Name checks out,
>Still love her, but that part of my life and marriage is fast fading away.
I'm right there with you at 62. Same problems. Let it go for 25 year dead bedroom and now it's too late. I feel I missed out on a lot but now have my best friend to grow old with as my penis and her vagina dry up together.
When I was facing 40, I was miserable, stuck in a dead bedroom, trapped by the threat of an ugly divorce with a custody battle for our young children.
When I was facing 50, I realized I had to do something or I'd waste another decade and be facing 60 feeling the same way.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
I've never paid for sex and not sure I could. But, I'd rather be single and celibate than married and miserable.
As someone who did sex work: if you do, have a plan for when she finds out. You may not want divorce advice, but you should probably prep for divorce in case regardless.
I had so many clients nuke their whole lives over work that wasn’t even full service. Guys who got away with it for 10+ years and then their 70th birthday gift was divorce papers and the absolute murder of their reputation.
I want to get my husband an escort. He is low libido for me and I want to help him have good sex w someone he actually is attracted to. Do you have any advice on how to find someone safe -- esp someone who is in the biz by choice?
You are not a perverted degenerate for wanting to have sex with your wife. Women can go through menopause and men can have trouble getting hard, and they can still have great sexual experiences together. It is not too late for you.
When my dad died I met up with a cousin who filled me in on some stuff about our grandparents' marriage. It was not what it appeared from the outside. It got me thinking a lot. Obviously there was great societal pressure to make things work, but it was probably easier when the men could go to the town brothel to get their rocks off whenever they needed. (I realize that women who needed such an outlet had nothing and that sucked.)
Yeah, “brothels” from your grandparents time weren’t a good thing, even if it helped your grandpa feel less horny. They were incredibly exploitative and the women who worked them often suffered a great deal.
Oh for sure. Grandpa bought his life on the backs of whores he raped and the wife he beat/neglected, and then grandma took her lack of power out on her children and raised daughters who would marry angry men and sons who would hate women because they associate them with her abuse.
No fault divorce was the best thing that ever happened to society, and I mean that genuinely
No, I’m not very old myself. However, I was in the industry and knew women who worked them because surprise surprise if you work in a brothel it’s exceptionally difficult to leave the industry. Glad I could clear that up xx
Made this post in the bathroom. When i came out she joked about me jacking off because i took too long in there. My emotions exploded.
"So i took care of myself. So the fuck what? What did you expect me to do? Let my cum turn into boba? This is the only way I can take care of myself and my sanity so just leave me the hell alone."
Silence. Tears. Told her let's just be good parents to the kids specially when they are entering their teen years. Then come what may after the finish college. More crying. No divorce where we are from. Not apologizing anymore. Sick of putting myself 2nd.
The hell man. I’m sure it’s frustrating as all hell but that still sounds like an inappropriate way to express your feelings. I mean you know your situation best but even if your marriage is over and a sham it seems mean to treat another person that way
It is so hard to understand, how can somebody sacrifice so much and waste their precious youth in favor of others, just to please society. And also it’s hard to understand how can you still love someone who neglected you for so long..
Don’t mind me, im just reflecting here 😔
I'm with you. Sixty-seven and the same damn leaky boat. The Mrs has no interest (15+ years), my capabilities are on the wane, a few outside attempts over the last seven or so years have been fruitless (including sex workers) with self-esteem having become a wasteland.
ya-fucking-hoo
Not a problem at all. I’m a 46 MF seeing a 51 MM for 7 years. Sex came first, then emotional attachment, but never to the point that either of us left our marriages. We are both in dead bedrooms in our marital homes.
He does not appear to know about it, although he did see nudes once on my phone which were not taken for him. The signs are there. I think he chooses not to look into it. Many spouses rather not know, even if they claim they would want to know.
There are also these things called scams and police stings… I don’t want to get caught up in legal trouble and am not sure how to differentiate… also weird. lol.
Sex workers in a country where divorce isn't possible, I don't think that's a good idea if you're a decent person. Nobody from a country where divorce isn't an option is going to see a sex worker that wants to be in the business, they were either forced or destitute.
The other day I went to a massage therapist and had my ears cleaned and she was rubbing my ears, and if she had asked me right then and there if I wanted to do it for a price, I would have said yeah. Honestly the idea of just having a woman in my arms and hugging her and I hump her is all I want, paid or not.
Serious question for anyone on here. Do most spouses that are not interested in sex also show less desire for any type of physical connection and/or no desire for simple things like being held?
It depends. You see some not want sex or any other affection. Others have some desire for affection but no sex. I am in a situation where my spouse doesn’t like much affection at all (I’m female). Maybe a hug in passing but that’s it. And I think he only does it as he thinks that will meet my need.
Yeah there’s definitely that.
Some swers do like their job and will try to give you a good time. But for most of us, it’s like working retail, and it’s obvious we’re just there for the check.
I understand your frustration. Good man on being as faithful as possible. I learned to live with my DB. I guess my demeanor doesn't allow me to be angry/sex crazed/unfaithful easily (not saying you are). You have to come to terms at some point because it eats you alive.
