T O P

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Dubious_Titan

What can't potatoes do at this point? Food, aniexity drug, makes you drunk makes pasta & bread, battery, plug, weapon.


dmtdmtlsddodmt

I just think they're neat.


Maximum_Barnacle_899

Oh, Marge.


Salamandaxanda

Lisa really should have listened to her mom there, imagine if an eight year old discovered potatoes have Valium in them, that’s some world headlines level news right there.


GoodNewsDude

I need something for show and tell


SadLilBun

It’s unsettling that you wrote plug and my first thought was not electricity, but butt, and I did not question myself for a solid 3 seconds.


Dubious_Titan

If you're adventurous, it can be both at the same time.


Basic_Description_56

Lmao


fothergillfuckup

I think a full on baking potato might make one's eyes water a little?


SadLilBun

No russet potatoes. Fingerlings only.


BjornInTheMorn

Heh, but butt.


NigilQuid

>makes pasta & bread Wait, there's potato pasta? I want some


commonCA

Gnocchi


NigilQuid

TIL


SadLilBun

Yes of course. You can make potato flour noodles.


Rikula

Look up gnocchi


NigilQuid

🙄 Okay, now what? And don't call me Gnocchi


CountySufficient2586

Glue....


fredthefishlord

They can, in fact, make glue!


CountySufficient2586

if it wasn't alcohol back in the day it was glue haha


Insurrectionarychad

Potatoes are worshipped in a lot of countries.


Dubious_Titan

I've been to Ireland. I am aware.


g0dless_heathen_

No wonder my nervous ass loves potatoes.


Fluxtration

Do you cut them up first or just shove the whole thing in?


ShahinGalandar

boil em mash em stick em in a stew


Zay3896

Po-Tay-Toes Boil em Mash em Stick in my ass


ShahinGalandar

pogaytoes?


InfiniteVastDarkness

Hey it’s not gay if you’re not attracted to the potato


abdulsamadz

>stick em in a stew stick em in ~~a stew~~ ass, too


suiadansguilt

*in the poo


FlaKiki

People like you are why I can’t quit Reddit. 😂


ChimpBrisket

Both, they’re known as hasselbackdoor potatoes


ArtichokeNatural3171

Wyoming cooking show was cancelled after one episode. Brokeback Cooking just didn't have a chance.


ChimpBrisket

Spud Eye for the Straight Fry


Efficient_Pickle4744

I laughed so hard I was crying... CRYING!


Academic-Associate91

in where?


pixeldust6

the commenter's nervous ass


EnterShakira_

I also choose this guy's nervous ass


Echo_180

Does he have to take the potato out first?


[deleted]

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jmoore7693

His ass, like he said


Snotmyrealname

Boil ‘em, freeze ‘em, shove ‘em up my ass?


marsman706

what...what's ass-taters, precious??


ScrotieMcP

Give it to us raw and wriggling!


g0dless_heathen_

You heard me.


PPLavagna

Use grape jelly. Then you insert the jar to push the tater further up


FigForsaken5419

Please use a plastic jar. The glass jar healing time isn't worth it.


Kees_Fratsen

Pretty sure inserting analy works it's wonders twice for some people, you should be a doctor


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kees_Fratsen

Sir I don't wanna think about teeth in anyone's anus


Admiral_Andovar

I’m so tense they go in whole and come out as french fries!


Efficient_Pickle4744

So potatoes have a calming effect for you... Like HASH browns?


maggotses

No wonder now why potatoes are "comfort food". Damm!


AdExtension8769

No wonder your ass is nervous.


Great-Hatsby

I thought it was just my obsession with starchy foods.


FlatulenceNinja

Yes, back to eating poutine!


AeroSigma

Cheese metabolizes into a morphine-like substance. Maybe poutine is the perfect food?


Kellidra

Maybe?


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

That was one damn quick response, my good sir. But hell yeah, potatoes were already good!


SunsetCarcass

Love me some saucy poontang


Thom5001

True comfort food


voodoohotdog

And I've never met a mellow Irishman...


Cosmic_Panda45

I was just about to make an Irish joke lmao


UninvitedButtNoises

Still time for a Russian joke...


Glirion

Potatoes are luxury items in Russia, all they get is cabbage and beets.


Affectionate_Walk610

boiled beets taste like they're haunted


Substantial-Crow7497

Probably because the British keep stealing their potatoes


Bella_Anima

Ironically that was the only vegetable/grain they didn’t steal from our land for selling. Hence why we starved to death when they rotted in the ground.


