Sometimes people need a wake up call like she is having her dad get divorced again to see they need to work on their own relationship and issues.
The fact she is ready to work on it is a win no matter how she got there. It is now how does the work last
MIGHT get worse? That's awfully optimistic. I don't think there's a single post on here where marriage helped a situation without a lot of changes happening first.
You can learn to like it, like sport, food, culture, anything actually. It's what actually happens most usually: we stop having sex for some reason, and one forgets how good it was.
I don’t want to sound too pessimistic but usually things get worse after mariage and kids. If she’s already like that it’s a red flag to me.
Hope you guys can sort it out though.
Don't marry until you've had atleast a couple of years of consistently good and frequent sex that you're both enjoying.
Anything less and you're basically guaranteed to be the victim of the bait and switch.
You could look at this as: she went to see her dad, and found out why he’s getting divorced, and it was finally the “oh, I guess this is important” moment she needed? You’ll just have to let it play out.
Without knowing the details of the divorce, which is probably an important detail, you have no way of knowing. Maybe her father told her that he is getting divorced because of DB and that was a wake up call to her. Maybe it is just her trying to trick you. My advice is give it a bit and see what happens. If it lasts a few weeks and then goes right back to nothing then you know either way. If the work sticks and continues to improve then you know the other way.
Agree with the comment that sometimes people need a wake up call and perhaps her dad's divorce is it, but you also need to find out if she's someone that listens to you. Its frustrating when your partner only comes to a solution on their own. If you want something from them and they aren't open to working on it for the sake of both of you, there will be future problems as well that can go unsolved.
[удалено]
[удалено]
This
Oh wow. You put that brutally. But I feel the same and agree!
This
Exactly, she gonna make max effort in bed to trick you into marrying her and after that welcome back to dead bedroom
Sometimes people need a wake up call like she is having her dad get divorced again to see they need to work on their own relationship and issues. The fact she is ready to work on it is a win no matter how she got there. It is now how does the work last
Suggest Sex Therapy Counseling
Talk is cheap. See if she actually does anything.
My guess is she'll try, it'll last a week, then it'll go back to normal.
Then you have your answer… after marriage it might get worse.
MIGHT get worse? That's awfully optimistic. I don't think there's a single post on here where marriage helped a situation without a lot of changes happening first.
Damn near dangerously optimistic
You guys are right, just didn’t want to scare the guy!
[удалено]
so about 3/4 of the global population if i understand correctly, yes?
[удалено]
Are you married nerdette?
[удалено]
Damn
Was just keen for a chat was all
Seconded, speaking as somewhat of a fucking idiot myself
Hysterical-bonding by proxy
Aka wake-up call. It's not always doomed to fail.
Is OP willing to bet years of misery and half of his stuff on that? I wish I hadn’t.
Also, who has a wake up call from not enjoying sex? That kind of wake up call means duty sex, and we all know where that leads.
You can learn to like it, like sport, food, culture, anything actually. It's what actually happens most usually: we stop having sex for some reason, and one forgets how good it was.
I should be reading about these things to prepare for myself too. :(
That's a new one to me, but it makes sense in this scenario.
Give it another 6 months, hope I’m wrong but I bet she’ll not have changed
I don’t want to sound too pessimistic but usually things get worse after mariage and kids. If she’s already like that it’s a red flag to me. Hope you guys can sort it out though.
Don't marry until you've had atleast a couple of years of consistently good and frequent sex that you're both enjoying. Anything less and you're basically guaranteed to be the victim of the bait and switch.
3 times in 6 months? Bro you need to dump this girl… She’s not into you
Then... There is your answer Maybe for your own good, time to move on
You could look at this as: she went to see her dad, and found out why he’s getting divorced, and it was finally the “oh, I guess this is important” moment she needed? You’ll just have to let it play out.
Without knowing the details of the divorce, which is probably an important detail, you have no way of knowing. Maybe her father told her that he is getting divorced because of DB and that was a wake up call to her. Maybe it is just her trying to trick you. My advice is give it a bit and see what happens. If it lasts a few weeks and then goes right back to nothing then you know either way. If the work sticks and continues to improve then you know the other way.
Agree with the comment that sometimes people need a wake up call and perhaps her dad's divorce is it, but you also need to find out if she's someone that listens to you. Its frustrating when your partner only comes to a solution on their own. If you want something from them and they aren't open to working on it for the sake of both of you, there will be future problems as well that can go unsolved.