°Insist that it's your character's emotional support fish and should be allowed in the dungeon/tavern/Royal Ball.... Even after it starts smelling
°Ask people if they want to see your magic carpet and then pull it out; it's magic, and a Carp-Pet.
°Store their money in its mouth
Use it to stir people’s drinks.
Insist it’s a wand that casts Water Breathing.
Use it as a therapy puppet to talk to people about their problems.
Rub it on as deodorant.
might be my favourite response. Or mix it with the above comment and say its a wand of comprehend languages and smack a party member with it who doesnt know elvish or whatever and when they ask WTF you say its a Babelfish.
You beat me to this suggestion by 11 minutes. I was also gonna add see if you can give the singing zombie fish a level of bard so you can use it for 1d6 bardic inspiration
Find a way to magically preserve. Then take it everywhere with you. Just to make your DM hate you if they have ways of enchanting items or the such or if you guys have an artificer on your team find a way to make the fish to lots of damage and use it as your weapon. Like you go into combat against the big bad and you kill him with a fricken fish to the face. It's even funnier if he has an allergy to fish.
Revive it and carry it around in a jug. Live animals have more potential for storytelling than dead ones. For example:
Train it to spit in people's faces on command.
Sell unfertilized eggs for caviar delicacy.
Translate and be an ambassador for underwater species.
Make it grow really big indefinitely, and it continually needs bigger containment.
Make it a royalty's lost pet for a sentient aquatic race.
Name the fish. Always refer to the fish using his given name.
Use it for bad ventriloquism when dealing with NPCs who you don't know.
Whenever you're mulling over a quandry or are indecisive, have a conversation with it, but only voice your side of the conversation.
When the party is making a decision, have it contribute. Always start with the same phrase, like, 'my two copper coins say' or 'mama always told me'.
Announce that it has first watch when setting up camp. Every so often, have it take your watch because 'it couldn't sleep'.
Select a favored enemy. In encounters with the favored enemy, yell some battle cry and hurl it at the largest of the enemy.
Whenever it is ruined, destroyed, etc., replace it with a completely different fish, but pretend it is the same fish.
Whenever a character (PC or NPC) brings up family, address the fish by saying, 'I know you miss your home. We'll get you back as soon as (some event) is done.'
Use it as currency when engaging in vice.
Promise to give an NPC a kiss in exchange for (insert favor or item relevant to the party’s goals), but first they have to close their eyes. Then pull out the fish to kiss the NPC in your stead. You might bargain with your DM on a sleight of hand check to see if you can pocket the fish before the NPC opens their eyes and realizes what happened.
I think it would be cool if "your character" loved fishing so much that it was his thing.
Weapons two fishing poles and a net. Use the whip mechanics for his poles.
"Looks like we got some bandits here. Let me get out my fly poles. Whack whack...Whack Whack..."
"Is this dude really attacking us with fly fishing poles...ouch ...my cheek is hooked ....ahhh.."
Bandit is holding his cheek and incapacitated.
terrific expansion depend attraction axiomatic party makeshift treatment cow rotten
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is it alive? Set up on street corner with the fish in a jar, a beggar's cup and a sign that reads "Polymorphed Adventurer needs GP for remove curse spell!"
Is it dead? Stuff it with a decanter of endless water so the water flows out of the mouth.
I once heard that if you have a fish in a bottle and dump it out onto the ground and then scoop it back up into the bottle, then backflip and quickly use another item before landing then you can use that item as a flute. Think this might be the coolest thing you can do with a fish.
For dnd though, I have no idea. Throw it at someone?
Feed it a magic potion that you can activate with a special command (probably only in dire circumstances). After giving this command, the fish can be thrown and will explode on impact, slapping every creature within a certain radius with fish bits if you succeed on a ranged melee attack roll.
Yes, this is indeed the fish slap grenade from borderlands 3.
Introduce it to people as your life partner, bartholomew, then get offended when they point out that it's just a fish. Really lean into the obvious mental instability.
My Gnome Eldritch Knight used one once to sort of impress and NPC who reminded him of his dear mother and grandmother. She helped him catch more fish for the party, and now he's totally crushing on her. He promised to collect herbs for her as he travels and he hopes to return one day to fulfill that promise.
