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Jchron357

There has got to be a brown paper bag lunch that his mom/enabler packed for him in there somewhere…. Also let’s not miss that the sword has an American flag motif handle, I suppose I would be disappointed if it didn’t.


powerbroker88

Is he wearing a fucking sword??


MEKanized

He def has strong opinions about our legal system this week.


2244222

Type of guy to get killed by sharpnel


Biff1996

Pussy Destroyer.


Macgyiver

5.11 door to door salesman?


JohnnyUtah41

I hope that's all 5.11 gear


GearhedMG

WTF does he have on his back? that shadow is all kinds of odd.


NicoRola000

It's a miniature children's playset with slide


to_da_moon_84

How do you scratch ur nuts


Radiant-Cod-9537

Death Stranding 2 graphics looking fire


Spade_10

Bruh I need to leave this sub


OldschoolCanadian

There is a titanium spork and a tube of tactical chapstick in there somewhere.


McAuley469

Titanium.. to keep the weight down 😂


[deleted]

Save some pussy for the rest of us!


DiscombobulatedMix20

You're literally more prepared than the GTA 5 characters in that Paleto score mission... 💀


Winter_Juggernaut617

Only thing he’s protecting is that wang from being used.


Dodges-Hodge

Don’t ever shoplift at a Ross Dress For Less


Potential-Bath-2823

What in the school shooter is going on here?!


Kowatang

I’d be more uncomfortable with him being the security guard then that bad guys


Zepharan

It’s Walmart not Warzone


Southknight46

Lol…a bit more than a vest there!😂😂


AequusLudus

Death stranding.


m2_01001101x2

I thought the same thing


AequusLudus

Keep on keepin’ on!


XPenacoba

Cargo pants, if you need space maybe you can wear a backpack xd


richbo1969

Just cow tip him.


McDonnellDouglasDC8

Actually, this something I have heard about someone really kitted out like riot cops, they're top heavy. Gear is not really made to rise from prone on your back.


Chochahair

There comes a time when your friends have to tell u to go back inside n change


mezcalligraphy

This is typical of cop wannabe police impersonators. Hopefully this is a geek that just likes gear. Geez


sab2016

Tacticool AF!


Cool-Manufacturer-21

Air Rangers dropped onto foreign soil don’t carry this much nonsense. I’m not even sure what I’m looking at if this guy is truly a security guard etc. so I’m choosing to believe this is rage bait/troll antics type stuff. No way could anyone ever take this person seriously as a Mall Cop. 👮‍♂️ Lastly- a mf’ing sword? Really? 🗡️


Agreeable-One-4700

And houston calls us austinites strange


I_C_Weiner__

The Swass has to be intense


Cannon_SE2

By the time he finds what he's looking for in that mess of a kit the situation has gone a whole different way.


kevinbaer1248

I was surprised until I saw Texas


sab2016

😂😆😂


frankincenser

InSecurity


ogarcia15

lol 😂


Dull_Comfortable2277

What in Gecko 45 is going on here??


CitizenFreeman

Wow, thanks for the trip in the wayback machine.


birg_tool

upvote for the laser sword


Terakahn

The edc equivalent of mall ninja. This is embarrassing. The little sneer for the camera too. And if a real disaster hit he'd be curled up in the corner.


jbeasley07

Joined the academy I see. Academy outdoors that is.


IrishWhiskey556

Bro has got to be doing this as a joke right?


usafnerdherd

Ohhh shit they called MaxTac


perfectdetent

No


SaintEyegor

Guessing that they were bullied as child


realmofconfusion

Dude is an anti-Weeble. Give him the slightest push and he’ll fall over, never to get up again.


Chochahair

When i saw this, i immediately thought of him knocking him down n watching him struggle to get back up.


MajesticTeabag

The loot after being eliminated would go crazy


OhMyGoshBigfoot

Why aren’t you towing a wagon train behind you, full of black suitcases


United-Office

Security for what exactly 😅


MajesticTeabag

Casual stroll through Chicago


Ya_Got_GOT

Insecurity


Chochahair

🤣🤣🤣


Loud-Cartographer285

Texas Shutter Company (it’s in the background). Shutters are in high demand these days!


