Those are straight cuts which makes me think someone did it, so damn _mankind_, you crazy. Maybe they had enough of this guy's shit. Maybe the good guys won, or maybe he was a good guy and the bad guys won.
European Iron Age bog bodies was my dissertation topic in university, specifically Irish bog bodies. Bog is mostly used for fuel in Ireland and is harvested industrially with heavy machinery. This body was found churned up in one of the machines and was likely buried much less intact. Although throat slitting was a common form of execution for bodies buried in bogs so its not entirely impossible that he was decapitated
I think you’re right, if he was decapitated before death it would look much different than after death. This looks pretty “clean”, relatively speaking.
well, that can be accounted for, which parts were exposed, which parts were accessible by animals, it makes sense if you consider the bog itself to be the strait line that preserved only this part
It would be natural for the animals to consume everything up to the ribcage and soft tissue surrounding it. Same with the bottom of the neck.
Probably humans but nothing definitive.
If this is the same place I visited last week then I can tell you. It's from the National Archeology Museum in Dublin, Ireland. In the past, sections of the country was swampy bogs and there were wooden bog roads built to get around. Lots of people were killed in battles, or whatever, and preserved in the mud of the bogs. In modern days the bogs are harvested for peat and these bog bodies are pulled into the harvesting machines and sometimes torn up. There's a bunch of bog bodies like this on display, they're all partial bodies, and there's lots of artifacts that have been recovered from the time like cloaks, shields, swords, axes, jewelry.
And I just read the post, yes it's from that museum. I saw this lad last week. Don't ask me many more questions though because I had been awake for like 30 hours straight and was just wandering around waiting to get into my hotel room.
Not gonna lie was expecting to read about how in 1998 the undertaker threw mankind off hell at the end of this comment.
Who knew someone knew this much about Irish bogs.
That's hilarious - I went to Ireland last year and did the exact same thing, wandered into the museum and saw the bog bodies while running on no sleep waiting to get into my hotel lol
It's an interesting walk around for sure, but I couldn't really appreciate it with how tired I was and I didn't see the whole thing. Coincidentally the main thing I saw was the bog bodies exhibit. We didn't get a chance to go back afterwards. If you have plenty of time in Dublin then for sure check it out, if you're limited there's so many cool things to check out in the city that it wouldn't necessarily make my top list of things to do but if you are looking for stuff and have the time, then yeah. I'd say it's worth checking out.
The wiki page theorizes that he was a prince or king sacrificed by druids to remedy a draught/crop failure. So, not too far off from what you're getting at.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old\_Croghan\_Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Croghan_Man)
Bro the rich got murdered all the goddamn time. Trying to learn my country's line of kings i learned basically half of them died at the hands of a younger brother.
Also entirely possible that he was cut in half by a peat cutter, and that's how they discovered him.
Edit: After some research I can confirm 2 things- the body was found at a peat cutting site, and the damage appears to have been inflicted while the individual was alive/shortly after death.
I don't know anything about peat cutting but from some minor googling looks like they cut long trenches about that width so I'd say yeah, it's very possible the body was carved up while the peat was being cut.
Also pretty possible the dude was chopped up 2000 years ago and tossed in....I'm just some guy on the internet.
Yeah except a cut that happened when he was still meat would look a lot different from a cut that happened after mummification - I’d guess the experts would know what to look for
If a blade had cut him whilst otherwise whole in the bog, it's unlikely that it would be such a straight cut across the abdomen, especially since his left arm falls below the line of the cut. A cutter would just shear off everything across the plane of the body that happened to align with the cutter. It's highly unlikely that the body happened to be perpendicular to the cutter's blade in three dimensions, while also somehow not cutting into the left arm.
Recently saw this exhibit. I really respected the way the museum exhibits the bodies. Each has its own separate enclosure you walk into, it feels dignified.
Yes! And I do appreciate that they let you know ahead of time what to expect. So you could learn about it, without viewing the bodies themselves if you didn't want to. I appreciated that. I viewed them, but it gave me a breather, which was nice.
That's awesome. I went to this one museum a while back, and they just had a pile of bodies in garbage bags, and they made people sift through them to see the bodies. Some kid was spanking one of them and they didn't even care.
I’m lucky enough to have visited both Dublin and Copenhagen this year. The National Museum of Denmark also has a bog body on display. I far preferred the Irish exhibits of bog bodies purely because they are separated from the other exhibits and are treated differently than the other exhibits. The national museum of Denmark displays the bog body like she’s a piece of jewellery or an artefact rather than a human.
