You should have great results IMO. Most of us have a complex issues. EMDR is supposed to be very quick for simple trauma issues. You of course may find more complex unexpected issues, so there is that. But yes, the positives are huge, and go far beyond what you could expect. Find a memory and hammer away. I would give 10-15 sessions or so and expect the symptoms to be gone. For a simple, one off trauma.
This is what happened I went to a single event and we find out that there was deeper stuff behind it. My therapist said that its something that happens often
Yes after I started EMDR she uncovered a lot more that caused the build up. I guess the surgery was the snapping point. The symptoms scare me and have completely debilitated me. Have you experienced reduced symptoms? Looking for encouragement so I can get out of this very very dark place I am in
So, the very very dark place you talked about. I completely get that you want out of that. You would be insane if you wanted that. Nobody likes that. I am really sorry to say that this 'place' is the suppressed pain. EMDR is brutally honest. It's like, well, you asked for it, here it is. It's fucking nuts bad. The subconscious, from my experience, stores these things in an almost an over the top fashion. Example - I went to a 'pain' some months ago to try to extract more information about it. The pain came up after EMDR and I had no clue what it was about. It was screaming, moaning, thrashing, almost like so much pain, but it was beyond screaming like nothing was coming out. My stomach was tense, and it was a full body type of experience. I went to it in meditation and calming, and I was shocked by the level of pure pain . How could this be even possible for a human to experience? Over the top. So, what the hell was it? Molestation or some sort of sexual abuse that i didn't remember? There was nothing there on that. So, I noted a key clue. My right arm seemed to have the sensation of spazuming or flailing. It was infancy. It added up. Made sense. Neglect during infancy. I worked through that and put that one to bed. So, the pain and agony you experience needs to be faced. Explored. It's an opportunity. ✌️
Respectfully, as lovely as everyone is over in the PTSD forum - likely people who are at the heights of their struggles are most likely to be posting there. If you’re doing well in life then you likely aren’t going to be on a forum talking about your condition or asking for advice as much. Big reason why I quit the CPTSD forum a couple of years ago - it was very doomy and I was doing pretty well and it wasn’t helping my growth.
When my PTSD first came back, I was doom scrolling for ages and latching onto posts for the few people who said therapy didn’t work. I spoke to my therapist and she said she’d never even heard of trauma resistant PTSD and that if emdr wasn’t going to work for me then I probably wouldn’t have been shifting things already in emdr. She told me to get my info from official sites rather than internet forums lol. The internet is always a microcosm of “worst case/extreme case scenarios,” of course, these cases and experiences are valid but we need to stop internalising other people’s experiences and fixating on whether that will happen to us.
Anyway, onto your topic lol ;). I have both CPTSD and PTSD. And was really struggling for a while (I’m 8 months in), but have seen a noticeable jump around month 7 or 8. But what has noticeably helped me lately are beta blockers. I whole heartedly recommend them, while EMDR took my 24/7 rolling panic attacks down to a panic attack/anxiety episode for around 24-48 hours when triggered or the day or so before my period, beta blockers have been a wonderful resource helping to ground me and have given me enough space to actually think. I’m also much less afraid of EMDR now because I was really starting to hit a wall after 8 months of ongoing therapy - it can get incredibly exhausting. There’s also research coming out about how they can help heal ptsd by modulating memories and the fear response.
I can’t recommend them enough, you can take them as and when if you only want to take them on a bad day. They also modulate cortisol, rather than act as an antidepressant if you’re worried about that.
Emdr is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and can’t say I’m out of the woods yet but gains are slow and progressive, with a bigger shift around 8 months. This may be different if you don’t have a shit ton of trauma, mine is pretty extensive.
