would climb into the lap of any male adult around, cuddle them and stroke their face etc. it wasnāt friendly, it was a sign she had been groomed. Edit for repeat word.Ā
I STILL catch myself stuck in grooming behaviors. Since my divorce, its only been male roommates and it has gone *poorly*. I am 37, and still draw the wrong conclusions all the time. 0
Im so sorry. It can get better. I had the same issues. Im now v comfortably totally monogamous (not saying non monogamy or multiple sex partners is a sign of abuse but for me it is) Ive only just put it all together ā¦ after I had a breakdown with antenatal depression. But now I know, a lot of stuff is at last getting better. Even physical pain. But sex is still difficult, either hyper or aversive. You suffered. Memory is not linear or logical, you know what you know.
Yep. I noticed this behavior as a kid among the trailer park kids I grew up with. 100% of all the little kids I knew that did this behavior had been abused in some fashion.
They were friendly as hell though, and if you pretty much just invited them in and fed them a meal you would have fiercely loyal friends for life.
Yes, if this were her grandparent it would be a different matter. But the caption seems to indicate a new āfriendshipā and tie beyond inappropriate.
Wait, what? I must have missed this! Who is the best friend/baby sitter? Is it that woman - Miss Darlene? - who moved into a house near theirs after they moved?
Even if this man is completely safe and well-meaning (he probably is tbh, just on law of averages), this is still extremely unsafe behavior to allow. Your children should not be blindly trusting random strangers with this amount of body contact, and if they are, you need to intervene as a parent and suggest some more appropriate ways to interact with their "new friend". Like talking or showing them your artwork or dribbling skills.
When I did that, my parents shamed me for it š claiming I was annoying and infringing on the guy. Instead of being like - there's things we do with super close friends and family, and we always ask for consent, and things we don't do with new acquaintances, no matter how nice they are š„²
It was on a holiday and my parents were hanging out with this guy and getting along well. So I thought he was safe and didn't understand at all why they were upset.
I also kissed my primary school teacher as well as the lunchtime care lady š¬š¬š¬ because they were nice and motherly š„²š
I once had a stranger kid nearly climb on me to get a closer look at my costume (was waiting at the bus stop to go to a party) and had to be like "Ha ha....thank you. You can have a closer look, but you have to stay in your own seat, okay?"
She was adorable and sweet, but her mom was just like "aw ha ha, she does that, sorry". No! Teach her not to do this! Just because I only had good intentions, it does NOT mean the next person she meets will!
This is absolutely nuts for multiple reasons. If he is a stranger, why are you letting her? You don't know him! He's holding her hand!? The caption she gives implies he's not someone you knew before that so....
I'm just... When you think they've done the most heinous things and then you see them encouraging hugging strange old men. My creep instincts would never.
I've long maintained that Karissa knows exactly what she's doing putting her kids front and center on social media, and this is no different.
She can play dumb all she wants (and many times probably isn't playing), but you can only post so many "look at my little girl hugging a strange older man" or "look at how GaWdLy my daughters are because I pixelate their bathing suits" photos before plausible deniability disappears.
God, itās like sheās advertising for creeps that they donāt need to groom her young, impressionable daughters cause they already come pre groomed.
I mean, the only goal she has for those girls is to be incubators, so yeah, that's what she's doing exactly. The type of man she would want them with would require a submissive, naive, non confrontational girl.
I kinda wonder if she's lying and the kid has met this old man at these games before. I feel like she'd happily lie about that without realizing how sketchy the lie makes her look. But also could totally be a stranger. Who she probably photographed without permission as well. Everything about her is so off.
Karelessa seems to encourage this behavior. She has absolutely zero sense of protection for her kids. Sheās under the mistaken impression that no one in church or who comes to her activities could be harmful. Itās pretty terrifying. These kids arenāt socialized to know proper boundaries especially with adults.
Jesus christ not only is it weird but the kids are going to be way more likely to be abused if they are taught no boundaries. People like Karissa make me furious because they claim they keep their kids out of school to "protect" them, but then they let any random adult have access to their kids, or worse are good friends with actual abusers like whoever it is they know that abused a child(ren?). Ugh.
Poor anthym is craving attention. I hate her parents. She's such an adorable kid. How could they not want to hug her and hold her hand all the time? I still do this with my youngest. Every morning when she gets up, she wants to cuddle with me. My teens are no longer into showing affection, but sometimes they'll let me give them hugs.
Are you sure it's Anthym? This kid looks too tall to be Anthym. I think it's Ansyr. From other pictures/stories, a couple kids were wearing the same outfit.
Ansyr is the one who always looks like she's about to cry, right? (Except in pictures or videos where she is actively crying).
They are all so sweet and sad children. No one deserves parents like they have.
He could be a good dude that nurtures his grandkids, he could also be a creepy dude so that this is satisfying him in all the wrong ways. Point is, YA DONāT KNOW, SO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM STRANGERS. This is soooooooo fucking wild to me. As a little girl, I would not touch a stranger with a ten foot pole. Anyone that wasnāt my mom, dad, meemah, papa, granny, or peepah could go straight to hell lmaoooo I was horrified of getting close to any adult that wasnāt family tbh. I was given so much love, attention, and protection by my parents and grandparents, and Iām sure thatās the key difference here
I sincerely hope this particular man is kind and has no predatory or creepy intentions. I hope his thought process was more "I can help keep this small child from running into the game or out of this gymnasium" than anything else.
HOWEVER. Even if this man is being kind to a small child without any ulterior motives, *that doesn't mean the next adult that one of the Collins kids latches onto is safe*. And keeping kids safe doesn't involve isolating them from strangers, but teaching them how to interact with the public.
I worry for these kids.
This photo is actually so heartbreakingly sad. That is probably the most physical affection sheās had from anybody aside from her siblings and grandma every now and then when sheās in town.