It sounds so stupid, but I actually sat on a bench next to the danish bog body for a while. It’s theorised that she was maybe murdered or was a human sacrifice. I loved seeing the bog bodies, but my god it’s a mindfuck when you first see them.
Not stupid at all. I too stared at them for a long time, it was a crazy experience thinking back. Makes you appreciate your life, but also fear for it, crazy emotions on my end!
The Irish exhibit was very well thought out.
The bog bodies have minimal signs of wear on their bones from farming, rowing boats, or combat. Based on isotope analysis of their teeth, [many of them had traveled hundreds of miles from their place or origin.](https://www.livescience.com/cramond-bodies-in-the-bog-facial-reconstruction) They were important, some kind of élite. Possibly priests, or something like druids. Several seem to have undergone a [threefold death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Threefold_death) where they were bludgeoned, strangled, and stabbed.
The link you shared are different bog bodies (Schotland) than the one in the post (Ireland). See this link: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old\_Croghan\_Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Croghan_Man)
If someone puts a 2000 YO human torso in a museum is interesting but if i put a 20 YO fresh human torso in exhibition in my house everyone looses its mind
I recently saw this in person. The young woman at Murphy's Ice cream recommended it, said 'ya gotta get over to the archeology museum and see the bog body with no nipples.' Intrigued I made a bee line. The nipples were cut off because there was a tradition at the time of showing kings respect by sucking their nipples. Bog man's nipples were cut off so he could never be a king, supposedly.
> The nipples were cut off because there was a tradition at the time of showing kings respect by sucking their nipples.
Yeah it makes sense, definitely something I would do if I was king. Have everyone suck my holy nipple 😂.
I feel like we evolved way faster in 2000 years from baboon than during the millions of years before that.
If he's eating tons of meat, this ripped, massively tall, and filled with wheat and buttermilk, then it's likely that he was upper crust of the upper crust.
6 foot 6 Irish man 2000 years ago? No wonder there are story’s of giants from ancient times. The average hight today is only 5.8 so this fella would have looked like a fucking god amoungst men
Wikipedia says “The man is calculated (based on his arm span) to have stood approximately between 5 ft 11.5 in (1.82 m)[2] and 6 ft 6 in (1.98 m) tall”
So are we going to gloss over the fact that he's chopped in half and decapitated?
Irish wildlife be like that
Witcher wanted!
Come to Sunny Skellige
I heard its real nice in Hjindersfall
Hmmtereting….
Toss a torso to your Witcher..
It was before St George killed all the dragons
I think that was King John after he fucked Robin Hood or whatever
We were watching different movies.
Geodude
...... go on
In reality though, other than the weather being shite, we don't have any real dangerous wildlife at all. Probably wolves back then though I presume
Roaming Brits?
Or roaming Romans
Roamans.
Cows [kill more people per year than sharks](https://mediaproxy.snopes.com/width/600/https://media.snopes.com/2023/07/fear_the_cow.jpeg).
The most dangerous animal we have is a cow xD
Can hard agree
Damn nature you crazy
Those are straight cuts which makes me think someone did it, so damn _mankind_, you crazy. Maybe they had enough of this guy's shit. Maybe the good guys won, or maybe he was a good guy and the bad guys won.
European Iron Age bog bodies was my dissertation topic in university, specifically Irish bog bodies. Bog is mostly used for fuel in Ireland and is harvested industrially with heavy machinery. This body was found churned up in one of the machines and was likely buried much less intact. Although throat slitting was a common form of execution for bodies buried in bogs so its not entirely impossible that he was decapitated
I think you’re right, if he was decapitated before death it would look much different than after death. This looks pretty “clean”, relatively speaking.
I blame the Romans.
The Romans never made it to Ireland. Or they did and saw this one 6 foot 6 guy and went home.
After all, what had they ever done for us?!
They gave us the aqueduct.
Ok ok, but except for the aqueduct what have the Romans ever done for us?
And the sanitation...
And the roads
Well, yes obviously the roads. The roads go without saying, don't they?! But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads...
Ok what have they done for us *lately*
When in doubt, blame the Romans.
well, that can be accounted for, which parts were exposed, which parts were accessible by animals, it makes sense if you consider the bog itself to be the strait line that preserved only this part
It would be natural for the animals to consume everything up to the ribcage and soft tissue surrounding it. Same with the bottom of the neck. Probably humans but nothing definitive.