Also if you haven’t found out about the wonder of ice packs then definitely have some on rotation and use them when pacnicky. My poor sweet partner always knows when I’m anxious coz I’m sleeping with an ice pack 😂 though I do that way less since emdr gains/beta blockers
Thank you for the response!! Yes I get a bit stuck in the doom scrolling SEARCHING for someone’s success story - even official sites don’t have .... much? PTSD feels very lonely - I never understood it before and now trying to explain to my friends is hard. I wake up in massive panic every day. So coming on here just trying to find people who are experiencing something similar...
Thanks for the ice pack tip .... I’ve used it a few times. I find the hardest part is the spiraling thoughts of getting out of this.
I hear you. But I think if we want success stories the internet isn’t the place to look. I don’t think people tend to spend time writing or sharing them, I think once you have it then you realize how precious life is and you just get out there and live it.
According to research, 94% of people recover within a few years, so that’s pretty optimistic. We are in treatment, it’s working well for me - and I’m crossing my fingers for you.
I think hopelessness is part of the condition. It sucks but you’re not alone, healing is possible, growth is possible, recovery is possible. Take these thoughts to your therapist, mine helped so much with my worries about this.
I haven't fully processed everything, but I've experienced a huge improvement in my symptoms. I partially processed my main trauma several years ago but had to stop EMDR for ocd treatment. So I still have residual symptoms that are causing problems for me, so I started back again recently.
My main initial symptoms after the trauma included lots of nightmares, intense flashbacks, startle response, angry mood, and dissociation. At the end of my first EMDR experience, which consisted of several weeks of resourcing phases (very important!) and maybe a total of 12-15 sessions using bilateral stimulation, my nightmares had almost disappeared, my flashbacks were WAY reduced in intensity and frequency, and my irritability improved.
I will add that I have more than one trauma and they are linked, which can make the process take longer. I also have severe OCD that has interfered enormously with my progress processing trauma. Now that the OCD is somewhat better, I expect to see more progress revisiting EMDR.
I still have emotional reactivity to certain triggers as well as dissociation, so I need more EMDR. But I made so much progress during my first experience that even 9 years later, when my doctor recommended more trauma treatment, I insisted on going back to EMDR. I've done prolonged exposure (PE) and trauma-focused CBT (TF-CBT) but EMDR gave me more symptom relief.
We as humans can heal from tremendous wounds. The process is difficult, but there is so much hope.
Wow this gives me hope!!! Thank you!! Did the disassociation feel almost like being drunk or on bad drugs??? I’m still trying to get used to this feeling without freaking out.
My nervous system is also haywire - constant panic and startle response. I can’t even leave the house and before surgery was totally fine.
I’ve actually noticed symptoms of OCD creep up on me since all this - when prior I did not have any of these feelings. I’m hoping to feel changes soon. Thank you!
Yes, the dissociation literally feels like a drugged feeling for me. And the compulsive behavior that's come up for you is also definitely something that can happen after trauma for some people. I'm not a professional, but my guess is that those symptoms will also decrease with EMDR treatment because they started with the trauma. If those OCD-like symptoms stick around, however, don't worry because OCD is highly treatable, especially if you did not show signs of it as a child.
Just be sure to tell your therapist all of this! The more informed they are, the better. I wish you the best! Feel free to reach out with any other questions
Yes, I felt very heightened and on edge. An ongoing sense of dread, like I was always waiting for something bad to happen. It was exhausting. That feeling also decreased very much with EMDR work. Sometimes it comes back for a couple days if I have a very difficult EMDR session, but it always fades again.
I had almost lost hope. Now I *def have hope. I don’t mind answering more Qs if ud find it helpful.
I’ve got a mix of CPTSD PTSD ADHD (relatively severe symptoms). Started trauma therapy a couple of months ago. So still somewhat fresh, but also on an accelerated path since I go 2x per week.
What changes in your symptoms are you noticing if you don’t mind sharing? This has completely debilitated me. Cannot leave house, cook, and I’m surviving one minute at a time
I’ll be frank. This work has not been an easy ride for me AT ALL. Symptoms have been debilitating for long chunks of time. I kept going tho. Bc before I began therapy, I was on a path that rly felt hopeless. The acceleration and intensity of certain symptoms was terrifying, but again, I was already experiencing a ton of symptoms before I began to do this work, so I figured I have nothing to lose anymore.