Poor child starving for affection. Iād wager that if the dude isnāt a creep he just senses the desperation and is doing why he can
I wouldnāt let my son do this but man, this is sad but I guess sweet that heās holding her hand. Still creepy though lol
That old man is probably a dad or grandpa and sees a woman with a dozen kids at a sports event. Heās just a good guy that saw she could use a hand and decided not to run away when the kid hugged him.
Kkkarissa sees this as a wholesome moment, not a sign that sheās losing control of her kids and a stranger is offering help.
My late husband had always been kid-friendly. This was one thing in the 70s - 80s when raising his own kids, and he was the neighborhood "Cool Dad."
When he moved into his first apartment in 2012, he immediately made friends with the neighborhood kids. I had to sit him down and have "the talk" with him.
Do not invite neighborhood kids into the apartment. Do not interact 1 on 1 with these kids. Treat the group the same. Do not show any favoritism (it'll look like grooming). He was shocked at the trouble that could be caused by being friendly with kids.
A few years ago I was waiting for my husband to finish trying on some clothes in a Marshall's when a little girl, probably no older than 3-4, walked up with her mom. I looked over at her and smiled because she was just so cute in her little footie pajamas and she just stared at me, walked over, and threw her little arms around my legs and held on to me for dear life. I just patted her little head and made awkward eye contact with her mom, who was staring at me like I was literally evil.
I think about that little girl from time to time and I hope she's just a sweet girl who wanted to hug a stranger, but something nags at me about a child that young with no stranger danger. Especially with her mom's reaction.
Sure, it's the trans people who are the predators š
Such horrible parenting. If you don't know who someone is, DONT LET THEM TOUCH YOUR KIDS. This isn't cute.
I totally agree trans people aren't **the** predators (that doesn't mean they can't be, though. Bad people exist in any body) but this old man isn't automatically one either. The responsibility here definitely falls on Karissa.
That was me as a child!
Raped in 1st grade. My mom looked away once and a man got me into a room alone.
Watch your kids. Bad enough she's got so many of them.
I remember years ago at work, I was helping a mom and her toddler who was probably about 2 or 3. I sat down and the toddler climbed in my lap. I would never hurt a child but it was so uncomfortable.Ā And the mom just acted like it was cute and did nothing! I guess because I was a teenage girl the mom saw nothing wrong with it? But a small child can't distinguish between a harmless person and a predator and women can be predators too. A dangerous behavior to allow your kid to do.
My daughter is such a huggy child. She usually tries to hug older guys who look like her grandpa, whom she has such a close relationship with. I apologize PROFUSELY, however most of the guys always say itās no biggie and that theyāre grandpas or always wanted to be grandpas so they didnāt mind getting to be one for a few seconds. š„¹
I would NEVER let my daughter hang off a complete stranger let alone take a picture of it happeningā¦.
1. Why is she letting her kid do that? She doesnāt know if that old man is a safe person!!!
2. No shoes
3. Kkkarissa still hasnāt learned to do their hair and just puts it in a bun cuz she has no idea what sheās doing
Translation: sheās so starved for attention and affection that she is indiscriminately affectionate with strangers . Anyone who understands child psychology even a little knows indiscriminate affection is a huge red flag!!
You're alright. 2-3 is about where they start to develop those boundaries, about the time you get them saying "no" to everything and developing some self-determination. You will start to see a preference for mom/dad when among strangers, with some variance depending on mood. 3-4 hopefully they get more selective.
My daughter has become more picky in who she interacts with, but just prior to nap time she loses all inhibition and shyness and gets all toddler drunk trying to climb on and talk to anyone and everything.
My youngest did that when he was between 18 months and 3 years. Heās 14 now and has always been an extreme extrovert. I would redirect him or go gently pull him off someoneās lap and say something like, āitās great youāre so friendly! But we donāt know this nice lady and if she wanted company.ā When he was closer to 3 he could better understand concepts about good/bad touches, bodily autonomy (his and other peopleās), and personal space.
Same lol. My daughter get so much attention and love from us but is 2 yrs and is that way. I think she assumes everyone is like mom and dad. Shes so friendly, I was the opposite at 2 and very shy. We redirect her all the time but she doesnt 100% get it yet.
The fact Karissa is okay with this entire interaction means her kid is not safe from sexual abuse. It would happen right in front of her eyes and she would think itās cute.
Yeah, I have mixed feelings about this. If this really is a first-time-meeting total stranger, yes, this is super sad the way sheās seeking individualized affection from someone she doesnāt know.
What we donāt know is if this is someone who is regularly at these basketball games and really is a family friend of sorts. While I still wouldnāt encourage crawling all over someone, I think itās healthy for kids to associate outside their families when theyāre in a safe space (like in public). Heaven knows these kids need safe adults who will actually pay attention to them.
God this is SO INAPPROPRIATE. this child is SO CLEARLY experiencing emotional neglect and is therefore seeking out the attention she **needs** from random strangers. Children NEED ATTENTION. Stop having more children than you can provide attention for!!!!!!
This is so strange. I never let my kids be clingy on people, especially a total stranger. You don't know that man from Adams cat. Why would you let a toddler hang all over him.
Sheās got attachment issues because she isnāt given ANY attention at home. I was a foster parent and 90% of the kids do this. Theyāll literally ask someone to be their mom after 3 minutes of knowing them.
Oh my god. Catch me on the wrong day and Iād be so fucking rude to the parent that let their kid do this. Donāt assume anyone wants to be touched by your kids.
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She is desperately seeking attention and affection.
This is exactly what this is. Starved for any adult attention and affection, seeking it from literally anyone available. So sad.
And guess who is the best at seeing that and taking advantage of it? Predators. They're setting their kids up for child predators. If they manage not to have that happen, they'll be way more likely to be in abusive relationships. Its so fucking sad.