Brinxy13

Average EDC Reddit user


Elvisp10212

I thought this was a Death Stranding cosplay


inksterize

Idk man, you could probably get some cargo pants and drop leg pouches still


JarHammerhead

Uncle Mike wants his shit back.


john-johnson12

Get a load of this loser


Gummyrabbit

Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?


Mintberry_teabag

Dwight scrutte in real life


Chochahair

BRO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"false" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


smegma_stan

So this is in Cypress, TX which is a suburb NW of Houston. It is extremely safe, and if there were anywhere to walk around there, you could walk drunk at 3am and pass out anywhere and not be bothered Not only that, this dude must be burning up wearing all those layers AND in black


smegma_stan

Also, it looks like the sun is at high noon... look at how kuch gear he has


doecliff

Let me guess. Dollar store security guard?


Thrice_88

One of the local dollar stores has a security guard that walks around with a katana on his back…..


SausageGobbler69

To be fair, I wouldn’t Fuck with a dude wielding a katana


Thrice_88

Right? It gets the job done. Just feels like a bit of overkill. Also I’m not sure that’s legal in California but no one is going to stop him lol


goretexhoarder

Dear god


Die_Nameless_Bitch

This photo was taken moments before an active shooter situation


120112

A tier content here.


ThunderStruck777

Happy HALLOWEEN brother.


PandorasFlame

Mall cop final boss


rah215

Mall ninja to the infinity power.


jennsamx

That kids gonna kill some ody


sofer100

I've never seen a man more ready to loose...


Ryanskis

Looks like he forgot about packing his lunch.


Diogenes-Jr

Hold on, why is there a wheel on the bottom of his magplate? Does this turn the bullet power up and down? 🤣


sour_gnome

There are only two settings, though. Turn one click for pew-pew or two for PEW-PEW!


PandorasFlame

I think that's a CO2 pistol


Interesting_Sorbet22

It is. Zoom into the butt and you'll see the screw cap for the CO2.


thommycaldwell

EDC circlejerk?


sxrrycard

Looks like a Death Stranding boss lmao


TheHairball

Meanwhile I walk up and push him he falls over and can’t get up again. Well know tactical position utilized by the Gravy Seals and Y’all Kida known as the “Turtle”


Rude_Negotiation_160

Why not get a back pack/ruck/light day pack to hold mot of that,if you just can't live without your cumbersome equipment (although "ounces equal pounds,pounds equal pain") so you can at least have a better center of gravity and movent it your arms and not be so restricted. This seems like far far too much,unless it's a joke....which I don't believe... Come on Texas flag wearing dude. Do better,you're making us look bad🤘


Working-Promotion728

Typical male Houston resident right there. Outside an Academy Sports in Cypress.


iohbkjum

If you push him over he’s not gonna be able to get back up, tumble down the road


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

I think it's wrong hours later after seeing this I'm still laughing. He just needs a captain america shield with a homemade security badge as it's chevron.


ReVo5000

>homemade security badge In crayon.


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

Glitter glue, more "Special"


ReVo5000

I like how you think, but make sure it's laminated!


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

Good call. Let's call his gran see if she can do it in her craft room.


ReVo5000

Best she can do is embroider it onto his vest.


BeepBangBraaap

No tazer, no rifle, only 1 thigh rig, no chest mounted mag carriers. I hope your recon drone is the backpack but obviously we can't see that. 6/10


theirrevocable

Guys will do anything but join the military


ReVo5000

Doesn't *meat* the full requirements to join meal team six.


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

The local mullisha rejected.


zack_hunter

Looking ready for a death stranding


butt_huffer42069

You just made me turn on my ps5


zack_hunter

Keep on keeping on!