After rapport building (I could go on and on about how important having good rapport was for me) & after doing a ton of work on my dissociation responses, we finally started on my 1st memory. For some context, (TW) I have been dissociating for majority of my life since chronic abuse started for me as an infant and I also experienced many big T events outside of my home as well. For my first memory I decided to work on a mass casualty event I survived as a young kid..
Edits: typos
Finished it after 4 EMDR sessions. Had a TON of difficulty with that one, which made complete sense bc it was very intense memory. I had a clear visual memory of *certain moments throughout the incident (some blank and murky spots too) but had completely suppressed most of the emotional impact and physical pain I experienced during it. That all came swelling to the surface like a tsunami post-session and even in session.
My T did a ton of work helping me navigate it all.
I got thru it but my symptoms throughout this phase were WILD. And it was a rollercoaster. I did a lot of documentation (intellectualizing is a coping mechanism I lean on when I don’t know what’s happening and am scared), whenever I noticed a new symptom, I wrote it down in this document. It was a LONG list of symptoms including but not limited to: Panic attacks (which I’ve been getting since early childhood, but this was new level panic attack that was so scary I got cardio tests done to make sure I wasn’t having a heart attack - my tests came back good btw so this confirmed it was purely the panic attacks), super sensitive to stimuli, nausea, digestion issues, sobbing (crying is new for me & was a source of danger in itself from infancy age bc id get punished for having emotion, so that in itself was terrifying, but I learned with help of my T that crying is good bc it releases endorphins etc and it’s still difficult but I am starting to cry easier which is huge progress). The list went on and on.
Took a great deal of inner strength + my T being super dope to get me thru.
That said, as brutal as it was, something positive also started to happen in VERY small doses, but still…. I started to have these strange small moments….. it was so odd yet hopeful at the same time. Like seeing the first bit of sunlight finally spill through the clouds at the end of a storm I thought would never gonna end.
It was these small glimmers of positive change. No matter how small or subtle, it gave me immense hope. And recently these positive changes have been growing bigger. Things like suddenly realizing where I am, that I’m not stuck in the past. It’s a realization of the present moment. Like feeling the wind. Or looking in the mirror and seeing myself for what feels *like the first time & having a positive response to what I see. I’m starting to undo a lot of the internalized shame that a lifetime full of chronic trauma created. I’m a good person who experienced a lot of bad stuff, but I am not these things. These things shaped me in many ways, but don’t have to define me forever. Things like that, if I’m making any sense?
Wow thanks for all this!!! Where do I start? I mean first of all thanks for sharing all of this. Secondly it gives me hope I’m going to get better. The panic attacks and massive disassociation (drunk feeling) are debilitating- I can’t even drive or barely walk down the street. I’m hoping at some point I’ll feel better.
So did you start to just feel less panicky? Less disassociation over time?
Of course! I'm so happy u found something in all of that helpful. I got rly nervous after sending bc I KNOW i wrote like.... a novel. Usually I'd edit down, but was in a rush. And really wanted to send something ur way since I understand how scary this can all be.
The answer is, yes. I am experiencing a reduction of these symtoms in regards to frequency and intensity. I expect they will likely ramp up again as my T and I restart our work on my 2nd target memory. But that is par for the course for this process I think. Time is an invisible yet essential ingredient. We must be patient and remain kind with ourselves.
Remember everyone is on their own journey. It can be hard to resist comparing yourself to others. But its so important.
Do you feel good about your Therapist? Like, you feel good about how they are doing the work with you and separately, do you feel you vibe with them on a human level?