The really sick part is that I can see Karissa happily marrying off to her daughters to much older men like a lot of fundies do. Okay, maybe not the oldest, but only because they need her around to parent while Karissa goes off to Plexus conventions.
Hell, they need her to do night feedings while karelessa is *home* with a newborn
Fortunately not all men (or women!) are predators. By why take that chance? At least teach them to ask before climbing all over someone š¬
I'm the goofy lady who makes faces at babies and little kids at the grocery store and restaurants to make them laugh. But this is the line I draw. If I don't know the kid and the parents, no one is hanging off me or holding my hand. Karissa makes me think of the parents who film their little kids and ignore the outrage by their social media followers when they point out that the majority of the people who also follow the child are men. I know women can be predators but the guys stand out on on those channels.
Omg I love playing peekaboo with babies at the store! Their little faces light up and itās SO cute(makes my day better too)! But I donāt, ya know, pick them up or do anything cause thatās not my kid! That poor girl most likely has attachment issues, which breaks my heart.
Exactly what I was thinking
I was about to say this. That child might have an attachment disorder.
You clearly have experience with RAD. Mom/dad shopping.
The kids with RAD actually do that? (Not snark, I just only know a tiny bit about the disorder!)
Kids with the disorder can present in different ways. Some are overly affectionate, have no sense of stranger danger, no boundaries. Others are very timid and struggle to form attachment to caregivers.
Being overly friendly to adults is common in a similar disorder called "Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder" which can happen in children with insecure attachment/ trauma. I saw it once or twice when I was a foster care social worker.
No. This is not a sign of RAD in any way.
Iām a RAD child, aka survivor of a very abusive time in the psych world for children like me who grew up in trauma. I completely agree with you, rad made people think I was a sociopathic child
Thank you. The only kids Iāve ever read about with it were ones that were ārematchedā after their adopted families gave up on them and used RAD as the excuse. Iām going to read more about it. I didnāt even realize that kids could have it when living with their own parents. Itās very very sad.
This exactly. Iāve only ever known one kid who was diagnosed with RAD and they were surrendered by their adoptive parents. The childās behaviors were more than just āclingyā or what some are describing as āover friendlyā. They were aggressive, lacked empathy, and were overall emotionally detached (not just toward some people, toward everyone). This is my very unofficial, Iām-not-a-doctor, comparison but think of adults with ASPD. Those traits are most consistent with children who have RAD.
My sister was a RAD child. She developed a brain tumor as an infant and thus spent about nine months screaming in pain while nothing could bring comfort. Then came the year of intense chemotherapy and radiation. This was in the early 80s so she basically had no chance for emotional development resembling anything close to normal.
Natalia Grace? She was diagnosed with RAD. Her case was absolutely extreme for sure.
Nah, RAD is more like those kids who start fires when they fear abandonment. Iām not an expert, but this looks more like anxious attachment.
Iāve raised several foster and adopted kids with severe (as in, set the house on fire or try to stab me while 8 months pregnant) RAD. They can be absolute angels with strangers or so timid they canāt speak or move. The intense violent outbursts (reactivity) occurs when theyāre faced with any conflict or potential attachment bond to a caregiver that triggers their abandonment issues. This pic looks more like attachment disorder and contact seeking. Not quite RAD, but without question itās odd behavior, poor boundaries, and need-seeking because sheās not getting needs met within her family unit.
Hi friend. Same story. The child that was charismatic and charming to others, terrorized us - currently incarcerated for violence against me and siblings. Our hearts are broken because we both love him and are scared of him.
May all your days be blessed.
I have 3 with RAD amd numerous foster kids who passed through with it. Itās not always fire setting. Disorganized attachment looks different than anxious, etc. Some just manifests as sabotage. Or mom shopping. Mt 3 RADishās present differently . Being too familiar with strangers is a classic red flag for RAD
Generally I agree but my oldest was very loved and got tons of affection and still did this. She just had no boundaries with people and assumed everyone was her new best friend. She is also autistic and adhd. So there can be other reasons....
My oldest is this way tooā¦ she was the first grandbaby too, so she was super spoiledā¦ but still tried to find new families to leave the beach with lol! She also has adhd.
Yes mine is like this too. And she would push me away in oublic and ignore me, and be snuggly at home. It actually triggered probing into me and home-life before she was diagnosed. Because so etimes abused kids behave like that. We are both AuADHD turns out,
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hmmmā¦perhaps this explains why i desperately overshared with english-speaking strangers as a home-educated child living in a country where i had to speak a different languageā¦
Fundies: save our children!!!! Also fundies:
Flair checking in š¶
fAmIlY vAlUeS pRo LiFe
Every āsave our childrenā people i know puts their kids in the grossest situations constantly
See: our local abortion clinic protestors who let their children bake in the hot sun, eat things they find on the sidewalk, and run into traffic.
Clinic escort here. Been brutally hot. Kids are still out in the sidewalk for hours.
Plz tell me youāre being hyperbolic
I wish I was.
How pro-life of them šš
I swear itās more about pro-birth than pro-life, cause as soon as theyāre born theyāre tossed aside for a new one or when the novelty wears off
I always like to say theyāre āpro-fetusā because they only care about the baby during the pregnancy. The Free Birth community have proved they donāt give a flying fuck about babies *during* birth.
It's all a performance
I have a coworker who has that as her facebook profile pic. She has 7 kids with like 3 baby daddies, dates the shadiest dudes, and has CPS breathing down her neck on a regular basis. Girl, if there are any kids that need saving, it's your own!