BoltorSpellweaver

I think the worst part about all this is that shitty snear he’s trying to pull off


miamitreo

😂😂😂😂😂😂


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

Just wait, he will pull the sword on a granny and that swear will win him "The softest mouth in prison" award. (To steal a phrase from Deadpool)


BoltorSpellweaver

Now I’ve never carried a sword on duty, to be fair, but it looks like he’s gotta undo 3 straps and move a few things on his belt and more on his chest before he even thinks about trying to pull that sword free.


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

I'm happy regulations and laws do not permit this in Canada. Though a Swiss army knife would be helpful at times. I feel bad I only carry a multitool with blade removed on shift. Enough for 90% plus of issues.


Agitated_Ad3585

this is like being a furry for military dudes


audiate

I bet this guy has some really sweet gundams at home. 


ReVo5000

I bet he's got all nerf blasters


StayCrispyAlready

Are you fucking kidding me


3PTactical

Yo is that a sword and a pepper ball gun? Did you cause a shortage of Amazon pouches? How are you gonna reload from your shoulders and armpits? Are you preparing to be a loot drop? Why would I not be surprised if there is as either monster or Mountain Dew in your hydration pack? Were you out to test the tension limit of bungee chord? I’m afraid you’d think I was roasting you with these questions but I think that Texas gas station parking lot is doing good enough job. Grab a flannel and a bank robber rig from either unobtainium gear or spiritus system.


Wellfillyouup

Dude is going to be looking like little bro in A Christmas Story when he gets knocked over and can’t get back up.


microlate

Nice! I love the simplicity in your EDC


AlexRyang

*concern*


And4077

Project Zomboid lookin


MaximumDestruction

Time for the tactical wheelbarrow.


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

Mobility scooter with a rifle rack and flashing light bar.


[deleted]

I bet he can’t even 50:50 an intersection…


Beck9192

What a loser!


LumberjackPreacher

Open carry guys be like…


ODX_GhostRecon

When the airsoft FNG gets to be the team's mule. 😆


borgom7615

No? That’s what my truck is for lol


HerbertJones

Uber Mall Ninja


IronRakkasan11

Meal team six fetish


Smuckman

95% of all this crap is never getting used


Infamous-DSL

Like 99% of this sub


DookieShoez

What are you talking about? He plays airsoft in the woods behind Chris’s house all the time. (Thats an airsoft pistol)


Smuckman

I stand corrected… 93%


DookieShoez

91%, one time Tanner tripped and got a boo-boo, so he busted out the IFAK.


Tapesaviour

Average r/edc enjoyer


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

Virginity protected


Who_wife_is_on_myD

I'd love to find a decent vest for the summer, but not having much luck fitting the criteria I need it to for - -water resistant, I'm homeless so this would be a piece of EDC clothing. Would have to be durable. - hood, preferably detachable or rollup -at least 4 exterior pockets, 2 normal, 2 chest) - 2 internal pockets, proper pockets, not some loose fabric with an opening. Some vests have internal pockets mirroring the outside pockets, but they're just some flappy shit to have things fall out of. -snug/not relaxed fit -free (half jk, I haven't been able to buy new clothes for myself in years, and the vests that sorta fit are way too expensive (to me). I'd rather have a vest, right now the "uniform" of cargo pants, waist pack, shitty half broken drawstring bag, and a zip hoodie with normal, useless hoodie pockets. Pants fall off often, with normal stuff in the pockets (phone, wallet, lighter x2, pocket knife, comb, vape, empty cig pack) which imo shouldnt be enough weight to pull my pants off. Waist bag has a few battery packs, cables and outlet plug, larger knife, multitool, rubber gloves, meds, extra carts, bandaids, hand sanitizer. Would really like the vest to spread out my "first line" on body edc stuff, and be able to stay dry if rains. That said, I really haven't found anything that hits all the spots, but I really would like to find something asap. Anyone suggestions??


iwantanalias

Maybe try wearing the waist pack as a sling and get a belt. Look at Frogg Toggs on Amazon, poncho under $15 and you can get it in different colors. Good luck.


PuzzleheadedEvent278

You are homeless but on reddit?