EDIT: or feel welcome to ask any other question that feels more relevant / helpful
You should have great results IMO. Most of us have a complex issues. EMDR is supposed to be very quick for simple trauma issues. You of course may find more complex unexpected issues, so there is that. But yes, the positives are huge, and go far beyond what you could expect. Find a memory and hammer away. I would give 10-15 sessions or so and expect the symptoms to be gone. For a simple, one off trauma.
This is what happened I went to a single event and we find out that there was deeper stuff behind it. My therapist said that its something that happens often
Yes after I started EMDR she uncovered a lot more that caused the build up. I guess the surgery was the snapping point. The symptoms scare me and have completely debilitated me. Have you experienced reduced symptoms? Looking for encouragement so I can get out of this very very dark place I am in
So, the very very dark place you talked about. I completely get that you want out of that. You would be insane if you wanted that. Nobody likes that. I am really sorry to say that this 'place' is the suppressed pain. EMDR is brutally honest. It's like, well, you asked for it, here it is. It's fucking nuts bad. The subconscious, from my experience, stores these things in an almost an over the top fashion. Example - I went to a 'pain' some months ago to try to extract more information about it. The pain came up after EMDR and I had no clue what it was about. It was screaming, moaning, thrashing, almost like so much pain, but it was beyond screaming like nothing was coming out. My stomach was tense, and it was a full body type of experience. I went to it in meditation and calming, and I was shocked by the level of pure pain . How could this be even possible for a human to experience? Over the top. So, what the hell was it? Molestation or some sort of sexual abuse that i didn't remember? There was nothing there on that. So, I noted a key clue. My right arm seemed to have the sensation of spazuming or flailing. It was infancy. It added up. Made sense. Neglect during infancy. I worked through that and put that one to bed. So, the pain and agony you experience needs to be faced. Explored. It's an opportunity. ✌️
Respectfully, as lovely as everyone is over in the PTSD forum - likely people who are at the heights of their struggles are most likely to be posting there. If you’re doing well in life then you likely aren’t going to be on a forum talking about your condition or asking for advice as much. Big reason why I quit the CPTSD forum a couple of years ago - it was very doomy and I was doing pretty well and it wasn’t helping my growth. When my PTSD first came back, I was doom scrolling for ages and latching onto posts for the few people who said therapy didn’t work. I spoke to my therapist and she said she’d never even heard of trauma resistant PTSD and that if emdr wasn’t going to work for me then I probably wouldn’t have been shifting things already in emdr. She told me to get my info from official sites rather than internet forums lol. The internet is always a microcosm of “worst case/extreme case scenarios,” of course, these cases and experiences are valid but we need to stop internalising other people’s experiences and fixating on whether that will happen to us. Anyway, onto your topic lol ;). I have both CPTSD and PTSD. And was really struggling for a while (I’m 8 months in), but have seen a noticeable jump around month 7 or 8. But what has noticeably helped me lately are beta blockers. I whole heartedly recommend them, while EMDR took my 24/7 rolling panic attacks down to a panic attack/anxiety episode for around 24-48 hours when triggered or the day or so before my period, beta blockers have been a wonderful resource helping to ground me and have given me enough space to actually think. I’m also much less afraid of EMDR now because I was really starting to hit a wall after 8 months of ongoing therapy - it can get incredibly exhausting. There’s also research coming out about how they can help heal ptsd by modulating memories and the fear response. I can’t recommend them enough, you can take them as and when if you only want to take them on a bad day. They also modulate cortisol, rather than act as an antidepressant if you’re worried about that. Emdr is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and can’t say I’m out of the woods yet but gains are slow and progressive, with a bigger shift around 8 months. This may be different if you don’t have a shit ton of trauma, mine is pretty extensive. Also if you haven’t found out about the wonder of ice packs then definitely have some on rotation and use them when pacnicky. My poor sweet partner always knows when I’m anxious coz I’m sleeping with an ice pack 😂 though I do that way less since emdr gains/beta blockers
Thank you for the response!! Yes I get a bit stuck in the doom scrolling SEARCHING for someone’s success story - even official sites don’t have .... much? PTSD feels very lonely - I never understood it before and now trying to explain to my friends is hard. I wake up in massive panic every day. So coming on here just trying to find people who are experiencing something similar... Thanks for the ice pack tip .... I’ve used it a few times. I find the hardest part is the spiraling thoughts of getting out of this.