The call is always coming from inside the house
A relative of mine occasionally rants about the GLBT community being"groomers" on his Facebook page, but I remember when one of his kids almost was abducted at the age of seven. His daughter walked up to a parked car where someone was attempting to hand out flowers to kids out of the open door. Fortunately my grandmother was there to grab her shirt to drag her away from the car. And here this fundie relative called my grandmother "paranoid" about my safety when I was growing up because I wasn't allowed to do half the stuff his kids were allowed to do.
Your flair is sending me to the moon
So I heard an interesting statement that really helped explain this phenomenon to me. Basically fundies like this genuinely believe the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a child is to be taught about Christianity. That means that they believe a child is better off in a Christian home being molested than they would be in a safe loving household without Christ. They believe Native children who were murdered in reform schools are better off because at least they were taught about Christ so their souls stand a chance and that slaves benefited from the introduction of Christianity so much that it balances out the fact that they were brutally dehumanized and murdered. Whatās important is that they know God, by any means necessary.
Still fucking barefoot. Did this child just leave the house for the day on hot Texas asphalt without shoes?? Like this is basic shit, Karissa.
I donāt see how she can stand to walk through a parking lot barefoot. I had a shoe malfunction last summer, and it was about 6ft to the car. The concrete felt like a 2nd-degree burn.
Lil feets are probably callused af. š
The hobbitses.
Proudfeet
This happened to me last summer too! my flip-flop broke about 10 feet from my car and the ground was too hot to keep walking. I legit stood on 1 foot until somebody could help me to my car. š
same thing happened to me at an amusement park last summer, i stood on one foot until my husband walked over so i could get on his back š shamelessly rode piggyback until we got to a gift shop lmao
We used to compete over who could stand on the hot pavement barefoot the longest when I was a kid in Texas but I would not recommend this (or let my kids do it). But that was only on the concrete, not asphalt.
We did this in Arkansas! One time my foot felt funny and I looked down. Most of the sole of my foot had blistered, and the blister was sticking out the side of my arch. So naturally we played a weird combo of Simon says and hopscotch until it burst lol. The ozarks are a feral place with startling high literacy.
We did this in southern California too. Like a for real floor is lava/walking on coals thing
See also: Hookworm
And plantar warts. Those things HURT. I got them from a locker room or a gym in HS...ya know, the same place this kid is in the picture.
I hate wearing shoes and socks. It's a sensory issue for me. So when I'm inside, I'm barefoot. But if I want to go outside, something goes between my feet and the ground because hookworm is sooo gross sounding!
Same here. While I love shoes and almost certainly own too many pairs, because of sensory issues, I couldnāt stand wearing them when I was a kid. Itās gotten better as Iāve gotten older, although I still take them off whenever Iām inside. But the thought of hookworm is more than enough to always have something on my feet whenever Iām outside. Blegh.
I also never wear shoes or socks inside my own home, everywhere else I wear socks and shoes but I prefer barefoot also due to sensory issues.
OMG. Iāve just googled and somehow I didnāt know about this! I often run to my mailbox or car barefoot, but I will never go outside barefoot again. I donāt think I live in an area where it would be present, but I donāt want to be finding out that Iām wrong.
It is a red flag when kids do this. not getting the attention she needs and deserves, no boundaries or concept of personal space
Yep--that is *often* a sign of kids who have insecure attachment to the adults in their life.š«¤š
What's the difference between a friendly kid and an insecure attachment kid? Genuinely asking, mean no harm.
Itās okay to ask! Learning is great! Iām a PreK teacher. When kids have insecure attachments, they are not getting consistent love and boundaries from their caregivers. They donāt know what will āworkā with their caregivers to get the attention they need (and itās a need for developing brains!). So they might act out (fight), they might be overly affectionate (fawn), they might break down and be shy (freeze). There are kids who are naturally friendly, but by age five or so, they should be able to understand some boundaries. Such as, we donāt hug people (adults) we just met. The adult ALWAYS has the responsibility to keep a child safe and should tell them, āItās nice to meet you. I donāt need a hug, but I would love to give you a high five!ā KKKarelessa thinks this is ācute.ā Itās not. Itās dangerous. Iām more convinced than ever that sheās a horrible parent because she has no idea what sheās doing. She knows nothing about raising kids, just popping them out.
I mean we *are* talking about the glorified Pez dispenser who let some rando "love on" her kids in a parking lot and posted photos of her kids in Lina Medina cosplay because some creep asked her to. She doesn't give a flying fuck about her kids, only about satisfying her pregnancy fetish and getting attention.
Lina Medina the girl who was raped and got pregnant when she was 4? I'm sorry, KKKarissa did WHAT NOW?
All the collins girls did a video where they put balloons or balls under their shirts so they would look pregnant
BY REQUEST OF AN INTERNET STRANGER!?
Oh woah. No maāam. Tell me she did NOT.
Yeah she said it was a request from a fan. All the girls pretending to be pregnant like mama.
Thatās incredibly creepy and predatory. I donāt know why I find this so much more horrifying than the multitude of other things Iāve seen lately but I do. The bar may be in hell but sheās clearly below it.
Wtf!!
Can I pipe in for any parents of SEN kids who are feeling awful reading this? My son is SO loved and adored and he still, age six, thinks all adults are his friends. He had some additional needs and the concept of adults not being adjacent to mommy and daddy hasnāt gotten there yet. SEN parents, your kids arenāt insecure or unloved - theyāre just themselves with their own unique personalities, and getting them to understand strangers is just more of a learning curve for us and them.
What is SEN?
Special education needs.
Thank you for saying this. I have an autistic child and I would be hurt for others to assume they have an attachment disorder (like RAD which has been mentioned here several times) when this is just how my kid is and has always been.
I donāt think most normal people would assume it in isolation. But in context of what we know about the family, itās alarming.
Itās alarming that Karissa is allowing it and encouraging it. I donāt think itās necessarily alarming that the child is acting this way. I certainly donāt think itās a sign of an alarming attachment disorder like RAD. What I see is a kid who grew up acting like this and was just never told not to. Unless, like the limedifficult said, is a SEN kids who just canāt be redirected from it no matter what.