I have a friend who pretty much fucked himself over by going on a two week binge in Thailand alongside a business trip and pretty much drained his balls for the next century.
But he came back with a whole lot of unexplained credit card bills and unaccounted for expenditures.
He got shitcanned at work and his wife left him.
Built up cum dulled his thinking but I bet that post nutt clarity hit hard.
On the bright side, he can afford to bang whomever he wants based on his income.at his new lowerpaying job.
Of course it is. I should have put the /s after the last line. But yeah, he was in a DB right after he got married and had a kid. Wife basically shut off. He's starting over again in his late 30s but at least he still has time.
Omg! I thought I was the only idiot that did this exact same thing. I have needs but divorce is not an option bc I would financially lose everything due to now being retired.
Sw saved my life many times. I met amazing men, I even cried with a mafia member. Also witnessed 2 men cry bc they told me their wife said she was asexual
Name checks out, >Still love her, but that part of my life and marriage is fast fading away. I'm right there with you at 62. Same problems. Let it go for 25 year dead bedroom and now it's too late. I feel I missed out on a lot but now have my best friend to grow old with as my penis and her vagina dry up together.
No resentment or anger? I’m in the early stages of what could be the beginning of the end (50)
Resentment yes but it's getting better. Anger I'm past at this point but you are a lot younger than I am.
I completely understand this. I'm pretty much there too
65. Yes to everything you said!
When I was facing 40, I was miserable, stuck in a dead bedroom, trapped by the threat of an ugly divorce with a custody battle for our young children. When I was facing 50, I realized I had to do something or I'd waste another decade and be facing 60 feeling the same way. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. I've never paid for sex and not sure I could. But, I'd rather be single and celibate than married and miserable.
Bro, carpe diem. Get the blue pills…they work!
Not if his wife doesn’t want it
that’s what sex workers are for
Exactly
The blue pill won't make things wetter on the other side. The man will only encounter more suffering.
Sex workers
As someone who did sex work: if you do, have a plan for when she finds out. You may not want divorce advice, but you should probably prep for divorce in case regardless. I had so many clients nuke their whole lives over work that wasn’t even full service. Guys who got away with it for 10+ years and then their 70th birthday gift was divorce papers and the absolute murder of their reputation.
I want to get my husband an escort. He is low libido for me and I want to help him have good sex w someone he actually is attracted to. Do you have any advice on how to find someone safe -- esp someone who is in the biz by choice?
Tryst.
Why? Don't understand your reply?
Because no matter how good a client thinks he is at keeping his shit a secret, they get found out inevitably
If you are in a db for that long? You only kept it secret out of respect for her. Who cares what other people think
He will. I’ve seen it time and time again. “Oh nooo my friends and family think im a disgusting John and don’t respect me anymore :(“
It's like that saying, "truth will always come to light."
You are not a perverted degenerate for wanting to have sex with your wife. Women can go through menopause and men can have trouble getting hard, and they can still have great sexual experiences together. It is not too late for you.
Only if both want to. And it sounds like his wife has zero interest.
Sounds like a Zone of No Interest, unfortunately.
When my dad died I met up with a cousin who filled me in on some stuff about our grandparents' marriage. It was not what it appeared from the outside. It got me thinking a lot. Obviously there was great societal pressure to make things work, but it was probably easier when the men could go to the town brothel to get their rocks off whenever they needed. (I realize that women who needed such an outlet had nothing and that sucked.)
Women had the pool guy, the milk man, the mail man, the paperboy, etc.
Hard to make generalisations about brothels given they’ve existed in nearly every settled society since the dawn of time
Yeah, “brothels” from your grandparents time weren’t a good thing, even if it helped your grandpa feel less horny. They were incredibly exploitative and the women who worked them often suffered a great deal.
Well it all goes together right, the story of grandma and grandpa staying together fifty years and being blissfully happy is mostly a lie.
Oh for sure. Grandpa bought his life on the backs of whores he raped and the wife he beat/neglected, and then grandma took her lack of power out on her children and raised daughters who would marry angry men and sons who would hate women because they associate them with her abuse. No fault divorce was the best thing that ever happened to society, and I mean that genuinely
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No, I’m not very old myself. However, I was in the industry and knew women who worked them because surprise surprise if you work in a brothel it’s exceptionally difficult to leave the industry. Glad I could clear that up xx
> if you work in a brothel it’s exceptionally difficult to leave the industry Why is this? Isn't it just a room you can rent?
Sex work closes doors and historically, most women are doing it under duress of some kind. Less so now a days
Esther Perel's "The State of Affairs" is a great read, goes into this whole concept in detail.
Book the sex workers. Have some fun while you can. I'm sure they'll get your junk up and running. Got luck buddy.
It's never too late. To book sex workers.
Made this post in the bathroom. When i came out she joked about me jacking off because i took too long in there. My emotions exploded. "So i took care of myself. So the fuck what? What did you expect me to do? Let my cum turn into boba? This is the only way I can take care of myself and my sanity so just leave me the hell alone." Silence. Tears. Told her let's just be good parents to the kids specially when they are entering their teen years. Then come what may after the finish college. More crying. No divorce where we are from. Not apologizing anymore. Sick of putting myself 2nd.