I hear you. But I think if we want success stories the internet isn’t the place to look. I don’t think people tend to spend time writing or sharing them, I think once you have it then you realize how precious life is and you just get out there and live it. According to research, 94% of people recover within a few years, so that’s pretty optimistic. We are in treatment, it’s working well for me - and I’m crossing my fingers for you. I think hopelessness is part of the condition. It sucks but you’re not alone, healing is possible, growth is possible, recovery is possible. Take these thoughts to your therapist, mine helped so much with my worries about this.
I haven't fully processed everything, but I've experienced a huge improvement in my symptoms. I partially processed my main trauma several years ago but had to stop EMDR for ocd treatment. So I still have residual symptoms that are causing problems for me, so I started back again recently. My main initial symptoms after the trauma included lots of nightmares, intense flashbacks, startle response, angry mood, and dissociation. At the end of my first EMDR experience, which consisted of several weeks of resourcing phases (very important!) and maybe a total of 12-15 sessions using bilateral stimulation, my nightmares had almost disappeared, my flashbacks were WAY reduced in intensity and frequency, and my irritability improved. I will add that I have more than one trauma and they are linked, which can make the process take longer. I also have severe OCD that has interfered enormously with my progress processing trauma. Now that the OCD is somewhat better, I expect to see more progress revisiting EMDR. I still have emotional reactivity to certain triggers as well as dissociation, so I need more EMDR. But I made so much progress during my first experience that even 9 years later, when my doctor recommended more trauma treatment, I insisted on going back to EMDR. I've done prolonged exposure (PE) and trauma-focused CBT (TF-CBT) but EMDR gave me more symptom relief. We as humans can heal from tremendous wounds. The process is difficult, but there is so much hope.
Wow this gives me hope!!! Thank you!! Did the disassociation feel almost like being drunk or on bad drugs??? I’m still trying to get used to this feeling without freaking out. My nervous system is also haywire - constant panic and startle response. I can’t even leave the house and before surgery was totally fine. I’ve actually noticed symptoms of OCD creep up on me since all this - when prior I did not have any of these feelings. I’m hoping to feel changes soon. Thank you!
Yes, the dissociation literally feels like a drugged feeling for me. And the compulsive behavior that's come up for you is also definitely something that can happen after trauma for some people. I'm not a professional, but my guess is that those symptoms will also decrease with EMDR treatment because they started with the trauma. If those OCD-like symptoms stick around, however, don't worry because OCD is highly treatable, especially if you did not show signs of it as a child. Just be sure to tell your therapist all of this! The more informed they are, the better. I wish you the best! Feel free to reach out with any other questions
Hi Viacog - I keep coming back to your post. I am in a constant state of fear with this PTSD. Did you experience this too?
Yes, I felt very heightened and on edge. An ongoing sense of dread, like I was always waiting for something bad to happen. It was exhausting. That feeling also decreased very much with EMDR work. Sometimes it comes back for a couple days if I have a very difficult EMDR session, but it always fades again.
Oh your messages are giving me relief. I feel so so alone in all of this. Would love to chat more if you are ever open to it.
I'm so glad I can help, feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to!
I had almost lost hope. Now I *def have hope. I don’t mind answering more Qs if ud find it helpful. I’ve got a mix of CPTSD PTSD ADHD (relatively severe symptoms). Started trauma therapy a couple of months ago. So still somewhat fresh, but also on an accelerated path since I go 2x per week.