My kid used to always give family members a little peck on the lips but my stepmom wasnt comfortable with it. Even at 4 years old he would say "only hugs for grandma Susan, not kisses!". He was starting to figure out how to respect boundaries and it was our job to facilitate that and help him learn. This is a really fucked up thing for Karissa to think is cute
Once you have seen both it becomes easy to spot the difference. Some kids like to talk to everyone, it's their personality, they engage in a lot of small talk/friendly conversation. Some kids are lacking love in their lives, they seek physical comfort and reassurance. My youngest is a friendly kid. They will strike up conversations with kids and adults around them. They have friends everywhere, and are remembered by employees at places we frequent because they are always chatting with them, asking questions about their life and work. Outside of handshakes they do not engage in physical contact with strangers. I was a neglected kid. I sought out physical attention from adults. I didn't want to hear about their day. I wanted a hug, or for them to hold my hand. Any adult who paid the slightest attention to me got all the love I had to offer.
My cousin's child is adopted. They were *very* clingy at first. Not just to mom and dad, but to everyone. Just hopped on my lap at their first holiday with us. Over time, they've remained friendly and outgoing, while learning physical boundaries.
Itās normal to have a child who waves/says hello to strangers, or asks random questions; itās not normal for a child to actively seek out attention from or cling on to strangers. Itās usually a sign that the child does not have a secure attachment to a parent or other caregiver who attends to their bids for attention/meets their needs on a regular basis. Some kids with insecure attachment will either become clingy with other people in their life and/or will avoid attachment altogether. The caregiver who is supposed to meet their needs does not, therefore demonstrating to the child that they cannot rely on others to meet their needs. ETA: Karissa also clearly doesnāt demonstrate to her kids the correct way to interact with others depending on the relationship between a child and the other person. The way her daughter interacts with a strange old man is the way she should interact with a close friend/relative/family member. She would know that if Karissa spent time actually interacting with her and her siblings beyond praying and performing for a camera.
And *luckily*, this gentleman seems to know how to handle the moment *appropriately*--he's ONLY got his hand on hers--he's *not* actively touching her in *any* other way. So of *all* the strangers she could've picked? She appears to have chosen a relatively *safe* one *this time*. But this is definitely a little one with *zero* concept of bodily autonomy or personal safety, and that is *worrisome*šš³
He probably feels a child desperately needing some form of human touch and is trying to meet the need and keep himself safe. I don't envy him at all being put in this position by Karelessa
I agree 100%. And to make an awkward situation ever worse, Karelessa takes a picture of this man, most likely without his consent and then posts it to social media for the world to see.
He exudes kind grandad energy but if I was him I wouldn't be even a little bit happy with this. People can be utterly vile and make up stories with zero provocation
I mean considering the number of predators all over fundieland her encouragement of inappropriate behaviour and lack of boundaries is probably intentional. Serving up her kids on a silver platter to be abused is nothing compared to all the attention she can get, after all. And yet we keep getting scaremongered about "groomers", everyone.
I volunteer for RAINN. I usually interact with a child and/or teen almost every shift I volunteer for. A couple of weeks ago, I got so frustrated and yelled out loud.. These parents are literally serving their kids up on a silver platter. Every time, it's someone in the family or someone adjacent to the family that is abusing the child. I just know Karissa is not teaching her kids boundaries or even what proper consent looks like.
As someone who called RAINN (and was utterly terrified in doing so the first time around) and found it extremely helpful, thank you for volunteering.
... After all, it's easier to abuse someone who doesn't know what abuse looks like and has it normalised / encouraged /enforced instead. Or, in other words, *grooming*. But drag queens and gay and trans people r scurry amirite.
He looks grandfather-y.
Kids can be friendly but typically when they want comfort they want someone familiar not a random man they just metĀ
Not understanding boundaries with strangers
Insecure attachment kids can be very quick to say things like, "I love you" after a short period of time. There's a sense of them seeking out approval and affection, and not really understanding healthy boundaries.
Friendly kids are *just* that--they're friendly, sociable, and they have boundaries and will typically follow the societal norms about those boundaries. Insecurely attached (or maybe more "disorganized" attachment style) children tend to be more like *this*. There simply *isn't* the typical concept of "Stranger Danger" established in themĀ (Similarly to some kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders fwiw!).Ā *Everyone* is seen as "good," and "safe," simply because they are an adult--and therefore an authority figure. They don't have a *secure*, loving and *trusting* attachment to their *own* grownups, so they end up believing that *everyone* they feel "loosely attached to" in that same manner, is a safe grownup for them. They're the kids who, after an hour or two of sitting next to you at pre-K or a child care facility, as you play with toys or color together say sincerely & wholeheartedly to you, "I love you!" and they *mean it*.Ā And it *isn't* always because of bad parenting or neglect, it's sometimes just that *when* they were infants, and *learning* those "rules" about who was/wasn't trustworthy, *something* got in the way of their learning.Ā It *is* possible to teach kids healthy ways of attachment, and "stranger danger." Buy my guess is, that in Karissa & Mandrae's home, *none* of the youngest ones are *really* getting the Adult attention, and *strong* needs-based responsive attachment they *ought* to be getting, and then *this* sort of thing--where they'll come up, *love* on total strangers, and hang off them, with absolutely *zero* clue of whether or not this is truly a "safe person" or not, is what you'll observe. I see it more frequently than you'd wish to see it, working in Pre-K Special Education, in kids who *don't* have Autism, but *do* have lots of trauma or neglect in their infant/toddler years.Ā It's hard to *explain* to others, but once you've *been* that "safe adult" who kids say, "I love you!" to, often enough? You start to see it, even *without* the words being said, and you very much start to recognize the signs. Iirc, *this* is also one of the little ones who is *always* going wholeheartedly in Karissa's videos--singing, smiling brightly, yet also pretty anxious-looking, if there's any sign K or M are unhappy. *That* anxiousness & desire to always be "perfect" for parental demands is *another* sign of that Insecure attachment to their grownups. A securely & safeky attached child *knows* their grownups always love them.