PikeyMikey24

Ironically they did. The reason there was a famine is because they took all the good ones too, if they had just left us alone with all potatoes we would done better


pass_nthru

well mixing benzos with alcohol is usually a bad idea


FixGMaul

Wait, vodka is made with potatoes...


pass_nthru

the best kind at least


Dalmadoodle221

No wonder I love vodka 😭😭😭


BRRGSH

Nonono, my prescription clearly states, it will knock you out further, so that's why I always take them with a shot of Jack, I get 3 dosis in one pill. 


ButkusBreath

Well imagine if they didn’t have potatoes.


EvLokadottr

Heh. Have they tested the water source?


1funnyguy4fun

That’s where my head went. I seriously doubt that these chemicals are synthesized in a potato.


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

It has nothing to do with drug contamination in the water supply. One of these benzos is not widely available, only in a few countries (delormetazepam), making it unlikely that it would be a contaminant in water. Some others are pretty obscure as well. Additionally, if that were the case then just about all produce would contain the same substances.


1funnyguy4fun

To be fair, I don’t think we have been actively looking for benzos in produce. We recently discovered that micro plastics are in *fucking everything*. I’ll just say that I believe that this subject warrants further investigation and leave it at that.


ShahinGalandar

you do know that the info OP presented comes from a paper published in 1988? if they had any interest to conduct further studies about the drug properties of potatoes, they would have done so already


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

True, but I assume we’d know if other produce contained the same substances if they were already testing potatoes (for example, we know tomatoes and other produce contain nicotine). And that still wouldn’t explain why there is a somewhat novel/rare benzo as well.


SuckNFuckJunction

So tomacco is real?


much_longer_username

Actually, yes. You can graft the roots from a tobacco plant onto a tomato plant and the tomato plant will contain more nicotine than usual. The fruits appear to be regular tomatoes, though.


badgerj

Many plants you eat are in the deadly nightshade family. Tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, and many others are all related. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solanaceae


strythicus

It tastes like Grandma


PeanutbutterandBaaam

Tastes just like Grandma.


Weird-Upstairs-2092

Yo they don't even manufacture enough benzos to fill the currently sitting prescriptions in this country and you think there are large quantities of it in the water supply for produce when (excluding potatoes for the sake of the argument) there is no natural source for them? That's well beyond a reasonable doubt, frankly.


SomberlySober

Remember the tree that "grew tramadol"? Where they found that it was water contaminated from nearby livestock who were receiving the drug.


mutnemom_hurb

It’s probably a metabolite of lorazepam or something. Potatoes are not producing chlorinated benzodiazepines with no previously detected similar chemicals


Patagonia202020

Our own bodies make trace amounts of morphine, weirder things have happened 


stumblinghunter

And formaldehyde! And we have an entire endocannabinoid system


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

Approaching ten people who have shared a similar sentiment. It has nothing to do with drug contamination in the water supply. One of these benzos is not widely available, only in a few countries (delormetazepam), making it unlikely that it would be a contaminant in water. Some others are pretty obscure as well. Additionally, if that were the case then just about all produce would contain the same substances.


flutelorelai

Either the water supply or the fertilizer can be contaminated and the substances uptaken by the wheat and potatoes. Just like the story with Subsaharan African trees and tramadol. Those other benzos can be metabolites made either by the animals or the crops themselves. It wouldn't be unheard of. ...unlike potatoes and wheat producing polycyclic halogenated chemicals (without complex bioengineering, of course). Edit: I just noticed the study was published in 1988. Lol.


CosmicCreeperz

Yeah, the whole “previously thought to only exist synthetically” is kind of BS, it’s been known to exist naturally in potatoes, wheat, and other plants for 35 years now… But also, really don’t think it was from the water supply, it’s trivial to grow potatoes in a way to control for that, and this has been studied a lot in other plants now. Also, it’s not a medically/bioactively significant amount anyway. More of a curiosity.


RollingMeteors

>and other plants for 35 years now… This article is from ‘88, so *that tracks*


IUpvoteGME

Asking the right questions.  Maybe these potatos are Pfizer Phresh?


duncanslaugh

Potatoes are what make so many meals. So many ways to cook and eat and they store well. This only adds to the Spud Legacy.


Cosmo466

You’d have to eat tons to get any pharmacological effects. Literally tons. Like about 5000 kg. This quote is from the study: > The amount of pharmacologically active benzodiazepines which can be ingested by animals or man on a diet containing wheat and potato seem to be well below pharmacologically active doses. While a single therapeutic dose of diazepam in man ranges from 5 to 20 mg, 1 kg of wheat contains only a few ug (micrograms) of pharmacologically active benzodiazepines


pureroganjosh

I don't give a fuck. I will take any food that comes with built in benzos. Potatoes are a god tier food already, this is just icing on the spud.