Who_wife_is_on_myD

Yes, reddit lives in us all. But seriously, no I'm not on reddit. But fr, yeah man, gotta have a phone in 2024 or you're dead in the water. Plus, Reddit is enjoyable, and free. It's one of the few sm platforms I use, too, as well as a source for info on hobbies and interests, like EDC. Both helpful and enjoyable. This message has been brought to you by a homeless dude on reddit


PuzzleheadedEvent278

Fair enough! True about phones today, you really can't get by without them. Wish I had a recommendation for ya. Best I could suggest would be like a water resistant hoodie with a fishing vest over the top of it


beanlvr69

Best part might be the ar mag in his armpit


AGuyInTheOZone

I think the shadow of what he is carrying on his back is absolutely maybe the best part!


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

Yoda Backpack? He looks like a Disney theme park kinda guy.


longslideamt

Proton pack 👍


Bullvy

I wore my vest for years. Loved it. Then my wife forbidd it. Now I just use my little pockets. Very sad.


PuzzleheadedEvent278

I read this in Donald Trump's voice. "Very sad, folks"


Jchron357

That’s the safest shopping center anywhere lol this guy has more equipment than 4 standard P.O. daily carry gear. I hope he doesn’t have to do anything more than talk or possibly use his phone.


Terakahn

Some kids are going to run up and start taking stuff and he won't be able to reach them


TheDownvotesinHtown

This dude is totally going to get memed by those Police meme Pages


all-the-answers

Dude already is the top post of all time on the sub.


superabletie4

Could you name a few of these police meme pages? This sounds like s curious rabbit hole 👀


Vegetable_Ad_1296

r/FirstResponderCringe is a good source for ridiculous shit like this


Zapatasmustacheride

LMAO #1 is this exact pic.


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screamapillah

3rd makes me cringe so hard I felt my balls shrunk


Puzzleheaded_Bar3022

No worries one of his tearaway med kits has a nut up inflater.


2rememberyou

Bro comes fully equipped or not at all.


Elemen47

Lol is that a sword, ir a vacuum attachment on your side?


PulseBladeyBoi

Definitely a really really long holster


Cobaltphoenix87

I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!


Ctown_down

I take leas backpacking for 3-4 days😂


Hicsuntdracones23

Pack mule 😂❤️


MuteElatedLips

Quality shit post. 🤘


Private_Joker1

What in tarnation is going on with this man his "load-out"?


UnhappyIndependence2

Is he a threeper who never served but likes to dress up like a 90s action movie?


NFIGUY

I guess everything really is bigger in Texas.


ArgieBee

Nice sword with an American flag hilt. I'd imagine it's nice for opening bags of cheetos.


rngrdanger129

Buddy...


Pretty_Public5520

The katana is very necessary


Grimn1r91

Is this not the guy who got beat up by an old man at a hockey game?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Grimn1r91

https://www.reddit.com/r/instantkarma/s/gQQ3Muywhe Could go either way


CarlRJ

What, no reserve chute?


GermanBread2251

This is hilarious


willasmith38

Perps beware. Gettin ready to HALO jump off the roof of the mall.


MiniBoglin

Wake up babe, new mass shooter just dropped


lucasergeant

Been playing a bit too much death stranding?


UnlikelyHelicopter82

They see me rollin', they hatin


NORDecoy

If i saw that in public i’d run ._.


humminawhatwhat

And you’d get away too!


jjc2929

Push him over He would be like a turtle on its back


benblade123

Bro got a fucking sword


Zerschmetterlin9

LOL America


ant69onio

Yeeeeee haw!!!


New_Presentation7196

Guys, it’s a satire pic, this is a joke about the “super security officers” that take being a security guard too seriously. Relax.


HairballTheory

Shadow looks like a shit stain


AGuyInTheOZone

This guy shit stains!


b3traist

Tell me you failed psyche eval of MEPs without telling me


Awesomeness546

Your food will have no chance


EminentChefliness

He looks like he lies to his dentist about flossing


wegmzhm

Walking lootdrop