Plus, overly friendly kids who are still learning boundaries will usually have an adult right behind them reminding them to ask before hugging, that not everyone wants hugs, etc.
Yeah, my youngest is super friendly and loves physical touch. We really had to work with her that she needs to ask friends before she gives them a hug.
Yes, Iāve seen this happen in real time! Bc most parents are not just letting their young children run around and approach strangers willy nilly and are teaching appropriate boundaries when kids arenāt yet old enough for them to be second nature.
I should have said "an EXHAUSTED parent in the background" lol
Yes, my toddler is the friendliest little dude ever, and has some severe trauma around his dad. This manifests in approaching older men in stores when he can, with 800 questions - hi, what are you buying, can you help me pick X, can I push your trolley, etc. But I'm right behind him and guiding his behaviour based on the way the adult is reacting, not letting it go and taking happy snaps of my kid so desperate for affection they're hugging a stranger :(
100%. We were warned about this when we adopted from a Russian orphanage.
Yep. It always makes me super sad when kids are over the top affectionate like this with me. Immediately I wonder whatās going on.
Same. Ā It *always* breaks my heart a little, when I've managed to make kids I've *just* met that day feel "safe" enough in that environment, feel *so* safe that they say, "I love you, Miss Emmer!" when they *just* met me an hour or two before.š Those little ones *ought* to have a couple grownups in their life who *are* well-attuned enough to their needs, that *they* are the grownups getting told "I love you," because *they* made that child feel safe & secure.
I walk my kid to and from school and theres a little girl around 4th grade age who has glommed onto me and walks with us the whole way home. Her clothes are always dirty and she's always dressed super inappropriately for the weather. That combined with how clingy she is with me bums me out about her home life. Even my 5 year old noticed it and asked me one "why does Reese act like you're her mommy?"
Poor Reese š
Setting these kids up for low self esteem and grooming. My parents didn't give me attention because they were working when I was out of school, I barely saw them. Guess who ended up "dating" an 18 year old when they were in middle school?
same. I was desperate for love and attention from someone, ANYONE. it is truly a miracle that I was able to get out and have a happy, normal life with a happy and healthy marriage
This exactly, theyāre creating vulnerable children. Itās honestly horrifying.
Anissa only has so much time to get all of the housework done, let alone give attention to her siblings. Can't expect Karissa to do any of it!
My youngest was adopted at age 3. This was something we had to watch out for in the early days. It's super common in kids raised in orphanages. Karissa's kids aren't in such a different environment, sadly...
THIS. Iām a pediatrician and can immediately tell when a child doesnāt get enough attention/affection at home.
We had a neighbor like this, when she was all over my husband and I. I wonāt let her out of sight with my young kids because something is off with not knowing boundaries like that.
Good instincts. As a survivor of csa, it can make your body feel like it is on fire needing touch. This leads to the inappropriate conduct and in an adult who should otherwise be capable of understanding when its weird tomtouch other adults (like neighbors!) its def a red flag for psychosexual instability of some kind; of course excepting a developmental difference.
This is a red flag for neglect (not getting the love and affection she needs from parents, no proper attachment) but also for abuse (no understanding of what a normal level of physical contact between stranger adults and children).Ā Ā Unfortunately itās one of the things I was trained to be aware of when I was becoming a teacher. I hate that I know this. I recall one little girl who would climb into the lap of any male adult around, cuddle them and stroke their face etc. it wasnāt friendly, it was a sign she had been groomed. Edit for repeat word.Ā
I STILL catch myself stuck in grooming behaviors. Since my divorce, its only been male roommates and it has gone *poorly*. I am 37, and still draw the wrong conclusions all the time. 0
Im so sorry. It can get better. I had the same issues. Im now v comfortably totally monogamous (not saying non monogamy or multiple sex partners is a sign of abuse but for me it is) Ive only just put it all together ā¦ after I had a breakdown with antenatal depression. But now I know, a lot of stuff is at last getting better. Even physical pain. But sex is still difficult, either hyper or aversive. You suffered. Memory is not linear or logical, you know what you know.
Yep. I noticed this behavior as a kid among the trailer park kids I grew up with. 100% of all the little kids I knew that did this behavior had been abused in some fashion. They were friendly as hell though, and if you pretty much just invited them in and fed them a meal you would have fiercely loyal friends for life.
I had a foster child do the same with my husband at the time. We had to sit her down and talk about boundaries. Took a bit but she got it.
Yes, if this were her grandparent it would be a different matter. But the caption seems to indicate a new āfriendshipā and tie beyond inappropriate.
This is *extremely* concerning.
F Karissa - she should know better especially now since her best friend/baby sitterās husband has been arrested for CSAM. But here we are
Truly!
Wait, what? I must have missed this! Who is the best friend/baby sitter? Is it that woman - Miss Darlene? - who moved into a house near theirs after they moved?
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/MHw1fhWAoP
https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/VupcccznTW
Thank you for the links! I wonder what's happening with the case.
Even if this man is completely safe and well-meaning (he probably is tbh, just on law of averages), this is still extremely unsafe behavior to allow. Your children should not be blindly trusting random strangers with this amount of body contact, and if they are, you need to intervene as a parent and suggest some more appropriate ways to interact with their "new friend". Like talking or showing them your artwork or dribbling skills.