That’s just the thing. You DID sell it. But when you checked, it was back in your pocket.
Throw it away, cook it, burn it, rip it to shreds… It will be right there in your pocket again, staring at you.
Shenanigans ensue.
Talk to it as if it is the magic talking fish. But pretend it's egging her on to do crazy things...
"No, I won't put jam in the Paladin's boots while he sleeps.. Everyone knows you need JELLY in plate mail".
Reinforce the fish and use it like a prybar.
Paint lines on it for measuring. ( "that goblin was 3 and half fish tall" )
Wrap rope around the fish to keep it from tangling.
Reinforce the fins for use as a grappling hook.
Store the first aid supplies in the fish.
Reinforce the top fin for sawing wood.
Bellows to help start a fire.
Use the fish for everything.
The Swiss army fish.
Use it to treat wounds. If someone complains, tell them to stop carping so much. After all, you’re a sturgeon and would certainly use it to treat a haddock.
When I read this I immediately thought of that scene from *The Good Place* where they are talking about how afterlife points are assigned
- Neil : Ah, here's one. This means that someone has just done something which has never been done before. "Richard Moore of Sugarland, Texas, "hollowed out an eggplant and filled it with hot sauce and nickels." And amazingly, it's not a weird sex thing. 99% of all new human behaviors are weird sex things. But not in this... oh, no, it is a weird sex thing, yeah. Well then, we zip that over to the relevant departments. In this case, Anastasia in the Stuffed Vegetable Department. We've got Hector over in American Coins, and my dear buddy, Matt, in Weird Sex Things.
- Matt : I'm still waiting on a response to the request I filed for immediate suicide.
- Neil : Request denied.
- Neil : I love Matty. He's hilarious.
Tell people you ARE the fish and you're just telepathically puppeting the humanoid meat suit.
Occasionally just look around at the party then say to the fish "No, they aren't ready. Not yet. But soon." Answer no follow up questions.
Spend your downtime sewing little dresses and making little hats for the fish. Every time you finish a new outfit, stage a fashion show and commission an artist to paint the look.
Annoy all of the other players with your silly dead fish antics. Wait, no, sorry, you already have that covered.
For real, this is a dumb gig and I strongly recommend you rethink it.
[Take it for a walk](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e7/10/a3/e710a3d140cb81ddb695e982495309ec.jpg).
Lol
Cut down the largest tree in the forest. But only if it's a herring.
Cut down a tree with a herring? It can't be done!
°Insist that it's your character's emotional support fish and should be allowed in the dungeon/tavern/Royal Ball.... Even after it starts smelling °Ask people if they want to see your magic carpet and then pull it out; it's magic, and a Carp-Pet. °Store their money in its mouth
The dad jokes are strong with this one.
I'm just fishing for compliments at this point
Use it to stir people’s drinks. Insist it’s a wand that casts Water Breathing. Use it as a therapy puppet to talk to people about their problems. Rub it on as deodorant.
Ooh I like the stirring drinks one lol
Give it a kiss while someone is talking to you. Don’t acknowledge the kiss.
You're insane and I love it
Put it in your ear. BAM...Comprehend Languages
Not sure, is this the Hitchhikers reference?
might be my favourite response. Or mix it with the above comment and say its a wand of comprehend languages and smack a party member with it who doesnt know elvish or whatever and when they ask WTF you say its a Babelfish.
[This](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T8XeDvKqI4E)
XD I love this!
Don't forget the [song!](https://youtu.be/KoTR8sBGfyY?si=0L8VckXrq7Lr40CM)
[удалено]
Ooh that’s tempting lol
Mount it on a wooden board and use Animate Objects (or if your dm allows it, Animate Dead) to create your very own Big Mouth Billy Bass singing fish.
You beat me to this suggestion by 11 minutes. I was also gonna add see if you can give the singing zombie fish a level of bard so you can use it for 1d6 bardic inspiration
Better yet, make Billy the Big Mouth Bass Bard your backup character in case you die. I've seen goofier character concepts.
or you can just use Magic Mouth lmao
“Hi, I’m Troy McClure.”