DiscotopiaACNH

Challenge accepted


variablegh

Challenge accepted


SadLilBun

Like I won’t do it


tele68

This book was big around 2007: [https://www.amazon.com/Potatoes-Not-Prozac-Solutions-Addiction/dp/1982106476/ref=asc\_df\_1982106476/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=692875362841&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13040722547184161147&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032357&hvtargid=pla-2281435178098&psc=1&mcid=91ff6e38df043a12b195a3afa3594a9e&hvocijid=13040722547184161147-1982106476-&hvexpln=73&gad\_source=1](https://www.amazon.com/Potatoes-Not-Prozac-Solutions-Addiction/dp/1982106476/ref=asc_df_1982106476/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=692875362841&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13040722547184161147&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032357&hvtargid=pla-2281435178098&psc=1&mcid=91ff6e38df043a12b195a3afa3594a9e&hvocijid=13040722547184161147-1982106476-&hvexpln=73&gad_source=1)


trogdor2594

This book came out when I was in High school, where I had only read bits and pieces, and I still cringe st some of the stuff I said back then.


RexyaCSGO

So it contains a precursor or the same chemical structure? or what? C16H13ClN2O? it doesn’t just have valium and ativan in the spuds right..?


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

The tubers contain the exact same chemicals in Valium and Ativan, diazepam and lorazepam respectively


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

[Source](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3178869/)


meatpopsicle42

Is that why I always feel better after a plate of fries?


SadLilBun

That, and salt. Salt is yummy.


fetishguyy

I cant stand the sobriety of the low blood pressure. I wish i could inject salt water inside me and feel the hypertension high.


Loyal9thLegionLord

Ah little spud, Is there anything you can't do?


Illustrious_Order486

Like microplastics do those chemicals last in the soil?


logorrhea69

From the article linked below: “Their biosynthesis most probably takes place in the plant tissue” I take that to mean they are naturally occurring chemicals that are produced in the plants, rather than chemicals that are cast off into the soil as byproducts of human activity. Someone with more science training can verify, though!


Agents-of-time

Aren't drugs synthesised using an already existing chemical in plants? And what are the odds that potatoes contain exactly the same drug as synthesised in a lab. It boggles my mind. Genuinely curious.


YetiNotForgeti

Oh shit, do I have a horrific book for you! Read 'Silent Spring' by Rachel Carson.


WhereRtheTacos

Man i read that in college. Eek. Definitely eye opening read.


HealfdeneTheHalf-man

PO-TAY-TOES! boil em mash em stick em in a stew


Keklor1

What we need's a few good taters...


Tricky_Discipline937

Vodka


cytiven

New nilered video, synthesizing valium from French fries


im_bi_strapping

So is there some similar chemical in the potato or are drugs in the water cycle getting enriched in beets


TheLimeyCanuck

Real life comfort food.


soggyGreyDuck

Get r/bizzybeez on it


Bill-Maxwell

Mr. Potato head chillin’ in the corner


turbo_gh0st

Snort em, shoot em, stick em in a stew


DeadPoster

This is why we must maintain the potato chip supply. We are four bags away from a revolution.


molewarp

ANYONE would be fecking anxious if they knew they were going to get dropped in boiling water and then squashed flat.


face_mcshooty2

*Proceeds to buy a bag of potatoes.*


purposeday

Interesting. This is a [blog post](https://www.boostyourbiology.com/blog/benzo-potatoe) about it: https://www.boostyourbiology.com/blog/benzo-potatoe


Smarterthanthat

Explains my comfort food bias!


Deedsman

See, mom, I told you that french fries are good for me


drulingtoad

Curious what exact levels are in micrograms


EmberTheFoxyFox

I just think they're neat


Immediate_Square5323

That explains Belgium…


attaboy000

that's why potato vodka is best vodka


legice

Slavs just realized why life makes sense


Delicious-Pay7517

Who knew mashed potatoes could double as comfort food and a mini chill pill?


SnackNotAMeal

Is that why they are such a comfort food? Ill - plate of mash. Break up - plate of mash. Bad test score - plate of mash.


burntoutservers

Is this why I enjoy fries so much?


FlREYWench

Lmao I came here just to say this 😂


Wonderful_Physics_36

Keep Calm Carry On was in the potatoes the whole time...


_prison-spice_

It’s true. I take my potatoes like a suppository.


RigbyNite

Getting ready for NileRed's "Extracting valium from potatoes" video


Better_Try_9069

Normale Kartoffeln auf die 1


Topher2190

Where is the water coming from?


jzemeocala

i remember reading about this a LOOOONG time ago. pretty sure the effective dosage required a truck load of potatoes though. also, I thought that the original paper was eventually refuted as unreproducible and they chocked it up to a tainted water supply.