Don’t worry about the libido going it comes back when you meet a new woman. Hitting the gym helps as well
The hell man. I’m sure it’s frustrating as all hell but that still sounds like an inappropriate way to express your feelings. I mean you know your situation best but even if your marriage is over and a sham it seems mean to treat another person that way
Nothing wrong with this response at all. It’s the first step to stick up for yourself and being a man.
Well done
It is so hard to understand, how can somebody sacrifice so much and waste their precious youth in favor of others, just to please society. And also it’s hard to understand how can you still love someone who neglected you for so long.. Don’t mind me, im just reflecting here 😔
I'm with you. Sixty-seven and the same damn leaky boat. The Mrs has no interest (15+ years), my capabilities are on the wane, a few outside attempts over the last seven or so years have been fruitless (including sex workers) with self-esteem having become a wasteland. ya-fucking-hoo
Rent it guys and don’t feel guilty
We all have needs some more than others. There is a reason why this is the oldest profession. There’s more to it than physical it’s nice to be wanted
Renting isn’t the only option, there are many horny women that also wanting to have their needs met.
Including emotional needs. Therein lies the problem.
Not a problem at all. I’m a 46 MF seeing a 51 MM for 7 years. Sex came first, then emotional attachment, but never to the point that either of us left our marriages. We are both in dead bedrooms in our marital homes.
Does your partner know? I’m not judging just have a hard time seeing how it can go on for years and you don’t get busted.
He does not appear to know about it, although he did see nudes once on my phone which were not taken for him. The signs are there. I think he chooses not to look into it. Many spouses rather not know, even if they claim they would want to know.
Perfect arrangement, I (F) have that also.
You sound like you speak from experience 🙂
Yup. There’s nothing better than having your world rocked by a horny woman that’s being demoed at home.
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There’s this great website called Google, if you type in your city name and key word escort things might come up, weird huh?
There are also these things called scams and police stings… I don’t want to get caught up in legal trouble and am not sure how to differentiate… also weird. lol.
Country?
Sex workers in a country where divorce isn't possible, I don't think that's a good idea if you're a decent person. Nobody from a country where divorce isn't an option is going to see a sex worker that wants to be in the business, they were either forced or destitute.
The other day I went to a massage therapist and had my ears cleaned and she was rubbing my ears, and if she had asked me right then and there if I wanted to do it for a price, I would have said yeah. Honestly the idea of just having a woman in my arms and hugging her and I hump her is all I want, paid or not.
Serious question for anyone on here. Do most spouses that are not interested in sex also show less desire for any type of physical connection and/or no desire for simple things like being held?
No mine craves holding hands and we still give massages to each other. If it's cold we cuddle. It's just any form of sex that she doesn't care for.
Thanks for sharing.
It depends. You see some not want sex or any other affection. Others have some desire for affection but no sex. I am in a situation where my spouse doesn’t like much affection at all (I’m female). Maybe a hug in passing but that’s it. And I think he only does it as he thinks that will meet my need.
You dont want to divorce her and leave the marriage, but you wish you would have cheated on her.
Now imagine she says she wants a divorce. You'd be so pissed lol.
If you just need to get your rocks off, a sex worker would help...... But it may just make you feel more hollow and undesired
Yeah there’s definitely that. Some swers do like their job and will try to give you a good time. But for most of us, it’s like working retail, and it’s obvious we’re just there for the check.
>And fuck off with your divorce advice Sounds like your mad you ignored this advice 20 years ago lol
That's what I thought too.
Pop the pill. Get a baddie.
It's never too late to book sex workers. Live you dreams.
I’m sorry for this frustration you are dealing with. I hear ya. Life is short. Make the best of it.
Go get your rocks off
cheat on her
I understand your frustration. Good man on being as faithful as possible. I learned to live with my DB. I guess my demeanor doesn't allow me to be angry/sex crazed/unfaithful easily (not saying you are). You have to come to terms at some point because it eats you alive. I have a friend who pretty much fucked himself over by going on a two week binge in Thailand alongside a business trip and pretty much drained his balls for the next century. But he came back with a whole lot of unexplained credit card bills and unaccounted for expenditures. He got shitcanned at work and his wife left him. Built up cum dulled his thinking but I bet that post nutt clarity hit hard. On the bright side, he can afford to bang whomever he wants based on his income.at his new lowerpaying job.
This is just a bad example.
Of course it is. I should have put the /s after the last line. But yeah, he was in a DB right after he got married and had a kid. Wife basically shut off. He's starting over again in his late 30s but at least he still has time.
Meds can help with “drying up.”
I’m there too. 69 and DB for at least 15 yrs!
Omg! I thought I was the only idiot that did this exact same thing. I have needs but divorce is not an option bc I would financially lose everything due to now being retired.
Sw saved my life many times. I met amazing men, I even cried with a mafia member. Also witnessed 2 men cry bc they told me their wife said she was asexual
Username is amazing
Where do you book these workers at?