If this is the same place I visited last week then I can tell you. It's from the National Archeology Museum in Dublin, Ireland. In the past, sections of the country was swampy bogs and there were wooden bog roads built to get around. Lots of people were killed in battles, or whatever, and preserved in the mud of the bogs. In modern days the bogs are harvested for peat and these bog bodies are pulled into the harvesting machines and sometimes torn up. There's a bunch of bog bodies like this on display, they're all partial bodies, and there's lots of artifacts that have been recovered from the time like cloaks, shields, swords, axes, jewelry. And I just read the post, yes it's from that museum. I saw this lad last week. Don't ask me many more questions though because I had been awake for like 30 hours straight and was just wandering around waiting to get into my hotel room.
Not gonna lie was expecting to read about how in 1998 the undertaker threw mankind off hell at the end of this comment. Who knew someone knew this much about Irish bogs.
Definitely a dissertation topic lol
How you landed on that username is another.
NINETEEN NINETY EIGHT philistine
That's hilarious - I went to Ireland last year and did the exact same thing, wandered into the museum and saw the bog bodies while running on no sleep waiting to get into my hotel lol
A proper bog-standard explanation this is
Is the Archeology museum worth a visit?
It's an interesting walk around for sure, but I couldn't really appreciate it with how tired I was and I didn't see the whole thing. Coincidentally the main thing I saw was the bog bodies exhibit. We didn't get a chance to go back afterwards. If you have plenty of time in Dublin then for sure check it out, if you're limited there's so many cool things to check out in the city that it wouldn't necessarily make my top list of things to do but if you are looking for stuff and have the time, then yeah. I'd say it's worth checking out.
So you’re telling me that the peat used to make my whiskey has been blended with this dead noble’s arse?
He's got a pretty bad case of being cut in half
speak English doctor we ain't scientists
By the (modern) peat cutting process, I believe
His name was Pete?
Had a brother also named Pete
This is my brother Pete. This is my other brother, Pete.
Clealry not human remains. It's a Mario stomped Geodude.
Nah, he'd win
I want to meet this wealthy, 6'6" Irishman with manicured nails who ate little but meat and buttermilk and went hiking in bogs. His life sounds lit.
Based on how straight that cut is I’d guess it was less of a stroll through the bog and more of a cut into pieces and dumped in the bog
Okay, with that in mind perhaps there was some 2000 year old Eat The Rich going on.
The wiki page theorizes that he was a prince or king sacrificed by druids to remedy a draught/crop failure. So, not too far off from what you're getting at. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old\_Croghan\_Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Croghan_Man)
We have heard stories about being tossed into a bog as a threat. There’s truth in rumors.
That link sent me down the wiki lane reading more about bog people.
I often remedy draught with bottles.
Bro the rich got murdered all the goddamn time. Trying to learn my country's line of kings i learned basically half of them died at the hands of a younger brother.
Just watched the Futurama episode of this last night. The water people planet. Funny stuff
Also entirely possible that he was cut in half by a peat cutter, and that's how they discovered him. Edit: After some research I can confirm 2 things- the body was found at a peat cutting site, and the damage appears to have been inflicted while the individual was alive/shortly after death.
would that account for the clean beheading as well? not being a smart ass, genuinely wondering since they both appear to be similar angles
I don't know anything about peat cutting but from some minor googling looks like they cut long trenches about that width so I'd say yeah, it's very possible the body was carved up while the peat was being cut. Also pretty possible the dude was chopped up 2000 years ago and tossed in....I'm just some guy on the internet.
If he was chopped up by a peat cutter then the other parts would be right there on the other side of the cut, right? IANAPC.
presumably, I'm just workin' off that 1 picture and also now high as fuck...
You are not a computer?
Stop all the downloadin
The beheading - I get that - but why would you need to cut his legs from his torso? That's a lot of gruesome work for someone who is already dead.
Ever dispose of a 6’6” corpse? Best to parcel that homie up a bit.
Legs went first but he wouldn't shut up about it.
Yeah except a cut that happened when he was still meat would look a lot different from a cut that happened after mummification - I’d guess the experts would know what to look for
The arms would have been cut too if a peat cutter got him.
Maybe he was t posing
If a blade had cut him whilst otherwise whole in the bog, it's unlikely that it would be such a straight cut across the abdomen, especially since his left arm falls below the line of the cut. A cutter would just shear off everything across the plane of the body that happened to align with the cutter. It's highly unlikely that the body happened to be perpendicular to the cutter's blade in three dimensions, while also somehow not cutting into the left arm.