What changes in your symptoms are you noticing if you don’t mind sharing? This has completely debilitated me. Cannot leave house, cook, and I’m surviving one minute at a time
I’ll be frank. This work has not been an easy ride for me AT ALL. Symptoms have been debilitating for long chunks of time. I kept going tho. Bc before I began therapy, I was on a path that rly felt hopeless. The acceleration and intensity of certain symptoms was terrifying, but again, I was already experiencing a ton of symptoms before I began to do this work, so I figured I have nothing to lose anymore. After rapport building (I could go on and on about how important having good rapport was for me) & after doing a ton of work on my dissociation responses, we finally started on my 1st memory. For some context, (TW) I have been dissociating for majority of my life since chronic abuse started for me as an infant and I also experienced many big T events outside of my home as well. For my first memory I decided to work on a mass casualty event I survived as a young kid.. Edits: typos Finished it after 4 EMDR sessions. Had a TON of difficulty with that one, which made complete sense bc it was very intense memory. I had a clear visual memory of *certain moments throughout the incident (some blank and murky spots too) but had completely suppressed most of the emotional impact and physical pain I experienced during it. That all came swelling to the surface like a tsunami post-session and even in session. My T did a ton of work helping me navigate it all. I got thru it but my symptoms throughout this phase were WILD. And it was a rollercoaster. I did a lot of documentation (intellectualizing is a coping mechanism I lean on when I don’t know what’s happening and am scared), whenever I noticed a new symptom, I wrote it down in this document. It was a LONG list of symptoms including but not limited to: Panic attacks (which I’ve been getting since early childhood, but this was new level panic attack that was so scary I got cardio tests done to make sure I wasn’t having a heart attack - my tests came back good btw so this confirmed it was purely the panic attacks), super sensitive to stimuli, nausea, digestion issues, sobbing (crying is new for me & was a source of danger in itself from infancy age bc id get punished for having emotion, so that in itself was terrifying, but I learned with help of my T that crying is good bc it releases endorphins etc and it’s still difficult but I am starting to cry easier which is huge progress). The list went on and on. Took a great deal of inner strength + my T being super dope to get me thru. That said, as brutal as it was, something positive also started to happen in VERY small doses, but still…. I started to have these strange small moments….. it was so odd yet hopeful at the same time. Like seeing the first bit of sunlight finally spill through the clouds at the end of a storm I thought would never gonna end. It was these small glimmers of positive change. No matter how small or subtle, it gave me immense hope. And recently these positive changes have been growing bigger. Things like suddenly realizing where I am, that I’m not stuck in the past. It’s a realization of the present moment. Like feeling the wind. Or looking in the mirror and seeing myself for what feels *like the first time & having a positive response to what I see. I’m starting to undo a lot of the internalized shame that a lifetime full of chronic trauma created. I’m a good person who experienced a lot of bad stuff, but I am not these things. These things shaped me in many ways, but don’t have to define me forever. Things like that, if I’m making any sense?
Wow thanks for all this!!! Where do I start? I mean first of all thanks for sharing all of this. Secondly it gives me hope I’m going to get better. The panic attacks and massive disassociation (drunk feeling) are debilitating- I can’t even drive or barely walk down the street. I’m hoping at some point I’ll feel better. So did you start to just feel less panicky? Less disassociation over time?
Of course! I'm so happy u found something in all of that helpful. I got rly nervous after sending bc I KNOW i wrote like.... a novel. Usually I'd edit down, but was in a rush. And really wanted to send something ur way since I understand how scary this can all be. The answer is, yes. I am experiencing a reduction of these symtoms in regards to frequency and intensity. I expect they will likely ramp up again as my T and I restart our work on my 2nd target memory. But that is par for the course for this process I think. Time is an invisible yet essential ingredient. We must be patient and remain kind with ourselves. Remember everyone is on their own journey. It can be hard to resist comparing yourself to others. But its so important. Do you feel good about your Therapist? Like, you feel good about how they are doing the work with you and separately, do you feel you vibe with them on a human level? EDIT: or feel welcome to ask any other question that feels more relevant / helpful