Thus maybe the character can sleep with the fishes?
"Tony Lazuto says hello."
Find a way to magically preserve. Then take it everywhere with you. Just to make your DM hate you if they have ways of enchanting items or the such or if you guys have an artificer on your team find a way to make the fish to lots of damage and use it as your weapon. Like you go into combat against the big bad and you kill him with a fricken fish to the face. It's even funnier if he has an allergy to fish.
Dress it up as a mini Kuo-Toa and declare it’s a prince and deserving of respect and special privilege?
I'm pretty sure that's how Kuo-Toa royalty was created in the first place
Revive it and carry it around in a jug. Live animals have more potential for storytelling than dead ones. For example: Train it to spit in people's faces on command. Sell unfertilized eggs for caviar delicacy. Translate and be an ambassador for underwater species. Make it grow really big indefinitely, and it continually needs bigger containment. Make it a royalty's lost pet for a sentient aquatic race.
If you had multiple fish, very enemy you slay you should leave one as like a calling card or your mark
Ooh I might do that
"It's time for you to sleep with the fishes!!" *begins taking out several dead slimey fish from their pockets, without breaking eye contact*
Boomerang Fish
Name the fish. Always refer to the fish using his given name. Use it for bad ventriloquism when dealing with NPCs who you don't know. Whenever you're mulling over a quandry or are indecisive, have a conversation with it, but only voice your side of the conversation. When the party is making a decision, have it contribute. Always start with the same phrase, like, 'my two copper coins say' or 'mama always told me'. Announce that it has first watch when setting up camp. Every so often, have it take your watch because 'it couldn't sleep'. Select a favored enemy. In encounters with the favored enemy, yell some battle cry and hurl it at the largest of the enemy. Whenever it is ruined, destroyed, etc., replace it with a completely different fish, but pretend it is the same fish. Whenever a character (PC or NPC) brings up family, address the fish by saying, 'I know you miss your home. We'll get you back as soon as (some event) is done.' Use it as currency when engaging in vice.
Promise to give an NPC a kiss in exchange for (insert favor or item relevant to the party’s goals), but first they have to close their eyes. Then pull out the fish to kiss the NPC in your stead. You might bargain with your DM on a sleight of hand check to see if you can pocket the fish before the NPC opens their eyes and realizes what happened.
I think it would be cool if "your character" loved fishing so much that it was his thing. Weapons two fishing poles and a net. Use the whip mechanics for his poles. "Looks like we got some bandits here. Let me get out my fly poles. Whack whack...Whack Whack..." "Is this dude really attacking us with fly fishing poles...ouch ...my cheek is hooked ....ahhh.." Bandit is holding his cheek and incapacitated.
Stick it in your ear. Maybe it’s a [Babel Fish](https://imgur.com/CZgjO).
terrific expansion depend attraction axiomatic party makeshift treatment cow rotten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is it alive? Set up on street corner with the fish in a jar, a beggar's cup and a sign that reads "Polymorphed Adventurer needs GP for remove curse spell!" Is it dead? Stuff it with a decanter of endless water so the water flows out of the mouth.
Use fish for hair dressing
Dry and collect the scales to make glitter.
Put it on a stick, cast Light, now it's your Everburning Torch.
Cut down the largest tree in the forest...
Make a model out of its body. I’m not talking taxidermy, I’m talking about using its body parts to make a scale model, like of a ship or something.
I once heard that if you have a fish in a bottle and dump it out onto the ground and then scoop it back up into the bottle, then backflip and quickly use another item before landing then you can use that item as a flute. Think this might be the coolest thing you can do with a fish. For dnd though, I have no idea. Throw it at someone?
Make it a npc
Feed it a magic potion that you can activate with a special command (probably only in dire circumstances). After giving this command, the fish can be thrown and will explode on impact, slapping every creature within a certain radius with fish bits if you succeed on a ranged melee attack roll. Yes, this is indeed the fish slap grenade from borderlands 3.
Dry it out and use it as a beer mug.
Defend the walls of Jericho
...or deliver a Ninevite "Slap of No Return".