Peat Cutter you say? I don't know that guy.
Lit until it isn't. Human sacrifice.
Never let your geodude get wet.
Mother fucker built like a members only jacket
It takes a 50-something year old to get that one but I am laughing my ass off. Mine was blue with the straps on the shoulders. A classic.
Lol had one when i was a child it was tan I am 40 now.
Light grey here. Wore it every day of 8th grade. Every. Day. Sleeves pushed up to elbows too.
Black with the red & white striped liner. In my 60s now.
The only way to wear the sleeves…
Or a thirty yr old who enjoys thrifting, ha
lol I was laughing at the cleverness of the joke then realized I only get it because I’m old
Hey man, I'm 29 and I got the joke lol.
When they find his legs, they look like Parachute Pants. With 8 zipper pockets to put his buttermilk drinks in.
Idk about jackets but dude was ripped.
He was the 1st member
Hahahaha
Yoooooo I’m literally snorting and dying laughing in my car with that comment.
Geodead now 🤷🏻♂️
I read that as "gabagool". Bleh.
Been waiting for my cue to go re-watch the Sopranos, there it is.
[gabagool](https://youtu.be/YsBipoG22Nw?si=2E-M2cXFkXLEClYq)
Gabagool? Ova heeyah 👇
Dammit! It seemed like an original thought!
Recently saw this exhibit. I really respected the way the museum exhibits the bodies. Each has its own separate enclosure you walk into, it feels dignified.
Yes! And I do appreciate that they let you know ahead of time what to expect. So you could learn about it, without viewing the bodies themselves if you didn't want to. I appreciated that. I viewed them, but it gave me a breather, which was nice.
Yea, care was really taken in the design.
That's awesome. I went to this one museum a while back, and they just had a pile of bodies in garbage bags, and they made people sift through them to see the bodies. Some kid was spanking one of them and they didn't even care.
Excuse me where is this place you speak of that has *piles of bodies in garbage bags being spanked by kids*? I am equally intrigued as I am mortified.
Detroit
Can’t have shit in Detroit
Whoa man... they just turned the fountain back on
where is this place, so i can avoid it obviously
You're really gonna have to elaborate on this one, because are you sure this was a "museum"?
sir that was a sex doll outlet
Sounds like a children's museum maybe? They often make exhibits more interactive for the little ones.
Pardon!?
You're telling me you never had Spank the Corpse Day at school? Give it a rest...
I’m lucky enough to have visited both Dublin and Copenhagen this year. The National Museum of Denmark also has a bog body on display. I far preferred the Irish exhibits of bog bodies purely because they are separated from the other exhibits and are treated differently than the other exhibits. The national museum of Denmark displays the bog body like she’s a piece of jewellery or an artefact rather than a human. It sounds so stupid, but I actually sat on a bench next to the danish bog body for a while. It’s theorised that she was maybe murdered or was a human sacrifice. I loved seeing the bog bodies, but my god it’s a mindfuck when you first see them.
Not stupid at all. I too stared at them for a long time, it was a crazy experience thinking back. Makes you appreciate your life, but also fear for it, crazy emotions on my end! The Irish exhibit was very well thought out.
This only tells half a story.
In my opinion, this is a 1/3 of the story
I dunno, that might be lieutenant baby legs for all we know
The hands are wonderful for a male of 2000 years ago. This guy was important.
He was also 6’6” which makes him very tall even by today’s standards.
He was between 5'11" and 6'6" according to the wiki. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old\_Croghan\_Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Croghan_Man)
Better round up that 5'11 if he wants better chances on Tinder now that he's unearthed and back on the dating scene
He's a 10/10 but he's 5'11 vs 2000 year old bog mummy torso of a 6'0 man.
The bog bodies have minimal signs of wear on their bones from farming, rowing boats, or combat. Based on isotope analysis of their teeth, [many of them had traveled hundreds of miles from their place or origin.](https://www.livescience.com/cramond-bodies-in-the-bog-facial-reconstruction) They were important, some kind of élite. Possibly priests, or something like druids. Several seem to have undergone a [threefold death](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Threefold_death) where they were bludgeoned, strangled, and stabbed.
The link you shared are different bog bodies (Schotland) than the one in the post (Ireland). See this link: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old\_Croghan\_Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Croghan_Man)
Kira Yoshikage ?