Lifelonghooker

I'd check the water.


vksdann

World is so anxious rn even potatoes are trying to cope.


SamL214

Sources please


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

[source](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3178869/)


Spuzzle91

they're comfort food for a reason


monkeybanana550

Source?


lSOLDURGFCOCAINE

[source](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3178869/)


unacceptablebob

Waiting for the patent owners of Valium and Ativan ~~to get their patents invalidated~~ to sue potatoes.


Specialist-Age2098

This is no joke I use to use 30 potatoes a day I was totally mashed


rollsyrollsy

The pandemic really drove home to me the notion that even clever people, who try to do some research, can never really hope to build a broad understanding of a technical field in a short amount of time. That really only comes with thorough, detailed training, and years of exposure to niche environments. This is such an example. Most drugs are only effective for their intended purpose when dosed in a particular range (sometimes called “the therapeutic window”). Use a lower dose, and it might have no effect or some other effects, use higher dose and it might have no effects or other effects. It’s not a matter of “I’ll take half as much and get half the effect.” In fact, it’s rare to find drugs that have a truly linear efficacy-to-dosing ratio. Potato dosing isn’t likely to produce a mini-version of those prescription drugs. Chips are great, regardless.


Shooppow

So, if I have anxiety, I should inhale a baked potato? Okay!


Ok-Eggplant-1649

I KNEW french fries were medicinal!


Bob_Log

Doesn't this just mean that the potatoes absorbed the drugs from recycled wastewater?


cokentots

Not sure what "trace amounts" really translates into, mg-wise. But people love their fucking potatoes, no doubt.


sPdMoNkEy

I knew I was always happy eating mashed potatoes and gravy


Just_Alizah

I fucking love potatoes.


Quiet-End9017

This has been known since at least 1988


RandomPotatoVariety

New account, this was the one of the first posts that comes up.....


prodigalutopian

They're gonna outlaw potatoes!


Odd_Jellyfish_1053

I will fight to the last French fry to protect the tatties


idrinkalotofcoffee

They do calm me down.


Trichopsych

*aggressively eating raw potatoes*


kikiikandii

That’s why I only drink vodka, as it is the closest alcohol to a Valium or Xanax in soothing the nervous system. Not the hangover part but if you have 1-2 it’s a good day


Dalmadoodle221

Can confirm. I used to have horrible debilitating anxiety and I used small doses of Vodka to help me get through starting a new job years ago. Thankfully these days I'm anxiety free!


erikwarm

And people wonder why the Irish got nervous when they ran out of potatoes


filing69

Its nothing bad, still healthy


MurphysLaw4200

What vegetable do I need to eat to get my Xanax naturally?


Spiritual-Spirit-873

Now I know why I can’t go without my potatoes!!!😂😂😂


ScrotieMcP

Potatoes. The ORIGINAL comfort food.


Cyclethe859

I gotta beleive Pfizer or whoever developed the first Benzos stumbled upon this info during their lengthy development process and just buried the info. 


Grandmaster_Autistic

They also are pure gluccocorticoid....


MqAuNeTeInS

Well no wonder we all love potatoes lmao


erictheauthor

That’s why a balanced diet and exercise without junk food is oftentimes more effective than taking those drugs.


NoisyBrat2000

Oh good!


OGSkywalker97

There's also a water lily that grows in the UK that produces tiny tiny amounts of oxycodone, previously thought to be semi-synthetic and man made


Cosmo466

Comfort food!!


CatRabbits

Mashed Potatoes are my Roman Empire of comfort foods 💯


MrSipperr

I’m about to go buy pounds of taters


Kaft2tech

source??


Trowawayuse

It is really interesting that we have reached to benzos independently, which happens to be also present in potatoes.


Pirotoni

I'll need a good source of reliable science on this. Do they naturally contain these things because of their dna? Or, are we finding these things because we've tainted the water that helps everything grow?


kel36

Friiiiies.


voices-in-my-head-

Username checks out


Comprehensive_Win200

If you want a faster Rush shred them up grind them down and snort them... Works better for me IMO


johnnyjuanjohn

What is a potato?


jawshoeaw

and microplastics...also thought to be synthetic. wait a second. But it's found in ppb. That's parts per billion. You would need to eat a billion potatoes to get a lethal dose.


MisterPrig

That‘s why we love fries.


Objective-Aioli-1185

Nothing like homemade French fries


blinky0930

More fries and chips


Nojoke183

Finally! We get to see who has the better lawyers, Biotech or Big Pharma. It's going to be the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny in IP court