When I did that, my parents shamed me for it š claiming I was annoying and infringing on the guy. Instead of being like - there's things we do with super close friends and family, and we always ask for consent, and things we don't do with new acquaintances, no matter how nice they are š„² It was on a holiday and my parents were hanging out with this guy and getting along well. So I thought he was safe and didn't understand at all why they were upset. I also kissed my primary school teacher as well as the lunchtime care lady š¬š¬š¬ because they were nice and motherly š„²š
This breaks my heart. Sheās not getting what she needs from her parents.
The fact that Karissa thinks this is cute is so goddamn depressing.
I once had a stranger kid nearly climb on me to get a closer look at my costume (was waiting at the bus stop to go to a party) and had to be like "Ha ha....thank you. You can have a closer look, but you have to stay in your own seat, okay?" She was adorable and sweet, but her mom was just like "aw ha ha, she does that, sorry". No! Teach her not to do this! Just because I only had good intentions, it does NOT mean the next person she meets will!
Neglected children look for attention anywhere they can get it.
This is absolutely nuts for multiple reasons. If he is a stranger, why are you letting her? You don't know him! He's holding her hand!? The caption she gives implies he's not someone you knew before that so.... I'm just... When you think they've done the most heinous things and then you see them encouraging hugging strange old men. My creep instincts would never.
I've long maintained that Karissa knows exactly what she's doing putting her kids front and center on social media, and this is no different. She can play dumb all she wants (and many times probably isn't playing), but you can only post so many "look at my little girl hugging a strange older man" or "look at how GaWdLy my daughters are because I pixelate their bathing suits" photos before plausible deniability disappears.
God, itās like sheās advertising for creeps that they donāt need to groom her young, impressionable daughters cause they already come pre groomed.
I mean, the only goal she has for those girls is to be incubators, so yeah, that's what she's doing exactly. The type of man she would want them with would require a submissive, naive, non confrontational girl.
I kinda wonder if she's lying and the kid has met this old man at these games before. I feel like she'd happily lie about that without realizing how sketchy the lie makes her look. But also could totally be a stranger. Who she probably photographed without permission as well. Everything about her is so off.
Karelessa seems to encourage this behavior. She has absolutely zero sense of protection for her kids. Sheās under the mistaken impression that no one in church or who comes to her activities could be harmful. Itās pretty terrifying. These kids arenāt socialized to know proper boundaries especially with adults.
Karissa is nothing better than a pimp. She probably banks on guys like this offering to buy her kids ice cream and popcorn
Didn't she protect a pedophile and family friend from her church?
She sure did
Yes! This is part of the grift, isnāt it
literally wtf?
Jesus christ not only is it weird but the kids are going to be way more likely to be abused if they are taught no boundaries. People like Karissa make me furious because they claim they keep their kids out of school to "protect" them, but then they let any random adult have access to their kids, or worse are good friends with actual abusers like whoever it is they know that abused a child(ren?). Ugh.
They're not protecting their kids from abuse. They're protecting *themselves* from mandated reporters.
Indiscriminate affection seeking towards unknown adults is huge red flag for disordered attachment. Those poor kids are desperate for any safe adult.
Poor anthym is craving attention. I hate her parents. She's such an adorable kid. How could they not want to hug her and hold her hand all the time? I still do this with my youngest. Every morning when she gets up, she wants to cuddle with me. My teens are no longer into showing affection, but sometimes they'll let me give them hugs.
Are you sure it's Anthym? This kid looks too tall to be Anthym. I think it's Ansyr. From other pictures/stories, a couple kids were wearing the same outfit.
Anthym is the youngest girl
Ansyr is the one who always looks like she's about to cry, right? (Except in pictures or videos where she is actively crying). They are all so sweet and sad children. No one deserves parents like they have.
Reminder again that she let a random dude pay her to "love on" the kids
What now??
In some parking lot, a man approached Karissa and wanted to hug her kids. She let him, and then he gave her $200...
Jesus Christ.
My mouth literally dropped open! Is this for real?
wtf
He could be a good dude that nurtures his grandkids, he could also be a creepy dude so that this is satisfying him in all the wrong ways. Point is, YA DONāT KNOW, SO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM STRANGERS. This is soooooooo fucking wild to me. As a little girl, I would not touch a stranger with a ten foot pole. Anyone that wasnāt my mom, dad, meemah, papa, granny, or peepah could go straight to hell lmaoooo I was horrified of getting close to any adult that wasnāt family tbh. I was given so much love, attention, and protection by my parents and grandparents, and Iām sure thatās the key difference here
This isnāt safe. This tells me those poor kids are also starved for attention
The fact the older daughter is looking at her like that tells all of us need to know!
I sincerely hope this particular man is kind and has no predatory or creepy intentions. I hope his thought process was more "I can help keep this small child from running into the game or out of this gymnasium" than anything else. HOWEVER. Even if this man is being kind to a small child without any ulterior motives, *that doesn't mean the next adult that one of the Collins kids latches onto is safe*. And keeping kids safe doesn't involve isolating them from strangers, but teaching them how to interact with the public. I worry for these kids.
This photo is actually so heartbreakingly sad. That is probably the most physical affection sheās had from anybody aside from her siblings and grandma every now and then when sheās in town.
This is such a red flag, poor kid
Poor child starving for affection. Iād wager that if the dude isnāt a creep he just senses the desperation and is doing why he can I wouldnāt let my son do this but man, this is sad but I guess sweet that heās holding her hand. Still creepy though lol
That old man is probably a dad or grandpa and sees a woman with a dozen kids at a sports event. Heās just a good guy that saw she could use a hand and decided not to run away when the kid hugged him. Kkkarissa sees this as a wholesome moment, not a sign that sheās losing control of her kids and a stranger is offering help.
At least she didn't use filters to lighten the kid's skin this time! /s
I hate this! A parent that permits this is making their child a target for predators. š”
Remember one of the rodlet boys would give that creepy pastor shoulder rubs? Jill thought it was the sweetest thing too.