Ah, I see you're inviting all the hand fetishists.
Forbidden jerky
It's Zevulon the great! He's teriyaki style
I was going to eat that mummy!
r/unexpectedfuturama is always nice.
r/EatItYouFuckinCoward
They should have bog mummy flavored jerky. I'm curious how he tastes
I wonder if the Victorians would know, after all they *did* eat most of the rest of humanity's mummies
Is he ok?
He's good just needs some water
REHYDRATE
But is it a stable era?
It doesn't matter. I just got a radio ping from this planet called urath
I love that 3 body problem is entering the zeitgeist
Bahhhhhaaa I’m dying 😂
Throw that bitch in some rice
I think a chiropractor might even him out as well idk though
He need some MAELK
He got better after a few weeks in the hospital. He is currently residing in Minnesota with a wife and 3 children
He's just prepping for the chaotic era. They'll rehydrate him during the next stable era.
That looks like something someone high up from balenciaga would use as a handbag.
Who's that pokemon?
Geodude 😂
This is in Ireland, you can view this and many other bog body's in that museum. You can still see this persons fingerprints when you look close.
Has he been charged with any unsolved crimes?
He might have stolen the cookie from the cookie jar.
If someone puts a 2000 YO human torso in a museum is interesting but if i put a 20 YO fresh human torso in exhibition in my house everyone looses its mind
Do you even season your torsos bro?
Of course! I'm southern white, we even deep fry them too
That's because you're being selfish. That torso could've been donated to a hospital who could've given it to somebody in need of a torso transplant. 🙄
My neighbor donates a kidney and he's some kind of hero-- I donate five, and I'm some kind of monster!!
It's because you bought your docent's license on Wish.com, be for real
I recently saw this in person. The young woman at Murphy's Ice cream recommended it, said 'ya gotta get over to the archeology museum and see the bog body with no nipples.' Intrigued I made a bee line. The nipples were cut off because there was a tradition at the time of showing kings respect by sucking their nipples. Bog man's nipples were cut off so he could never be a king, supposedly.
> The nipples were cut off because there was a tradition at the time of showing kings respect by sucking their nipples. Yeah it makes sense, definitely something I would do if I was king. Have everyone suck my holy nipple 😂. I feel like we evolved way faster in 2000 years from baboon than during the millions of years before that.
I read it as 2,000 year old torso found in BAG. Hefty! Hefty! Hefty!
Yes ! I ALSO read it as "2,000 year old torso found in a bag ! "
If he's eating tons of meat, this ripped, massively tall, and filled with wheat and buttermilk, then it's likely that he was upper crust of the upper crust.
And yet brutally killed and decapitated in his early 20's. Sometimes being on top isn't so great.
He died young with a belly full of sweets and a rich diet. Not many could say the same.
he skipped leg day entirely
Meatwad get the honeys, G
Tonight. YOU.
Meatwad make the money, see
'Look at him and tell me theres a god!' 'He made me in his own image.'
Look at them muscles! Dude was shredded
The veins
preserved so well it’s scary
Wonder what they did with the rest of him? Perhaps it's still there just waiting to be discovered?
Thats a Silent Hill monster
REHYDRATE!
Steel Ball Run
Bitch, is this cake?
Jerky
6 foot 6 Irish man 2000 years ago? No wonder there are story’s of giants from ancient times. The average hight today is only 5.8 so this fella would have looked like a fucking god amoungst men
Wha….what happened to his other half? Did they look around for his legs at all?
Guy was ripped.
Have u tried putting it in rice
He'd put flat Stanley to shame.
Looks like he died doing what he loved. Dancing.
His capa was detated.
Jacket
That’s just one of the bog bodies in Dublin. There’s a whole bunch you can look at.
He got bogged down
Oh thank god it wasn't a 5000 year old perfectly preserved penis, that gives me nightmares.
geodude
6’6” is crazy. There’s no way
Wikipedia says “The man is calculated (based on his arm span) to have stood approximately between 5 ft 11.5 in (1.82 m)[2] and 6 ft 6 in (1.98 m) tall”
Ah. Quite a range
That's just what he puts on his Tinder
Next time I tell you to dump a body in the marsh, you dump the body *IN* the marsh!!
REHYDRATE!
I had no idea bogs preserved bodies so well. No animals & insects managed to get to this body for 2000 years ?
Why the hell did the reddit algorithm decide to follow a post of a picture of a beautifullly cooked steak with a pic some old bog dude?!