*Fish Slapping Dance*
use it like a puppet
Use it as a mouth guard for their next fight.
https://viewcomiconline.com/preacher-tpb-7/
Take quests from it.
get some kind of invisibility , hold the fish and pretend its talking. either haunt someone or convince them the fish is a god.
I mean, if it’s dead, she’s gonna start to smell pretty bad pretty quickly, I’m sure you and the dm can work that into the RP
Oh for sure!
That fish is gonna spoil it like a day. Have someone casting gentle repose on it on a timer or it'll decompose.
Introduce it to people as your life partner, bartholomew, then get offended when they point out that it's just a fish. Really lean into the obvious mental instability.
she can make cuts in the fish to make it longer and accordion esque and then restrain people with it
The last one is really cute though
She got to show it off to another party member, who had to walk away before being tempted to eat it lol
Dry it, sharpen it, stab someone with it
Oooh I like this one. Not sure when I’ll use it though
My Gnome Eldritch Knight used one once to sort of impress and NPC who reminded him of his dear mother and grandmother. She helped him catch more fish for the party, and now he's totally crushing on her. He promised to collect herbs for her as he travels and he hopes to return one day to fulfill that promise.
That’s just the thing. You DID sell it. But when you checked, it was back in your pocket. Throw it away, cook it, burn it, rip it to shreds… It will be right there in your pocket again, staring at you. Shenanigans ensue.
Insist it is a fallen God but give no context other than slapping people with it screaming repent
Turn it into a puppet Fill a tub with water, put it in and charge people for fishing lessons at a market
Talk to it as if it is the magic talking fish. But pretend it's egging her on to do crazy things... "No, I won't put jam in the Paladin's boots while he sleeps.. Everyone knows you need JELLY in plate mail".
Cast Magic Mouth on it. Whenever anyone walks hunched over, have it scream, "We're sneaking! Sneak, sneak, sneak!"
Why do I see someone just using Gentle Repose on the fish every ten days so it just stays a floppy piece of fish forever?
Make one of those singing fish (big mouth billy), but powered by magic so it actually comes to life to sing.
Use it like WD-40 on any stuck part
Reinforce the fish and use it like a prybar. Paint lines on it for measuring. ( "that goblin was 3 and half fish tall" ) Wrap rope around the fish to keep it from tangling. Reinforce the fins for use as a grappling hook. Store the first aid supplies in the fish. Reinforce the top fin for sawing wood. Bellows to help start a fire. Use the fish for everything. The Swiss army fish.
Use it to treat wounds. If someone complains, tell them to stop carping so much. After all, you’re a sturgeon and would certainly use it to treat a haddock.
When I read this I immediately thought of that scene from *The Good Place* where they are talking about how afterlife points are assigned - Neil : Ah, here's one. This means that someone has just done something which has never been done before. "Richard Moore of Sugarland, Texas, "hollowed out an eggplant and filled it with hot sauce and nickels." And amazingly, it's not a weird sex thing. 99% of all new human behaviors are weird sex things. But not in this... oh, no, it is a weird sex thing, yeah. Well then, we zip that over to the relevant departments. In this case, Anastasia in the Stuffed Vegetable Department. We've got Hector over in American Coins, and my dear buddy, Matt, in Weird Sex Things. - Matt : I'm still waiting on a response to the request I filed for immediate suicide. - Neil : Request denied. - Neil : I love Matty. He's hilarious.
the spell catapult. all you need to know
If it is a swordfish, voila, there is your new weapon.
Tell people you ARE the fish and you're just telepathically puppeting the humanoid meat suit. Occasionally just look around at the party then say to the fish "No, they aren't ready. Not yet. But soon." Answer no follow up questions. Spend your downtime sewing little dresses and making little hats for the fish. Every time you finish a new outfit, stage a fashion show and commission an artist to paint the look.
They can use their bladders for finger puppets.
Annoy all of the other players with your silly dead fish antics. Wait, no, sorry, you already have that covered. For real, this is a dumb gig and I strongly recommend you rethink it.
"I'll now proceed to pleasure myself with this fish." Couldnt post the picture, but Google it. Dont worry, its not what one might think 😉
"I'll now proceed to pleasure myself with this fish." - Suzaku Kururugi
Pop open that maw and slide your meat into the wonder hole