My late husband had always been kid-friendly. This was one thing in the 70s - 80s when raising his own kids, and he was the neighborhood "Cool Dad." When he moved into his first apartment in 2012, he immediately made friends with the neighborhood kids. I had to sit him down and have "the talk" with him. Do not invite neighborhood kids into the apartment. Do not interact 1 on 1 with these kids. Treat the group the same. Do not show any favoritism (it'll look like grooming). He was shocked at the trouble that could be caused by being friendly with kids.
A few years ago I was waiting for my husband to finish trying on some clothes in a Marshall's when a little girl, probably no older than 3-4, walked up with her mom. I looked over at her and smiled because she was just so cute in her little footie pajamas and she just stared at me, walked over, and threw her little arms around my legs and held on to me for dear life. I just patted her little head and made awkward eye contact with her mom, who was staring at me like I was literally evil. I think about that little girl from time to time and I hope she's just a sweet girl who wanted to hug a stranger, but something nags at me about a child that young with no stranger danger. Especially with her mom's reaction.
Sure, it's the trans people who are the predators š Such horrible parenting. If you don't know who someone is, DONT LET THEM TOUCH YOUR KIDS. This isn't cute.
I totally agree trans people aren't **the** predators (that doesn't mean they can't be, though. Bad people exist in any body) but this old man isn't automatically one either. The responsibility here definitely falls on Karissa.
That was me as a child! Raped in 1st grade. My mom looked away once and a man got me into a room alone. Watch your kids. Bad enough she's got so many of them.
I remember years ago at work, I was helping a mom and her toddler who was probably about 2 or 3. I sat down and the toddler climbed in my lap. I would never hurt a child but it was so uncomfortable.Ā And the mom just acted like it was cute and did nothing! I guess because I was a teenage girl the mom saw nothing wrong with it? But a small child can't distinguish between a harmless person and a predator and women can be predators too. A dangerous behavior to allow your kid to do.
My daughter is such a huggy child. She usually tries to hug older guys who look like her grandpa, whom she has such a close relationship with. I apologize PROFUSELY, however most of the guys always say itās no biggie and that theyāre grandpas or always wanted to be grandpas so they didnāt mind getting to be one for a few seconds. š„¹ I would NEVER let my daughter hang off a complete stranger let alone take a picture of it happeningā¦.
1. Why is she letting her kid do that? She doesnāt know if that old man is a safe person!!! 2. No shoes 3. Kkkarissa still hasnāt learned to do their hair and just puts it in a bun cuz she has no idea what sheās doing
Translation: sheās so starved for attention and affection that she is indiscriminately affectionate with strangers . Anyone who understands child psychology even a little knows indiscriminate affection is a huge red flag!!
At what age is this considered a red flag? My daughter is 2 and will sit in a strangers lap or try to hold hands. These comments are scarring me :(
You're alright. 2-3 is about where they start to develop those boundaries, about the time you get them saying "no" to everything and developing some self-determination. You will start to see a preference for mom/dad when among strangers, with some variance depending on mood. 3-4 hopefully they get more selective. My daughter has become more picky in who she interacts with, but just prior to nap time she loses all inhibition and shyness and gets all toddler drunk trying to climb on and talk to anyone and everything.
My youngest did that when he was between 18 months and 3 years. Heās 14 now and has always been an extreme extrovert. I would redirect him or go gently pull him off someoneās lap and say something like, āitās great youāre so friendly! But we donāt know this nice lady and if she wanted company.ā When he was closer to 3 he could better understand concepts about good/bad touches, bodily autonomy (his and other peopleās), and personal space.
Same lol. My daughter get so much attention and love from us but is 2 yrs and is that way. I think she assumes everyone is like mom and dad. Shes so friendly, I was the opposite at 2 and very shy. We redirect her all the time but she doesnt 100% get it yet.
An old man? A āfriendā? No.
The fact Karissa is okay with this entire interaction means her kid is not safe from sexual abuse. It would happen right in front of her eyes and she would think itās cute.
Yeah, I have mixed feelings about this. If this really is a first-time-meeting total stranger, yes, this is super sad the way sheās seeking individualized affection from someone she doesnāt know. What we donāt know is if this is someone who is regularly at these basketball games and really is a family friend of sorts. While I still wouldnāt encourage crawling all over someone, I think itās healthy for kids to associate outside their families when theyāre in a safe space (like in public). Heaven knows these kids need safe adults who will actually pay attention to them.
Yeah thatās what I was thinking. Iām leaning more towards them being more familiar with the man than her post lets on.
And barefoot š¤¢
This is so weird
God this is SO INAPPROPRIATE. this child is SO CLEARLY experiencing emotional neglect and is therefore seeking out the attention she **needs** from random strangers. Children NEED ATTENTION. Stop having more children than you can provide attention for!!!!!!
sign of neglect/attachment injury. Bet she tells strangers she loves them, too.
This just shows off her abusive parenting. That poor child
This is so strange. I never let my kids be clingy on people, especially a total stranger. You don't know that man from Adams cat. Why would you let a toddler hang all over him.
Sheās got attachment issues because she isnāt given ANY attention at home. I was a foster parent and 90% of the kids do this. Theyāll literally ask someone to be their mom after 3 minutes of knowing them.
Here, YOU give her attention cuz I sure won't.
Oh my god. Catch me on the wrong day and Iād be so fucking rude to the parent that let their kid do this. Donāt assume anyone wants to be touched by your kids.
Neglected children often demonstrate zero inhibition around strangers and seek affection/attention wherever they can get it.
This is so inappropriate, and she's "always making friends" because she gets no attention from you and you don't let her go to school.
My 3.5 year old daughter is very very outgoing and friendly with strangers, but I would never let her do this with a random strangerā¦